The slides are marked "Amazon Confidential" but are freely available and advertised for download on the re:Invent website. This is about as public as it gets.
Also, I do have a potential conflict of interest here; I also accept money for sponsorships (details at lastweekinaws.com/sponsorship/), so in some ways this is me trashing a competitor. It's not a huge deal and I'm amusing about it, but it's important to me to disclaim that.
Now then! This is two weeks of tomfoolery; one week in person, two weeks virtual. There are oh so very many sponsorship opportunities to be had.
Unlike in previous years, "how many people will attend" is conspicuously absent. 99% of attendees will be from the US. I'm hard pressed to identify company types other than the four they list.
The Emerald packages are $550K. The standing-room-only Showcase kiosk packages are $35K. The others are in between.
But where it really gets interesting / ridiculous is the add-on pricing. First, you have to buy one of the packages above first; they are not inexpensive. Then let's say you want to rent out a restaurant for an evening. BRING MONEY!
"Build a hands-on challenge that utilizes the Sponsor's technology" means "you can safely skip the AWS Jams at re:Invent; they'll be thinly disguised sales pitches."
(I'm *militant* about disclosing sponsorships; this feels slimy.)
"Give a 15 minute talk on the expo floor for $20K" is surprisingly reasonable. I'd love to get one of them myself to deliver my annual Keynote Rebuttal, but I'm not eligible.
"Why not?" you might reasonably wonder.
1. You must be a registered partner to sponsor. 2. @awscloud event sponsorships include a non-disparagement clause:
And it turns out that AWS Legal doesn't like clarifying questions. "Is it still okay to disparage your executives?" for instance.
@awscloud hates competition, and you're not allowed to make them look bad at re:Invent when they're busy making themselves look bad.
For $225K you can put your logo up at the start of the CEO keynote.
For $225K I fully expect @aselipsky to deliver the keynote dressed as Billie the Platypus.
For $50K they'll put your logo all over a hotel. For $85K they'll put your logo on a hotel keycard.
Y'know, if you have too much money in your marketing budget, we can talk about that instead of you just lighting it on fire...
But let's say you want to sponsor virtually instead and haven't been hit with the Sarcastic Money Stick of Venture Capital. What then?
Virtual sponsorships, of course. At the last re:Invent, the only publicity the virtual expo got was my Nature Walk. @awscloud should buy one!
$15K gets you a "brand awareness package," as demonstrated by someone with no market awareness who thinks that this is a compelling example of such a thing.
A great question. MDF is "marketing development funds" that AWS kicks over to partners for use on marketing. I know this because partners periodically use it to buy my sponsorships.
Additionally, @awscloud themselves are one of my best sponsors.
I'm at the AWS Summit in NYC, where I believe that nicknames are for friends--and Gennifer Artificial Intelligence is no friend of mine.
Good morning.
Thirsty much?
A game / challenge at the AWS Startups booth: how long can an AWS employee go without mentioning GenAI? Someone just made it all the way to one minute, ten seconds!
Okay. Let's do Networking Specialty. Practice question 1:
Correct answer is B.
"Wrong!" says the answer key, "it's B because network load balancers don't support client IP preservation."
Except that they do. They absolutely do. They have for the past year. I'm just a boy, standing in front of an AWS Cert team, asking them to do their damn jobs.
Today's cloud marketing story is called "The Tale of Hot Rebecca," and is a truthful recounting of dinner last night.
Strap in; it's a fun ride.
Back in my early 20s, I had a number of friends / acquaintances in my (primarily Jewish) social circle named "Rebecca." It was kind of a problem.
("Can't we spray for them?"
"…not since the 1940s.")
So every Rebecca got an adjective, much like the seven dwarves. One of them asked me once what her adjective was, and I responded in a fit of unadulterated honesty, "you're Hot Rebecca" because honestly? Damn.
Made it to the #GoogleCloudNext keynote seating finally. Let's see how this goes now that the world is starting to wake up to a "much of the AI hype is unwarranted" reality.
Boeing: "HOW ARE THEY DOING IT?!"
Airbus: "We bought a torque wrench?"
Boeing: "No, how are you being a featured customer testimonial at #GoogleCloudNext?"
Airbus: "Oh, that? We made a strategic decision to not be walking poster children for corporate negligence."
And now, some DevOps / SRE / Sysadmin / Ops / ENOUGH already tips I learned from early in my career--brought to us by our friends at Chex™ Mix. All of these are great ideas that you should implement immediately...
DNS is notoriously unreliable, so use configuration management to sync all of the servers' /etc/hosts files. Boom, no more single point of failure.
Future-proofing is an early optimization, so don't do it. Every network should be a /24 because that's how developers think. I mean come on, what are the odds you'll ever have more than 253 hosts in a network?
And the Amazon earnings are out for Q4. A miss on @awscloud revenue by $20 million because analysts didn't expect one of you to turn off a single Managed NAT Gateway.
Let's explore deeper into their press release.
For 2023, AWS sold $90.8 billion of services, most of which were oversized EC2 instances because you all refuse to believe Compute Optimizer when it tells you there are savings to be had if you're just a smidgen more reasonable.
Word frequency in the earnings release:
Customer: 87
Employee: 11
Generative: 16
Cloud: 24
Serverless: 3
DynamoDB: 2
Union: 0