Thread by @mathiasverraes

I'm reviewing submissions for a conference I'm somewhat involved it, so here's some advice. 1/n

If the number of years you've been a programmer really is the most interesting fact about you, then by all means, open your bio with that. For everybody else, make your bio about the good stuff. 2/n

"X can be challenging. In this talk, we'll look at some [techniques|patterns|approaches] to deal with X." -> Tells us something about those approaches, because if you don't, it's hard to evaluate if it's going to be worth watching. 3/n

Teasers are for movies. If you are worried about spoiling the secret in a two paragraph abstract, maybe it wasn't interesting enough to begin with? For everybody with good ideas, tell your audience what they are in the abstract. 4/n

"We'll use X to implement an example" -> Unless X can be assumed to be widely known, add a few words about what X is. "We'll use X (a Java framework for doing foo) to implement..." 5/n

Your audience includes people who have been doing the thing you're talking about for 5 years longer than you. They want to know if they're going to learn some radical new insights or an introduction to the basics. You do them a service by helping them evaluate that. 6/n

The goal of your abstract is not to draw in as many people as possible. It's to draw in the people who need and _filter out_ the ones who don't. (Also, you'll get better reviews.) 7/n

Storytelling! I'm looking at a submission about scaling an NGO's system to help a 100s of millions of people, but it explains the context of the problem it's solving beautifully. Instead win. 8/n

*instant win

I can sometimes tell from the abstract that the submitter only knows one programming language. Often, something that is hard or new in your tech stack was long solved in others. If you submit to a general conf, look around at other communities first. 9/n

Your abstract and bio are not the only thing I look at btw. I have this little website called google where I can find your blog and videos, so it helps if you have stuff out there. 10/n

Speaking of blogs, often I read a 2 paragraph abstract, and have no clue what it's about. Then I read your 4 paragraph blog post, and it's all very clear. Abstracts shouldn't be mysterious puzzles. 11/n

(Side note, I've sinned against all these myself 🙃)

Read your own abstract out loud. It's one of the best general writing advices I've ever gotten. If I had done that with this thread, I wouldn't have made so many typos either. 12/n

Expose your ideas to daylight. A conference shouldn't be the first place you ever talk about this. Explain your stuff in 1 on 1s, to your team, at a meetup... 13/n

If you're going to pitch your product or company, at least be honest about it. Covert pitches give your brand a bad reputation. Also, many conferences accept pitches, but it's called sponsoring. 14/n

Personally, I think that a 1 minute pitch at the start or end of a 45 minute talk is perfectly fine. More than that, or pitches in the middle of a talk, are annoying unless the program indicated that it was a sponsored session. 15/n

Remember that definitions often make more sense _after_ you've explained the concept to an audience, not before. That's more of a teaching advice, but in any case, don't open your abstract with "Wikipedia defines X as..." because your audience can read Wikipedia without you. 16/n

If you're submitting a talk because you're against something, because it makes you angry, because everybody is wrong but you: your idea may be valid, but it's not very attractive. Sleep on it, find a brighter angle, rewrite. 17/n

If your premise is based on the fact that *everybody* does things a certain way, (and you don't explain how you *know* that everybody does that), then I assume you're talking about this one annoying colleague you had in your previous job. 18/n

A lot of my advice is also simply about clarity. Take the readers' POV. "X is hard but with this talk I will make it easy", maybe explain what is hard about it and what your approach will be. 19/n

I think you're all overly worried about "spoiling the talk". Again, if an abstract spoils it, it wasn't worth a whole talk anyway. Tell us the ending, the solution, the secret, the idea you want to convince us off, right there in the abstract. The talk is for explaining it. 20/21

Thanks for reading my rant. I don't have a soundcloud but I live on a planet worth saving, and you can help by choosing better leaders, by holding them accountable (even and especially if it's one you chose), by changing what you buy and what you do. 21/21