...I kinda have some weird random LWJ egg-preg thoughts that I want to ramble about, but I also have a ton of work to get through today, so I can't do that.
This feels very cicerphobic. Cockblocked by capitalism! >:(
This feels very cicerphobic. Cockblocked by capitalism! >:(
Okay! I'm back!!
CW for mpreg and eggpreg. Also, this is not really a cohesive threadfic or anything, just a bunch of scrambled (no pun intended!) thoughts.
But! I have been thinking about Dragonji. I have been Thinking About Him.
CW for mpreg and eggpreg. Also, this is not really a cohesive threadfic or anything, just a bunch of scrambled (no pun intended!) thoughts.
But! I have been thinking about Dragonji. I have been Thinking About Him.
There's been lots of Dragonji on my tl lately, so I have been Thinking about how the Lan clan might make babies. And I made the mistake of googling around about reptile reproduction.
(Please don't judge my life choices and how I choose to spend my dwindling time on this planet.)
(Please don't judge my life choices and how I choose to spend my dwindling time on this planet.)
Anyway. I was reminded that some reptiles (like komodo dragons) can reproduce sexually OR asexually.
Like, sometimes they just pop out some eggies and the eggs hatch and someone becomes a mama even if they never mated with anybody.
Like, sometimes they just pop out some eggies and the eggs hatch and someone becomes a mama even if they never mated with anybody.
So there I am, scrolling PubMed, reading the fruit of some scientist's doctoral research.
And I gasp gently.
"What if LWJ eggpreg?" I whisper to myself.
(...I am really very, very sorry. Apologies to hardworking scientists everywhere.)
And I gasp gently.
"What if LWJ eggpreg?" I whisper to myself.
(...I am really very, very sorry. Apologies to hardworking scientists everywhere.)
But I just think. It would be neat. If at some point AFTER the war and AFTER WWX absconds with the Wens. LWJ unexpectedly has some eggs all by himself.
And the rest of the Lan clan is just like
And the rest of the Lan clan is just like
Because yeah, it's POSSIBLE. But it's RARE. And the resulting eggs are almost never viable.
And anyway it usually only happens after someone's mate DIES or something. This doesn't usually happen to unmated dragons. What could have prompted this to happen?
And anyway it usually only happens after someone's mate DIES or something. This doesn't usually happen to unmated dragons. What could have prompted this to happen?
LXC, being questioned by the sect elders about why his little brother apparently has baby fever:
He KNOWS, obviously. But he's not gonna narc on poor Wangji and his desperate, seething crush on WWX.
So he's probably like, "...Can we ever know why things happen? :) This world has many arcane mysteries, even for gifted cultivators and dragons. :) *flute solo*"
So he's probably like, "...Can we ever know why things happen? :) This world has many arcane mysteries, even for gifted cultivators and dragons. :) *flute solo*"
Anyway. I'm thinking that the physicians are initially like, "Welp. These eggs are almost certainly nonviable. HGJ is unmated and too young, and this is likely just an anomaly. We should simply discard the-"
And then HGJ nearly mauls three separate physicians to death.
And then HGJ nearly mauls three separate physicians to death.
He's going to NEST with his EGGS until they HATCH and WWX comes to HELP RAISE THEM. >:(
He is not interested in dissenting opinions, or things like "logic" or "reason", or "HGJ, please be sensible, it's very unlikely that you can hatch the eggs on your own."
He is not interested in dissenting opinions, or things like "logic" or "reason", or "HGJ, please be sensible, it's very unlikely that you can hatch the eggs on your own."
He makes up his nest and bunks down with his eggs, and if anyone except LXC or LQR try to approach him, he will BITE THEM.
And the physicians eventually think they're just going to have to wait this out. Wait until HGJ finally accepts that the eggs aren't going to hatch.
And the physicians eventually think they're just going to have to wait this out. Wait until HGJ finally accepts that the eggs aren't going to hatch.
But after a while, the eggs are growing and developing. They're turning pretty colors as they feed off LWJ's spiritual energy. And it becomes painful clear that the eggs ARE viable and they WILL hatch eventually.
And all the Lan physicians are just like 🧍🧍♂️🧍♀️
And all the Lan physicians are just like 🧍🧍♂️🧍♀️
But there's really nothing to be done! They just have to look after LWJ and try to make sure the babies are hatched successfully!
And LWJ is doing a great job, but. :( He's tired and lonely. :( It's hard work to hatch three whole eggs all by himself. :(
And LWJ is doing a great job, but. :( He's tired and lonely. :( It's hard work to hatch three whole eggs all by himself. :(
LXC keeps feeding him spiritual energy so he can keep his strength up, but supplying the eggs with enough spiritual energy is really supposed to be a two-person job.
And LWJ keeps asking about WWX, and getting progressively more agitated the longer he goes without hearing news.
And LWJ keeps asking about WWX, and getting progressively more agitated the longer he goes without hearing news.
If he could, he would rush off to Yiling and go looking for WWX himself! But he's stuck in his nest, looking after his eggs, and he is Upset.
He gets himself so wound up that LXC and LQR eventually decide to go look for WWX themselves.
He gets himself so wound up that LXC and LQR eventually decide to go look for WWX themselves.
They're hoping they can at least persuade WWX to make a brief visit, if only to set LWJ's mind at ease.
LQR is Not Happy about this plan, but he's worried about Wangji and his eggs. He can't QUITE prioritize his anger at WWX over the safety of his nephew (and grandbabies 🥺).
LQR is Not Happy about this plan, but he's worried about Wangji and his eggs. He can't QUITE prioritize his anger at WWX over the safety of his nephew (and grandbabies 🥺).
And then once they get to the Burial Mounds, it's like...wow.
Look at all the dangerous Wen cultivators who are NOWHERE TO BE SEEN. Look at the NONEXISTENT army of slavering walking corpses.
Look at that small child, getting buried in the dirt by the Yiling Patriarch.
Look at all the dangerous Wen cultivators who are NOWHERE TO BE SEEN. Look at the NONEXISTENT army of slavering walking corpses.
Look at that small child, getting buried in the dirt by the Yiling Patriarch.
Look at all those elderly people, trying desperately to scratch out a living on thin rocky soil.
Look at WWX and WQ, who are QUITE A BIT THINNER and significantly more careworn than the last time we saw them.
Hm.
HMMM.
Look at WWX and WQ, who are QUITE A BIT THINNER and significantly more careworn than the last time we saw them.
Hm.
HMMM.
...Well, this is awkward.
Neither LXC nor LQR are quite sure what to do.
They cannot, in good conscience, walk away and be like, "OK, have fun starving to death out here while we go back to our nice comfy sect! :)"
Neither LXC nor LQR are quite sure what to do.
They cannot, in good conscience, walk away and be like, "OK, have fun starving to death out here while we go back to our nice comfy sect! :)"
They also cannot, in good conscience, assure Wangji that they saw WWX and he was perfectly fine. Lying is fobidden, doncha know!
And WWX is quite clearly Not Fine.
And WWX is quite clearly Not Fine.
LXC and LQR try the old "okay, so...why don't you come back to Gusu with us for some OBVIOUSLY NECESSARY medical treatment?" routine.
That goes over like a lead balloon.
That goes over like a lead balloon.
But then they mention that LWJ is unwell, and he's been asking for WWX, and he's been wanting to go look for WWX himself, but he can't leave his bed in his (ahem) current condition.
And that changes things quite a bit!
And that changes things quite a bit!
("This is not going to be a threadfic or anything. *proceeds to write 25 consecutive tweets*" 🤡)
Anyway!! WWX is Suspicious, because this could be A Trap. But LXC and LQR really do look worried. And they say that if he refuses to accept treatment, they would not compel him.
Anyway!! WWX is Suspicious, because this could be A Trap. But LXC and LQR really do look worried. And they say that if he refuses to accept treatment, they would not compel him.
But they would like him to pay LWJ a brief visit, to see if it lifts his spirits.
There is, of course, the question of Who Will Protect The Wens in WWX's Absence.
And there is the greater question, for LXC and LQR of Can We Really Turn A Blind Eye To This Kind of Suffering?
There is, of course, the question of Who Will Protect The Wens in WWX's Absence.
And there is the greater question, for LXC and LQR of Can We Really Turn A Blind Eye To This Kind of Suffering?
And then A-Yuan runs over to hug LXC's leg, and then answer to THAT question is quite clear.
So. The Wens are going to have to be packed up and transported to a vacant field near CR. LXC and LQR will have to navigate THAT political nightmare another time.
So. The Wens are going to have to be packed up and transported to a vacant field near CR. LXC and LQR will have to navigate THAT political nightmare another time.
For now, the priority is getting WWX back to CR in the hopes that LWJ will calm down and successfully hatch his eggs.
And so, after a lot of fluttering around (summoning Lan disciples to escort the group to CR, convincing WWX to let LXC fly the two of them back while LQR accompanies the others, etc.) they're off!
...And I have to pause here, because this concept is getting away from me. 😭
...And I have to pause here, because this concept is getting away from me. 😭
All right! So. A few people asked if WWX knows that LWJ is a dragon.
...When I tell you I did ZERO WORLDBUILDING for this concept and it's just tumbling out of my brain with no prior planning. 🙃
Hm.
...When I tell you I did ZERO WORLDBUILDING for this concept and it's just tumbling out of my brain with no prior planning. 🙃
Hm.
I say yes! He does know! This is common knowledge amongst the cultivation world! WWX knows that the main Lan family can shapeshift into dragons.
I'm also gonna say that the other Great Sects families can shapeshift into SOMETHING, too.
I'm also gonna say that the other Great Sects families can shapeshift into SOMETHING, too.
"Hey, cicer, are you just ripping off your Bunji verse again?"
...Yeah.
But I don't want to take the time to think up what everyone else can shapeshift into. It's not really relevant to this threadfic, anyway. 🙃
...Yeah.
But I don't want to take the time to think up what everyone else can shapeshift into. It's not really relevant to this threadfic, anyway. 🙃
(You're truly getting maximum effort from me today, folks! Aren't you proud of the ELABORATE PLANNING I put into these threadfics??)
Anyway! The point is, WWX is not a shapeshifter himself. But he knows LWJ can shift into dragon form.
Anyway! The point is, WWX is not a shapeshifter himself. But he knows LWJ can shift into dragon form.
He's never seen it, but he spent most of the CR arc trying to pester LWJ into shifting.
LWJ always refused, because shifting into dragon form is for Special Occasions Only. It's for emergencies and important family affairs. It is Not Something To Show Outsiders.
LWJ always refused, because shifting into dragon form is for Special Occasions Only. It's for emergencies and important family affairs. It is Not Something To Show Outsiders.
So WWX is not allowed to see his dragon form, and he better stop asking. >:(
...LWJ's opinion on this matter changed during the war. But WWX doesn't know that. He's still operating under the impression that LWJ wants to imprison him in Gusu.
...LWJ's opinion on this matter changed during the war. But WWX doesn't know that. He's still operating under the impression that LWJ wants to imprison him in Gusu.
He thinks LWJ wants to punish him for turning to demonic cultivation.
But now LWJ's family have come looking for WWX. They told him that LWJ is sick and asking for him! And WWX is starting to get very worked up about that.
But now LWJ's family have come looking for WWX. They told him that LWJ is sick and asking for him! And WWX is starting to get very worked up about that.
His concern for LWJ finally persuades him to accept a ride on LXC's sword so they can hurry back to CR.
LQR and the other Lan disciples are staying behind to arrange transport for the Wens. WWX struggles a little with the idea of leaving them behind.
LQR and the other Lan disciples are staying behind to arrange transport for the Wens. WWX struggles a little with the idea of leaving them behind.
He THINKS that LQR can be trusted not to hurt the Wens. They've had their differences, sure. But he doesn't THINK LQR is the sort of person who would hurt someone like Granny or A-Yuan.
He's still worried and paranoid, though.
He's still worried and paranoid, though.
In the end, WQ pushes him out the metaphorical door. She tells him to go see LWJ. If he's really sick and asking for WWX, then WWX had better go. They'll meet up with him later on.
So WWX waves to the Wens and departs.
So WWX waves to the Wens and departs.
On the ride to CR, WWX pesters LXC with lots of questions.
What's wrong with Lan Zhan? How long has he been sick? What kind of illness could strike someone like Lan Zhan, anyway? Did he get hurt on a night hunt? Did he get cursed?
What's wrong with Lan Zhan? How long has he been sick? What kind of illness could strike someone like Lan Zhan, anyway? Did he get hurt on a night hunt? Did he get cursed?
And why haven't the Lan physicians been able to cure him already?!
LXC tries to fob off these questions as best he can.
LXC tries to fob off these questions as best he can.
He's fetching WWX for his little brother, and he's happy to do it.
But he has not going to EXPLAIN this whole situation. He's not going to explain that LWJ is (without malice aforethought!) trying to babytrap WWX, even though they never actually slept together!
But he has not going to EXPLAIN this whole situation. He's not going to explain that LWJ is (without malice aforethought!) trying to babytrap WWX, even though they never actually slept together!
🎶 LXC would do anything for his little brother....but he won't do thaaaaaat. 🎶
So he's extremely vague. He assures WWX that his brother is in no immediate danger. There is no reason to suppose that his current condition will prove fatal.
So he's extremely vague. He assures WWX that his brother is in no immediate danger. There is no reason to suppose that his current condition will prove fatal.
LWJ is receiving the appropriate care from their physicians and the entire clan. But he's currently not feeling very well, and he wants very much to see WWX.
That's it. That's the story.
That's it. That's the story.
WWX isn't quite satisfied with that! But they arrive in CR before he can pry a full explanation out of LXC.
Right away, WWX notices that he's the target of a lot of strange, suspicious looks from the Lan cultivators. But he sets it down to the fact that he's the infamous YP.
Right away, WWX notices that he's the target of a lot of strange, suspicious looks from the Lan cultivators. But he sets it down to the fact that he's the infamous YP.
Naturally, the famously orthodox Lans scorn him for his use of demonic cultivation.
...That's half the reason everyone's staring. But also, everybody knows about HGJ's eggs.
They're not SUPPOSED to know, but the "no gossip in CR" rule only goes so far.
...That's half the reason everyone's staring. But also, everybody knows about HGJ's eggs.
They're not SUPPOSED to know, but the "no gossip in CR" rule only goes so far.
A dragon hatching eggs all by themselves is a once-in-a-generation event! And it usually only happens with dragons who are much much older than HGJ.
So everyone is very curious about this situation. And everyone is secretly wondering if HGJ actually DOES have a mate somewhere.
So everyone is very curious about this situation. And everyone is secretly wondering if HGJ actually DOES have a mate somewhere.
...A mate who might turn up, now that there are eggs to look after.
So when WWX arrives, in the company of Sect Leader Lan, and heads straight for the Jingshi, everyone is like 👀👀👀
So when WWX arrives, in the company of Sect Leader Lan, and heads straight for the Jingshi, everyone is like 👀👀👀
Anyway. LWJ is indeed the Jingshi, and not the traditional nesting caves in the back hills.
That's because the eggs arrived suddenly, without much warning. He thought he just had a stomach ache and a pulled muscle in his back.
That's because the eggs arrived suddenly, without much warning. He thought he just had a stomach ache and a pulled muscle in his back.
It wasn't until LWJ was doubled up on the bathroom floor, delivering his eggs, that he understood he DIDN'T have a mild case of food poisoning and a muscle sprain.
Oops.
Oops.
But once the eggs arrived, it was too late for LWJ to move. Instinct kicked in, and LWJ dragged himself and his eggs over to his bed. Then he camped out right there.
If anyone tried to suggest that he move to a proper nesting space in the caves, he bit them.
If anyone tried to suggest that he move to a proper nesting space in the caves, he bit them.
He's been doing a lot of biting lately, both in human and dragon form. And he's been switching between the two forms as needed.
(Sidenote: I'm visualizing the Lan dragons as...like, somewhere between the size of a tiger and large wolf.)
(Sidenote: I'm visualizing the Lan dragons as...like, somewhere between the size of a tiger and large wolf.)
(Maybe they get larger as they get older and their cultivation develops more? At the moment, LWJ is young enough and small enough to fit on his bed with his eggs.)
His dragon form is better for nesting, but it takes more energy to maintain. And since he needs to feed his eggs with spiritual energy, all by himself, he doesn't have much energy to spare.
So he spends part of the day in human form, curled around his eggs.
So he spends part of the day in human form, curled around his eggs.
Naked, of course.
It's too much trouble to keep putting clothes on and taking them off when he wants to shift!
Nobody comes to see him except his immediate family and the physicians, anyway. And most of them don't even try to approach the nest.
It's too much trouble to keep putting clothes on and taking them off when he wants to shift!
Nobody comes to see him except his immediate family and the physicians, anyway. And most of them don't even try to approach the nest.
They learned the hard way that approaching the nest will get them bitten! So they just drop off food and water and clean bedding.
So when LXC and WWX arrive at the Jingshi, LWJ is tucked up in bed with his eggs, naked underneath a very thin sheet.
So when LXC and WWX arrive at the Jingshi, LWJ is tucked up in bed with his eggs, naked underneath a very thin sheet.
....And we're going to pause here for now. I'll try to do another installment tomorrow! 🐉🥚🥚🥚
(We're back! 🐉🥚🥚🥚)
Now, WWX wasn't quite sure what he was going to find inside the Jingshi.
LXC was so stingy with his information! He didn't even say whether Lan Zhan was sick, or injured, or cursed, or what.
Now, WWX wasn't quite sure what he was going to find inside the Jingshi.
LXC was so stingy with his information! He didn't even say whether Lan Zhan was sick, or injured, or cursed, or what.
But WWX vaguely supposed that once he slid open the door to Lan Zhan's bedroom, he'd find Lan Zhan wrapped up in bandages from head to toe.
Or maybe Lan Zhan would be huddled beneath blankets as he sweated out a fever.
Or maybe Lan Zhan would be huddled beneath blankets as he sweated out a fever.
He was NOT expecting to find Lan Zhan sprawled across his bed, CLEARLY not wearing a stitch of clothing.
WWX puts one foot across the threshold as he takes in his surroundings. Then he flings his hands up over his eyes before he even has a chance to think about what he's doing.
WWX puts one foot across the threshold as he takes in his surroundings. Then he flings his hands up over his eyes before he even has a chance to think about what he's doing.
"Lan Zhan!" he chokes out.
He means to sound reproachful, or shocked, or concerned, or SOMETHING.
But mostly, he just sounds sort of squeaky.
He means to sound reproachful, or shocked, or concerned, or SOMETHING.
But mostly, he just sounds sort of squeaky.
WWX lowers his hands just long enough to take a tentative peek to the side.
But LXC is gone! He's evaporated into thin air...or made a run for it while WWX's eyes were closed.
He's ABANDONED WWX with a NAKED Lan Zhan, and WWX does not know what to do next.
But LXC is gone! He's evaporated into thin air...or made a run for it while WWX's eyes were closed.
He's ABANDONED WWX with a NAKED Lan Zhan, and WWX does not know what to do next.
"Wei Ying."
WWX risks a glance at the bed, and immediately slams his eyes shut. Lan Zhan sounds stronger that he expected, and that's good. He sounds almost...happy to see WWX.
WWX doesn't have any idea what to do with THAT.
WWX risks a glance at the bed, and immediately slams his eyes shut. Lan Zhan sounds stronger that he expected, and that's good. He sounds almost...happy to see WWX.
WWX doesn't have any idea what to do with THAT.
But he REALLY doesn't have any idea what to do with all the skin that's currently on display.
Lan Zhan is trying to sit up on the bed, and the sheet is sliding precariously off one hip. The bedding has pooled in his lap, but it looks like it could slip off any minute.
Lan Zhan is trying to sit up on the bed, and the sheet is sliding precariously off one hip. The bedding has pooled in his lap, but it looks like it could slip off any minute.
WWX really can't be responsible for his actions if this continues, so he keeps his eyes closed. Then he staggers over the the bed and gropes blindly at the sheets.
"What are you doing! They told me you were sick! Why are you lying around like this? You'll make yourself sicker!"
"What are you doing! They told me you were sick! Why are you lying around like this? You'll make yourself sicker!"
He gathers up a fistful of bedding and piles it on something that might be Lan Zhan's chest, or maybe his head.
"Hurry, hurry! Cover up! You'll die of pneumonia!"
He fumbles around, shifting the blankets until he feels tolerably sure that Lan Zhan MUST be covered up.
"Hurry, hurry! Cover up! You'll die of pneumonia!"
He fumbles around, shifting the blankets until he feels tolerably sure that Lan Zhan MUST be covered up.
Then he cracks one eye open.
Sure enough, Lan Zhan is covered up. WWX's heartbeat slowly ratchets down. Lan Zhan's head peeks out over the bedding.
His eyes are locked on WWX and he seems...strangely happy.
Sure enough, Lan Zhan is covered up. WWX's heartbeat slowly ratchets down. Lan Zhan's head peeks out over the bedding.
His eyes are locked on WWX and he seems...strangely happy.
That doesn't make any sense at all.
WWX decides Lan Zhan must be delirious. He does look sort of sweaty and feverish. Probably he doesn't even know what he's doing, or who's in the room with him!
WWX decides Lan Zhan must be delirious. He does look sort of sweaty and feverish. Probably he doesn't even know what he's doing, or who's in the room with him!
He certainly would be looking like this (all happy and naked!) if he knew it was WWX.
(LWJ is not delirious, but his body temperature is running a little higher than usual due to the nesting process. He is very much aware of WWX's presence.)
(LWJ is not delirious, but his body temperature is running a little higher than usual due to the nesting process. He is very much aware of WWX's presence.)
(He's very happy that WWX is finally here, touching and rearranging the nest. This is as it should be. WWX needs to help make the nest cozy and snug!
But LWJ is not happy once he takes a good look at WWX.)
But LWJ is not happy once he takes a good look at WWX.)
"You're thin," he says.
He sounds utterly dejected over this discovery, and WWX blinks down at himself.
"Ah. Sure, of course I am. It's stylish to be thin nowadays, you know. Very trendy and glamorous!"
He sounds utterly dejected over this discovery, and WWX blinks down at himself.
"Ah. Sure, of course I am. It's stylish to be thin nowadays, you know. Very trendy and glamorous!"
He gives Lan Zhan a rather brittle smile.
He hasn't eaten in two full days, but he has no intentions of telling Lan Zhan THAT.
It doesn't matter anyway. Lan Zhan stares at WWX's protruding wristbones like they've personally betrayed him.
He hasn't eaten in two full days, but he has no intentions of telling Lan Zhan THAT.
It doesn't matter anyway. Lan Zhan stares at WWX's protruding wristbones like they've personally betrayed him.
Then he fights his way free of the bedding and reaches for the covered dishes beside the bed. He pushes a bowl of soup into WWX's hands and snatches two steamed buns from a platter. He shoves those into WWX's hands too.
WWX gives a rough, startled laugh.
WWX gives a rough, startled laugh.
"What are you doing? This is YOUR food. You're sick, aren't you? You need to eat your food or you won't get better!"
The sheets are sliding precariously down Lan Zhan's bare chest again. But WWX holds his breath and gives Lan Zhan a long, assessing look.
The sheets are sliding precariously down Lan Zhan's bare chest again. But WWX holds his breath and gives Lan Zhan a long, assessing look.
For just a moment, just a split-second as he entered the Jingshi, a wave of paranoid had swept across his mind.
He didn't THINK Lan Zhan would stoop to this: lying about being sick, sending his family to trick WWX into coming to CR on false pretenses.
He didn't THINK Lan Zhan would stoop to this: lying about being sick, sending his family to trick WWX into coming to CR on false pretenses.
But for just a brief moment, he had wondered if he'd fallen into a trap. Something about the whole situation seemed...off.
Lan Zhan didn't LOOK sick, exactly. He was a little sweaty and his eyes had a strange sheen, but he clearly wasn't hurt. He was moving around all right.
Lan Zhan didn't LOOK sick, exactly. He was a little sweaty and his eyes had a strange sheen, but he clearly wasn't hurt. He was moving around all right.
But he clearly wasn't healthy, either. A normal, healthy Lan Zhan wouldn't behave like this. He wouldn't drag WWX to sit on the edge of his bed. He wouldn't shove food into WWX's hands and stare at him unnervingly until he ate it.
"There is plenty," he says, when WWX tries to object.
And there is, too. There's a lot of food piled up on the tray beside Lan Zhan's bed. Either he hasn't been eating his last few meals, or the servants are bringing him triple portions.
And there is, too. There's a lot of food piled up on the tray beside Lan Zhan's bed. Either he hasn't been eating his last few meals, or the servants are bringing him triple portions.
WWX doesn't know what to make of that, either.
But Lan Zhan just keeps staring, and it's sort of uncomfortable. WWX has a vague suspicion that you're supposed to humor sick people when they make strange demands.
And. And he is hungry, actually. He's very hungry.
But Lan Zhan just keeps staring, and it's sort of uncomfortable. WWX has a vague suspicion that you're supposed to humor sick people when they make strange demands.
And. And he is hungry, actually. He's very hungry.
So he eats his bowl of soup and his steamed buns.
It makes Lan Zhan happy, anyway. He watches WWX eat, and his expression is transparently smug.
WWX stares at him while he scrapes the last bit of soup from the bowl.
It makes Lan Zhan happy, anyway. He watches WWX eat, and his expression is transparently smug.
WWX stares at him while he scrapes the last bit of soup from the bowl.
"They told me you were sick."
His voice comes out a little accusing. He doesn't mean to sound that way. But he started using that tone months ago, whenever he spoke to Lan Zhan. It was a defense mechanism then.
Now, WWX doesn't know how to stop.
His voice comes out a little accusing. He doesn't mean to sound that way. But he started using that tone months ago, whenever he spoke to Lan Zhan. It was a defense mechanism then.
Now, WWX doesn't know how to stop.
Lan Zhan doesn't seem offended, though. He leans back against the pillows and shut his eyes.
"Not sick. Only tired."
WWX blinks and darts another glance around the room. It very warm, a fire blazing in the corner. The doors and windows are all shut, and the room is dimly lit.
"Not sick. Only tired."
WWX blinks and darts another glance around the room. It very warm, a fire blazing in the corner. The doors and windows are all shut, and the room is dimly lit.
It sort of looks like a sickroom, maybe.
Lan Zhan MUST be sick. He wouldn't take a break for any other reason. WWX has seen him try to walk on a broken leg! His family wouldn't go looking for WWX if LWJ was just a little tired.
He must be sick, or cursed, or something.
Lan Zhan MUST be sick. He wouldn't take a break for any other reason. WWX has seen him try to walk on a broken leg! His family wouldn't go looking for WWX if LWJ was just a little tired.
He must be sick, or cursed, or something.
WWX tries to humor him anyway.
"Ah, well. Hanguang-Jun works too hard!" He sets his bowl aside and drums his fingertips on his knees. "Did you get tired out on a night hunt?"
It's a curse, WWX decides. It must be.
"Ah, well. Hanguang-Jun works too hard!" He sets his bowl aside and drums his fingertips on his knees. "Did you get tired out on a night hunt?"
It's a curse, WWX decides. It must be.
The Lans must have sent for him because they thought he'd know something about the sort of curses people are using nowadays. They must have thought he could do something to help, fight back against whatever is affecting Lan Zhan.
WWX will help, if he can.
WWX will help, if he can.
He'll do anything he can to help Lan Zhan.
But Lan Zhan just shakes his head.
"No," he says. "Not a night-hunt."
Then he turns back the covers.
But Lan Zhan just shakes his head.
"No," he says. "Not a night-hunt."
Then he turns back the covers.
WWX slams his eyes shut on instinct. But after an awkward pause, he risks a tiny peek.
To his relief (and somewhat to his disappointment) Lan Zhan hasn't uncovered his body. Instead, he's uncovered something else.
Something is in the bed with him.
To his relief (and somewhat to his disappointment) Lan Zhan hasn't uncovered his body. Instead, he's uncovered something else.
Something is in the bed with him.
WWX didn't see it at first, hidden beneath the blankets. But there are three THINGS in the bed with Lan Zhan.
WWX doesn't know what they are at first. He blinks. His mind sputters and turns over slowly.
WWX doesn't know what they are at first. He blinks. His mind sputters and turns over slowly.
They're very pretty, all white and gold and blue, swirling in a delicate cloud pattern. About the size of a melon or a winter squash, and not quite round. They're more oblong, really. Kind of egg-shaped.
...They're quite egg-shaped, actually.
Very much egg-shaped.
...They're quite egg-shaped, actually.
Very much egg-shaped.
They look very, very similar to what WWX always imagined dragon eggs would look like.
He could never find much information about that sort of thing. The Lan were stingy with that sort of information too!
He could never find much information about that sort of thing. The Lan were stingy with that sort of information too!
But WWX had spent a lot of time thinking about dragon eggs while he was studying at CR.
For no particular reason, of course. It was academic curiosity, nothing more! Probably it was only because nobody would TELL him anything about dragons or how they mated or had eggs.
For no particular reason, of course. It was academic curiosity, nothing more! Probably it was only because nobody would TELL him anything about dragons or how they mated or had eggs.
But he always thought they must be very pretty. He thought they would be blue and white. He even thought they might have a cloud pattern to their shell.
He almost wants to feel proud of himself for his correct hypotheses. But then the implication of what he's seeing sinks in.
He almost wants to feel proud of himself for his correct hypotheses. But then the implication of what he's seeing sinks in.
WWX chokes. He sputters. His throat starts to close up, and he can't remember how to breathe.
"Lan Zhan."
It comes out as a pitiful, strangled whisper. Everything slots into place.
"Lan Zhan."
It comes out as a pitiful, strangled whisper. Everything slots into place.
Almost everything, anyway.
WWX understand the dark, warm room. All the extra food on the table. Why Lan Zhan is acting so strangely. Those things make sense now.
Lan Zhan has a NEST. He has nest full of babies, and he's trying to hatch them!
WWX understand the dark, warm room. All the extra food on the table. Why Lan Zhan is acting so strangely. Those things make sense now.
Lan Zhan has a NEST. He has nest full of babies, and he's trying to hatch them!
But WWX doesn't have the slightest idea what HE'S doing here. He would have thought he'd be the last person on earth Lan Zhan would want anywhere near his nest.
Especially now. Especially after everything that WWX has done.
Especially now. Especially after everything that WWX has done.
Then, the other shoe drops. WWX's stomach plummets straight to his feet.
"I didn't...nobody told me you got married."
His body gives a strange, involuntary jerk.
"Should I even be in here? Isn't this your NEST? Your mate will get mad at me!"
"I didn't...nobody told me you got married."
His body gives a strange, involuntary jerk.
"Should I even be in here? Isn't this your NEST? Your mate will get mad at me!"
WWX can just picture it: Lan Zhan's furious mate, gutting him like a carp for daring to approach the nest.
WWX wouldn't even blame them for it, really. If he were...if Lan Zhan were...if the eggs were his...WWX wouldn't want anyone else getting near them either.
WWX wouldn't even blame them for it, really. If he were...if Lan Zhan were...if the eggs were his...WWX wouldn't want anyone else getting near them either.
He tries to get up, to scurry away from the bed. But Lan Zhan latches onto his wrist and yanks him back down.
"Lan Zhan!"
He tries to tug himself free. He doesn't WANT to be killed for touching someone else's mate.
"Lan Zhan!"
He tries to tug himself free. He doesn't WANT to be killed for touching someone else's mate.
He also doesn't want to MEET this person who married Lan Zhan and gave him those eggs.
If WWX has to actually watch someone climb into bed with Lan Zhan and curl around him, he may shrivel up and die from pure jealousy.
But LWJ clutches his wrist and holds him in place.
If WWX has to actually watch someone climb into bed with Lan Zhan and curl around him, he may shrivel up and die from pure jealousy.
But LWJ clutches his wrist and holds him in place.
"I did not marry," Lan Zhan says simply. "There is no one else. No one will be angry."
WWX stops struggling to get free. In fact, he goes entirely limp with astonishment. For a minute, WWX can't breathe.
"You had BABIES without getting married?!"
WWX stops struggling to get free. In fact, he goes entirely limp with astonishment. For a minute, WWX can't breathe.
"You had BABIES without getting married?!"
Too late, he realizes that sounds very mean and judgmental. He hastily backtracks.
"Sorry, sorry!"
He waves his hands. Lan Zhan is still clutching his wrist, but WWX doesn't know how to get loose.
"It's none of my business, obviously!"
"Sorry, sorry!"
He waves his hands. Lan Zhan is still clutching his wrist, but WWX doesn't know how to get loose.
"It's none of my business, obviously!"
"But..." He falters. "Aren't the elders upset? Are they going to punish you?"
He can't imagine they're HAPPY about this. It must be a very shocking thing, almost unheard of for the Lan clan.
Then another thought hits him, and almost knocks him flat.
He can't imagine they're HAPPY about this. It must be a very shocking thing, almost unheard of for the Lan clan.
Then another thought hits him, and almost knocks him flat.
He sucks in a breath.
"And how about the..."
He doesn't even know the right word for it. Is Lan Zhan the mother of the babies, or the father? Is there a difference, for dragons?!
"The other parent?" he tries. "What about THEM? Did they just LEAVE you with the babies?"
"And how about the..."
He doesn't even know the right word for it. Is Lan Zhan the mother of the babies, or the father? Is there a difference, for dragons?!
"The other parent?" he tries. "What about THEM? Did they just LEAVE you with the babies?"
He feels a flicker of white-hot rage.
If Lan Zhan isn't married, that means that someone made babies with him and then DIDN'T MARRY HIM AFTERWARD.
They just left Lan Zhan all by himself, in a nest with THREE EGGS.
If WWX's hand was free, he'd reach for Chenqing.
If Lan Zhan isn't married, that means that someone made babies with him and then DIDN'T MARRY HIM AFTERWARD.
They just left Lan Zhan all by himself, in a nest with THREE EGGS.
If WWX's hand was free, he'd reach for Chenqing.
But Lan Zhan still has possession of his hand. And he shakes his head anyway.
"Wei Ying." He sighs. "What do you know of how my clan reproduces?"
"Nothing!" WWX blurts out.
"Wei Ying." He sighs. "What do you know of how my clan reproduces?"
"Nothing!" WWX blurts out.
If he sounds a little guilty, it's because he MIGHT have resorted to NHS' books when he couldn't find anything about dragon mating or how dragons make babies in the Lan sect library.
NHS had lots of texts about that sort of thing! As it turns out, lots of people have written about marrying and making babies with a dragon.
But WWX is pretty sure those books weren't anatomically accurate.
But WWX is pretty sure those books weren't anatomically accurate.
The books definitely didn't mention anything about dragons being able to lay eggs all by themselves. But apparently that's an OPTION.
"Oh," WWX says stupidly.
Lan Zhan leans back against the pillows, apparently tired by his impromptu biology lecture.
"Oh," WWX says stupidly.
Lan Zhan leans back against the pillows, apparently tired by his impromptu biology lecture.
WWX pours him a cup of water and hands it over somewhat numbly.
"Oh. So they're just...they're only yours? Just Lan Zhan's, and nobody else's?"
Lan Zhan nods.
"Oh. So they're just...they're only yours? Just Lan Zhan's, and nobody else's?"
Lan Zhan nods.
There's no reason on earth why WWX should feel so wildly, desperately RELIEVED by that information.
He tells himself he's only glad he won't be gutted by an angry dragon, trying to protect their nesting mate.
Then he gives into temptation and reaches out to touch the eggs.
He tells himself he's only glad he won't be gutted by an angry dragon, trying to protect their nesting mate.
Then he gives into temptation and reaches out to touch the eggs.
"Lan Zhan. They're so pretty."
They are. WWX traces a finger along a delicate silvery swirl. Then he cups one of the eggs in his hands.
"They're so BIG!"
The egg is heavy in his palms, and a lot bigger than WWX might have expected.
They are. WWX traces a finger along a delicate silvery swirl. Then he cups one of the eggs in his hands.
"They're so BIG!"
The egg is heavy in his palms, and a lot bigger than WWX might have expected.
WWX wonders how Lan Zhan managed to get such big eggs OUT, and he immediately chokes again. But he's distracted before he can wander too far down that mental path.
The egg flutters, or buzzes, or SOMETHING. WWX almost drops it in shock.
The egg flutters, or buzzes, or SOMETHING. WWX almost drops it in shock.
"Ah! I felt one of them wiggling around!"
He lowers the egg gingerly, laying it next to its siblings. But he keeps his hand against the shell, feeling the tiny flutters beneath the leathery exterior.
"Mm. They have begun to move."
He lowers the egg gingerly, laying it next to its siblings. But he keeps his hand against the shell, feeling the tiny flutters beneath the leathery exterior.
"Mm. They have begun to move."
Lan Zhan sounds terribly pleased with himself, but WWX can't begrudge him that.
It has to be a special accomplishment, having eggs all by yourself. Of course, it's no surprise that Lan Zhan was the one to manage it! But he still has a right to be proud.
It has to be a special accomplishment, having eggs all by yourself. Of course, it's no surprise that Lan Zhan was the one to manage it! But he still has a right to be proud.
WWX pats the egg carefully. Then he covers all three eggs with the blanket.
They're supposed to stay warm, probably. That's why Lan Zhan is in the nest with them. WWX arranges the blankets, making sure to shield the eggs against any drafts.
"How much longer, until...?"
They're supposed to stay warm, probably. That's why Lan Zhan is in the nest with them. WWX arranges the blankets, making sure to shield the eggs against any drafts.
"How much longer, until...?"
He wonders, stupidly, if he'll get a chance to see the babies once they've hatched.
Probably not. Probably the Lans won't want him anywhere near Lan Zhan's children.
Probably not. Probably the Lans won't want him anywhere near Lan Zhan's children.
WWX still doesn't know what he's doing here. If Lan Zhan isn't sick or cursed - if he's only having babies - then why did he want to see WWX?
Lan Zhan seems remarkably unbothered by the whole situation. It's as if he doesn't remember that they parted on terrible terms.
Lan Zhan seems remarkably unbothered by the whole situation. It's as if he doesn't remember that they parted on terrible terms.
The last time they saw each other, WWX was riding away with the Wens in the rain.
But Lan Zhan just smooths the blanket over his eggs.
"At least another month. Maybe two." He pauses. "It will depend on how much spiritual energy I can provide."
But Lan Zhan just smooths the blanket over his eggs.
"At least another month. Maybe two." He pauses. "It will depend on how much spiritual energy I can provide."
WWX stares at the eggs - just a bunch of blanket-covered lumps, at the moment - and tries to digest that.
"It's supposed to be a two-person job, right?"
That only makes sense, and sure enough Lan Zhan nods.
"Ah. Is your family helping out?"
"It's supposed to be a two-person job, right?"
That only makes sense, and sure enough Lan Zhan nods.
"Ah. Is your family helping out?"
There has to be some sort of protocol for this situation. Surely nobody expects Lan Zhan to do this ALL by himself. Someone has to be helping him take care of the eggs.
Lan Zhan inclines his head.
"Brother gives me some of his energy each day."
Lan Zhan inclines his head.
"Brother gives me some of his energy each day."
WWX swallows hard and nods.
"Ah. Good, good. And they're..."
He stares at the tray beside Lan Zhan's bed.
"They're bringing you food and everything? They're looking after you?"
"Ah. Good, good. And they're..."
He stares at the tray beside Lan Zhan's bed.
"They're bringing you food and everything? They're looking after you?"
He doesn't understand why he found Lan Zhan in here ALONE. Why aren't the other Lans hanging around, helping out a little more?
Maybe this is how it normally works. Maybe dragons usually don't let anybody else in their nesting space. Maybe Lan Zhan wanted to be alone?
Maybe this is how it normally works. Maybe dragons usually don't let anybody else in their nesting space. Maybe Lan Zhan wanted to be alone?
But if that's the case, then why did he let WWX come inside and look at the eggs? Why did he ask his family to bring WWX here at all?
LXC hinted that Lan Zhan has been worried about him. WWX turns that over in his mind, but he can't make it make sense.
LXC hinted that Lan Zhan has been worried about him. WWX turns that over in his mind, but he can't make it make sense.
He buries his face in his hands.
"Lan Zhan. You have BABIES."
Lan Zhan makes a soft, assenting sound. He sounds surprisingly calm, and WWX lets out a brief hysterical laugh.
"Lan Zhan. You have BABIES."
Lan Zhan makes a soft, assenting sound. He sounds surprisingly calm, and WWX lets out a brief hysterical laugh.
"Why were you wasting time asking around about me?"
WWX gesticulates wildly.
"Making your brother go looking for me! Sending him to bring me for a visit! Shouldn't you just think about your little ones? You don't need to bother with me!"
WWX gesticulates wildly.
"Making your brother go looking for me! Sending him to bring me for a visit! Shouldn't you just think about your little ones? You don't need to bother with me!"
Lan Zhan has quite enough to think of! He has plenty to keep him busy, with three little hatchlings on the way. There is no reason whatsoever for him to think about WWX.
But Lan Zhan just stares at him. His gaze is steady and unnervingly intense.
But Lan Zhan just stares at him. His gaze is steady and unnervingly intense.
"I always worry about Wei Ying, particularly since we have been apart."
He smooths a hand over the blanket-covered eggs again.
"The children do not change that," he adds.
He smooths a hand over the blanket-covered eggs again.
"The children do not change that," he adds.
WWX can't even begin to respond to that. The breath is sucked out of his lungs, and he sits frozen for a long time.
Then, because he doesn't know what else to do, he starts to talk about the Wens.
Then, because he doesn't know what else to do, he starts to talk about the Wens.
He can't respond to...whatever Lan Zhan just said. He doesn't even know what to say to all that: I always worry about Wei Ying.
Maybe Lan Zhan is still a little delirious from delivering his eggs. Maybe he's not thinking clearly. Maybe he's confusing WWX with someone else.
Maybe Lan Zhan is still a little delirious from delivering his eggs. Maybe he's not thinking clearly. Maybe he's confusing WWX with someone else.
That makes sense.
Probably.
So WWX charitably pretends that he didn't hear Lan Zhan's feverish ramblings. He says that LXC and LQR promised to help resettle the Wens someplace near Gusu.
Probably.
So WWX charitably pretends that he didn't hear Lan Zhan's feverish ramblings. He says that LXC and LQR promised to help resettle the Wens someplace near Gusu.
Someplace with land they could actually farm. Someplace with markets and shops, and maybe even jobs.
It all sounds far too good to be true. If the Lans wouldn't intercede for the Wen refugees before, why should they change their mind now?
It all sounds far too good to be true. If the Lans wouldn't intercede for the Wen refugees before, why should they change their mind now?
But Lan Zhan just nods.
"Good. They will be safe, then. Brother and Uncle will see to it."
He sounds a little groggy. His eyes are sliding closed, but he opens them after a minute.
"And Wei Ying will stay here?"
"Good. They will be safe, then. Brother and Uncle will see to it."
He sounds a little groggy. His eyes are sliding closed, but he opens them after a minute.
"And Wei Ying will stay here?"
WWX opens his mouth, then shuts it.
"Well. I'll need to look after the Wens a bit more! I can't leave them alone now."
He can't. Not when he's still not sure that the Lans will keep their promise.
"Well. I'll need to look after the Wens a bit more! I can't leave them alone now."
He can't. Not when he's still not sure that the Lans will keep their promise.
But he's also not sure that he can bear to disappoint Lan Zhan.
And he's not sure that's he's understood anything that happened so far, actually.
He THOUGHT he knew why Lan Zhan always wanted him to come to CR. He thought it was all about punishment and reformation.
And he's not sure that's he's understood anything that happened so far, actually.
He THOUGHT he knew why Lan Zhan always wanted him to come to CR. He thought it was all about punishment and reformation.
But if Lan Zhan wants him to stay now, when he's busy nesting and can't even impose any punishments, maybe...
Maybe that's not it at all.
Maybe he actually WAS worried about WWX.
Maybe that's not it at all.
Maybe he actually WAS worried about WWX.
Lan Zhan's eyes slide shut again.
"Brother will erect wards to protect the Wens' dwellings."
His voice thickens with fatigue.
"The disciples will deliver supplies. They will be safe."
Slowly, Lan Zhan cracks his eyes open one last time.
"Wei Ying should stay here."
"Brother will erect wards to protect the Wens' dwellings."
His voice thickens with fatigue.
"The disciples will deliver supplies. They will be safe."
Slowly, Lan Zhan cracks his eyes open one last time.
"Wei Ying should stay here."
WWX can't. He really, really can't. There are so very many reasons why he can't stay here. A thousand reasons, at least.
But Lan Zhan moves the blanket aside. He reaches out sleepily and takes WWX's hand. He puts it on one of the eggs.
And WWX can't bring himself to say no.
But Lan Zhan moves the blanket aside. He reaches out sleepily and takes WWX's hand. He puts it on one of the eggs.
And WWX can't bring himself to say no.
He swallows around a dry throat.
"Only for a little while," he tries. "I'll make some presents for the babies, how about that? Some protective charms, just like I'm making for Shijie's baby."
His fingers move without conscious thought, tracing over the shell.
"Only for a little while," he tries. "I'll make some presents for the babies, how about that? Some protective charms, just like I'm making for Shijie's baby."
His fingers move without conscious thought, tracing over the shell.
"I'll help you think up some lucky names, too."
He has no business naming any of Lan Zhan's children, of course.
But Lan Zhan just hums. And he doesn't say no.
He has no business naming any of Lan Zhan's children, of course.
But Lan Zhan just hums. And he doesn't say no.
(*lays down beside pool and gently touches the water*
Do you ever accidentally start a new threadfic even when you promised yourself you wouldn't?
Do you ever tweet a random brainworm and then several thousands words tumble out?)
Do you ever accidentally start a new threadfic even when you promised yourself you wouldn't?
Do you ever tweet a random brainworm and then several thousands words tumble out?)
(Why 👏 am 👏 I 👏 like 👏 this 👏
Anyway. Pausing here for now. More soonish!)
Anyway. Pausing here for now. More soonish!)
🐉🥚🥚🥚
WWX zones out for a little while after that. He pats the egg and stares at Lan Zhan, who's half-asleep.
Dimly, WWX feels like he should probably leave.
WWX zones out for a little while after that. He pats the egg and stares at Lan Zhan, who's half-asleep.
Dimly, WWX feels like he should probably leave.
He's promised to stay in CR for a proper visit, and he won't break his promise.
But he should probably go...somewhere else.
Some clean, empty guest room. Someplace that's not here: Lan Zhan's bedroom, with Lan Zhan naked in the bed.
But he should probably go...somewhere else.
Some clean, empty guest room. Someplace that's not here: Lan Zhan's bedroom, with Lan Zhan naked in the bed.
The whole situation feels sort of wrong, except for the part where it completely doesn't.
The egg is warm under WWX's hand. Every so often, it rocks a little bit. It feels like the baby might be turning somersaults in there.
WWX taps experimentally against the shell.
The egg is warm under WWX's hand. Every so often, it rocks a little bit. It feels like the baby might be turning somersaults in there.
WWX taps experimentally against the shell.
The baby wiggles around some more.
WWX wonders if the baby is currently a tiny dragon, or a tiny human. He wonders what form it will take when it hatches. He wonders if it will stay in one form until it's grown up, or if it will switch back and forth during childhood.
WWX wonders if the baby is currently a tiny dragon, or a tiny human. He wonders what form it will take when it hatches. He wonders if it will stay in one form until it's grown up, or if it will switch back and forth during childhood.
He doesn't know the answer to those questions.
He sort of wants to wake Lan Zhan up to ask him. But that doesn't seem fair. Lan Zhan looks so tired. It must be exhausting, trying to feed three babies with his own spiritual energy.
He sort of wants to wake Lan Zhan up to ask him. But that doesn't seem fair. Lan Zhan looks so tired. It must be exhausting, trying to feed three babies with his own spiritual energy.
All at once, WWX feels a raw twist of grief that takes his breath away.
If things were different, he could help. He could offer to give the babies a little of his own energy. He could lift some of Lan Zhan's burdens, make it so that Lan Zhan wasn't forced to do this by himself.
If things were different, he could help. He could offer to give the babies a little of his own energy. He could lift some of Lan Zhan's burdens, make it so that Lan Zhan wasn't forced to do this by himself.
But he can't.
The baby wiggles around, the egg wobbling slightly on the pillow. And WWX can't give it anything.
He can't do anything more than pat the shell soothingly, and hope the baby can be patient until Lan Zhan is rested and ready to feed it again.
The baby wiggles around, the egg wobbling slightly on the pillow. And WWX can't give it anything.
He can't do anything more than pat the shell soothingly, and hope the baby can be patient until Lan Zhan is rested and ready to feed it again.
Helplessness burns through his veins, and he almost wants to cry.
At that auspicious moment, LQR blunders into the bedroom with another tray of food.
His eyes immediately fall on WWX, who realizes too late that he's still cuddling the egg.
At that auspicious moment, LQR blunders into the bedroom with another tray of food.
His eyes immediately fall on WWX, who realizes too late that he's still cuddling the egg.
Also, he's within arm's reach of LQR's naked nephew.
WWX gulps.
WWX gulps.
When all is said and done, it's probably no surprise that LQR makes the face he does. He looks like he just bit into something terrible bitter, but he knows he has no choice but to swallow it.
LQR thumps the tray down on the table with a little more force than is strictly necessary.
The noise wakes Lan Zhan up, which makes WWX glare at LQR instinctively.
By the time Lan Zhan blinks and lifts his head up from the pillow, WWX and LQR are both glaring at each other.
The noise wakes Lan Zhan up, which makes WWX glare at LQR instinctively.
By the time Lan Zhan blinks and lifts his head up from the pillow, WWX and LQR are both glaring at each other.
Lan Zhan blinks some more, taking in the scene.
WWX half expects hims to rescind his invitation on the spot. But Lan Zhan only stares at the two of them for a few moments. Then he lies back down and adjust the blankets around the eggs.
WWX half expects hims to rescind his invitation on the spot. But Lan Zhan only stares at the two of them for a few moments. Then he lies back down and adjust the blankets around the eggs.
"Uncle. Wei Ying is going to stay and wait for the hatching with me."
He covers up the eggs, his voice abstracted and almost dreamy.
"Please have someone bring his things here."
He covers up the eggs, his voice abstracted and almost dreamy.
"Please have someone bring his things here."
At first, the words don't sink in.
But LQR's mouth pinches up even further. With that small gesture, WWX finally understands.
His own mouth drops open.
When Lan Zhan asked him to stay 'here', WWX thought he meant...'here', generally.
But LQR's mouth pinches up even further. With that small gesture, WWX finally understands.
His own mouth drops open.
When Lan Zhan asked him to stay 'here', WWX thought he meant...'here', generally.
'Here', as in Cloud Recesses.
'Here', as in a guest room.
'Here', as someplace nearby where he could visit Lan Zhan and cheer him up while he finished nesting.
'Here', as in a guest room.
'Here', as someplace nearby where he could visit Lan Zhan and cheer him up while he finished nesting.
He hadn't thought...he would NEVER have supposed...that Lan Zhan meant 'here' as in HERE.
Here, in Lan Zhan's rooms.
Here, in the NEST.
Here, in Lan Zhan's rooms.
Here, in the NEST.
But it's pretty obvious by Lan Zhan's tone that when he says 'here', he means 'here'.
He even points to his own drawers and chest, to emphasize where he wants WWX things to be placed.
WWX sputters a little bit.
He even points to his own drawers and chest, to emphasize where he wants WWX things to be placed.
WWX sputters a little bit.
LQR's mouth is compressed into a thin line, but he responds with surprising equanimity.
He doesn't pitch a fit, like WWX might have expected. He doesn't forbid it. He just tells Lan Zhan, very gently, to eat his soup while they deal with unpacking WWX's nonexistent luggage.
He doesn't pitch a fit, like WWX might have expected. He doesn't forbid it. He just tells Lan Zhan, very gently, to eat his soup while they deal with unpacking WWX's nonexistent luggage.
Then he takes a firm hold of WWX's arm and steers him out of the room.
Ah, WWX thinks. Well, that makes sense.
Of course nobody wants to upset Lan Zhan just now. Of course his family plans to humor him while he's busy with his eggs. That's very fair and reasonable.
Ah, WWX thinks. Well, that makes sense.
Of course nobody wants to upset Lan Zhan just now. Of course his family plans to humor him while he's busy with his eggs. That's very fair and reasonable.
WWX is glad to see that everyone is so considerate of Lan Zhan's health.
He's not particularly glad to discover that he's going to be quietly murdered in some discreet corner where Lan Zhan can't witness it. But then, nobody gets EVERYTHING they want out of life.
He's not particularly glad to discover that he's going to be quietly murdered in some discreet corner where Lan Zhan can't witness it. But then, nobody gets EVERYTHING they want out of life.
So for once, WWX clamps his mouth shut.
He doesn't pester LQR with a lot of excuses and counterarguments, the way he had years ago. He just shuffles along while LQR leads him to what appears to be his private study.
He doesn't pester LQR with a lot of excuses and counterarguments, the way he had years ago. He just shuffles along while LQR leads him to what appears to be his private study.
LQR slides the doors shut with more force than strictly necessary. But WWX doesn't point out that slamming doors is forbidden in CR. He's suddenly, desperately tired.
He only wants to know that the Wens are on their way here, safely guarded by some responsible Lan disciples.
He only wants to know that the Wens are on their way here, safely guarded by some responsible Lan disciples.
He wants to know that the Wens will be settled someplace safe, decently housed and protected. Then he wants to tumble into bed and sleep for roughly thirty years.
But LQR rounds on him as soon as the door is shut. WWX realizes he's not getting out of this discussion that easily.
But LQR rounds on him as soon as the door is shut. WWX realizes he's not getting out of this discussion that easily.
"Have the two of you married?" LQR asks crisply.
