Thread by @naomi_jacobs

Happy #DisabilityPrideMonth. A thread about pride stolen & reclaiming it.

When I discovered the social model of disability, I didn’t ‘look’ like your (prob inaccurate) image of a disabled person. I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety. The social model made sense. (1/15)

I wasn’t broken. Society was. Square peg, round hole. It’s that simple. It’s also more complicated. Disability is many things. Remembering the simple truth helped me get through days full of exclusion & ableism. The social model gave me back my eroded pride in who I am. (2/15)

When I was diagnosed w/ Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome & began to use sticks/scooter/wheelchair (PT), the philosophy that *I am not broken* - but society is - helped me hold onto my self worth despite ableism & exclusion. Still proud. (3/15)

When I was diagnosed autistic & everything about my life started to make sense in retrospect, the social model fitted perfectly with the concept of neurodiversity. I am *still* not broken. I don’t fit society because it’s not designed for me. I’m proud to be a square peg. (4/15)

Exclusion and ableism led to pain. Led to burnout - under intense stress and social strain to fit my square self into a round hole, all my coping mechanisms fell apart. That’s why I have more meltdowns & distress, why I can’t force myself to ‘act NT’ anymore. Still proud! (5/15)

I can’t work anymore - every job means trying to fit square self into round holes & cumulative stress of that. I don’t know if I’ll ever hold down another paid job. I hold onto the truth that this is not because I’m broken. Still proud of who I am & what I’ve achieved. (6/15)

I’m more privileged than most disabled people, in so many ways, but the state has abandoned me - that’s social exclusion, too. I remember my quality of life when I had care from my council, before they said I’d have to pay £400 a week for it. I miss that. Still proud. (7/15)

Medical services don’t know what to do with me. Doctors keep trying to make me more like everyone else. To fit the square peg into the round hole. It will be easier for you, they say. It would be easier if society put in square holes, I think. I stay quiet. Still proud. (8/15)

One example of exclusion & ableism. The institutional ableism in the church has caused me a lot of trauma. And I’m not the only one. I’ve made it my life’s work to talk about it and shine a light on it, with my wonderful community, but some days I’m too tired. Still proud. (9/15)

A small example of how disablism isolates- esp in lonely 2020/1. I’m not taken seriously when I say remote real-time communication can mean intense stress & pain. Esp multi-person video calls without accessibility measures. After one yesterday, I’m exhausted. Still proud. (10/15)

Some days I wake up & think “I can’t do it. I can’t go out, deal with the stares, argue my way onto the bus, have to persuade people I’m ‘disabled enough’ to use ‘accessible’ facilities, realise every shop has a step up to it and go home…” Still proud. (11/15)

There are no easy answers, when you’re a square peg & all the holes are still round. I’m currently trying medication for ADHD. It means I want some support with the effects of burnout. Just like my wheelchair helps me get around. It doesn’t mean I’m not proud of who I am. (12/15)

I wish this thread was more positive. Disability means wonderful things. Community, support, new philosophies we’ve built together (neurodiversity, social model), new experiences, new outlooks. But exclusion hurts. And silence helps no one. Still proud. (13/15)

If you’re a round peg & fit round holes - if you can work, can do most things in your community, can get into shops, can go to church, can get on a train, can live your life w/o being denied support…learn about the social model & disabled community. They’re why I’m proud.(14/15)

This month/every month, I hope you’ll work not to put barriers in the way of disabled people. The inevitable conclusion of “yay, I’m not broken!” is “…why is society?” Until we fit, pride will be hard won, too often out of reach. Let’s fix what’s broken. (Still proud.) (15/15)