But what if I pulled together several of my favorite wangxian headcanons and tropes to create a terrifying Franken-concept.
What then.
Here's the thing: you guys know I am very fond of the idea of kindergarten-teacher!LWJ.
You know I am fond of the idea of a modern!LWJ who would not recognize an A-list celebrity if he ran over them with his car.
You know I am fond of the idea of rock-star!WWX.
Hear me out on this: what if I mashed all these concepts together?
What if LWJ was a kindergarten teacher at a posh school?
What if the principal told him one day, "By the way, you're getting a new student on Monday. Heads up: the kid's dad is kind of famous."
LWJ is like, "OK, sure. I will add another desk and rearrange the seating chart."
He doesn't care about the famous-dad angle, obviously.
It's a rich kid school! Half his students have a father who's a senator, or an aunt who's a model, or a grandfather who's a shipping magnate.
LWJ doesn't care about any of that. He only cares about his students' physical, psychological, and intellectual development.
And he knows better than most that being Raised Rich is not necessarily a guarantee that you're getting all your psycho-emotional needs met.
So that's all he focuses on. He doesn't even bother to google the parents or find out their career background.
The school has airtight security. They know how to deal with stuff like "famous senator got caught having an affair, and now the paparazzi are lingering outside of his son's school."
LWJ lets admin handle that angle of things. He's only focused on teaching spelling and math.
So little A-Yuan shows up, and he's a delight! He settles in nicely and behaves well in the classroom. He seems quite well-adjusted.
He tells LWJ that his dad is a musician, and he draws some pictures of his dad on stage. LWJ nods politely and asks zero follow-up questions.
And then it's time for parent-teacher conferences.
WWX has to smuggle himself into the school, basically wearing a fake wig and Groucho Marx glasses and an unmarked car.
His career is taking OFF, and the paparazzi is becoming and ISSUE.
Again, I cannot emphasize this enough: despite the fact that WWX's face is currently on several magazines and his name is intermittently trending on twitter, LWJ has never heard of this man in his LIFE.
He hasn't heard anything that wasn't classical music or The Wiggles in about ten years. He doesn't have any social media accounts. He doesn't know a goddamn THING about pop culture.
But WWX is just like, "Wow, my son's teacher has an amazing poker face. 🤔"
"He's doing a fantastic job of pretending he doesn't know who I am! Guess that's what you get when you pay for a $30,000/year kindergarten, huh. Stellar discretion and professionalism!"
LWJ gravely informs WWX that his son is doing very well academically. He is well-adjusted and demonstrates age-appropriate social skills. He speaks positively about his family and friends, and he never hits anybody. LWJ has no academic or behavioral concerns.
After fifteen minutes, they shake hands and depart.
...Here's the thing: WWX knows better than to hit on his son's kindergarten teacher! Fame has actually make him incredibly wary of flirting with ANYBODY.
He knows that if he tries to flirt at all, it'll be in tomorrows tabloids.
Also, he doesn't want to make things uncomfortable or awkward for A-Yuan...particularly when A-Yuan WORSHIPS his kindergarten teacher and he's so happy in his new school.
And LWJ would chop off his own arm before flirting with a students' parent, even teacher-parent affairs WEREN'T strictly prohibited by his contract and grounds for immediate dismissal.
So they're both like, "Regrettably, this is the most stunningly beautiful man I have ever seen in my life. I am going to do exactly nothing about it, and remain strictly polite and professional. ✌️"
And then...?
OK, this is a Franken-concept, so I'm shoehorning in my NHS-LWJ friendship agenda too.
NHS calls his bestie up like, "Hey, you useless HOE, why didn't you TELL me that you're teaching Wei Wuxian's kid! Why did I have to find that out from gossip blogs!"
LWJ is like, "My nondisclosure agreements prohibit-"
And NHS is like, "YEAH YEAH I KNOW. But I found out on my own, so now you can tell me if he's really as hot in person as he is in his music videos!"
