Lovelies, I've just had a chat with Dad and there are a couple of updates I thought you might like if you're following #operationmallard :) First is regarding Mr Mallard as a few of you have asked about him. I've been fixated on Mrs Mallard, so never asked him before!
So Mr Mallard is nearby! He stands on the big white bridge over the canal and they quack at each other! Earlier in the nesting cycle, they saw much more of each other - she lays an egg per day so they had to... do some lovin' daily ;) [feels so British and awkward!]
Once all the eggs were laid, he called for her on most days and they would go off for a bit of time together, when she wasn't off on the razzle with the other ducks who came calling for her. She's quite popular, our Mrs Mallard ;)
So I am correcting my opinion of Mr Mallard. He is around, but much harder to catch on camera! Dad has seen and heard him calling for Mrs Mallard from the bridge below and heard her calling back. Like: "YOU COMIN' OUT, LUV?"- "AYE, JUST A MINUTE, LET ME COVER THE EGGS!" :)
I should add - thanks to @SiameseCaroline for the question - that she lays one egg per day until all are done, and only once all are laid does she start to sit on them for hours every day. That way they all hatch on the same day :)
Okay... what else did Dad say...? Oh yes! Mindful of the duckling who fell out of the nest early on last year, he's made some rudimentary platforms so if any tumble out this year before the rest are hatched, they can climb back up to momma <3
I just melted when I heard this, and said "aaaaawwww, that's so lovely!" and Dad said "I've not painted flowers on them or anythin', Em!" and it made me laugh :)
So Mrs Mallard is currently dosing in the sun and Dad is fully prepared for the big day. The weather is terrible on Monday so we are both really, really hoping that it is going to be Wednesday plus or minus a day.
That's all for now, lots of love to you all!

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More from @EmApocalyptic

28 Apr
Oh. My. Goodness. Okay... errrr... well my tweet thread yesterday about my Dad and #operationmallard seems to have gone viral.

Umm... good morning everyone who's now invested in this story. I shall do my very best to look after you. Just need to finish this cup of tea...
My stream is moving so fast and I am so overwhelmed I can't reply to everyone otherwise my brain will get too fried and I won't be able to do the thing I want to work on today. But please do keep sending your stories about ducks and other birds nesting at your homes!
Honestly, the absolute bestest thing is all the people saying it's brightened their day. YAY! I am so glad! I wish I could make you all a cup of tea (or other comforting beverage of your choice) and give you a hug. #operationmallard updates will have to suffice though!
Read 7 tweets
27 Apr
Bloody hell, everything is just awful and I am so angry about so many things... so I'm going to tell you about something good happening, something tiny and sweet and inconsequential in the hope it might help you if you are feeling as overwhelmed by horror as I am.
My Dad lives in an apartment near a canal and a certain duck has taken a liking to his balcony. So much so that she nested there last year and is nesting there again this year. But there are some things you need to know about this situation.
First: my Dad's apartment is on the 9th floor. It's about 150 feet up, if memory serves. Ducks usually nest close to water. And in fairness, the water is close.... just a really, really long way down.
Read 25 tweets
24 Feb
Lovelies, I haven't been on Twitter much over the last year or so, certainly not in the way I used to be. I feel the need to talk about why, so I'm just gonna splurge it all out here to get through it. It's gonna be a long thread. [Takes a very deep breath.]
Before I start, please understand that I will probably not reply to most responses. I simply can't, and hopefully by the end of this thread the reason will be clear. Please don't think I am being rude or ignoring you.
This is going to be hard to talk about, but I feel it's important because I made a conscious decision to be open about mental health and suffering from anxiety. And I want to explain my absence to those who only connect with me here.
Read 27 tweets
17 Apr 18
Okay, so I need to talk to you about something. Something I committed to being more open about a few years back. Living with anxiety. This is the ‘launching a book whilst having an anxiety disorder’ thread.
So the last couple of weeks I have barely been on Twitter, just popping in occasionally to RT a nice mention or two, or reply to people. This isn’t the way I like to use Twitter. I wasn’t being very social.
As today approached, I was aware of an increasing pressure building: I should be online more. I should be more social. I have a book coming out soon! No-one will know about it! Work harder! Promote! And of course the subtext here was: You are failing.
Read 28 tweets

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