WWX sucks in a sharp breath and promptly chokes on his own saliva.
"What?!"
LQR seats himself behind a large desk. He glowers until WWX sinks down into a seated position, too.
WWX sucks in a sharp breath and promptly chokes on his own saliva.
"What?!"
LQR seats himself behind a large desk. He glowers until WWX sinks down into a seated position, too.
"You heard me, young man."
He taps a finger against the desktop. It's a strangely nervous motion for a man who can probably meditate for DAYS without twitching.
"Are the two of you promised to each other? Has there been some secret ceremony that Wangji has kept hidden?"
He taps a finger against the desktop. It's a strangely nervous motion for a man who can probably meditate for DAYS without twitching.
"Are the two of you promised to each other? Has there been some secret ceremony that Wangji has kept hidden?"
WWX stares at LQR. Then he stares at the glossy surface of the desk, the expensive wood polished to a gleaming shine.
It takes him a moment to understand that LQR is serious. It isn't some kind of bizarre prank.
It takes him a moment to understand that LQR is serious. It isn't some kind of bizarre prank.
LQR hasn't mysteriously developed a sense of humor in the months and years since WWX was a resident of his classroom.
He's serious. He's actually, seriously asking if WWX has...
"No." WWX's voice is oddly flat, but he can't really help that. "What?! No!"
He's serious. He's actually, seriously asking if WWX has...
"No." WWX's voice is oddly flat, but he can't really help that. "What?! No!"
He manages to put a little more force behind the words that time, and he draws himself up. It's a ridiculous idea, so he ought to object as forcibly as he can.
Of course he hasn't eloped with Lan Zhan, or whatever LQR is implying! Of course not!
Of course he hasn't eloped with Lan Zhan, or whatever LQR is implying! Of course not!
Lan Zhan wouldn't elope with anybody, for one thing. He would make sure to marry properly, with the full knowledge and approval of his elders!
And if he WAS going to elope, he certainly wouldn't do it with WWX!
And if he WAS going to elope, he certainly wouldn't do it with WWX!
He wouldn't run off to marry a man who's currently hated by ninety-eight percent of the cultivation world. He wouldn't marry a man who's turned to forbidden methods of cultivation.
Still, WWX feels an uncomfortable twitch at the back of his mind.
Still, WWX feels an uncomfortable twitch at the back of his mind.
Maybe the suggestion isn't THAT absurd. Not when Lan Zhan has brought him here and asked him to stay. WWX has a dim idea of how that must look to outsiders.
There are three eggs, and no husband or wife for Lan Zhan. And now WWX has blundered along for a visit.
There are three eggs, and no husband or wife for Lan Zhan. And now WWX has blundered along for a visit.
It must look awfuly suspicious.
But WWX stamps down on that corner of his mind fiercely.
Lan Zhan must have brought him here because he's good and kind. He tries to help people if they're in trouble, or if he thinks they're going down the wrong path.
But WWX stamps down on that corner of his mind fiercely.
Lan Zhan must have brought him here because he's good and kind. He tries to help people if they're in trouble, or if he thinks they're going down the wrong path.
That's all it is: kindness, pity, and the desire to do the right thing.
And moreover, Lan Zhan's probably not thinking right, what with the eggs and trying to raise them all by himself.
And moreover, Lan Zhan's probably not thinking right, what with the eggs and trying to raise them all by himself.
It's too much of a strain. He's not in his right mind. It has nothing whatsoever to do with WWX!
The Lans should know better. They should know that Lan Zhan wouldn't do something like elope.
WWX tries, in very stuttering tones, to explain this.
The Lans should know better. They should know that Lan Zhan wouldn't do something like elope.
WWX tries, in very stuttering tones, to explain this.
But LQR doesn't let him get in more than half a sentence. He talks right over WWX, wantonly violating the rules against interrupting.
"If you fathered Wangji's children," he says tersely, "then I expect you to tell me so."
WWX's mouth drops open yet again.
"If you fathered Wangji's children," he says tersely, "then I expect you to tell me so."
WWX's mouth drops open yet again.
"Lying is forbidden!" LQR adds sharply.
Then he folds his arms and glares at WWX. He look as if he expects some sort of tearful, conscience-stricken confession of guilt.
WWX's jaw slackens further.
Then he folds his arms and glares at WWX. He look as if he expects some sort of tearful, conscience-stricken confession of guilt.
WWX's jaw slackens further.
"I didn't! He told me nobody fathered them!"
WWX lurches forward.
"He said it just happened by itself! He said the eggs just CAME. He said that can happen in his clan!"
WWX lurches forward.
"He said it just happened by itself! He said the eggs just CAME. He said that can happen in his clan!"
Lan Zhan wouldn't lie about that.
WWX isn't sure of much anymore, but he's sure of that. If somebody helped Lan Zhan create his eggs, he would have said so.
And that somebody would never have been WWX. It's absurd that LQR thinks that HE had any chance at all.
WWX isn't sure of much anymore, but he's sure of that. If somebody helped Lan Zhan create his eggs, he would have said so.
And that somebody would never have been WWX. It's absurd that LQR thinks that HE had any chance at all.
LQR gives him a beady-eyed stare for a few minutes. Then his posture relaxes very slightly.
"It can."
He taps his finger against the table again. His tone is almost grudging as he adds, "Wangji also assured me that he hasn't mated with anyone."
"It can."
He taps his finger against the table again. His tone is almost grudging as he adds, "Wangji also assured me that he hasn't mated with anyone."
WWX feels a hot spike of indignation, and he straightens his spine.
"Well. Don't you think he's telling the truth?" He flexes his hands angrily in his lap. "Since when does Lan Zhan lie?"
"Well. Don't you think he's telling the truth?" He flexes his hands angrily in his lap. "Since when does Lan Zhan lie?"
LQR really ought to have more faith in his nephew! Lan Zhan deserves better than to be accused of lying and even sleeping around! LQR should apologize for even thinking such things!
But LQR only gives a vague, unsatisfied hum.
"He allowed you to touch them," LQR mutters.
But LQR only gives a vague, unsatisfied hum.
"He allowed you to touch them," LQR mutters.
All at once, WWX's anger drains away. It's replace by a sickening wash of embarrassment and guilt.
He clears his throat.
"Yes?"
He tries to sound indifferent. He tries to meet LQR's eyes boldly, as if there's nothing unusual in any of this.
But deep down, WWX knows better.
He clears his throat.
"Yes?"
He tries to sound indifferent. He tries to meet LQR's eyes boldly, as if there's nothing unusual in any of this.
But deep down, WWX knows better.
He doesn't know anything about dragon shifters and their nesting behavior. But he was raised in the Jiang clan, so he knows something about crane shifters.
He knows that the nesting chambers aren't open to just anybody.
He knows that the nesting chambers aren't open to just anybody.
He knows that Shijie is currently secluded away, living very quietly and privately while she works on hatching her own egg. He knows she probably doesn't have any visitors, aside from her husband and maybe JC.
Parents don't usually allow casual acquaintances to touch their eggs.
Parents don't usually allow casual acquaintances to touch their eggs.
In fact, the parents usually don't allow ANYBODY to touch the eggs.
WWX should have remembered that. But he was too desperately relieved when Lan Zhan said he didn't have a mate.
And the eggs were so pretty and shiny. He had WANTED to touch them.
WWX should have remembered that. But he was too desperately relieved when Lan Zhan said he didn't have a mate.
And the eggs were so pretty and shiny. He had WANTED to touch them.
He wanted to feel Lan Zhan's babies wiggling around, getting big and strong.
There hadn't seemed to be any harm in touching the eggs. Not if Lan Zhan didn't mind.
WWX hadn't expected to be CAUGHT at it, anyway.
There hadn't seemed to be any harm in touching the eggs. Not if Lan Zhan didn't mind.
WWX hadn't expected to be CAUGHT at it, anyway.
But he WAS caught.
And clearly, LQR isn't willing to look the other way. He gives WWX a hard, meaningful stare.
"We have several senior physicians in our clan," he says.
And clearly, LQR isn't willing to look the other way. He gives WWX a hard, meaningful stare.
"We have several senior physicians in our clan," he says.
It's a nonsensical statement, but WWX nods blankly.
"They are highly respected, and possess exceptional skill."
LQR leans forward.
"Our physicians have assisted with many hatchings, and they would do anything within their power to ensure the safety of Wangji's children."
"They are highly respected, and possess exceptional skill."
LQR leans forward.
"Our physicians have assisted with many hatchings, and they would do anything within their power to ensure the safety of Wangji's children."
LQR gives WWX another stare, like he ought to be catching on by now.
But WWX isn't quite sure where this is going. He nods some more and tries to marshal his scattered thoughts.
"When they attempted to examine the eggs," LQR says, slowly and pointedly, "Wangji bit them."
But WWX isn't quite sure where this is going. He nods some more and tries to marshal his scattered thoughts.
"When they attempted to examine the eggs," LQR says, slowly and pointedly, "Wangji bit them."
Somewhat against his will, WWX flushes.
That DOES sound like Lan Zhan. WWX has to admit that much. It sounds like something Lan Zhan would do if someone invaded his personal boundaries.
And of course he'd want to protect his eggs if someone tried to meddle with them.
That DOES sound like Lan Zhan. WWX has to admit that much. It sounds like something Lan Zhan would do if someone invaded his personal boundaries.
And of course he'd want to protect his eggs if someone tried to meddle with them.
WWX averts his eyes.
He kicks himself for it, because that makes it seems like he's guilty. Like he's done something wrong. And he's done plenty wrong - in LQR's view, at least - but he hasn't done anything wrong about this. He hasn't done...any of the things LQR is suggesting.
He kicks himself for it, because that makes it seems like he's guilty. Like he's done something wrong. And he's done plenty wrong - in LQR's view, at least - but he hasn't done anything wrong about this. He hasn't done...any of the things LQR is suggesting.
"I ask you," LQR murmurs, "why Wangji would allow you to handle his eggs, when he has hardly even permitted his own family to approach the nest."
His voice is soft and slightly dangerous. WWX curls his hand into fists under the table.
His voice is soft and slightly dangerous. WWX curls his hand into fists under the table.
It would be so easy to reach for a steadying stream of resentful energy.
But if he did that, he knows he'd be pitched headfirst out of CR.
Never mind that Lan Zhan had asked him to stay. Never mind that LQR and LXC had tacitly promised to help both WWX and the Wens.
But if he did that, he knows he'd be pitched headfirst out of CR.
Never mind that Lan Zhan had asked him to stay. Never mind that LQR and LXC had tacitly promised to help both WWX and the Wens.
If WWX drew any kind of weapon against LQR, he'd be kicked out before he could blink.
Maybe they wouldn't even let him walk away. Maybe they'd fight him, try to throw him in a prison cell. Maybe they'd try to execute him on the spot.
Maybe they wouldn't even let him walk away. Maybe they'd fight him, try to throw him in a prison cell. Maybe they'd try to execute him on the spot.
WWX digs his fingernails into his palm.
He can't afford to spoil things for the Wens. Not if one of the Great Sects is actually stepping forward to help them.
But he can't actually answer LQR's question, either. He doesn't KNOW why Lan Zhan let him touch the eggs.
He can't afford to spoil things for the Wens. Not if one of the Great Sects is actually stepping forward to help them.
But he can't actually answer LQR's question, either. He doesn't KNOW why Lan Zhan let him touch the eggs.
He doesn't know why Lan Zhan chased off everyone else, even the sect physicians, only to let WWX pick up one of his eggs.
WWX bites the inside of his cheek and keeps stubbornly silent.
LQR doesn't seem to appreciate that very much.
WWX bites the inside of his cheek and keeps stubbornly silent.
LQR doesn't seem to appreciate that very much.
"Have you supplied spiritual energy to the eggs?" he presses.
"No."
The word is like ash in WWX's mouth.
He couldn't, even if he wanted to. But he expects that at least LQR will be happy about that.
"No."
The word is like ash in WWX's mouth.
He couldn't, even if he wanted to. But he expects that at least LQR will be happy about that.
At least he'll think WWX is maintaining some boundaries, and not meddling with Lan Zhan's babies too much.
But LQR hardly looks satisfied. He gives WWX a long, evaluating stare.
After a strained silence, he speaks.
But LQR hardly looks satisfied. He gives WWX a long, evaluating stare.
After a strained silence, he speaks.
"To do so would be a claim of parenthood."
LQR's brow furrows, and his mouth tightens.
"We are supplying Wangji with energy so that he may keep up his strength. But we have not supplied energy directly to the egg. No one but the hatchlings' parents would do such a thing."
LQR's brow furrows, and his mouth tightens.
"We are supplying Wangji with energy so that he may keep up his strength. But we have not supplied energy directly to the egg. No one but the hatchlings' parents would do such a thing."
"Oh. Okay."
WWX's voice sounds rather dull, even to his own ears. But he can't help that. He's exhausted all over again.
It's for the best, then. If he were able to give the eggs energy, he might have done it already. He had wanted to, back there in Lan Zhan's bedroom.
WWX's voice sounds rather dull, even to his own ears. But he can't help that. He's exhausted all over again.
It's for the best, then. If he were able to give the eggs energy, he might have done it already. He had wanted to, back there in Lan Zhan's bedroom.
If were able to do it, then he might have DONE it, and then the Lans would really be furious with him.
And so would Lan Zhan, once he was clearheaded enough to realize what had happened. So this is definitely best.
WWX rocks back, listening as LQR plunges into a stern lecture.
And so would Lan Zhan, once he was clearheaded enough to realize what had happened. So this is definitely best.
WWX rocks back, listening as LQR plunges into a stern lecture.
"If you did not father these children, then you would do well to keep your distance."
WWX nods wearily.
"It is...not proper to touch eggs that do not belong to you."
LQR strokes his beard and frowns at WWX.
"It is not proper to spend time in the nesting chamber, either."
WWX nods wearily.
"It is...not proper to touch eggs that do not belong to you."
LQR strokes his beard and frowns at WWX.
"It is not proper to spend time in the nesting chamber, either."
WWX swallows again. His throat is tight.
"I understand," he says slowly.
He does. He really, really does. He understands that he has no business being in Lan Zhan's bedroom under any circumstances, but especially not now. He understood THAT from the moment he saw the eggs.
"I understand," he says slowly.
He does. He really, really does. He understands that he has no business being in Lan Zhan's bedroom under any circumstances, but especially not now. He understood THAT from the moment he saw the eggs.
Still, something in WWX's heart stirs mutinously.
"But Lan Zhan asked me to stay." WWX scratches at his knee. "I don't want to upset him by saying no."
He thinks LQR will get angry at this rebuttal. He's expecting it, bracing for it.
Instead, LQR's shoulders slump.
"But Lan Zhan asked me to stay." WWX scratches at his knee. "I don't want to upset him by saying no."
He thinks LQR will get angry at this rebuttal. He's expecting it, bracing for it.
Instead, LQR's shoulders slump.
He passes a hand over his face. Then he lets out a long sigh, and he sounds surprisingly weary.
"He should not have asked you to remain nearby. But he is not thinking clearly at present. It is not his fault," LQR adds swiftly.
"He should not have asked you to remain nearby. But he is not thinking clearly at present. It is not his fault," LQR adds swiftly.
He glares, as if WWX tried to throw any kind of blame on Lan Zhan.
"Wangji cannot be expected to view anything logically until the children have hatched. He isn't in his right mind. At the moment, he is driven by his basest instincts."
"Wangji cannot be expected to view anything logically until the children have hatched. He isn't in his right mind. At the moment, he is driven by his basest instincts."
LQR glowers for a moment. Then he almost wilts.
"Yet I dare not tell him so. There must be no arguments. He must not become distressed, or it will interfere with his ability to care for the eggs. Any disruptions with the nesting process may..."
LQR doesn't finish that thought.
"Yet I dare not tell him so. There must be no arguments. He must not become distressed, or it will interfere with his ability to care for the eggs. Any disruptions with the nesting process may..."
LQR doesn't finish that thought.
But there's something in his eyes WWX doesn't like. It's a sort of banked and muted fear, and it makes WWX heart lurch into his throat.
He can imagine what might happen if Lan Zhan gets too exhausted or upset. After all, the babies are entirely dependent on him.
He can imagine what might happen if Lan Zhan gets too exhausted or upset. After all, the babies are entirely dependent on him.
If something upsets Lan Zhan, it might destabilize his energy flow. He might not be able to feed the babies and keep them healthy. They might stop growing. They might never make it out of the egg.
WWX digs his nails into his palm until he draws blood.
WWX digs his nails into his palm until he draws blood.
He can't speak. His mouth is suddenly dry with fear. But LQR is talking again, in a firm decisive rush.
"Wangji has been distressed over your absence, and the uncertainty of your current situation. Therefore, these difficulties will be resolved."
LQR draws himself up.
"Wangji has been distressed over your absence, and the uncertainty of your current situation. Therefore, these difficulties will be resolved."
LQR draws himself up.
"Your...friends will be transported to a safe location. They will be guarded from harm and provided with the necessities of life."
LQR gives only a tiny grimace when he refers to the Wens. But his grimace deepens when he addresses WWX himself.
LQR gives only a tiny grimace when he refers to the Wens. But his grimace deepens when he addresses WWX himself.
"You will remain in Cloud Recesses until the eggs have hatched. You will do whatever is necessary to keep Wangji calm."
His eyes narrow, and they rake over WWX from head to toe.
"You will not use any of your forbidden cultivation methods while you are in residence here."
His eyes narrow, and they rake over WWX from head to toe.
"You will not use any of your forbidden cultivation methods while you are in residence here."
"Nor will you speak to the younger disciples!"
He pauses briefly and clears his throat. Then he plunges on.
"You will remain in the Jingshi, as Wangji requested. You will sit quietly and meditate. You will read the cultivation texts that I send to your room."
He pauses briefly and clears his throat. Then he plunges on.
"You will remain in the Jingshi, as Wangji requested. You will sit quietly and meditate. You will read the cultivation texts that I send to your room."
"And you will make yourself useful to Wangji."
He rises to his feet, as if he's entirely ready to be done with this conversation. WWX stands too, feeling suddenly unsteady.
He rises to his feet, as if he's entirely ready to be done with this conversation. WWX stands too, feeling suddenly unsteady.
Something deep in his chest wants to object, wants to fight. He always feels that way now, whenever someone tries to boss him around and cage him in. He wants to tear his way free of any restrictions like a snarling animal.
But WWX bites his tongue this time.
But WWX bites his tongue this time.
Lan Zhan. He has to think of Lan Zhan and the eggs. They can't make Lan Zhan upset, and they can't have any fighting around the babies.
LQR is making sacrifices on that score, and WWX knows it perfectly well. He knows that LQR doesn't want him in CR.
LQR is making sacrifices on that score, and WWX knows it perfectly well. He knows that LQR doesn't want him in CR.
LQR certainly doesn't want him inside Lan Zhan's room! But he's enduring it for the sake of Lan Zhan and the babies.
WWX can do the same.
And the restrictions LQR imposed aren't too bad. WWX doesn't mind helping out and looking after Lan Zhan. He doesn't mind that a bit!
WWX can do the same.
And the restrictions LQR imposed aren't too bad. WWX doesn't mind helping out and looking after Lan Zhan. He doesn't mind that a bit!
As for the rest (not talking to the disciples, pretending to meditate, languishing over tedious books that tell him he's destroying his body with demonic cultivation) he can bear that.
If Lan Zhan is safe and the Wens are safe, he can bear anything.
So WWX gives a jerky nod.
If Lan Zhan is safe and the Wens are safe, he can bear anything.
So WWX gives a jerky nod.
"I will tell the servants to bring suitable clothing and additional meals to the Jingshi. If you require any personal items, tell them and they will fetch what you need."
LQR crosses the room and slides open the door. WWX understands that he's been dismissed.
LQR crosses the room and slides open the door. WWX understands that he's been dismissed.
He forces himself to give a polite bow and turns to leave. But LQR's voice stops him in his tracks.
"Wei Wuxian!"
WWX pauses on the threshold and turns back.
There's an odd expression on LQR's face. But after a moment, it disappears. He looks very stern.
"Wei Wuxian!"
WWX pauses on the threshold and turns back.
There's an odd expression on LQR's face. But after a moment, it disappears. He looks very stern.
"If anything goes wrong with the hatching, I will hold you personally responsible!"
WWX bows again.
He doesn't bother to say anything more. He's used to being held personally responsible for thinks that aren't really under his control, and there's no point in arguing.
WWX bows again.
He doesn't bother to say anything more. He's used to being held personally responsible for thinks that aren't really under his control, and there's no point in arguing.
Besides, he means to make good on his promises. If it's within his power to make sure that Lan Zhan's babies are born healthy, then he'll do it.
And if it isn't within his power, then he'll just have to do it anyway.
And if it isn't within his power, then he'll just have to do it anyway.
He doesn't think the Jiang ancestors had dragon-hatching in mind when they came up with the motto "Attempt the impossible". But WWX intends to use that motto anyway.
He'll make sure Lan Zhan stays healthy and the babies stay fed, even if he can't give them any energy himself.
He'll make sure Lan Zhan stays healthy and the babies stay fed, even if he can't give them any energy himself.
So WWX sets his jaw and adjusts his threadbare robes. Then he tromps through the snow and heads back to Lan Zhan's nesting chamber.
(Pausing here! More soonish!
And a bump to the top:
And a bump to the top:
https://twitter.com/cicerfics/status/1417224791208120322)
🐉🥚🥚🥚
WWX settles into CR more easily than he might have expected.
If the Lans have a problem with him staying there, they don't say so. In fact, WWX hardly sees any of them.
WWX settles into CR more easily than he might have expected.
If the Lans have a problem with him staying there, they don't say so. In fact, WWX hardly sees any of them.
Every so often, he speaks briefly with LXC.
LXC gives WWX a few strange, assessing looks, but he doesn't say much. He doesn't make a fuss when he finds out that WWX is staying in Lan Zhan's rooms. And he promises to handle the situation with the Wens as best he can.
LXC gives WWX a few strange, assessing looks, but he doesn't say much. He doesn't make a fuss when he finds out that WWX is staying in Lan Zhan's rooms. And he promises to handle the situation with the Wens as best he can.
LQR makes a few visits to the Jingshi, dropping off books he wants WWX to read.
As expected, they're all about morality and virtue and the importance of orthodox cultivation methods. WWX forces himself to accept the books without complaint. He even promises to read them.
As expected, they're all about morality and virtue and the importance of orthodox cultivation methods. WWX forces himself to accept the books without complaint. He even promises to read them.
LQR responds with a sharp LOOK, like he knows what those promises are worth. But he doesn't argue. He really seems very earnest in his wish to avoid upsetting Lan Zhan. WWX has to be grateful for that.
Aside from LXC and LQR, WWX doesn't see anyone except the occasional servant.
They come to the Jingshi three times a day to deliver food and clean clothing. Sometimes they prepare baths, too. But they don't say much to WWX.
They come to the Jingshi three times a day to deliver food and clean clothing. Sometimes they prepare baths, too. But they don't say much to WWX.
He assumes they're under orders not to communicate with the dangerous cultivator in their midst.
The only person who doesn't give WWX any suspicious, assessing glances is Lan Zhan. He seems perfectly happy to have WWX nearby.
The only person who doesn't give WWX any suspicious, assessing glances is Lan Zhan. He seems perfectly happy to have WWX nearby.
If he ever had any objections to WWX's cultivation methods, he doesn't mention them now. He only objects to WWX's recent weight loss, and he forces WWX to eat at least half of every tray of food. The servants bring absurdly large portions, so WWX doesn't feel too bad about that.
Lan Zhan doesn't ask questions anymore. The last few times they met, he was FULL of questions: Why have you stopped carrying your sword? Why have you started practicing these wicked tricks? Wei Ying, don't you know that demonic cultivation harms the body and mind?
But Lan Zhan seems to have forgotten about all that.
WWX has no desire to remind him. Lan Zhan seems pretty happy nowadays, snuggled into bed with his eggs, and WWX intends to keep him that way.
WWX has no desire to remind him. Lan Zhan seems pretty happy nowadays, snuggled into bed with his eggs, and WWX intends to keep him that way.
He's funny like this. It reminds WWX a little of the time Lan Zhan got drunk, except better.
Back then, Lan Zhan was loopy but still cranky. He huffed at WWX and quoted the rules, even when he was too drunk to stand up straight.
Back then, Lan Zhan was loopy but still cranky. He huffed at WWX and quoted the rules, even when he was too drunk to stand up straight.
Now, Lan Zhan reminds WWX of the old men he always saw around Lotus Pier: drinking wine and napping on the docks, sunwarmed and relaxed.
He likes to see Lan Zhan this way. Lan Zhan should be exactly this happy and comfortable, every day, forever.
He likes to see Lan Zhan this way. Lan Zhan should be exactly this happy and comfortable, every day, forever.
Lan Zhan's contentment is the only thing that soothes WWX when he feels restless about the Wens. It's the only thing that calms him when LXC offers AGAIN to play Cleansing for WWX, or bring the physicians over for a consult.
Whenever that happens, WWX wants to sprint straight through the gates of CR and never come back.
But then he goes back into the Jingshi and sees Lan Zhan curled happily around his eggs and he remembers why he wants to stay.
But then he goes back into the Jingshi and sees Lan Zhan curled happily around his eggs and he remembers why he wants to stay.
They're getting bigger. The eggs, that is.
WWX was relieved to discover that they weren't this big when Lan Zhan delivered them. They were much smaller then, Lan Zhan says. But as long as he feeds them with his own spiritual energy, they'll keep growing.
WWX was relieved to discover that they weren't this big when Lan Zhan delivered them. They were much smaller then, Lan Zhan says. But as long as he feeds them with his own spiritual energy, they'll keep growing.
They'll get bigger and bigger until the babies are ready to hatch.
They look pretty big now, but Lan Zhan says they won't hatch for a while longer. The physicians could give a more precise timetable, but Lan Zhan still won't let them examine the eggs.
They look pretty big now, but Lan Zhan says they won't hatch for a while longer. The physicians could give a more precise timetable, but Lan Zhan still won't let them examine the eggs.
At least he finally allowed the physicians to examine HIM.
Only after a lot of cajoling, though. Only after WWX promised to stay in the room and throw the physicians out himself if they did anything Lan Zhan didn't like.
Only after a lot of cajoling, though. Only after WWX promised to stay in the room and throw the physicians out himself if they did anything Lan Zhan didn't like.
But WWX diligently closed his eyes for most of the examination, since the physicians decided they needed to peel back the sheets.
Lan Zhan apparently doesn't see any purpose in wearing clothes while he's nesting, and it's driving WWX completely insane.
Lan Zhan apparently doesn't see any purpose in wearing clothes while he's nesting, and it's driving WWX completely insane.
After the exam, the physicians said he was healthy enough. His reserves were a little low, maybe. But LXC keeps giving him energy, and WWX makes sure he eats.
He draws a bath for Lan Zhan every night, too.
He draws a bath for Lan Zhan every night, too.
He puts the eggs in a little basket to stay warm in front of the fire while Lan Zhan bathes. Then WWX changes the bedding and prepares a pot of the tea the physicians keep sending over.
It's supposed to help Lan Zhan keep his strength up. WWX thinks it's working well enough.
It's supposed to help Lan Zhan keep his strength up. WWX thinks it's working well enough.
But he won't let himself think of what's really bothering him: the fact that he can't help Lan Zhan in any meaningful way.
He can't help feed the eggs. He can't do anything but brew tea or change the sheets, just like any ordinary servant.
He can't help feed the eggs. He can't do anything but brew tea or change the sheets, just like any ordinary servant.
Still, he tells himself that this is enough. If Lan Zhan is healthy and the eggs are growing well, then it's enough. It would be selfish to wish for more.
He has too much time on his hands. That's the trouble.
He has too much time on his hands. That's the trouble.
Lan Zhan sleeps most of the day, and looking after him when he's awake doesn't take that much time.
WWX makes a pretense at reading LQR's books, and he pretends to meditate whenever the servants come around. But he spends most of his time on his talismans and his research.
WWX makes a pretense at reading LQR's books, and he pretends to meditate whenever the servants come around. But he spends most of his time on his talismans and his research.
He works up as many protective charms as he can and carves them into anything he can lay hands on. He intends to load both Lan Zhan and Shijie down with every protection he can offer.
WWX makes bracelets and amulets for the babies, things they can hang over their cribs to drive away everything from scorpions to yao.
And when he's done with that, he asks LXC to bring him books about looking after babies.
And when he's done with that, he asks LXC to bring him books about looking after babies.
He knows how to protect babies by driving away insects, rabid animals, and evil spiritis. But he doesn't really know what else babies need, and he feels like he ought to find out.
He studies the books LXC brings with a lot more effort and energy than he dedicated to LQR's texts.
He studies the books LXC brings with a lot more effort and energy than he dedicated to LQR's texts.
And he writes to Shijie too, asking about the nesting process and how to make sure babies hatch successfully.
But he tears up the letter before he can send it.
But he tears up the letter before he can send it.
She must know all about that sort of thing, especially now that she's hatching her own egg.
But as he looks over his letter, WWX realizes he can't send it. She'd tell him everything she knows, but she'd also want to know WHY he wants to know about this sort of thing.
But as he looks over his letter, WWX realizes he can't send it. She'd tell him everything she knows, but she'd also want to know WHY he wants to know about this sort of thing.
And she'd probably jump to some...unfortunate conclusions. She'd think he's found a mate and has babies on the way. WWX can't bear to raise her hopes.
He's raising his own hopes, though. He realizes that about a week after he arrives in CR.
He's raising his own hopes, though. He realizes that about a week after he arrives in CR.
He's playacting as Lan Zhan's mate, pretending the babies are his.
He doesn't MEAN to do it. But Lan Zhan inexplicably asked him to stay, and the Lans inexplicably tasked him with looking after Lan Zhan.
And WWX can't bear to give that job anything less than full effort.
He doesn't MEAN to do it. But Lan Zhan inexplicably asked him to stay, and the Lans inexplicably tasked him with looking after Lan Zhan.
And WWX can't bear to give that job anything less than full effort.
And looking after Lan Zhan naturally means looking after the eggs, too.
So he holds the eggs and talks to them, because he thinks that must be good for their development. He tells them about the world outside, all the things they'll get to see and do once they're big enough.
So he holds the eggs and talks to them, because he thinks that must be good for their development. He tells them about the world outside, all the things they'll get to see and do once they're big enough.
He tells them they're very lucky to be born to Lan Zhan, and they should always be obedient children for him.
Lan Zhan smiles at that. He smiles openly, and WWX spends the rest of the day in a haze. At one point, he walks directly into the wall.
Lan Zhan smiles at that. He smiles openly, and WWX spends the rest of the day in a haze. At one point, he walks directly into the wall.
He can't even focus on where he's going for hours. It's terrible.
But he still gives the eggs nicknames: Little Blue, Little Shimmer, and Little Wave. He can't see anything of them but their shells, so he names them based on the dominant shell patterns.
But he still gives the eggs nicknames: Little Blue, Little Shimmer, and Little Wave. He can't see anything of them but their shells, so he names them based on the dominant shell patterns.
The babies will need proper names once they're hatched, so WWX tries to persuade Lan Zhan to tell him the names he likes best.
He's planning to make a list, and maybe send it off with LXC. He can consult with a fortune-teller and find out which of the names are the luckiest.
He's planning to make a list, and maybe send it off with LXC. He can consult with a fortune-teller and find out which of the names are the luckiest.
But Lan Zhan won't make any suggestions, or agree to send for a fortune-teller.
"Wei Ying can choose the children's names," he says sleepily.
Just as if WWX has any right to do that!
"Wei Ying can choose the children's names," he says sleepily.
Just as if WWX has any right to do that!
...He thinks that maybe Lan Zhan is playacting, too.
Of course, he can't be doing it on purpose. It must be instinctual. Lan Zhan has three eggs but no mate, and WWX keeps hanging around the nesting chamber.
Of course, he can't be doing it on purpose. It must be instinctual. Lan Zhan has three eggs but no mate, and WWX keeps hanging around the nesting chamber.
Maybe some primitive part of Lan Zhan's mind assumes that anyone who keeps bringing him food and clean bedding MUST be his children's father.
He's started asking to put WWX's clothes in the nest, too. WWX nearly died on the spot the first time Lan Zhan made that request.
He's started asking to put WWX's clothes in the nest, too. WWX nearly died on the spot the first time Lan Zhan made that request.
Then he hemmed and hawed. He said something about how that wasn't really proper.
Lan Zhan looked disappointed, so WWX hastened to add that of course HE had no objection. But the Lan elders probably wouldn't like it.
Lan Zhan looked disappointed, so WWX hastened to add that of course HE had no objection. But the Lan elders probably wouldn't like it.
The elders wouldn't want Lan Zhan to do that sort of thing with anyone except his lawful spouse. They would think it's very scandalous and improper.
Lan Zhan's eyes flashed at that. He said that if the elders objected, they could take it up with him.
Lan Zhan's eyes flashed at that. He said that if the elders objected, they could take it up with him.
WWX panicked. He remembered what LQR had said about how Lan Zhan mustn't get upset or argue with anyone, or it might put the eggs at risk.
He meekly handed over his dirty laundry, and Lan Zhan whisked it into the nest with an air of triumph.
He meekly handed over his dirty laundry, and Lan Zhan whisked it into the nest with an air of triumph.
WWX was so flustered he spent the whole evening writing a long letter to JC about his trials and tribulations. Then he remembered he couldn't send THAT letter either, and he tore it up too.
The only letter he actually sends off is the one to WQ.
The only letter he actually sends off is the one to WQ.
She sent him a short note to say that they had arrived safely in a small village not far from CR.
Calling it a village, she said, was a bit generous. There weren't really any shops, just a handful of empty houses and a few fields that lay fallow.
Calling it a village, she said, was a bit generous. There weren't really any shops, just a handful of empty houses and a few fields that lay fallow.
But it was a good enough spot, and she didn't intend to complain.
It was a tight fit for their group, she said. But everyone had a roof over their head and a bed to sleep on. The Lans had set up some wards and brought supplies.
It was a tight fit for their group, she said. But everyone had a roof over their head and a bed to sleep on. The Lans had set up some wards and brought supplies.
There was a good well nearby, and the fields weren't in bad shape. She thought they could make something of the place, if they were allowed to try.
WWX supposed that they WOULD be allowed.
WWX supposed that they WOULD be allowed.
LXC was tightlipped about the political situation, but he said their sect disciples would check the village three times a day. They would make sure the Wens were safe. And they would supply food until the Wens could get the fields planted and buy some livestock.
LXC would manage things with the other sect leaders, he said.
His tone suggested that WWX was not to worry about this, and DEFINITELY not to involve himself in any of these discussions.
It made WWX feel restless and itchy.
His tone suggested that WWX was not to worry about this, and DEFINITELY not to involve himself in any of these discussions.
It made WWX feel restless and itchy.
WWX stewed over that conversation for quite a while.
He hadn't much faith in the sects, or any conviction that they would leave the Wens alone. He also wasn't sure that LXC would stand firm if the other sects tried to bully him about it.
He hadn't much faith in the sects, or any conviction that they would leave the Wens alone. He also wasn't sure that LXC would stand firm if the other sects tried to bully him about it.
But even if the peace didn't last, it was a chance to rest. The Wens were somewhere warm and clean and dry. They had full bellies, WQ said. Even if it didn't last, it was better than nothing.
At any rate, the letter from WQ loosened a little knot of tension in his chest.
At any rate, the letter from WQ loosened a little knot of tension in his chest.
He found it easier to breathe after that...easier to look after Lan Zhan...easier to tend the eggs.
If the Wens were safe, then it was all right to just think of Lan Zhan for a little while. It wouldn't hurt anyone.
If the Wens were safe, then it was all right to just think of Lan Zhan for a little while. It wouldn't hurt anyone.
After all, even LQR had told him to focus all his energy on Lan Zhan's health and safety!
But that night, WWX reread WQ's letter three times, picking at the corner of the paper.
WQ was going to come up the mountain soon, if they'd let her.
But that night, WWX reread WQ's letter three times, picking at the corner of the paper.
WQ was going to come up the mountain soon, if they'd let her.
She'd bring A-Yuan, because he was begging to see 'Xian-gege' and because she thought it would help to remind the Lans that there was a child among the Wens who needed their protection.
A-Yuan had also heard about the Lan dragons, and he wanted to see them for himself.
A-Yuan had also heard about the Lan dragons, and he wanted to see them for himself.
WWX didn't think the rest of the Lans would be willing to transform for the benefit of a small boy. He'd long since learned that they were very reluctant to show their dragon form to outsiders.
But Lan Zhan perked up when WWX told him about the letter.
But Lan Zhan perked up when WWX told him about the letter.
He'd shared a lot of stories about A-Yuan already. Just so Lan Zhan knew what to expect when his babies become rambunctious toddlers who begged for toys and treats!
Lan Zhan had seemed very interested in these stories, and interested in A-Yuan's welfare.
Lan Zhan had seemed very interested in these stories, and interested in A-Yuan's welfare.
"He may come," Lan Zhan said, when WWX mentioned the possible visit. "If he would like to see a dragon, I will transform for him."
Lan Zhan curled around the eggs, freshly warmed from their time in front of the fire while Lan Zhan took his bath.
Lan Zhan curled around the eggs, freshly warmed from their time in front of the fire while Lan Zhan took his bath.
"He may look at the eggs, too," Lan Zhan added.
WWX fought back a smile and ducked his head, suddenly overcome.
That was a privilege A-Yuan wouldn't even know to value.
WWX fought back a smile and ducked his head, suddenly overcome.
That was a privilege A-Yuan wouldn't even know to value.
A-Yuan wouldn't have any idea that several respected physicians had been bitten for daring to sneak a glimpse of Lan Zhan's eggs!
And here Lan Zhan was, offering that honor to a little boy he didn't even know.
And here Lan Zhan was, offering that honor to a little boy he didn't even know.
But that was just like Lan Zhan, after all. He always had such a reputation of being stern, but WWX couldn't remember ever hearing about Lan Zhan being harsh with children.
He would be a good parent. WWX knew that already. Lan Zhan would be gentle and patient and kind.
He would be a good parent. WWX knew that already. Lan Zhan would be gentle and patient and kind.
He would bring up his children to be strong cultivators and good people. He'd protect them and look after them. They would never want for anything that was within Lan Zhan's power to give.
The eggs were very lucky, indeed.
The eggs were very lucky, indeed.
WWX reached out and adjusted the sleeve of one of his own robes, currently draped over the eggs.
A thousand words crowded up in his throat. But he swallowed them all down. There was no need to say anything more. None of this belonged to him; none of this was his to discuss.
A thousand words crowded up in his throat. But he swallowed them all down. There was no need to say anything more. None of this belonged to him; none of this was his to discuss.
He smoothed the blankets instead and waited for Lan Zhan to fall asleep.
Then he turned back to the fire. He hunched over the desk that held his half-finished talismans, and spent the rest of the night with his eyes determinedly fixed on his work.
Then he turned back to the fire. He hunched over the desk that held his half-finished talismans, and spent the rest of the night with his eyes determinedly fixed on his work.
(Pausing here! More tomorrow or Tuesday!
Next up: a conversation between LXC and LQR, and some details about the Lan family history.)
Next up: a conversation between LXC and LQR, and some details about the Lan family history.)
(🐉🥚🥚🥚
This next bit is stupid long, please mute me as needed!
CW: Brief mentions of a child (NOT one of LWJ's babies!) dying during the hatching process.)
This next bit is stupid long, please mute me as needed!
CW: Brief mentions of a child (NOT one of LWJ's babies!) dying during the hatching process.)
Now, then. There is, in fact, a world outside the nesting chamber!
WWX isn't thinking of it much, and LWJ isn't thinking of it at all. But while LWJ has been caring for his eggs, the world has continued to turn.
WWX isn't thinking of it much, and LWJ isn't thinking of it at all. But while LWJ has been caring for his eggs, the world has continued to turn.
The knowledge that the Lans have taken in the Wen remnants isn't widely known. After all, the Lans are the undisputed masters of quashing gossip!
So everything has been handled as quietly as possible. The Lan disciples involved in resettling the Wens have been keeping mum.
So everything has been handled as quietly as possible. The Lan disciples involved in resettling the Wens have been keeping mum.
But LXC was forced to discuss the fate of the Wens with the other sect leaders.
He couldn't possibly keep this a secret. He had to handle the political angle very carefully, and he's been rushing all over the place during the last week.
He couldn't possibly keep this a secret. He had to handle the political angle very carefully, and he's been rushing all over the place during the last week.
He's been writing umpteen letter to other sect leaders. The Lan elders have been writing umpteen letters to other sect elders.
It has been something of an ordeal. But things have quieted down enough for LXC to sit with his uncle for a nice cup of tea.
It has been something of an ordeal. But things have quieted down enough for LXC to sit with his uncle for a nice cup of tea.
LXC regards this quiet, peaceful tea party with mild apprehension. The political seas aren't too stormy at the moment, but LXC isn't sure that the same can be said for their domestic sphere.
There are Things To Be Discussed between LXC and his uncle.
There are Things To Be Discussed between LXC and his uncle.
And he is not altogether sure that his uncle will enjoy discussing them.
But LXC soldiers on. He pours out the tea and they sit in silence for a while, watching the snow fall outside.
When LXC breaks the silence, he makes sure to begin with the proper compliments.
But LXC soldiers on. He pours out the tea and they sit in silence for a while, watching the snow fall outside.
When LXC breaks the silence, he makes sure to begin with the proper compliments.
"Wangji is not yet clearheaded enough to appreciate the trouble that Uncle and the elders have gone to on his behalf."
He sets his cup down and gives his uncle a shallow bow.
"Please allow me to thank you on his behalf."
He sets his cup down and gives his uncle a shallow bow.
"Please allow me to thank you on his behalf."
Nothing less vital than Wangji's well-being could have persuaded the elders to get involved in this matter, particularly when their sect is still rebuilding. LXC knows that.
And nothing less than the safety of his three unhatched children could have persuaded the elders to accept WWX into Cloud Recesses.
LXC knows that, too. He's still a little shocked that he actually managed to make this happen.
LXC knows that, too. He's still a little shocked that he actually managed to make this happen.
When Wangji begged him to find WWX and bring him to the nesting chamber, LXC had expected his uncle to flatly refuse.
He was prepared to kneel for hours and beg their uncle to agree.
He was prepared to kneel for hours and beg their uncle to agree.
But Uncle had set his jaw and strode off to make arrangements for a trip to the Burial Mounds.
LXC hadn't been reduced to begging then, and he hasn't been reduced to it then. The elders have agreed to rehome the Wens, and they have tolerated WWX's presence in Cloud Recesses.
LXC hadn't been reduced to begging then, and he hasn't been reduced to it then. The elders have agreed to rehome the Wens, and they have tolerated WWX's presence in Cloud Recesses.
LXC accepts that they might have been moved by the plight of the little boy and the elderly Wens.
He accepts that some of the elders were never particularly pleased with the idea of executing everyone connected with Wen Ruohan.
He accepts that some of the elders were never particularly pleased with the idea of executing everyone connected with Wen Ruohan.
He accepts that they would prefer to extend mercy and compassion to a fallen enemy. It's nothing more nor less than what their own sect disciplines advise.
But he's rather shocked by their tolerance for WWX.
But he's rather shocked by their tolerance for WWX.
The most orthodox elders must feel that WWX has already passed the point of reformation. They had not approved of the use of demonic cultivation, even for the sake of ending the war. They certainly wouldn't accept its use after the war was over.
But Uncle only sighs.
But Uncle only sighs.
"You have gone to twice as much trouble as I have," he remarks rather gruffly. "If Wangji should thank anyone, he should thank you."
LXC acknowledges this with a very slight dip of his chin.
Uncle gazes out the window and sighs again.
LXC acknowledges this with a very slight dip of his chin.
Uncle gazes out the window and sighs again.
"But there was nothing else to be done. The Jins..."
His mouth compresses into a thin line. He sounds as angry as LXC has ever heard him.
"Of course, we should have realized we couldn't trust a word they said!"
His mouth compresses into a thin line. He sounds as angry as LXC has ever heard him.
"Of course, we should have realized we couldn't trust a word they said!"
"We ought to have investigated the fate of the non-cultivators left behind in Wen territory. It was our carelessness and distraction that allowed this problem to worsen. We must try to mend matters now, and serve as an example to the other sects."
LXC inclines his head again.
LXC inclines his head again.
He certainly has no objection. In fact, he used these arguments himself, both with the elders and the other sect leaders.
Executing those who fought under Wen Ruohan's banner might be justified.
Executing those who fought under Wen Ruohan's banner might be justified.
One might even argue that they must accept a certain amount of unofficial revenge after the war ended. There was no shortage of people wronged by Wen Ruohan, and the weeks after his death were chaotic.
But it has been months since the end of the war. There can be no excuse for continuing to persecute non-cultivators who bear the Wen name.
They should have viewed the Jins' claims - that their prisons held only Wen cultivators and trained fighters - with greater suspicion.
They should have viewed the Jins' claims - that their prisons held only Wen cultivators and trained fighters - with greater suspicion.
LXC can see now that it was a gross mistake to allow those claims to go unverified.
"I have spoken to Sect Leader Jiang," he remarks. "Naturally, he has no objection to any arrangement that ensures Wei Wuxian's safety. Nor does he have any wish to persecute the Wen remnants."
"I have spoken to Sect Leader Jiang," he remarks. "Naturally, he has no objection to any arrangement that ensures Wei Wuxian's safety. Nor does he have any wish to persecute the Wen remnants."
In truth, Jiang Wanyin had seemed rather relieved once he heard the news...if a bit shocked and discomfited.
LXC knew that this situation put him in an awkward position. After all, he was the young leader of a sect nearly wiped out by the Wens.
LXC knew that this situation put him in an awkward position. After all, he was the young leader of a sect nearly wiped out by the Wens.
He must publicly oppose the Wens in every respect, and he couldn't afford to appear weak or overly merciful.
WWX's connection to the Jiang clan made the matter infinitely more precarious. It had left Sect Leader Jiang's hands tied.
WWX's connection to the Jiang clan made the matter infinitely more precarious. It had left Sect Leader Jiang's hands tied.
But he had not been sorry to hear that WWX had been removed from the Burial Mounds and placed under the guardianship of another sect.
He hadn't even appeared sorry to hear that the Wens were to be quietly and peacefully relocated.
He hadn't even appeared sorry to hear that the Wens were to be quietly and peacefully relocated.
LXC was left with the impression that he already knew that these survivors weren't the dangerous warriors that rumor had claimed.
"Sect Leader Nie had some objections," LXC adds. "But he calmed down once he learned that there were children and elderly among the group."
"Sect Leader Nie had some objections," LXC adds. "But he calmed down once he learned that there were children and elderly among the group."
Poor A-Jue had not taken the news especially well. He swung between furious mistrust of anyone who bore the Wen surname, and outrage at the idea of a helpless child thrown into a work camp.
In the end, he settled on directing his anger toward Jin Guangshan.
In the end, he settled on directing his anger toward Jin Guangshan.
"He is angry with the Jins now." LXC sips his tea. "He blames Jin Guangshan for deliberately misleading us about the state of affairs at the prison camps and the nature of the prisoners they had taken."
LQR draws himself up, his expression darkening.
"As he should!" he snaps. "Sect Leader Jin was slow to join the fight against an armed enemy, but quick torment his captives. What else can be said about such a man?"
"As he should!" he snaps. "Sect Leader Jin was slow to join the fight against an armed enemy, but quick torment his captives. What else can be said about such a man?"
A-Jue had a great deal to say, but LXC doesn't think it would be wise to repeat it here.
They are in Cloud Recesses, after all. There are rules prohibiting hasty or profane speech.
Uncle grimly studies a painted scroll hanging on the wall.
They are in Cloud Recesses, after all. There are rules prohibiting hasty or profane speech.
Uncle grimly studies a painted scroll hanging on the wall.
"If the Lans, Jins, and Nies are in agreement that these survivors should be relocated, then the Jins will not dare to argue." Uncle gives a brisk nod. "They will hardly wish to quarrel with all their allies over the fate of a few dozen non-cultivators."
LXC is gambling on just such an outcome.
If the Jins wish to make matters difficult, they certainly can. But he hopes that JGS will decide that the Wens remnants aren't worth the trouble.
If the Jins wish to make matters difficult, they certainly can. But he hopes that JGS will decide that the Wens remnants aren't worth the trouble.
"They were happy enough to drive these men and women into an early grave," Uncle concludes. "So it can make no difference to the Jins what happens to them now."
LXC hesitates. If Uncle is inclined to take that sort of view, he hardly wants to discourage it.
LXC hesitates. If Uncle is inclined to take that sort of view, he hardly wants to discourage it.
But there is a certain matter they must discuss.
"I believe," he says slowly, "that it might make a great difference to them what happens to Wei Wuxian."
The fate of the surviving Wens - most of whom lacked even a weak golden core - didn't matter much to the sects now.
"I believe," he says slowly, "that it might make a great difference to them what happens to Wei Wuxian."
The fate of the surviving Wens - most of whom lacked even a weak golden core - didn't matter much to the sects now.
But WWX poses a far more significant threat. He is a matter of far greater interest.
Uncle bristles at the name.
"He is no longer any business of the Jins. Wei Wuxian will remain here."
Uncle bristles at the name.
"He is no longer any business of the Jins. Wei Wuxian will remain here."
His voice is brisk, curt.
"He will stay in the custody of the Lans until we are certain that he has repented of his offenses and returned to the correct path."
They are circling the point now. LXC traces a thumb along the edge of his teacup.
"He will stay in the custody of the Lans until we are certain that he has repented of his offenses and returned to the correct path."
They are circling the point now. LXC traces a thumb along the edge of his teacup.
"And if he does not agree...?"
If WWX willingly turned himself over the Lans - submitted to treatment to purge any lingering resentful energy and entered seclusion to recommit to orthodox forms of cultivation - then the matter could be handled quite easily.
If WWX willingly turned himself over the Lans - submitted to treatment to purge any lingering resentful energy and entered seclusion to recommit to orthodox forms of cultivation - then the matter could be handled quite easily.
It would not be the first time the Lan sect sheltered a cultivator who was unwell or unstable.
But if WWX demands to be released, they have little authority to keep him there.
...It would, perhaps, be best for the cultivation world if someone forced the issue.
But if WWX demands to be released, they have little authority to keep him there.
...It would, perhaps, be best for the cultivation world if someone forced the issue.
If someone COMPELLED WWX to seek treatment.
But when LXC thinks of imprisoning WWX against his will, he feels vaguely sick. He can't bear to think what that would do to Wangji.
Uncle doesn't seem to share LXC's misgivings. He gives a soft and thoroughly inelegant snort.
But when LXC thinks of imprisoning WWX against his will, he feels vaguely sick. He can't bear to think what that would do to Wangji.
Uncle doesn't seem to share LXC's misgivings. He gives a soft and thoroughly inelegant snort.
"He will agree to anything Wangji asks just now."
Uncle sounds rather sour about that fact. But LXC smiles involuntarily.
He would like to believe it's true. WWX certainly seems anxious to ensure Wangji's safety and comfort.
Uncle sounds rather sour about that fact. But LXC smiles involuntarily.
He would like to believe it's true. WWX certainly seems anxious to ensure Wangji's safety and comfort.
So far as LXC can tell, WWX hasn't tried to refuse Wangji anything. He's been altogether more pliant than LXC had hoped when he set off for the Burial Mounds with Uncle in tow.
"He seems very concerned about Wangji's health, and the health of the children," LXC admits.
"He seems very concerned about Wangji's health, and the health of the children," LXC admits.
LXC dares to circle the point more closely.
"I realize it's an imposition to have him in residence. But I am glad that Uncle and the elders agreed to it."
Uncle's expression sours further than ever.
"We could hardly refuse," he huffs, "when Wangji was so set on it."
"I realize it's an imposition to have him in residence. But I am glad that Uncle and the elders agreed to it."
Uncle's expression sours further than ever.
"We could hardly refuse," he huffs, "when Wangji was so set on it."
A rather awkward pause follows.
Under normal circumstances, LXC would allow it to pass. He wouldn't press the issue, not when Uncle is clearly trying to avoid it.
But he feels that they can't afford to talk around this matter anymore.
Under normal circumstances, LXC would allow it to pass. He wouldn't press the issue, not when Uncle is clearly trying to avoid it.
But he feels that they can't afford to talk around this matter anymore.
So he takes a deep breath and straightens his spine.
"You could have refused," he says gently. "They are not mated or married. The children are not Wei Wuxian's. He has no irrevocable right to remain here."
"You could have refused," he says gently. "They are not mated or married. The children are not Wei Wuxian's. He has no irrevocable right to remain here."
If the children had belonged to Wei Wuxian - if there had been some sort of secret marriage, as Uncle initially feared when he saw the eggs - then the situation would have been far more difficult.
It would have been hard to bar Wei Wuxian from his own spouse and children.
It would have been hard to bar Wei Wuxian from his own spouse and children.
But if he had no formal tie to Wangji and the eggs, then he had no right to remain in Cloud Recesses. It's rather astonishing that Uncle ever allowed this.
Uncle's face clouds over. He turns to stare out the window once more, and his eyes are far away.
Uncle's face clouds over. He turns to stare out the window once more, and his eyes are far away.
For a long moment, LXC thinks his uncle will not speak. He expects Uncle to change the subject and turn their conversation down another path.
Instead, Uncle lets out a shaky sigh.
Instead, Uncle lets out a shaky sigh.
"You will not remember this," he murmurs. "After all, we took great care to ensure that neither you nor Wangji ever learned of this when you were young. But..."
LXC's stomach gives an uncomfortable jolt. He finds himself sitting straighter than ever.