LWJ is like, "...Music videos?"
NHS, coming to slow horrifying realization that his bestie doesn't even know who WWX is:
He drives over to LWJ's classroom (it's after school and LWJ is preparing for tomorrow's making-a-dinosaur-diorama-activity) and kidnaps him.
Just literally shoves LWJ into his car, drive him home, and makes him watch every bit of media about WWX that NHS can scrape together.
...So. This Wei Wuxian is very famous, as it turns out.
LWJ has taught children of musicians before, but many of those musicians were a bit more...niche.
A songwriter who had composed several popular ballads, but who never appeared in public. A folk singer or classical violinist well-known in certain circles, but hardly a household name. That sort of thing.
Wei Wuxian is...not that. He's properly FAMOUS.
Everyone (as NHS takes pains to express) knows who he is.
He flicks LWJ on the forehead and tells him he's disowned. He has brought shame upon the family by failing to recognize WWX, so he shall be written out of the ancestral record.
LWJ doesn't take that threat seriously. It's not NHS purview to disown him, after all. That would be up to Uncle, and he probably doesn't know who WWX is either.
"That's true," NHS groans. "And THAT should tell you everything you need to know about how out-of-touch you are!"
...NHS's theatrics aside. LWJ is not much concerned with this revelation. It doesn't change anything. It certainly won't alter his treatment of A-Yuan.
He will be more diligent about watching for signs that WWX's fame is causing psychological strain for A-Yuan. But that's it.
As for WWX, he's A-Yuan's father. He's the parent of LWJ's student. Famous or not, that puts him firmly in the camp of "people LWJ is not allowed to even THINK of dating."
So they will continue to have a distant and strictly professional relationship, just like LWJ has with all the parents of his other students.
It will be fine.
(The universe @ LWJ: BITCH U THOUGHT
OK, I will try to come back later and add to this concept.
Fair warning: I am very much flying by the seat of my pants here. What's gonna happen next for these two yahoos? Who knows! Not me!!)
A-Yuan is a happy little camper. Things are running smoothly in LWJ's classroom.
Meanwhile, WWX is hunkered down, recording his next album.
He times his trips around A-Yuan's school breaks. That way, he can take A-Yuan (and WN) with him.
Everything is really going extremely well!
...But sometime around March, A-Yuan understands that he'll only be in Teacher Lan's class for two more months.
Then it'll be summer and there will be no school.
And then (gulp) in the fall, he'll start first grade. He'll be in a completely different classroom, with a completely different teacher!
Needless to say, A-Yuan is inconsolable for two weeks after that revelation.
He really thought he'd get to stay with Teacher Lan forever!
He'd just stay in Teacher Lan's class until he finished school. Then when he was grown up, he'd help Teacher Lan teach the class!
A-Yuan had a LIFE PLAN, okay!
And now he's been told that he'll be ejected from Teacher Lan's class at the end of May.
This is all absolutely unacceptable.
LWJ tries his best to comfort A-Yuan.
He reminds A-Yuan that the kindergarten and first grade students do lots of activities together. They have joint PE and music lessons. They work together for science fairs and school plays.
So he'll still see A-Yuan several days a week.
And he'll always say hello when A-Yuan passes his classroom in the morning. And Teacher Morita is very nice and funny. A-Yuan will like her, too. He'll enjoy his new class once he settles in.
But A-Yuan is just crushed.
He's so upset that LWJ decides to call another parent-teacher conference. He needs to talk to A-Yuan's father about how they can make this upcoming transition a bit easier for A-Yuan.
WWX is already 100% aware of the problem.
A-Yuan has made no secret of the fact that he feels absolutely BETRAYED by the educational system.
How could they have sent him to the wonderful Teacher Lan and let him get attached, only to rip him away once the school year is over?!
A-Yuan is cranky and dejected. WWX hasn't had much luck comforting him, either. So he readily agrees to the conference, hoping that LWJ can help him figure this situation out.
