Thread by @AutSciPerson

This is going to be a controversial thread

because it's about autistic cis women, and gender.

But I do think it's time to address it.

I've seen this in quite a few autistic spaces, especially when giving advice to parents.

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I'd like to clarify that this is specifically revolving around posts about trans and nonbinary autistic people, or autistic people questioning their gender identity. I see this the most on posts by parents of autistic kids who are questioning their gender identity.

2/15

Autistic cis women commonly have shared their experiences on these types of threads - threads where a parent specifically asks for help about how to support their kid questioning their gender identity.

3/15

Is an autistic cis woman's experience of gender and gender roles inherently bad to share?
No! Absolutely not!

Can it be unhelpful to share when trans autistic people should be centered?
Yes, and honestly it can even be harmful to autistic trans people generally.

4/15

These posts usually consist of the autistic cis woman wishing she could be treated as a boy growing up due to misogyny and the double standards of gender roles. Some autistic cis women even say it would've been very harmful for them to physically transition as a kid.

5/15

They say they were confused and felt different, and this got into questioning their gender identity. They may have done a lot of "common boy activities" and not cared about gender roles. But they are glad they never did anything as transitioning wouldn't have helped them.

6/15

Here's the problem:
There is so much anti-trans rhetoric in the world right now & abled cis people really love to use "autistic girls are just confused & we need to protect them" as a reason to destroy trans healthcare & trans lives, including autistic trans lives.

7/15

Is there a time and a place to talk about autistic cis women's experiences with misogyny and gender roles and gender identity questioning?

Absolutely!

But doing so on a post that's about supporting a very likely trans or nonbinary autistic kid is not it.

8/15

I experienced a LOT of the things that these autistic cis women talk about. I'm still assumed to be a woman in public. And I'm autistic. And I've experienced dismissal/misogyny. I've wanted to be treated like a boy because of sexism.

9/15

Do you want to know the major difference though?

I'm also not a girl, or a woman, and never was!

The idea that having thoughts about wanting to "avoid misogyny" as an autistic cis woman means you can't be trans/nonbinary is absolutely just wrong.

10/15

It creates a binary of "Well, if you ever wanted to be treated like a boy because of misogyny or sexism, then you are just confused and you're not really trans or nonbinary."

And that's really, really harmful. Particularly to people like me, and especially to trans kids.

11/15

The other issue is that many autistic cis women center surgeries/hormones and talk about how they would regret those physical changes to their bodies.

Maybe don't do that on a post that's asking to -support- their kid who's trying out different pronouns?

12/15

I used to think I was a cis woman who just didn't like gender roles, or who "just" wanted to be treated like the boys because of misogyny. But there was more.

I also think a lot of autistic people in general would be openly nonbinary if it was more normalized in society.

13/15

Please, autistic cis people -

Be aware that sharing your experiences in spaces that are specifically centering trans/nonbinary autistic voices can be harmful, especially if it's in an educative setting. What if that's the tipping point for a parent to dismiss their child?

14/15

There is a huge attack on trans rights and trans healthcare right now, especially trans kids. Please don't give them anymore ammunition.

I don't want autistic kids to have to take 28 years to realize who they are, to find their label & community like I did.

Please listen.
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