Thread by @maazi_ogbonnaya

I had gone to the Enugwu Immigration office that very morning for my Passport. It was my first time of visiting immigration.

Getting to the office I was directed to, a young immigration officer approached me, smiling, acting all nice, showing me where to sit.

In this country?

This must be in my dream. Maybe I was hallucinating. I must confirm whether this is a dream or reality. I must pinch myself. If I feel pained, it's reality. If I feel no pains, it's a dream.

I pinched myself. It hurt. Then I realised I wasn't dreaming. My eyes were open.

But, this guy was too receptive. He must be a nice guy. Offices that like stressing one, this guy here has been smiling at me.

I saw a girl who came before me. He gave her form to fill. She did, then transfered 30k to him. Then passport was still 24k. He charged 30k. She paid.

She was told to come back. I saw another person who paid.

My Igbotic brains began to wander into many things. His kindness was suspicious. He used his hand to photocopy my credentials. In Nigeria? An officer? A uniform man photocopying for a bloody civilian?

Aka enwe dị ya.

He said I should pay him 30k just as others did. I smiled. Smiling like isi azụ.

I told him that my dad was an Army General. He said I should get the passport before 2 weeks since I'd be traveling abroad.

I was seeing the guy almost peeing in his boxers. He took me out.

"Your dad is a general?"

I nodded like agama lizard.

He switched to Igbo:
"Nwanne ka anyị rapụ ife a".

No. I'm ready to pay.

"Nwanne, ọ ma nnyere anyị aka, ka anyị rapụ ya. Many haven't gotten theirs for 6 months. These people I collected their money na trial and luck".

I'll pay Ọga.

"Guy, mpa gị bụ general, I don't want trouble. Go to Abakaliki, they have booklet".

That was how I became the son of Army General. If you're not smart in this country, ụmụazị ejiri gị gbazuo afịa.

I left there and paused, he paused; both of us paused.