LXC's stomach gives an uncomfortable jolt. He finds himself sitting straighter than ever.
Uncle is quiet for some time. Then he folds his hands and speaks.
"Some months after your mother's passing, your father produced an egg."
LXC draws in a sharp, quick breath. But Uncle doesn't even turn his way. He's still staring fixedly out the window at the gentle snowfall.
"Some months after your mother's passing, your father produced an egg."
LXC draws in a sharp, quick breath. But Uncle doesn't even turn his way. He's still staring fixedly out the window at the gentle snowfall.
"Your mother had been ill for some time before she died."
He speaks as if LXC does not KNOW this. As if he does not vividly remember his mother's long, slow decline. But when he utters the next sentence, LXC understands.
"She and your father had not..."
He speaks as if LXC does not KNOW this. As if he does not vividly remember his mother's long, slow decline. But when he utters the next sentence, LXC understands.
"She and your father had not..."
Uncle gives a discreet cough. "You understand. The egg was not hers, not in any way."
Ah. Of course, his mother was too ill to...interact her husband in that way during her final months of life.
LXC feels faintly queasy. He has tried not to think of this.
Ah. Of course, his mother was too ill to...interact her husband in that way during her final months of life.
LXC feels faintly queasy. He has tried not to think of this.
All his life, he has tried not to think of the intimate side of his parents' marriage.
But of course, his mother was ill for some time before her death. She could not have helped to create an egg.
If an egg was produced after her death...
But of course, his mother was ill for some time before her death. She could not have helped to create an egg.
If an egg was produced after her death...
LXC can hardly make sense of it. He feels dizzy, and queasier than ever.
He does not need to ask what became of the egg. If no one has ever mentioned this to him before...if Wangji remains his only sibling...then he knows already what must have occurred.
But Uncle presses on.
He does not need to ask what became of the egg. If no one has ever mentioned this to him before...if Wangji remains his only sibling...then he knows already what must have occurred.
But Uncle presses on.
"Naturally, once she was gone, there was no one to help supply spiritual energy."
His expression tightens.
"When the egg arrived, the physicians thought the child could not survive. They advised your father not to attempt a hatching."
His expression tightens.
"When the egg arrived, the physicians thought the child could not survive. They advised your father not to attempt a hatching."
"They believed he would harm his health if he tried such a thing," Uncle admits.
LXC swallows.
"He did not agree?"
LXC swallows.
"He did not agree?"
He already knows the answer to this, too. And he can understand this decision far better than he understands most of his father's decisions.
The egg did not belong to his late wife, but it was a child all the same. It was a tie to the world of the living.
The egg did not belong to his late wife, but it was a child all the same. It was a tie to the world of the living.
And LXC knows now - he has seen, thanks to Wangji - how strong a dragon's instincts are when an egg appears.
Wangji had fought tooth and nail to keep the physicians from taking his own eggs away. Their father must have responded the same way.
Wangji had fought tooth and nail to keep the physicians from taking his own eggs away. Their father must have responded the same way.
Uncle lets out a heavy sigh.
"He did not agree." His brow furrows. "He was very stubborn and wilful at times...very much like Wangji, in some ways."
He does not sound happy when he says it.
"He did not agree." His brow furrows. "He was very stubborn and wilful at times...very much like Wangji, in some ways."
He does not sound happy when he says it.
Comparisons between fathers and sons are often a compliment, but LXC knows it is no such thing now.
Wangji's current situation must seem very like their father's.
He swallows again. Uncle takes a breath and continues his story.
Wangji's current situation must seem very like their father's.
He swallows again. Uncle takes a breath and continues his story.
"Contrary to the physicians' expectations, the egg proved to be viable. Once we saw that, we hoped for the best. We hoped that it might give him something to live for. Perhaps it would even persuade him to finally leave seclusion."
LXC folds his own hands tightly on his lap.
LXC folds his own hands tightly on his lap.
Their father never left seclusion. He died less than two years after their mother, without ever setting foot over his own thresh-hold again.
LXC knows how this story ends. But he sits in silence and allows Uncle to finish it.
LXC knows how this story ends. But he sits in silence and allows Uncle to finish it.
"He had grown weak in seclusion, particularly after his wife's death. He abandoned all cultivation work and ceased to maintain the strength of his body and cultivation base."
Uncle's face is gray and drawn, and suddenly terribly old.
Uncle's face is gray and drawn, and suddenly terribly old.
"In the end, he could not sustain the egg on his own. The child was too weak to survive hatching process."
LXC swallows a third time.
He tries to picture it. Was it another younger brother, or was it a sister? How would Wangji have liked being a middle child?
LXC swallows a third time.
He tries to picture it. Was it another younger brother, or was it a sister? How would Wangji have liked being a middle child?
Would the child have been like Wangji, or would they have been very different?
For a moment, an alternate life seems to flicker before LXC's eyes: two younger siblings and a father who regained his passion for living.
But that life vanishes like a mirage.
For a moment, an alternate life seems to flicker before LXC's eyes: two younger siblings and a father who regained his passion for living.
But that life vanishes like a mirage.
"He expressed no interest in rejoining the world after the child was buried," Uncle says tonelessly. "His health deteriorated further, and he gave up his life within half a year."
LXC folds his hands together more tightly, digging his nails into his own flesh.
LXC folds his hands together more tightly, digging his nails into his own flesh.
He understands now why the elders have been so anxious to keep Wangji calm, so desperate to placate him and agree to his every request.
Accepting a demonic cultivator into Cloud Recesses must have seemed preferable to watching history repeat itself.
Accepting a demonic cultivator into Cloud Recesses must have seemed preferable to watching history repeat itself.
Tolerating Wei Wuxian must have seemed a cheaper price to pay than losing Wangji and the children.
Still, LXC feels compelled to argue. Wangji is not like their father at all.
"Uncle," he says softly. "That will not happen to Wangji. He's young and healthy."
Still, LXC feels compelled to argue. Wangji is not like their father at all.
"Uncle," he says softly. "That will not happen to Wangji. He's young and healthy."
"There's nothing wrong with his golden core. He's physically strong, and he hasn't lost his mate."
LXC leans forward, catching some of his uncle's unspoken anxiety.
"And the physicians have assured us that he's managing well with the children, even though there are so many."
LXC leans forward, catching some of his uncle's unspoken anxiety.
"And the physicians have assured us that he's managing well with the children, even though there are so many."
Surely there can't be any reason to worry about Wangji's health now? He finally allowed the physicians to examine him, and they managed to catch a few glimpses of the eggs.
They were growing steadily, changing color, developing just as they ought to do.
They were growing steadily, changing color, developing just as they ought to do.
The physicians said that Wangji was tired but healthy. They thought he could continue to bear the strain until the eggs were ready to hatch.
He was far happier now that Wei Wuxian had come. He had grown so agitated before!
He was far happier now that Wei Wuxian had come. He had grown so agitated before!
He'd asked after WWX every hour and thrashed around in the nest, caught between his desire to stay with the children and his desire to go looking for WWX.
But he had settled down entirely now that WWX was within the Jingshi.
But he had settled down entirely now that WWX was within the Jingshi.
During his last visit, LXC had even caught his brother smiling.
WWX was carefully arranging the eggs before the fire so that Wangji could leave the nest and take a bath. The eggs were larger than ever, their shell patterns shining in the firelight.
WWX was carefully arranging the eggs before the fire so that Wangji could leave the nest and take a bath. The eggs were larger than ever, their shell patterns shining in the firelight.
Wangji had looked so happy.
Surely there was no need to worry about his health or the children's safety. Surely there could be no doubt that the children would survive the hatching.
But Uncle's face grows stormy.
Surely there was no need to worry about his health or the children's safety. Surely there could be no doubt that the children would survive the hatching.
But Uncle's face grows stormy.
"If Wangji insists on hatching children, I wish he had not produced such a large clutch." He huffs. "Why could he not content himself with one? It would be far less risk and far less trouble!"
LXC finds himself fighting a smile.
"I don't believe the matter was under his control," he says demurely.
It was an unusually large clutch, true. Dragons rarely had more than one egg at a time, or perhaps two.
"I don't believe the matter was under his control," he says demurely.
It was an unusually large clutch, true. Dragons rarely had more than one egg at a time, or perhaps two.
A clutch of three eggs was quite rare, particularly among dragons who bore their clutches without a mate's help.
But Wangji had always been a remarkable person.
At any rate, LXC felt sure that his brother hadn't deliberately set out to produce three eggs.
But Wangji had always been a remarkable person.
At any rate, LXC felt sure that his brother hadn't deliberately set out to produce three eggs.
He hadn't even known that he was expecting. No one had known, until a wild-eyed disciple burst into LXC's study and he found himself sprinting across the courtyard to the Jingshi along with half a dozen physicians.
Poor Wangji had been as dazed and bewildered as anyone.
Poor Wangji had been as dazed and bewildered as anyone.
But he had risen to the challenge wonderfully, throwing his heart and soul into caring for his eggs.
Wangji had never shirked his duties or faltered in the face of difficulties. So LXC cannot allow the comparison between Wangji and their father to pass unchallenged.
Wangji had never shirked his duties or faltered in the face of difficulties. So LXC cannot allow the comparison between Wangji and their father to pass unchallenged.
"Even if some misfortune should occur..." He draws in a deep breath and forces the words out. "Even if Wangji isn't able to hatch all three eggs...he would not wither away behind closed doors. He would not give up."
LXC stares until Uncle turns to meets his eyes.
LXC stares until Uncle turns to meets his eyes.
"Uncle. You know he would not throw his life away in such a fashion. He's too strong-willed and he has many other things to live for."
LXC hopes and believes that he will have three nieces or nephews within a month.
LXC hopes and believes that he will have three nieces or nephews within a month.
But even if some tragedy occurred, Wangji would not wither away as their father had.
If nothing else, he had WWX now. WWX had also thrown himself into caring for the eggs, working with more passion than LXC had expected.
If nothing else, he had WWX now. WWX had also thrown himself into caring for the eggs, working with more passion than LXC had expected.
WWX had cared for Wangji very tenderly so far, and LXC was not without hopes that his brother's feelings might be returned after all.
He couldn't believe that WWX would show such concern now, only to abandon Wangji if something went wrong with the hatching.
He couldn't believe that WWX would show such concern now, only to abandon Wangji if something went wrong with the hatching.
And as long as WWX remained, Wangji would have something to cling to.
Uncle looks rather disgruntled, but he's clearly thinking along the same lines.
"What progress have you made with Wei Wuxian's reeducation?" he asks.
Uncle looks rather disgruntled, but he's clearly thinking along the same lines.
"What progress have you made with Wei Wuxian's reeducation?" he asks.
He strives to sound as if he's changing the subject, but he doesn't quite manage it.
LXC represses another smile.
"He finally agreed to allow me to play Cleansing for him tomorrow. I believe he agreed only because Wangji pressed him to accept."
LXC represses another smile.
"He finally agreed to allow me to play Cleansing for him tomorrow. I believe he agreed only because Wangji pressed him to accept."
LXC gives a small, meaningful lift of his brows.
Uncle huffs in disapproval, but even he can't argue: it's a good sign that WWX is so willing to oblige Wangji.
"I understand that you have assigned him quite a bit of reading," LXC adds.
Uncle grimaces.
Uncle huffs in disapproval, but even he can't argue: it's a good sign that WWX is so willing to oblige Wangji.
"I understand that you have assigned him quite a bit of reading," LXC adds.
Uncle grimaces.
"For all the good it may do! I don't believe he has really taken any of it to heart."
LXC isn't quite sure of that either. He senses that WWX is only making a pretense of reading the texts. But he's not willing to cede the point quite yet.
LXC isn't quite sure of that either. He senses that WWX is only making a pretense of reading the texts. But he's not willing to cede the point quite yet.
"He isn't using demonic cultivation at present," LXC points out. "If the situation with the Wens can be resolved and he can be restored to his position in the Jiang clan, perhaps he will never use it again."
For Wangji's sake, he's determined to hope for the best.
For Wangji's sake, he's determined to hope for the best.
Concern for Wangji had made LXC hesitate when his brother first asked for WWX's company.
But WWX has treated Wangji well so far, and he has been gentle with the eggs. Such behavior has done away with LXC's misgivings entirely.
But WWX has treated Wangji well so far, and he has been gentle with the eggs. Such behavior has done away with LXC's misgivings entirely.
"We must give him time," LXC finishes. "Surely you can see that he's unwell."
Uncle grumbles and frowns, but he doesn't disagree. They have both seen how pale WWX has become, and how thin he's grown.
Uncle grumbles and frowns, but he doesn't disagree. They have both seen how pale WWX has become, and how thin he's grown.
LXC isn't certain whether it's the influence of demonic cultivation or simple poverty. Certainly the Wens looked no better.
But WWX also seemed oddly skittish and hunted. Sometimes, there was a gleam of defiance in his eyes. Other times, he merely seemed desperately weary.
But WWX also seemed oddly skittish and hunted. Sometimes, there was a gleam of defiance in his eyes. Other times, he merely seemed desperately weary.
Either way, it was clear enough that he needed rest.
"He would not be the first cultivator to suffer deep scars after fighting in a war," LXC venture, after a long pause. "But he may recover with quiet and rest."
"He would not be the first cultivator to suffer deep scars after fighting in a war," LXC venture, after a long pause. "But he may recover with quiet and rest."
"And he is very much interested in the welfare of the children. Surely they will help inspire him to return to the proper path."
It was very encouraging to witness WWX gently touching the eggs and crafting protective talismans to put over the cribs.
It was very encouraging to witness WWX gently touching the eggs and crafting protective talismans to put over the cribs.
A man who cared so deeply about the safety of children could not be entirely lost. Perhaps he would agree to cast aside demonic cultivation and take up his sword again, for the sake of the children.
LXC isn't without hopes.
But the frown on Uncle's face deepens.
LXC isn't without hopes.
But the frown on Uncle's face deepens.
He flushes with indignation.
"I can't understand his intentions at all," Uncle bursts out. "Does he mean to marry Wangji, or doesn't he?"
LXC blinks, momentarily taken aback by the passion in his uncle's voice.
"...Uncle. You sound almost angry that he hasn't!"
"I can't understand his intentions at all," Uncle bursts out. "Does he mean to marry Wangji, or doesn't he?"
LXC blinks, momentarily taken aback by the passion in his uncle's voice.
"...Uncle. You sound almost angry that he hasn't!"
Uncle scowls and turns away.
"I don't approve of this match! If Wangji had asked for my consent, I would have refused him."
He taps a finger against the table, glaring out the window.
"I don't approve of this match! If Wangji had asked for my consent, I would have refused him."
He taps a finger against the table, glaring out the window.
"But what does he mean by lingering around the nest, carrying the eggs everywhere, even helping to choose names for the children?"
LXC winces. He had heard of that, but he hoped Uncle hadn't.
LXC winces. He had heard of that, but he hoped Uncle hadn't.
Wangji told him that he invited WWX to choose the children's names, and WWX had looked desperately flustered.
LXC hadn't known whether WWX was upset because he didn't want this particular honor, or if WWX was merely embarrassed that they had been caught.
LXC hadn't known whether WWX was upset because he didn't want this particular honor, or if WWX was merely embarrassed that they had been caught.
But if Wangji had asked WWX to name his children, he was certainly...making a statement.
LXC had only hoped to keep that statement quiet until the marriage could be formally settled.
LXC had only hoped to keep that statement quiet until the marriage could be formally settled.
"If they aren't his children," Uncle continues furiously, "then why should Wei Wuxian take such an interest in them? And if he does means to claim the children as his own, then why hasn't he helped Wangji feed them?"
"Because he understands that it would be a claim of parenthood, and he understands the elders would not approve of this match."
LXC's retort is prompt, largely because he's spent so much time thinking about this question.
LXC's retort is prompt, largely because he's spent so much time thinking about this question.
Wangji hadn't seemed too disturbed that WWX had refused to feed the children thus far, though he'd certainly noticed the omission.
For the time being, Wangji seemed content to have WWX touching the eggs and helping to maintain the nest.
For the time being, Wangji seemed content to have WWX touching the eggs and helping to maintain the nest.
But LXC knew it would only be a matter of time before Wangji pressed WWX to nurture the children directly. He was not sure that WWX's response would be.
"I think he believes that he has no right to court Wangji after everything that has happened," LXC adds.
"I think he believes that he has no right to court Wangji after everything that has happened," LXC adds.
WWX certainly had quite a way of looking at Wangji. It was wistful and longing, but there was an element of hopelessness too.
LXC hoped this was all that held WWX back from making a marriage offer: the fear that he'd ruined his chances of securing the approval of the elders.
LXC hoped this was all that held WWX back from making a marriage offer: the fear that he'd ruined his chances of securing the approval of the elders.
"He does NOT have that right!" Uncle tosses his head. "Yet he thinks he has a right to touch Wangji's eggs?"
LXC sighs. He can't peer into WWX's mind or divine his motivations. He decides not to try. He resorts to his most effective weapon.
LXC sighs. He can't peer into WWX's mind or divine his motivations. He decides not to try. He resorts to his most effective weapon.
"Wangji is very happy when Wei Wuxian is nearby. I believe it cheers Wei Wuxian as well, and the children are certainly thriving. It does no harm for him to touch the eggs."
"It does harm to Wangji's reputation!" Uncle thumps a hand against the table with unusual force.
"It does harm to Wangji's reputation!" Uncle thumps a hand against the table with unusual force.
"I won't have it said that he conceived his children through an out-of-wedlock affair! And I won't have it said that he shared his bedchamber for weeks with a man who refused to marry him!"
LXC keeps his voice low and well-modulated.
"'Gossip is forbidden'," he recites calmly.
LXC keeps his voice low and well-modulated.
"'Gossip is forbidden'," he recites calmly.
"The disciples know better than to speak to of this with outsiders. They will guard Wangji's reputation."
That WWX was living with Wangji was an open secret at this point. LXC knew there had been a good deal of gossip about that within the walls of Cloud Recesses.
That WWX was living with Wangji was an open secret at this point. LXC knew there had been a good deal of gossip about that within the walls of Cloud Recesses.
But he was fairly sure that none of the gossip had leaked out.
The disciples wouldn't want to have the sect publicly shamed, or the main family line insulted. They might whisper amongst themselves, but they would think twice about talking to anyone outside the sect.
The disciples wouldn't want to have the sect publicly shamed, or the main family line insulted. They might whisper amongst themselves, but they would think twice about talking to anyone outside the sect.
LXC sighs. And truly, even if the scandal did become widespread, he's not sure it would make much difference to Wangji.
"I don't think," he admits, "that this matter will affect Wangji's marriage prospects either way."
Uncle frowns.
"Speak plainly."
"I don't think," he admits, "that this matter will affect Wangji's marriage prospects either way."
Uncle frowns.
"Speak plainly."
"I don't think," LXC speaks with deliberate calm, "that he will ever consent to marry anyone but Wei Wuxian."
There.
LXC has diligently avoiding saying such things for months. He worked hard to keep this truth from Uncle.
There.
LXC has diligently avoiding saying such things for months. He worked hard to keep this truth from Uncle.
He tried to allow Wangji to hide his feelings unless and until he felt ready to speak.
But it must be said. LXC knows perfectly well that his brother will never consent to any other marriage, particularly not now.
Uncle knows it too.
But it must be said. LXC knows perfectly well that his brother will never consent to any other marriage, particularly not now.
Uncle knows it too.
His expression is grim, but LXC can read the look in his eyes. Uncle knows better than anyone how determined the Lans can be in pursuit of their chosen love.
"...He need not marry." Uncle stares meditatively into his teacup.
"...He need not marry." Uncle stares meditatively into his teacup.
"Not if he produces three heirs on his own. He's amply fulfilled his responsibilities to the clan in that regard. A spouse would be...superfluous."
LXC smothers a sigh. Only Uncle would suggest that it's 'superfluous' to marry for love.
LXC smothers a sigh. Only Uncle would suggest that it's 'superfluous' to marry for love.
"Perhaps he would like to marry," LXC hints.
Uncle only frowns some more, and LXC loses his patience all at once.
He's spent the last week dancing around various topics with other sect leaders, and he's thoroughly sick of it. He refuses to do the same with his own family.
Uncle only frowns some more, and LXC loses his patience all at once.
He's spent the last week dancing around various topics with other sect leaders, and he's thoroughly sick of it. He refuses to do the same with his own family.
"Uncle." LXC pushed his tea aside and assumes a businesslike tone. "If Wei Wuxian gives up his current methods and returns to orthodox forms of cultivation. If he can be accepted into the Jiang clan and restored to his position of First Disciple."
"If his past offenses can be forgotten and buried with the memory of the war. Will their elders give their consent to this marriage?"
Uncle is silent for a very long time.
"It is senseless to speak of hypotheticals," he says eventually. "These things may never come to pass."
Uncle is silent for a very long time.
"It is senseless to speak of hypotheticals," he says eventually. "These things may never come to pass."
LXC recognizes the quote. It's from one of their sect's most cherished philosophical texts. But he won't allow Uncle to dodge the question.
"But suppose that they do come to pass. Suppose Wangji and Wei Wuxian ask permission to marry so that he can adopt the children formally."
"But suppose that they do come to pass. Suppose Wangji and Wei Wuxian ask permission to marry so that he can adopt the children formally."
"Would you agree?"
The silence stretches out, longer than before. But when Uncle speaks, he catches LXC off guard.
"Hmph. Wei Wuxian is too thin and sickly to serve as a husband to anyone just now."
The silence stretches out, longer than before. But when Uncle speaks, he catches LXC off guard.
"Hmph. Wei Wuxian is too thin and sickly to serve as a husband to anyone just now."
LXC feels his posture unwind, tension leaching from his muscles. He must work hard to resist the urge to smile.
If THAT is Uncle's primary objection, then the matter can surely be resolved.
If THAT is Uncle's primary objection, then the matter can surely be resolved.
"Wangji is persuading him to eat more. I believe he's gained some weight since he's been here, and his color is better."
WWX had looked quite thin and sickly - alarmingly so - when they had arrived at the Burial Mounds.
WWX had looked quite thin and sickly - alarmingly so - when they had arrived at the Burial Mounds.
But he has been removed from that poisonous environment and secluded in the warmth and quiet of a nesting chamber. It must be doing Wei Wuxian some good.
Cleansing would do him good, too.
Cleansing would do him good, too.
"As I said, Uncle, I will play for him. And I intend to ask Wen Qing to examine him and recommend treatments to rebuild his strength. Wei Wuxian has said he will accept no other physician."
He had recoiled at the mere suggestion of submitting to an examination by the physicians of Cloud Recesses.
But when LXC suggested WQ, WWX seemed willing to entertain the idea. LXC was relieved to learn that she already planned to visit, if the elders would give permission.
But when LXC suggested WQ, WWX seemed willing to entertain the idea. LXC was relieved to learn that she already planned to visit, if the elders would give permission.
"She wishes to visit him and bring her little cousin. You remember the child?"
LXC waits until his Uncle gives a gruff nod.
"I understand he's very much attached to Wei Wuxian. He's been begging to see him again."
LXC waits until his Uncle gives a gruff nod.
"I understand he's very much attached to Wei Wuxian. He's been begging to see him again."
LXC had only spent a few moments in the little boy's company, but he was certainly an endearing child. It was dreadful that he'd already suffered such hardships. LXC feels sick when he imagines what might have happened to the child if they never transported the Wens to safety.
Uncle doesn't answer for a time. Then he gives a very long sigh.
"I suppose there is ONE crime we cannot lay at his doorstep. At least we have never heard of that boy mistreating a child."
He rises from the table and LXC does the same.
"Very well," Uncle says. "Let them come!"
"I suppose there is ONE crime we cannot lay at his doorstep. At least we have never heard of that boy mistreating a child."
He rises from the table and LXC does the same.
"Very well," Uncle says. "Let them come!"
(oh god this threadfic is getting so obscenely long and I'm only like halfway done. h e l p m e.
Gonna have to break here until the weekend! Next up: a wild A-Yuan appears and things start to come to a head!)
Gonna have to break here until the weekend! Next up: a wild A-Yuan appears and things start to come to a head!)
*shows up several days late with a Starbucks and another ridiculously long installment*
Please. :) Mute me. :) My apologies for inflicting such long sections on you, but this is what's happening. :)
Please. :) Mute me. :) My apologies for inflicting such long sections on you, but this is what's happening. :)
Also, I made a masterpost to ATTEMPT to make this whole threadfic easier to follow:
https://twitter.com/cicerfics/status/1420109222424072199
So anyway!
As promised, WQ arrives at Cloud Recesses few days later. She has A-Yuan in tow.
She looks markedly better than she did the last time WWX saw her. She's cleaner and wearing nicer clothes, and she seems to have put on some much-needed weight.
As promised, WQ arrives at Cloud Recesses few days later. She has A-Yuan in tow.
She looks markedly better than she did the last time WWX saw her. She's cleaner and wearing nicer clothes, and she seems to have put on some much-needed weight.
But WWX doesn't have much chance to talk to her when she first arrives. LXC wants to discuss the ongoing arrangements for the new Wen settlement.
There's also a certain gleam in his eyes that suggests LXC is planning to interrogate her on more personal matters.
There's also a certain gleam in his eyes that suggests LXC is planning to interrogate her on more personal matters.
Like, perhaps, things concerning WWX.
WWX does not trust that gleam. But if WQ doesn't object to a private discussion with Sect Leader Lan, he doesn't have much room to object FOR her.
So he settles for taking hold of A-Yuan's hand and leading him into the Jingshi.
WWX does not trust that gleam. But if WQ doesn't object to a private discussion with Sect Leader Lan, he doesn't have much room to object FOR her.
So he settles for taking hold of A-Yuan's hand and leading him into the Jingshi.
A-Yuan's wild excitement at seeing WWX again only lasts for a few minutes. Then he remembers his wild excitement to see the Lan dragons, and WWX is cruelly cast aside!
Right away, A-Yuan charges into the Jingshi.
Right away, A-Yuan charges into the Jingshi.
He hardly pauses to wipe the snow off his shoes, so WWX chases after him. He finally corrals A-Yuan near the fireplace, stripping off his wet things before he can make a giant puddle.
A-Yuan allows his coat to be removed, but he wiggles free when WWX tries to clean his shoes.
A-Yuan allows his coat to be removed, but he wiggles free when WWX tries to clean his shoes.
Ignoring his muddy shoes, he swings his head around, staring avidly into every corner.
"Where are the dragons?" he demands.
WWX heaves a sigh. But he takes A-Yuan's hand and guides him over to the bed. Gingerly, he pushes back the curtains and positions A-Yuan where he can see.
"Where are the dragons?" he demands.
WWX heaves a sigh. But he takes A-Yuan's hand and guides him over to the bed. Gingerly, he pushes back the curtains and positions A-Yuan where he can see.
"This is Lan Zhan," WWX explains. "The second young master of the Lan sect, and a very important person. Greet him nicely!"
A-Yuan looks at Lan Zhan with great interest...as well he might. Lan Zhan hasn't bothered to dress for the occasion, and he's half-buried beneath blankets.
A-Yuan looks at Lan Zhan with great interest...as well he might. Lan Zhan hasn't bothered to dress for the occasion, and he's half-buried beneath blankets.
But Lan Zhan blinks and lifts his head. When he realizes that A-Yuan has arrived, he pushes himself into a seated position and arranges the blankets over his chest.
With a little prompting, A-Yuan bows properly. But WWX detects a trace of skepticism on his small face.
With a little prompting, A-Yuan bows properly. But WWX detects a trace of skepticism on his small face.
"He's not a dragon," A-Yuan says doubtfully.
He probably intends to whisper it. But toddlers aren't very good at controlling the volume of their voices, and they're standing right beside the bed.
WWX heaves a sigh, even though he sees Lan Zhan's lips twitch.
He probably intends to whisper it. But toddlers aren't very good at controlling the volume of their voices, and they're standing right beside the bed.
WWX heaves a sigh, even though he sees Lan Zhan's lips twitch.
"Ah, such ignorance. Kids these days! He is too a dragon!" WWX pinches A-Yuan's cheek. "But he's not a dragon right this minute. He's too tired to hold that form right now."
As the eggs develop, it's grown harder for Lan Zhan to muster up enough spiritual energy to hold his dragon from.
WWX has only seen it twice, and only for brief periods. He certainly doesn't expect Lan Zhan to exhaust himself just to grant A-Yuan's wish of seeing a dragon.
WWX has only seen it twice, and only for brief periods. He certainly doesn't expect Lan Zhan to exhaust himself just to grant A-Yuan's wish of seeing a dragon.
But Lan Zhan sits up further and shakes his head.
"I have enough energy for this," he says.
Then he shifts.
A-Yuan's eyes grow round as Lan Zhan's shape flickers and unfolds, spilling out into a long expanse of gleaming blue scales and creamy white horns.
"I have enough energy for this," he says.
Then he shifts.
A-Yuan's eyes grow round as Lan Zhan's shape flickers and unfolds, spilling out into a long expanse of gleaming blue scales and creamy white horns.
Lan Zhan curls up on the bed, tucking his long body around the blanket-covered mound 's hiding his eggs. He rests his head on the pillow, and allows a delighted A-Yuan to pat his snout.
WWX squeezes A-Yuan's shoulders.
"Pretty, right?" he murmurs.
WWX squeezes A-Yuan's shoulders.
"Pretty, right?" he murmurs.
A-Yuan nods vigorously. He touches Lan Zhan's horns and runs his small fingers over the inky-blue scales along Lan Zhan's back.
Lan Zhan huffs lightly, but he doesn't object. He lets A-Yuan pet him for several minutes, and WWX stomach twists.
Lan Zhan huffs lightly, but he doesn't object. He lets A-Yuan pet him for several minutes, and WWX stomach twists.
A-Yuan doesn't know how lucky he is, and WWX can't find the words to tell him.
He's learned during his time in CR that the Lans almost never transform in front of anyone except family. It's rare, extremely rare, for outsiders to catch a glimpse of a Lan dragon.
He's learned during his time in CR that the Lans almost never transform in front of anyone except family. It's rare, extremely rare, for outsiders to catch a glimpse of a Lan dragon.
WWX doesn't know the last time someone outside the Lan sect received this sort of privilege. He and A-Yuan are both very lucky indeed.
But it doesn't last long. Lan Zhan's form flickers again and he shifts back.
But it doesn't last long. Lan Zhan's form flickers again and he shifts back.
A-Yuan makes a soft disappointed sound, drawing his hand back from the vanishing horns.
WWX shushes him.
"Don't tire yourself out!" he says.
WWX shushes him.
"Don't tire yourself out!" he says.
Lan Zhan, back in his human form, is giving A-Yuan a mournful look. He looks like he might try to transform back to stem A-Yuan's disappointment.
WWX gives him a pointed look and nudges A-Yuan closer to the bed. He reaches out to shift the blankets.
WWX gives him a pointed look and nudges A-Yuan closer to the bed. He reaches out to shift the blankets.
"A-Yuan, come here. Look. See?"
He peels back the sheets to reveal the eggs, rounder and heavier each day.
"Look! Lan Zhan need to rest because he's going to have babies soon."
A-Yuan's eyes go rounder than ever.
He peels back the sheets to reveal the eggs, rounder and heavier each day.
"Look! Lan Zhan need to rest because he's going to have babies soon."
A-Yuan's eyes go rounder than ever.
"He has to stay in his human form," WWX adds, "so he can save up his energy for his babies. Don't pester him to change back, all right?"
But A-Yuan has clearly forgotten about dragons in the excitement of this new discovery. He pushes himself on tiptoes, peering over the bed.
But A-Yuan has clearly forgotten about dragons in the excitement of this new discovery. He pushes himself on tiptoes, peering over the bed.
"Eggs!" he cries. 'Three! They're shiny."
His hand stretches out again, and WWX winces as he catches it.
He hasn't forgotten the story of Lan Zhan nearly mauling the sect physicians when they tried to touch the eggs. He throws an anxious glance in Lan Zhan's direction.
His hand stretches out again, and WWX winces as he catches it.
He hasn't forgotten the story of Lan Zhan nearly mauling the sect physicians when they tried to touch the eggs. He throws an anxious glance in Lan Zhan's direction.
But Lan Zhan watches A-Yuan with warm, tranquil eyes. His posture is relaxed. He hasn't bristled or tried to push A-Yuan away from the eggs.
WWX dares to loosen his grip on A-Yuan's hand.
"Yes, yes," he sighs. "They're very shiny. But ask Lan Zhan before touching!"
WWX dares to loosen his grip on A-Yuan's hand.
"Yes, yes," he sighs. "They're very shiny. But ask Lan Zhan before touching!"
He pokes A-Yuan in the side.
You can't go around touching people's eggs without permission. Lan Zhan will think you were raised in a barn. He'll think we never taught you any manners!"
You can't go around touching people's eggs without permission. Lan Zhan will think you were raised in a barn. He'll think we never taught you any manners!"
A-Yuan makes his petition as eloquently as a toddler can, begging 'Dragon-gege' to let him touch the eggs.
Lan Zhan inclines his head.
"A-Yuan may touch," he says magnanimously, "if he is very gentle."
A-Yuan's face fills with triumph.
Lan Zhan inclines his head.
"A-Yuan may touch," he says magnanimously, "if he is very gentle."
A-Yuan's face fills with triumph.
He reaches out, but WWX takes the precaution of guiding his hand.
"Gently, gently! Remember, they're only little. Just give them a pat."
His eyes dart between the eggs and Lan Zhan's face, watching for any sign of discomfort or irritation.
"Gently, gently! Remember, they're only little. Just give them a pat."
His eyes dart between the eggs and Lan Zhan's face, watching for any sign of discomfort or irritation.
But Lan Zhan reclines against the pillows, one arm looped around the eggs. He shifts his grasp, letting A-Yuan touch each egg in turn.
A-Yuan is very gentle. He follows WWX's instructions, administering feather-light touches to the shell.
Lan Zhan's expression softens further.
A-Yuan is very gentle. He follows WWX's instructions, administering feather-light touches to the shell.
Lan Zhan's expression softens further.
WWX's chest gives another twist.
He can't deal with seeing THAT expression on Lan Zhan's face. He's been seeing a lot of it lately, and he hoped he'd build up some kind of immunity eventually. But it doesn't seem to be happening.
He can't deal with seeing THAT expression on Lan Zhan's face. He's been seeing a lot of it lately, and he hoped he'd build up some kind of immunity eventually. But it doesn't seem to be happening.
Every time Lan Zhan gazes at the eggs - or worse, at WWX - with soft eyes, WWX's heart feels like it might stampede out of his chest.
He turns to A-Yuan, speaking hurriedly to distract himself.
"Do you want to know their names?"
He turns to A-Yuan, speaking hurriedly to distract himself.
"Do you want to know their names?"
He hardly waits for A-Yuan's enthusiastic nod before pointing to the first egg.
"That's Little Blue. See how it's the same color as Lan Zhan's scales? This one is Little Wave."
He traces the smooth wave patterns along the shells.
"That's Little Blue. See how it's the same color as Lan Zhan's scales? This one is Little Wave."
He traces the smooth wave patterns along the shells.
"Little Shimmer is the sparkly one at the back," he adds.
A-Yuan gazes earnestly at the eggs. Then he gives them another round of gentle pats.
"When will they...be dragons and not eggs?" His brow furrows a little in consternation as he speaks.
A-Yuan gazes earnestly at the eggs. Then he gives them another round of gentle pats.
"When will they...be dragons and not eggs?" His brow furrows a little in consternation as he speaks.
WWX realizes with some amusement that A-Yuan doesn't know the word 'hatching.'
Lan Zhan looks faintly amused too.
"They will hatch next month," he says.
Lan Zhan covers the eggs again, drawing them against his belly.
Lan Zhan looks faintly amused too.
"They will hatch next month," he says.
Lan Zhan covers the eggs again, drawing them against his belly.
"They will be very small dragons for a few weeks," Lan Zhan explains. "Then they will change to look like human children. They will not become dragons again until they grow old enough to cultivate their golden core."
WWX shifts into a nearby chair and draws A-Yuan into his lap.
WWX shifts into a nearby chair and draws A-Yuan into his lap.
"Like you! Remember?" He tweaks A-Yuan's ear playfully. "It's just like Auntie and I told you."
WQ had explained it all to A-Yuan.
It didn't matter much, they knew. Most of the Dafan Wens lacked the ability to shift into their bloodline's leopard form.
WQ had explained it all to A-Yuan.
It didn't matter much, they knew. Most of the Dafan Wens lacked the ability to shift into their bloodline's leopard form.
It took a strong golden core to shift, and the Dafan Wens had never been powerful cultivators. A-Yuan would probably never manage it.
But A-Yuan had wanted to know all the details, so WQ had told him how it worked...with a few self-serving details.
But A-Yuan had wanted to know all the details, so WQ had told him how it worked...with a few self-serving details.
"You remember what Auntie said! You won't be a kitty," WWX reminds him, "unless you work hard, wash behind your ears, and become a brave cultivator."
As soon as A-Yuan knew that some in his family could develop the ability to change shape, he had been enraptured.
As soon as A-Yuan knew that some in his family could develop the ability to change shape, he had been enraptured.
WQ was the only one left who could hold her leopard shape, even for a few seconds. So A-Yuan had pinned all his hopes on learning this ability from her.
And WQ had not scrupled to use that desire to persuade A-Yuan to be an obedient child.
And WQ had not scrupled to use that desire to persuade A-Yuan to be an obedient child.
WWX didn't think that diligently washing hands or chewing with a closed mouth could possibly improve a child's chances of becoming a strong cultivator.
He certainly didn't think that sort of thing would help A-Yuan get powerful enough to transform.
He certainly didn't think that sort of thing would help A-Yuan get powerful enough to transform.
But every so often, WQ announced a new behavior that would help A-Yuan get stronger. Then she fixed WWX with a meaningful stare. She was clearly daring him to disagree.
WWX always gave in and allowed poor A-Yuan to be tricked into eating his vegetables under false pretenses.
WWX always gave in and allowed poor A-Yuan to be tricked into eating his vegetables under false pretenses.
It was for A-Yuan's own good, WQ said. But WWX often felt a twinge of guilt.
He feels another twinge now as A-Yuan turns guileless eyes upon him.
"I ate all my turnips today," A-Yuan reports proudly.
WWX lets out a long sigh.
He feels another twinge now as A-Yuan turns guileless eyes upon him.
"I ate all my turnips today," A-Yuan reports proudly.
WWX lets out a long sigh.
"Ah, good boy. Good boy!" He pats A-Yuan's back. "You'll be changing shape in no time if you keep that up!"
A-Yuan straightens up, looking prouder than ever. He even steals a glance at his hands and feet, as if checking make sure he hasn't transformed without realizing it.
A-Yuan straightens up, looking prouder than ever. He even steals a glance at his hands and feet, as if checking make sure he hasn't transformed without realizing it.
WWX huffs a small laugh, and his eyes dart to Lan Zhan. He can't help it. A-Yuan is so funny sometimes, and WWX likes to have someone to share it with.
But the warmth in Lan Zhan's eyes is more than he bargained on.
But the warmth in Lan Zhan's eyes is more than he bargained on.
Lan Zhan gazes at A-Yuan with so much tenderness that it knocks all the breath out of WWX's lungs.
He supposes that Lan Zhan will look at his own children like that once they're hatched.
He supposes that Lan Zhan will look at his own children like that once they're hatched.
He supposes that the little dragons will make all kinds of funny speeches when they get to be A-Yuan's age.
Lan Zhan will smile at them, and he'll flash a conspiratorial glance at his brother, his uncle...whoever happens to be there to enjoy the children's antics with him.
Lan Zhan will smile at them, and he'll flash a conspiratorial glance at his brother, his uncle...whoever happens to be there to enjoy the children's antics with him.
It won't be WWX, of course.
WWX swallows and drags his attention back to A-Yuan, currently trying to climb onto the bed. WWX reaches out to restrain him, but Lan Zhan is faster: he stretches out an arm to help A-Yuan clamber onto the mattress and sit beside the eggs.
WWX swallows and drags his attention back to A-Yuan, currently trying to climb onto the bed. WWX reaches out to restrain him, but Lan Zhan is faster: he stretches out an arm to help A-Yuan clamber onto the mattress and sit beside the eggs.
"Can I come over," A-Yuan asks plaintively, "and play with the little dragons?"
WWX's heart twists yet again. A-Yuan has been so deprived of playmates. Lan Zhan has clearly guessed that because he answers in a gentle tone.
"They will be infants," he warns, "for a long time."
WWX's heart twists yet again. A-Yuan has been so deprived of playmates. Lan Zhan has clearly guessed that because he answers in a gentle tone.
"They will be infants," he warns, "for a long time."
"Too small to play!" WWX cuts in.
He ruffles A-Yuan's hair and nudges his cheek.
"The babies won't know how to play games and run around, not for months and months. It'll be years before they can climb trees with a big boy like A-Yuan!"
He ruffles A-Yuan's hair and nudges his cheek.
"The babies won't know how to play games and run around, not for months and months. It'll be years before they can climb trees with a big boy like A-Yuan!"
A-Yuan's brow furrows at that, but he doesn't seem dissuaded.
"I can wait." His voice is full of stubborn determination.
WWX heaves a sigh. To A-Yuan, a week might as well be a year. He doesn't have any idea what he's agreeing to!
"I can wait." His voice is full of stubborn determination.
WWX heaves a sigh. To A-Yuan, a week might as well be a year. He doesn't have any idea what he's agreeing to!
But Lan Zhan touches A-Yuan's back, ghosting a hand over A-Yuan's hair.
"A-Yuan may visit us," he says. "You may visit as often as you please. The children will always be glad to see you."
A-Yuan beams.
"A-Yuan may visit us," he says. "You may visit as often as you please. The children will always be glad to see you."
A-Yuan beams.
Starved for playmates as he is, A-Yuan wastes no time in trying to get to know the babies.
He doesn't seem daunted by the fact that they haven't hatched yet. He sings the eggs a song his aunties taught him, and dutifully tells the eggs his favorite desserts and games.
He doesn't seem daunted by the fact that they haven't hatched yet. He sings the eggs a song his aunties taught him, and dutifully tells the eggs his favorite desserts and games.
One of the eggs wobbles a little as A-Yuan talks to it. That small event throws A-Yuan into raptures of excitement.
He insists on drawing pictures, too. They're mostly indistinguishable blobs, even though WWX tries to help him a bit.
He insists on drawing pictures, too. They're mostly indistinguishable blobs, even though WWX tries to help him a bit.
But when he displays his finished picture, Lan Zhan admires it with all the solemnity he might give a famous masterpiece.
"It's a present," A-Yuan says. "For the eggs. Do they like it?"
It doesn't seem to occur to him that the babies can't see his picture from inside the shell.
"It's a present," A-Yuan says. "For the eggs. Do they like it?"
It doesn't seem to occur to him that the babies can't see his picture from inside the shell.
But it doesn't matter: Lan Zhan gravely assures him that the children like his picture very much, and A-Yuan is made completely happy.
It takes some effort to herd him out the door when WQ appears to pick him up.
It takes some effort to herd him out the door when WQ appears to pick him up.
A-Yuan only refrains from throwing a tantrum when he's promised another visit within a few days.
He leaves in a flurry of shouted goodbyes to 'Xian-gege' and 'Dragon-gege', and WWX exchanges a wry glance with WQ over his head.
He leaves in a flurry of shouted goodbyes to 'Xian-gege' and 'Dragon-gege', and WWX exchanges a wry glance with WQ over his head.
Then she whisks A-Yuan away, on the grounds that he's overdue for a nap. She'll come back later to talk to WWX, she says.
In the meantime, the Jingshi is a whirlwind of spilled ink and crumpled papers. There's a small inky handprint on one of the bedposts.
In the meantime, the Jingshi is a whirlwind of spilled ink and crumpled papers. There's a small inky handprint on one of the bedposts.
WWX groans as he scrubs at it with his thumb.
"Just so you know, THAT was A-Yuan on his best behavior."
He gives up the bedpost as a lost cause and started gathering up the loose papers.
"Just think of that! Are you SURE you want three? Maybe you didn't think this through!"
"Just so you know, THAT was A-Yuan on his best behavior."
He gives up the bedpost as a lost cause and started gathering up the loose papers.
"Just think of that! Are you SURE you want three? Maybe you didn't think this through!"
WWX is only joking, of course. He's seen how much Lan Zhan loves his eggs. He expects Lan Zhan to huff and insist that he's sure: he wants all three eggs to hatch into rowdy children.
But when WWX turns around, Lan Zhan has pushed himself up again. He studies WWX somberly.
But when WWX turns around, Lan Zhan has pushed himself up again. He studies WWX somberly.
"Wei Ying. Is he your child?"
WWX drops his armful of papers and they scatter around his feet.
"Lan Zhan! No!" He flails his arms, then drops to his knees to gather the papers again. "What sort of scoundrel do you think I am?! I would've been sixteen when he was born!"
WWX drops his armful of papers and they scatter around his feet.
"Lan Zhan! No!" He flails his arms, then drops to his knees to gather the papers again. "What sort of scoundrel do you think I am?! I would've been sixteen when he was born!"
Much as he loves A-Yuan, the idea of becoming a father at sixteen is more than a little horrifying. WWX screws up his face.
"When I was fifteen, I was studying here with you! I wasn't running around with..."
He waves a hand stupidly.
"When I was fifteen, I was studying here with you! I wasn't running around with..."
He waves a hand stupidly.
He wasn't running around with ANYONE. He was causing problems with JC and NHS, copying lines in the library, and pestering Lan Zhan with every spare ounce of energy.
Taking lovers and fathering children were the farthest things from his mind at THAT age!
Taking lovers and fathering children were the farthest things from his mind at THAT age!
Those days feel very far away now. They almost seem to belong to another lifetime. WWX can't bear to think about them for too long, or his throat closes up.
He thought that everything lay ahead of him. He hadn't realized how quickly the path would narrow and turn rocky.
He thought that everything lay ahead of him. He hadn't realized how quickly the path would narrow and turn rocky.
He wipes a hand over his face and stacks the papers on the desk. Then he tries to soothe his feelings by giving Lan Zhan a stern look, feigning offense over this insinuation.
But Lan Zhan stares back steadily.
"I know that," he says. "But do you consider him yours?"
But Lan Zhan stares back steadily.
"I know that," he says. "But do you consider him yours?"
WWX discovers that he doesn't know how to answer that question.
"He has his own family," WWX his voice faltering.
Lan Zhan straightens further.
"But you take an interest in his upbringing. You help to oversee his education."
WWX doesn't know what to say to that either.
"He has his own family," WWX his voice faltering.
Lan Zhan straightens further.
"But you take an interest in his upbringing. You help to oversee his education."
WWX doesn't know what to say to that either.
"He could belong to you," Lan Zhan presses, "while also belonging to the Wens."
WWX's throat feels tight. He studies the surface of the desk. One of A-Yuan's drawings stares up at him, and WWX resists the temptation to turn it face down.
WWX's throat feels tight. He studies the surface of the desk. One of A-Yuan's drawings stares up at him, and WWX resists the temptation to turn it face down.
Instead, he lowers himself onto the chair beside the bed. He keeps a careful distance between himself and Lan Zhan.
"Lan Zhan." He wets his lips. "What do you want me to say? I don't have anything to offer a kid. Even if the Wens wanted to let someone adopt him, it can't be me."
"Lan Zhan." He wets his lips. "What do you want me to say? I don't have anything to offer a kid. Even if the Wens wanted to let someone adopt him, it can't be me."
"I don't..."
But he can't bring himself to finish that sentence.
He doesn't even know what he wants to say. 'I don't have a home'? 'I don't have a spouse'? 'I don't belong to any sect'? 'I don't have a golden core anymore'?
But he can't bring himself to finish that sentence.
He doesn't even know what he wants to say. 'I don't have a home'? 'I don't have a spouse'? 'I don't belong to any sect'? 'I don't have a golden core anymore'?
All of it is true. They're all valid objections. But he can't say any of it to Lan Zhan.
"I'm not fit to be anyone's father," he finishes.
His voice is flat, toneless. The words sting like saltwater in a wound.
"I'm not fit to be anyone's father," he finishes.
His voice is flat, toneless. The words sting like saltwater in a wound.
But even if WWX hasn't said any of this out loud before, he's known it for months. It shouldn't hurt, and it shouldn't come as surprise to anyone.
But Lan Zhan stares like WWX has said something astonishing.
"Is that how you feel? Is that why you haven't..."
But Lan Zhan stares like WWX has said something astonishing.
"Is that how you feel? Is that why you haven't..."
His voice falls away, and his mouth works soundlessly for a few moments.
Then he scoots closer, perilously close to the edge of the bed. Toward WWX.
"You have never attempted to feed the children," Lan Zhan says softly.
Then he scoots closer, perilously close to the edge of the bed. Toward WWX.
"You have never attempted to feed the children," Lan Zhan says softly.
WWX stomachs seizes up. He tries to laugh, but it comes out all wrong: a ghastly imitation of laughter.
"I don't have any business doing that! I know what that means in your clan."
He knows. He can't claim ignorance here.
"I don't have any business doing that! I know what that means in your clan."
He knows. He can't claim ignorance here.
LQR took pains to make sure that WWX understood the implications of such things. LXC had dropped a handful of hints too. They made sure that WWX knows that feeding the babies would be a claim of paternity.
He'd be announcing himself to the world as the father of Lan Zhan's children, as Lan Zhan's future husband.
And Lan Zhan can't want that. He can't.
"I'm not... I'm not your husband. I'm only a visitor." WWX knots his fingers together. "So of course I'd never dare to do that."
And Lan Zhan can't want that. He can't.
"I'm not... I'm not your husband. I'm only a visitor." WWX knots his fingers together. "So of course I'd never dare to do that."
LWJ's eyes sharpen.
His eyes have been a little hazy and dreamlike for the last few weeks, the pupils often dilated. WWX understood that was normal. Just another sign of the strain Lan Zhan's body was under, as he tried to hatch three eggs.
His eyes have been a little hazy and dreamlike for the last few weeks, the pupils often dilated. WWX understood that was normal. Just another sign of the strain Lan Zhan's body was under, as he tried to hatch three eggs.
But Lan Zhan suddenly looks more clear-eyed than WWX has seen him in weeks.
His posture shifts. For all that he's naked beneath a thin sheet, he looks like Hanguang-Jun proudly striding onto the battlefield.
"You are not a visitor. Not to me."
His posture shifts. For all that he's naked beneath a thin sheet, he looks like Hanguang-Jun proudly striding onto the battlefield.
"You are not a visitor. Not to me."
Lan Zhan's brow furrows, and he scoots closer than ever.
"Wei Ying. I begged my brother to find you and bring you here. Did you not understand this?"
WWX's mouth is suddenly very dry.
"Wei Ying. I begged my brother to find you and bring you here. Did you not understand this?"
WWX's mouth is suddenly very dry.
"You were stressed out and confused!" he blurts out. "I understand. We parted on bad terms. I made you upset, and you got worried. I'm sorry."
When they parted, that night in the rain, he thought Lan Zhan would hate him. Lan Zhan was SUPPOSED to hate him.
When they parted, that night in the rain, he thought Lan Zhan would hate him. Lan Zhan was SUPPOSED to hate him.
He was supposed to think that WWX was a big jerk: always pushing Lan Zhan away when he expressed concern about WWX's cultivation methods, always coldly refusing his offers to play Cleansing.
After he left with the Wens, Lan Zhan was supposed to give up, walk away in disgust.
After he left with the Wens, Lan Zhan was supposed to give up, walk away in disgust.
He was supposed to decide that WWX wasn't worth the trouble.
He wasn't supposed to worry. He wasn't supposed to keep trying to find ways to return WWX to the proper path. He definitely wasn't supposed to waste his energy on WWX when he should have been focused on his babies.
He wasn't supposed to worry. He wasn't supposed to keep trying to find ways to return WWX to the proper path. He definitely wasn't supposed to waste his energy on WWX when he should have been focused on his babies.
But WWX doesn't know how to explain that now. He clutches his own hands so tightly, the bones grind together.
"Ah. Well, it was kind of Lan Zhan to worry about me, anyway."
His voice is quiet and too small. But it WAS kind, and maybe WWX should've expected that.
"Ah. Well, it was kind of Lan Zhan to worry about me, anyway."
His voice is quiet and too small. But it WAS kind, and maybe WWX should've expected that.
Lan Zhan was a kind person.
People didn't always realize that, but WWX should've known better. He should've known that Lan Zhan always tried to help people if he thought they needed it. He wasn't the type to give up, even on lost causes.
People didn't always realize that, but WWX should've known better. He should've known that Lan Zhan always tried to help people if he thought they needed it. He wasn't the type to give up, even on lost causes.
But Lan Zhan seems frustrated with this reply.
"I am not confused," he insists. "And it wasn't kindness. I did not... I hadn't intended..."
It's Lan Zhan's turn to swallow hard. WWX watches his throat work for a moment, then tears his eyes away.
"I am not confused," he insists. "And it wasn't kindness. I did not... I hadn't intended..."
It's Lan Zhan's turn to swallow hard. WWX watches his throat work for a moment, then tears his eyes away.
Slowly, Lan Zhan's hand drifts toward the eggs, resting lightly over the blankets.
"It wasn't...my intention to produce these eggs. But do you not understand? Do you not understand why I wished for them?"
WWX blinks.
"It wasn't...my intention to produce these eggs. But do you not understand? Do you not understand why I wished for them?"
WWX blinks.
"Of course I understand," he says slowly. "Who doesn't like kids? Of course you wanted some little ones to spoil. And why shouldn't you have some if you want them? The elders don't seem to mind."
Naturally, the elders would have liked it better if Lan Zhan let them arrange his marriage first. WWX understands that.
But nobody seems upset about the babies, even if they're arriving before Lan Zhan is properly married off.
