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shauna Profile picture
@goldengateblond
Jul 2, 2021 • 4 tweets • 1 min read • Read on X
what’s the worst thing you’ve seen at a wedding that told you the marriage wouldn’t last, mine was when the bride dedicated “every breath you take” to the groom
seriously so good
hundreds of amazingly hilarious and/or awful wedding stories today but I think this one is my favorite 😂
every single story is a gem ❤️

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More from @goldengateblond

shauna Profile picture
Apr 22, 2023
somewhere he's screaming at an underling PUT IT BACK PUT IT BACK while becoming the literal corn cob meme in front of everyone ImageImageImage
this is how twitter ends. not with a bang, but with an idiot chasing dril and throwing checkmarks at him as yakety sax plays at 2x speed.
yeah he thinks it'll blunt the whole "block the blue" thing 🤦‍♀️
Read 4 tweets
shauna Profile picture
Feb 4, 2023
them: “i don’t know why you’re still on twitter”
me:
yes I’m sure my parents WOULD be proud I cackle at JD Vance holding a giant dick
if you wanna dish, I wouldn’t be mad
Read 4 tweets
shauna Profile picture
Apr 21, 2022
when I was 5, my single mom and I lived with a lesbian couple for a bit. "sometimes girls like other girls," my mom explained. I thought this was *amazing* and immediately made two of my Barbies a power couple.
later, I met one of my mom's friends. he wore a black cape and when he dramatically swept it open, the inside had big hot-pink satin letters that spelled out BITCH.

"sometimes boys like other boys," my mom explained. I didn't care. I just wanted one of those capes.
in high school, I left cheerleading to join the drama club. "they're just more fun," I explained.

when a friend came out to me and nervously asked if I was ok with it, I hugged him and said "of course." I couldn't imagine why anyone wouldn't be.
Read 6 tweets
shauna Profile picture
Feb 13, 2021
👀
“Mr Hawley ... not guilty” is the biggest lie of all
Murkowski, Sasse, and Romney also vote guilty. this may be a shitshow but it’s the most bipartisan conviction vote in US history.
Read 4 tweets
shauna Profile picture
Feb 13, 2021
jesus christ we are so bad at this
the wind up and the balk were worse than doing nothing. now we’ve lost the narrative too.
thank you to @RepRaskin and the other House managers for doing THEIR job masterfully well at least
Read 6 tweets
shauna Profile picture
Aug 14, 2020
I use @make5calls:

📪 go to 5calls.org, enter your zip code

📫 pick “Demand the Federal Government Support the United States Postal Service”

📬 use the script & contact info provided to call your reps

📭 shy? call after hours! voicemails count like regular calls!
I filed a complaint with the USPS Office of the Inspector General, join me! uspsoig.gov/form/file-onli…
for everyone in blue states asking if they should still call 👇
Read 4 tweets

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