Thread by @ovshake42

Bob Crisp was born on May 28, 1911.

Probably the most remarkable Test player born in Calcutta. Or anywhere. Of any era.

I have spoken and written on him before, but have never done a thread.

Here.
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First, the cricketing bit, which, while hardly relevant, is actually fairly impressive.

Crisp took 276 wickets at 19.88.

Even today he remains the only bowler to take *four wickets in four balls* TWICE in First-Class cricket.

On another occasion he took four in five.
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He played only nine Test matches (29 wickets at 37.35), but all of them in the span of a year.

Cricket just happened to randomly cross his path. Thank goodness it did.

The Crisps had moved to Rhodesia when Bob was young.

He went to Prince Edward School, Salisbury.
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There, he won the 100-yard sprint, long-jump, high-jump, hurdles, and heavyweight boxing for two successive years.

He played rugby as a forward for Mashonaland.

He came second in the 100-yard swimming championship in Bulawayo.

So cricket could have been a timepass activity.
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Crisp was chosen for South Africa's England tour of 1935.

He was climbing the Kilimanjaro when the squad was announced.

On his way back, near the foothills, he met a friend who had never climbed the peak.

So Crisp climbed the peak again, this time with his friend.
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When they had almost made it, his friend broke a leg.

Crisp carried him up and then all the way down.

Had this been someone else I would have thought this was exaggerated.

But with Crisp, you never know.

Crisp signed up for World War II.
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He was initially posted in Alexandria. There he used to spend all his earnings on gambling and alcohol.

Then he sang in the bar or seduced rich women to earn money.

Crisp became a Captain in three months. He claimed that this was because his CO had once played for Hampshire.
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He commanded an M3 Stuart Tank. He once used the word "honey" to describe it.

So famous are Crisp's war exploits that the British call it the Honey even today.

In the Balkans, Crisp had tanks shot out from under him. He got away with minor wounds.
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He fired a .38-caliber revolver at a German Mark IV Panzer.

He blasted a dozen enemy tanks.

He shot down a twin-engine Henkel Bomber with a cupola-mounted .50-caliber Browning machinegun just when it was about to make a bombing run.
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He was hit by shell shrapnel in his skull in the Libyan Desert. His companion in the tank died.

There was no surgeon. A gynaecologist performed the surgery.

Upon recovery, Major Crisp fought in Greece and North Africa.

He was part of the Operation Crusader against Rommel.
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He used his machinegun to bring down a German bomber.

He fought for a fortnight at Tobruk while sleeping 90 minutes a day.

At Sidi Rezegh, he thwarted 70 tanks with his Honey. It earned him a DSO.

The Desert Rat, they affectionately called him.
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There should have meant more honours.

But General Montgomery, no less, intervened. Crisp's reward got downgraded to Military Cross.

Ordinary conduct, you see.

He would be demoted twice more, and re-promoted every time.

He was invalided out in Normandy.
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Crisp wrote two books on his war experiences – Brazen Chariots (1959) and The Gods Were Neutral (1961).

Both were critically acclaimed.

Apart from the beautiful prose and excellent detailing, Crisp brought out another aspect seldom seen in autobiographical works: remorse.
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In 1964, he wrote The Outlanders: The Men Who Made Johannesburg.

I shall end the War phase with a cricket story. Crisp noticed a young man in the Australian Services bowl.

This man, he found out, was essentially a batter who bowled sometimes.
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Crisp convinced him to bowl fast off a 15-pace run.

Thus, Crisp gave Australia Keith Miller, arguably the greatest all-rounder in their history.

Crisp did not play serious cricket after the War. It had taken a toll.

But stories of his feats became known.
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"That did not surprise me. Bob was the real soldier-type of man. I admired him greatly," wrote a contemporary cricketer.

Don Bradman.

After the War, Crisp co-founded Drum, a tabloid for black South Africans, mostly non-urban. He wanted to work on the tribes.
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His co-founder Jim Bailey (son of Abe) was not too keen.

So Crisp, a strong advocate against the Apartheid, went to England. He became a journalist at the Daily Express.

He got married and had two sons.

He quit his job, his wife's money and bought a mink farm in Suffolk.
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It was a disastrous decision.

He then joined the East Anglian Daily Times.

Then, in the late 1960s, he moved to Greece.

He lived in a goat herder's hut on Mani Peninsula without running water or a lavatory.

There was little compromise on female company, though (he was 55).
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Then he was diagnosed with cancer. Incurable, was the medical verdict.

Crisp decided to take a year-long walk around Crete. He sold his experiences to the Sunday Express.

When he got bored, he tried to row back to Greece.

The boat sank. Crisp survived. Obviously.
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Medical tests revealed that Crisp's cancer had cured.

There are theories but nobody knows *for certain* why or how his cancer was cured.

He was flown to the UK and the USA as a study case for medical research.

Crisp died in his sleep at Colchester, Essex on March 3, 1994.
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About 25 years after the doctors had given up on him. He was 82.

They found a copy of Sporting Life on his lap. He had bet 20-pound on a horse and had lost.

I don't think he would have bothered.