But nobody seems upset about the babies, even if they're arriving before Lan Zhan is properly married off.
Everybody's very anxious to make sure Lan Zhan and the babies are healthy.
LXC, in particular, is obviously looking forward to being an uncle. He told WWX all about the cribs he commissioned and the seamstresses he hired to make up little clothes for the babies.
LXC, in particular, is obviously looking forward to being an uncle. He told WWX all about the cribs he commissioned and the seamstresses he hired to make up little clothes for the babies.
Everybody's happy for Lan Zhan to have some babies. So if Lan Zhan wants to become a parent, why shouldn't he?
But Lan Zhan only stares with a puzzled expression.
"Wei Ying likes children," he says.
"Yes." WWX blinks some more. "Yes, of course I do."
But Lan Zhan only stares with a puzzled expression.
"Wei Ying likes children," he says.
"Yes." WWX blinks some more. "Yes, of course I do."
Lan Zhan shifts back against the pillow. A little of the strange tension in his shoulders disappears.
"I knew that. From before." He hesitates. "When you studied here, you often spoke of how much you liked your sect's junior disciples."
"I knew that. From before." He hesitates. "When you studied here, you often spoke of how much you liked your sect's junior disciples."
WWX nods dutifully. He probably said something like that. It was true enough: that was one of the jobs he liked best, from his life before.
It's another thing that's lost to him now. But he had liked it, helping to train the little ones.
It's another thing that's lost to him now. But he had liked it, helping to train the little ones.
"You said," Lan Zhan adds, "that you wanted five children of your own."
WWX promptly buries his face in his hands. His cheeks burn. He can't even remember saying anything like that, but it's probably true. Lan Zhan wouldn't make something like that up.
WWX promptly buries his face in his hands. His cheeks burn. He can't even remember saying anything like that, but it's probably true. Lan Zhan wouldn't make something like that up.
And it sounds like the sort of reckless, impudent thing WWX might have said.
"Ah. Lan Zhan, that's just..." He clears his throat. "That was just talk, you know. What was I doing, talking about such intimate things in broad daylight? You should have scolded me."
"Ah. Lan Zhan, that's just..." He clears his throat. "That was just talk, you know. What was I doing, talking about such intimate things in broad daylight? You should have scolded me."
Lan Zhan gives him a long, intent stare.
"I did scold you. But I did not forget what you said." His expression flickers, changes in a way that WWX doesn't like. "You didn't mean it? Or you changed your mind."
He sounds...WWX doesn't even know how to quantify that tone of voice.
"I did scold you. But I did not forget what you said." His expression flickers, changes in a way that WWX doesn't like. "You didn't mean it? Or you changed your mind."
He sounds...WWX doesn't even know how to quantify that tone of voice.
He can't carve it up, measure it, make sense of it.
But Lan Zhan sounds discouraged, disappointed. He sounds hurt.
And WWX can't have that.
But Lan Zhan sounds discouraged, disappointed. He sounds hurt.
And WWX can't have that.
He'd rather rip out his own teeth, one by one, than talk about this. But talking about it hurts less that watching Lan Zhan sit alone with his eggs, looking hurt and sad and confused.
WWX opens his mouth. Without his permission, words tumble out.
WWX opens his mouth. Without his permission, words tumble out.
"I don't...have anything to give a child." He swallows around a dry throat. "Lan Zhan. Don't...play around. I don't have anything. You know that."
Lan Zhan is too good, too kind, to taunt someone who's lost everything.
Lan Zhan is too good, too kind, to taunt someone who's lost everything.
WWX knows that plenty of people would be glad to gloat, to smirk, to make him admit that he doesn't have anything to offer a family.
But Lan Zhan would never do that. And he still looks confused, like he doesn't understand what WWX could possibly mean.
But Lan Zhan would never do that. And he still looks confused, like he doesn't understand what WWX could possibly mean.
Maybe he's still disoriented and groggy from the nesting. If so, WWX will have to spell it out plainly. He draws in a deep rasping breath and folds his hands together.
"I don't have any money," he says flatly.
"I don't have any money," he says flatly.
"I don't have any affiliation with any sect, or any home, or anything. I can't give a child anything. So it's not that I changed my mind, but...things changed. You understand."
He falls silent and digs his teeth into his lower lip.
He falls silent and digs his teeth into his lower lip.
If things were different...
But, no. No, he won't think about that. He won't. He's spent months refusing to let himself look back, and he won't falter now.
Things AREN'T different.
But, no. No, he won't think about that. He won't. He's spent months refusing to let himself look back, and he won't falter now.
Things AREN'T different.
They are what they are.
WWX gave up more than he realized when he asked WQ to do the core transfer. He hadn't had time to think it through then. He hadn't even been sure any of them would survive the war.
WWX gave up more than he realized when he asked WQ to do the core transfer. He hadn't had time to think it through then. He hadn't even been sure any of them would survive the war.
But if he HAD thought about it, he might have reasoned that at least he could stay at Lotus Pier. At least he could stay near Shijie, near Jiang Cheng. At least he could stay in service to the Jiang sect, drawing talismans or something.
It would have been nothing more than a hazy dream, of course. WWX knows now that it would never have worked out.
But he could have pretended, tricked himself into believing that he wouldn't be giving up everything.
But he could have pretended, tricked himself into believing that he wouldn't be giving up everything.
He could have clung to the idea that maybe he would get to marry and have children some day, raising them in the warm sunshine of the lotus lakes.
That's gone now, through. Lan Zhan must realize that. He must know that WWX can't give anybody anything.
That's gone now, through. Lan Zhan must realize that. He must know that WWX can't give anybody anything.
He certainly can't offer anything to the babies. After all, they'll be raised in the splendor and prestige of Cloud Recesses. They'll deserve only the best.
If someone is going to serve as their father, it should be someone strong and powerful and well-connected.
If someone is going to serve as their father, it should be someone strong and powerful and well-connected.
Someone who can be a good match for Lan Zhan. Someone his family will approve of. Someone the babies can look up to, someone who can help teach them how to develop a golden core and fly the sword.
It can't be WWX.
But Lan Zhan only stares.
"This could be your home," he says.
It can't be WWX.
But Lan Zhan only stares.
"This could be your home," he says.
WWX draws in a quick, sharp breath.
"You could be affiliated with my sect," Lan Zhan continues. "If you need money, I will give it to you."
Lan Zhan shifts closer. WWX fights the twin urges to sway in and draw back.
"You could be affiliated with my sect," Lan Zhan continues. "If you need money, I will give it to you."
Lan Zhan shifts closer. WWX fights the twin urges to sway in and draw back.
"The children are descendants of the main family line," Lan Zhan adds. "They will never want for anything. Your...personal circumstances would not matter. They make no difference to me."
WWX feels hot. Then he feels cold, and then dizzy.
WWX feels hot. Then he feels cold, and then dizzy.
His eyes dart around the room, and it's miserable. The polished wood and the silk curtains seem to mock him.
He doesn't belong here. He could never belong here. If Lan Zhan is offering such things, then he must be more lightheaded that WWX thought.
He doesn't belong here. He could never belong here. If Lan Zhan is offering such things, then he must be more lightheaded that WWX thought.
"I can't," he chokes. "Lan Zhan. I can't."
He doesn't mean to look at Lan Zhan. He's trying to keep his eyes locked on the embroidered bed-hangings, which probably cost more than everything the Wens own put together.
He doesn't mean to look at Lan Zhan. He's trying to keep his eyes locked on the embroidered bed-hangings, which probably cost more than everything the Wens own put together.
Looking at that sort of thing helps. It reminds WWX not to tease himself with the idea of accepting.
Lan Zhan can't marry somebody with nothing. He can't have his children raised by the penniless and despised Yiling Patriarch. It's insane.
Lan Zhan can't marry somebody with nothing. He can't have his children raised by the penniless and despised Yiling Patriarch. It's insane.
But despite his best efforts, his eyes are drawn back to Lan Zhan. Something about Lan Zhan's expression is raw, cracked open, sadder than ever. WWX's stomach rocks.
"Is there someone else?" Lan Zhan asks softly.
WWX physically jolts, rocking backward on the chair.
"Is there someone else?" Lan Zhan asks softly.
WWX physically jolts, rocking backward on the chair.
"No. Lan Zhan. Stop."
It's grotesque. This entire conversation is a cruel mockery, taunting WWX with everything he could possibly want in this life or the next.
If he didn't know Lan Zhan so well, WWX would think it was deliberate: that he was being made fun of.
It's grotesque. This entire conversation is a cruel mockery, taunting WWX with everything he could possibly want in this life or the next.
If he didn't know Lan Zhan so well, WWX would think it was deliberate: that he was being made fun of.
Of course he can never have Lan Zhan. Of course there isn't anyone else. Of course nobody could have any use for him now.
It doesn't...Lan Zhan isn't making any sense at all.
But Lan Zhan shifts the eggs onto his lap, bundling his arms and the blankets around them.
It doesn't...Lan Zhan isn't making any sense at all.
But Lan Zhan shifts the eggs onto his lap, bundling his arms and the blankets around them.
He stares down at the eggs for a long time, then lifts his eyes to WWX's face.
"If there isn't someone else, then I don't understand." His voice grows stronger, more passionate. "Wei Ying. I would give you anything you desired. Your happiness would be my first priority."
"If there isn't someone else, then I don't understand." His voice grows stronger, more passionate. "Wei Ying. I would give you anything you desired. Your happiness would be my first priority."
WWX buries his face in his hands. He can't endure this.
"Why will you not let me try?"
Lan Zhan's fingers close around WWX's wrist, trying to pull his hands from his face.
"Even if you do not love me now, I could try. You might, your feelings for me might..."
"Why will you not let me try?"
Lan Zhan's fingers close around WWX's wrist, trying to pull his hands from his face.
"Even if you do not love me now, I could try. You might, your feelings for me might..."
He can't endure this, and he can't let Lan Zhan debase himself like this either. He can't allow Lan Zhan to beg, to grovel for WWX's affections. There's something fundamentally, horrifically wrong about that.
If nothing else, WWX has to nip THAT in the bud right away.
If nothing else, WWX has to nip THAT in the bud right away.
He scrubs his hands over his face and pretends that he can't feel the tears. He gives himself just a minute, pressing his sleeve to his eyes. Then he lowers his hands into his lap and forces a thin smile.
"Lan Zhan," he whispers. "Stop that. Ah. You're getting yourself all upset! It's not good for the eggs. Just stop."
Lan Zhan looks hurt, bewildered.
WWX isn't strong enough for eye contact, so he settles for readjusting the blanket laid over the eggs.
Lan Zhan looks hurt, bewildered.
WWX isn't strong enough for eye contact, so he settles for readjusting the blanket laid over the eggs.
"There's no sense in talking about this now!"
WWX's voice is as steady as he can manage, but that's not very steady. He sucks in a deep breath and tries to sound more decisive.
WWX's voice is as steady as he can manage, but that's not very steady. He sucks in a deep breath and tries to sound more decisive.
"You shouldn't, you shouldn't think about me at all. Just think about your eggs. You'll feel differently once they're hatched."
He passes a trembling hand over his mouth.
He passes a trembling hand over his mouth.
"You'll get back your energy and go back to work. You'll be so busy with your babies and your duties, you'll have no time for any husbands! You'll realize you were silly to even think you wanted something like that."
Lan Zhan will be horrified once his head is clear. WWX is sure of that.
Everything he's said, it must be the effect of having babies. It must be. He's only latching onto WWX because he's the one nearby.
Everything he's said, it must be the effect of having babies. It must be. He's only latching onto WWX because he's the one nearby.
WWX pushes away the memory of everything else Lan Zhan said: the part where Lan Zhan remembered that WWX wanted children, the part where Lan Zhan said he was worrying and thinking about WWX even when they were apart.
He shoved it all into a tiny box at the back of his mind, locks it, and throws away the key.
It can't be true. Or if it is, it's not as true as Lan Zhan thinks.
Maybe there was a tiny crush, or something like that. Maybe Lan Zhan nurtured a few tender feelings toward him.
It can't be true. Or if it is, it's not as true as Lan Zhan thinks.
Maybe there was a tiny crush, or something like that. Maybe Lan Zhan nurtured a few tender feelings toward him.
In different circumstances, that would be enough. WWX would happily settle for that. He'd take whatever he could get, and seize the opportunity to make Lan Zhan like him even more.
But it's not enough now.
But it's not enough now.
And if Lan Zhan is magnifying it in his own mind - latching onto a teenage crush and thinking it's worth tying his fortunes to WWX's - then WWX has to stop him.
He has to believe that Lan Zhan will thank him for it later.
He has to believe that Lan Zhan will thank him for it later.
When his babies are hatched. When Lan Zhan has a chance to realize how terrible it would've been to let WWX claim them. Then Lan Zhan will thank him.
Lan Zhan's face goes hard.
WWX expects to be pushed away, kicked out of CR. He expects Lan Zhan to angry, offended, insulted.
Lan Zhan's face goes hard.
WWX expects to be pushed away, kicked out of CR. He expects Lan Zhan to angry, offended, insulted.
That would be fair enough. Someone like Lan Zhan has the right to expect better treatment than this. He has the right to expect grateful acceptance when he chooses to make a proposal.
But Lan Zhan's grips tightens on WWX's wrist, then loosens.
But Lan Zhan's grips tightens on WWX's wrist, then loosens.
"You think I don't know my own mind." His voice is slow and steady. "You believe that I am only saying these things because...."
He takes a deep breath, then lets it out. His shoulders relax and the knot of tension between his brows disappears.
He takes a deep breath, then lets it out. His shoulders relax and the knot of tension between his brows disappears.
"I see." Lan Zhan cradles the eggs his lap and gives a firm nod. "I understand your concerns."
He meets WWX's gaze steadily, and his eyes are blazing. He's so beautiful WWX can't bear to look at him, and he turns away.
He meets WWX's gaze steadily, and his eyes are blazing. He's so beautiful WWX can't bear to look at him, and he turns away.
"I will repeat what I have said after the eggs are hatched," Lan Zhan declares. "Once I have recovered, I will repeat it all. Then you will know that I mean what I say."
"All right," WWX whispers.
"All right," WWX whispers.
He feels numb, hollowed out. But he tries to cover up Lan Zhan with the blankets, guiding him against the pillow.
"All right. Just...just rest for now. Okay? Just lie down and sleep. Save up your energy for the babies."
"All right. Just...just rest for now. Okay? Just lie down and sleep. Save up your energy for the babies."
Lan Zhan is pliant, and he allows WWX to settle him on the bed. He rolls onto his side, drawing up his knees and bundling the eggs in the curve of his belly.
WWX sits by his bedside longer than he means to.
WWX sits by his bedside longer than he means to.
The moments slip away, and he plans to leave. But he doesn't think his knees will support him if he tries to stand.
So he sits there until his heartbeat slows a little. Until he can breathe without feeling a knife between his ribs.
At last, he rises to his feet.
So he sits there until his heartbeat slows a little. Until he can breathe without feeling a knife between his ribs.
At last, he rises to his feet.
But Lan Zhan catches at his sleeve, guiding his hand down to settle over Little Blue.
"Will you not feed them just once?" he whispers.
WWX makes a small, pained sound. But Lan Zhan doesn't understand, and he clutches at WWX's hand as he tries to draw it back.
"Will you not feed them just once?" he whispers.
WWX makes a small, pained sound. But Lan Zhan doesn't understand, and he clutches at WWX's hand as he tries to draw it back.
"I will not tell anyone, or ask you for any formal claim."
He captures WWX's hand between both of his, pressing it against Little Blue's shell.
"If you don't wish to be listed as the father in the family record, I will respect that."
He captures WWX's hand between both of his, pressing it against Little Blue's shell.
"If you don't wish to be listed as the father in the family record, I will respect that."
He takes a deep breath, and it hitches audibly.
"I won't ask you to marry me if you don't wish it."
There's a fine tremor in Lan Zhan's voice, but his hands are steady.
"Will you feed them just once? So they always know your energy? I only ask you to do it once."
"I won't ask you to marry me if you don't wish it."
There's a fine tremor in Lan Zhan's voice, but his hands are steady.
"Will you feed them just once? So they always know your energy? I only ask you to do it once."
WWX's heart is broken, shattered, crumbling into a million pieces. And that's why he doesn't understand what's happening until it's too late.
"I can't," he stammers. "Lan Zhan. I can't. Lan Zhan, don't..."
Don't ask me for this, he means to say.
"I can't," he stammers. "Lan Zhan. I can't. Lan Zhan, don't..."
Don't ask me for this, he means to say.
But then he feels Lan Zhan's energy flooding into his meridians, searching, trying to latch onto WWX's.
He's trying to make himself a bridge, trying to guide WWX's energy toward the egg. His hands, clasping around WWX's wrist, are desperate.
Panic flashes through WWX's body.
He's trying to make himself a bridge, trying to guide WWX's energy toward the egg. His hands, clasping around WWX's wrist, are desperate.
Panic flashes through WWX's body.
"Don't!"
His voice is too loud, too sharp. He tries to yank his hand away.
But Lan Zhan is stronger than him, even now. Even after feeding three eggs all by himself, he's so strong. He clings to WWX, and his energy is inside WWX's body, hot and surging.
His voice is too loud, too sharp. He tries to yank his hand away.
But Lan Zhan is stronger than him, even now. Even after feeding three eggs all by himself, he's so strong. He clings to WWX, and his energy is inside WWX's body, hot and surging.
And then it's gone. It disappears suddenly, like a tide pulled out to sea.
Lan Zhan's grip loosens and WWX tears himself away. But it's too late.
Lan Zhan stares up at him, his face pale, his eyes wide with horror.
Lan Zhan's grip loosens and WWX tears himself away. But it's too late.
Lan Zhan stares up at him, his face pale, his eyes wide with horror.
( ....😇
Pausing here for now! More soon-ish!
Bump to the masterpost for this threadfic:
Pausing here for now! More soon-ish!
Bump to the masterpost for this threadfic:
https://twitter.com/cicerfics/status/1420109222424072199)
🐉🥚🥚🥚
(We're back! We're still in the Jingshi! LWJ just learned the horrible truth about WWX's core!
Everybody is having an awful-no-good-very-bad day! Let's watch them have no fun whatsoever!!)
(We're back! We're still in the Jingshi! LWJ just learned the horrible truth about WWX's core!
Everybody is having an awful-no-good-very-bad day! Let's watch them have no fun whatsoever!!)
A tiny part of WWX's brain - the small rational sliver way at the back - tells him to stay calm.
He's vaguely aware that he should sit down and take a deep breath. Then he should tell Lan Zhan everything.
He's vaguely aware that he should sit down and take a deep breath. Then he should tell Lan Zhan everything.
It's too late to hide the truth.
Lan Zhan knows - he must have felt - WWX's missing golden core. So WWX might as well give Lan Zhan the full story now. Any further concealment would be impossible and absurd.
Lan Zhan knows - he must have felt - WWX's missing golden core. So WWX might as well give Lan Zhan the full story now. Any further concealment would be impossible and absurd.
But that's tiny rational sliver of WWX's mind shrinks with every passing second. Soon it vanishes altogether, like the moon passing behind a cloud.
Lan Zhan pushes himself up shakily. He reaches for WWX again. His face is ashen, but his mouth shapes WWX's name.
Lan Zhan pushes himself up shakily. He reaches for WWX again. His face is ashen, but his mouth shapes WWX's name.
His hand reaches slowly, tentatively, for WWX's wrist.
That's what finally breaks the spell.
WWX's stumbles back, knocking over his chair. It clatters against the floor, much too loud for the aptly-named Jingshi. And that seems like further proof that WWX doesn't belong here.
That's what finally breaks the spell.
WWX's stumbles back, knocking over his chair. It clatters against the floor, much too loud for the aptly-named Jingshi. And that seems like further proof that WWX doesn't belong here.
That he doesn't belong with Lan Zhan.
WWX can't keep his eyes on Lan Zhan now. He can't.
Usually, it's hard to tear his eyes away. It's hard to look at anything else when Lan Zhan is in the room. But Lan Zhan's expressions is awful: horrified, distraught, distressed.
WWX can't keep his eyes on Lan Zhan now. He can't.
Usually, it's hard to tear his eyes away. It's hard to look at anything else when Lan Zhan is in the room. But Lan Zhan's expressions is awful: horrified, distraught, distressed.
WWX can't stay here after putting that sort of expression on Lan Zhan's face. He CAN'T stay here. He can't talk about this. He can't explain anything.
Explanations are surely unnecessary, anyway. Now that Lan Zhan knows the truth, he'll know why WWX can't stay.
Explanations are surely unnecessary, anyway. Now that Lan Zhan knows the truth, he'll know why WWX can't stay.
He will, in time, be glad to see WWX go.
So WWX bolts.
He abandons his bag, which holds the few meager possessions he's managed to put together in the last couple of weeks.
It holds the protective talismans for the babies. A gift for his future nephew.
So WWX bolts.
He abandons his bag, which holds the few meager possessions he's managed to put together in the last couple of weeks.
It holds the protective talismans for the babies. A gift for his future nephew.
There's also a letter from JYL, forwarded to WWX in CR.
WWX would like to keep that. But there's no time. Lan Zhan tries to push himself off the bed, stumbling to his feet. He's still reaching for WWX.
So WWX turns, and he runs.
WWX would like to keep that. But there's no time. Lan Zhan tries to push himself off the bed, stumbling to his feet. He's still reaching for WWX.
So WWX turns, and he runs.
He flings open the door and catapults down the path, tracing his way down the mountain.
Some Lan disciple yells as he sprints through the courtyard gates. For a brief hysterical moment, WWX wants to laugh: even after everything, he's STILL getting yelled at for running in CR!
Some Lan disciple yells as he sprints through the courtyard gates. For a brief hysterical moment, WWX wants to laugh: even after everything, he's STILL getting yelled at for running in CR!
For a moment, it's like he's fifteen again.
But the moment passes. Adrenaline surges through WWX's veins, wiping away any trace of hysterical humor.
WWX runs blindly, careless of the direction. He doesn't have anything except the clothes on his back.
But the moment passes. Adrenaline surges through WWX's veins, wiping away any trace of hysterical humor.
WWX runs blindly, careless of the direction. He doesn't have anything except the clothes on his back.
Chenqing is looped through his belt, and a handful of talismans are stuffed into his sleeve.
But he doesn't know where to go, or what he should do now. Vaguely, he thinks he'll have to disappear. He'll have to find a way to vanish into the trees and hills and rivers.
But he doesn't know where to go, or what he should do now. Vaguely, he thinks he'll have to disappear. He'll have to find a way to vanish into the trees and hills and rivers.
He has to go away, and never speak to anyone he knows ever again. It seems like the only option left to him.
If Lan Zhan knows that WWX doesn't have a golden core anymore, then he's bound to tell his family. And the Lans will tell JC and JYL. Then everyone will know.
If Lan Zhan knows that WWX doesn't have a golden core anymore, then he's bound to tell his family. And the Lans will tell JC and JYL. Then everyone will know.
And WWX can't...
He can't handle any of this right now. So he runs until there's a cramp in his leg and a stitch in his side. He runs until each breath burns in his throat.
He's out of shape, still half-starved from his time in the Burial Mounds.
He can't handle any of this right now. So he runs until there's a cramp in his leg and a stitch in his side. He runs until each breath burns in his throat.
He's out of shape, still half-starved from his time in the Burial Mounds.
He doesn't have the stamina he used to, and panic makes his knees shaky. His eyes ache, his throat aches, and he wants to just lie down in the dirt and crumble into dust.
He doesn't want to survive this. He doesn't see how he can.
He doesn't want to survive this. He doesn't see how he can.
Fortunately for him, he overtakes WQ on her way back to the new Wen settlement.
She's loping down the path, a half-asleep A-Yuan in her arms. When she hears running footsteps, she turns. One hand drops to a knife in her belt.
But she relaxes when she sees WWX.
She's loping down the path, a half-asleep A-Yuan in her arms. When she hears running footsteps, she turns. One hand drops to a knife in her belt.
But she relaxes when she sees WWX.
Then she sees his sweaty skin. She takes in the look of pale, desperate panic that must be spread across his face. And she stiffens.
"What happened?" she demands sharply. "Is it Hanguang-Jun? Is something wrong with the eggs?"
"What happened?" she demands sharply. "Is it Hanguang-Jun? Is something wrong with the eggs?"
She tries to free her hands by putting A-Yuan back on his feet. He makes a grumpy sound, but wakes enough to stand on his own. He sways against her leg, rubbing his eyes with a fist.
WWX staggers to a stop some distance away.
WWX staggers to a stop some distance away.
He's running on pure instinct now. Instinct is screaming at him to get away. To run from every other human being on earth.
But the burst of adrenaline that carried him this far is fading. He's reminded that he pushed his weakened body past its limitations.
But the burst of adrenaline that carried him this far is fading. He's reminded that he pushed his weakened body past its limitations.
He's nauseated, trembling, covered in a cold sweat.
When WQ grabs his arm, she reels him in easily.
"Wei Wuxian! What happened? Is someone sick? Are the eggs hatching prematurely? Am I needed up the mountain?"
When WQ grabs his arm, she reels him in easily.
"Wei Wuxian! What happened? Is someone sick? Are the eggs hatching prematurely? Am I needed up the mountain?"
Her expression shifts, settling into her doctor-face.
WWX can see her running through a mental catalogue: making up a list of whatever herbs or needles she's carrying in her sleeves, planning out the supplies she would have to request from the Lans.
WWX can see her running through a mental catalogue: making up a list of whatever herbs or needles she's carrying in her sleeves, planning out the supplies she would have to request from the Lans.
It's not an unreasonable assumption. If there WAS something wrong with Lan Zhan or the eggs, WWX would run for WQ as fast as his legs could carry him.
But he shakes his head. Then he sinks down to sit on the path.
But he shakes his head. Then he sinks down to sit on the path.
A-Yuan rubs his eyes again. He blinks drowsily.
He doesn't seem to realize anything is wrong. Instead, he stumbles over to WWX and drops into his lap. Then he snuggles against WWX's chest, as if he means to take his overdue nap right there.
He doesn't seem to realize anything is wrong. Instead, he stumbles over to WWX and drops into his lap. Then he snuggles against WWX's chest, as if he means to take his overdue nap right there.
WWX bursts into tears.
He doesn't mean to. He tries his best to keep A-Yuan from noticing. But the tears well up, and they spill over. He wipes them with his sleeve, but they spill over again.
WQ drops into a crouch at his side. Her face is pale now, too, and openly alarmed.
He doesn't mean to. He tries his best to keep A-Yuan from noticing. But the tears well up, and they spill over. He wipes them with his sleeve, but they spill over again.
WQ drops into a crouch at his side. Her face is pale now, too, and openly alarmed.
"What is it?" she hisses, pitching her voice low for A-Yuan's sake. "Jiang Yanli? Her hatching...?"
WWX bunches his sleeve against his face and shakes his head. WQ tries to tug his hands away so she can peer into his eyes.
"Jiang Wanyin, then? Something is wrong at Lotus Pier?"
WWX bunches his sleeve against his face and shakes his head. WQ tries to tug his hands away so she can peer into his eyes.
"Jiang Wanyin, then? Something is wrong at Lotus Pier?"
WWX shakes his head again.
He's had letters from both Shijie and JC in the last few days. Shijie's was warm and gentle, gracefully skirting over his relocation to CR.
She hadn't asked a single question, besides wanting to know if he was well and safe.
He's had letters from both Shijie and JC in the last few days. Shijie's was warm and gentle, gracefully skirting over his relocation to CR.
She hadn't asked a single question, besides wanting to know if he was well and safe.
She was told that WWX had been accepted into CR for rest and medical treatment, not punishment or imprisonment. Zewu-Jun had given her his personal assurance that WWX would be treated gently.
But she wouldn't believe it until she received a letter in WWX's own hand.
But she wouldn't believe it until she received a letter in WWX's own hand.
She hadn't asked why he went to the Lans, rather than trying to return to the Jiang sect. She hadn't scolded him, or said a single harsh word. She just said that her egg was growing well, and she hoped it would hatch within a few more months. She hoped he could come to see it.
JC's letter had been similar in content, though a little different in tone. It was awkward and stilted, full of clumsy omissions.
He, too, wanted a personal assurance that WWX had not been punished harshly by the Lans. He, too, spoke of Shijie's baby.
He, too, wanted a personal assurance that WWX had not been punished harshly by the Lans. He, too, spoke of Shijie's baby.
He mentioned the preparations underway at Koi Tower for the celebrations that would occur once the egg hatched. He mentioned that Lotus Pier would host a full week of celebrations, too.
They were both healthy and safe, at least. WWX had clung to that.
They were both healthy and safe, at least. WWX had clung to that.
But he struggled to compose a letter in reply. He didn't know what to say.
Shijie and JC were both safe. Lotus Pier was rebuilding. Everything was fine.
WWX had meant to tell WQ about all that when he saw her next. But he can't muster up the words now.
Shijie and JC were both safe. Lotus Pier was rebuilding. Everything was fine.
WWX had meant to tell WQ about all that when he saw her next. But he can't muster up the words now.
He just shakes his head again, as she asks him what's wrong.
Finally, when WQ looks desperate enough to try to beat it out him, WWX swallows around a gravelly throat. He blinks away the last of the tears and hauls in a deep, trembling breath.
"Lan Zhan knows," he says.
Finally, when WQ looks desperate enough to try to beat it out him, WWX swallows around a gravelly throat. He blinks away the last of the tears and hauls in a deep, trembling breath.
"Lan Zhan knows," he says.
He can't manage any more than that.
But he doesn't need to. There's only one discovery that could have this sort of effect on him. WQ's eyes go wide.
"You told him?" Her voice is hushed.
WWX gives a jerky shake of his head.
But he doesn't need to. There's only one discovery that could have this sort of effect on him. WQ's eyes go wide.
"You told him?" Her voice is hushed.
WWX gives a jerky shake of his head.
WQ's shoulders slump. She pinches the bridge of her nose. Then she runs a weary hand over her face.
"He figured it out on his own," she concludes. "He asked you to feed the eggs, and you couldn't, and he figured out why."
"He figured it out on his own," she concludes. "He asked you to feed the eggs, and you couldn't, and he figured out why."
It's near enough to the truth. WWX has no wish to fill in all the gory details. So he gives another sharp jerk of his head.
Then he clutches at A-Yuan and buries his face in A-Yuan's hair. A-Yuan makes a sleepy sound, and his thumb drifts into his mouth.
Then he clutches at A-Yuan and buries his face in A-Yuan's hair. A-Yuan makes a sleepy sound, and his thumb drifts into his mouth.
WWX shut his burning eyes and tries to find relief in the temporary darkness.
WQ lets out a long sigh. She touches his shoulder. Then there's a rustle as she pushes herself to her feet.
"We'll go back to the settlement. I'll talk to Zewu-Jun. We'll figure out what to do next."
WQ lets out a long sigh. She touches his shoulder. Then there's a rustle as she pushes herself to her feet.
"We'll go back to the settlement. I'll talk to Zewu-Jun. We'll figure out what to do next."
She has concluded - correctly, WWX assumes - that Lan Zhan will definitely tell his family all about his discovery. But she's taking it very calmly.
WWX opens his eyes to stare at her.
"I have to leave," he says.
WWX opens his eyes to stare at her.
"I have to leave," he says.
He can't wait and see what the Lans have to say about this. He doesn't even know what their reaction will be, but he's both panicked and determined to assume the worst.
So he has to disappear into the wilderness, change his name, vanish entirely.
So he has to disappear into the wilderness, change his name, vanish entirely.
He has to be gone before LXC or LQR can hear about this.
But WQ scoffs.
"And go where?" she demands."Don't be ridiculous. You don't think...?"
But as she takes a closer look at WWX's face, she trails off into silence.
But WQ scoffs.
"And go where?" she demands."Don't be ridiculous. You don't think...?"
But as she takes a closer look at WWX's face, she trails off into silence.
The narrative voice will now intrude to emphasize that there is one whole entire braincell in this story. And it is under the sole guardianship of our beloved WQ.
After all, she's smart enough to figure things out pretty quickly. She knows WWX well enough to guess his thoughts.
After all, she's smart enough to figure things out pretty quickly. She knows WWX well enough to guess his thoughts.
As it happens, WQ is NOT convinced that the golden core reveal is an unmitigated disaster.
Obviously, it's far from ideal. But the Lans have proven surprisingly considerate of her family, now that they know her relatives never participated in combat.
Obviously, it's far from ideal. But the Lans have proven surprisingly considerate of her family, now that they know her relatives never participated in combat.
In their talks, LXC has expressed particular concern for A-Yuan and Granny.
He wants to make sure that A-Yuan has a proper education, and that Granny receives the comforts that a woman of her age deserves.
WQ is not naive. She knows that the Lan sect is flawed.
He wants to make sure that A-Yuan has a proper education, and that Granny receives the comforts that a woman of her age deserves.
WQ is not naive. She knows that the Lan sect is flawed.
She isn't placing implicit faith in anyone. But she also knows that LXC is well-intentioned and fair-minded. He has a reputation for being concerned about anyone who has been mistreated or placed in a vulnerable position.
He certainly does NOT have a reputation for taking ruthless advantage of other people's injuries, illnesses, or weaknesses.
She doesn't think that he'll expose WWX or abandon him to the sects once he learns the truth. She doesn't think he'll put WWX in chains, either.
She doesn't think that he'll expose WWX or abandon him to the sects once he learns the truth. She doesn't think he'll put WWX in chains, either.
If he wanted to do THAT, he would have tried it already.
And she's even less convinced that this discovery will make any difference to LWJ. She can sense which way the wind is blowing, and she's already guessed that LWJ is trying to marry WWX.
And she's even less convinced that this discovery will make any difference to LWJ. She can sense which way the wind is blowing, and she's already guessed that LWJ is trying to marry WWX.
She doesn't have a personal relationship with the famous Hanguang-Jun. But she doesn't get the impression he's the type to retract his overtures once he's decided to make them.
He doesn't strike her as the fair-weather type, the kind who would withdraw a marriage proposal once he discovers it isn't as advantageous a union as he believed.
But she takes one look at WWX's face, and instantly realizes that she's alone in that belief.
But she takes one look at WWX's face, and instantly realizes that she's alone in that belief.
WWX clearly DOES think that LWJ will abandon him. WWX clearly DOES think that LXC will withdraw all amnesty and offers of aid.
And if she's going to argue with WWX, she'd better not do it out here on the road, while there's a sleeping child in WWX's lap.
And if she's going to argue with WWX, she'd better not do it out here on the road, while there's a sleeping child in WWX's lap.
So she sighs and reaches out to lift A-Yuan into her arms.
"We'll speak to the Lans," she says.
She strives for a calm, confident tone. The kind she always uses at the bedside of gravely ill patients and their panicked families.
"We'll speak to the Lans," she says.
She strives for a calm, confident tone. The kind she always uses at the bedside of gravely ill patients and their panicked families.
"I don't think they'll take advantage of this discovery. But if they do, there will be time to figure out how to handle that later."
She shifts A-Yuan to her hip and reaches down to tug WWX to his feet.
She shifts A-Yuan to her hip and reaches down to tug WWX to his feet.
"So we'll go home and see A-Ning. We'll put A-Yuan to bed. We'll sit down and drink some tea. Then we'll decide what to do about this."
The adrenaline is seeping out of WWX's body, leaving him exhausted and achy.
The adrenaline is seeping out of WWX's body, leaving him exhausted and achy.
There's still an itchy restlessness in his bones, urging him to run away and hide like an injured animal.
But WQ keeps a firm grip on his arm and tows him down the road. It's easier to cooperate than it is to run. So WWX limps alone, sore and heartsick and numb.
But WQ keeps a firm grip on his arm and tows him down the road. It's easier to cooperate than it is to run. So WWX limps alone, sore and heartsick and numb.
...Meanwhile, back in Cloud Recesses, LWJ is standing at the door of the Jingshi and screaming WWX's name.
He managed to drag a sheet around himself as he left the bed. So at least he isn't giving the entirety of Cloud Recesses a free show. But he's still very much undressed.
He managed to drag a sheet around himself as he left the bed. So at least he isn't giving the entirety of Cloud Recesses a free show. But he's still very much undressed.
He's also very much unwilling to move past the threshold.
He wants to chase after WWX. If there weren't three eggs waiting in the bed, he'd grab Bichen and overtake WWX in seconds.
But he can't take the eggs WITH him.
He wants to chase after WWX. If there weren't three eggs waiting in the bed, he'd grab Bichen and overtake WWX in seconds.
But he can't take the eggs WITH him.
They're too big to carry, and he's afraid to take them outside the safety of the nesting chamber.
And he can't bear to leave them behind, not even for a few minutes. Every instinct rebels against it. The eggs haven't been out of his sight since he delivered them.
And he can't bear to leave them behind, not even for a few minutes. Every instinct rebels against it. The eggs haven't been out of his sight since he delivered them.
He knows, rationally, that the eggs would be all right by themselves for an hour or two. No one in Cloud Recesses would harm them, and they've been fed recently. They could be left alone for a bit.
But LWJ isn't capable of thinking rationally just now.
But LWJ isn't capable of thinking rationally just now.
He's caught between two desperate and equally powerful instincts: to find WWX and keep him safe, and to guard his eggs in a quiet and isolated area.
So he resorts to standing in the doorway and screaming for WWX.
Needless to say, he attracts some stares.
So he resorts to standing in the doorway and screaming for WWX.
Needless to say, he attracts some stares.
One disciple takes a single look at LWJ and peels off, running for the physicians.
The other disciples crowd around the courtyard anxiously, murmuring to each other.
They don't approach him. Once bitten, twice shy! But they keep an eye on LWJ, just in case he collapses.
The other disciples crowd around the courtyard anxiously, murmuring to each other.
They don't approach him. Once bitten, twice shy! But they keep an eye on LWJ, just in case he collapses.
And that's the scene that LXC and LQR stumble open.
They were talking in LXC's study when they saw a disciple sprinting toward the physician's offices, coming from the direction of the Jingshi.
Naturally, they rushed off to check on LWJ.
They were talking in LXC's study when they saw a disciple sprinting toward the physician's offices, coming from the direction of the Jingshi.
Naturally, they rushed off to check on LWJ.
And now here he is: mostly naked, his modesty barely protected by a thin sheet, screaming for WWX like his heart is breaking.
LXC puts on an extra burst of speed and gets to his brother before their uncle can arrive. He catches at LWJ's shoulders.
LXC puts on an extra burst of speed and gets to his brother before their uncle can arrive. He catches at LWJ's shoulders.
"Wangji!" He tries to draw LWJ away from the wide-eyed disciples. "What are you doing out of bed?"
But when he tries to maneuver his brother inside, LWJ fights him.
"Wei Ying." He clutches at LXC's sleeve, his eyes full of heart-wrenching desperation. "You have to find him."
But when he tries to maneuver his brother inside, LWJ fights him.
"Wei Ying." He clutches at LXC's sleeve, his eyes full of heart-wrenching desperation. "You have to find him."
LXC draws in a sharp breath.
"He LEFT?"
Whatever LXC was expecting, it wasn't that.
He knows that WWX has been very secretive and reserved, very closed-mouth with their entire sect. But he also knows that WWX has been positively doting with Wangji.
"He LEFT?"
Whatever LXC was expecting, it wasn't that.
He knows that WWX has been very secretive and reserved, very closed-mouth with their entire sect. But he also knows that WWX has been positively doting with Wangji.
During his admittedly brief time at CR, WWX has shown the utmost consideration for Wangji's health.
For a moment, LXC can't quite make himself believe that WWX would have left. That he would have walked away, leaving Wangji standing here and calling after him so desperately.
For a moment, LXC can't quite make himself believe that WWX would have left. That he would have walked away, leaving Wangji standing here and calling after him so desperately.
But WWX clearly isn't anywhere to be found. He hasn't come running when he heard Wangji calling his name. So he must, indeed, have left.
"Brother," Wangji chokes out.
The word almost comes out as a whimper. Then he bursts into tears.
"Brother," Wangji chokes out.
The word almost comes out as a whimper. Then he bursts into tears.
LXC's grip tightens on his brother's shoulders. Before he has a chance to draw his next breath, he's already chosen the spot where he plans to bury WWX's body.
Uncle jogs up to meet them. His eyes are shocked and horrified as he takes in Wangji's condition.
Uncle jogs up to meet them. His eyes are shocked and horrified as he takes in Wangji's condition.
LXC exchanges a grim look with Uncle as he transfers Wangji over to his care.
"I'll find him," LXC says tersely. "Wangji, I promise you. I WILL find him. Let Uncle take you inside, back to your nest. I'll find Wei Wuxian and bring him back."
"I'll find him," LXC says tersely. "Wangji, I promise you. I WILL find him. Let Uncle take you inside, back to your nest. I'll find Wei Wuxian and bring him back."
LQR takes hold of Wangji, and LXC only pauses a moment to wait until the Jingshi door has slid shut behind them.
Then he marches away, unsheathing his sword and preparing to fly down the mountain.
WWX cannot have gone far, not on foot. LXC will overtake him quickly enough.
Then he marches away, unsheathing his sword and preparing to fly down the mountain.
WWX cannot have gone far, not on foot. LXC will overtake him quickly enough.
He wonders if Wangji would be VERY upset if WWX sustained a few broken bones in the trip back to Cloud Recesses.
LXC could claim that it was an accident, perhaps?
LXC could claim that it was an accident, perhaps?
While LXC is thinking his dark thoughts, LQR is busy guiding LWJ back to bed.
LWJ goes quietly, satisfied that someone is chasing after WWX. If he can't do it himself, at least his brother can. And he promised to bring WWX back. LWJ clings to that promise with all his might.
LWJ goes quietly, satisfied that someone is chasing after WWX. If he can't do it himself, at least his brother can. And he promised to bring WWX back. LWJ clings to that promise with all his might.
He can't think of anything else. His mind is in chaos, ripping itself to shreds. He tries to stop crying, but discovers that he can't.
LQR watches for a moment in silent distress. He hasn't seen his nephew cry like this since he was a very young child.
LQR watches for a moment in silent distress. He hasn't seen his nephew cry like this since he was a very young child.
It was not a sight he ever wished to see again.
"Wangji. Sit down." LQR finds a cup of water and presses it into his nephew's hands. "Drink this. Breathe deeply."
Wangji tries. But as soon as he fills his lungs with air, he bursts into another round of tears.
"Wangji. Sit down." LQR finds a cup of water and presses it into his nephew's hands. "Drink this. Breathe deeply."
Wangji tries. But as soon as he fills his lungs with air, he bursts into another round of tears.
LQR grips his arm tightly.
"Breath, Wangji. There is no need to upset youself." He presses his lips together. "If Wei Wuxian is so unworthy as to turn his back on you-"
After all, anyone who would dare to jilt his nephews could not possibly be worth regretting.
"Breath, Wangji. There is no need to upset youself." He presses his lips together. "If Wei Wuxian is so unworthy as to turn his back on you-"
After all, anyone who would dare to jilt his nephews could not possibly be worth regretting.
If WWX doesn't have enough sense to treasure Wangji's affections, they are well rid of him!
For a moment, LQR dares to hope that this incident might bring his nephew to his senses. Perhaps now, Wangji's regard for WWX will vanish.
For a moment, LQR dares to hope that this incident might bring his nephew to his senses. Perhaps now, Wangji's regard for WWX will vanish.
Perhaps he will devote himself to his children, return to his duties, and carry on: older and wiser after discovering his boyhood affections were misplaced.
But Wangji makes an anguished sound and clutches at LQR's hand. His nails dig into LQR's flesh.
But Wangji makes an anguished sound and clutches at LQR's hand. His nails dig into LQR's flesh.
"He's not. Uncle. He doesn't, he doesn't have...."
They are interrupted by the physician, who hurried over along with the disciple who sprinted across CR in a panic.
The disciple is quickly dismissed, but the physician settles his bag on the table and shuts the door.
They are interrupted by the physician, who hurried over along with the disciple who sprinted across CR in a panic.
The disciple is quickly dismissed, but the physician settles his bag on the table and shuts the door.
After taking one look at Wangji, the man promptly takes out a series of herbs. He turns to the fire and begins to compound some sort of remedy.
LQR can only hope that whatever he prepares will help to calm Wangji.
LQR can only hope that whatever he prepares will help to calm Wangji.
For a heart-stopping instant, LQR remembers his brother's wild grief when he was told that his child had not survived the hatching.
LQR casts an anxious glance at the three eggs nestled in the blankets. They're much larger than THAT poor egg ever was.
LQR casts an anxious glance at the three eggs nestled in the blankets. They're much larger than THAT poor egg ever was.
His brother's egg had been small and feeble. It had never grown as it should. The shell had been thin and pale, while Wangji's eggs were vibrant and gleaming.
...Surely history would not repeat itself?
But if Wangji cannot be calmed, LQR fears the worst.
...Surely history would not repeat itself?
But if Wangji cannot be calmed, LQR fears the worst.
He tries to guide his nephew down on the bed, pillowing Wangji's head in his lap. He smooths the loose hair away from Wangji's damp, sweaty forehead.
But Wangji retains a tight grip on his hand.
"I wanted..."
But Wangji retains a tight grip on his hand.
"I wanted..."
Wangji's voice is barely a whisper, trembling like a sapling in the breeze.
"I...I wanted him to feed the eggs. He wouldn't. And I pushed him."
His voice shakes harder.
"I tried to force him. I sought out his energy and tried to direct it toward the eggs."
"I...I wanted him to feed the eggs. He wouldn't. And I pushed him."
His voice shakes harder.
"I tried to force him. I sought out his energy and tried to direct it toward the eggs."
LQR listens, mute with horror.
It was very wrong of Wangji to do such a thing. It was quite a violation, in fact!
LQR has grown impatient himself, waiting for WWX to declare his intentions and take responsibility for the children. But Wangji should not have forced matters.
It was very wrong of Wangji to do such a thing. It was quite a violation, in fact!
LQR has grown impatient himself, waiting for WWX to declare his intentions and take responsibility for the children. But Wangji should not have forced matters.
Yet he cannot say so now. Wangji's voice is threaded with pain approaching anguish. He must know that he has done wrong.
"But he he didn't..."
Wangji voice hitches and comes out as a horse whisper.
"Uncle. He doesn't have a golden core anymore."
"But he he didn't..."
Wangji voice hitches and comes out as a horse whisper.
"Uncle. He doesn't have a golden core anymore."
At first, the words don't sink in.
LQR stares down at his nephew blankly. It takes a long moment to recover his voice.
"Are you quite certain?" he asks blankly. "Wangji...you are tired and distressed. Perhaps you made a mistake."
LQR stares down at his nephew blankly. It takes a long moment to recover his voice.
"Are you quite certain?" he asks blankly. "Wangji...you are tired and distressed. Perhaps you made a mistake."
He's hardly prepared to put faith in Wangji's ability to interpret any situation at present. Wangji is obviously panicked and distraught. His mind is clouded with worry for the eggs. It is a seething mess of conflicting instincts.
Surely he is mistaken.
Surely he is mistaken.
He must have traced WWX's meridians incorrectly. He must have bungled things in his wild attempt to force WWX to accept the children.
Wangji only buries his face in LQR's lap. His shoulders shake with silent sobs, and LQR cannot bear that.
Wangji only buries his face in LQR's lap. His shoulders shake with silent sobs, and LQR cannot bear that.
"Wangji." He strokes his nephews back, the way he did when Wangji was an infant. "Be calm. You must be mistaken."
"I felt it." Wangji's voice is muffled against LQR's robes. "He KNEW. When he saw that I knew, he fled. He's gone."
LQR stiffens at that reminder.
"I felt it." Wangji's voice is muffled against LQR's robes. "He KNEW. When he saw that I knew, he fled. He's gone."
LQR stiffens at that reminder.
"Well. Never mind THAT."
LQR reaches out, carefully bundling the eggs into a blanket and drawing them closer to Wangji.
"Your brother will retrieve him. He will bring Wei Wuxian back shortly. He cannot have gone far."
LQR reaches out, carefully bundling the eggs into a blanket and drawing them closer to Wangji.
"Your brother will retrieve him. He will bring Wei Wuxian back shortly. He cannot have gone far."
LQR knows that his elder nephew will search to the ends of the earth, if necessary. He will not allow WWX to abandon Wangji in such a state. Not even if Wangji has made a mistake by attempting to force something that should be given freely, or not at all.
Even so, Wangji must be forgiven. Once he has recovered from the hatching and cleared his mind, Wangji will doubtless make his apology. WWX must accept it.
In the meantime...
LQR takes a very slow, deep breath. He tries to arrange his thoughts.
In the meantime...
LQR takes a very slow, deep breath. He tries to arrange his thoughts.
He doesn't...want to believe that what Wangji has said is true.
But although he can sometimes be a little blinded by his own prejudices, LQR is not a stupid man. He can connect the dots when essential bits of information are laid before him.
But although he can sometimes be a little blinded by his own prejudices, LQR is not a stupid man. He can connect the dots when essential bits of information are laid before him.
And the idea that WWX has lost his golden core makes...an uncomfortable amount of sense.
WWX abandoned the orthodox path so abruptly. He shocked the world by ceasing to carry his sword, which was as good as a limb to any cultivator.
WWX abandoned the orthodox path so abruptly. He shocked the world by ceasing to carry his sword, which was as good as a limb to any cultivator.
He had refused to answer questions about why he turned to demonic cultivation. He had behaved like a man who was concealing something.
...And there had been his prolonged absence during the war, after the fall of Lotus Pier.
...And there had been his prolonged absence during the war, after the fall of Lotus Pier.
There had been those months when both Jiang Wanyin and Wangji had searched fruitlessly, when WWX had apparently vanished into thin air.
LQR knows perfectly well that Wen Zhuliu had played an instrumental role in the attack on Lotus Pier.
LQR knows perfectly well that Wen Zhuliu had played an instrumental role in the attack on Lotus Pier.
He knows the Wens bragged that both Yu Ziyuan and Jiang Fengmian lost their cores before they died.
It would have been...very natural for Wen Zhuliu to turn his hideous talents upon any young disciple who tried to defend his sect, his sect leader, his foster parents.
It would have been...very natural for Wen Zhuliu to turn his hideous talents upon any young disciple who tried to defend his sect, his sect leader, his foster parents.
LQR shuts his eyes. He is silent for a long time, stroking Wangji's back.
"If this is so..." he murmurs.
He pauses and takes another deep breath.
"If it is so...then we will find a way to resolve the problem. The physicians will assist him."
"If this is so..." he murmurs.
He pauses and takes another deep breath.
"If it is so...then we will find a way to resolve the problem. The physicians will assist him."
He hesitates.
"Perhaps...perhaps there is something in the library that may be of use. I will search the records myself. We will find a solution."
It feels cruel to give Wangji false hope. Of course LQR doesn't know any text that holds the secret of restoring a destroyed core.
"Perhaps...perhaps there is something in the library that may be of use. I will search the records myself. We will find a solution."
It feels cruel to give Wangji false hope. Of course LQR doesn't know any text that holds the secret of restoring a destroyed core.
He knows of several texts that discuss methods for strengthening a weak core, or promoting the core's development within a body of a very young disciple.
But he does not know if the damage caused by Wen Zhuliu can be repaired. He fears it's impossible.
But he does not know if the damage caused by Wen Zhuliu can be repaired. He fears it's impossible.
Yet he can't bear Wangji's obvious heartbreak.
And he can hardly throw up his hands and abandon WWX, either. LQR has a duty to aid any disciple who might have suffered such a terrible tragedy during the course of the war.
And he can hardly throw up his hands and abandon WWX, either. LQR has a duty to aid any disciple who might have suffered such a terrible tragedy during the course of the war.
So he will personally review every text in their library. He will travel to other sects and petition for access for their texts, too.
SOMETHING must be done...though LQR hardly knows what they might do in such a situation.
SOMETHING must be done...though LQR hardly knows what they might do in such a situation.
For now, he switches tactics and presses the eggs into Wangji's arms.
"Wangji. Recall our teachings. 'Do not give in to despair.' 'Do not forget your duties in the face of personal hardship.'"
He quotes the rules as gently as he can, folding Wangji's arms around the eggs.
"Wangji. Recall our teachings. 'Do not give in to despair.' 'Do not forget your duties in the face of personal hardship.'"
He quotes the rules as gently as he can, folding Wangji's arms around the eggs.
"Your children depend upon you. Be calm, for their sake. Don't allow this discovery to threaten their safety."
Wangji does not stop crying altogether. But he holds the eggs tightly against his chest, which is better than nothing.
Wangji does not stop crying altogether. But he holds the eggs tightly against his chest, which is better than nothing.
At least this blow hasn't weakened his desire to nurture the children.
Still, LQR signals the physician, who hurries over with a cup of murky tea.
"Drink this." LQR helps tip the mixture down his nephew's throat. "It will help to steady you, so you may care for your children."
Still, LQR signals the physician, who hurries over with a cup of murky tea.
"Drink this." LQR helps tip the mixture down his nephew's throat. "It will help to steady you, so you may care for your children."
Wangji doesn't struggle. He clutches his eggs tight and swallows the tea.
As expected, he's asleep within moments.
LQR waits anxiously as the physician examines his nephew, and gingerly probes the eggs.
At last, the man steps back from the bed.
As expected, he's asleep within moments.
LQR waits anxiously as the physician examines his nephew, and gingerly probes the eggs.
At last, the man steps back from the bed.
"His energy is...unstable." The physician sighs. "But not alarmingly so. His condition should stabilize if he can be kept calm."
The physician nods toward the eggs.
"I believe the children are healthy, and perhaps three weeks from their hatching."
The physician nods toward the eggs.
"I believe the children are healthy, and perhaps three weeks from their hatching."
LQR's heart stutters with relief.
