want to go back into the movie theater. currently there's no trailer for anything that has me saying "omg holy shit i gotta go." black widow looks good and ill see it in theater, but i need something to give me AWE now.
me, walking back into the regal movie theater with a year of movie points credits stacked to the ceiling
*waves dismissively to the masses*
"give the peasants some popping corn"
"this way, mr willis. your throne awaits."
me, when one movie is over:
oliver reviews the movies after a year of hiatus:
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Barack Obama pulled off his backpack at the base of Mount Rushmore. He reached in and pulled out the vial.
"Here, the blood of our enemies."
"All white, I presume," Michelle Obama noted with an air of blackery.
"As always."
Obama buried the blood and recited the Negro Anthem.
The smell of sulfur and Kenya filled the air. Obama smiled, like he smiled on the day he had ordered Operation Jade Helm.
Michelle Obama fell to her knees and prayed to God But Only for The Blacks.
The mountain rumbled. Lincoln's eyes flew open and beams of dark energy emerged.
Just indulge the whole right wing conspiracy crowd cause they’ll never stop.
The laptop with the decrypted Hunter Biden payoff video was on the sub, so were Trump’s stolen votes and Obama’s Kenyan birth certificate. Biden let it sink so it wouldn’t all come out. Duh.
The delay in reporting the sub implosion was so that the deep state clean teams could scrub all the incriminating evidence before the public found out. Biden has a bunch of ICBMs lined up on the White House lawn to take out future subs. No lie.
For years the Democrats have used a secret sub network to transport illegal secrets and evidence. There are at least 800 corpses for bodies of people Hillary personally killed at the bottom of the Marianas Trench.
hack noah doesnt understand that the supreme court isnt supposed to be corrupt so he thinks its fighting back to write dishonest opeds in the wsj defending scotus corruption, grrr grrrr
"conservatives are fighting back by lying yet again instead of not being corrupt, im @NoahCRothman"
this is part of the "conservatives are just victims to the onslaught of the vicious left" fan fiction canon. meanwhile the left basically fights in the public arena with both hands tied behind its back.
thats because all of conservatism is always bullshit and always has been. its not based on *anything* but dumb vibes and the desire to hurt people. there's nothing actually there.
(and journalists generally refuse to operate this way and democrats fear saying so)
look, maybe its cause im just a simple guy and i think politics is no more complicated than a hammer hitting a nail, but the simple matter is no conservative approaches to anything make any sense. it never works. on any issue. so why keep pretending like they have something?
it isnt like tax cuts for the rich stimulate economic growth. or restricting the rights of minority groups - women, blacks, lgbtq - has ever done anything good for america. pretending science isnt real is bullshit. so why do we keep acting like theres something?