A year ago exactly, around the same time George Floyd was arrested then murdered for passing a counterfeit, I too was using a counterfeit bill to make a purchase. I didn’t know the bill was fake...
Pre-pandemic, a comedy booker (I don’t know which, but my industry is really cool) paid me out with a fake 100. I had to find out by trying to buy food at an Indian restaurant and the cashier's hand just spitting it back to me like an ATM, calmly saying "No."
When I heard the news later, I couldn't help but think, why him and not me? We committed the same crime. And I was high too. I remember running my finger along the bill and chills marching up my spine. How could someone be killed over fake money?
I felt guilty. Like I got away with something. And I still feel that way. We’ve since protested… against racism and for justice & police reform. But we still haven’t had the conversation about what to do when you discover you have a fake bill.
It’s not like you can take a counterfeit into the authorities and they’ll say “Thank you for your honesty, now here’s your REAL $100 bill.” No, they say, “Thanks for doing the right thing. Sorry for your loss.”
When you discover you have a counterfeit, you have two choices. Do the “right” thing and take the L... or find someone who’s not paying attention. Like a road comedian.
Rest in peace George. Sorry it was you and not me.
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