(Yes, a small part of WWX's brain is like, "Haha, what if I just ask this ridiculously beautiful man who my son clearly adores to marry me. What then."
But no. He can't do that, obviously! LWJ is just trying to do his job! Overly-attached kiddos should not be his problem!)
So WWX girds his loins and smuggles himself back into the school, hiding away from the ever-watchful eye of the paparazzi. He sits down with LWJ, and they try to work out why A-Yuan is so upset about all this.
After a few mundane pleasantries about the weather and bland comments about how transitions are always difficult for children, LWJ gets down to business.
"A-Yuan is clearly very upset at the idea of changing classrooms and teachers."
LWJ pauses and clears his throat.
"Has he had...difficulty with the concept of separating from others in past?"
WWX is quiet for a long moment. Then he speaks, and he says exactly what LWJ was hoping he WOULDN'T say.
"Well. You...probably noticed he doesn't talk about his mom much."
LWJ most certainly noticed.
He always notices how his students speak of their families. In particular, he notices the glaring absences that always appear when a child DOESN'T mention a parent.
He's entirely aware that A-Yuan's mother is not an active part of his life.
But LWJ didn't know what that meant. It was possibly that A-Yuan's parents were separated and his mother had moved abroad, started over with a new partner.
It was also possible...
WWX clears his throat a few times. His hands flex, opening and closing around empty air.
"She's, uh. She died when he was about two."
LWJ says nothing. There's nothing he CAN say. Condolences would be absurd, almost offensively trite.
Awkward silence reigns for a few minutes.
WWX scratches his nose.
"We took him to therapy, obviously. And I thought he was doing really well. He doesn't really remember her, but he asks about her sometimes. He doesn't seem too upset that she's not around. I didn't think..."
He trails off into silence again, but he hasn't finished speaking. LWJ has been a teacher long enough to know when a parent has something more to say.
WWX stares at a poster on the wall, the one about hand hygiene.
"It didn't seem like it was something that was weighing on him. You know?"
WWX tilts his head. His eyes are faraway.
"I mean, he's got a million aunts and uncles and cousins. He's got friends. He's got me."
He gives a small, slightly self-deprecating laugh.
"So I thought he was hanging in there! I thought maybe he didn't have any deep-seated trauma. But if he's this upset about saying goodbye to a teacher..."
A note of guilt - of misery - creeps into WWX's voice.
LWJ hastens to reassure him.
"Many children have trouble with the transition between kindergarten and first grade," he says firmly. "It's not uncommon."
Students generally aren't QUITE as upset as A-Yuan. But it can be an overwhelming prospect, even for a well-adjusted child. LWJ knows this.
They always take steps to smooth the transition.
LWJ takes his students to meet their new teacher before the year ends. They inspect the first grade classroom and discuss the new things students will learn in the fall.
They talk about what will stay the same, and what will change.
Many children are comforted to discover that they will use the same bathroom, lunchroom, and play-yard. They are glad to know that their music and PE teachers will remain the same.
A-Yuan may also find comfort in this ritual, and LWJ says so.
But WWX smiles ruefully and shakes his head.
"Ah. It's great that you guys do that for the kids. But the thing is, A-Yuan is really attached to you!"
WWX shrugs. He seems suddenly embarrassed.
"I'm sure that happens all the time. I mean, the kids are supposed to bond with you, right? That's your job!"
He passes a hand over his face.
"But I don't think A-Yuan minds switching rooms or having new classmates. He just doesn't like the idea that Teacher Lan won't always be there."
LWJ is struck dumb. He doesn't quite know what to say to that.
It's very touching. Very moving.
From a professional standpoint, it's also very undesirable. A-Yuan must not become so attached to any teacher that he can't bear to proceed with his education. LWJ cannot encourage that sort of thing.
If this ties into the death of A-Yuan's mother, then perhaps LWJ should speak to the principal and arrange for a psychological evaluation. A-Yuan may need more counseling. He should certainly take this matter seriously.
