Welcome to #TransTuesday! It’s time once again to continue our examination of that magnificent trans allegory, THE MATRIX (part 4). This one’s about the heart, and how it always knows. Previous parts contain some foundational stuff you’ll need. Part 1:
https://twitter.com/TillyBridges/status/1404881655525826561
1:06:49 - Mouse, voicing a realization I think all trans people come to. “To deny our own impulses is to deny the very thing that makes us human.” To not transition and live in our simulacra isn’t really living at all. It’s not us, and it’s a cold shadow of life. 
1:08:00 - Let’s talk briefly about Switch. A small role that doesn’t factor much in to the trans allegory… until you realize the character was SUPPOSED TO BE TRANS. Switch was going to be one gender in the matrix, a different one outside it. You can see them here, in all white.
In an earlier scene, while in the matrix, this is what Switch looked like. Why, that almost looks like… chest binding.
For more info on binding/tucking, see this thread:
https://twitter.com/TillyBridges/status/1399791781454118912
Switch was not allowed to officially be out as trans in the movie, but I think they still coded it in. Not only because of the “binder” but look at the image of them in the white suit. The shirt underneath is nude, almost to make you think their chest was bare.
The movie about trans people, written and directed by trans people, wasn’t allowed to have a trans character even in a minor supporting role. I’ll direct you back to Morpheus’s line:
“...they are the gatekeepers. They are guarding all the doors, they are holding all the keys. Which means that sooner or later someone is going to have to fight them.” Hits a little different now, doesn’t it?
This movie is LITERALLY FIGHTING THOSE GATEKEEPERS… who it made a fuckton of money for.
1:08:10 - Neo’s first time back in the matrix, during the car ride, his reflection in the window is clear. Whole, but… incomplete. He’s on his way, but has a ways to go.
1:08:36 - Neo: “I have these memories from my life… none of them happened. What does that mean?” Trinity: “That the matrix cannot tell you who you are.” Again reference my thread on THE PAST and how it fucks with us.
https://twitter.com/TillyBridges/status/1359226490571747329
1:09:45 - Morpheus says the Oracle has “been with us since the beginning.” Surviving and thriving in spite of the matrix. Morpheus: “Try not to think of it in terms of right and wrong. She is a guide, she can help you to find the path.”
Remember from part 1 that my read on the Oracle is that she’s Neo’s heart. She knows the truth, she knows what he wants, and she knows what’s best for him. And she knows that all of those things aren’t always in harmony.
1:10:38 - Morpheus reminds Neo he can only show him the door, but Neo must walk through on his own. Unsure about confronting his future, we see a reflection of Neo in the doorknob, whole but once again warped and distorted.
He’s not sure if this is really the right path, or what he’s going to find on the other side. Even after beginning to transition, even after starting HRT, I still had lingering doubts. One thing that plagues a lot of trans people is this question of “am I trans ENOUGH.”
Like… maybe my dysphoria isn’t as bad as that person’s is, so what right do I have to transition? What right do I have to go on hormones when so many others have it so much worse and need it so much more? THEY’RE really trans, I’m not.
Fuckin’ Cypher, man. The doubt takes many forms.
1:11:07 - Notice how many things in the Oracle’s apartment are reflective. Everything about her is helping you to try and see your true self. Also more red than we’ve seen anywhere else, including in the lobby on the way up. (If anyone knows what that book says, please tell me!)
1:11:31 - When the kid bends the spoon with his mind, Neo again sees his reflection, whole but not quite as distorted as in the doorknob. This kid is actualized, can live and move within the matrix. Make the matrix work for him.
And it makes Neo feel even more unsure that he could ever be like that. Even now I see trans ladies out there, being stunning and present and gorgeous, and I often feel like I’ll never, ever get there. I may not. Neo may not. We have to choose to do it anyway.
The boy offers the spoon to Neo, and tells him trying to bend the spoon is impossible. Neo has to realize the truth, “There is no spoon.” The way to his own self-actualization lies in realizing everything the matrix (the cis status quo) has told you is a lie. It doesn’t exist.
You’re not just assigned male or female at birth and have to live with it forever. You have to realize that before you can become your true self. “Then you’ll see that it isn’t the spoon that bends, it is only yourself.” WE have to be the change/make the change to be who we want.
Neo can bend the spoon. He’s starting to get it, but it’s turning his world upside down, as we see in the reflected image on the spoon.
1:14:13 - The Oracle knows everything about Neo, the sign over her kitchen door is Latin: “know thyself.” The heart always knows. Oracle: “Being ‘the one’ is a little like being in love. No one can tell you you’re in love, you just know it, through and through. Balls to bones.”
