Someone on this street is blasting out Bryan Adam's "Everything I Do" on continuous repeat.
I'm as yet unsure as to whether this is the best or worst thing ever.
Oh wait. It's that one he did with Sting and Rod Stewart from the Musketeer film now.
Also on repeat it seems.
I'm honestly not sure how to read this, emotionally.
CHANGE UP.
It's now Bon Jovi, "Dead or Alive"
Which, to be fair, is a belter.
This is a longer song than I remember it as being.
I legit don't mind listening to the opening of Dead or Alive for another *checks notes* three repeats at least. The second half of the song less so.
That fucking opening guitar riff though. Chefs kiss.
BREAKING: We only got two repeats of that. Shocking Twist.
Bon Jovi: Blaze of Glory now.
Fucksake. Put some rubbish out, and next door's kid was coming home.
Looked at me then politely said:
"Um. That's okay old people cowboy music I guess"
Caught me off guard. Didn't realise what he was implying. I just shouted: "WAIT THIS ISN'T FUCKING MINE" At a closed door.
Is there a Moonpig card for "that wasn't my music, kid."?
I don't have the hair for hair rock these days. Surely that should have been obvious to him.
MORE BON JOVI: Livin on a Prayer
Still Prayer.
BONNIE TYLER.
WE HAVE BONNIE TYLER.
Holding out for a Hero.
Second play for Bonnie.
DANGER ZONE!
Danger Zone, unsurprisingly, gets a repeat.
mumbling from over the fence (other neighbour):
"Fuckin hell what is this. I just want to smoke a joint in peace."
Sadly I actually have a meeting in about 5mins, so will have to stop the updates (and shut the patio door).
Should at least have time to discover if Danger Zone is deemed worthy of a third play.
BREAKING: Danger Zone did not get a repeat.
So what's next.
Well.
[big sigh]
[guitar strumming begins]
"We both lie silently still in the dead of the night.
"Although we both lie close together we feel miles apart inside..."
Right. Meeting. Soz.
But I'll leave you with one final nugget. Every Rose has its Thorn DID NOT get a repeat. Instead, as I closed the door, the beginning of a story drifted across the gardens.
A story about a small town girl
Living in a lonely world...
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Let's talk about Simon. Ship's cat for HMS Amethyst. Survivor of the 1949 Yangtse Incident and the only cat ever to be awarded the Dickin Medal, the animal equivalent of the Victoria Cross.
Simon was born on the streets of Hong Kong, most likely sometime in 1947. His early life was spent scavenging for food in the dockyards.
This was how he met 17 year old Ordinary Seaman George Hickinbottom of HMS Amethyst, when the ship stopped there to resupply in early 1948.
Hickinbottom was rather taken with the young malnourished tuxedo kitty, and decided that Amethyst's lack of a ship's cat needed addressing.
To avoid the possibility of disagreement with this plan, Simon was smuggled aboard under his tunic, past the watch.
Boris Johnson's press conferences/committee appearances make a lot more sense once you accept that he will literally say whatever he thinks will get him out of the room quick enough.
There's no grand plan to the shite he spouts in front of a camera or committee.
His staff's sole goal with their briefing notes is to try and channel him into making as few promises, and spouting as little bollocks as possible, before he makes his hasty exit.
It's why he visibly reverts to grumpy eton schoolboy mode the moment a follow up question is asked.
He gave you his hopefully distracting answer already. HOW VERY DARE YOU make him have to try and think of another one, delaying his exit even longer.
Since I seem to be in a tunnels Twitter mood today, here's a picture I grabbed of the Tunnelers' Memorial in France.
It's relatively hard to find, but is near Bethune. /1
It's somewhat obscurely located, because it sits above the place where William Hackett of the 254th Tunnelling Company died, earning a posthumous Victoria Cross.
Hackett was part of a mixed team that were working on a tunnel gallery when a German counter-mine exploded, bringing the tunnel down on the men inside.
After 20 hours of frantic digging, those outside the blast range managed to dig a tiny tunnel through to the trapped survivors.