Pulp Librarian Profile picture
Jun 3, 2021 13 tweets 7 min read Read on X
If stock photography has taught us one thing it's how to recognise a hacker! But how much do we really know about these shady characters, with their ill-fitting balaclavas and their Windows 7 laptops?

Here's my essential stock photography guide to #cybersecurity...
First things first, hacking has come on leaps and bounds in the last few years. Backing up your sensitive data on C60 cassette and labelling it "Flock of Seagulls Megamix' is no longer enough to keep your information safe!
And hackers are actually very hard to spot. That's because they dress head-to-toe in black (or very very very dark grey) since they live on the Dark Web and want to blend into the background.
What hackers want from you is personal information. No matter how trivial it still has value to them - and they'll go to extrodinarily lengths to get it!
There are many types of hacker. Some are 'crackers': experts at breaking into networks. Their 'tell' is their habit of saying "I'M IN" in a deep voice once they've got past the firewall. Watch out for anyone you don't know using that phrase.
'Keystroke hacking' involves a criminal examine your keyboard in minute detail, often with a magnifying glass, to see which keys have the most pizza grease stains on them. It's only a matter of minutes before they've deduced what your password is.
'Shoulder surfing' is another popular hacker trick to find out your password. The criminal pretends to be examining dandruff on your shoulder, but in reality he's watching you type! Always shield your pin, or wear a blouse with huge shoulder pads to obscure their view.
Sometimes a hacker doesn't even need to be in the same room as you to access your data. He can 'infect' your computer with a virus, from distances of up to 12 feet. Popular viruses include worms, Trojans and spywear. Always wipe your screen with disinfectant to protect yourself.
Ransomwear is also a frequent hacker tactic. Instead of stealing your data they lock your computer and charge you several 'bit coins' to unlock it. Fortunately bitcoin looks like chocolate money, so try paying them with that: it's probably worth more now.
I know, traditionally we used to protect our computers by leaving a padlock on the keyboard, telling the hacker that we're wise to their tricks. However modern cyber criminals can by special 'keys' from the internet to unlock these. Nowadays you have to be more vigilant.
So to be safe online:
- Never share your computer with your family.
- Don't open emails if they look interesting.
- Always forget your password.
- If in doubt for God's sake don't click anything!
Hackers normally celebrate their success by doing the 'Hacker Haka', a traditional dance involving stamping of the feet and partitioning of the C drive. So if you don't want to cause their next celebration you'd best heed my #CyberSecurity hints!
The internet is very complex and can easily trap the unwary. So if you're still worried about 'netting' try mastering teletext first, or typing numbers into a calculator: it's much safer than making a big mistake online.

Stay safe everyone...

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More from @PulpLibrarian

Dec 22
Today in pulp I look back at a few forgotten '80s sci-fi movies and ask: is it time to reappraise them?

Spoilers: not all of these are available on Betamax... Image
There were a huge number of mid and low budget sci-fi movies released throughout the '80s, many of which went straight to video. Today they lurk in the far corners of your streaming service.

Should you watch them? Well let me take you through a few you might be tempted by. Image
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Dec 21
"A dream to some. A nightmare to others!" As it's Christmas let's look back at a film that I think helped redefine an old genre, captivated the imagination and launched many successful acting careers.

Let's look at John Boorman's Excalibur! Image
For a long time the film industry found the King Arthur story amusing. Camelot (1967) was a musical comedy; Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975) was pure comedy. Image
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But director John Boorman had been thinking seriously about the Arthurian legend since 1969, particularly Sir Thomas Malory's 1469 telling of the story 'Le Morte d’Arthur'. The mythic theme greatly appealed to him. Image
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Dec 19
Today in pulp I'm looking back at some Michael Moorcock books, and having a think about the New Wave of science fiction that started in the 1960s... Image
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However he started as editor of Tarzan Adventures in 1957, where he introduced Sojan the Swordsman - perhaps his first stab at creating an 'eternal champion' character Image
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Nov 22
Today in pulp I'm looking back at one of the greatest albums of all time.

What are the chances... Image
By 1976 Jeff Wayne was already a successful composer and musician, as well as a producer for David Essex. His next plan was to compose a concept album. Image
War Of The Worlds was already a well known story, notorious due to the Orson Wells radio play production. For Wayne it seemed like a great choice for a rock opera. Image
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Nov 17
Shall we take a look at some classic pinball table backglass art?

I think we should... Image
"Do you like gladiator movies?"

Mars: God of War pinball (Gottleib, 1981) Image
Dr. McCoy has been seriously working out!

Star Trek pinball (Bally, 1979). Image
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Nov 12
Today in pulp I'm looking back at a very popular (and collectable) form of art: Micro Leyendas covers! Image
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The art of Micro Leyendas is bold, macabre and very funny. The books often tell a cautionary tale of revenge or humiliation, much like a modern folk tale. Image
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