But privately, he can't help but feel touched.
He cares for all his students, of course. And he tries very hard not to play favorites. A teacher must treat every child equitably and give them equal opportunities. LWJ cannot favor any student over the others.
But he does favor A-Yuan. He would never say so, and he works hard to ensure that the other students don't perceive it. Still, he can't help feeling particularly attached to A-Yuan.
If A-Yuan is so attached to LWJ that he's genuinely upset at the idea of leaving this classroom in the summer, then LWJ is deeply moved.
...Still. He can't indulge his own tender feelings for the boy.
He must think how to ensure that A-Yuan successfully manages this transition.
LWJ can't think of anything just now, aside from the general techniques he uses for the whole class. But WWX seems determined to put a bright face on the matter.
"Ah, well. He'll adjust!"
WWX claps his hands briskly.
"He's a resilient kid. I'm taking him with me when I do my tour this summer, too. He likes traveling, so he'll have fun. I bet he'll be ready for a new adventure by the time we get back."
WWX clearly wishes to believe this, so LWJ does not dissuade him.
A cheerful attitude can only help A-Yuan, after all. If the adults in his life treat this change in a positive manner, A-Yuan will be more likely to do the same.
He nods.
"Who looks after him?" LWJ asks. "During...?"
He's not sure how to finish that sentence. He's not even sure what WWX will be doing when he's 'on tour.'
Performing, obviously. Perhaps meeting with the press, also. There may be other chores that famous musicians also tend to.
NHS would know what these chores are. LWJ does not. But WWX will surely be busy on tour? Someone must look after A-Yuan in the meantime.
WWX gives a crooked smile.
"His mom's cousin. He always tags along with us so he can keep an eye on A-Yuan when I'm..."
He makes a wry, expansive gesture.
LWJ senses that he's supposed to know what that gesture means. He emphatically does not. But he nods anyway.
"I wish you luck on your tour," he says.
That seems like a safe enough remark. It makes WWX laugh.
"Ah, well. Then I'll try not to disappoint Teacher Lan!"
He gives LWJ an impish smile, and seems prepared to say something more.
But the janitor interrupts, knocking on the classroom door.
It's well after hours, and the cleaners need to do their work. LWJ only stayed this late to make it easier for WWX to slip into the school unnoticed. They must not stay any longer, not if it will interfere with the cleaning staff.
WWX thanks him for his generosity in staying late. He promises, too, that he will try to help A-Yuan approach this transition with a more optimistic attitude.
LWJ returns the promise, vowing that he will pay special attention to A-Yuan during the first-grade-classroom tour.
They will speak again closer to the end of the school year. If A-Yuan is still distressed, WWX is prepared to arrange for his son to work with a therapist over the summer.
It should be a wholly satisfactory outcome. It was an unusually productive parent-teacher conference.
But somehow, LWJ still feels dissatisfied.
A-Yuan weighs on his mind as he drives home and prepares his supper. WWX's face intrudes into his musings, too.
LWJ tries to banish such thoughts in favor of grooming his rabbits. But it's no good.
On school nights, LWJ strictly forbids himself screen time during the hour before bed. But tonight, he finds himself opening his laptop, just twenty minutes before bedtime.
Then he does something he has never done before, not for any parent or family.
He types WWX's name into the search bar, and he Googles A-Yuan's father.
(Pausing here! I will try to return in the next day or two with another installment!)
(When last we left our heroes, LWJ had just succumbed to temptation to Google WWX!)
LWJ absolutely hates himself for doing this. It feels like a tremendous invasion of WWX's privacy. Of A-Yuan's privacy too, for that matter!
As a teacher, LWJ has always allowed students to share things with him on their own terms.
If they would like to confide in him, then they are welcome to do so. But if there's something they don't want to discuss with their teacher, LWJ won't pry.
While this is certainly a common practice (Googling people that one knows on a professional basis!) it goes against everything LWJ has always stood for.
But he does it anyway. He finds WWX's Wikipedia page.
