Thread by @vponamariov

Today I turned 32.

Sharing with you some life lessons that I learned by this time.

I do not claim I necessary follow them.

It's not a planned thread. Just some sincere thoughts about life.

In no particular order. 👇

Your personal experience is more important than any advice.

This thing I've read in "The happiness trap". It is a book dedicated to the ACT therapy method.

Any advice is good. But nothing can replace your own experience.

People affected by survivorship bias too much

We see cool photos of people who drink smoothies on the beach and code startups.

The bias is that those who suffer depression, burnouts, anxiety, who has debts, and so on - they don't tell you that.

indiehackers.com/post/holy-heck…

You cannot be sure for 100% in everything

There is no absolute truth.

The truth is what we think works in certain conditions at a certain time from our own perspective.

Do aliens exist? Will you survive tomorrow? Did that politician say what he really thought?

You never know

If a person never doubt then it's Dunning–Kruger_effect

People who never doubt tend to overestimate their abilities. Be careful with them.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunning%E…

You always operate with the risk/profit ratio.

Imagine you work on the weekends. Is it a bad thing? No. Remember there is no absolute truth?

You can get more profit if you do so.
And you can get burnout.

So you decide if the game is worth the candle.

Everybody has the same 24 hours per day.

There is no such thing as "I didn't have time!". We ofter make that excuse.

But the reality is that you have other priorities.

Therapy is a good thing.

From time to time you should apply contemporary methods of therapy. That will help to cope with difficulties.

Try different methods, and use those that work for you.

Radicalism is bad.

It's not bad to have different points of view.

It's bad when you are too radical with them.

If you think that the Earth is flat, it's okay.
If you scream that the Earth is flat without listening to what other people say - it's bad.

If you have a wild desire to do something right now - do it.

Yes, you may end up with less sleep.

But if you feel like you really want to do this and you see the immediate progress, I don't think it's a bad thing.

Just don't make it a habit, that will be radicalism/fanaticism

Our whole life is a set of cognitive biases

We affected by them too much. You barely can state something is absolute truth.

Imagine you take a pen and draw a green line. Is it green?

Not necessary. Maybe another person has a colorblindness disease and it's not green for him.

Everyone has their own opinion. And they will defend it. It's alright.

In order to exist, we need to believe in something. We need some ground.

We will defend this ground and reluctantly change our minds.

That's alright, that's how we live.

Flexibility helps.

Even though we need to believe in something and we defend our beliefs, sometimes we change them.

It depends on how flexible we are.

It's alright to say: "Yeah, I thought like this but I've changed my mind. Now I think otherwise".

You CAN change your mind.

Everything has its own reason

If someone made a bad thing, there is a reason for that.

It doesn't mean that you should tolerate it, but keep in mind that it might not be that easy.

Everybody decides what are their life goals.

For some people, it's important to have a family. For some - money. For some - something else.

It's alright.

And it's alright if the priorities change after time.

The main thing you should have is a desire.

If you don't have a desire, nobody can help you.

My therapist said that everything is possible but if you don't have a desire to change, it's impossible to help you.

Apart, maybe, some medicaments that will increase the desire.

Listen to others. Decide yourself.

This is one of my favorite points.

Don't be an idiot - listen to what others say.
But don't live their lives - decided yourself.