He hastens to cover the eggs and tucks them into a softer spot on the bedding, still within Wangji's reach.
But he studies his nephew's pale, tear-stained face with a sinking feeling in his stomach.
He hastens to cover the eggs and tucks them into a softer spot on the bedding, still within Wangji's reach.
But he studies his nephew's pale, tear-stained face with a sinking feeling in his stomach.
"Is he strong enough to continue like this?" LQR asks anxiously. "Can he continue to support the eggs until the hatching?"
The physician frowns and smooths his sleeves thoughtfully.
"I see nothing to cause undue concern. However, I will continue to monitor him carefully."
The physician frowns and smooths his sleeves thoughtfully.
"I see nothing to cause undue concern. However, I will continue to monitor him carefully."
LQR can ask for nothing more, and he gives a weary nod. But as the physician begins to pack up his supplies, LQR rouses himself.
"We will need your assistance when Wei Wuxian is brought back." LQR clears his throat. "He is...unwell."
"We will need your assistance when Wei Wuxian is brought back." LQR clears his throat. "He is...unwell."
Wangji has hardly spoken above a whisper, and LQR was careful to keep his own voice low. He doesn't think the physician has overheard their conversation.
But the physician is sharp enough to understand the implications of this request.
"Unwell?" he asks. "Or unstable?"
But the physician is sharp enough to understand the implications of this request.
"Unwell?" he asks. "Or unstable?"
LQR sighs again.
"I am not certain."
He is certain of very little, just now. His world has rocked on its axis.
This morning, he was sitting in meditation, trying to reconcile himself to the likelihood of a marriage between his nephew and a known demonic cultivator.
"I am not certain."
He is certain of very little, just now. His world has rocked on its axis.
This morning, he was sitting in meditation, trying to reconcile himself to the likelihood of a marriage between his nephew and a known demonic cultivator.
Now, he has to grapple with the uncomfortable realization that WWX's crimes were, perhaps, less extensive than he thought...or at least, his motivations were far more pitiable than LQR supposed.
"I'll prepare a treatment room," the physician says, "in the event one is needed."
"I'll prepare a treatment room," the physician says, "in the event one is needed."
LQR knows what THAT means. A 'treatment room' would serve as a place where WWX could be contained, if he became violent or uncontrolled.
LQR hopes it will not come to that. But for Wangji's sake, WWX must remain in CR. Even if he succumbs to madness and illness.
LQR hopes it will not come to that. But for Wangji's sake, WWX must remain in CR. Even if he succumbs to madness and illness.
It is an uncomfortably familiar situation: a Lan, so desperately in love that they cannot do without their chosen one. Their partner, trapped and imprisoned in a remote cottage in the hills.
LQR has never wanted such a thing for either of his nephews.
LQR has never wanted such a thing for either of his nephews.
But he doesn't know what the alternative might be.
If WWX does not accept their help peacefully and work towards a recovery...
LQR doesn't care to think of that now. He sits beside Wangji's bed. Then he shuts his eyes, sinking into meditation as he waits for LXC's return.
If WWX does not accept their help peacefully and work towards a recovery...
LQR doesn't care to think of that now. He sits beside Wangji's bed. Then he shuts his eyes, sinking into meditation as he waits for LXC's return.
(Pausing here for now!
While it may not seem like things are getting better, things ARE getting better! Next up: a convo between WQ, WWX, LXC, and LQR.)
While it may not seem like things are getting better, things ARE getting better! Next up: a convo between WQ, WWX, LXC, and LQR.)
(I think there will be four more installments of this, and then we're done. I THINK.
...But can I be trusted to judge how long my fics/threadfics will be?)
...But can I be trusted to judge how long my fics/threadfics will be?)
🐉🥚🥚🥚
Fortunately for everyone involved, it takes LXC a little longer than he expected to find WWX.
By the time LXC spots them, WWX and WQ have made the trek down the mountain. They're on the winding path to the Wen settlement, hidden beneath a canopy of trees.
Fortunately for everyone involved, it takes LXC a little longer than he expected to find WWX.
By the time LXC spots them, WWX and WQ have made the trek down the mountain. They're on the winding path to the Wen settlement, hidden beneath a canopy of trees.
LXC begins his search by circling the skies for a while, checking the various routes out of Cloud Recesses. This interval lasts just long enough that he begins to calm down.
Upon further reflection, it seems impossible that WWX would have abandoned Wangji.
Upon further reflection, it seems impossible that WWX would have abandoned Wangji.
LXC is quite sure he hasn't misread WWX's feelings.
All those wistful, longing glances! All those soft-eyed stares! All that time drawing up protection talismans for Wangji's children!
Surely there has been some kind of misunderstanding here.
All those wistful, longing glances! All those soft-eyed stares! All that time drawing up protection talismans for Wangji's children!
Surely there has been some kind of misunderstanding here.
Perhaps WWX only wanted to make a quick visit to the Wens? Perhaps Wangji was sleeping, and WWX left a note for him. Perhaps Wangji failed to spot the note, and he panicked.
There must be SOME sensible explanation for all this.
There must be SOME sensible explanation for all this.
LXC feels a sharp burst of outrage, remembering Wangji's tears. But if it's only a misunderstanding or miscommunication, everything can be cleared up.
Wangji will calm down once he hears WWX's explanation. WWX will surely apologize once he knows how upset Wangji became.
Wangji will calm down once he hears WWX's explanation. WWX will surely apologize once he knows how upset Wangji became.
They just need to get WWX back to CR. Then all will be well.
After scanning the eastern road, LXC doubles back to check the path to the Wen settlement again. And this time, he spots WQ and WWX walking together, A-Yuan slung on WQ's hip.
LXC lets out his breath in a rush.
After scanning the eastern road, LXC doubles back to check the path to the Wen settlement again. And this time, he spots WQ and WWX walking together, A-Yuan slung on WQ's hip.
LXC lets out his breath in a rush.
Of course.
Of course, WWX only left to visit the Wens! He must have decided to walk WQ and A-Yuan back, to make sure they returned to the settlement safely.
How could LXC have thought differently? How could Wangji have assumed that he'd been cruelly jilted?
Of course, WWX only left to visit the Wens! He must have decided to walk WQ and A-Yuan back, to make sure they returned to the settlement safely.
How could LXC have thought differently? How could Wangji have assumed that he'd been cruelly jilted?
LXC heaves a sigh and dips lower, moving to join the trio on the road.
Wangji's reaction is excusable: he's exhausted and overwrought, preoccupied with tending his children. It's no wonder he became frantic over WWX's sudden departure.
Wangji's reaction is excusable: he's exhausted and overwrought, preoccupied with tending his children. It's no wonder he became frantic over WWX's sudden departure.
But LXC should have known better. Silently, he scolds himself for his impulsive reaction. He should not have become angry before he knew the details of the situation. He knows better than that.
He will have assign himself some sort of punishment once he returns home.
He will have assign himself some sort of punishment once he returns home.
He'll copy some of the texts covering prudence and measured conduct, or he'll perform an extra session of meditation. Once everything is sorted out and Wangji has calmed down, LXC will make his own amends.
WWX and WQ spot him as he swoops in, landing lightly some distance away.
WWX and WQ spot him as he swoops in, landing lightly some distance away.
LXC expects to be greeted with a smile. Failing that, he expects them to respond with puzzlement. He expects to be asked why Sect Leader Lan has taken the trouble to join them on an afternoon visit to WQ's family.
Instead, every muscle in WWX's body tenses up.
Instead, every muscle in WWX's body tenses up.
He goes rigid, like a wild deer that spotted a hunter.
WQ's hand grips his shoulder, almost holding him in place.
WWX is very pale, his eyes red-rimmed. He doesn't look like a man who's making a pleasant visit to drink tea with his friends. He looks like a man on the run.
WQ's hand grips his shoulder, almost holding him in place.
WWX is very pale, his eyes red-rimmed. He doesn't look like a man who's making a pleasant visit to drink tea with his friends. He looks like a man on the run.
LXC feels his smile stiffen. He sheaths his sword, but keep his fingers around the hilt.
"Master Wei. Lady Wen." He gives them both a polite nod, then turns to WQ. "Are you returning to your family for the night?"
Her lips are pressed together tightly, but she returns his nod.
"Master Wei. Lady Wen." He gives them both a polite nod, then turns to WQ. "Are you returning to your family for the night?"
Her lips are pressed together tightly, but she returns his nod.
"Sect Leader. Yes, I'm going home."
A-Yuan is asleep on her shoulder. She shifts him pointedly, as if emphasizing the reason for her early return.
LXC softens a little, watching A-Yuan drool on her robes. He hopes to avoid any arguments here, while the child is present.
A-Yuan is asleep on her shoulder. She shifts him pointedly, as if emphasizing the reason for her early return.
LXC softens a little, watching A-Yuan drool on her robes. He hopes to avoid any arguments here, while the child is present.
He hopes to avoid arguments entirely.
But WWX's pale face and hunted expression are not encouraging. He tries to shift back, away from the road. WQ keep a tight grip on his arm.
"I see," LXC says.
He fixes WWX with a long, intent stare.
But WWX's pale face and hunted expression are not encouraging. He tries to shift back, away from the road. WQ keep a tight grip on his arm.
"I see," LXC says.
He fixes WWX with a long, intent stare.
"And of course, Master Wei will be returning to Cloud Recesses after a short visit to the Wens?"
He places a none-too-subtle emphasis on the word 'short'.
WWX flinches. He avoids LXC's eyes and says nothing.
He places a none-too-subtle emphasis on the word 'short'.
WWX flinches. He avoids LXC's eyes and says nothing.
The rage in LXC's chest almost extinguished itself as he circled the skies. But as WWX stares off into nothingness, stubbornly and impolitely silent, the embers start to kindle again.
WQ's grasp on her friend's arm tightens visibly.
"Yes," she says. "He will."
WQ's grasp on her friend's arm tightens visibly.
"Yes," she says. "He will."
WWX flinches again and casts a betrayed look at WQ.
But she doesn't even glance his way. She merely lifts her chin, meeting LXC's eyes directly.
He holds her gaze for a moment, then nods in return.
"I'm glad to hear it. Wangji seemed quite upset."
But she doesn't even glance his way. She merely lifts her chin, meeting LXC's eyes directly.
He holds her gaze for a moment, then nods in return.
"I'm glad to hear it. Wangji seemed quite upset."
He can't help the sharp, needle-like edge to his own voice.
"He seemed to think you'd left with no intention of returning. Of course, he was mistaken."
LXC means to be slightly sarcastic. But the longer he stares at WWX, the more confused he feels.
"He seemed to think you'd left with no intention of returning. Of course, he was mistaken."
LXC means to be slightly sarcastic. But the longer he stares at WWX, the more confused he feels.
He hadn't expected WWX to attempt to leave CR. And if he DID choose to leave, LXC expected him to make only a short visit to the Wens.
He had never expected WWX to run away while their backs were turned.
But if he is running...why is he running in this direction?
He had never expected WWX to run away while their backs were turned.
But if he is running...why is he running in this direction?
For that matter, why is he running in this condition?
WWX doesn't carry a bad or any type of luggage. He still lacks his his sword. There is his infamous flute, tucked into his belt. But LXC is sure WWX doesn't have any money, or anything he can use to purchase supplies.
WWX doesn't carry a bad or any type of luggage. He still lacks his his sword. There is his infamous flute, tucked into his belt. But LXC is sure WWX doesn't have any money, or anything he can use to purchase supplies.
Perhaps he expected the Wens to help him escape. But it seems very foolish to flee in broad daylight, in full view of Wangji and the guards. It seems foolish to go directly to the Wens: the first place LXC thought to look.
And why should he run, anyway?
And why should he run, anyway?
LXC is very partial to his brother. It isn't rooted in arrogance, or self-important esteem for his brother's high position.
He simply doesn't understand how anyone could possibly choose to reject Wangji's affections.
He simply doesn't understand how anyone could possibly choose to reject Wangji's affections.
The fact that his brother is Hanguang-Jun, the Second Jade of Lan, has nothing to do with it.
That would be enough to entice most suitors, of course. But Wangji has so much more to offer than that. His hand would be a very valuable prize, even disregarding money and status.
That would be enough to entice most suitors, of course. But Wangji has so much more to offer than that. His hand would be a very valuable prize, even disregarding money and status.
LXC thought WWX understood that. He thought WWX valued Wangji, and valued him for the right reasons. He thought WWX understood what an honor it was, to be chosen by someone as wonderful as Wangji.
He thought WWX would be honored and delighted by a proposal.
He thought WWX would be honored and delighted by a proposal.
He thought WWX would be only too pleased to accept.
He can't understand how WWX, or anyone else for that matter, could have rejected his brother. But he also can't think of any other reason for WWX to run.
Perhaps WWX found the idea of sudden parenthood off-putting.
He can't understand how WWX, or anyone else for that matter, could have rejected his brother. But he also can't think of any other reason for WWX to run.
Perhaps WWX found the idea of sudden parenthood off-putting.
But if the children were the problem, surely WWX would have found an excuse to leave long ago. Surely he would have distanced himself?
He wouldn't have spent so much time tending the eggs. He wouldn't have helped Wangji plan the children's names and the first-month party.
He wouldn't have spent so much time tending the eggs. He wouldn't have helped Wangji plan the children's names and the first-month party.
No. Wangji must have made a marriage offer, and WWX must have refused. But LXC can't understand why.
The longer the silence stretches out, the more angry and bewildered he feels.
WQ takes a deep breath. She starts to say something. Then she stops. She pauses, and tries again.
The longer the silence stretches out, the more angry and bewildered he feels.
WQ takes a deep breath. She starts to say something. Then she stops. She pauses, and tries again.
"Sect Leader. Will you walk with us? I need to put this one to bed."
She hitches A-Yuan higher on her hip. He smacks his lips in his sleep.
"Then we'll come back up the mountain with you. I think there's something we need to explain."
LXC replies with a civil bow.
She hitches A-Yuan higher on her hip. He smacks his lips in his sleep.
"Then we'll come back up the mountain with you. I think there's something we need to explain."
LXC replies with a civil bow.
"Lady Wen is very sensible. I think that's an excellent plan."
WWX's face grows more hunted than ever, and he still looks like he wants to bolt. But WQ gives him a look absolutely FRAUGHT with meaning, and he wilts.
WWX's face grows more hunted than ever, and he still looks like he wants to bolt. But WQ gives him a look absolutely FRAUGHT with meaning, and he wilts.
She keeps an eye on WWX as they finish the trek toward the settlement.
So does LXC. He doesn't think WWX could get far on foot. LXC could easily outdistance him by sword. But WWX is clever. If he's determined to flee, it's possible that he might come up with some sort of trick.
So does LXC. He doesn't think WWX could get far on foot. LXC could easily outdistance him by sword. But WWX is clever. If he's determined to flee, it's possible that he might come up with some sort of trick.
But he seems to know when he's beaten...this time, at least. He shuffles along, avoiding both WQ and LXC's sideways glances.
They're not far from the settlement. But it's a very long, and uncomfortably silent, walk.
They're not far from the settlement. But it's a very long, and uncomfortably silent, walk.
When they arrive, WQ passes A-Yuan over to her grandmother. She allows LXC to greet the rest of the Wens, and give the impression that he's merely checking up on their progress.
He's satisfied with what he sees.
He's satisfied with what he sees.
It's too early to start planting, but the Wens are doing their best to prepare for the growing season. The Lans arranged for supplies from Caiyi Town: seeds and plows, and everything the Wens will need in the meantime.
The Wens have fitted up their small homes neatly.
The Wens have fitted up their small homes neatly.
The chickens and pigs have been delivered. Half the Wens are busy building or expanding their pens.
They bow to LXC, and he gives them the kindest smile he can manage. But he senses that his smile is a little tense, given the strangeness of the situation and his own confusion.
They bow to LXC, and he gives them the kindest smile he can manage. But he senses that his smile is a little tense, given the strangeness of the situation and his own confusion.
Wen Qionglin lingers in the background. He doesn't approach to offer his greetings, but LXC doesn't forget to give him a polite nod too.
He still feels an unpleasant shuddering whenever he looks at the poor young man. But he cannot find it within his heart to renounce the boy.
He still feels an unpleasant shuddering whenever he looks at the poor young man. But he cannot find it within his heart to renounce the boy.
Nor can he blame WWX for raising him from the dead. It's a blasphemy, yes.
But...well.
He and WQ already talked that over, once the Lans agreed to resettle the surviving Wens on their own territory.
But...well.
He and WQ already talked that over, once the Lans agreed to resettle the surviving Wens on their own territory.
The elders made no objection to helping children and the elderly. They were equally satisfied with LXC's personal assurance that the other Wens were merely physicians and farmers with very little cultivation ability.
But Wen Qionglin had been something of a sticking point.
But Wen Qionglin had been something of a sticking point.
Most of the elders felt that his continued existence, such as it was, was unnatural and repulsive. They felt that he ought to be laid to rest. WWX must be compelled to withdraw whatever power he had used to restore Wen Qionglin's consciousness, so he could be properly buried.
Some of the elders felt this ought to be a condition of the Wen's resettlement. They argued that no amnesty should be offered to anyone who harbored a fierce corpse in their midst.
LXC had tentatively shared these views with WQ as they hammered out the terms of their amnesty.
LXC had tentatively shared these views with WQ as they hammered out the terms of their amnesty.
WQ had stared at him with blazing eyes.
"Zewu-Jun." Each word was sharp-edged, bitten off. "Our parents are dead. He's the only immediate family I have left. And he is my younger brother. Would you ask me to bury him? To continue living in this world without him?"
"Zewu-Jun." Each word was sharp-edged, bitten off. "Our parents are dead. He's the only immediate family I have left. And he is my younger brother. Would you ask me to bury him? To continue living in this world without him?"
LXC had been speechless for several moments.
WQ let him think on her words for a while. Then she continued, her body rigid with tension
"If we can't stay here and keep A-Ning with us, then we'll go. But I won't sacrifice him for our safety."
WQ let him think on her words for a while. Then she continued, her body rigid with tension
"If we can't stay here and keep A-Ning with us, then we'll go. But I won't sacrifice him for our safety."
There was really nothing LXC could say to that.
He couldn't find it in his heart to ask any elder brother or sister to give up on their younger sibling. He couldn't ask her to cheerfully agree to return her brother to a decaying corpse, and bury him with due ceremony.
He couldn't find it in his heart to ask any elder brother or sister to give up on their younger sibling. He couldn't ask her to cheerfully agree to return her brother to a decaying corpse, and bury him with due ceremony.
He couldn't ask her to choose between her younger brother and the rest of her family. It was too cruel.
Besides, LXC understood her dilemma too well. If she was desperate to save her younger brother, by any means necessary...
LXC could understand that impulse well enough.
Besides, LXC understood her dilemma too well. If she was desperate to save her younger brother, by any means necessary...
LXC could understand that impulse well enough.
So he had gone to the elders, and he had persuaded and cajoled. He offered to accept personal responsibility for Wen Qionglin's actions. He had agreed that if the boy attacked any innocent person, he would be dealt with accordingly.
But until that day came, LXC extracted the promise that Wen Qionglin would be allowed to live without persecution.
He had reminded the elders that the boy was under the guardianship of his own family. They would look after him, and keep him under constant supervision.
He had reminded the elders that the boy was under the guardianship of his own family. They would look after him, and keep him under constant supervision.
Then LXC had scurried back and forth, extracting promises from WWX that he would raise no more fierce corpses.
The promise was given rather reluctantly, and LXC sensed that it might be retracted if WWX felt truly threatened by the other sects. But the promise WAS given.
The promise was given rather reluctantly, and LXC sensed that it might be retracted if WWX felt truly threatened by the other sects. But the promise WAS given.
The elders had been satisfied, reluctantly satisfied, with this detente.
Wen Qionglin hovers some distance away, ghoulishly pale but still wide-eyed and nervous. When LXC inclines his head, the boy drops into a respectful bow.
Wen Qionglin hovers some distance away, ghoulishly pale but still wide-eyed and nervous. When LXC inclines his head, the boy drops into a respectful bow.
Then he scurries away to help one of his uncles carry a load of heavy lumber.
After a brief conversation with her grandmother, WQ disappears into one of the small cottages. She returns with a bag.
"I told my family not to expect me back tonight," she explains.
After a brief conversation with her grandmother, WQ disappears into one of the small cottages. She returns with a bag.
"I told my family not to expect me back tonight," she explains.
She slings the bag over her shoulder and marches off down the road.
"I think this conversation might take some time."
LXC doesn't like the sound of that. But he approves of the way WQ herds WWX along, like a recalcitrant donkey.
"I think this conversation might take some time."
LXC doesn't like the sound of that. But he approves of the way WQ herds WWX along, like a recalcitrant donkey.
Her hands are gentle enough as she prods him along. But she's clearly made up her mind: the three of them must have a long conversation to explain WWX's recent conduct.
It is long overdue. LXC knows that.
It is long overdue. LXC knows that.
He's been reluctant to demand explanations, given Wangji's delicate situation. Anything that might jeopardize the safety of his eggs was to be avoided at all costs.
But WWX must account for everything he's done over the past year.
But WWX must account for everything he's done over the past year.
WWX must explain why he thought any of this (raising corpses! using resentful energy! fleeing from Wangji and refusing his repeated offers of help!) was a good idea.
But as they walk, LXC grows more concerned.
But as they walk, LXC grows more concerned.
He thought WWX's pallor was the result of being caught in an attempted escape.
But WWX grows paler and paler as they walk. His steps lag.
It isn't a very long trip. LXC was careful to place the settlement close to CR. It would be best for the Lans to keep an eye on the Wens.
But WWX grows paler and paler as they walk. His steps lag.
It isn't a very long trip. LXC was careful to place the settlement close to CR. It would be best for the Lans to keep an eye on the Wens.
The Wens should be near enough that any attack could not go unnoticed. LXC had worried that the other sects might try to harass the Wens, if they were too far from the Lan's protection.
So the settlement was placed barely ten li from the gates of CR.
So the settlement was placed barely ten li from the gates of CR.
The walk was nothing for a trained cultivator. It shouldn't cause the slightest fatigue. The distance was merely a leisurely stroll, covered in less than half a shi.
But before they're halfway to their destination, WWX is sweaty and surprisingly out of breath.
But before they're halfway to their destination, WWX is sweaty and surprisingly out of breath.
LXC casts a look of surprise and mild alarm in WQ's direction.
Her mouth tightens, but she doesn't say anything. She only slows her pace a little, and LXC does the same.
He spends the rest of the trip wondering if perhaps WWX is hiding some severe illness.
Her mouth tightens, but she doesn't say anything. She only slows her pace a little, and LXC does the same.
He spends the rest of the trip wondering if perhaps WWX is hiding some severe illness.
Perhaps that was why he refused Wangji's proposal? Perhaps he knew he had some terrible ailment that would shorten his lifespan?
LXC has spent years watching A-Jue stubbornly refuse to marry, on the grounds that he may not live long enough to properly care for a spouse.
LXC has spent years watching A-Jue stubbornly refuse to marry, on the grounds that he may not live long enough to properly care for a spouse.
This sort of misguided chivalry was hardly unfamiliar to LXC.
But whatever afflicted WWX couldn't be very similar to the curse of the Nie bloodline. And if the use of resentful energy was taking a toll on his health, surely he could simply stop using it?
But whatever afflicted WWX couldn't be very similar to the curse of the Nie bloodline. And if the use of resentful energy was taking a toll on his health, surely he could simply stop using it?
There was no need for him to push Wangji away so he could hurry himself into a early grave. Not when he could step back from his current methods and resume the orthodox path.
LXC stews on that for quite some time, but he can't decide what to think.
LXC stews on that for quite some time, but he can't decide what to think.
Anger crowds back in when he remembers how distraught Wangji had been. But confusion softens his anger, and LXC returns to trying to think up explanations and excuses for WWX.
He hasn't come up with anything by the time they pass through the gates and approach the Jingshi.
He hasn't come up with anything by the time they pass through the gates and approach the Jingshi.
Every disciple stares openly as they walk by.
LXC groans inwardly. He's given up on trying to keep matters quiet within CR. He can only hope that nothing leaks out to the other sects.
If Wangji insists on producing three eggs and WWX insists on running off...
LXC groans inwardly. He's given up on trying to keep matters quiet within CR. He can only hope that nothing leaks out to the other sects.
If Wangji insists on producing three eggs and WWX insists on running off...
And if Wangji insists on standing naked in the courtyard to call after him...!
Well. The Lan disciples are bound to talk.
LXC gives the most slack-jawed disciples a pointed look, and they quickly return to their chores.
Well. The Lan disciples are bound to talk.
LXC gives the most slack-jawed disciples a pointed look, and they quickly return to their chores.
There is no sense in playing coy. Not when the events of the last few weeks have doubtless been discussed throughout CR.
So LXC ignores the eyes on his back, and leads their small party directly into the Jingshi.
Uncle sits at a small table.
So LXC ignores the eyes on his back, and leads their small party directly into the Jingshi.
Uncle sits at a small table.
A steaming cup of tea rests beside him, but he doesn't appear to have touched it. His eyes are closed, as if in meditation.
He opens his eyes when they enter.
His gaze falls rather heavily upon WWX, but he doesn't look nearly as angry as LXC might have expected.
He opens his eyes when they enter.
His gaze falls rather heavily upon WWX, but he doesn't look nearly as angry as LXC might have expected.
In fact, he doesn't look angry at all.
He merely looks...tired. As tired as LXC has ever seen him, and almost sad.
For a moment, LXC's heart leaps into his throat. He can think of only one thing that might cause Uncle to set aside his anger at WWX in favor of weary sorrow.
He merely looks...tired. As tired as LXC has ever seen him, and almost sad.
For a moment, LXC's heart leaps into his throat. He can think of only one thing that might cause Uncle to set aside his anger at WWX in favor of weary sorrow.
LXC swings around to stare at the bed, hidden behind the silk curtains. Surely nothing has happened to the eggs in their absence...?
Uncle follows his gaze. But when LXC turns back to him, Uncle shakes his head.
"Wangji is asleep," he says.
Uncle follows his gaze. But when LXC turns back to him, Uncle shakes his head.
"Wangji is asleep," he says.
He rises to his feet slowly, as if he's very weary indeed.
"The physician has tended to him. He is not in any danger. The eggs are healthy."
LXC sags. He's so relieved he can hardly breathe. WQ, too, looks rather more relieved than he might had expected.
"The physician has tended to him. He is not in any danger. The eggs are healthy."
LXC sags. He's so relieved he can hardly breathe. WQ, too, looks rather more relieved than he might had expected.
Meanwhile, WWX looks more exhausted than Uncle. He's still pale and clammy, his hands trembling as they flex at his side. His eyes dart around the room, as if seeking an escape.
His gaze does linger on the bed, though. It's full of grief and miserable, wistful longing.
His gaze does linger on the bed, though. It's full of grief and miserable, wistful longing.
For an instant, LXC is tempted to do something very unbecoming of a sect leader. He's tempted to reach out and shake WWX by the shoulders until his teeth rattle in his skull.
He wants to ask: Why do you look at my brother in such a way if you only mean to run away from him?
He wants to ask: Why do you look at my brother in such a way if you only mean to run away from him?
Why do you stare at him as if he's the sun and moon and stars, and then turn around and reject his proposal?
But LXC doesn't have the chance to embarrass himself, and that's for the best. Uncle hustles their group out of the Jingshi, and leads them to his private study.
But LXC doesn't have the chance to embarrass himself, and that's for the best. Uncle hustles their group out of the Jingshi, and leads them to his private study.
Once inside, he seals the room entirely, securing the door and setting soundproofing talismans.
LXC wonders if Uncle's weary calm will finally crack. Perhaps he'll finally rail at WWX and lay bare all his grievances against the so-called Yuling Patriarch.
LXC wonders if Uncle's weary calm will finally crack. Perhaps he'll finally rail at WWX and lay bare all his grievances against the so-called Yuling Patriarch.
It seems to be the most sensible explanation for this relocation. Even in his outrage, Uncle would not wish to disturb Wangji and the children.
But once the room is secure, Uncle merely sits behind his desk. He leaves the others to seat themselves in an awkward group.
But once the room is secure, Uncle merely sits behind his desk. He leaves the others to seat themselves in an awkward group.
WWX doesn't seem to want to sit. His body grows tense as he watches Uncle seal the room, and his expression grows fixed. His fingers twitch toward his flute, and LXC does not like that.
But WQ takes hold of his sleeve and yanks him down.
But WQ takes hold of his sleeve and yanks him down.
She makes him sit beside her, carefully positioning herself between WWX and the door.
She has also positioned herself between WWX and the others. LXC notices that.
He takes his own seat and focuses his attention on WWX.
She has also positioned herself between WWX and the others. LXC notices that.
He takes his own seat and focuses his attention on WWX.
"We are very interested to hear the reason behind Master Wei's hasty departure."
LXC folds his hands in his lap and tries to keep his voice neutral, as befitting a sect leader.
"He did not ask to leave. He made no formal farewell to his hosts."
LXC folds his hands in his lap and tries to keep his voice neutral, as befitting a sect leader.
"He did not ask to leave. He made no formal farewell to his hosts."
He tries to sound detached. He does. But a hint of sharpness creeps in, despite his best efforts.
"He left my brother distressed and unwell. By causing such distress, he may have jeopardized the safety of my nieces and nephews. I would request an explanation for such conduct."
"He left my brother distressed and unwell. By causing such distress, he may have jeopardized the safety of my nieces and nephews. I would request an explanation for such conduct."
WWX's lips are bloodless, pressed into a very thin line. He stares fixedly at Uncle's desk and says nothing.
WQ nudges his arm gently, and sends him a few beseeching looks. But he doesn't speak.
After a short, painful pause, Uncle lets out a long sigh.
WQ nudges his arm gently, and sends him a few beseeching looks. But he doesn't speak.
After a short, painful pause, Uncle lets out a long sigh.
"I have an explanation," he says.
WQ's head snaps up. But WWX doesn't so much as twitch. He might as well be carved from stone.
LXC stares between the three of them, suddenly caught off balance.
"Uncle?" he ventures.
WQ's head snaps up. But WWX doesn't so much as twitch. He might as well be carved from stone.
LXC stares between the three of them, suddenly caught off balance.
"Uncle?" he ventures.
He had intended to force WWX to account for his own behavior. But as much as he wants an apology from WWX, he wants to know the truth even more. If Uncle can explain things, LXC is willing enough to listen.
So he turns his attention to Uncle, who passes a hand over his face.
So he turns his attention to Uncle, who passes a hand over his face.
"It would appear..." he begins.
Then he falls silent for moment. Like WWX, he busies himself with staring at the desktop.
"I do not know the particulars. But it would appear that Wei Wuxian no longer possesses a golden core."
Then he falls silent for moment. Like WWX, he busies himself with staring at the desktop.
"I do not know the particulars. But it would appear that Wei Wuxian no longer possesses a golden core."
WQ flinches a little. But she doesn't object, and neither does WWX. The room is entirely silent...so silent that LXC can hear the blood rushing in his own ears.
"How?" he blurts out. "When?"
They're very foolish questions. Later, LXC will be embarrassed that he asked them.
"How?" he blurts out. "When?"
They're very foolish questions. Later, LXC will be embarrassed that he asked them.
These simple words - Wei Wuxian no longer possesses a golden core - should have been a sufficient explanation.
They explained everything. LXC should have been able to fill in the gaps himself.
But he can't take it in. It's too cruel, too terrible.
They explained everything. LXC should have been able to fill in the gaps himself.
But he can't take it in. It's too cruel, too terrible.
The first wave of grief is for Wangji.
How unfair it is, that he fixed his heart on someone who can no longer cultivate! How unfair for the children...the children Wangji hoped WWX would help nurture!
But as the words sink in, LXC feels sick for WWX.
How unfair it is, that he fixed his heart on someone who can no longer cultivate! How unfair for the children...the children Wangji hoped WWX would help nurture!
But as the words sink in, LXC feels sick for WWX.
WWX had always been remarkably talented.
LXC had taken an interest in him from his first day in CR...mainly because he hoped that WWX would prove to be someone who could match Wangji's skill and raw power. He was a rare talent.
LXC had taken an interest in him from his first day in CR...mainly because he hoped that WWX would prove to be someone who could match Wangji's skill and raw power. He was a rare talent.
Like Wangji, WWX possessed the kind of abilities that came along only a few times in each generation.
To have lost all of that...LXC cannot imagine it. His own golden core pulses within his body, giving health and vitality and a near-limitless lifespan. To have it taken away...
To have lost all of that...LXC cannot imagine it. His own golden core pulses within his body, giving health and vitality and a near-limitless lifespan. To have it taken away...
LXC can't imagine such a loss. He swallows down bile.
"It happened several months ago," WQ says quietly. "During the war."
LQR studies her intently.
"You were aware of this, then?"
"It happened several months ago," WQ says quietly. "During the war."
LQR studies her intently.
"You were aware of this, then?"
He doesn't sound as surprised as LXC might have expected.
But then, why should he? This, too, makes sense. WWX considered her a friend. She was a skilled physician. Who else should he turn to after such a catastrophic injury?
WQ bows her head.
"I was. My brother and I..."
But then, why should he? This, too, makes sense. WWX considered her a friend. She was a skilled physician. Who else should he turn to after such a catastrophic injury?
WQ bows her head.
"I was. My brother and I..."
She hesitates for a moment.
For the first time, WWX lifts his eyes from the desk and meets hers. There's an expression on his face LXC can't interpret.
"We..cared for him," WQ finishes delicately. "Afterward."
Afterward. LXC wonders at that word.
For the first time, WWX lifts his eyes from the desk and meets hers. There's an expression on his face LXC can't interpret.
"We..cared for him," WQ finishes delicately. "Afterward."
Afterward. LXC wonders at that word.
Already, his mind is working feverishly.
It must have happened during the fall of Lotus Pier, or perhaps shortly thereafter. There was a period where WWX was missing and presumed to be dead. He must have been in hiding, trying to recover from his injuries.
It must have happened during the fall of Lotus Pier, or perhaps shortly thereafter. There was a period where WWX was missing and presumed to be dead. He must have been in hiding, trying to recover from his injuries.
Perhaps WQ smuggled him away from her family. Perhaps they had captured him, tortured him, snuffed out his golden core. Perhaps WQ had been drafted into helping keep WWX alive, so that Wen Ruohan's sons could torment him further.
It's a hideous picture. LXC shuts his eyes.
It's a hideous picture. LXC shuts his eyes.
Until this very moment, he had hoped that WWX's wartime disappearance had been something like his own.
He hoped that WWX had also taken refuge in a brothel, or some other place he did not like to boast of.
He hoped that WWX had also taken refuge in a brothel, or some other place he did not like to boast of.
He hoped that WWX had spent his time gathering his forces and looking for a weakness in Wen Ruohan's armies.
LXC never dreamed his disappearance had been anything like this. But now, he feels hopelessly naive.
LXC never dreamed his disappearance had been anything like this. But now, he feels hopelessly naive.
People who went missing during wartime were seldom tucked away in some safe location, as LXC had been.
LXC had been fortunate, absurdly so, to have stumbled across A-Yao. It would be ridiculous to expect such good luck to strike twice.
LXC had been fortunate, absurdly so, to have stumbled across A-Yao. It would be ridiculous to expect such good luck to strike twice.
LXC feels a stab of shame, as if he stole WWX's portion of good luck and hoarded it all for himself.
It's a nonsensical idea, but the situation is so unfair. It's all so terribly and hideously unfair.
Uncle sighs again.
"I see," he says.
It's a nonsensical idea, but the situation is so unfair. It's all so terribly and hideously unfair.
Uncle sighs again.
"I see," he says.
He asks no further questions.
WQ's body loses a little tension. Perhaps she feared she would be held responsible yet again for Wen Ruohan's depravities. But if she did what she could to help WWX, LXC can't hardly blame her.
Yet perhaps there is someone else partly to blame.
WQ's body loses a little tension. Perhaps she feared she would be held responsible yet again for Wen Ruohan's depravities. But if she did what she could to help WWX, LXC can't hardly blame her.
Yet perhaps there is someone else partly to blame.
LXC straightens abruptly.
"Do the Jiangs..." He draws a quick breath. "Sect Leader Jiang permitted you to leave Lotus Pier on such terms? In this condition?"
That seems cruel and terribly thoughtless.
"Do the Jiangs..." He draws a quick breath. "Sect Leader Jiang permitted you to leave Lotus Pier on such terms? In this condition?"
That seems cruel and terribly thoughtless.
WWX put Jiang Wanyin in a difficult position by siding publicly with the Wens. LXC understands that.
But to cast WWX out, knowing that he no longer had the means to defend himself as a cultivator should...
They were only martial brothers, not brothers by blood.
But to cast WWX out, knowing that he no longer had the means to defend himself as a cultivator should...
They were only martial brothers, not brothers by blood.
But LXC could never do such a thing to Wangji, to A-Jue, to A-Yao. He cannot imagine abandoning any brother in such a way, during the most desperate hours of their life.
WWX goes very rigid, very tense. His face loses what little color it possess.
WWX goes very rigid, very tense. His face loses what little color it possess.
"They don't know," he rasps. "They WON'T know."
Then he lapses into deathlike silence again.
His words bring no comfort. LXC's heart feels heavier than ever.
If Sect Leader Jiang and Young Madam Jin don't know the truth, they must be as confused as anyone.
Then he lapses into deathlike silence again.
His words bring no comfort. LXC's heart feels heavier than ever.
If Sect Leader Jiang and Young Madam Jin don't know the truth, they must be as confused as anyone.
They must be wondering why WWX has acted so strangely, setting himself against the cultivation world at every turn.
WWX has truly driven away everyone who seems to care for him...and LXC realizes now that it must have been deliberate: an act of self-destruction.
WWX has truly driven away everyone who seems to care for him...and LXC realizes now that it must have been deliberate: an act of self-destruction.
Or perhaps he thought it was the noble thing to do. Perhaps he thought he was no use to anyone now, and the people who cared for him would be better off without him.
But LXC is quite sure Wangji wouldn't agree with that argument.
But LXC is quite sure Wangji wouldn't agree with that argument.
And while he doesn't know the Jiangs very well, he doesn't think they would thank WWX for this sacrifice, either.
Uncle passes a hand over his face again.
"You should have told us at once," he says heavily.
Uncle passes a hand over his face again.
"You should have told us at once," he says heavily.
"Many cultivators have suffered damage to their cores and sought treatments in these halls. Our physicians specialize in such things."
It was true, of course. The Lans were known for their use of medicine and musical cultivation to heal both body and spirit.
It was true, of course. The Lans were known for their use of medicine and musical cultivation to heal both body and spirit.
It was in their library that LXC had found what he needed to help A-Jue.
"You should have come to us as soon as the war ended," LQR finishes. "We were rebuilding and short on resources, but we would not have turned away any man or woman in your position."
"You should have come to us as soon as the war ended," LQR finishes. "We were rebuilding and short on resources, but we would not have turned away any man or woman in your position."
That is true, too. LXC is sure of it.
Uncle had never liked WWX. The elders had never approved of him. But if they had known that he lost his core to Wen Ruohan's wickedness, they would not have been so cruel as to abandon him.
Uncle had never liked WWX. The elders had never approved of him. But if they had known that he lost his core to Wen Ruohan's wickedness, they would not have been so cruel as to abandon him.
He would have been admitted into CR for healing and rest. Their sect would have pitied him, and sought to keep his misfortunes private.
"You should not have turned to demonic cultivation," LQR adds.
He doesn't sound nearly as harsh as he might.
"You should not have turned to demonic cultivation," LQR adds.
He doesn't sound nearly as harsh as he might.
His voice is pensive, rather than scolding.
But WWX's face is blank and shuttered. WQ shifts restively in her seat, and LXC feels called upon to offer some sort of defense.
"But I suppose..." he ventures softly, "that now we can understand how one might resort to such things?"
But WWX's face is blank and shuttered. WQ shifts restively in her seat, and LXC feels called upon to offer some sort of defense.
"But I suppose..." he ventures softly, "that now we can understand how one might resort to such things?"
He gives his uncle a meaningful, hopeful glance.
It isn't right, what WWX has done. It violates many of their sect's disciplines.
But the disciplines were written for cultivators who possessed a golden core. No one had written any manuals for what to do in WWX's position.
It isn't right, what WWX has done. It violates many of their sect's disciplines.
But the disciplines were written for cultivators who possessed a golden core. No one had written any manuals for what to do in WWX's position.
The guest lectures at CR hardly covered such topics. If WWX had made perilous choices in such unprecedented circumstances, he must be forgiven. For Wangji's sake, if nothing else.
LXC knows very well that it's far too late for Wangji to recover his heart.
LXC knows very well that it's far too late for Wangji to recover his heart.
He's already given that away.
If WWX can be persuaded to accept...
If they can only convince him not to refuse Wangji for the sake of honor, and chivalry, and the desire to see Wangji married to someone still in possession of their golden core...
If WWX can be persuaded to accept...
If they can only convince him not to refuse Wangji for the sake of honor, and chivalry, and the desire to see Wangji married to someone still in possession of their golden core...
Then they MUST overlook WWX's offenses or mistakes. They must try to help him.
LQR is quiet for a very long time. LXC hardly dares to breathe. WWX is as rigid as a statue, as white as the Lan sect's robes.
LQR is quiet for a very long time. LXC hardly dares to breathe. WWX is as rigid as a statue, as white as the Lan sect's robes.
"To turn away from the orthodox path," LQR begins, "because one can no longer cultivate using the established methods...this may seem like the only choice left. But it is not wise."
He fixes his attention on WWX, studying him with great focus. His voice is surprisingly gentle.
He fixes his attention on WWX, studying him with great focus. His voice is surprisingly gentle.
"If you continue to follow such a path, you will surely perish at a young age. Others close to you...even those you care for most...they may perish as well, if you lose control of yourself."
He sighs and turns to stare out the window.
He sighs and turns to stare out the window.
"You are very gifted, Wei Wuxian. Do not deceive yourself into thinking this is the proper use of your gifts."
Uncle rises and begins moving restlessly around the room.
"Even if you no longer possess a golden core, you are still intelligent and well-read."
Uncle rises and begins moving restlessly around the room.
"Even if you no longer possess a golden core, you are still intelligent and well-read."
"You have had the sort of education befitting a disciple of a Great Sect. You are adept at creating talismans, and familiar with many cultivation techniques. You may use these gifts without resorting to practices that corrupt your mind and body, and thus shorten your lifespan."
For a moment, LXC's heart unclenches.
His heart still feels bruised, aching with pity for WWX and Wangji. But there is some hope.
If Uncle is inclined to take that view of things, the situation may be salvageable.
His heart still feels bruised, aching with pity for WWX and Wangji. But there is some hope.
If Uncle is inclined to take that view of things, the situation may be salvageable.
If Uncle is moved by pity and desirous of guiding a former student back to a safer path, much may be achieved.
And Uncle has spoken truthfully: even if WWX's core has been destroyed, he retains his keen intellect and remarkable skill with talismans.
And Uncle has spoken truthfully: even if WWX's core has been destroyed, he retains his keen intellect and remarkable skill with talismans.
There are those among the Great Sects who have weak cultivation, but possess elevated minds and esoteric knowledge.
WWX could live as a scholar, perhaps.
It would not be what he wanted, nor what he deserved. It would not be what poor Wangji must have hoped for.
WWX could live as a scholar, perhaps.
It would not be what he wanted, nor what he deserved. It would not be what poor Wangji must have hoped for.
But they could find some happiness together, even if WWX was deprived of a cultivator's long lifespan.
At the moment, LXC is inclined to grasp at any straw, to look for any path that might offer a happy ending.
At the moment, LXC is inclined to grasp at any straw, to look for any path that might offer a happy ending.
WWX is silent, though. His eyes are blank and remote, and he hardly seems to have heard Uncle's gentle advice.
WQ wets her lips.
"We've been concerned about outside threats," she reminds them. "We had to do things we all regretted to keep ourselves safe."
WQ wets her lips.
"We've been concerned about outside threats," she reminds them. "We had to do things we all regretted to keep ourselves safe."
She draws in a deep breath. LXC hears it shudder slightly in her chest.
"I agree that what Wei Wuxian has been doing isn't healthy for him. I know it puts his mind and body at risk. But we had to protect ourselves, and we don't have many other options."
"I agree that what Wei Wuxian has been doing isn't healthy for him. I know it puts his mind and body at risk. But we had to protect ourselves, and we don't have many other options."
LQR respond with a slight wave of his hand.
"Perhaps so. But that is past. You are under the protection of the Lan sect now. The Nies and the Jiangs have agreed to support the relocation of your family, They have sworn not to oppress you unless you engage in criminal behavior."
"Perhaps so. But that is past. You are under the protection of the Lan sect now. The Nies and the Jiangs have agreed to support the relocation of your family, They have sworn not to oppress you unless you engage in criminal behavior."
A light snowfall begins outside. Uncle studies the swirling flakes with grim focus.
"If the Jins continue to make trouble...they will be dealt with. But if we state that Wei Wuxian is here for treatment and quiet contemplation, the Jins have no cause to object."
"If the Jins continue to make trouble...they will be dealt with. But if we state that Wei Wuxian is here for treatment and quiet contemplation, the Jins have no cause to object."
"There will be no need to continue using destructive methods of cultivation. You are safe now."
Yet WWX does not feel safe. LXC can read that in his rigid posture, his blank expression, his frozen silence. He does not feel safe at all.
Yet WWX does not feel safe. LXC can read that in his rigid posture, his blank expression, his frozen silence. He does not feel safe at all.
Perhaps he hasn't felt safe since Lotus Pier fell, and Jiang Fengmian was killed.
LXC clings stubbornly to the hope that such things can be mended. Wangji, he knows, would do anything to help WWX feel safe. He would protect WWX with everything he had.
LXC clings stubbornly to the hope that such things can be mended. Wangji, he knows, would do anything to help WWX feel safe. He would protect WWX with everything he had.
And there will be children soon, crawling all over WWX's lap.
Even if they could not be WWX's children formally - even if he could not feed them with his own spiritual energy - they would know him as their father's husband. They would learn to love him.
Even if they could not be WWX's children formally - even if he could not feed them with his own spiritual energy - they would know him as their father's husband. They would learn to love him.
WWX could have a proper family, and they might make it easier for him to bear this.
The physicians could help, too. WWX was hardly the first cultivator to survive a war, only to be left with a scarred and restless mind.
The physicians could help, too. WWX was hardly the first cultivator to survive a war, only to be left with a scarred and restless mind.
LXC did not know much about medicine, but he knew there were methods to treat melancholy and insomnia and agitation.
"Wei Wuxian," he murmurs. "Please allow our physicians to examine you. They can surely provide some relief."
"Wei Wuxian," he murmurs. "Please allow our physicians to examine you. They can surely provide some relief."
WQ straightens at once.
"Let me examine him," she cuts in. "I haven't seen him in two weeks. Let me see what I can do. But in private, please."
Uncle exchanges a long look with LXC. Then he waves to the small sitting room adjoining his study with weary resignation.
"Let me examine him," she cuts in. "I haven't seen him in two weeks. Let me see what I can do. But in private, please."
Uncle exchanges a long look with LXC. Then he waves to the small sitting room adjoining his study with weary resignation.
"Do not allow him to leave without permission," he instructs WQ. "I rely on your honor."
Her honor, and the fact that her family depended upon the Lan sect's protection. LXC dislikes using their influence in such a fashion, but he knows that they can't allow WWX to leave.
Her honor, and the fact that her family depended upon the Lan sect's protection. LXC dislikes using their influence in such a fashion, but he knows that they can't allow WWX to leave.
Young men in such a desperate position were apt to do...very foolish things.
And WWX could be shielded from harm only while he remained under their sect's guardianship. If he escaped and ran wild, the Jins would insist he was a threat. They would start to maneuver against him.
And WWX could be shielded from harm only while he remained under their sect's guardianship. If he escaped and ran wild, the Jins would insist he was a threat. They would start to maneuver against him.
WQ tugs WWX into the next room and slides the door shut.
LXC presses a hand to his temple. His head aches, both from the pain of this discovery and the precariousness of the present political situation.
LXC presses a hand to his temple. His head aches, both from the pain of this discovery and the precariousness of the present political situation.
They cannot tell the sects what happened, but LXC hardly knows how to hide it.
They might claim that WWX is practicing closed-door cultivation. That excuse would buy them a few months. But sooner or later, the rest of the cultivation world will ask what has become of WWX.
They might claim that WWX is practicing closed-door cultivation. That excuse would buy them a few months. But sooner or later, the rest of the cultivation world will ask what has become of WWX.
They will want him to return, sword in hand, reformed and ready to resume the orthodox path. Or, if he refuses to reform, they will want him to face justice for flouting the laws and customs that forbade raising the dead.
LXC does not know what to do.
LXC does not know what to do.
"How could this have happened?" he asks, rather helplessly.
He isn't speaking literally, but Uncle seems to take the question so.
"He was absent for many months during the war," Uncle strokes his beard restlessly. "Even his own sect did not know what had become of him."
He isn't speaking literally, but Uncle seems to take the question so.
"He was absent for many months during the war," Uncle strokes his beard restlessly. "Even his own sect did not know what had become of him."
LXC remembers that well enough. He heard of Jiang Yanli's pale and drawn face, as the weeks slipped by with no word of WWX. He heard of the long hours Jiang Wanyin spend traveling with Wangji, scouring the countryside for clues.
"I have heard that both Jiang Fengmian and Yu Ziyuan had their cores destroyed shortly before their deaths."
Uncle's voice grows caustic, almost bitter.
"Naturally, the Wens would not have spared a young disciple. When did they ever spare anyone?"
Uncle's voice grows caustic, almost bitter.
"Naturally, the Wens would not have spared a young disciple. When did they ever spare anyone?"
LXC shuts his eyes again.
He has heard terrible stories of children murdered to punish parents who had offended Wen Ruohan. They would not have spared WWX merely because he was young, and only an foster son of the Jiang sect.
He has heard terrible stories of children murdered to punish parents who had offended Wen Ruohan. They would not have spared WWX merely because he was young, and only an foster son of the Jiang sect.
"Do you believe that a cure may be found?" LXC asks, his voice hushes.
Uncle had seemed to imply that something may be done. Much of their library was destroyed during the war, but they are rebuilding. LXC saved the most vital texts, and they sought copies from other sects.
Uncle had seemed to imply that something may be done. Much of their library was destroyed during the war, but they are rebuilding. LXC saved the most vital texts, and they sought copies from other sects.
He would like to believe that some text, somewhere, may hold the secret of restoring a destroyed golden core.
Uncle sets his jaw.
"I will exhaust every record in the library."
His voice is full of unusual passion. LXC turns to him with some surprise. In response, Uncle sighs.
Uncle sets his jaw.
"I will exhaust every record in the library."
His voice is full of unusual passion. LXC turns to him with some surprise. In response, Uncle sighs.
"Xichen. Do not misunderstand. My opinion of Wei Wuxian has never been high. I have made no secret of this. He has transgressed upon our disciplines times beyond measure."
Uncle's face is careworn. He shakes his head.
Uncle's face is careworn. He shakes his head.
"But for such a thing to befall a disciple with his level of skill...it is a tragedy. I am sorry for him...and for Wangji."
"He would never have turned to demonic cultivation if he had retained his core," LXC remarks.
Uncle is quiet for a moment.
"He would never have turned to demonic cultivation if he had retained his core," LXC remarks.
Uncle is quiet for a moment.
"Perhaps not."
His voice is gruff, but by no means unkind. He clears his throat, his posture straightening.
"He must be kept here, so that we may oversee his recovery and ensure that he isn't tempted to return to destructive methods of cultivation."
His voice is gruff, but by no means unkind. He clears his throat, his posture straightening.
"He must be kept here, so that we may oversee his recovery and ensure that he isn't tempted to return to destructive methods of cultivation."
LXC nods.
But while he might hope for the best, he can't help imagining the worst.
"And if..." LXC creases his brow. "If nothing further can be done, aside from purging his body of any lingering resentful energy?"
Uncle sighs again.
But while he might hope for the best, he can't help imagining the worst.
"And if..." LXC creases his brow. "If nothing further can be done, aside from purging his body of any lingering resentful energy?"
Uncle sighs again.
He returns his attention the window, and he looks very old indeed.
"Then he will become a true scholar, and use what skills are left to him inside the classrooms. I will train him myself. He will find what peace he can in his shortened lifespan."
"Then he will become a true scholar, and use what skills are left to him inside the classrooms. I will train him myself. He will find what peace he can in his shortened lifespan."
LXC let himself visualize it for just a few moments: WWX, growing old and gray while Wangji remained young. WWX perishing and leaving Wangji to live on, without his mate, for many centuries.
Uncle is thinking of such things too. His face is pinched around the eyes and mouth.
Uncle is thinking of such things too. His face is pinched around the eyes and mouth.
"This will change nothing about Wangji's feelings," LXC murmurs.
It does not seem like a helpful thing to say. But it must be said. It must not hang between them, lingering in the silence.
Uncle merely inclines his head.
"I know."
It does not seem like a helpful thing to say. But it must be said. It must not hang between them, lingering in the silence.
Uncle merely inclines his head.
"I know."
Before he can say anything more, the door slides open.
WQ guides WWX back into the room. LXC does not know what has passed between them, but her arm is around his shoulders in a protective and almost maternal gesture.
WQ guides WWX back into the room. LXC does not know what has passed between them, but her arm is around his shoulders in a protective and almost maternal gesture.
"He's tired," she says firmly, "and he should rest. May I use your supplies to brew a remedy?"
It's clear from her tone that she will not allow any more discussion just now. But LXC certainly doesn't want to continue speaking of this. He wants to lie down and sleep, too.
