Thread by @kunley_drukpa

See many young men today are concerned with BALDNESS. With their hair falling out and becoming a BALDCEL. If this happens to you then yes, it’s LITERALLY OVER unfortunately. I have great hair myself but for you there is a cure that exists amongst Pygmies in deep Congo (me below)

First heard about this whilst overseeing a bit of commissioned work for China Molybdenum 中国钼业, a big cobalt mining company, out of Lubumbashi, southern DRC. Glencore is the big Anglo-Swiss one that used to have a monopoly, but now cobalt mining in the DRC is 70% Chinese.

The bulk of the operations are based out of Lubumbashi in Katanga, but also across the border in Zambia out of Kitwe and Ndola (much more civilised - Zambians often joke about the prevalence of mental illness amongst the Congolese, whom they view as backwards and unsophisticated)

Anyway, in Northern Part of Congo is city called Kisangani. I was there to get parts for contractors, bribe venal officials etc. Kisangani is located on the scenic, malaria-infested Congo River. Great place to depart from for riverboat cruises if you are so inclined, which I was.

I hear many POWERFUL stories of PYGMIES that live deep in jungle. So I go investigate w/ good Russian friend. We travelled maybe 8 days by steamboat to encampment closer to town, maybe you don’t know it, it’s called Bula. From there we trek into jungle 3 days. Find small village.

In this Pygmy village there is wise sangoma (shaman) called Ilunga. He catches blind barb fish from Congo river basin. These fish when ground into paste can be used to create very powerful elixir used for many things: have visions of ancestors, solution for impotency, hair loss..

Oral history say nobody went bald in this Pygmy village bc of blind fish elixir. My Russian friend who was balding tried it. Now he has full head of hair, took much elixir back to Moscow with him. My advice to balding young men! Find this shaman Ilunga or you will NEVER get laid!