Thread by @rosselle

A kwentong barbero thread (deals w/ gender dysphoria, gender identity)



I have never gotten a haircut from a barber in all of 31 years—that is, until today. Why is this significant to me? I have always seen barber shops as exclusive male spaces.

I even flinched and hesitated upon seeing a “men’s haircut” poster, feeling the weight of the anxiety I carried for 31 years about how I identified. I paused, thinking if I betrayed a part of myself by even approaching the entrance.

Every time I got a haircut in the past in a salon, there would always be an uncomfortable reminder that I need to toe the line and still perform femininity. Haircuts, to me, are exercises of utility: I always just needed trims.

I always hated that moment after getting blowdried. My hair (which was then still long) was always styled to have soft layers, be bouncy and have volume. This is why I always timed haircuts before going home: I made sure no one would see the blowdried look.

I would always rinse my hair once I got home, as if cleansing myself of something I know feels foreign.

The way I styled my hair was, for the most part, a source of my dysphoria: I cannot claim to be happy with the way I looked.

And so when I chopped off my hair more than a month ago, it was a deliberate coming into terms with how I identify.

When I stepped into that barber shop today, I knew I was making a decision that honored my ongoing process of finding more about my identity.

Today, I entered a space that I saw men treat as sacred. The ordinariness of it all somehow felt special to me. Today, I claimed a space I know I can be comfortable in. I reclaimed a part of me I tried to hide all along.

Happy #Pride2021