It's clear from her tone that she will not allow any more discussion just now. But LXC certainly doesn't want to continue speaking of this. He wants to lie down and sleep, too.
LQR does not argue.
"Our physicians will provide you with what you need. Show them this, and they will let you into their stores."
He scrawls a brief note and hands it to WQ.
"Our physicians will provide you with what you need. Show them this, and they will let you into their stores."
He scrawls a brief note and hands it to WQ.
"Take him to the Jingshi to rest there. Wangji will not wake until morning."
Uncle pauses, considering.
"You might as well remain to watch over both of them. We will rely upon your oaths as a physician to provide appropriate care."
Uncle pauses, considering.
"You might as well remain to watch over both of them. We will rely upon your oaths as a physician to provide appropriate care."
LXC almost wants to protest. He dislikes the idea of allowing any physician but their own near Wangji and his eggs.
But WQ nods with brisk determination. She sweeps a deep bow, then guides WWX out into the snow.
But WQ nods with brisk determination. She sweeps a deep bow, then guides WWX out into the snow.
LXC watches the pair make their way toward the Jingshi.
The snow is light, and the paths have been swept clear. But they move very slowly, limping along as if they're both far older than their years.
The snow is light, and the paths have been swept clear. But they move very slowly, limping along as if they're both far older than their years.
(Pausing here!
Next up: WWX and LWJ have a proper talk, and things start to get much better.)
Next up: WWX and LWJ have a proper talk, and things start to get much better.)
(...lmao. Okay, I know ili's updating her threadfic right now, and she's at the Most Exciting Part, and everyone's on the edge of their seat.
But if I don't start my update this now, I won't have time tonight!
So fuck it: I guess we're ALL updating our threadfics tonight! \o/)
But if I don't start my update this now, I won't have time tonight!
So fuck it: I guess we're ALL updating our threadfics tonight! \o/)
🐉🥚🥚🥚
LWJ wakes with a headache. He reaches for his eggs before he even bothers to wipe his burning, gritty eyes.
It's become a ritual over the past month: he wakes from cat-naps or long restful sleeps, and he reaches for the eggs.
LWJ wakes with a headache. He reaches for his eggs before he even bothers to wipe his burning, gritty eyes.
It's become a ritual over the past month: he wakes from cat-naps or long restful sleeps, and he reaches for the eggs.
He can't be at ease until he feels the tiny pulse of life from within each shell...the little flutters and movements of his children as they wake with him.
Slowly, LWJ traces his hand over the three eggs. One of his children is still asleep, their energy a soft ebb.
Slowly, LWJ traces his hand over the three eggs. One of his children is still asleep, their energy a soft ebb.
But the other two are awake. They wriggle when they feel his touch. LWJ lets out a soft sigh and opens his aching eyes.
The bedroom is dark. It always is, these days. The winter days are short, the shutters are closed to protect the nesting chamber against the whirling snow.
The bedroom is dark. It always is, these days. The winter days are short, the shutters are closed to protect the nesting chamber against the whirling snow.
But in spite of the darkness, LWJ senses that it is daytime. And he senses that he has overslept.
His carefully tended timetable has fallen to pieces since he started nesting. Often, he doesn't know what hour it is, or even what day it is. But he knows he has slept too long.
His carefully tended timetable has fallen to pieces since he started nesting. Often, he doesn't know what hour it is, or even what day it is. But he knows he has slept too long.
He should have been awake before now. And he knows, deep in his chest, that there is something he should be attending to.
It takes too long to remember what it is. But when he remembers, he wishes that he had never woken up. His eyes burn again and he shuts them.
It takes too long to remember what it is. But when he remembers, he wishes that he had never woken up. His eyes burn again and he shuts them.
He's filled with the selfish desire to sink back into unconsciousness. But one of the children squirms, an egg rocking against his side. LWJ draws it close, already repenting of such thoughts.
He cannot sleep. He cannot curl into a ball and waste away.
He cannot sleep. He cannot curl into a ball and waste away.
Not when his children are here, waiting to be fed and tended.
But when he thinks of feeding the children, he remembers Wei Ying's ashen and stricken face. He remembers how he tried to steal Wei Ying's energy for his children.
But when he thinks of feeding the children, he remembers Wei Ying's ashen and stricken face. He remembers how he tried to steal Wei Ying's energy for his children.
How he found nothing within Wei Ying's body but a cruel, blistering emptiness.
Half his soul wants to jump from the bed and stumble out into the snow, as he had when Wei Ying fled. He wants to find his brother and ask if Wei Ying was found. If he was brought back safely.
Half his soul wants to jump from the bed and stumble out into the snow, as he had when Wei Ying fled. He wants to find his brother and ask if Wei Ying was found. If he was brought back safely.
If Wei Ying is somewhere warm and dry, fed and sheltered, protected.
The other half of LWJ's soul quivers in fear at the thought of his brother's response.
Wei Ying may have been found and brought back...or he may not.
The other half of LWJ's soul quivers in fear at the thought of his brother's response.
Wei Ying may have been found and brought back...or he may not.
LWJ digs the heels of his hands into his eyes until he sees stars. He doesn't know which possibility would be worse.
After what LWJ did, Wei Ying will never want to speak to him again. LWJ cannot blame him. He is no better than his father, after all.
After what LWJ did, Wei Ying will never want to speak to him again. LWJ cannot blame him. He is no better than his father, after all.
Wei Ying refused to feed the children...refused because he COULDN'T, perhaps. But he refused nonetheless.
And LWJ, selfish and avaricious, thinking of nothing but his own desires, tried to force him. It is unforgivable.
If Wei Ying is gone, perhaps it is for the best.
And LWJ, selfish and avaricious, thinking of nothing but his own desires, tried to force him. It is unforgivable.
If Wei Ying is gone, perhaps it is for the best.
Perhaps he is safer, away from LWJ.
Perhaps anyone a Lan chooses to love is safer elsewhere.
But as he thinks of Wei Ying disappearing along the long winding road down the mountainside, LWJ's heart stutters in his chest.
Perhaps anyone a Lan chooses to love is safer elsewhere.
But as he thinks of Wei Ying disappearing along the long winding road down the mountainside, LWJ's heart stutters in his chest.
If Wei Ying were healthy and well, it would be all right. LWJ could console himself that Wei Ying would find happiness elsewhere.
But what happiness can there be for him? What safety is left, now that he's been cast off by the Jiangs and scorned by the cultivation world?
But what happiness can there be for him? What safety is left, now that he's been cast off by the Jiangs and scorned by the cultivation world?
What can he do without his golden core...without the means to protect himself?
He can use his newfound methods of cultivation, true. But he hasn't been well. LWJ has seen that Wei Ying isn't well, though perhaps he hasn't paid attention to that as he should.
He can use his newfound methods of cultivation, true. But he hasn't been well. LWJ has seen that Wei Ying isn't well, though perhaps he hasn't paid attention to that as he should.
It has been hard to think of such things...hard to feel anything but pleasure at Wei Ying's presence in the nesting chamber.
He has made sure that Wei Ying has plenty to eat. And there's a bed for Wei Ying, piled with silken quilts. There is a roaring fire.
He has made sure that Wei Ying has plenty to eat. And there's a bed for Wei Ying, piled with silken quilts. There is a roaring fire.
LWJ thought it would be all right. He thought Wei Ying would be safe now.
The nesting chamber felt snug and secure, and LWJ thought it would help Wei Ying gain weight and color. He thought Wei Ying would lose the strained, hunted look he had started to wear.
The nesting chamber felt snug and secure, and LWJ thought it would help Wei Ying gain weight and color. He thought Wei Ying would lose the strained, hunted look he had started to wear.
He thought everything would be all right, now that Wei Ying was safe in Cloud Recesses.
Foolish, LWJ thinks.
He grinds his teeth together and digs his nails into his palms. Foolish. His father must have thought the same, once. He thought a prison of safety would be enough.
Foolish, LWJ thinks.
He grinds his teeth together and digs his nails into his palms. Foolish. His father must have thought the same, once. He thought a prison of safety would be enough.
And now perhaps Wei Ying is gone. Perhaps he escaped, as LWJ's mother never had.
But what will he do, if he has nowhere to go? How will he eat? Where will he sleep? Who will care for him if he becomes ill?
Will LWJ ever know what has become of Wei Ying?
But what will he do, if he has nowhere to go? How will he eat? Where will he sleep? Who will care for him if he becomes ill?
Will LWJ ever know what has become of Wei Ying?
Will he hear someday that Wei Ying's use of demonic cultivation has driven him mad?
Will he hear that the sects swooped down upon Wei Ying the moment he left the Lans' protection?
He can't force Wei Ying to return to CR. Not now.
Will he hear that the sects swooped down upon Wei Ying the moment he left the Lans' protection?
He can't force Wei Ying to return to CR. Not now.
But if something terrible happens to Wei Ying because LWJ was greedy...because he demanded too much...
LWJ realizes that he has ruined everything.
The egg rocks again.
LWJ opens his burning eyes, and stares at Little Blue.
LWJ realizes that he has ruined everything.
The egg rocks again.
LWJ opens his burning eyes, and stares at Little Blue.
They are hungry, and growing impatient for their breakfast. But LWJ can't bear to feed Little Blue now. He can hardly stand to look at his egg.
Wei Ying was the one to give them their nickname. He was the one to scold Little Blue for fussing at mealtimes.
Wei Ying was the one to give them their nickname. He was the one to scold Little Blue for fussing at mealtimes.
They latched hungrily onto the warm stream of LWJ's spiritual energy, and Wei Ying sighed over it.
"Look how greedy! Ah, Little Blue. Don't you know that there are rules about these things? You can't ask for more and more. There's a three-bowl limit in Cloud Recesses!"
"Look how greedy! Ah, Little Blue. Don't you know that there are rules about these things? You can't ask for more and more. There's a three-bowl limit in Cloud Recesses!"
He had tapped Little Blue's shell reproachfully.
Little Blue had squirmed in their shell, continuing to feed on LWJ's energy with a sort of stubborn defiance.
And LWJ had smiled, pleased with his child's vigorous appetite and Wei Ying's playful scolding.
Little Blue had squirmed in their shell, continuing to feed on LWJ's energy with a sort of stubborn defiance.
And LWJ had smiled, pleased with his child's vigorous appetite and Wei Ying's playful scolding.
He had relaxed against the bedding, satisfied that Wei Ying was scolding his children just as a father might.
He had thought - there, in the dreamy, delirious warmth of the nesting chamber - that everything was settled now.
He had thought - there, in the dreamy, delirious warmth of the nesting chamber - that everything was settled now.
He had thought Wei Ying was saying that he meant to marry into the Lan clan, to raise the children according to the Lan sect rules.
LWJ thought the nicknames were a sign of affection, a way for Wei Ying to stake his claim. He had thought Wei Ying wanted the children.
LWJ thought the nicknames were a sign of affection, a way for Wei Ying to stake his claim. He had thought Wei Ying wanted the children.
He took it entirely for granted, clinging to a few careless words from long ago:
"Jiang Cheng! I've decided I want five children. That's a good number! Three boys and two girls! No, three girls and two boys! Lan Zhan, which do you think is better? Five is a good number, right?"
"Jiang Cheng! I've decided I want five children. That's a good number! Three boys and two girls! No, three girls and two boys! Lan Zhan, which do you think is better? Five is a good number, right?"
He had clung to another set of words, too:
"I once took you as my zhiji in this lifetime."
Foolish. He was so terribly, terribly foolish.
"I once took you as my zhiji in this lifetime."
Foolish. He was so terribly, terribly foolish.
Little Blue rocks again.
LWJ's body feels frozen, locked into place. But he pushes himself up, every bone aching.
He has already been selfish once: demanding something Wei Ying hadn't wanted to give. He can't be selfish again by neglecting his children.
LWJ's body feels frozen, locked into place. But he pushes himself up, every bone aching.
He has already been selfish once: demanding something Wei Ying hadn't wanted to give. He can't be selfish again by neglecting his children.
They need to eat, so he must feed them. But he doesn't have enough strength for it now. He must eat first, then feed the children.
And then...
LWJ doesn't know what will come after that. He can't even bear to think of it.
And then...
LWJ doesn't know what will come after that. He can't even bear to think of it.
He pushes back the bedcurtains, shakily maneuvering himself into a seated position.
On the other side of the Jingshi, there's a rustling: an unfamiliar set of footsteps, the rasp of clothing as someone walks across the floor.
"Hanguang-Jun. You slept for a long time."
On the other side of the Jingshi, there's a rustling: an unfamiliar set of footsteps, the rasp of clothing as someone walks across the floor.
"Hanguang-Jun. You slept for a long time."
WQ appears at his bedside.
LWJ stares at her blankly, uncomprehendingly. Then, because he doesn't know what to do, he tries to rise to his feet.
WQ rushes to stop him.
"Please. Don't get up."
She draws the quilt over him. Belatedly, LWJ recalls that he's still undressed.
LWJ stares at her blankly, uncomprehendingly. Then, because he doesn't know what to do, he tries to rise to his feet.
WQ rushes to stop him.
"Please. Don't get up."
She draws the quilt over him. Belatedly, LWJ recalls that he's still undressed.
Another time, he would be mortified that he nearly bared his body to a strange woman. As it is, he too numb for embarrassment.
At least she's a physician, and unruffled by such things. She covers him up without a trace of discomfort, then steps back from the bed.
At least she's a physician, and unruffled by such things. She covers him up without a trace of discomfort, then steps back from the bed.
She seems to expect him to say something. But LWJ can only stare at her in bleak silence.
"Wei Wuxian is just through there," she says gently, when the silence has stretched on too long. "He's sleeping."
She motions to the door leading to the small study.
"Wei Wuxian is just through there," she says gently, when the silence has stretched on too long. "He's sleeping."
She motions to the door leading to the small study.
Wei Ying has been sleeping there, in his own makeshift bed.
LWJ had been mildly disturbed by that before. He had wondered why Wei Ying hadn't chosen to sleep in the nest. But he supposed vaguely that Wei Ying was waiting for their wedding to be arranged, out of respect.
LWJ had been mildly disturbed by that before. He had wondered why Wei Ying hadn't chosen to sleep in the nest. But he supposed vaguely that Wei Ying was waiting for their wedding to be arranged, out of respect.
LWJ had supposed that there would be a wedding. He thought that Wei Ying was waiting for that day as eagerly as LWJ.
Foolish. Impossibly, abysmally foolish.
LWJ is filled with self-loathing. He can hardly scrape together relief at the discovery that Wei Ying is here.
Foolish. Impossibly, abysmally foolish.
LWJ is filled with self-loathing. He can hardly scrape together relief at the discovery that Wei Ying is here.
Of course, Brother found him. Of course, he brought Wei Ying back. LWJ should be grateful.
He is grateful; it is a profound relief to know that Wei Ying isn't starving to death in the snow or captured by the Jins. But Wei Ying is here when he doesn't want to be here.
He is grateful; it is a profound relief to know that Wei Ying isn't starving to death in the snow or captured by the Jins. But Wei Ying is here when he doesn't want to be here.
LWJ can't take much comfort in that.
WQ gives him a long, assessing look.
"May I check your pulse?" she asks.
LWJ doesn't particularly want her to do that. He suddenly feels that if anyone touches him, he might burst into tears all over again.
WQ gives him a long, assessing look.
"May I check your pulse?" she asks.
LWJ doesn't particularly want her to do that. He suddenly feels that if anyone touches him, he might burst into tears all over again.
But she is a physician, and he has to comply with any request his physicians might make.
The eggs pulse in his lap, all three children now awake and hungry. He can't give into misery while his children are waiting for their breakfast.
So he lets her take his pulse.
The eggs pulse in his lap, all three children now awake and hungry. He can't give into misery while his children are waiting for their breakfast.
So he lets her take his pulse.
She examines his coloring, too. At last, WQ steps back with a brisk nod.
"You should eat," she says. "I'll brew your tea."
"No," LWJ blurts out.
He doesn't remember much from the moments before he slipped into sleep. He remembers weeping in Uncle's lap.
"You should eat," she says. "I'll brew your tea."
"No," LWJ blurts out.
He doesn't remember much from the moments before he slipped into sleep. He remembers weeping in Uncle's lap.
He remembers the raw, heart-wrenching grief as he finally understood what Wei Ying had lost...why Wei Ying had done what he'd done.
And he remembers Uncle tipping a cup of something bitter down his throat.
He supposes Uncle was driven to it. LWJ must have seemed hysterical.
And he remembers Uncle tipping a cup of something bitter down his throat.
He supposes Uncle was driven to it. LWJ must have seemed hysterical.
But the first wave of panic is gone, leaving LWJ cold and numb.
He doesn't want any more of that tea. He doesn't want to slip away. He doesn't want to leave his children to wait, hungrily, for someone to feed them. If Wei Ying cannot...then LWJ must do it all himself.
He doesn't want any more of that tea. He doesn't want to slip away. He doesn't want to leave his children to wait, hungrily, for someone to feed them. If Wei Ying cannot...then LWJ must do it all himself.
"I don't want to sleep any more," he murmurs, when WQ looks at him in surprise.
Her face softens and she sighs.
"Not THAT tea. Just the strengthening blend that will support your energy flow."
She disappears then. LWJ is left alone in the nest, cradling his children.
Her face softens and she sighs.
"Not THAT tea. Just the strengthening blend that will support your energy flow."
She disappears then. LWJ is left alone in the nest, cradling his children.
He does his best to juggle all three on his lap. They're getting a little too big for that now, but he doesn't want to put them down. They seem to be all he has left to hold onto.
LWJ will have to raise them alone. He understands that now.
LWJ will have to raise them alone. He understands that now.
Wei Ying doesn't want him, and Wei Ying has his own burdens and sorrows. He doesn't want LWJ's help, and he doesn't want LWJ's children.
If he doted on the children before, it was only kindness. LWJ has misunderstood everything. He has been so very blind.
If he doted on the children before, it was only kindness. LWJ has misunderstood everything. He has been so very blind.
His own judgment clearly cannot be trusted. So he submits to WQ's instructions.
He drinks the tea she gives him and eats from the tray she puts across his lap. She brings him a bowl of warm water so he can wash his face and hands. He does that too.
He drinks the tea she gives him and eats from the tray she puts across his lap. She brings him a bowl of warm water so he can wash his face and hands. He does that too.
He must look dreadful, but he doesn't care about that now. He can't bring himself to ask for a comb, or clothing to preserve his modesty. He forces down his food instead.
At last, WQ removes the tray.
"He didn't tell me," LWJ chokes out.
WQ stiffens.
At last, WQ removes the tray.
"He didn't tell me," LWJ chokes out.
WQ stiffens.
For a moment, she doesn't move. Then she sets the tray beside the bed and she eases herself reluctantly into a chair.
"Please don't take it personally." She pinches the bridge of her nose. "He didn't tell anyone. Not even Jiang Yanli. He didn't want anyone to know."
"Please don't take it personally." She pinches the bridge of her nose. "He didn't tell anyone. Not even Jiang Yanli. He didn't want anyone to know."
LWJ tries to absorb that.
"Why?" he whispers.
WQ gives him an arch look.
"Would you? If you were in his position, would you want others to know?"
LWJ stares at the eggs. He owes her - he owes Wei Ying - an honest answer. So he tries to force himself to picture it.
"Why?" he whispers.
WQ gives him an arch look.
"Would you? If you were in his position, would you want others to know?"
LWJ stares at the eggs. He owes her - he owes Wei Ying - an honest answer. So he tries to force himself to picture it.
His core, crushed into fragments. His future, destroyed. His life as cultivator, evaporating into smoke.
A short mortal life, vulnerable to sickness and aging. Every bit of spiritual power he possessed, gone forever.
...No. LWJ would not want the world to know.
A short mortal life, vulnerable to sickness and aging. Every bit of spiritual power he possessed, gone forever.
...No. LWJ would not want the world to know.
He wouldn't want to stand before others - the Lan disciples, cultivators from other sects - and receive looks of pity.
He would not wish to become an object of mingled sympathy and horror. He wouldn't want to listen to the whispers, as people murmured what a shame it was.
He would not wish to become an object of mingled sympathy and horror. He wouldn't want to listen to the whispers, as people murmured what a shame it was.
What a pity, that a cultivator of his caliber had been reduced to a mundane person.
But LWJ knows that he could not have concealed this from everyone. Nor would he have wished to.
"No. But I would tell my family." He hesitates. Then: "I would have told him."
But LWJ knows that he could not have concealed this from everyone. Nor would he have wished to.
"No. But I would tell my family." He hesitates. Then: "I would have told him."
He's almost sure it's the truth.
He would not have wanted to tell Wei Ying. He would not have wanted Wei Ying's pity, either. And he would have shrunk from the possibility that he had ruined his prospects with Wei Ying entirely.
He would not have wanted to tell Wei Ying. He would not have wanted Wei Ying's pity, either. And he would have shrunk from the possibility that he had ruined his prospects with Wei Ying entirely.
He would not have wanted to discover whether Wei Ying could care for him, even if he no longer had a golden core.
It is irrelevant now: LWJ has ruined his chances with Wei Ying in an entirely different way. But he could have told Wei Ying. He thinks he would have told Wei Ying.
It is irrelevant now: LWJ has ruined his chances with Wei Ying in an entirely different way. But he could have told Wei Ying. He thinks he would have told Wei Ying.
At the very least, he would have told his brother.
LWJ doesn't understand how Wei Ying had concealed this from his beloved shijie, of all people.
But WQ only sighs. Her head is bowed.
"There are...some details that you still don't know about."
LWJ doesn't understand how Wei Ying had concealed this from his beloved shijie, of all people.
But WQ only sighs. Her head is bowed.
"There are...some details that you still don't know about."
"I'm trying to persuade him to tell you the full story. But he's afraid." She knots her hands together on her lap. "He's afraid of how people might react, and he doesn't want to hurt anyone."
LWJ blinks.
"It hurts more," he says slowly. "Not to be told."
LWJ blinks.
"It hurts more," he says slowly. "Not to be told."
If Wei Ying had told him the truth, when they met in that outpost and watched as Wen Chao sniveled and begged for his life...
LWJ doesn't know how he would have responded. He doesn't know how Jiang Wanyin would have responded, either.
LWJ doesn't know how he would have responded. He doesn't know how Jiang Wanyin would have responded, either.
But he thinks they would both have been grieved to their very souls. They would have tried to help Wei Ying...comfort him, if they had any power to do so. They would have tried to get him somewhere safe.
It would have hurt terribly. But it hurt more, to have Wei Ying push them away: cutting himself off from the Jiang clan and refusing LWJ's pleas to come to CR.
It hurt more to lose him, and not understand why.
WQ looks very tired. Her hands unfold, loose and helpless.
It hurt more to lose him, and not understand why.
WQ looks very tired. Her hands unfold, loose and helpless.
"I know. That's why I'm trying to convince him to come clean." She grimaces. "Just...be patient with him. Please. He's been through a lot."
She is quiet for a moment.
"I don't think I helped him the way I should have," she adds in a low voice. "I think I made things worse."
She is quiet for a moment.
"I don't think I helped him the way I should have," she adds in a low voice. "I think I made things worse."
LWJ doesn't understand what she means. But then, perhaps he does understand. He stares at the bed-curtains, his throat aching.
"As did I."
He doesn't want to confess this to her, but he feels he must. He wets his lips.
"I tried to force him to feed the children."
"As did I."
He doesn't want to confess this to her, but he feels he must. He wets his lips.
"I tried to force him to feed the children."
He wonders if she will strike him.
It would not be fitting behavior for a physician, but she is also Wei Ying's friend. If anyone else had done this to Wei Ying, LWJ would strike them. They would deserve it. He deserves it now.
It would not be fitting behavior for a physician, but she is also Wei Ying's friend. If anyone else had done this to Wei Ying, LWJ would strike them. They would deserve it. He deserves it now.
But WQ merely stares at him, her face remote and inscrutable.
"It was inexcusable." LWJ's voice falters, chokes. "He will not...he will not wish to speak to me again. I know this."
He would not have her think that he means to carry on with his wretched behavior.
"It was inexcusable." LWJ's voice falters, chokes. "He will not...he will not wish to speak to me again. I know this."
He would not have her think that he means to carry on with his wretched behavior.
He understands his mistakes now.
Wei Ying must be allowed to leave CR if he wishes. If he chooses to stay - for the safety the Lans can offer, if nothing else - he must not be bound to LWJ.
LWJ can avoid making THAT mistake, at any rate.
Wei Ying must be allowed to leave CR if he wishes. If he chooses to stay - for the safety the Lans can offer, if nothing else - he must not be bound to LWJ.
LWJ can avoid making THAT mistake, at any rate.
He can avoid repeating his father's sins THERE.
He won't bind Wei Ying with a marriage, children, ties of obligation. He will never impose himself upon Wei Ying again. He will offer whatever aid Wei Ying is willing to accept, without expecting anything in return.
He won't bind Wei Ying with a marriage, children, ties of obligation. He will never impose himself upon Wei Ying again. He will offer whatever aid Wei Ying is willing to accept, without expecting anything in return.
But he fears Wei Ying will never trust him enough to accept his help now.
WQ puts her head in her hands.
For an instant, LWJ thinks she's stricken with horror at the weight of his offenses. He expects her to leave the room in disgust.
WQ puts her head in her hands.
For an instant, LWJ thinks she's stricken with horror at the weight of his offenses. He expects her to leave the room in disgust.
But when she lifts her head, she merely looks tired. There's even a trace of rueful amusement lingering around the edge of her mouth. LWJ doesn't understand it.
"You two are just the same," she sighs. "Do you realize that?"
She reaches out, fiddling with the empty dishes.
"You two are just the same," she sighs. "Do you realize that?"
She reaches out, fiddling with the empty dishes.
"You both think you've done something unforgivable. You think the other person will never want to speak to you ever again. Meanwhile, you don't even care about anything that might have been done to YOU!"
LWJ blinks. He doesn't see how anyone has wronged him.
LWJ blinks. He doesn't see how anyone has wronged him.
It would have been better, perhaps, if Wei Ying had confided in him. LWJ would have understood the situation, then. He might have made wiser decisions. He might have found a way to help Wei Ying, rather than driving him away with selfish or clumsy demands.
But Wei Ying certainly hasn't wronged him.
He stares down at the empty bowl on the tray, at the few grains of rice clinging to the sides. He tries to think through what WQ has said, parsing her words.
'You both think you've done something unforgivable.'
He stares down at the empty bowl on the tray, at the few grains of rice clinging to the sides. He tries to think through what WQ has said, parsing her words.
'You both think you've done something unforgivable.'
Does Wei Ying truly believe that? LWJ's heart clenches at the thought, but it makes a terrible amount of sense.
When LWJ...made his overtures...Wei Ying had tried to let him down gently.
But the arguments he had used...
When LWJ...made his overtures...Wei Ying had tried to let him down gently.
But the arguments he had used...
"I'm not fit to be anyone's father."
"I don't have anything to give a child."
"You shouldn't think about me at all."
LWJ would like to believe that these were merely polite excuses, or attempts to silence LWJ's unwelcome proposals.
That would be humiliating. It would sting.
"I don't have anything to give a child."
"You shouldn't think about me at all."
LWJ would like to believe that these were merely polite excuses, or attempts to silence LWJ's unwelcome proposals.
That would be humiliating. It would sting.
It would hurt to know that Wei Ying felt compelled to insult himself to make LWJ back away.
But it would hurt more to know that Wei Ying meant what he said. That Wei Ying truly believes he isn't fit to be a father. That he thinks he has nothing to offer a spouse or a child.
But it would hurt more to know that Wei Ying meant what he said. That Wei Ying truly believes he isn't fit to be a father. That he thinks he has nothing to offer a spouse or a child.
That he believes LWJ should forget him altogether.
It would hurt more to know that Wei Ying blames himself for the tragedies he's experienced, or feels that he doesn't even deserve LWJ's friendship.
LWJ stares down at his lap in silence. After a few moments, WQ sighs again.
It would hurt more to know that Wei Ying blames himself for the tragedies he's experienced, or feels that he doesn't even deserve LWJ's friendship.
LWJ stares down at his lap in silence. After a few moments, WQ sighs again.
"He'll want to speak to you again. Trust me."
She shifts in her chair, as if uneasy.
"But he thinks you won't want him anymore, now that you know the truth. So do me a favor and try to convince him otherwise."
LWJ nods mutely, and WQ pours out another round of tea.
She shifts in her chair, as if uneasy.
"But he thinks you won't want him anymore, now that you know the truth. So do me a favor and try to convince him otherwise."
LWJ nods mutely, and WQ pours out another round of tea.
"Finish your tea before it gets cold. Feed your children, and try to rest a little more."
She rises to her feet and turns away from the bed.
"I'll let you know when he's awake."
LWJ doesn't know what to do with himself then. His thoughts are scattered, blowing in the wind.
She rises to her feet and turns away from the bed.
"I'll let you know when he's awake."
LWJ doesn't know what to do with himself then. His thoughts are scattered, blowing in the wind.
But he tries to follow her orders.
He feeds the eggs. His children latch onto his energy, feasting luxuriously. LWJ gives them everything he can, reserving only a tiny portion of energy for himself.
Afterward, he's so exhausted that he can hardly keep his eyes open.
He feeds the eggs. His children latch onto his energy, feasting luxuriously. LWJ gives them everything he can, reserving only a tiny portion of energy for himself.
Afterward, he's so exhausted that he can hardly keep his eyes open.
After a while - LWJ doesn't know how long - his brother comes.
He sits beside LWJ's bed and strokes his hair. He transfers over some of his energy, and LWJ feels marginally less drained after that.
But it means he has to stay awake for his brother's attempts at comfort.
He sits beside LWJ's bed and strokes his hair. He transfers over some of his energy, and LWJ feels marginally less drained after that.
But it means he has to stay awake for his brother's attempts at comfort.
LWJ wishes he could sleep through those.
His brother means well, of course. LWJ is desperately grateful for all his support thus far. He knows that he's caused a great deal of trouble for his family, between the unexpected arrival of the eggs and the situation with the Wens.
His brother means well, of course. LWJ is desperately grateful for all his support thus far. He knows that he's caused a great deal of trouble for his family, between the unexpected arrival of the eggs and the situation with the Wens.
His brother has been very kind. But LWJ feels like his body is made of glass, like it might shatter with even the kindest touch.
His brother holds his hand, and tells him not to worry.
"We'll do everything we can for Wei Wuxian," he murmurs.
His brother holds his hand, and tells him not to worry.
"We'll do everything we can for Wei Wuxian," he murmurs.
"Uncle has spent all morning in the library. He's looking hard, trying to find something in our cultivation manuals that might help."
He seems to expect some kind of response. LWJ nods dully.
"We'll do our best to make sure that Wei Wuxian is safe and healthy."
He seems to expect some kind of response. LWJ nods dully.
"We'll do our best to make sure that Wei Wuxian is safe and healthy."
His gentle voice softens even further.
"Wangji. Try not to worry about this."
LWJ nods again. But he must worry. He can't refrain from worrying, now that he knows what WWX is suffering. What he has suffered for months, alone and abandoned by the entire world.
"Wangji. Try not to worry about this."
LWJ nods again. But he must worry. He can't refrain from worrying, now that he knows what WWX is suffering. What he has suffered for months, alone and abandoned by the entire world.
His brother leaves him to sleep, but LWJ finds that he can't quiet his mind enough for that. He can't even manage to meditate.
He lies on his side, stroking the eggs, thinking hard.
He thinks of his half-formed plans to build a family with Wei Ying.
He lies on his side, stroking the eggs, thinking hard.
He thinks of his half-formed plans to build a family with Wei Ying.
He thinks of how they began: guilty, embarrassed, furtive fantasies when he was still furious with himself for liking Wei Ying.
He remembers how the idea of having children with Wei Ying followed him around, dogging his steps.
He remembers how the idea of having children with Wei Ying followed him around, dogging his steps.
He could never quite forget this dream, even as he told himself it was impossible.
He thinks of the feverish weeks after he delivered his eggs. How it seemed that perhaps his dream could come true after all.
He thinks of the feverish weeks after he delivered his eggs. How it seemed that perhaps his dream could come true after all.
If he gave Wei Ying the children he always wanted, he thought, perhaps Wei Ying would eventually return his affections.
And for a time, LWJ convinced himself that it had worked. Wei Ying's gentle attention toward himself and his eggs had been very seductive.
And for a time, LWJ convinced himself that it had worked. Wei Ying's gentle attention toward himself and his eggs had been very seductive.
LWJ had dared to hope that he could have everything he wanted.
He smooths a hand over Little Shimmer's shell, tracing the sparkling golden flecks.
He doesn't know if that future is possible anymore. He doesn't know if Wei Ying could ever truly want him, or the eggs.
He smooths a hand over Little Shimmer's shell, tracing the sparkling golden flecks.
He doesn't know if that future is possible anymore. He doesn't know if Wei Ying could ever truly want him, or the eggs.
WQ seemed to suggest that LWJ's situations was not entirely hopeless. She seemed to suggest that WWX might come to forgive LWJ's selfish behavior.
She had also...
She had also suggested that Wei Ying would need to be convinced of LWJ's continued affections.
She had also...
She had also suggested that Wei Ying would need to be convinced of LWJ's continued affections.
She had implied that Wei Ying thought he was unworthy of such affections now.
She had implied...that he would not be unhappy, if LWJ's affections remained unshaken.
LWJ thinks on this for a very, very long time.
She had implied...that he would not be unhappy, if LWJ's affections remained unshaken.
LWJ thinks on this for a very, very long time.
When WQ comes to tell him that Wei Ying is awake and ready to speak, LWJ has decided what he must say.
He waits, curled around his eggs, cradling their warm weight against his belly. He knows that he looks disheveled beyond belief, but he can't care about that now.
He waits, curled around his eggs, cradling their warm weight against his belly. He knows that he looks disheveled beyond belief, but he can't care about that now.
And when Wei Ying arrives, he doesn't look entirely well either.
He has washed his face and combed his hair, or WQ has done it for him. He's wearing a clean set of robes. But he's very pale and his eyes are bloodshot.
He has washed his face and combed his hair, or WQ has done it for him. He's wearing a clean set of robes. But he's very pale and his eyes are bloodshot.
He stands some distance away from the bed, as if he's afraid to come nearer.
When WQ leaves, so they can speak in private, Wei Ying watches her go rather miserably. He looks as though he would have preferred her to stay.
LWJ waits in silence until she's gone.
When WQ leaves, so they can speak in private, Wei Ying watches her go rather miserably. He looks as though he would have preferred her to stay.
LWJ waits in silence until she's gone.
When the door slides shut behind her, he speaks.
(...I knooooow, what a place to stop. I'm sorry. But I have to pause for an hour or two. Hang tight, I'll be back soon! 😭)
(...I knooooow, what a place to stop. I'm sorry. But I have to pause for an hour or two. Hang tight, I'll be back soon! 😭)
(I'm back! Bump to the top of this section:
https://twitter.com/cicerfics/status/1428472394646183943)
"I am sorry," LWJ rasps. "My actions were unforgivable. I do not deserve your forgiveness, but please...please accept my apology."
He would like to get up and kneel at Wei Ying's feet, to show true repentance. But he can't bear to let go of his eggs.
He would like to get up and kneel at Wei Ying's feet, to show true repentance. But he can't bear to let go of his eggs.
So he clutches at his children, and hopes that Wei Ying will sense his remorse even without a full kowtow.
He expects Wei Ying to turn away with a grimace. He expects Wei Ying to say that he will need to think, but he will try to forgive LWJ in time.
He expects Wei Ying to turn away with a grimace. He expects Wei Ying to say that he will need to think, but he will try to forgive LWJ in time.
Wei Ying is very kind. He will not be as angry as he should be. LWJ knows that. Wei Ying is apt to forgive people, even when they don't deserve it.
But Wei Ying's face loses a little more color as LWJ speaks. Slowly, Wei Ying's lips part.
But Wei Ying's face loses a little more color as LWJ speaks. Slowly, Wei Ying's lips part.
"Lan Zhan. What...what are you apologizing for?"
LWJ stares.
But of course, he should list his offenses. That is proper. It's what he's always done before, on the rare occasion it was necessary: he told Uncle which rule he broke, and why such a violation deserved punishment.
LWJ stares.
But of course, he should list his offenses. That is proper. It's what he's always done before, on the rare occasion it was necessary: he told Uncle which rule he broke, and why such a violation deserved punishment.
So LWJ draws in a shuddering breath.
"I should not have forced you. I should not have tried to seize your energy by force." His voice cracks a little. "You told me no, and I didn't listen. To do such a thing..."
But he can't finish that thought.
"I should not have forced you. I should not have tried to seize your energy by force." His voice cracks a little. "You told me no, and I didn't listen. To do such a thing..."
But he can't finish that thought.
He can't find words to express this: the unshakable fear he has always carried, that he might do to someone what his father did to his mother. That his blood may be tainted. That he might be capable of forcing someone to marry him and claim his children, even against their will.
Wei Ying's mouth works soundlessly for a moment.
"You were upset." His voice is tentative, uncertain. "You were confused."
LWJ gives a sharp shake of his head.
"It is no excuse."
Another horrible idea occurs to LWJ. He catches his breath.
"You were upset." His voice is tentative, uncertain. "You were confused."
LWJ gives a sharp shake of his head.
"It is no excuse."
Another horrible idea occurs to LWJ. He catches his breath.
"Have I forced you to be here? Has my family forced you?"
He thought Wei Ying had come willingly. He thought his brother had made the request, and Wei Ying accepted because he wished to be with LWJ during the nesting period.
But perhaps he was mistaken.
He thought Wei Ying had come willingly. He thought his brother had made the request, and Wei Ying accepted because he wished to be with LWJ during the nesting period.
But perhaps he was mistaken.
Perhaps...
Perhaps Wei Ying has already been compelled to come here. To stay in Cloud Recesses, against his will.
LWJ's heart seizes. He imagines what sort of persuasions his family and the elders might have used.
Perhaps Wei Ying has already been compelled to come here. To stay in Cloud Recesses, against his will.
LWJ's heart seizes. He imagines what sort of persuasions his family and the elders might have used.
"Did they tell you we would not help the Wens if you refused to stay at my side until the children hatch?"
Wei Ying takes a faltering step toward the bed. He shakes his head, wide eyed.
"No. Lan Zhan, they didn't say that."
"But it was implied," LWJ says, his stomach sinking.
Wei Ying takes a faltering step toward the bed. He shakes his head, wide eyed.
"No. Lan Zhan, they didn't say that."
"But it was implied," LWJ says, his stomach sinking.
He understands what must have happened, and he's sick with horror.
Wei Ying holds up his hands placatingly, and stumbles toward the bed.
"No! Not really, anyway!"
His words provide no comfort. And Wei Ying must see that, because his face grows more agitated by the moment.
Wei Ying holds up his hands placatingly, and stumbles toward the bed.
"No! Not really, anyway!"
His words provide no comfort. And Wei Ying must see that, because his face grows more agitated by the moment.
He rakes his hands through his hair and looks away.
"Lan Zhan. They wanted me to come because they were worried about you. I knew they probably weren't going to take no for an answer. But I agreed!"
He adds the last three words hurriedly, waving his hands.
"Lan Zhan. They wanted me to come because they were worried about you. I knew they probably weren't going to take no for an answer. But I agreed!"
He adds the last three words hurriedly, waving his hands.
"I was worried too. They said you were sick and asking for me, and..."
Wei Ying's throat works. He swallows hard.
"And then I saw the babies. I saw how tired you were, trying to care for them all by yourself."
His hands hang loose at his side, fingers twitching restlessly.
Wei Ying's throat works. He swallows hard.
"And then I saw the babies. I saw how tired you were, trying to care for them all by yourself."
His hands hang loose at his side, fingers twitching restlessly.
His teeth - the cute rabbitlike teeth LWJ always secretly adored - dig into his lower lip.
"I don't...want anything to happen to you, or your babies. And I don't..."
Wei Ying is quiet for a moment. Then he forces a small, artificial smile.
"I don't...want anything to happen to you, or your babies. And I don't..."
Wei Ying is quiet for a moment. Then he forces a small, artificial smile.
"I don't mind helping out. It's not that. So don't feel so guilty, all right? Don't take it to heart."
LWJ shuts his eyes.
It is as he feared, then. The worst part is, he knows that Wei Ying means everything he says.
LWJ shuts his eyes.
It is as he feared, then. The worst part is, he knows that Wei Ying means everything he says.
Wei Ying would have worried if he heard any old friend was ill. He would have agreed to visit, to lift their spirits so they could fight their illness.
If he found them nesting, he would have tried to help. He would have fretted over the health and safety of the children.
If he found them nesting, he would have tried to help. He would have fretted over the health and safety of the children.
Wei Ying would have believed it was his duty to provide assistance.
And he would tell his friend not to feel guilty for needing his help. That is the sort of person Wei Ying is.
LWJ knew this already. It is a very large part of why he loves Wei Ying.
And he would tell his friend not to feel guilty for needing his help. That is the sort of person Wei Ying is.
LWJ knew this already. It is a very large part of why he loves Wei Ying.
But he has never wished more desperately that Wei Ying were different. That he were cruel and selfish, the sort of man who prioritized his own interests.
It takes a long time before LWJ can find his voice.
It takes a long time before LWJ can find his voice.
"If you wish to leave," he whispers, "you may. I will not keep you here by force."
Wei Ying is quiet, too.
"Your family wants me to stay," he mumbles, after an awkward pause.
LWJ's eyes fly open. He fixes Wei Ying with an intent stare.
Wei Ying is quiet, too.
"Your family wants me to stay," he mumbles, after an awkward pause.
LWJ's eyes fly open. He fixes Wei Ying with an intent stare.
"If you wish to leave, you may." LWJ emphasizes each word with as much force as his tired body can muster. "I will not allow them stop you."
Strangely, Wei Ying's mouth quirks. His face is still pale, but he takes another unsteady step toward the bed.
Strangely, Wei Ying's mouth quirks. His face is still pale, but he takes another unsteady step toward the bed.
"Ah. You're going to fight your whole family and all the elders, just for me?"
He sounds patient, tolerant, wry. He sounds as if he thinks LWJ is making a joke, or speaking from delirium.
"If necessary," LWJ says. "You are worth fighting for."
He sounds patient, tolerant, wry. He sounds as if he thinks LWJ is making a joke, or speaking from delirium.
"If necessary," LWJ says. "You are worth fighting for."
Wei Ying freezes, mid-step. His body goes rigid.
LWJ bites his own tongue, but he can't regret saying it. It's the truth, and Wei Ying should hear it.
Wei Ying swallows again, harder this time.
"Lan Zhan." His voice shakes, and his face is filled with a terrible strain.
LWJ bites his own tongue, but he can't regret saying it. It's the truth, and Wei Ying should hear it.
Wei Ying swallows again, harder this time.
"Lan Zhan." His voice shakes, and his face is filled with a terrible strain.
"Don't. You don't...have to say that now. You know that it's not true."
LWJ cannot lie on the bed and listen to this. He pushes himself upright, setting his eggs aside on a soft pillow.
"I know no such thing. Wei Ying."
LWJ cannot lie on the bed and listen to this. He pushes himself upright, setting his eggs aside on a soft pillow.
"I know no such thing. Wei Ying."
His hand stretches out, reaching for Wei Ying.
Then he remembers why that's wrong. LWJ withdraws his hand reluctantly. He knots his fingers in his lap so they can't betray him.
He tries to choose his words carefully.
Then he remembers why that's wrong. LWJ withdraws his hand reluctantly. He knots his fingers in his lap so they can't betray him.
He tries to choose his words carefully.
"Your worth does not lie in your golden core. Did you believe it did?"
He prays that Wei Ying will say: Yes, of course I know that my cultivation abilities aren't the best of me, or all that I have to offer the world. I know I am so much more than what my body can do for others.
He prays that Wei Ying will say: Yes, of course I know that my cultivation abilities aren't the best of me, or all that I have to offer the world. I know I am so much more than what my body can do for others.
But Wei Ying just stands there, silent and frozen. His expression is terribly blank. It's a long, long time before he speaks.
"We talked about all this already." His voice is halting. "I thought you understood. I don't..."
He falls silent again.
"We talked about all this already." His voice is halting. "I thought you understood. I don't..."
He falls silent again.
There is a terrible sort of strain around his eyes. LWJ would give anything to reach out and wipe it away.
"I don't have anything to offer anymore," Wei Ying finishes, very quietly.
And LWJ...
He temporarily loses control of himself.
"I don't have anything to offer anymore," Wei Ying finishes, very quietly.
And LWJ...
He temporarily loses control of himself.
He opens his mouth and words tumble out, hot and furious.
"That is not true."
He catches his breath. It burns all the way down his throat.
"I don't know how to make you understand. I did not grow to love you because of your abilities. I admired them. I admire them still."
"That is not true."
He catches his breath. It burns all the way down his throat.
"I don't know how to make you understand. I did not grow to love you because of your abilities. I admired them. I admire them still."
"But it was your...your character. Your demeanor. The way you treat others."
LWJ draws another desperate breath.
He could stop himself here. He could. But he's come too far. He knows he might as well say the rest.
"It was the way you made me feel," he whispers. "That's why."
LWJ draws another desperate breath.
He could stop himself here. He could. But he's come too far. He knows he might as well say the rest.
"It was the way you made me feel," he whispers. "That's why."
He never had a friend before Wei Ying. He never thought he wanted one, but he also never thought he COULD have one.
LWJ knows how the rest of the cultivation world sees him. He knows how his fellow disciples view him. He is not a person others enjoy spending time with.
LWJ knows how the rest of the cultivation world sees him. He knows how his fellow disciples view him. He is not a person others enjoy spending time with.
But Wei Ying...
He had seemed to find pleasure in LWJ's company. He seemed to think that LWJ was interesting, funny, enjoyable to be around. And he was so full of life. So anxious to help others and protect the weak.
He had seemed to find pleasure in LWJ's company. He seemed to think that LWJ was interesting, funny, enjoyable to be around. And he was so full of life. So anxious to help others and protect the weak.
He always reached out to anyone who seemed friendless.
LWJ couldn't help but love such a person. He couldn't help but feel a flutter in his stomach every time Wei Ying looked his way. He couldn't help but feel a burst of pride whenever Wei Ying stood up for what was right.
LWJ couldn't help but love such a person. He couldn't help but feel a flutter in his stomach every time Wei Ying looked his way. He couldn't help but feel a burst of pride whenever Wei Ying stood up for what was right.
He had tried not to love Wei Ying, once he understood that what he felt WAS love.
But he had failed. He couldn't stop loving Wei Ying...not even now, when his love was most likely just another burden Wei Ying felt obliged to carry.
But he had failed. He couldn't stop loving Wei Ying...not even now, when his love was most likely just another burden Wei Ying felt obliged to carry.
LWJ digs his nails into his bare thigh and tries to master himself.
"I don't ask you to return my feelings. But do not suggest that I don't understand what I'm saying."
Wei Ying stands there, stunned or transfixed.
"I don't ask you to return my feelings. But do not suggest that I don't understand what I'm saying."
Wei Ying stands there, stunned or transfixed.
"And do not suggest that I am only saying this because of the children," LWJ adds softly.
He can imagine what Wei Ying must think...what everyone except his brother and perhaps his uncle must think. They must believe he has latched onto Wei Ying out of instinct.
He can imagine what Wei Ying must think...what everyone except his brother and perhaps his uncle must think. They must believe he has latched onto Wei Ying out of instinct.
It is rare enough for dragons to bear their young without a mate. And the bond between mates is said to deepen during the nesting period.
Perhaps Wei Ying thinks that LWJ is simply desperate for a mate - any mate - and that his feelings for Wei Ying are transient and illusory.
Perhaps Wei Ying thinks that LWJ is simply desperate for a mate - any mate - and that his feelings for Wei Ying are transient and illusory.
Perhaps it would be kinder to let him believe that.
But lying is forbidden, after all. LWJ has broken many rules during the last few months, but he won't break this one.
He tries to meet Wei Ying's eyes steadily, so Wei Ying will know that he meant what he said.
But lying is forbidden, after all. LWJ has broken many rules during the last few months, but he won't break this one.
He tries to meet Wei Ying's eyes steadily, so Wei Ying will know that he meant what he said.
But LWJ can't manage it. The burst of madness and courage that allowed him to speak about his feelings fades.
He turns away, staring at his eggs in pained embarrassment.
Wei Ying says nothing for a long time. Then, slowly, he edges one step closer to the bed.
He turns away, staring at his eggs in pained embarrassment.
Wei Ying says nothing for a long time. Then, slowly, he edges one step closer to the bed.
He lets out a soft, wet laugh.
"Or else what? You'll hit me with a pillow?"
His voice isn't cruel or mocking. He's confused, embarrassed, overwhelmed. He is trying to lessen their mutual embarrassment by making a joke. LWJ understands this.
But he winces and draws himself up.
"Or else what? You'll hit me with a pillow?"
His voice isn't cruel or mocking. He's confused, embarrassed, overwhelmed. He is trying to lessen their mutual embarrassment by making a joke. LWJ understands this.
But he winces and draws himself up.
"There is no 'or else'. "
He meets Wei Ying's eyes then. He must not have any misunderstanding here. Wei Ying must not believe that there will be some sort of consequences - for himself, or for the Wens - if he displeases LWJ.
He meets Wei Ying's eyes then. He must not have any misunderstanding here. Wei Ying must not believe that there will be some sort of consequences - for himself, or for the Wens - if he displeases LWJ.
"But please don't dismiss what I've said. I don't ask you to return my feelings. I have no right to ask for that now. But please don't..."
His voice breaks and he turns away again, staring at the eggs through a blur of humiliated tears.
His voice breaks and he turns away again, staring at the eggs through a blur of humiliated tears.
Wei Ying shifts his weight. He shudders, makes an abortive move toward the bed. He stops and steps back. Then, very slowly, he moves forward.
He moves with great caution, as if he's approaching a wild animal. Perhaps that is what he thinks of LWJ, after his recent conduct.
He moves with great caution, as if he's approaching a wild animal. Perhaps that is what he thinks of LWJ, after his recent conduct.
It is not an unfair judgement.
But Wei Ying reaches his side, and his hand stretches out. It hovers over one of the eggs...hovers without touching.
LWJ tries to stamp out the tiny spark of hope in his chest. But he can't manage it.
"Lan Zhan," Wei Ying whispers.
But Wei Ying reaches his side, and his hand stretches out. It hovers over one of the eggs...hovers without touching.
LWJ tries to stamp out the tiny spark of hope in his chest. But he can't manage it.
"Lan Zhan," Wei Ying whispers.
His hand is just above Little Wave, and they can sense him. The egg wobbles and LWJ lifts it into his lap. He swallows three times before he can speak.
"Will you hold Little Wave?" He shifts the egg, tentatively extending it toward Wei Ying. "They like it when you hold them."
"Will you hold Little Wave?" He shifts the egg, tentatively extending it toward Wei Ying. "They like it when you hold them."
Wei Ying hesitates. His eyes are wet and his lips dry and slightly chapped. He keeps licking them, biting them in lieu of speaking.
But he settles a hand gingerly against Little Wave's shell. After a moment, he sits on the bed and eases Little Wave into his lap.
But he settles a hand gingerly against Little Wave's shell. After a moment, he sits on the bed and eases Little Wave into his lap.
"They don't know who I am," he mutters.
He gives a small pained smile as he says it. But he keeps patting the shell, tapping out a playful rhythm.
The egg rocks, and LWJ shakes his head.
"They do. Look."
Wei Ying does.
He gives a small pained smile as he says it. But he keeps patting the shell, tapping out a playful rhythm.
The egg rocks, and LWJ shakes his head.
"They do. Look."
Wei Ying does.
"When you tap their shell, they move."
Wei Ying gives a soft, strained laugh.
"They'd do that for anyone!" He rubs the shell, as if in apology. "They're just telling me to stop being so annoying, that's all."
But LWJ shakes his head again.
Wei Ying gives a soft, strained laugh.
"They'd do that for anyone!" He rubs the shell, as if in apology. "They're just telling me to stop being so annoying, that's all."
But LWJ shakes his head again.
"They respond to your voice. I can sense it. They recognize your voice. If they're sleeping and they hear you speak, they wake up to listen."
It's only the truth. They are his children, and LWJ knows them well.
It's only the truth. They are his children, and LWJ knows them well.
He can sense every tiny flicker in their energy, every small wriggle of their not-quite-developed bodies.
He can sense their hunger, their curiosity, their happiness when they know LWJ is nearby. He can sense, too, the way they respond to Wei Ying's touch and voice.
He can sense their hunger, their curiosity, their happiness when they know LWJ is nearby. He can sense, too, the way they respond to Wei Ying's touch and voice.
They know Wei Ying. They like him. They are playful with him, wriggling and squirming when he teases them.
Wei Ying ought to know this. If he doesn't, LWJ must tell him.
But Wei Ying's face crumples. He bows his head over Little Wave.
"I can't give them anything."
Wei Ying ought to know this. If he doesn't, LWJ must tell him.
But Wei Ying's face crumples. He bows his head over Little Wave.
"I can't give them anything."
Wei Ying's voice breaks on the last syllable.
LWJ would sacrifice his sword arm for the right to touch Wei Ying now, to try to comfort him. But he holds himself still.
"They do not love you for what you can give them," he breathes. "They aren't so selfish as that."
LWJ would sacrifice his sword arm for the right to touch Wei Ying now, to try to comfort him. But he holds himself still.
"They do not love you for what you can give them," he breathes. "They aren't so selfish as that."
He has been selfish, it's true. But he won't be selfish anymore. And he will raise his children to be unselfish, too.
He will not allow his children to join the crowds of people who only want to use Wei Ying, taking greedily with no respect for Wei Ying's happiness.
He will not allow his children to join the crowds of people who only want to use Wei Ying, taking greedily with no respect for Wei Ying's happiness.
