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Apr 28, 2021 8 tweets 2 min read Read on X
destressing from family woes by watching an episode of chopped that involves people saying the words "ooey gooey" in a Very Serious Tone repeatedly
the theme of this one is "weird" chopped tv show screenshot showing 4 mystery ingredients: Fo
someone stirring a pot with the subtitle "the gaminess
im dying judge amanda looking at a plate saying "I like the crisa plate of pasta and tomato with caption "You get hit i
theyre cooking swamp rats judge jeffrey zakarian saying "she could add garlic, pa
wait thats the name of a movie a female chef  with a short slicked back haircut in a blue l
thats not real unicorn barf
you never make risotto on chopped!!!!

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More from @swordsjew

Mar 26, 2023
my boyfriend got to pick the movie in our marathon and picked bridge on thr river kwai, and i apologize to all of you for saying that movie is wildly boring
aaa. why is it 3 hours long
this is the most heterosexual ive ever been. forced to endure a film with no character development whatsoever
Read 6 tweets
Mar 23, 2023
ive been playing a Lot of tetris lately and let me tell you: the lyrics of the russian folk song that is the theme are *filthy*
Katya is haggling with care, She is afraid to pay too much,
i also, despite having the spatial awareness of a concussed hen, am extremely good at tetris.
Read 5 tweets
Mar 23, 2023
my only real retrograde opinions are i think we should bring back the mid-atlantic accent in all movies, and a man looks best with a flourishing moustache
brought to you by my ill self watching The Third Man
Read 4 tweets
Mar 14, 2023
I did a whole series on how evangelicals love to beat their children it's here they love citing Proverbs about it theswordandthesandwich.substack.com/p/ministry-of-…
Subscribe to my substack where I yell about bad people who hurt kids theswordandthesandwich.substack.com
Read 4 tweets
Mar 13, 2023
brendan fraser is awesome, im glad he made a triumphant comeback, it just sucks that he won for such a crappy irredeemable harmful movie
Read 4 tweets
Mar 7, 2023
help im getting the Tuesday Scaries (like the Sunday Scaries but about your entire life)
basically i wish i made as much money writing heartfelt intense idealistic prose as lazy bigots do inventing shit
if you subscribe to my newsletter you will not get
-lies about anti white/anti christian bias
-transphobia (any kind)

you will get
-forays into history & literature
-leftist takes on religion & politics
-many delicious essays about sandwiches

theswordandthesandwich.substack.com/subscribe
Read 4 tweets

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