I can't tell you the number of times someone found out that I'm asexual and asked, "Is it because of your disability"? This is harmful on many fronts. First of all, no. My spouse is also asexual and is able-bodied, so obviously, that's not the case.
But questions like these stem from deeper prejudices. Disabled people are constantly desexualized and infantilized. Many disabled people live healthy and fulfilling sex lives, and my asexuality is not a byproduct or "symptom" of my disabilities.
Asexuality as an orientation is widely medicalized. Many people (including some doctors) think that asexuality is not a valid orientation and, therefore, there must be something "wrong" that's causing it.
Are you asexual because sex hurts too much? Is a low libido a symptom of your EDS? Is it because your spouse doesn't want to take advantage of a disabled woman? NO NO AND NO. These are all real questions I've been asked in everyday life.
Questions like this are not only ableist, but they're also aphobic. They medicalize asexuality and disregard it as a valid orientation that people in EVERY demographic can identify as.
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