Thread by @LeeOSanderlin

I am coming to you live from a Brandon, Mississippi Waffle House. I, a total loser, came in last place in my fantasy football league. As punishment, I spend 24 hours in a Waffle House. Every waffle I eat shaves an hour off the clock. It’s 4:07 Central.

I got some books, some magazines and some podcasts. And two waffles to start.

Figured I’d enjoy the first 2

2 down. That means two hours down. 21.37 hours left roughly. Already my stomach is rumbling. Gonna be a long one.

The staff does not believe me that I’ll be here that long... little do they know

The cook this evening is telling me about the time he got shot in the chest — and also that he really likes working here. Anyways, ordering 2 more and getting on with it

1:10 into it. Two more waffles and one human who is dead on the inside

Four waffles down. Been here for 1.5 hours, so that means I have 18.5 to go. I am already in immense discomfort. Please, somebody, launch me into the sun

Two children, can’t be older than 6, are up at the touch tunes. Absolutely jazzed to hear whatever bangers they picked out as soon as Enter Sandman finishes

AND IT’S EYE OF THE TIGER HELL YEAH LETS GET ANOTHER WAFFLE

And now it’s Hotel California. How fitting. I can check out any time I want, but I can never leave (yes I can in 17 hours)

Per my league commissioner, I am allowed to sit in the parking lot and also if I puke it won’t count against me. This won’t recalibrate the strategy tho

N.C. State’s fight song just played in this Mississippi Waffle House — Wolfpack nation what are you doing here

waffle number 5. Just hit the 2,000 calorie mark and feeling grrrrrreat

I saved three weeks worth of @ShutdownFullcas for this. Feel like there needs to be a Waffle House Disasters episode

Officially stuck in neutral. Need to find that extra gear and push through this waffle. Ts & Ps please

7:07 CT. 3 hours, 4.75 waffles down. So many hours to go

Found that extra something and polished off waffle 5. That’s 5 hours shaved off and an incredible amount of agony for my intestines. 16 hours to go

Gonna take 45 minutes and let the body rest before attacking that crucial 6th waffle

Meanwhile, in the outside world

Mr. Chillups sir with your support I’m gonna order that 6th waffle

https://twitter.com/edsbs/status/1405687851250077696

Waffle number 6 and I’m eagerly staring into the abyss, hoping for it all to end. Also, 4 hours down now

Y’all they’re going down like cement now, and the heart is beating real heavy-like. I’m the only non-employee in here. Got half of waffle 6 left and so many hours.

Damn this 6th waffle is not going down. Got my first shift change here and homies are getting a good tip. Lookin’ to rally here

I found my roster from like week 8 or whatever. Just not good. Also, I am definitely puking soon

I let part of the waffle get cold and it is 4 million times harder to eat this way. And Wagon Wheel is playing. This is probably the purgatory period of the evening. Also, everyone asking about Venmo: Donate to your favorite local charity and make an impact in your town

Obviously, that’s why I’m going on hour 6 in a waffle house my man. If I could finish this cold, concrete ass waffle I could shave an hour off

https://twitter.com/six8jay/status/1405718562635931648

SIX HOURS DOWN: I am still on waffle 6. I think a trip to the parking lot for a little puke and rally is in order

LETS GO! Waffle no. 6 has been consumed. And the music came back on. 12 hours to go!!!!!

Quick little trip to the bushes outside if you know what I’m saying. Now, back into the breach

Hello. It is hour 7. Where we stand: 6 waffles consumed. 11 hours remain. Insides are in shambles, but two kind Mississippians came in and gave me some Rolaids. Shoutout those people. Yr boy is in PAIN

LMFAO’s Party Rock is blaring and I have ordered my 7th waffle. My editor @marlonawalker is here to show support and it’s time to lay this bad boy down and get movin!

Quitters never win and winners never quit

Hahaha remember when I ordered a 7th waffle? Full crash and burn. Not gonna finish it. My body is in revolt/shutting down. It’s time to sit out for a while. Gotta rest up for the stretch run. Right now I’m on pace to leave 10:07 a.m. CT.

Full of waffles but devoid of life

Gonna ride the next few hours out from the comforts of the parking lot because my phone needs to charge. I’ll a#let everyone know when I get back on the horse — hoping to make a strong push around 6:30 to get this thing in the house

What’s up: back from my brief stint getting some phone juice. Got some coffee in an effort to get ~ t h i n g s ~ moving. Sorry to the haters who thought I’d spend the night sleeping

“I’ve got my taser in my back pocket,” is good information to know about your fellow diners.

We’ve entered peak boredom hours. All the staff went out for their smoke breaks. This Waffle House doesn’t feel like a waffle home with no one here

The good news: I’m 10 hours and 6 waffles down. The bad news: I’m scheduled for 8 more hours, and I have no idea how I’ll eat another waffle, let alone the remnants of no. 7 that have been staring me in the face for 3 hours now

Waffle 7 was easily the worst tasting one but I finally put it down. Maybe it’ll come back up soon. Who can say, 7ish hours to go

Enjoying another cup of coffee, trying to make some room. Beyond the utter and total discomfort I feel, Waffle House is pretty peaceful right now. Kind of zen. Not touching no. 8 for at least an hour

6 hours to go. Deep into the doldrums of the night now

It’s 4:07 a.m., I have 5 hours to go and I’m out of @ShutdownFullcas episodes and the crossword I was doing is meh at best. At 6, I’m gonna order two (2) waffles and try and get them down. That would bring me up 9 and get me out of here by 7.

Ok, I have four hours left. Again, the plan here is to order two waffles at 6 am CT and get out of here at 7. That would be 9 waffles and an amount of calories I don’t want to think about

Miley Cyrus’ The Climb is playing in this Waffle House and I think it’s time to try and put down those last 2 waffles and go home. This was real. At times it was fun. But, it was never really fun.

Let’s do it

I can report progress. One waffle down. That makes 8. 1 to go then we’re just running clock until 7 am. This is NOT enjoyable

All that stands between me and going home in the next 30 minutes. So damn close.

WHO LOGGED INTO THE TOUCH TUNES TO PLAY HOMEWARD BOUND?

https://twitter.com/LeeOSanderlin/status/1405849497855565826

The sun is rising, it’s a new day and I’m never eating waffles again. That’s 9 waffles and 15 hours in this restaurant. S/o to the staff for letting me hang out on a slow night (I tipped them well don’t worry). This was horrible and I recommend no one ever do this.

And we’re out

If you're still here and you live or work in Mississippi, consider throwing a couple of dollars toward a digital subscription to the @clarionledger so you can help support our newsroom do quality journalism like this story published yesterday

https://twitter.com/LeeOSanderlin/status/1405501175831707648?s=20