They will love him, of course, if they are privileged enough to know him after the hatching. They won't be able to help it.
But they will love Wei Ying for who he is. Nothing more, nothing less.
Wei Ying starts to cry.
But they will love Wei Ying for who he is. Nothing more, nothing less.
Wei Ying starts to cry.
LWJ watches the tears spill over in miserable, agonized silence.
He watches Wei Ying weep, and this is his penance: watching the man he loves suffer, knowing he has forfeited the right to do anything about it.
He watches Wei Ying weep, and this is his penance: watching the man he loves suffer, knowing he has forfeited the right to do anything about it.
It's the cruelest thing LWJ can imagine, and so it must be a form of atonement.
LWJ holds the other eggs on his lap. Not too tight, but tightly enough that he can feel his children wiggling: alert and aware that something is happening in the strange world outside their shell.
LWJ holds the other eggs on his lap. Not too tight, but tightly enough that he can feel his children wiggling: alert and aware that something is happening in the strange world outside their shell.
Wei Ying swipes his sleeve over his eyes.
It doesn't help to stem the tears, but he doesn't seem to care. He shifts Little Wave onto the bedding and reaches for the others.
"Let me hold the others." His voice quivers, but he tries to smile.
It doesn't help to stem the tears, but he doesn't seem to care. He shifts Little Wave onto the bedding and reaches for the others.
"Let me hold the others." His voice quivers, but he tries to smile.
"I can't play favorites. It's bad! They'll get jealous and start to fight."
LWJ helps to shift the eggs around. He takes Little Wave back onto his own lap. Little Blue and Little Shimmer are tucked into Wei Ying's arms.
LWJ helps to shift the eggs around. He takes Little Wave back onto his own lap. Little Blue and Little Shimmer are tucked into Wei Ying's arms.
"My brother and I never fought," he murmurs. "The children won't need to fight either."
LWJ will make sure his children have enough love to share. He strokes Little Wave's shell as they continue to wiggle.
He expects WWX to smile or disagree.
LWJ will make sure his children have enough love to share. He strokes Little Wave's shell as they continue to wiggle.
He expects WWX to smile or disagree.
He expects to hear something about how Wei Ying and Jiang Wanyin always squabbled as children...how LWJ must not expect his children to always enjoy a tranquil relationship.
Yet Wei Ying goes very still. His eyes are shuttered and faraway.
Yet Wei Ying goes very still. His eyes are shuttered and faraway.
He cradles the eggs, but he doesn't really seem to see them. He sits in silence for a long time, the tears drying on his cheek.
LWJ waits, confused by this sudden shift in mood. He hardly dares to breathe. He's afraid he has somehow spoiled things again.
LWJ waits, confused by this sudden shift in mood. He hardly dares to breathe. He's afraid he has somehow spoiled things again.
Just as LWJ starts to wonder if he'll ever hear Wei Ying's voice again, he speaks. He sounds very hoarse.
"You love your brother."
LWJ nods dumbly.
"You'd do anything for him." Wei Ying's fingers trace aimless patterns over Little Blue's shell. His voice is soft, blank, empty.
"You love your brother."
LWJ nods dumbly.
"You'd do anything for him." Wei Ying's fingers trace aimless patterns over Little Blue's shell. His voice is soft, blank, empty.
"If something bad happened to him....you'd do anything to make it right."
Wei Ying's breath hitches. His lips work silently for a moment.
"You would do anything to give him back whatever he lost. If it cost you everything, it wouldn't matter."
Wei Ying's breath hitches. His lips work silently for a moment.
"You would do anything to give him back whatever he lost. If it cost you everything, it wouldn't matter."
"Because you love him that much, and you'd know it was the right thing to do."
"Yes."
LWJ whispers the word into the vacant silence after Wei Ying stops speaking. The silence is awful: aching, ringing, oppressive. LWJ's throat goes tight.
He knows what Wei YIng is saying.
"Yes."
LWJ whispers the word into the vacant silence after Wei Ying stops speaking. The silence is awful: aching, ringing, oppressive. LWJ's throat goes tight.
He knows what Wei YIng is saying.
He thinks he knows, anyway. But he doesn't want to know it. The situation is horrible enough without...this.
For just a heartbeat, LWJ wants to change the subject. Perhaps Wei Ying won't press the matter if LWJ doesn't.
...No, of course he won't.
For just a heartbeat, LWJ wants to change the subject. Perhaps Wei Ying won't press the matter if LWJ doesn't.
...No, of course he won't.
If LWJ refuses to seize upon this hint, to connect the puzzle pieces on his own, Wei Ying will stop talking. He will speak of something else, and he will never talk of this again.
But if that is true...then this is truly the only chance LWJ has.
But if that is true...then this is truly the only chance LWJ has.
It's his last chance to understand the truth of what has happened to Wei Ying.
LWJ's breaths come quick and sharp, his chest rising. He does not want to ask this question. But he forces the words out like shards of glass.
"Did the Wens..."
He can't say it.
LWJ's breaths come quick and sharp, his chest rising. He does not want to ask this question. But he forces the words out like shards of glass.
"Did the Wens..."
He can't say it.
He shuts his eyes, sucks in another breath, and tries again.
"Did they force you to choose between surrendering your own core, and allowing them to destroy Jiang Wanyin's?"
He can imagine it clearly. Wen Ruohan's sons were so very cruel.
"Did they force you to choose between surrendering your own core, and allowing them to destroy Jiang Wanyin's?"
He can imagine it clearly. Wen Ruohan's sons were so very cruel.
Wen Xu took such pleasure in breaking LWJ's leg before his uncle's eyes.
LWJ can just picture Wen Chao, his face alight with malice, telling Wei Ying he must choose between his own core and Jiang Wanyin's.
LWJ can just picture Wen Chao, his face alight with malice, telling Wei Ying he must choose between his own core and Jiang Wanyin's.
If LWJ could raise the man from the dead and murder him all over again, he would do it. But Wei Ying stares distantly at the eggs and shakes his head.
"Yes. No." His voice falters. "Not exactly."
LWJ waits, his heart in his throat.
"Yes. No." His voice falters. "Not exactly."
LWJ waits, his heart in his throat.
He waits for so long that he thinks Wei Ying will never speak. LWJ thinks this is all he will ever know of the matter.
But after a while, Wei Ying speaks again. His voice seems to come from far away.
"Jiang Cheng's core was already gone by the time I found him."
But after a while, Wei Ying speaks again. His voice seems to come from far away.
"Jiang Cheng's core was already gone by the time I found him."
He rubs the edges of his thumbnail across Little Blue's shell.
He explains it then, in a few painfully short sentences: what Wen Qing did to 'help'. He explains, and LWJ finally understands why WQ doesn't think she helped Wei Ying at all. Why she believes she made things worse.
He explains it then, in a few painfully short sentences: what Wen Qing did to 'help'. He explains, and LWJ finally understands why WQ doesn't think she helped Wei Ying at all. Why she believes she made things worse.
Bile burns its way up LWJ's throat.
He doesn't know which is worse: the story itself, or the way Wei Ying tells it. He sounds horribly, wretchedly blank. As if he's talking about something that happened to someone else.
"Did he ask you to do this?" LWJ asks lowly.
He doesn't know which is worse: the story itself, or the way Wei Ying tells it. He sounds horribly, wretchedly blank. As if he's talking about something that happened to someone else.
"Did he ask you to do this?" LWJ asks lowly.
He doesn't know what he will do if Wei Ying says yes.
He can't leave the nest and fly to Lotus Pier. But once the children are hatched, he could go. He could go and...
He doesn't know what he would do.
He can't leave the nest and fly to Lotus Pier. But once the children are hatched, he could go. He could go and...
He doesn't know what he would do.
Wei Ying has made a breathtaking, horrific sacrifice for Jiang Wanyin. He would not thank LWJ for invalidating that sacrifice by ripping Jiang Wanyin's beating heart from his chest.
But LWJ does not know what else he can do.
But LWJ does not know what else he can do.
If Jiang Wanyin asked his martial brother - his foster brother, the boy who was raised at his side - to make this sacrifice on his behalf...
Wei Ying's head snaps up.
"No." His voice sharpens, clears even as his face remains blank.
Wei Ying's head snaps up.
"No." His voice sharpens, clears even as his face remains blank.
"He doesn't know. I didn't tell him. I made him think Baoshan Sanren fixed him." He lurches forward. "Lan Zhan. You can't tell him. You can't."
LWJ lets out a shaky breath of...
He doesn't not know what he feels. Relief, perhaps. And yet, this is somehow worse.
LWJ lets out a shaky breath of...
He doesn't not know what he feels. Relief, perhaps. And yet, this is somehow worse.
If he could blame Jiang Wanyin, perhaps he would not feel so wretchedly helpless.
If Wei Ying was not compelled to do this - by Jiang Wanyin, by the Wens - then he has chosen it himself. He has chosen to carve himself to pieces for someone he loves.
If Wei Ying was not compelled to do this - by Jiang Wanyin, by the Wens - then he has chosen it himself. He has chosen to carve himself to pieces for someone he loves.
It speaks volumes about how little Wei Ying values himself.
LWJ is suddenly terrified that any outrage he might express will be taken as anger at Wei Ying himself, rather than anger at anyone who has made Wei Ying feel that his body and his life were worth so little.
LWJ is suddenly terrified that any outrage he might express will be taken as anger at Wei Ying himself, rather than anger at anyone who has made Wei Ying feel that his body and his life were worth so little.
"I will respect your wishes," LWJ whispers. "I give you my word."
He chooses his next phrases very carefully.
"Yet if my brother had made such a sacrifice for me...I would not wish to be kept ignorant."
He chooses his next phrases very carefully.
"Yet if my brother had made such a sacrifice for me...I would not wish to be kept ignorant."
He could not bear to go through life ignorant of such a debt.
And Jiang Wanyin...if he does not know about Wei Ying's core, then he does not know why Wei Ying has done any of this. He thinks Wei Ying has turned his back on the sect that raised him for no reason at all.
And Jiang Wanyin...if he does not know about Wei Ying's core, then he does not know why Wei Ying has done any of this. He thinks Wei Ying has turned his back on the sect that raised him for no reason at all.
He thinks his martial brother has abandoned him just as he assumed sect leadership. Wei Ying has lost him, and he has lost Wei Ying.
If Jiang Wanyin is worth anything at all, he would not have wished for this. He would have chosen Wei Ying above his own golden core.
If Jiang Wanyin is worth anything at all, he would not have wished for this. He would have chosen Wei Ying above his own golden core.
Wei Ying ought to know this. If possible, he ought to hear it from Jiang Wanyin's lips.
But Wei Ying jerks his head from side to side. He sets aside the eggs, shifting backward on the bed.
"You don't understand. You don't know him. If he knows, he'll..."
His voice shakes.
But Wei Ying jerks his head from side to side. He sets aside the eggs, shifting backward on the bed.
"You don't understand. You don't know him. If he knows, he'll..."
His voice shakes.
"It won't mean anything to him anymore. None of it. He'll just think...he always thought he wasn't good enough. If he knows he has a core because of me..."
LWJ does not understand. But he can hear the building panic in Wei Ying's voice, and he rushes to offer reassurance.
LWJ does not understand. But he can hear the building panic in Wei Ying's voice, and he rushes to offer reassurance.
"I will not tell. Wei Ying, I swear it. I will not tell anyone."
His fingers twitch against the bedding, but he doesn't let himself reach for Wei Ying.
Wei Ying gazes at him, his eyes red-rimmed and full of hideous doubt.
"Not even your family?"
LWJ bows his head.
His fingers twitch against the bedding, but he doesn't let himself reach for Wei Ying.
Wei Ying gazes at him, his eyes red-rimmed and full of hideous doubt.
"Not even your family?"
LWJ bows his head.
"I will tell no one, Wei Ying. I give you my word."
He stretches out his hand and touches Wei Ying's arm. He half-expects Wei Ying to recoil as if burned.
But Wei Ying's body just gives a terrible shudder. He sways forward, doubling over.
He stretches out his hand and touches Wei Ying's arm. He half-expects Wei Ying to recoil as if burned.
But Wei Ying's body just gives a terrible shudder. He sways forward, doubling over.
And LWJ doesn't know what to do except touch Wei Ying's cheek, his hair.
He guides Wei Ying's into his lap...slowly and tentatively. Every moment, he expects Wei Ying to pull away.
But Wei Ying shakes, and shakes, and shakes.
He guides Wei Ying's into his lap...slowly and tentatively. Every moment, he expects Wei Ying to pull away.
But Wei Ying shakes, and shakes, and shakes.
He shakes so hard, LWJ thinks the flesh will rattle right off his bones. But then Wei Ying goes limp, and he weeps brokenly into LWJ's lap.
LWJ winds his fingers into Wei Ying's hair and shuts his eyes. Tears burn behind his closed lids, but he doesn't let them fall.
LWJ winds his fingers into Wei Ying's hair and shuts his eyes. Tears burn behind his closed lids, but he doesn't let them fall.
He cards his fingers through Wei Ying's hair. He has never done this before, but it is something his mother used to do for him. He remembers this: kneeling and crying into her lap when the elders came to take him away at the end of each visit.
He remembers her gentle fingers, sifting through the strands and rubbing his scalp. He remembers that it made him feel loved. He hopes Wei Ying will feel loved, too.
He waits until Wei Ying's breathing hitches, stutters, evens out.
He waits until Wei Ying's breathing hitches, stutters, evens out.
"Would you return to Lotus Pier?" he whispers. "If it could be arranged? Would that make you happy?"
If Wei Ying says yes, then LWJ will do whatever is necessary. He will promise anything to anybody. He will sell his soul to some dark power.
If Wei Ying says yes, then LWJ will do whatever is necessary. He will promise anything to anybody. He will sell his soul to some dark power.
He will certainly kneel before Jiang Wanyin and beg him on Wei Ying's behalf.
But WWX shakes his head. He tries to rise up, scrubbing his sleeve over his face.
"It can't. I can't. Lan Zhan. That's not an option anymore."
LWJ bits his lip until he tastes blood.
But WWX shakes his head. He tries to rise up, scrubbing his sleeve over his face.
"It can't. I can't. Lan Zhan. That's not an option anymore."
LWJ bits his lip until he tastes blood.
"Will you...stay with the Wens? Will you stay near Cloud Recesses?"
It is enough, he tells himself. It is enough if Wei Ying remains nearby, near enough that LWJ can be assured of his safety.
But WWX lets out a rough laugh.
It is enough, he tells himself. It is enough if Wei Ying remains nearby, near enough that LWJ can be assured of his safety.
But WWX lets out a rough laugh.
"I'm staying IN Cloud Recesses. That was decided last night."
There is no bitterness in his voice, only a dull resignation. But LWJ fights down a surge of fury.
He will not have such things decided on Wei Ying's behalf, while LWJ cannot even advocate for him.
There is no bitterness in his voice, only a dull resignation. But LWJ fights down a surge of fury.
He will not have such things decided on Wei Ying's behalf, while LWJ cannot even advocate for him.
His mutinous anger must show on his face.
Wei Ying's mouth settles into a sad, crooked smile.
"It's all right. Your family was..." He stops and wipes his nose, edging backward slightly. "They didn't...take it how I expected. I guess they felt sorry for me."
Wei Ying's mouth settles into a sad, crooked smile.
"It's all right. Your family was..." He stops and wipes his nose, edging backward slightly. "They didn't...take it how I expected. I guess they felt sorry for me."
Wei Ying's eyes are still swollen with tears and his face is flushed. His hands flex on his lap.
LWJ reaches out and touches one, very gently. And Wei Ying does not push him away. His body quivers again.
"I thought if they knew, they'd lock me up."
LWJ reaches out and touches one, very gently. And Wei Ying does not push him away. His body quivers again.
"I thought if they knew, they'd lock me up."
"They would not," LWJ whispers.
But he does not know if that is true. It doesn't matter anyway, because...
"I would not allow it."
This, he says with full surety. This, he knows to be true. He knows it in his bones, in every beat of his heart.
But he does not know if that is true. It doesn't matter anyway, because...
"I would not allow it."
This, he says with full surety. This, he knows to be true. He knows it in his bones, in every beat of his heart.
Wei Ying gives a tight, flat smile. His tears have stopped, and LWJ can see that he is regaining his composure. His walls are coming up again.
But he hasn't taken away his hand yet. LWJ keeps his touch very gentle, afraid of what will happen if he uses too much pressure.
But he hasn't taken away his hand yet. LWJ keeps his touch very gentle, afraid of what will happen if he uses too much pressure.
"Well." Wei Ying clears his throat and wipes his nose again. "They didn't bring out the leg irons just yet. So at least I'll get to see the babies hatch."
LWJ clings to that, too: the implication that Wei Ying would LIKE to see the children hatched. But it is not enough.
LWJ clings to that, too: the implication that Wei Ying would LIKE to see the children hatched. But it is not enough.
He doesn't know what to do, how to help Wei Ying. He can think of only one person who might know.
"Have you...heard from Jiang Yanli?"
Wei Ying shrugs. He looks away. LWJ dares to clasp Wei Ying's hand between both of his.
"I had a letter. I didn't write back."
"Have you...heard from Jiang Yanli?"
Wei Ying shrugs. He looks away. LWJ dares to clasp Wei Ying's hand between both of his.
"I had a letter. I didn't write back."
LWJ starts to speak. Stops. Starts again.
"Write her now."
He gives Wei Ying's hand a tentative squeeze.
"Wei Ying. If she does not receive a response, she will worry. She is nesting too. She...she should not worry."
"Write her now."
He gives Wei Ying's hand a tentative squeeze.
"Wei Ying. If she does not receive a response, she will worry. She is nesting too. She...she should not worry."
It seems cruel to use Wei Ying's affection for others NOW...after everything LWJ has discovered. But LWJ does not know what other arguments to use. If Wei Ying will not do this for himself, perhaps he will do it for Jiang Yanli.
And if she can be brought back in contact with Wei Ying, perhaps she will know what can be done for HIM.
Wei Ying ducks his head. He sniffs again, wiping his nose a third time. Then he nods.
"Ah, all right. All right. I write her back today, I promise."
Wei Ying ducks his head. He sniffs again, wiping his nose a third time. Then he nods.
"Ah, all right. All right. I write her back today, I promise."
"I'll tell her I'm safe, and she doesn't need to worry."
LWJ bites his tongue again. He wonders if it would be very wrong to write to Jiang Yanli himself, and tell her that Wei Ying needs more help than he admits.
He will speak to Wen Qing later, he decides.
LWJ bites his tongue again. He wonders if it would be very wrong to write to Jiang Yanli himself, and tell her that Wei Ying needs more help than he admits.
He will speak to Wen Qing later, he decides.
He will ask her if it would be right to urge a visit, once Jiang Yanli has finished her hatching. He will ask her how much Jiang Yanli can safely be told, how she can be persuaded to reach out to Wei Ying.
He will not betray Wei Ying's confidence. He will not.
He will not betray Wei Ying's confidence. He will not.
But WQ is an elder sister herself. She will know how to communicate such things without breaking his promise to Wei Ying. She will know how to bring Jiang Yanli back into Wei Ying's life so she can help.
Wei Ying's right hand strays toward the eggs again. He licks his lips.
Wei Ying's right hand strays toward the eggs again. He licks his lips.
"Should I tell her? About your babies." His brow furrows. "I guess everybody will hear about it once they're hatched. Can she...can she know now?"
LWJ has not thought of this: the formal announcements that must be made to other sects. He finds he doesn't care one bit.
LWJ has not thought of this: the formal announcements that must be made to other sects. He finds he doesn't care one bit.
Wei Ying wants to tell her. LWJ can hear it in his voice. For whatever reason, he wants her to hear of the eggs. That is enough.
"Tell her." He presses Wei Ying's hand again. "Ask her not to discuss the matter with the Jins. But if she has advice, I would be glad to hear it."
"Tell her." He presses Wei Ying's hand again. "Ask her not to discuss the matter with the Jins. But if she has advice, I would be glad to hear it."
Wei Ying gives another lopsided smile. His eyes dart toward LWJ, then back to the eggs. He seems nervous, uncertain, uneasy.
But he still hasn't taken his hand away.
"She doesn't know anything about dragons," Wei Ying murmurs. "But she's good with kids. I'll ask."
But he still hasn't taken his hand away.
"She doesn't know anything about dragons," Wei Ying murmurs. "But she's good with kids. I'll ask."
Wei Ying's right hand lingers on Little Wave. His left hand remains folded within LWJ's. He seems...almost reluctant to draw away.
But he does, sliding his hands back and hiding them in his sleeves.
"Ah. I should go write the letter before I forget."
But he does, sliding his hands back and hiding them in his sleeves.
"Ah. I should go write the letter before I forget."
He rises to his feet, slow and shaky.
LWJ is suddenly, desperately tired. The heavy feeding he provided the eggs has begun to weigh on him. He hasn't the strength to follow Wei Ying to the desk, and he doesn't know if he would be welcome there anyway.
LWJ is suddenly, desperately tired. The heavy feeding he provided the eggs has begun to weigh on him. He hasn't the strength to follow Wei Ying to the desk, and he doesn't know if he would be welcome there anyway.
Perhaps Wei Ying wishes for solitude now...yet somehow, LWJ senses that he doesn't.
He doesn't know if it's pure intuition, or merely his own selfish hopes. But when Wei Ying turns away, LWJ reaches out and catches at his sleeve.
He doesn't know if it's pure intuition, or merely his own selfish hopes. But when Wei Ying turns away, LWJ reaches out and catches at his sleeve.
"Will you..." He pauses and swallows around a dry throat. "Will you please. Come back and sit with us when you have finished you letter."
He takes Wei Ying's hand, presses it briefly to the eggs.
"But...only if you like."
He takes Wei Ying's hand, presses it briefly to the eggs.
"But...only if you like."
He must add that. He must give Wei Ying a way out, if he desires one.
Wei Ying gives a hoarse laugh. For a moment, he hides his face in his sleeve like a child.
"'If I like,'" he echoes.
His hand smooths over the eggs.
Wei Ying gives a hoarse laugh. For a moment, he hides his face in his sleeve like a child.
"'If I like,'" he echoes.
His hand smooths over the eggs.
Then it strokes over LWJ's hand.
And then...
Then Wei Ying lifts his hand, presses his thumb very briefly to the center of LWJ's bare forehead. It lingers there, his touch burning like a brand.
And then...
Then Wei Ying lifts his hand, presses his thumb very briefly to the center of LWJ's bare forehead. It lingers there, his touch burning like a brand.
LWJ cannot breathe.
He hasn't worn his forehead ribbon in weeks, not since the eggs came. There was no sense in it. He had no use for self-restraint while trying to hatch his eggs.
But he has not been touched here since he was a very young child.
He hasn't worn his forehead ribbon in weeks, not since the eggs came. There was no sense in it. He had no use for self-restraint while trying to hatch his eggs.
But he has not been touched here since he was a very young child.
Since the days before he received his ribbon.
It's unspeakably intimate. Somehow, LWJ thinks it would feel less intimate to stand naked before Wei Ying than to have him touch the place where the forehead ribbon should rest.
"'If I like'! Lan Zhan. You're so funny."
It's unspeakably intimate. Somehow, LWJ thinks it would feel less intimate to stand naked before Wei Ying than to have him touch the place where the forehead ribbon should rest.
"'If I like'! Lan Zhan. You're so funny."
Wei Ying's voice is very soft. LWJ can hardly make out the words.
But he does, and his heart jumps in his chest.
Then Wei Ying turns away and hurries over to the desk.
LWJ lies against the bedding, his muscles shaking and his skin on fire.
But he does, and his heart jumps in his chest.
Then Wei Ying turns away and hurries over to the desk.
LWJ lies against the bedding, his muscles shaking and his skin on fire.
(Me: I'm not going to do the Big Bang. I don't want to commit to writing anything long just now. I don't feeling like writing another 50k+ monster.
Also me: *threadfics a novella*)
Also me: *threadfics a novella*)
(Next up: Soft Times In the Nest, with Bonus A-Yuan! WQ continues to use her braincells for everyone's best interests, and she is entitled to financial compensation! Seriously! Can someone buy this bitch a drink!!
Next bit should be up by Saturday night/Sunday morning PST!)
Next bit should be up by Saturday night/Sunday morning PST!)
Looks like the thread got broken...
It's continued here!
It's continued here!
https://twitter.com/cicerfics/status/1427081791236722692
🐉🥚🥚🥚
Three days after everything happens - all the tears and the explanations - A-Yuan comes for another visit.
Third Aunt walks him up the mountain, because WQ still hasn't gone back to the settlement.
Three days after everything happens - all the tears and the explanations - A-Yuan comes for another visit.
Third Aunt walks him up the mountain, because WQ still hasn't gone back to the settlement.
She says she'll go back when everything is "sorted out". WWX still hasn't worked up enough nerve to ask what THAT means.
But she's happy to see A-Yuan, and so is WWX.
A-Yuan flings his arms around WWX's knees. He bounces in place as WWX musses his hair.
But she's happy to see A-Yuan, and so is WWX.
A-Yuan flings his arms around WWX's knees. He bounces in place as WWX musses his hair.
He even lets WQ strip off his coat and muddy shoes.
But they have clearly been replaced in A-Yuan's heart. As soon as A-Yuan gives them a hug, he charges into the bedroom. He's already shouting for 'Dragon-gege' and the eggs.
But they have clearly been replaced in A-Yuan's heart. As soon as A-Yuan gives them a hug, he charges into the bedroom. He's already shouting for 'Dragon-gege' and the eggs.
WWX lets him go.
Lan Zhan is awake, and he calls out a soft response. From the doorway, WWX can see Lan Zhan stretch out a long, capable arm. He gathers A-Yuan to the bed, guiding his eager hands toward the eggs.
Lan Zhan is awake, and he calls out a soft response. From the doorway, WWX can see Lan Zhan stretch out a long, capable arm. He gathers A-Yuan to the bed, guiding his eager hands toward the eggs.
Something inside WWX's chest catches, like a knife has slipped between his ribs. He doesn't know whether watching Lan Zhan with little ones brings more pleasure or pain.
A-Yuan crowds up on tiptoes, talking hard and fast. Lan Zhan's hand rests fondly on his small shoulder.
A-Yuan crowds up on tiptoes, talking hard and fast. Lan Zhan's hand rests fondly on his small shoulder.
But WWX doesn't have much time to torment himself with this image. WQ tugs on his sleeve and guides him into the adjoining study. WWX follows docilely.
He doesn't see much point in being difficult anymore.
He doesn't see much point in being difficult anymore.
Back when everyone was angry with him, it wasn't hard to dig in his heels and stubbornly refuse help
It's a lot harder now. LXC's voice is very soft when he begs to be allowed to continued playing Cleansing. Even LQR can't seem to muster up harsh word for WWX.
It's a lot harder now. LXC's voice is very soft when he begs to be allowed to continued playing Cleansing. Even LQR can't seem to muster up harsh word for WWX.
As for WQ, all she has to do is cast a meaningful glance in Lan Zhan's direction. WWX instantly wilts and accepts whatever treatment she wants to administer.
Wei Ying has received enough medicine in the last few days to take down a wild horse.
Wei Ying has received enough medicine in the last few days to take down a wild horse.
He's had a dozen different teas and tinctures. WQ has taken full advantage of her newfound access to the Lan storehouse and the physicians' supplies.
Meanwhile, LXC has played Cleansing for WWX three times a day. The melody has started ringing in his ears.
Meanwhile, LXC has played Cleansing for WWX three times a day. The melody has started ringing in his ears.
And this morning, there was meat on his breakfast tray!
Wei Ying stared at in bafflement, not even daring to touch it. But WQ told him it was supposed to be there. She said that LQR had sent for an entire butchered hog from Caiyi Town.
Wei Ying stared at in bafflement, not even daring to touch it. But WQ told him it was supposed to be there. She said that LQR had sent for an entire butchered hog from Caiyi Town.
Just in case WWX needed meat to rebuild his strength!
If he isn't getting better, it certainly isn't for lack of people trying to heal him.
But he is getting better. WQ says so, anyway. She says he's gained some weight.
If he isn't getting better, it certainly isn't for lack of people trying to heal him.
But he is getting better. WQ says so, anyway. She says he's gained some weight.
Between the teas and acupuncture, WWX sometimes manages to sleep for four hours at a stretch before nightmares wake him. That's new.
And the seething mess inside him feels...not quite so close to the surface. The rage doesn't flare up as easily.
And the seething mess inside him feels...not quite so close to the surface. The rage doesn't flare up as easily.
His heart doesn't thunder inside his chest every moment of the day.
WWX hadn't realized how familiar it had become: the restlessness, the surging anger, the bitter resentment leeching through his blood. Now that is has started to fade, he's finally aware of it.
WWX hadn't realized how familiar it had become: the restlessness, the surging anger, the bitter resentment leeching through his blood. Now that is has started to fade, he's finally aware of it.
It's like someone pulled a rotten tooth and he can still feel a phantom ache in his jaw.
WQ says that's a good thing.
"You're recovering," she says.
She crouches beside WWX as he shuffles his body back into his robes.
WQ says that's a good thing.
"You're recovering," she says.
She crouches beside WWX as he shuffles his body back into his robes.
"I know it probably doesn't FEEL any better. But you're healthier than you were a month ago. A lot healthier."
WWX nods, suddenly weary.
It's almost harder to bear: this constant outpouring of sympathy, and the way nobody seems willing to get angry at him anymore.
WWX nods, suddenly weary.
It's almost harder to bear: this constant outpouring of sympathy, and the way nobody seems willing to get angry at him anymore.
He hadn't bargained on that, and it's wearing on his nerves.
"If you can just continue like this," she begins.
Then she stops.
WWX averts his eyes, staring out the window.
If he can just continue like this...
Well. That seems to be what everyone's hoping for.
"If you can just continue like this," she begins.
Then she stops.
WWX averts his eyes, staring out the window.
If he can just continue like this...
Well. That seems to be what everyone's hoping for.
Everyone's hoping he can set aside his wicked tricks and his blasphemous tools. They're hoping that he can continue just like he has for the last couple weeks.
Even since he arrived in Cloud Recesses, he's been...
Not quite whole, maybe. But not a danger to anyone else, either.
Even since he arrived in Cloud Recesses, he's been...
Not quite whole, maybe. But not a danger to anyone else, either.
WWX doesn't know if he can continue like this, though.
It's not so bad, of course. It's a lot better than it was at the Burial Mounds. The Wens are safe, and that's a load off his mind.
There's no more constant hunger gnawing at his belly.
It's not so bad, of course. It's a lot better than it was at the Burial Mounds. The Wens are safe, and that's a load off his mind.
There's no more constant hunger gnawing at his belly.
No more burning eyes and blurred vision, after nightmares won't let him sleep for days.
He's surrounded by every physical comfort: food, firewood, a decent bed. And he's had something to think of. He's had something to put his energy toward: Lan Zhan, the babies, the hatching.
He's surrounded by every physical comfort: food, firewood, a decent bed. And he's had something to think of. He's had something to put his energy toward: Lan Zhan, the babies, the hatching.
It's not so bad. It wasn't bad at all, at first.
But now that everyone knows the truth about his core, WWX feels like he's clomping around on rotten ice. The ground seems ready to give way at any minute.
And he's started to think about the long term.
But now that everyone knows the truth about his core, WWX feels like he's clomping around on rotten ice. The ground seems ready to give way at any minute.
And he's started to think about the long term.
For a while, he'd nearly forgotten about the Jins. Lan Zhan and the babies blotted out every other consideration.
But if WWX is going to stay in CR for a while...
The Jins will have some opinions about that. Sooner or later, somebody will insist that WWX show his face.
But if WWX is going to stay in CR for a while...
The Jins will have some opinions about that. Sooner or later, somebody will insist that WWX show his face.
They'll want him to account for his behavior, and maybe even turn over the Stygian Tiger Seal.
That's almost enough to bring the maddening rage back. Resentful energy wants to crowd in, to swirl around his hands. But WWX doesn't let it.
It's easier to beat it back these days.
That's almost enough to bring the maddening rage back. Resentful energy wants to crowd in, to swirl around his hands. But WWX doesn't let it.
It's easier to beat it back these days.
Cleansing does help, and WWX is almost bitter about that. He ties up his robes grimly.
WQ touches his arm. Then she turns away to fix another of the endless cups of tea.
There's tea for sleeplessness. Tea for calming raw nerves. Tea for building up his muscles.
WQ touches his arm. Then she turns away to fix another of the endless cups of tea.
There's tea for sleeplessness. Tea for calming raw nerves. Tea for building up his muscles.
WWX is DROWNING in medicinal teas.
But he doesn't complain. WQ is certainly doing all she can for him, and WWX can't begrudge her for not doing more.
Neither of them have much hope that LQR will find anything in the Lan records, even if he keeps scouring and searching.
But he doesn't complain. WQ is certainly doing all she can for him, and WWX can't begrudge her for not doing more.
Neither of them have much hope that LQR will find anything in the Lan records, even if he keeps scouring and searching.
'If you can just continue like this...'
He'll HAVE to continue like this. Nothing is likely to change or improve. So he'll have to continue like this.
WQ will keep his body healthy for as long as she can, until he gets old or sick enough that medicine doesn't help anymore.
He'll HAVE to continue like this. Nothing is likely to change or improve. So he'll have to continue like this.
WQ will keep his body healthy for as long as she can, until he gets old or sick enough that medicine doesn't help anymore.
It's strange to think of that.
Even after months without a core, WWX can't quite wrap his mind around it: continuing on, until his coreless body can't continue anymore.
WQ sets a cup of tea before him. It's red this time, and terribly sour.
Even after months without a core, WWX can't quite wrap his mind around it: continuing on, until his coreless body can't continue anymore.
WQ sets a cup of tea before him. It's red this time, and terribly sour.
WWX gulps it down. He doesn't bother to ask what it's for.
WQ seats herself beside him. She fills a pair of empty cups with hot water.
"Apparently," she remarks, "A-Yuan spent every minute of the last three days telling the whole family about the eggs."
WQ seats herself beside him. She fills a pair of empty cups with hot water.
"Apparently," she remarks, "A-Yuan spent every minute of the last three days telling the whole family about the eggs."
She inclines her head toward the bedroom.
WWX can hear A-Yuan's voice echoing into the hall. He's being much too loud for CR, but Lan Zhan doesn't seem to willing to hush him up.
WWX's heart gives another little stutter. He can picture it so clearly: A-Yuan, chattering away.
WWX can hear A-Yuan's voice echoing into the hall. He's being much too loud for CR, but Lan Zhan doesn't seem to willing to hush him up.
WWX's heart gives another little stutter. He can picture it so clearly: A-Yuan, chattering away.
Lan Zhan, listening in patient silence, as he helps A-Yuan inspect the eggs.
"I hope Hanguang-Jun wasn't trying to keep his children a secret," WQ adds wryly. "Everyone at the settlement knows all about the eggs. And they're all pretty worked up over the situation."
"I hope Hanguang-Jun wasn't trying to keep his children a secret," WQ adds wryly. "Everyone at the settlement knows all about the eggs. And they're all pretty worked up over the situation."
WWX lifts his eyes in surprise.
"Eh? Why? It doesn't really have anything to do with them."
"Idiot," WQ sighs. "Obviously, they think the eggs are yours."
Of course, she says it just as WWX has taken a mouthful of water. And of course, he chokes.
"Eh? Why? It doesn't really have anything to do with them."
"Idiot," WQ sighs. "Obviously, they think the eggs are yours."
Of course, she says it just as WWX has taken a mouthful of water. And of course, he chokes.
It's...not an unreasonable assumption. He knows that. Half the Lans must have drawn similar conclusions.
Even LXC and LQR, who ought to know better, still seem to...expect something.
After all, there was that awful conversation with LQR when WWX first arrived.
Even LXC and LQR, who ought to know better, still seem to...expect something.
After all, there was that awful conversation with LQR when WWX first arrived.
He had demanded to know if WWX had eloped with Lan Zhan.
And now, with the benefit of hindsight, WWX understands the hints LXC had given him. He made lots of little references to weddings. They had flown over WWX's head entirely.
And now, with the benefit of hindsight, WWX understands the hints LXC had given him. He made lots of little references to weddings. They had flown over WWX's head entirely.
If Lan Zhan's own brother thought there was something going on...
Well, WWX can't really blame the Wens. But he still spends a few minutes coughing up hot water while WQ watches dispassionately.
Well, WWX can't really blame the Wens. But he still spends a few minutes coughing up hot water while WQ watches dispassionately.
"Granny's excited," she says dryly. "She thinks you should settle down. And now she's figured out that the Lans decided to help us because their second young master is passionately in love with you. So everything makes sense to her now."
WWX's mouth drops open.
WWX's mouth drops open.
"Well," he stutters. "I hope you set her straight!"
His heartrate, soothed into complacency by the teas and the cleansing music, ratchets up again. It does that every time someone mentions Lan Zhan, or makes WWX think about...
About.
The things.
That Lan Zhan said.
His heartrate, soothed into complacency by the teas and the cleansing music, ratchets up again. It does that every time someone mentions Lan Zhan, or makes WWX think about...
About.
The things.
That Lan Zhan said.
It still feels like a fever dream. WWX can't take it all in. He thinks WQ should sympathize with him a little more!
But whenever WWX winces at the sound of Lan Zhan's name, she just stares at him and sighs.
"Oh? You want me to go back and tell my grandmother she's wrong?"
But whenever WWX winces at the sound of Lan Zhan's name, she just stares at him and sighs.
"Oh? You want me to go back and tell my grandmother she's wrong?"
WQ rocks forward. Skepticism is etched in every line of her face.
WWX thinks that's a little unfair. He averts his eyes.
"I should LIE to my own grandmother?" WQ presses. "Or I should tell her that Hanguang-Jun has proposed to you at least twice, but you said no?"
WWX thinks that's a little unfair. He averts his eyes.
"I should LIE to my own grandmother?" WQ presses. "Or I should tell her that Hanguang-Jun has proposed to you at least twice, but you said no?"
She sits back.
"If you want me to tell her that, I will. But she'll probably hike up here herself to ask you what on earth you're thinking, so-"
WWX can't let her finish that sentence. He thumps his cup down on the table, choking on air.
"If you want me to tell her that, I will. But she'll probably hike up here herself to ask you what on earth you're thinking, so-"
WWX can't let her finish that sentence. He thumps his cup down on the table, choking on air.
"That's not...!" He gropes for words. His face is burning. "He didn't propose twice!"
He means to sound brisk, dismissive. Maybe even a bit commanding. Instead, his voice squeaks like a rusty hinge.
He can't talk about this with WQ, or with anyone.
He means to sound brisk, dismissive. Maybe even a bit commanding. Instead, his voice squeaks like a rusty hinge.
He can't talk about this with WQ, or with anyone.
He can't talk about what Lan Zhan said.
WWX can't even confront it within the privacy of his own mind. He keeps edging around the memory like it's a wild tiger. He keeps his eyes averted, as that's the only way to keep the memory from pouncing and devouring him alive.
WWX can't even confront it within the privacy of his own mind. He keeps edging around the memory like it's a wild tiger. He keeps his eyes averted, as that's the only way to keep the memory from pouncing and devouring him alive.
WQ doesn't make it easy, though. She surveys him thoughtfully, her brows lifting.
"Really?" She takes delicate sip from her cup. "I expected him to ask you again, after he woke up the next morning."
"He didn't." WWX throws as much decisiveness into his voice as he can.
"Really?" She takes delicate sip from her cup. "I expected him to ask you again, after he woke up the next morning."
"He didn't." WWX throws as much decisiveness into his voice as he can.
WQ purses her lips.
"Did he say something about his undying love?" She tilts her head. "Maybe something about how his feelings for you would never change, even if you didn't like him back?"
WWX's mouth drops open.
"Did he say something about his undying love?" She tilts her head. "Maybe something about how his feelings for you would never change, even if you didn't like him back?"
WWX's mouth drops open.
He wants to say something to remove that knowing look from her eyes. But the words stick in his throat.
He's been...trying to forget all the things Lan Zhan said. They're better forgotten. They don't make any sense anyway. None of it makes sense.
He's been...trying to forget all the things Lan Zhan said. They're better forgotten. They don't make any sense anyway. None of it makes sense.
Not the part where Lan Zhan proposed before he knew the truth. Certainly not the part AFTER he knew, when he said...
When he said...things.
About loving WWX.
How he said them even after he knew, even after he KNEW that WWX couldn't be the sort of husband Lan Zhan deserved.
When he said...things.
About loving WWX.
How he said them even after he knew, even after he KNEW that WWX couldn't be the sort of husband Lan Zhan deserved.
WWX still doesn't know what to do with that, so he's closed his eyes to all of it.
He's hoping - grimly, joylessly hoping - that Lan Zhan will take it back. Maybe once the babies hatch, he'll take it all back.
But he hasn't taken it back yet, so WWX doesn't have a rebuttal.
He's hoping - grimly, joylessly hoping - that Lan Zhan will take it back. Maybe once the babies hatch, he'll take it all back.
But he hasn't taken it back yet, so WWX doesn't have a rebuttal.
WQ lets out a very long sigh. She rubs the bridge of her nose.
"That's what I thought." She fixes him with a hard stare. "That qualifies as a second proposal, you dummy."
WWX recoils into himself, scratching at his knee. He stares down at his cup.
"That's what I thought." She fixes him with a hard stare. "That qualifies as a second proposal, you dummy."
WWX recoils into himself, scratching at his knee. He stares down at his cup.
He can feel WQ staring at him. But he hopes that if he doesn't look at her, she'll let the topic drop.
She doesn't, of course.
"Are you going to say something ridiculous now?" She reaches across the table to prod at his arm.
She doesn't, of course.
"Are you going to say something ridiculous now?" She reaches across the table to prod at his arm.
"Are you going to lie to me and claim that you don't actually like him back? That you don't actually want to marry him? I'll hit you if you do!"
WWX lifts his eyes from his cup, just long enough to give her a sour look.
"I'm supposed to be here for healing!"
WWX lifts his eyes from his cup, just long enough to give her a sour look.
"I'm supposed to be here for healing!"
WQ gives an unrepentant shrug.
"I'll heal your bruises after I make them," she offers. "That counts as healing."
It probably does, in her mind. WWX ought to be able to find a counterargument, but his throat is locking up.
"I'll heal your bruises after I make them," she offers. "That counts as healing."
It probably does, in her mind. WWX ought to be able to find a counterargument, but his throat is locking up.
He's been doing pretty well, he thinks. He hasn't burst into tears since that first conversation with Lan Zhan. He's been eating his food and drinking his medicinal teas.
He's doing a good job of acting like someone who is, more or less, sane.
He's doing a good job of acting like someone who is, more or less, sane.
Nobody has thrown him in chains or locked him up in the back hills.
And as far as WWX can tell, nobody has written to Shijie or JC to tell them about his core. Everything is going much better than WWX had any right to hope.
And as far as WWX can tell, nobody has written to Shijie or JC to tell them about his core. Everything is going much better than WWX had any right to hope.
But he can only keep his composure if doesn't think about...
Anything, really.
He can't think about the things that happened during the war. Or Lan Zhan begging, with tears in his eyes, to be allowed to love WWX. Or Lan Zhan's fingers in his hair while WWX sobbed into his lap.
Anything, really.
He can't think about the things that happened during the war. Or Lan Zhan begging, with tears in his eyes, to be allowed to love WWX. Or Lan Zhan's fingers in his hair while WWX sobbed into his lap.
He can't think about the eggs, wriggling in his hands, as Lan Zhan told him the babies would love him even if he couldn't feed them.
WWX can't think about that stuff without his eyes burning and his throat closing. He clamps his jaws together.
WWX can't think about that stuff without his eyes burning and his throat closing. He clamps his jaws together.
He stares out the window, willing himself not to cry.
WQ nudges him with her foot.
"I notice you haven't asked for my advice." She taps a finger against the table. "If you think that means I won't give you any, you're mistaken."
WQ nudges him with her foot.
"I notice you haven't asked for my advice." She taps a finger against the table. "If you think that means I won't give you any, you're mistaken."
WWX keeps his eyes pointed toward the window. But he listens, in spite of himself.
WQ speaks slowly, with deliberate emphasis.
"You should marry him."
WWX's eyes dart toward her face. She holds up a hand, as if she expects him to interrupt.
WQ speaks slowly, with deliberate emphasis.
"You should marry him."
WWX's eyes dart toward her face. She holds up a hand, as if she expects him to interrupt.
"Not for us. Not because I'm worried that Lans might take back their offer of protection if you don't. Not for any kind of political reasons."
She leans forward.
"You should marry him because he's obviously in love with you, and you're obviously in love with him."
She leans forward.
"You should marry him because he's obviously in love with you, and you're obviously in love with him."
"If you're both in love, it's stupid not to marry. His family will allow it."
WWX clenches his jaw so hard that he's fairly sure he hears one of his teeth crack.
"They won't agree," he whispers.
WWX clenches his jaw so hard that he's fairly sure he hears one of his teeth crack.
"They won't agree," he whispers.
There's no point arguing with anything else. She already said she wouldn't believe him if he claimed he wasn't in love with Lan Zhan. And WWX doesn't want to lie to her about that, anyway.
And he can't lie and say that Lan Zhan didn't claim to be in love with WWX.
And he can't lie and say that Lan Zhan didn't claim to be in love with WWX.
Because he did that.
He really...did that.
It still hasn't sunk in, but Lan Zhan said it.
But this? WWX can argue about this. If WQ thinks the Lans will agree to a marriage, she must be crazy.
WQ merely rolls her eyes.
He really...did that.
It still hasn't sunk in, but Lan Zhan said it.
But this? WWX can argue about this. If WQ thinks the Lans will agree to a marriage, she must be crazy.
WQ merely rolls her eyes.
"Why do you think they're so desperate to help you build a life here?"
She jerks her chin in the general direction of the library.
"Grandmaster Lan has broken curfew every night for the last three nights, scouring the library."
She jerks her chin in the general direction of the library.
"Grandmaster Lan has broken curfew every night for the last three nights, scouring the library."
"Sect Leader Lan keeps talking you on those ridiculous walks, so he can tell you all about the Lan sect history and customs. What did you THINK that was all about?"
WWX tears his eyes away from her again.
WWX tears his eyes away from her again.
"They know you're going to wind up marrying him, whether they like it or not," WQ continues mercilessly. "So they're trying to keep you healthy. They're trying to integrate you into the sect."
She pauses. In a softened tone, she adds, "They're trying to make the best of it."
She pauses. In a softened tone, she adds, "They're trying to make the best of it."
WWX's throat aches.
It's ridiculous. It's insane. But...he sort of thinks she might be right.
He knows LQR has been diligently searching through every single document in the library. And yes, LXC has been having a lot of strange little talks with WWX.
It's ridiculous. It's insane. But...he sort of thinks she might be right.
He knows LQR has been diligently searching through every single document in the library. And yes, LXC has been having a lot of strange little talks with WWX.
WWX has learned a lot of things about the Lan sect and dragon hatchlings.
By now, he knows what will happen during the hatching. He knows when the babies will learn to shift, when they'll get their swords, what sort of education they'll receive.
By now, he knows what will happen during the hatching. He knows when the babies will learn to shift, when they'll get their swords, what sort of education they'll receive.
He knows how they'll be brought up.
He's learned a lot about Lan marriage customs, too. LXC made some very pointed references to that.
He said that dragons seldom take more than one mate during their lifetime. In fact, it's practically unheard of.
He's learned a lot about Lan marriage customs, too. LXC made some very pointed references to that.
He said that dragons seldom take more than one mate during their lifetime. In fact, it's practically unheard of.
They tend to choose their mates young, he said. And they commit to their chosen mate forever, no matter what.
He mentioned some things about his own parents, too. His parents, and Lan Zhan's parents. It wasn't a very good marriage, apparently.
He mentioned some things about his own parents, too. His parents, and Lan Zhan's parents. It wasn't a very good marriage, apparently.
Lan Zhan's mom was accused of doing some terrible things, and the whole cultivation world turned its back on her.
But Lan Zhan always loved his mother very much, LXC said. He was always very upset about her fate. So he promised himself he'd never do what his father did.
But Lan Zhan always loved his mother very much, LXC said. He was always very upset about her fate. So he promised himself he'd never do what his father did.
He promised he'd never compel someone to marry him. Never lock them up, or make them a prisoner
LXC added a few well-chosen words there: how he was sure his brother would keep that vow, and always treat his spouse with the utmost love and respect.
LXC added a few well-chosen words there: how he was sure his brother would keep that vow, and always treat his spouse with the utmost love and respect.
How he was sure Lan Zhan would always protect his chosen person's freedom.
Much as he wanted to play dumb - much as he TRIED to play dumb - WWX couldn't pretend that insinuation had flown over his head.
So maybe LXC and LQR weren't quite as opposed as WWX might have expected.
Much as he wanted to play dumb - much as he TRIED to play dumb - WWX couldn't pretend that insinuation had flown over his head.
So maybe LXC and LQR weren't quite as opposed as WWX might have expected.
But the elders were bound to object. Everyone else in the cultivation world would make a fuss, too. It would ruin Lan Zhan's reputation and spoil the babies' future.
And Lan Zhan would regret it then, even if he didn't think he'd regret it now.
And Lan Zhan would regret it then, even if he didn't think he'd regret it now.
WQ surveys, a slight furrow between her brows.
"Humor me," she begins. "Supposed he asked you to marry him two years ago."
WWX's hands curl into fists.
"He wouldn't," he says automatically.
WQ sighs and looks put-upon.
"Humor me," she begins. "Supposed he asked you to marry him two years ago."
WWX's hands curl into fists.
"He wouldn't," he says automatically.
WQ sighs and looks put-upon.
"I said, humor me! Suppose he did. Suppose, right before the war, he told you he loved you and wanted to marry you."
WWX shuts his eyes. He tries to 'suppose' it, but he can't.
"Suppose you accepted," WQ presses on.
WWX shuts his eyes. He tries to 'suppose' it, but he can't.
"Suppose you accepted," WQ presses on.
"Now suppose he told you that he knew his family wouldn't be happy with him. But he wanted to elope with you, because he wanted to marry you more than he wanted to please his family."
WWX squeezes his eyes shut tighter, blocking out every speck of light.
WWX squeezes his eyes shut tighter, blocking out every speck of light.
"Would you have done it then?" WQ demands. "Would you have married him? Or would you have decided you couldn't bear his family's disapproval, and told him no?"
There's a note of satisfaction in WQ's voice, like she thinks she's made an irrefutable argument.
There's a note of satisfaction in WQ's voice, like she thinks she's made an irrefutable argument.
But WWX feels winded. He doesn't even know how to respond.
He almost says: 'What a ridiculous question! Yes, of course I would have eloped with Lan Zhan if he wanted me. If I still had my core. If I were still first disciple of Lotus Pier.'
He almost says: 'What a ridiculous question! Yes, of course I would have eloped with Lan Zhan if he wanted me. If I still had my core. If I were still first disciple of Lotus Pier.'
'I'd run away with him and marry him, and try to be a good husband to him. If he wanted me, I wouldn't let that chance slip through my fingers!'
But the longer he thinks about it, the less sure he feels.
He wouldn't have wanted to get Lan Zhan into trouble with his family.
But the longer he thinks about it, the less sure he feels.
He wouldn't have wanted to get Lan Zhan into trouble with his family.
He wouldn't have wanted the Lans to get mad or disown Lan Zhan.
And...
And he would have been afraid. He would have thought Lan Zhan was making a mistake. That he'd regret it later on, once he realize how ridiculous it was to marry someone like WWX.
And...
And he would have been afraid. He would have thought Lan Zhan was making a mistake. That he'd regret it later on, once he realize how ridiculous it was to marry someone like WWX.
Maybe, given time, they could have fixed it up with the Lans.
Maybe it would have worked then: a marriage between the second young master of the Lan clan and the first disciple of the Jiang sect.
Maybe it would have worked then: a marriage between the second young master of the Lan clan and the first disciple of the Jiang sect.
If they could have managed it without getting Uncle and Madam Yu upset, or getting Lan Zhan in trouble...
If he could have kept Lan Zhan from regretting it...
If he could have made himself believe that Lan Zhan really WANTED to marry him, and it wasn't some terrible mistake...
If he could have kept Lan Zhan from regretting it...
If he could have made himself believe that Lan Zhan really WANTED to marry him, and it wasn't some terrible mistake...
"It's not the same thing," WWX mutters.
He drags his thoughts back to the present. It's no good thinking about what might have been.
He isn't first disciple anymore. He doesn't have a core. His reputation is in tatters.
He drags his thoughts back to the present. It's no good thinking about what might have been.
He isn't first disciple anymore. He doesn't have a core. His reputation is in tatters.
Uncle and Madam Yu can't be persuaded to agree to anything, or settle any marriage portion on him, because they're gone.
So if Lan Zhan proposed to him now, it isn't the same thing at all.
WQ scowls.
So if Lan Zhan proposed to him now, it isn't the same thing at all.
WQ scowls.
"I don't see why not. He's made it pretty clear he doesn't care that your circumstances have changed. So either you're holding out for everyone else's approval, or you're not."
She spreads her hands.
She spreads her hands.
"The rest of the world was always going to be scandalized by the marriage. Weren't they?"
WWX swallows hard.
Yes, he thinks that's probably true. Even before, even when he wasn't the Yiling Patriarch, he was still known as the son of a servant.
WWX swallows hard.
Yes, he thinks that's probably true. Even before, even when he wasn't the Yiling Patriarch, he was still known as the son of a servant.
People would have been scandalized if he ran off with Lan Zhan. There would have been lots of disapproval, no matter what.
"So what does it matter?" WQ tops up their cups with a little more hot water. "If people were always going to disapprove, what difference does it make?"