Then he scrolls right down to the "personal life and relationships" section.
Naturally, this section mentions a former girlfriend. She and WWX were involved for several years when they were quite young. They had A-Yuan during their last year of college.
She died less than two years later in a freak workplace accident.
LWJ feels an immediate pulse of SOMETHING for A-Yuan. It can't properly be called sympathy. It's too deep for that, too visceral.
Their situations aren't comparable, of course.
LWJ was six years old when his mother died. He remembers her very well. A-Yuan was barely two when his own mother died, and he probably doesn't remember her at all.
But that makes the situation infinitely sadder.
LWJ scrolls further down the page. Then clicks around to biographies on other websites.
He's satisfied to see that A-Yuan isn't mentioned by name. The biographies and fansites merely state that WWX has a young son. There are no further identifying details.
LWJ approves. It's quite clear that WWX has taken pains to protect his son's privacy.
But the biographies mention that A-Yuan's mother was a Wen. LWJ discovers, too, that WWX grew up within the Jiang family.
Somehow, that news takes LWJ by surprise.
He knows the Wens and the Jiangs, of course. They're old, established families like his own.
LWJ has vague memories of being taken to one or two parties as a child. He met some of his uncle's associates from time to time, and he was introduced to various wealthy families.
He knows the Nies quite well.
He knows the Jins better than he would like.
He doesn't recall ever meeting any of the Wens, though. Their reputation soured in recent decades, and they largely withdrew from polite society.
Withdrew, or were sent into quiet exile.
In any case, it's not likely that Uncle ever took his young nephews to any event hosted by the Wens.
But LWJ isn't sure if he was ever taken to the meet the Jiangs.
It isn't impossible.
Uncle was never fond of socializing, and less fond of travel. But sometimes, the wedding or funeral of an old family friend necessitated his presence.
LWJ finds himself scrawling notes on a Post-It, creating a crude timeline.
The websites state that WWX went to live with the Jiangs when he was seven, after his own parents died.
He became Jiang Fengmian's legal ward, and he was raised alongside Jiang Fengmian's children. WWX attended school with his foster siblings.
Afterward, he joined them at their chosen university.
LWJ racks his brains, trying to remember if he ever attended an event with Jiang Fengmian's children. Is it possible that he met WWX, even briefly, as a child?
He doesn't think so.
But the idea that he could have - that their social circles contain that small bit of overlap - is jarring.
It makes WWX seem...too near to him, somehow. LWJ must maintain a professional distance, and this news isn't helping.
LWJ pushes aside his Post-It and tries to refocus his attention on A-Yuan.
WWX was surely joking when he claimed that A-Yuan had a "million" relatives. Yet based on the Wikipedia page, it's not such an overreaction.
Between the Jiangs and the Wens, A-Yuan does appear to have quite a number of people in his extended family.
That's encouraging. Even if he was deprived of his mother, A-Yuan has no shortage of love and support in his life.
There is, LWJ notes, no mention of a significant other on any of the webpages. There are only vague, unsubstantiated rumors that WWX is dating this or that celebrity.
Apart from A-Yuan's mother, the "relationships" section of his biography is entirely bare.
LWJ tries not to feel too pleased with that discovery.
When he can't quite erase his own pleasure, he tries to tell himself that he's only glad for A-Yuan's sake.
After all, WWX is a single parent with a demanding career.
If he had a romantic relationship, perhaps it would jeopardize A-Yuan's well-being. It's surely better for WWX to focus entirely upon his child. A-Yuan deserves that much.
In spite of these justifications, dismay prickles inside LWJ's chest.
If WWX intends to be faithful to his late partner's memory, he must have loved her very dearly. Perhaps he doesn't want another romantic relationship.
Perhaps, having lost the mother of his child at such a tragically young age, he has no intention of ever seeking another partner.
That seems...unfortunate.
It's best for A-Yuan in the short-term, of course. But in time, A-Yuan will grow more independent.
