If publishing is serious about wanting to be a more accessible industry for non-neurotypical people, we should really be talking more about issues like this:
As an agent and as an author, I deal with this on a daily (or actually, more accurately, an hourly) basis. RSD can be distracting, debilitating—even sometimes galvanizing (sometimes in a less-than-healthy way) but it's never a non-issue for a neurodivergent person in publishing.
The thing that makes this topic so relevant to every collaborative/creative industry (IMO) is that "rejection" is a normal AND necessary part of a creator's process. "No" is educational. Creatively-speaking, you CANNOT be everyone's cup of tea. Otherwise, you'd just be...water.
BUT, that doesn't mean it's easy to convince yourself (especially if you're somone with ADHD, PTSD or another type of ND who experiences RSD by nature of your wiring) that rejection is good, actually. No amount of mental gymnastics (or training) can banish those feelings forever.
(Trust me, I have tried "training" myself out of feeling bad when rejection happens; it does not work for long.) And maybe I shouldn't be posting this thread when Mercury is in retro, because I know I'm probably neglecting some semantic qualifiers here, but: Rejection uh, SUCKS.
You can try channeling Kevin Bacon from "Animal House" all you want. You can even be a person (like me) who is in a position to be giving AND taking rejection all day, pretty much every day (there's a switch joke in there, somewhere) but it will never feel less painful. HOWEVER.
If there's one thing I have found to be helpful, so far in my travels through the land of "a pass from one means a pass from all; yes, everyone, even those who never had a chance to reject you directly; the rejection is implied" it's that pain does not always have to become fear.
TL;DR I believe rejection is necessary. I believe there's something we can learn from "no" or even "not yet." I also believe that it sucks. That it's supposed to suck. But fearing a thing does not make it hurt less when it happens. Do NOT reject yourself preemptively out of fear.

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More from @VeroniKaboom

14 Dec 20
To every author querying in 2020, please know that queries are often the first thing to fall off the Must Do List when everything is in crisis and our current client list needs us. Also, every agent I know is aware of this and feels SUPER guilty about it. Please remember this:
1. In publishing, whether you’re waiting on an agent or an editor, no news most often = no news. Not necessarily bad news. If you see an agent or editor doing other stuff than emailing you back, that doesn’t mean we’re ignoring you. It means we’re people who can’t work 24/7/365.
2. That said, it’s okay to follow up. It’s expected. My clients check in with me, and I check in with them. When things get chaotic, I sincerely appreciate authors who reach out and remind me that it’s Thursday and not Tuesday. Some days, I feel like Google Calendar IS my brain.
Read 5 tweets
12 Dec 20
I just realized that all of my favorite RomComs are the ones where MCs realize they’d rather be with someone they can be silly/fun with, and who cares enough to listen to their weird rants. So far I’m really liking #Holidate for this reason.
It’s the silly little things, I guess
Get u a partner who helps you with your problems, even if they do it kinda badly
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