Thread by @damnyouwillis

still not as horrifying as that other face

anyway enjoy shrieking bondage jesus

i have no idea what any of the dialogue means

i absolutely can't follow it or understand what it's attempting to convey

though what i get from other responses to it is that it is bad

i do remember this guy as the "i'm gay but not so gay i don't wanna fuck your lady legs" guy

what i gather from both of these strips is the author needs different allegories

[more confused mumbling]

it's honestly a brilliant tactic to keep me from making fun of your strip by just making it impossible for me to parse what's going on

it's happening: for Pride, 9 Chickweed Lane is deciding that its gay character isn't gay actually and also his gay boyfriend is a jerk

never forget the warp and weft of the narrative

thecelebritycafe.com/2017/01/interv…

YOU KNOW WHO ELSE SHOULD LOOK LIKE SHE HASN'T HAD A FULL EIGHT HOURS OF SLEEP, THIS MOTHER OF TWIN TODDLERS OVER HERE

there is no way in real life that first line would not be delivered with anything less than dripping sarcasm, because she realistically has not slept more than two hours consecutively for 15 months

"oh, you look a little tired, HOW NICE"

if I were a cartoonist I would simply write in any laughter that is being responded to by my characters

me: *explaining this current arc*

my wife: I hate this so much, why do you bring this into our house

the cat, too, is horny

"yeah, so, like, the cat, like, shoved its paw in the guy's mouth, because the cat wanted to enhance the guy's sex dream????"

the cat made out with him while he was sleeping

finally we see seth's boyfriend and we learn two things:
1) what his face looks like
2) he doesn't know how to use a can opener?????
2a) what cat food doesn't have pull tabs these days anyway

I had to look up "palpate" and I am pleased to announce it is not mean penetrate

It does however raise some questions about what emperor palpatine's name means

Cartooning lifehack: You don't have to draw the car! Just put it in silhouette and have a character tell us what model it is in dialogue

Brooke McEldowney Draw Seth And His Actual Boyfriend Doing This Challenge

no matter how terrible a story this is, I still have room for hate in my heart for it not remembering or caring which side of the bed Seth sleeps on

note: gocomics doesn't allow comments on 9CL, but .... arcamax does

arcamax.com/thefunnies/nin…

(if you wait like 3 minutes for them to load)

see now Bryan has some next level analysis, I was stuck on Eww Sexy Child Legs Land with Carl

gay guy going back into the matrix to have hetero sex, totally normal pride month storyline

oh sure, Seth gets to have the exact sex dream he set out to have, but if this were anybody else dreaming, this woman would have also been Ronald McDonald and they'd helped you run a raccoon store on the moon

no one:

9 chickweed lane during pride month: BEING STRAIGHT IS THE BEST, YA GOTTA TRY THIS SHIT

PLOT TWIST: both Seth and his ex-girlfriend are sharing the same dream somehow, now they can get back together for real and Seth can stop getting his gay stink on this comic strip and everyone can fuck only ladies forever happy pride

somebody in this comic was not 100% all about lady legs and that could not be abided

um excuse me the most beautiful Phantasm is Andrea Beaumont

"What's to-day, my fine fellow?" cried Seth, calling upward to a weird-ass cat he could talk to for some reason.
"Why, it's PRIDE MONTH!" the cat replied, somehow.
"It's Pride Month!" said Seth to himself. "I haven't missed it! The woman has done it all in one night."

5 strips: cat
3 strips: edda gossipping
754,258,926 strips: gay guy fuckin' a ballerina in his dreams
2 strips: his husband appears

please help me budget this pride month storyline, my comic is dying

She is beauty she is Grace she can't choose which direction she wants to face

Syndrome: and when EVERYTHING'S sexy... NOTHING will be

maybe for Pride Month, McEldowney murdered heterosexuality for everyone by beating it like a dead fucking horse

June's over. We're back to LEGS, LEGS, LEGS, LEGS, not hands, clearly, but LEGS

*taps forehead* don't have to draw the dude's left thigh if you already ejaculated

hey guess what: this being her dream doesn't make this a shitty story to run .... well, any month, really

Every single panel is literally the male gaze - this is not in any way her dream

anyway, yes, Saturday's strip with the lady waking up seems to be the end of the Seth Is Straight For Pride Month storyline, and we're back to Restaurant Booth Fuckin'

I regret to inform you that this storyline was not in fact over, that was merely a brief booth-fucking intermezzo

it's not really 9 Chickweed Lane-brand horny unless it involves the children somehow