I mentioned in previous parts that I’d talk about “the one,” and this is the spot for it. While on the surface level this seems like another “chosen one” story, about a hero accepting their destiny… this is a little different, and yet not.
‘The one’ is our true self. It’s the true US inside every trans person, longing to get out. And they can’t, they won’t, until you accept that YOU ARE THE ONE. WE ARE ONE AND THE SAME. THE ONE IS ME.
And I guess destiny does play in a bit, because again none of us choose to be transgender. It’s decided for us, by science or the universe or whatever deities you believe in. But accepting that WE are "the one" is what it’s all about. WE are our own saviors.
1:15:21 - Oracle tells him he’s NOT “the one,” because she is his heart and his truth and won’t lie to him. He’s NOT “the one.” YET. She JUST said no one can TELL you you’re the one, so she couldn’t tell him here.
No one can TELL you you’re trans, it’s something you have to figure out for yourself. Sure a lot of people can help you along the way, but ultimately the only one who can know for sure… is you.
So she tells him the only thing he’s ready to hear. “Looks like you’re waiting for something. Your next life maybe, who knows. That’s the way these things go.” The heart also knows the only time you can accept your truth is when you’re ready.
You can’t force it. You can’t accept it earlier than you’re ready to. No one can force it on you, and once you know, no one can stop you from knowing. Your heart will tell you when you’re ready to hear it.
1:15:45 - Oracle: “Morpheus believes in you, Neo. And no one, not you, not even me, can convince him otherwise.” We can’t lie to our subconscious, no matter how much we want to.
Oracle: “You’re going to have to make a choice, in the one hand you’ll have Morpheus’s life, and in the other hand you’ll have your own. One of you is going to die. Which one will be up to you.”
Neo can go on living within the cis matrix and lying to himself, or he can embrace what his subconscious has been telling him and accept the truth of his identity, but he can’t do both. They’re at odds. He has to pick one.
1:17:00 - Oracle: “As soon as you step out that door you’ll start feeling better. You’ll remember you don’t believe in any of this fate crap. You’re in control of your own life, remember?” She’s humoring him here, helping him feel better.
Can’t tell you how many times I said to myself “Nah I’m not trans. I don’t WANT to be and I get to decide.” Except we don’t! We can decide to transition or not. But whether we’re trans or not is entirely out of our hands.
1:21:20 - Cypher, Neo’s doubt, is eating at him. It’s causing damage and threatens his very existence. If he can’t let go of what he knew and become who he needs to be, his world will crumble around him.
1:23:00 - Morpheus dives on the agent to save Neo. The actualization of the self is all that matters to him.
1:23:50 - Morpheus fights Smith, but the subconscious can’t take on society alone, it’s doomed to fail despite its knowledge of the truth.
1:26:18 - Cypher, Neo’s doubt, is in danger of trapping him in the matrix forever. If you let your doubts take over, that’s exactly what can happen. You let it scare you into continuing to uphold the cis status quo.
1:27:42 - Cypher: “I’m tired of this war. I’m tired of fighting.” When you’re tired from the constant onslaught you face as a trans person, it’s so easy to want to give up. To give in. The fight often seems impossible.
1:28:00 - Cypher hops on Morpheus. “Surprise, asshole. I bet you never saw this coming.” Neo’s doubt is about to win out over his subconscious. Cypher: “He lied to us. He tricked us. If you’d have told us the truth, we’d have told you to shove that red pill right up your ass.”
Note that while not in red, Cypher is in red-adjacent. He’s doubt, he’s obscuring the truth, he’s hiding the red under a layer of blue (the pill that’d keep you in the matrix), making his vest look a reddish-purple.
1:29:49 - Cypher: “If Morpheus was right, if Neo’s ‘the one,’ then there’d have to be some kind of a miracle to stop me. Right? I mean how can he be ‘the one’ if he’s dead?” Neo’s doubt is going to kill him.
Cypher wants to know if even now Trinity believes Neo is “the one.” Even when all hope is lost, Neo’s self-actualization will not give up on him. SHE still believes, because she KNOWS. She’s Neo, actualized. He IS “the one.”
1:30:48 - Tank provides the miracle, he’s not dead. The person born to be who he was, the trans community, provides Neo what he needs to overcome his doubt. Cypher can’t believe it. The doubt is subdued.
You’d think that’d be the end of it… but society doesn’t give up easily. We wrap up next week, it’s going to all come together in amazing ways. And it’s going to get very uncomfortable for some of you. Be warned!
Tilly Bridges, end transmission.
Tilly Bridges, end transmission.
The fifth and final part! 👇
https://twitter.com/TillyBridges/status/1415001115360305153
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