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30 May, 5 tweets, 1 min read
I regret to announce that, despite trying for what has been angrily described as “an ungodly amount of our limited family time”, I have been unable to find a way to rewrite the lyrics to Underneath Your Clothes by Shakira to plug the paperback release of #FakeLaw.

I’m sorry.
Partly I’ve diagnosed the problem as the shameless egotism (even for me) of opening with

🎵You're a book written by the hands of God🎵

I don’t feel that even my talent for false modesty can row back from a start like this.
Partly it’s the character limit stopping me hitting the chorus in a single tweet:

🎵You're a book written by the hands of God
Don't get me wrong, this might sound to you a bit odd
But you own the place where all my thoughts go hiding
Right inside this book is where I find them🎵
But even when I get to the chorus, I’m not satisfied with it. Because let’s be honest, the first line is nonsense.

🎵Underneath this book
There's an endless story
There's legal lies & myths
That’s my territory
And all the things you deserve
For being such a good girl honey🎵
Anyway, point is, I’ve tried my best. And I don’t know what else you people want from me.

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More from @BarristerSecret

The Secret Barrister Profile picture
1 Jun
This story in today’s Times is a complete mess.

1. The prosecution doesn’t cross-examine prosecution witnesses.

2. Questions about sexual history are already “all but abolished”, and can never be asked to impugn a complainant’s character.

thetimes.co.uk/article/rape-v… ImageImage
This isn’t legal nitpicking. These are important news stories and public confusion over this area of the law is already widespread after years of misinformation by politicians and campaigners.

If you don’t understand what you are reporting, please ask somebody who does.
Would also add that the most significant change the government could make to increasing confidence in criminal justice and tackling “rock-bottom prosecution rates” is to fund the police, CPS and courts so that people don’t have to wait 3-4 years for trials. Image
Read 4 tweets
The Secret Barrister Profile picture
31 May
The government is cracking down on out-of-control whiplash fraud! Saving YOU, the motorist, £35 a year on your premium! Huzzah!

Only, as Chapter 3 of #FakeLaw explains, you’re not being given the truth.

Those in power are misleading you.

[THREAD] 👇
The government and certain media have claimed for years that the UK is, variously, “the whiplash capital of Europe” or “the whiplash capital of the world”.

The truth?

The figures used for these claims don’t stack up.

Insurers have also made the same claim in other countries.
When the House of Commons Select Committee published its 2018 report into the government’s “reforms”, it criticised the “absence of reliable data” behind ministers’ - and the insurance industry’s - repeated claims about whiplash fraud.
Read 9 tweets
The Secret Barrister Profile picture
26 May
As Saint Dom offers his unique brand of self-exculpatory truth to the country today, a reminder that his self-interest and wholesale ignorance of the rule of law posed a very real threat to our justice system during his fifteen minutes of power. [THREAD]

👇
After the Supreme Court ruled that the government acted unlawfully in proroguing Parliament without offering a single reason (let alone a good reason) for doing so, Dom started briefing that he was going to “get the judges sorted”. ft.com/content/6ac426…
When Priti Patel’s Home Office acted unlawfully, and the courts ruled that her Home Office had acted unlawfully, Dom waded in with his size sevens again, briefing (or allowing it to be briefed without correction) that he was plotting “revenge”. mirror.co.uk/news/politics/…
Read 11 tweets
The Secret Barrister Profile picture
23 May
In what is looking spookily like a tandem publicity campaign for the paperback release of #FakeLaw, the Mail on Sunday offers a classic from Chapter 7.

The Burden and Standard of Proof in criminal cases.

Or Why A Not Guilty Verdict Does Not Mean A Complainant Has Lied

[THREAD]
Lavinia Nourse was acquitted by a jury last week of serious criminal charges relating to child sexual abuse.

Amanda Platell’s thesis is that this acquittal proves that the Crown Prosecution Service were wrong to prosecute.

Let’s start with the basics.
When deciding whether to charge a criminal allegation, the CPS apply a two-stage test.

1) Is there a realistic prospect of conviction based on the evidence?

2) If so, is it in the public interest to prosecute?

Yes to both = a prosecution.
Read 18 tweets
The Secret Barrister Profile picture
20 May
Oh boy. It’s been a while since we’ve had one of these.

Presumably this is in honour of the paperback publication of #FakeLaw next week, 27 May 2021.

Let’s look at why this trash from the Mail is as misleading as it is dangerous.

[THREAD]
1. Readers are invited to conclude that £66,000 (not £70k) is too much to spend on this very serious case, in which a child was killed. A “vast sum of taxpayers’ money”, we’re told.

And there’s a quote from this chap.

(We’ll come back to his searing legal analysis, don’t worry)
2. But the journalist has not bothered to tell you any of the context that you would need to even *begin* to assess whether that cost is too high, too low, or about right for a criminal trial like this. Such as...
Read 25 tweets
The Secret Barrister Profile picture
11 May
Oh HELLO, you beautiful soft papery munchkins.

Get your own box of delicious paperback legal nutrition at all good bookstores from 27 May 2021.

Ideal for friends and relatives currently disposed towards a #FakeLaw-rich diet.
Publicity/rampant egotism requires that the paperback cover includes all those rave reviews from across the political and media spectrum (you guys! Sooo embarrassing).

But in the interests of balance, I should disclose the negatives too.

Like, don’t eat this book.
I also apologise in advance for the postal service damaging your copy in transit.
Read 4 tweets

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