He'll become an adult and move out of his father's home.
It would be tragic if WWX failed to find another patner by the time his son left the nest. Perhaps A-Yuan would feel guilty about moving out and leaving his father all alone? He's a very compassionate, thoughtful child.
It might...be bad for A-Yuan if his father never seeks out another relationship.
LWJ shuts his laptop abruptly, with a punishing click.
He is fooling no one, not even himself. His concern for A-Yuan is quite real and sincere, but it's hardly the only thing on his mind.
He's...considerably more interested in WWX than he should be. And he must find a way to nip that interest in the bud. It would be unprofessional to do otherwise.
And besides. WWX is an exceptionally attractive young man. He's wealthy and famous, surrounded by admirers.
He has a beautiful son, and he's a devoted father. The odds that he will remain unmarried for long are vanishingly slim.
If LWJ nurtures any absurd hopes on that score, it's merely a waste of time and energy.
In all likelihood, WWX is dating someone already and merely taking precautions to keep the matter out of the press.
LWJ spends a few minutes staring that possibility square in the face. Then brushes his teeth vigorously and flosses twice.
He combs his hair a hundred strokes and scrubs his face. He tries to wash away his ridiculous thoughts, as if they're stubborn dust or dirt.
Afterward, he feels marginally more composed.
Of course, WWX already has a partner. It would be absurd to think otherwise.
And that means LWJ must stop thinking of WWX as anything except his student's father.
There is, perhaps, something almost respectable in admiring a young widower, four years into his bereavement.
There is NOTHING respectable about admiring someone else's boyfriend or fiance.
So LWJ crawls into bed and shuts off the light. He determines that he must not think about WWX any longer.
And with that, he closes his eyes and goes to sleep.
(Pausing here for now! Not sure when I'll be able to pick this up again, but hopefully within the next couple of days!)
Oh many. So many of my friends are doing year-end wrap ups that are like, "The only good thing I can say about this dumpster fire year is that I LIVED TO SEE THE END OF IT, BITCH". And that is a mood, right there. 😭
This year tried VERY HARD to unalive at least two of my loved ones, but we all SURVIVED OUT OF SPITE. So there's that, at least.
Now I would like this stinky poo-poo garbage year to get in the bin and go away. Zero stars, would not recommend!! 😘
Also, fandom was like. The only good part of this shitty year for me. So thank you all very much for being here. I'm more grateful than ever for fandom friends, everyone who writes fic and draws art, and just...everybody who shares their passions online for free.
Day is RUINED, I'm not going to be able to think of ANYTHING but yuyu's Pilotji for the REST OF MY LIFE, I am now USELESS!!!
cw bondage
You know what I want, though?
I want pilot LWJ and flight attendant WWX to be doing some sort of anti-terrorism training that requires LWJ to be tied up!!
cw bondage
...I don't think airlines actually do trainings where they practice tying up the pilot to teach everyone what to do in a hijacking scenario but LET'S PRETEND.
Picture WWX bending over a tied-up LWJ, trying to focus on the training, but just going 🥵🥵🥵
I am still in hopes that twitter will be around for at least a SMALL while yet, but if things really are going downhill rapidly enough to warrant a little farewell message:
Thank you so much to all of you for hanging out with me here over the past couple of years!
These have been a super hard couple of years for me, and twitter has been a bright spot.
I've loved chatting with everyone, seeing everyone's art, reading everyone's little headcanons, trading ideas, group threadficcing, etc.
It's been a hell of a lot of fun and you guys mean a lot to me. I'm grateful for all of you, whether we spoke directly or not. 🥺
Still hoping the plane will pull itself out of its current nosedive, but if not, I'll see you guys around on some other site!
I just like to think of WWX seeing LWJ rocking/cuddling his rabbit like it's an infant, and blurting out, "HAHA LAN ZHAN MAYBE WE SHOULD HAVE A REAL BABY TOGETHER JUST KIDDING UNLESS??? 😳'