Elissa 🥮 | yiling laozu apologist Profile picture
Jun 5, 2021 28 tweets 5 min read Read on X
I know it's no longer mermay, but:

imagine siren/merman teen!lwj unsuccessfully hunting teen!wwx and not knowing what the heck to do with this human who has unexpectedly survived despite the odds.

sooo… marriage is clearly the only option left here.
warnings/tags: human-eating, mention of wwx desecrating corpses (although when is that new), maybe bottom!lwj and eggpreg if we're feeling spicy. i will tag on tweets accordingly.
it's lwj's first hunt. he combs the beaches for prey and selects a young boy who seems more careless than the others, always wandering away from his friends.

when he wanders too far into the water, lwj sings out to him—loud enough for the boy to hear, not enough for the others.
it's always a gamble to see what lures potential prey in. most sirens sing of hidden treasures and everlasting youth. others sing of pretty young things for the humans to slake their lust on.

for this boy, lwj sings of endless possibilities and an unknown world to explore.
if a siren picks a wrong song, the human would be more suspicious than curious. they could alert others. the beaches would be little better than deserts, devoid of prey. one must be careful in choosing a song.

this boy doesn't even hesitate to toss himself into the water.
mer!lwj: okay. i must be careful. pick a good song. he seems the adventurous type. if i promise to lead him to lost worlds and sunken cities—

wwx: Y E E T
with the boy entranced, lwj has no difficulties luring him into a rip tide and letting it drag him out to sea. nobody notices the boy's absence.

usually now sirens reveal themselves to their prey to further tantalize them, but this is lwj's first hunt. he stays among the kelp.
tw// cannibalism (?)

lwj lures him on for miles. there is an island far from shore where sirens typically feed. usually their prey tire themselves out and drown before then, and the sirens drag them onto shore to eat without fear of large predators coming to take their prey.
but this boy just

keeps swimming.

he's starting to tire, sure, but he has settled into a nice, even pace of strokes.

lwj is confused. does this usually happen with humans? nonetheless, he continues leading wwx out to sea.
so they swim, and swim, and swim. soon, lwj tells himself. soon, the boy will grow too exhausted to swim. soon, lwj can feed. soon, his hunt will be successful.

but wwx keeps at it, stroke by steady stroke.

lwj is now VERY confused. humans are not aquatic creatures.
perhaps this boy is some special subspecies of human that is semi-adapted to water? lwj can only speculate. nonetheless, the boy seems strong and has very impressive stamina. thankfully it is not the mating season, or else such qualities may draw the attention of other sirens.
sirens can mate with humans. it's a good way to introduce good genes and maintain the mystique of sirens as creatures to be desired. lwj is young. he has not had his first heat. but if he did…

he shakes his head. priorities. his hunger is a more urgent matter. mates can wait.
for hours they swim. for hours the boy remains very much alive and kicking. for hours lwj wonders what the heck he is supposed to do if the boy reaches the island alive.

then they reach the island. lwj stops singing, and the boy drags himself onto shore.

well, then. what now.
lwj cannot kill him now. humans are dangerous, and lwj cannot afford to be wounded. he watches from a safe distance as the boy promptly falls asleep in the sand.

with a harrumph, he dives below to see if he can find a crab or something. he's still hungry.
lwj doesn't return for days, figuring that the human will either die on the island, swim his way back, or be rescued by other humans. when he checks again on a whim, he's surprised to see a whole dwelling area there, precariously built out of the belongings of perished humans.
the boy is sitting in front of a land-bound star, with its heat and light and flickering flames. there are things impaled on sticks over the star.

lwj sniffs the air. he smells fish and the precious fatty oil it contains. he smells crab, and seaweed, and even sea urchin.
the boy has siren food. lwj has had worryingly few siren food the past few days. he swims closer.

the boy's head snaps up. "Hello?" he calls, looking out to the water. "Oh! It's you!"

lwj darts back underwater and swims away.
the next time he visits, the boy has food again. when he sees lwj, he smiles and points at his land-bound star. "You hungry?"

lwj does not know the human tongue, but he does recognizing finger-pointing. he doesn't flee.

the boy stands up and takes a stick of fish with him.
lwj immediately backs away. humans with sticks are dangerous.

"Hey, hey, whoa." wwx holds out his hand. "Okay, okay, uh." he fumbles with the fish, flinching with each touch. "Ouch, it's hot. Do you know what hot is?"

lwj stares at him.

"It's what you are," the boy grins.
lwj looks at his teeth. they look healthy. the boy is healthy.

soon, the smile falls and the teeth are gone from view. "Betcha don't know a word I'm saying, huh," the boy hums as he eases the fish off of the stick and tosses the stick aside. "Here you go." he holds the fish out.
lwj sniffs the air again. food. precious, precious food. but the boy is too far up on the beach. lwj will be vulnerable if he beaches himself.

as if reading his mind, the boy starts wading into the water, fish extended. "Here, pretty," the boy murmurs. "Fish for you."
lwj really is quite hungry. he swims closer, still sniffing.

