Thread by @StructuredSucc

You know that "I have an important appointment later today... so I can't do anything until it happens" feeling?

Yeah... that's Waiting Mode.
Let's talk about how to get out of it (1/🧵)

[Paid content; editorial my own]

Waiting Mode, coined by @semispeaking, involves a couple elements more common to neurodivergent brains.

At it's core, Waiting Mode is an attention regulation issue related to anxiety, but also involves time agnosia and struggles getting started (2/16)

https://twitter.com/semispeaking/status/1317168964070506498?lang=en

Waiting Mode looks and feels a lot like rumination, where our mind focuses on a distressing situation and continues to return to it even after being pulled away (3/16)

healthline.com/health/how-to-…

In the case of Waiting Mode, the distressing situation is the appointment or fear of missing the appointment

Past experiences (and trauma) where we missed appointments because we blinked and 4 hours went by only make this anxiety more intense (4/16)

Combine this with pre-existing struggles with getting started on tasks, and genuinely not knowing if we have time to fit such-and-such task in before the appointment...

Well, that's a recipe for getting stuck anxiously watching the clock.

So, what can we do about it? (5/16)

1. Mind dump the anxiety onto the page.

For ND folks, anxiety and rumination can be a coping strategy for weaknesses in working memory or other areas.

In these situations, getting the thoughts out and onto paper (w/o worrying about organization or structure) can help (6/16)

Mind dumping creates a physical record of the things we're worried about forgetting.

It also pins our thoughts in one place, a fact that's particularly important for ADHD'ers whose thoughts can be rather disorganized (7/16)

Once the thoughts are pinned in place, we can sort them more easily.

The result may be a series of steps that are needed to get ready for the appointment, or a social script to navigate the interactions involved (8/16)

Even if these practical strategies aren't the result of the mind dump, it will still help with the next part:

2. Use mindfulness to identify thoughts and worries, and let them pass (9/16)

While mindfulness is often associated with meditation, it can be a part of many different activities or strategies.

At it's core, mindfulness is simply observing thoughts without getting attached (10/16)

structuredsuccess.ca/post/rethinkin…

Mindfully reflecting on the thoughts and emotions Working Mode is bringing up without getting lost in reacting to them is a solid strategy.

Not only does it de-escalate our emotional response, but it offers room to prepare for the appointment ahead too (11/16)

3. Set alarms you can't ignore.

For a lot of neurodivergent people, Waiting Mode is a logical reaction to past trauma from missing other appointments.

This has a lot to do with Time Agnosia, and it makes us terrified we'll do it again (12/16) tiimoapp.com/blog/coping-wi…

Setting alarms we can't ignore, such as ones that don't turn off until we perform an action, can break us out of hyperfocus and make it more likely we'll get out the door.

Having other people serve as our alarm (especially if they're coming with us) can be even better (13/16)

4. Throw out perfection and start with the thing that takes the least energy.

Getting started with tasks is often a struggle for ADHD and/or autistic folks. An upcoming appointment and having to make time estimates adds an additional barrier (14/16)

These additional barriers increase the amount of energy required to start tasks in the first place.

This leaves us with two options: 1) reduce the barriers or 2) do things that require less energy

... and the appointment's not going anywhere... (15/16)

So, rather than expecting yourself to make the most productive use of your time before an appointment, settle for completing small tasks that take less energy.

After all, getting something done is better than just being stuck anxiously watching the clock (16/16)

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This thread is based on a blog post I wrote in partnership with @tiimoapp!

Tiimo is a time management app focusing on the time-related struggles experienced by neurodivergent people.

If you're looking for the full post, here it is tiimoapp.com/blog/waiting-m…

You can find the other blogs I've written in this series at tiimoapp.com/blog

And you can learn more about Tiimo (and score a free trial) by checking out tiimoapp.com

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