1) these kids are 18 months old
2) what
3) WHAT
4) Jesus Christ

no one is raising these children, it's just strata after strata of neglect

If I were choosing babysitters for my children I would simply choose a babysitter who didn't sleep the entire time

confirmed: the cartoonist is unaware of bisexuality

I stared at this one for a bit trying to figure out what it was going for other than absurdity, and then I remembered OH! LEGS! the cartoonist loves legs!! and it clicked into place that this was intended to be alluring rather than just fucking bizarre

hey Brooke you forgot to meticulously airbrush her legs and nothing else in the final panel

what the FUCK what the FUCKING FUCK what the absolute fucking fuck FUCK fucking FUCK FUCK WHAT THE JESUS FUCKING FUCK

the warp and weft of the narrative strikes again

https://twitter.com/damnyouwillis/status/1401205537480581122?s=19

T̵̡̧͙͖͓͙̠̄̋̓͒͠h̶̨̧͓̺̰̻̹̯̜͇͍̰̘̲̜̀e̸̛̮̫̰̲̣̜͓̬̣̞̣̦̟͎̒̌̅̀͊̀͘ ̶̛͇̰̺̪̮̲͇̼̞͓̤͎͋̈́̽̀̊̍̂̉͑̇̒̓̐̌͜ń̶͔̊͑̇́̿͆̀̃̀̾͆͋̈́̑a̸̻̪͋̇͝r̸̛̳̳̙̬̓̄̐̇r̶̡̧̛̝̖̩̈́̓̔̂̑̈́̏̈́͆̑͘͠a̶̡̧̼͉̭͎̙̼̺̺̥̜̯̗̞͛̆̍̆̑̃̑̇͌̕͝͝t̷̡̡͕̥̻̦͔͎̳͖̹̼̮͍̆̐̇͛̒̽̈̏̀̚̚͘̕ḯ̸̛͕̗̻͌̓̒̆̀͊͆̽̇̈́͛̕͝v̸͖̦̘͊e̸̙̲̲̭̥͓̼̯͓͗͊͂̊̓̒

pretty sure "the narrative" needed the hot guy out of the way of edda getting with chinless mcauthor and so "the narrative" had to gay up, but now that they're married with children "the narrative" doesn't need the gay anymore

edda is just off-panel this entire time rolling her eyes and making the jerk-off motion with her hand

maybe these two SHOULD get married just to quarantine them from other people

So will the storyline deal with the fallout with Seth's boyfriend, or just forget he exists now

*gestures at 9CL Facebook group*

somebody please talk me down from joining this group just to explain bisexuality

they're definitely not going to learn what it is from this newspaper comic strip, apparently their only source of sexual wisdom

IT'S A DREAM AGAIN???? GODDAMMIT WHAT IS THIS THE FUCKING HETERO DANGER ROOM

fellas is it cheating if you can join a shared dreamspace where you can fuck all day and get engaged

every new day is a dramatic unveiling of whether this really matters or not, definitely not tedious, incredibly engaging

me, approaching Oscar Isaac on the street: excuse me sir you said yes in my dream so we're married now

sometimes I think about how once an editor told Arlo and Janis it couldn't show the characters *eating peas* because readers might think it was a "southern" comic strip

anyway congrats to rob liefeld captain america here for being the first non-legs thing to be shaded with airbrush

tfw you hump a guy's elbow so that the artist can see the curve of your legs better

there are so many cartoonists who could draw better sex to print next to Garfield

so anyway, Amos and Edda are just active accomplices in helping Seth cheat on his boyfriend, huh

please tell your grandmas that there are a billion better sexy artists on the internet and that it's too bad this is what she had to see instead

in search of answers

Okay

So they both know and understand that they are sharing dreams with each other and intentionally go into that dream space to do gross heterosexual things, but it makes sense???? that they'd ask the other person if they knew what the other was dreaming?????

Like, if you want to give yourself plausible deniability about the gross straight sex you've been dream-having, maybe don't ask the PERFECTLY NORMAL question of "hey did you see the dream I just had"

But I guess bad porn isn't about the story logic is it

so nobody's gonna snatch the word "bisexuality" out of the air huh

THAT'S RIGHT THIS THREAD'S POPPING UP INTO YOUR FEED AT 7PM TODAY, TOTALLY GOTCHA

Seth grappling with his understanding of his sexuality could have made an interesting story, but I think mostly it's been about drawing Fernanda getting railed for two solid months

btw, since it's been two months, the long-discarded context of the OP's "still not as horrifying as that other face" is this comic

"Seth you dummy this is clearly not a dream cuz we're not fucking, you don't just come up with random non-sexing shit in dreams"

*finger to ear*

"whoa you don't say? for real?"

*finger still to ear*

"and this gets published in newspapers?"

"welp, her legs are imperfect, I'm out"

"I'm a gay dude in a newspaper comic strip and I get to do a lotta kissing!"
"The kissing's with men, right?
"..."
"the kissing's with men right"

gay dudes should just try kissing some ladies???? have they considered that????????

the Facebook group running both hot and cold today

the faithful/unfaithful duality

i'm glad we've quickly solved edda's unfaithfulness, shelved it, and we're headed directly into seth's imminent unfaithfulness

*looks at amos* hey remember that 5 minutes in 2004 when some attempt was made at approximating edda's level of attractiveness

legs: the cause and the solution to all life's problems

I mean I was assuming she was nutchecking him, but I guess it's equally likely in this comic strip that he's merely recoiling in disgust from the sight of her imperfect post-surgery legs

no cops at pride, Seth