"You're gorgeous, aren't you," the boy grins again. "Although I bet you're smack dab right in someone's uncanny valley. You look very human. It's freaky."

quickly lwj snatches the fish and swims away with it.
it goes on like that for days. lwj returns to check on the boy, and the boy gives him his star-seared food. each time, lwj's brain unhelpfully reminds him that the boy would make a good mate. he is resourceful, smart, strong, has good teeth, and can provide for his partner.
"You're hungry today," the boy laughs as lwj licks every last bit of fish and grease from his hands. playfully, he tugs on one of lwj's fangs. "Don't you have a family or someone who takes care of you?"

lwj recognizes only the words 'hungry' and 'you'. he chews on fish skin.
the boy calls himself 'wei ying' and perks up when lwj vocalizes his name, his lips forming the words. in return, lwj tells him his own name, and now wwx greets him every time with an excited, "Lan Zhan!"

human voices are rougher, more shrill than siren voices. lwj likes it.
sirens are quick to pick up vocalizations, and a few more days is all it takes for the two of them to start talking.

"Feed," lwj demands when he visits. then, "Thank you," when he receives food. he says it because it makes wwx laugh. and, "Wei Ying," whenever he wants attention.
wwx carries him onto land sometimes to show him around. skeletons poke out the sand, but they don't seem to bother wwx. he proudly shows lwj what he has scavenged from the human remains, including a knife and an old rifle. there is even a boat that wwx is slowly building.
of course wwx must leave the island someday. it is siren feeding ground. if another siren finds wwx here and sees in him what lwj sees, they may try to claim wwx as a mate, and that simply won't do.

still, lwj is reluctant to part with him.

"You can visit me!" wwx tells him.

• • •

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More from @cerbykerby

Nov 20
oh no what if 35 y/o lwj time-travelled back to when he was very little, like maybe 3-4 years old, and his little self mistook him for his father 🥹🥹

((credit to @/nettledaf for the idea of lwj time-travelling))
bby lz is so tiny compared to his grown self. he does his very best to bow properly, as he is told he has to do when greeting his elders, but he is very scared. he knows this man is his father not because he recognizes him, but because no other adult would look so similar to him.
meanwhile hgj is watching this veeeery small child, clearly frightened but trying his best not to show it. he kneels so that he doesn't tower so much over his younger self.

"Who am I?" hgj asks.

lz doesn't meet his gaze. "Fuqin," he answers.
Read 7 tweets
Nov 12
today's dumb thought is not dark-lwj, but more of a grey-lwj: has possessive thoughts and would be totally capable of carrying them out, but keeps getting expertly thwarted at every turn because wwx *knows* his husband.
every time they bump into one of wwx's acquaintances and they start chatting, wwx automatically reaches into his bag and pulls out a brand new bunny plushie that lwj has never seen before.

if wwx knows beforehand that they will be meeting a friend, he brings an actual bunny.
wwx: ah wen ning it is so good to see you again *pats him on the shoulder*

wn: 🥹

lwj: 😡

wwx: *pulls one of their pet rabbits out of his bag and dumps it in lwj's lap*

lwj: ........ WHY DID YOU BRING TOFU??
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Sep 29
today's specific thought is college TA omega lwj getting very annoyed during his discussion sessions because alpha wwx keeps revving his motorcycle and doing wheelies in the parking lot nearby and it's insanely distracting for everyone involved.
yes i know this is very much feeding into bad-boy with leather jacket and motorcycle getting with uptight, proper, prim scholar stereotype, and guESS WHAT I'M GONNA KEEP FEEDING IT
wwx is a college dropout and jc's adopted brother. he often takes his motorcycle to the university to pick jc up after his classes.

and lwj has a very strong dislike for him.
Read 33 tweets
Sep 18
today's thought is archaeologist lwj excavating an ancient tomb that has a shit-ton of protection, warning, and containment seals on it. his colleagues say it's cursed, but he disregards them.

until he lifts the sarcophagus lid and finds red-glowing eyes staring back at him.
lwj:

yllz:

lwj: *closes the sarcophagus lid*
it's nowhere near bedtime, but lwj decides to just go to sleep early. he's certain that whatever he saw was a hallucination and he's overtired.

until he goes back the next day, lifts the sarcophagus lid again, and the man inside says, "I'm still here, kid."
Read 40 tweets
Apr 29
so much omegaxian stuff on my timeline is making me think of an au where omegas need to be claimed immediately after they present because otherwise their pheromones will drive nearby alphas to madness.

of course wwx doesn't present until he's in class at the cloud recesses.
usually there are signs in the years leading up to an omega's presentation, so they have time to arrange a marriage or seclude themselves.

an unclaimed omega's pheromones are dangerous. prolonged exposure can induce insanity in alphas.
in the past, when desperate times called for desperate measures, unclaimed omega pheromones have even been used as weapons during wars to neutralize dangerous enemy targets. for this reason, some of the greatest military strategists in history were betas.
Read 36 tweets
Mar 30
today's thought is lowly palace servant wwx flirting with imperial guard lwj one too many times and then suddenly finding himself being granted marriage to lwj by emperor nmj himself.
lxc is the highest-ranked and most beloved consort in nmj's inner palace. lwj complained about wwx to lxc, who then giggled to nmj about it over tea, who—ever willing to please lxc and thinking that it's about time lwj marries—immediately grants lwj and wwx marriage.
so, from wwx's pov, he was just going about his life as a servant; work is hard, but fulfilling. he hears gossip about the most eligible bachelors with the highest connections, and gets curious about lwj.

ah, but lwj is notorious for being cold, stand-offish, and unsmiling.
Read 166 tweets

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