"So what does it matter?" WQ tops up their cups with a little more hot water. "If people were always going to disapprove, what difference does it make?"
"Lan Zhan deserves better."
WWX doesn't want to say it. But he grinds the words out, forcing them past his lips. It's true, and WQ ought to know it.
Lan Zhan deserves the best. He deserves a big glorious wedding, with everybody celebrating the brilliant match he's made.
WWX doesn't want to say it. But he grinds the words out, forcing them past his lips. It's true, and WQ ought to know it.
Lan Zhan deserves the best. He deserves a big glorious wedding, with everybody celebrating the brilliant match he's made.
He deserves a spouse who can offer everything: wealth, power, an unblemished reputation. Lan Zhan shouldn't have to compromise on any of it.
WQ studies him for a long moment. Then she sighs. She shifts closer, resting her hand on his arm.
WQ studies him for a long moment. Then she sighs. She shifts closer, resting her hand on his arm.
"If you love him," she murmurs, "then you should want him to be happy."
WWX stares fixedly at the table. He can't bring himself to meet her eyes.
"What if you're the only person who's going to make him happy?" She prods his arm.
WWX stares fixedly at the table. He can't bring himself to meet her eyes.
"What if you're the only person who's going to make him happy?" She prods his arm.
"Does he have to stay alone all his life, just because you think you're not good enough for him?"
WWX picks at the edge of his sleeve.
He doesn't even know what he's hoping for these days. Part of him is hoping that Lan Zhan will decide he doesn't like WWX that much after all.
WWX picks at the edge of his sleeve.
He doesn't even know what he's hoping for these days. Part of him is hoping that Lan Zhan will decide he doesn't like WWX that much after all.
Part of him is hoping that Lan Zhan will come to his senses, retract his proposals, and find somebody else to marry.
Or maybe Lan Zhan will decide he'd be happy alone. He wouldn't REALLY be alone, after all. Not with the babies. Maybe the babies are all he needs to be happy.
Or maybe Lan Zhan will decide he'd be happy alone. He wouldn't REALLY be alone, after all. Not with the babies. Maybe the babies are all he needs to be happy.
Maybe Lan Zhan just thinks he needs a mate now, while he's nesting. Maybe he'll change his mind.
WWX doesn't know what he'll do if Lan Zhan takes it all back. It would be the right thing, of course. It would be very smart and sensible. It would be best for Lan Zhan.
WWX doesn't know what he'll do if Lan Zhan takes it all back. It would be the right thing, of course. It would be very smart and sensible. It would be best for Lan Zhan.
But WWX feels like he'll crumble up and die if he has to watch Lan Zhan be happy with someone else.
He scratches his wrist restlessly.
He doesn't want to think about the other possibility WQ suggested: the one where he refuses Lan Zhan, and Lan Zhan never changes his mind.
He scratches his wrist restlessly.
He doesn't want to think about the other possibility WQ suggested: the one where he refuses Lan Zhan, and Lan Zhan never changes his mind.
The one where Lan Zhan is sad and lonely forever, all because WWX turned him away.
LXC seemed to think that was the most likely outcome. He told WWX all about his father's marriage, and how dragons usually stick with their choice forever. Then he gave WWX a long searching look
LXC seemed to think that was the most likely outcome. He told WWX all about his father's marriage, and how dragons usually stick with their choice forever. Then he gave WWX a long searching look
The silence was fraught with meaning.
WWX got the impression that LXC didn't think his brother would ever change his mind. But WWX doesn't know what to do with that information.
LXC can't be wrong. Lan Zhan is his little brother. LXC ought to know him better than anyone.
WWX got the impression that LXC didn't think his brother would ever change his mind. But WWX doesn't know what to do with that information.
LXC can't be wrong. Lan Zhan is his little brother. LXC ought to know him better than anyone.
But LXC can't be right, either. He can't be right that Lan Zhan picked WWX, out of everyone he could possibly choose. Out of everyone in the whole wide world.
He can't be right that Lan Zhan would stand by his choice forever, even if WWX never agrees to marry him.
He can't be right that Lan Zhan would stand by his choice forever, even if WWX never agrees to marry him.
WWX nearly chews his lower lip to shreds, trying to think it over.
WQ taps his arm again.
"You don't have to understand why he picked you." Her voice is very soft. "You don't have to agree that he made the right choice. But if you love him, you should try to make him happy."
WQ taps his arm again.
"You don't have to understand why he picked you." Her voice is very soft. "You don't have to agree that he made the right choice. But if you love him, you should try to make him happy."
She falls silent for a moment, then lets out a long sigh.
"And if you also wind up happy in the process...I wouldn't complain."
She rises to her feet and gives WWX's shoulder a light shove.
"My family wouldn't complain, either."
"And if you also wind up happy in the process...I wouldn't complain."
She rises to her feet and gives WWX's shoulder a light shove.
"My family wouldn't complain, either."
She turns to clear the tea cups with neat, brisk movements.
"And by the way: I'll tell my grandmother they're not your eggs when you stop spending your days making lists of baby names and arranging the cradles!"
WWX flushes.
"And by the way: I'll tell my grandmother they're not your eggs when you stop spending your days making lists of baby names and arranging the cradles!"
WWX flushes.
He didn't mean to do any of that, exactly. But what was he supposed to do?
LXC had a lot of things delivered to the Jingshi over the last few days. Lan Zhan still spent most of his time sleeping. WWX had to find something to do, or he thought he might vibrate out of his skin.
LXC had a lot of things delivered to the Jingshi over the last few days. Lan Zhan still spent most of his time sleeping. WWX had to find something to do, or he thought he might vibrate out of his skin.
So in between fiddling around with his talismans, he drafted up menus for the first-month party.
He organized the cribs, blankets, and baby clothes. The three cribs formed a neat line in Lan Zhan's study, right next to WWX's cot. If he couldn't sleep, he sat and stared at them.
He organized the cribs, blankets, and baby clothes. The three cribs formed a neat line in Lan Zhan's study, right next to WWX's cot. If he couldn't sleep, he sat and stared at them.
He hung the protective talismans over the cribs and worked little charms into the babies' clothing.
He tried to picture what they'd look like during the first-month party. Lan Zhan's babies, all fat and pudgy, dressed in their pretty red celebratory clothes.
He tried to picture what they'd look like during the first-month party. Lan Zhan's babies, all fat and pudgy, dressed in their pretty red celebratory clothes.
He tried to imagine LXC holding the babies up, introducing them to the guests. He tried to imagine the announcement of the babies' names.
Lan Zhan wouldn't pick any names himself. So WWX sat there in the candlelight and held the tiny baby shoes in his palm.
Lan Zhan wouldn't pick any names himself. So WWX sat there in the candlelight and held the tiny baby shoes in his palm.
He tried his hardest to think of names that might be good enough for Lan Zhan's children.
In hindsight, he probably can't blame the Wens for jumping to certain conclusions. Still, WWX opens his mouth to argue.
But WQ won't let him.
In hindsight, he probably can't blame the Wens for jumping to certain conclusions. Still, WWX opens his mouth to argue.
But WQ won't let him.
She prods him toward the bedroom, cutting off his protests.
"Get back in there before A-Yuan talks poor Hanguang-Jun's ear off! It's time for his nap anyway. Bring him here, and I'll put him down."
She gestures to WWX's cot, so he slinks obediently into the bedroom.
"Get back in there before A-Yuan talks poor Hanguang-Jun's ear off! It's time for his nap anyway. Bring him here, and I'll put him down."
She gestures to WWX's cot, so he slinks obediently into the bedroom.
A-Yuan has found his way onto the bed. Lan Zhan is lying on his side, A-Yuan reclining against his chest. Little Shimmer rests on A-Yuan's lap, the other eggs tucked on either side of his small body.
WWX's heart seizes up at the sight.
WWX's heart seizes up at the sight.
A-Yuan is busily chattering away, rambling about the things he's seen at the settlement: the winter birds flying overhead, the soup his aunt made for lunch.
Lan Zhan almost looks like he's asleep. His eyes are closed, but every now and then, his hand strokes over A-Yuan's hair.
Lan Zhan almost looks like he's asleep. His eyes are closed, but every now and then, his hand strokes over A-Yuan's hair.
When WWX approaches the bed, Lan Zhan cracks his eyes open.
"A-Yuan." WWX clears his throat. "Come on, back to Auntie. It's naptime."
He expects a fuss, and he gets one. A-Yuan never likes naps. WWX can't blame him for making an especially big fuss today.
"A-Yuan." WWX clears his throat. "Come on, back to Auntie. It's naptime."
He expects a fuss, and he gets one. A-Yuan never likes naps. WWX can't blame him for making an especially big fuss today.
After all, he can't expect anybody to celebrate if they're cruelly ripped from Lan Zhan's arms.
A-Yuan tries to hide under the covers, and WWX tries to fish him out. But Lan Zhan stops him, settling a protective hand over A-Yuan's head.
A-Yuan tries to hide under the covers, and WWX tries to fish him out. But Lan Zhan stops him, settling a protective hand over A-Yuan's head.
"Let him take it here," Lan Zhan murmurs.
He tugs the blanket over A-Yuan, tucking the eggs under there, too. And within moments, there are three little lumps under the blanket, plus one extra-large lump.
WWX scrubs a hand over his face and sighs.
He tugs the blanket over A-Yuan, tucking the eggs under there, too. And within moments, there are three little lumps under the blanket, plus one extra-large lump.
WWX scrubs a hand over his face and sighs.
"Ah, where did this fourth egg come from?"
He pokes the big lump, aiming for A-Yuan's belly. He can't tell if he hits his target, but the lump lets out a muffled laugh.
"Lan Zhan, I thought there were only three! Did you have another one while my back was turned?"
He pokes the big lump, aiming for A-Yuan's belly. He can't tell if he hits his target, but the lump lets out a muffled laugh.
"Lan Zhan, I thought there were only three! Did you have another one while my back was turned?"
He can't quite keep the smile from his voice.
And there's a smile playing around the corners of Lan Zhan's mouth, too. He smooths a hand over the blankets.
"I found it," Lan Zhan says. "Or, it found me."
WWX lets out a particularly exaggerated sigh.
And there's a smile playing around the corners of Lan Zhan's mouth, too. He smooths a hand over the blankets.
"I found it," Lan Zhan says. "Or, it found me."
WWX lets out a particularly exaggerated sigh.
"Finders keepers, I guess!"
He lays a hand on each blanket-covered lump, counting them aloud. A-Yuan lets out another hastily muffled laugh.
"We have Little Blue, Little Wave, Little Shimmer...and now Little Radish? What a strange egg. It even has hair!"
He lays a hand on each blanket-covered lump, counting them aloud. A-Yuan lets out another hastily muffled laugh.
"We have Little Blue, Little Wave, Little Shimmer...and now Little Radish? What a strange egg. It even has hair!"
He tugs on a strand of A-Yuan's hair, poking up between the sheets. He plans to make some sort of joke about pulling up the radish to see if it's done growing.
But Lan Zhan swats his hand away, very gently.
"Stop disturbing the eggs. They're sleeping. It is our naptime."
But Lan Zhan swats his hand away, very gently.
"Stop disturbing the eggs. They're sleeping. It is our naptime."
WWX sighs one last time, and he nods.
If Lan Zhan doesn't mind this arrangement, it's probably the best way to get A-Yuan to submit to a nap.
Already A-Yuan has stopped squirming and giggling. He's tucked against Lan Zhan's chest, warm and safe.
If Lan Zhan doesn't mind this arrangement, it's probably the best way to get A-Yuan to submit to a nap.
Already A-Yuan has stopped squirming and giggling. He's tucked against Lan Zhan's chest, warm and safe.
It would be ridiculous to envy a toddler, so WWX stamps down on the tiny flicker of jealousy. A-Yuan looks very cozy, that's all. And Lan Zhan's skin is so warm, his eyes so soft. A-Yuan is very lucky!
But WWX has used up all his luck for this lifetime and the next.
But WWX has used up all his luck for this lifetime and the next.
So he turns away, and tries to get back to the study. Back to his own narrow cot and the empty cradles waiting to be filled.
But before he can leave, Lan Zhan reaches out and catches his sleeve.
"Wei Ying." He hesitates. "There is room. If you would also like to rest."
But before he can leave, Lan Zhan reaches out and catches his sleeve.
"Wei Ying." He hesitates. "There is room. If you would also like to rest."
WWX's chest goes tight again. His throat seizes up, and so does his heart, and he really doesn't think he can go on like this.
It can't be healthy. WQ should give him medicine for THIS, rather than worrying about the damage caused by resentful energy!
He stares at the bed.
It can't be healthy. WQ should give him medicine for THIS, rather than worrying about the damage caused by resentful energy!
He stares at the bed.
There isn't really room. Not much, anyway. Lan Zhan scoots over a little, taking the babies and A-Yuan with him. There are five of them already, and there's only a narrow strip of space left for WWX.
But maybe it's enough. Maybe he can squeeze his way into the gaps.
But maybe it's enough. Maybe he can squeeze his way into the gaps.
Maybe there's just enough space - here, in this bed, here, in Cloud Recesses - for WWX.
And maybe it would make Lan Zhan happy. He gazes up at WWX, and even WWX can't miss the subtly hopeful expression on Lan Zhan's face.
And maybe it would make Lan Zhan happy. He gazes up at WWX, and even WWX can't miss the subtly hopeful expression on Lan Zhan's face.
And maybe, like WQ says, he should try to make Lan Zhan happy. Maybe he can be happy, too. Maybe it's not as impossible as it seems: the idea that they could be happy together.
Just for now, just for an afternoon nap, maybe they can try it.
So WWX edges his way onto the bed.
Just for now, just for an afternoon nap, maybe they can try it.
So WWX edges his way onto the bed.
He's very careful not to squish the eggs, or roll on top of A-Yuan. And he's very careful not to get too close to Lan Zhan, who's still not wearing anything under the sheets.
But Lan Zhan reaches out, tucking the edge of the quilt around WWX's shoulders.
But Lan Zhan reaches out, tucking the edge of the quilt around WWX's shoulders.
WWX's hands find one of the eggs, warm and heavy. He finds A-Yuan, and strokes his hair.
He doesn't mean to reach for Lan Zhan. But his hand finds Lan Zhan's hip, too. He leave his hand there, pressed against Lan Zhan's skin, because he's too petrified to move it.
He doesn't mean to reach for Lan Zhan. But his hand finds Lan Zhan's hip, too. He leave his hand there, pressed against Lan Zhan's skin, because he's too petrified to move it.
And Lan Zhan doesn't push him away. He finishes arranging the blankets, and his own hand rests - as if by accident - on WWX's shoulder. His hand dips a little, slides down until it rests over WWX's heart.
Then he shuts his eyes, and his breathing slowly evens out.
Then he shuts his eyes, and his breathing slowly evens out.
He slides off into sleep, and so does A-Yuan. The eggs are sleeping too, probably.
But WWX lies awake for a long time, watching and hardly daring to breathe.
But WWX lies awake for a long time, watching and hardly daring to breathe.
(Pausing here!
We're getting somewhere, folks! We have 2-3 more sections to go, and Good Things start to happen in the next bit!
Hang in there!)
We're getting somewhere, folks! We have 2-3 more sections to go, and Good Things start to happen in the next bit!
Hang in there!)
🐉🥚🥚🥚
The days melt together. WWX almost doesn't notice the passage of time. Evening bleeds into morning, and WWX spends most of the day in Lan Zhan's bedroom.
Sometimes, he even spends a few hours in Lan Zhan's bed. He tells himself he's only helping to keep the eggs cozy.
The days melt together. WWX almost doesn't notice the passage of time. Evening bleeds into morning, and WWX spends most of the day in Lan Zhan's bedroom.
Sometimes, he even spends a few hours in Lan Zhan's bed. He tells himself he's only helping to keep the eggs cozy.
Time doesn't seem to exist inside the Jingshi. The sun rises and sets. Sometimes, the winter winds rattle the windows and doors. Then everything goes quiet and still as a light snowfall dusts Cloud Recesses. WWX watches from the window, but he doesn't venture outside very much.
It feels safer in the Jingshi...safer and cozier. Besides, he doesn't want to leave Lan Zhan and the babies alone for too long.
LXC stops by now and then to play Cleansing, but they don't talk much. WWX gets the impression that LXC has said everything he needs to say.
LXC stops by now and then to play Cleansing, but they don't talk much. WWX gets the impression that LXC has said everything he needs to say.
Sometimes he brings presents for WWX. There are new clothes, books, ink, and brushes. There's meat on at least half of WWX's meal trays, too. WWX isn't supposed to know that it was sent by LQR.
LXC smiles over it. WWX remarks that he MUST be breaking the rules, but LXC says no.
LXC smiles over it. WWX remarks that he MUST be breaking the rules, but LXC says no.
He says Lan disciples are allowed to eat meat if a physician says it's necessary for their health. He says, too, that there are technically no restrictions on meat consumption if someone hasn't formally become a part of their sect. Guests can eat what they like.
At this, he gives WWX a thoughtful, questioning look. But WWX averts his eyes. He's not ready to answer that question yet.
He eats every morsel of his chicken and drags a finger through the sauce. He wonders if he would miss it: eating meat and spicy things, drinking wine.
He eats every morsel of his chicken and drags a finger through the sauce. He wonders if he would miss it: eating meat and spicy things, drinking wine.
If he joined the Lan sect, he'd have to give it up...at least when he was in Cloud Recesses. He'd have to follow the rules.
It would be enough of a scandal: him marrying Lan Zhan. He couldn't afford to damage Lan Zhan's reputation even more by refusing to obey the rules.
It would be enough of a scandal: him marrying Lan Zhan. He couldn't afford to damage Lan Zhan's reputation even more by refusing to obey the rules.
Once, the rules felt so stifling.
When he was a fifteen year old guest disciple, WWX would have cut off his arm before swearing to obey all three thousands disciplines forever. But it doesn't sound quite so terrible now.
When he was a fifteen year old guest disciple, WWX would have cut off his arm before swearing to obey all three thousands disciplines forever. But it doesn't sound quite so terrible now.
After months in the Burial Mounds, the idea of a steady diet of bland food doesn't sound so bad. The structure of Cloud Recesses isn't quite as off-putting as it used to be. Not when it comes with safety and shelter and clean bedding.
And there's nothing off-putting about the Jingshi itself.
WWX sets aside his tray and crawls back into the bed. Lan Zhan is sleeping, the eggs tucked against his side. Little Blue wriggles around. WWX rests a hand over their shell and shushes them before they can wake Lan Zhan.
WWX sets aside his tray and crawls back into the bed. Lan Zhan is sleeping, the eggs tucked against his side. Little Blue wriggles around. WWX rests a hand over their shell and shushes them before they can wake Lan Zhan.
It doesn't work. Little Blue wiggles harder, as if excited by his presence. WWX sighs and pulls the egg onto his lap.
He stares around at the soft, muted colors of the Jingshi.
Once, he would have laughed at the idea of marrying into the Lan sect. Now...
He stares around at the soft, muted colors of the Jingshi.
Once, he would have laughed at the idea of marrying into the Lan sect. Now...
Now, it doesn't seem so bad at all. Waking up next to Lan Zhan is worth any price. Feeling the babies wriggle and squirm when he pats their shell is worth anything.
Roast pork and Emperor's Smile really can't compare. Lan Zhan's smile is better.
Roast pork and Emperor's Smile really can't compare. Lan Zhan's smile is better.
When WWX imagines the babies smiling, round-cheeked and big-eyed with dimpled hands, he's ready to swear off meat and liquor forever.
There are still so many obstacles. But they don't seem as impassable as they once did.
There are still so many obstacles. But they don't seem as impassable as they once did.
WWX stretches out on the mattress and stares at Lan Zhan's sleeping face. His hand leaves Little Blue's shell. It drifts toward his robes, where he tucked away Shijie's most recent letter.
They've sent three letters back and forth now. He told her about the eggs.
They've sent three letters back and forth now. He told her about the eggs.
He told JC, too.
He didn't say they were his eggs. But...he didn't say they weren't his eggs, either. And so Shijie and JC drew their own conclusions.
Shijie's letter was full of astonishment and delight. She swore to keep the eggs a secret for as long as possible.
He didn't say they were his eggs. But...he didn't say they weren't his eggs, either. And so Shijie and JC drew their own conclusions.
Shijie's letter was full of astonishment and delight. She swore to keep the eggs a secret for as long as possible.
Then she asked after every detail of Lan Zhan's hatching.
She said she was a little sad she only managed to produce one egg herself. She was grateful: she worried that her health would make even a single hatching difficult. But she had worried that her baby might be lonely.
She said she was a little sad she only managed to produce one egg herself. She was grateful: she worried that her health would make even a single hatching difficult. But she had worried that her baby might be lonely.
She hoped that having three cousins might make up for her baby being an only child. She hoped her baby could spend lots of time with their cousins. She hoped the little ones could become as close as she was with WWX.
She was sure the children would be devoted friends.
She was sure the children would be devoted friends.
They would stand by each other forever, she said.
WWX cried over that letter while Lan Zhan squeezed his hand and carded gentle fingers through his hair.
JC's letter wasn't quite as sentimental. But it was still a lot nicer than WWX had expected.
WWX cried over that letter while Lan Zhan squeezed his hand and carded gentle fingers through his hair.
JC's letter wasn't quite as sentimental. But it was still a lot nicer than WWX had expected.
JC was shocked to hear about the eggs. Then he was a little outraged, then resigned.
He said he should have expected something like this. He said it was shocking that WWX had done that sort of thing outside of wedlock, but at least it explained why he'd gone to Cloud Recesses.
He said he should have expected something like this. He said it was shocking that WWX had done that sort of thing outside of wedlock, but at least it explained why he'd gone to Cloud Recesses.
At least it explained why he'd gone to the Lans, rather than returning to Lotus Pier.
He said WWX was lucky the Lans were willing to take him in and sort out a respectable arrangement. He said WWX was lucky the Lans hadn't tried to whip him for despoiling their young master.
He said WWX was lucky the Lans were willing to take him in and sort out a respectable arrangement. He said WWX was lucky the Lans hadn't tried to whip him for despoiling their young master.
WWX had choked a little over that. He didn't know how to explain that he hadn't actually despoiled anybody. But he didn't have time to think about that.
JC's letter went on, and on. He wanted to know the details about the wedding and the first-month party.
JC's letter went on, and on. He wanted to know the details about the wedding and the first-month party.
He wanted to know if he should write to Sect Leader Lan to discuss the ceremonial exchange of betrothal gifts. He wanted to know if a date had been selected for the wedding, and whether someone was already drawing up the appropriate documents for the marriage.
He wanted to know when the children were expected to hatch, and when their courtesy names would be selected. He didn't trust WWX's naming skills.
And since WWX had been allowed to choose the courtesy name for Shijie's baby, he thought it was his turn to pick a name.
And since WWX had been allowed to choose the courtesy name for Shijie's baby, he thought it was his turn to pick a name.
WWX had been stunned. He stared at that letter for a long, long time.
JC took it for granted that there would be a wedding.
No, it wasn't just that. JC took it for granted that HE would be involved in the marriage. That the Jiang sect would be involved.
JC took it for granted that there would be a wedding.
No, it wasn't just that. JC took it for granted that HE would be involved in the marriage. That the Jiang sect would be involved.
That the Lans would send fruit and cakes and liquor to the Jiangs. That the Jiangs would reciprocate with other presents on WWX's behalf.
That someone from the Jiang sect would look over the marriage contract to make sure it was favorable to WWX.
That someone from the Jiang sect would look over the marriage contract to make sure it was favorable to WWX.
That JC would get to...that he would WANT to...choose a name for one of the babies.
WWX was dumbfounded to realize that JC was taking note of the first-month party. That he was planning to actually show up to Cloud Recesses.
WWX was dumbfounded to realize that JC was taking note of the first-month party. That he was planning to actually show up to Cloud Recesses.
Not just as a representative of the Jiang Sect, congratulating Sect Leader Lan on his new nieces and nephews. But as WWX's brother.
As someone who had the right to bestow special gifts on the children, and learn their given names before any of the other guests.
As someone who had the right to bestow special gifts on the children, and learn their given names before any of the other guests.
He let Lan Zhan read the letter. WWX was too stupefied to talk, and Lan Zhan got worried. He thought it was bad news.
So WWX handed the letter over, and Lan Zhan read it carefully. Then he sat in silence for a while, studying WWX.
So WWX handed the letter over, and Lan Zhan read it carefully. Then he sat in silence for a while, studying WWX.
"Did you think that he no longer cared for you?" Lan Zhan asked, slowly. "That he would not care for any children you chose to claim?"
WWX shook his head. But he didn't really know whether he meant it as a 'yes' or a 'no'.
He thought everything was lost to him.
WWX shook his head. But he didn't really know whether he meant it as a 'yes' or a 'no'.
He thought everything was lost to him.
JC, Shijie, Lotus Pier. His position as first disciple, his position as their brother. He thought it was all gone. He thought it HAD to be gone, when he chose to break ties with the Jiangs. When he forced JC to disown him.
He told Lan Zhan that.
He told Lan Zhan that.
But Lan Zhan just looked at him very gently. His expression that suggested he thought WWX was crazy.
"You cared for him enough to sacrifice everything for him," Lan Zhan said.
WWX flinched.
"You cared for him enough to sacrifice everything for him," Lan Zhan said.
WWX flinched.
"Did you believe that he cared nothing for you? That no part of your devotion was returned? That it was impossible for him to wish to give you anything in return?"
WWX didn't know how to answer that.
It hadn't mattered at the time, that's all.
WWX didn't know how to answer that.
It hadn't mattered at the time, that's all.
It wasn't about whether JC was devoted to him. It was about what he owed JC...what he owed the Jiang clan. It was about WWX's duties and his love. Whether or not it was returned wasn't the point.
WWX didn't say that. But Lan Zhan clearly guessed what he was thinking.
WWX didn't say that. But Lan Zhan clearly guessed what he was thinking.
Suddenly, he looked very sad. WWX had pushed aside his letter and tried to cheer Lan Zhan up. It couldn't be healthy for the babies if Lan Zhan was sad!
But WWX kept thinking about it. He turned the letter over and over in his hands, until the edges were worn soft.
But WWX kept thinking about it. He turned the letter over and over in his hands, until the edges were worn soft.
JC said it made sense now: why WWX had gone to the Lans, and not come back to Lotus Pier.
Had he been expecting that? Had he thought WWX would find a way to smooth things over with the sects, protect the Wens, and then come back home?
Had he been expecting that? Had he thought WWX would find a way to smooth things over with the sects, protect the Wens, and then come back home?
Had he been waiting? Expecting WWX to find some miraculous method of clearing his soiled reputation so he could finally come home and help JC manage the sect?
Somehow, that thought hurt more than anything.
Somehow, that thought hurt more than anything.
He thought JC understood that everything was over between them. He thought JC understood there was no coming back from any of this.
The idea that JC was waiting for his shixiong to work some miracle and come home...it burned a hole straight through WWX's chest.
The idea that JC was waiting for his shixiong to work some miracle and come home...it burned a hole straight through WWX's chest.
That night, while they were lying in bed, Lan Zhan told him what had happened during the months he and JC were searching together.
Everybody thought WWX was dead, killed by the Wens. But Lan Zhan wouldn't give up, and neither would JC.
Everybody thought WWX was dead, killed by the Wens. But Lan Zhan wouldn't give up, and neither would JC.
They held out hope, even when people told them it had been months. Even when people said WWX was surely nothing more than a pile of bones, hidden in some muddy ditch.
WWX shut his eyes. Lan Zhan slipped his hand into WWX's. After a brief hesitation, WWX hung on for dear life.
WWX shut his eyes. Lan Zhan slipped his hand into WWX's. After a brief hesitation, WWX hung on for dear life.
He's tried hard not to think of this: the way Lan Zhan and JC had looked when they finally found him. The mingled relief and shock on their faces when they saw he was alive...when they realized what he was doing to the Wens.
WWX tried to forget it.
WWX tried to forget it.
And he tried to forget the way he shoved Lan Zhan away. How he'd been mean, cold, cruel. How he told Lan Zhan it was none of his business what WWX did, since they were barely acquaintances after all.
WWX hated himself for it at the time.
WWX hated himself for it at the time.
He hates himself a hundred times more now.
It was bad enough when he thought Lan Zhan barely even liked him. Now that Lan Zhan has said he loves him...now that Lan Zhan has put his children right into WWX's hands...it's unendurable.
It was bad enough when he thought Lan Zhan barely even liked him. Now that Lan Zhan has said he loves him...now that Lan Zhan has put his children right into WWX's hands...it's unendurable.
If Lan Zhan liked him back then...really, truly liked him...then WWX must have hurt him so much by pushing him away.
"Why did you forgive me for that?" he whispers one afternoon.
He's half buried beneath the blankets and pillows, the eggs resting on his chest.
"Why did you forgive me for that?" he whispers one afternoon.
He's half buried beneath the blankets and pillows, the eggs resting on his chest.
He likes the pressure, the solid weight pinning him to the earth. He likes the little movements as the babies turn over in their shells. He likes Lan Zhan's fingers, working through his hair and rubbing his scalp.
But he doesn't understand why he gets to have this now.
But he doesn't understand why he gets to have this now.
"I was so mean to you."
He squeezes his eyes shut, trying to blot out the memories.
"You tried so hard to find me. And then I just...spat in your face. Why did you forgive me?"
Lan Zhan's fingers pause.
He squeezes his eyes shut, trying to blot out the memories.
"You tried so hard to find me. And then I just...spat in your face. Why did you forgive me?"
Lan Zhan's fingers pause.
For an instant, WWX panics. He thinks this might be it: the moment Lan Zhan remembers how badly WWX behaved, and realizes what an ungrateful jerk he was.
But Lan Zhan just lets out a long, quiet sigh. His fingers smooth over WWX's temple.
But Lan Zhan just lets out a long, quiet sigh. His fingers smooth over WWX's temple.
It's as if he's trying to rub away the tension that must be visible around WWX's eyes.
"There was nothing to forgive," he murmurs. "Wei Ying. I was not angry with you."
WWX shakes his head. He keeps his eyes firmly shut.
"You had to be mad at me." He swallows. "Or hurt."
"There was nothing to forgive," he murmurs. "Wei Ying. I was not angry with you."
WWX shakes his head. He keeps his eyes firmly shut.
"You had to be mad at me." He swallows. "Or hurt."
Hurt is worse. Hurt is so much worse than mad.
There were times in the past - when WWX was running around CR as a guest disciple, gleefully causing problems - when he WANTED to make Lan Zhan mad. It was funny then.
There were times in the past - when WWX was running around CR as a guest disciple, gleefully causing problems - when he WANTED to make Lan Zhan mad. It was funny then.
He was just a stupid kid who didn't even realize he had a crush. But it was funny to get a reaction out of Lan Zhan.
It's not funny anymore. Making Lan Zhan mad isn't funny at all, and it's even less funny to think of making Lan Zhan feel hurt.
Lan Zhan hums thoughtfully.
It's not funny anymore. Making Lan Zhan mad isn't funny at all, and it's even less funny to think of making Lan Zhan feel hurt.
Lan Zhan hums thoughtfully.
"I was...confused," he admits. "At first, I was upset. But then I saw you were hurting and unwell. Then...I was worried."
He's quiet for a minute.
WWX listens. The babies shift sleepily inside their shells.
"I wanted to help," Lan Zhan finishes. But I didn't know how."
He's quiet for a minute.
WWX listens. The babies shift sleepily inside their shells.
"I wanted to help," Lan Zhan finishes. But I didn't know how."
WWX swallows.
He doesn't think there's anything Lan Zhan can do to help. He can't do anything more than what he's already done.
But it means something that Lan Zhan wants to help. It means a lot. It's everything, in fact.
He doesn't think there's anything Lan Zhan can do to help. He can't do anything more than what he's already done.
But it means something that Lan Zhan wants to help. It means a lot. It's everything, in fact.
It's enough to sustain him throughout the day as he gets up, washes his face, and eats his breakfast. It's enough to motivate him to take better care of himself, to write Shijie and JC.
WWX thinks he could last a long time on just this: Lan Zhan, here, wanting to help.
WWX thinks he could last a long time on just this: Lan Zhan, here, wanting to help.
But one morning, WQ visits.
She has a packet of papers in hand and a solemn expression on her face. She takes a seat beside the bed, and doesn't mention anything about wanting to examine WWX.
"There's something I need to discuss with the two of you," she says.
She has a packet of papers in hand and a solemn expression on her face. She takes a seat beside the bed, and doesn't mention anything about wanting to examine WWX.
"There's something I need to discuss with the two of you," she says.
She sets the papers aside and folds her hands on her lap.
Then she's silent for a disturbingly long time.
WWX is squished onto the bed with Lan Zhan and the babies. His hands tighten on the bedding.
Then she's silent for a disturbingly long time.
WWX is squished onto the bed with Lan Zhan and the babies. His hands tighten on the bedding.
If there was something wrong with him...or wrong with Lan Zhan, wrong with the babies...she would say it.
If the Jins were up to something, if the Wens were threatened, she'd say it.
WQ doesn't believe in drawing things out.
If the Jins were up to something, if the Wens were threatened, she'd say it.
WQ doesn't believe in drawing things out.
If she has to make an incision, she does it quickly and cleanly. WWX knows that. But this time, she's hedging. His heart pounds in his chest.
He reaches, without quite thinking about what he's doing, for Lan Zhan's hand.
Finally, WQ licks her lips and speaks.
He reaches, without quite thinking about what he's doing, for Lan Zhan's hand.
Finally, WQ licks her lips and speaks.
"Grandmaster Lan found something in the library."
Lan Zhan's hand clamps down on WWX's. His grip is almost painful, but WWX can't think about that. His head is filled with a dull buzzing.
"It's a very old document." WQ's voice is very slow and deliberate.
Lan Zhan's hand clamps down on WWX's. His grip is almost painful, but WWX can't think about that. His head is filled with a dull buzzing.
"It's a very old document." WQ's voice is very slow and deliberate.
"I've never seen anything like it."
She pauses again, for barely a heartbeat.
"It details a method for generating a golden core in the body of a fully-grown adult."
Lan Zhan squeezes his hand so tightly, it almost cuts off circulation. WWX can feel his suppressed excitement.
She pauses again, for barely a heartbeat.
"It details a method for generating a golden core in the body of a fully-grown adult."
Lan Zhan squeezes his hand so tightly, it almost cuts off circulation. WWX can feel his suppressed excitement.
WWX's body is numb, cold.
"But..." he starts.
Then he stops. He doesn't even know what to say.
WQ meets his eyes and gives a slight nod.
"I know." Her voice is gentle, her face calm. "I looked into it carefully. He found it two days ago. I've been researching it ever since."
"But..." he starts.
Then he stops. He doesn't even know what to say.
WQ meets his eyes and gives a slight nod.
"I know." Her voice is gentle, her face calm. "I looked into it carefully. He found it two days ago. I've been researching it ever since."
"I didn't want to even mention it if it was..."
Her lips press into a thin line, and she ducks her head. Then she raises her chin.
"I didn't want to raise false hopes. But I can't see anything...too implausible about this method."
Her lips press into a thin line, and she ducks her head. Then she raises her chin.
"I didn't want to raise false hopes. But I can't see anything...too implausible about this method."
She pauses again. She seems to expect some type of response.
But for once in his life, WWX has absolutely nothing to say. His mind has been wiped blank.
Every muscle in Lan Zhan's body is tense, but he doesn't speak either. He just sits there, straight-backed and alert.
But for once in his life, WWX has absolutely nothing to say. His mind has been wiped blank.
Every muscle in Lan Zhan's body is tense, but he doesn't speak either. He just sits there, straight-backed and alert.
His eyes are locked onto WQ's face.
"Of course," WQ adds hastily, "I can't GUARANTEE anything either. But I don't think trying this could do any harm. So I thought I'd better let the two of you discuss it."
WWX nods dumbly. She's waiting for a response, so he has to give one.
"Of course," WQ adds hastily, "I can't GUARANTEE anything either. But I don't think trying this could do any harm. So I thought I'd better let the two of you discuss it."
WWX nods dumbly. She's waiting for a response, so he has to give one.
But he can't take it in.
He hadn't...
He hadn't actually expected LQR to FIND anything. He thought this was just a last ditch attempt on LQR's part. Maybe he felt guilty for speaking harshly of WWX.
He hadn't...
He hadn't actually expected LQR to FIND anything. He thought this was just a last ditch attempt on LQR's part. Maybe he felt guilty for speaking harshly of WWX.
Or maybe he felt sorry for his nephew, promising to marry somebody with no golden core.
Maybe he thought this relationship would be too disgraceful for the Lan clan, and he was desperate to find an escape route. WWX could understand that.
Maybe he thought this relationship would be too disgraceful for the Lan clan, and he was desperate to find an escape route. WWX could understand that.
But WWX didn't expect anybody to find anything. Short of a transplant, he never heard of a way to replace a missing golden core. Neither had WQ. He thought it was impossible, hopeless...something even an immortal couldn't manage.
He can't absorb what WQ is telling him.
He can't absorb what WQ is telling him.
But...she wouldn't joke about this. She wouldn't raise false hopes. WWX knows that. WQ could never be so cruel.
And she removes a sheaf of papers from the packet, smoothing it out on her lap. The paper is covered over in her cramped handwriting.
And she removes a sheaf of papers from the packet, smoothing it out on her lap. The paper is covered over in her cramped handwriting.
"This method requires a dragon's pearl."
She lifts her eyes from her notes, fixating them on Lan Zhan.
"Hanguang-Jun, you know about such things?"
WWX turns to stare at Lan Zhan's face.
And Lan Zhan is so beautiful. He's always beautiful, but he's radiant just now.
She lifts her eyes from her notes, fixating them on Lan Zhan.
"Hanguang-Jun, you know about such things?"
WWX turns to stare at Lan Zhan's face.
And Lan Zhan is so beautiful. He's always beautiful, but he's radiant just now.
His face is full of hope and enthusiasm.
WWX almost shuts his eyes and turns away. He can't, he won't, nurture any hopes himself. But he can't bear to see that transcendent look wiped off of Lan Zhan's face, either.
"Yes," Lan Zhan says.
WWX almost shuts his eyes and turns away. He can't, he won't, nurture any hopes himself. But he can't bear to see that transcendent look wiped off of Lan Zhan's face, either.
"Yes," Lan Zhan says.
WQ gives a brisk nod.
"Have you ever created one before?"
"No." Lan Zhan shakes his head. "There was no need. None of my immediate family have ever..."
His expression dims a little and his voice roughens.
"Have you ever created one before?"
"No." Lan Zhan shakes his head. "There was no need. None of my immediate family have ever..."
His expression dims a little and his voice roughens.
"My mother...she died too suddenly. There was no time for my father or uncle to...and my brother and I were too young."
He catches his breath.
"And with my father...the chaos of the war...my brother and I were not here, so..."
WQ bows her head respectfully.
He catches his breath.
"And with my father...the chaos of the war...my brother and I were not here, so..."
WQ bows her head respectfully.
WWX stares, bewildered. WQ turns to him.
"You've heard the legends?" she asks.
He shakes his head dazedly.
"Legends." His voice is raspy, and he stops to clear his throat. "Rumors! I didn't even know if it was real."
Everybody knows the stories, of course.
"You've heard the legends?" she asks.
He shakes his head dazedly.
"Legends." His voice is raspy, and he stops to clear his throat. "Rumors! I didn't even know if it was real."
Everybody knows the stories, of course.
But there are lots of stories about the cultivators of the Great Clans. There are lots of rumors. WWX knows from experience that half the stories about the Jiang clan aren't true. He assumed it was the same with the Lans.
A thousand years have passed since the founding of their sect. The stories of the Lan dragons must have grown more muddled and outrageous with each generation.
WWX knows about dragon's pearls. But he thought it was just a peasant's story.
WQ shakes her head.
WWX knows about dragon's pearls. But he thought it was just a peasant's story.
WQ shakes her head.
"Dragons can generate one pearl in their lifetime."
She holds up a single finger.
"It takes a fair amount of spiritual energy, and a lot of focus. The pearl contains powerful healing properties. When ingested, it can resolve almost any illness or injury."
She holds up a single finger.
"It takes a fair amount of spiritual energy, and a lot of focus. The pearl contains powerful healing properties. When ingested, it can resolve almost any illness or injury."
Lan Zhan presses WWX's hand between both of his. His hands are so warm. His body is full of spiritual energy, even with all the work he's been doing caring for the babies.
WWX's hands must feel like ice in comparison.
WWX's hands must feel like ice in comparison.
"And you think it could..." Lan Zhan's voice shakes for a moment, then steadies. "It could restore a golden core?"
WQ frowns down at her notes.
"It could heal a diseased or damaged golden core, certainly. I knew that already."
WQ frowns down at her notes.
"It could heal a diseased or damaged golden core, certainly. I knew that already."
"But I didn't see how it could restore a core that had been lost, or one that had never generated in the first place. That's why I didn't bring it up before."
She fingers the edge of her paper.
"But the document Grandmaster Lan found..."
She turns the notes around.
She fingers the edge of her paper.
"But the document Grandmaster Lan found..."
She turns the notes around.
Lan Zhan leans forward eagerly, but WWX sways back. The characters blur before his eyes, hazy and indistinct. He can't make himself read them.
"It's possible," WQ says, "that ingesting the pearl could act as a temporary reservoir."
"It's possible," WQ says, "that ingesting the pearl could act as a temporary reservoir."
"It's a very potent thing. Theoretically, the pearl could hold spiritual energy in the body and replace a golden core for a short period."
She points to something else on the paper. Lan Zhan leans forward again, devouring the words.
"It wouldn't last forever," WQ adds.
She points to something else on the paper. Lan Zhan leans forward again, devouring the words.
"It wouldn't last forever," WQ adds.
She rocks back, knotting her hands in her lap. Her knuckles are white.
"We knows that the pearl dissolves eventually, as the energy disperses throughout the body."
"We knows that the pearl dissolves eventually, as the energy disperses throughout the body."
"But this document," she pushes forward another sheaf of notes, "suggests that dual cultivation could make the effects permanent."
WWX jolts at the words 'dual cultivation'. Lan Zhan snags the papers, drawing them closer.
WQ studies the bedside table, her brows drawn together.
WWX jolts at the words 'dual cultivation'. Lan Zhan snags the papers, drawing them closer.
WQ studies the bedside table, her brows drawn together.
"Of course, this is all theoretical. As far as I can tell, this method hasn't been attempted in centuries. But ongoing infusions of spiritual energy, though dual cultivation, might combine with the pearl to generate a golden core."
Her eyes dart toward WWX.
Her eyes dart toward WWX.
But he can't meet her gaze. He turns away, staring at Lan Zhan's perfect hands clutching the sheaf of papers.
"It may not be a very strong one." WQ's voice softens. "If this method succeeds, the resulting core is probably very weak. It would take a long time to rebuild it."
"It may not be a very strong one." WQ's voice softens. "If this method succeeds, the resulting core is probably very weak. It would take a long time to rebuild it."
She hesitates. Her voice softens further.
"But...the theory is sound. It might be possible."
She's looking at him. WWX can sense that. Lan Zhan has turned toward him too. WWX can feel his focus like a leaded weight. But he doesn't look up.
"But...the theory is sound. It might be possible."
She's looking at him. WWX can sense that. Lan Zhan has turned toward him too. WWX can feel his focus like a leaded weight. But he doesn't look up.
He can't even let himself hope for this. He can't make himself believe, even for minute, that this might be anything more than an ancient myth.
WQ stretches out a hand and touches WWX sleeve.
WQ stretches out a hand and touches WWX sleeve.
"I don't want to make any promises. Of course, I can't vouch for the accuracy of this document."
She squeezes his wrist once, then draws her hand back.
"Still...if I thought there was no chance it could succeed, I wouldn't have even mentioned this."
She's quiet for a minute.
She squeezes his wrist once, then draws her hand back.
"Still...if I thought there was no chance it could succeed, I wouldn't have even mentioned this."
She's quiet for a minute.
Out of the corner of his eyes, WWX sees her shrug.
"But the concept is logical. So it might work."
WWX's throat is bone-dry. He can't muster up a response. Lan Zhan's hand sneaks into his, squeezing tight. WWX feels too numb to even squeeze back.
"But the concept is logical. So it might work."
WWX's throat is bone-dry. He can't muster up a response. Lan Zhan's hand sneaks into his, squeezing tight. WWX feels too numb to even squeeze back.
"But, of course, it's asking a lot from you."
This, directed toward Lan Zhan.
"It isn't," Lan Zhan says promptly.
He squeezes WWX's hand again.
"Wei Ying. Will you agree to try?"
This, directed toward Lan Zhan.
"It isn't," Lan Zhan says promptly.
He squeezes WWX's hand again.
"Wei Ying. Will you agree to try?"
His voice is so gentle, and heartbreakingly hopeful.
WWX would do anything for him, anything at all. He'd put himself through any method, no matter how implausible or painful, if it might bring back his core. He'd do it for Lan Zhan and babies, more than anything else.
WWX would do anything for him, anything at all. He'd put himself through any method, no matter how implausible or painful, if it might bring back his core. He'd do it for Lan Zhan and babies, more than anything else.
They deserve a proper effort, even if the attempt seems far-fetched.
But WWX feels dizzy, faint. If someone found something, he would have expected...
He doesn't really KNOW what he expected. But he might have braced himself for something as painful as the original surgery.
But WWX feels dizzy, faint. If someone found something, he would have expected...
He doesn't really KNOW what he expected. But he might have braced himself for something as painful as the original surgery.
He didn't expect to hear the words "dual cultivation". He didn't expect to have it proposed as a solution to the problem.
And now Lan Zhan is staring at him, gripping his hand.
Lan Zhan, who said he loves WWX. Who said he wanted to marry WWX.
And now Lan Zhan is staring at him, gripping his hand.
Lan Zhan, who said he loves WWX. Who said he wanted to marry WWX.
Lan Zhan, who said his feelings wouldn't change no matter what.
A small, hysterical laugh escapes WWX's lips.
"Ah. Wait a minute, wait a minute." He scrubs his free hand over his face. "We're talking about..."
A small, hysterical laugh escapes WWX's lips.
"Ah. Wait a minute, wait a minute." He scrubs his free hand over his face. "We're talking about..."
He gestures.
With only one free hand, it's not a very illuminating gesture. But that's probably for the best. The only gestures he knows for dual cultivation are very crude.
But he has to be clear on this point. He has to understand what Lan Zhan is suggesting.
With only one free hand, it's not a very illuminating gesture. But that's probably for the best. The only gestures he knows for dual cultivation are very crude.
But he has to be clear on this point. He has to understand what Lan Zhan is suggesting.
What's he offering.
"Dual cultivation? As in...that?" WWX's voice goes small. "You would want...?"
He still can't manage to look Lan Zhan in the eye.
But Lan Zhan clasps WWX's hand between both of his. His thumb works over WWX's knuckles.
"Dual cultivation? As in...that?" WWX's voice goes small. "You would want...?"
He still can't manage to look Lan Zhan in the eye.
But Lan Zhan clasps WWX's hand between both of his. His thumb works over WWX's knuckles.
He shifts closer, his thigh pressed against WWX's. WWX's heart stutters and gallops inside his chest.
From her vantage point, WQ snorts.
"Wei Wuxian. He's asked you MARRY him."
WWX darts a glance toward WQ. He finds her watching him with weary, fond exasperation.
From her vantage point, WQ snorts.
"Wei Wuxian. He's asked you MARRY him."
WWX darts a glance toward WQ. He finds her watching him with weary, fond exasperation.
"What did you think? Did you expect that if you said yes, he'd make you sleep on the floor for your entire married life?"
WWX's face grows hot.
He hadn't even thought about saying yes. Not exactly, anyway. Saying yes had been the furthest thing from his mind, at first.
WWX's face grows hot.
He hadn't even thought about saying yes. Not exactly, anyway. Saying yes had been the furthest thing from his mind, at first.
Saying yes seemed impossible. Saying yes seemed heartlessly selfish.
Even now...even after Lan Zhan refused to take anything back...WWX has hesitated.
He's been sleeping in Lan Zhan's bed, yes. But fully clothed, and he's careful not to let his hands wander.
Even now...even after Lan Zhan refused to take anything back...WWX has hesitated.
He's been sleeping in Lan Zhan's bed, yes. But fully clothed, and he's careful not to let his hands wander.
He's been holding the eggs, rocking them, picking out names. He's been thinking, doubtfully and hesitantly, whether he might find a way to build a life here. Whether it would be possible to stay near Lan Zhan and the babies forever.
But marrying Lan Zhan still seemed like an impossible dream.
And WWX hadn't gotten far enough along to imagine the other things that would go with marriage. It just seemed cruel to torment himself with THAT sort of fantasy.
And WWX hadn't gotten far enough along to imagine the other things that would go with marriage. It just seemed cruel to torment himself with THAT sort of fantasy.
But he realizes with a dull sense of shock that Lan Zhan must have known what he was offering.
If he asked WWX to marry him, he must have been thinking about THAT, too. He must have decided that he wouldn't hate it: sharing a bed, taking off their clothes, dual cultivating.
If he asked WWX to marry him, he must have been thinking about THAT, too. He must have decided that he wouldn't hate it: sharing a bed, taking off their clothes, dual cultivating.
Maybe Lan Zhan even thought he would LIKE it.
WWX feels winded. He hardly even knows what to do with that realization.
WQ reaches out and prods his forehead with her index finger.
WWX feels winded. He hardly even knows what to do with that realization.
WQ reaches out and prods his forehead with her index finger.
"I assume THAT wouldn't be something Hanguang-Jun is unwilling to give. I assume he wouldn't consider THAT part of this method a hardship."
She turns in Lan Zhan's direction.
"I'm talking about your pearl. You only get one during your lifetime."
She turns in Lan Zhan's direction.
"I'm talking about your pearl. You only get one during your lifetime."
"If you give it to him, you couldn't give it to anyone else."
She studies Lan Zhan's face intently.
"If someone else you loved got terribly sick or hurt, you'd be out of luck."
WWX is already shaking his head, opening his mouth. But Lan Zhan beats him to it.
She studies Lan Zhan's face intently.
"If someone else you loved got terribly sick or hurt, you'd be out of luck."
WWX is already shaking his head, opening his mouth. But Lan Zhan beats him to it.
"There is no one else I would wish to give it to."
He sounds calm, firm, and utterly decisive.
WWX's eyes burn. He stares fixedly at the quilt. He's afraid his resolve might waver if he tries to look Lan Zhan in the eye.
"But what about the babies?" he rasps.
He sounds calm, firm, and utterly decisive.
WWX's eyes burn. He stares fixedly at the quilt. He's afraid his resolve might waver if he tries to look Lan Zhan in the eye.
"But what about the babies?" he rasps.
"What if something happens to them, and they need your pearl?"
It's no good, this method. Not if it would cost Lan Zhan his one and only pearl. He has to save that, just in case the babies need it one day. He has to put them first.
It's no good, this method. Not if it would cost Lan Zhan his one and only pearl. He has to save that, just in case the babies need it one day. He has to put them first.
Lan Zhan sighs.
"If the children were sick or injured, the physicians would help them. I could transfer energy to them, if necessary."
Lan Zhan's thumb resumes its gentle pattern over WWX's knuckles.
"If the children were sick or injured, the physicians would help them. I could transfer energy to them, if necessary."
Lan Zhan's thumb resumes its gentle pattern over WWX's knuckles.
"My brother...he has also never given his pearl. Neither has my uncle. They would help the children, if it became necessary."
WWX tries to swallow. His throat feels like sandpaper.
It makes sense. LXC and LQR would definitely do all they could to protect the babies.
WWX tries to swallow. His throat feels like sandpaper.
It makes sense. LXC and LQR would definitely do all they could to protect the babies.
And hopefully, that sort of sacrifice would never be needed, anyway. Hopefully, the babies will never get sick enough or injured enough that they need that sort of extraordinary lifesaving effort.
But WWX still doesn't know how he could allow Lan Zhan to do this for him.
But WWX still doesn't know how he could allow Lan Zhan to do this for him.
He opens his mouth to say so, but WQ cuts him off.
"Don't try to decide now. Either of you!"
She takes the papers back, almost wresting them away from Lan Zhan.
"Just think it over for a while. Talk about it."
She gives WWX's forehead another prod.
"Using your WORDS!"
"Don't try to decide now. Either of you!"
She takes the papers back, almost wresting them away from Lan Zhan.
"Just think it over for a while. Talk about it."
She gives WWX's forehead another prod.
"Using your WORDS!"
She stacks her notes and bundles them away. They disappear into her bag.
WWX stares at the bag as if it contains a weapon. At the moment, he doesn't know whether or not he's grateful to her for offering this.
WWX stares at the bag as if it contains a weapon. At the moment, he doesn't know whether or not he's grateful to her for offering this.
He doesn't want to have to make this decision. Not if Lan Zhan is the one who would have to pay the price.
"It might be hard for you to generate a pearl now, anyway. You're using too much spiritual energy for the children."
WWX shifts in place as WQ addresses Lan Zhan.
"It might be hard for you to generate a pearl now, anyway. You're using too much spiritual energy for the children."
WWX shifts in place as WQ addresses Lan Zhan.
"If you decide to try it, it would probably be better to wait until after the hatching. That means you have at least two weeks to think about it. More, if you factor in your recovery time."
She gives WWX one last poke, gentler this time.
She gives WWX one last poke, gentler this time.
"Don't rush the decision. The document has been in the library for hundreds of years. It's not going anywhere."
WWX nods vaguely. He waits, watching as she gathers up her things and leaves the room. But once the door slides shut behind her, he whirls around to face Lan Zhan.
WWX nods vaguely. He waits, watching as she gathers up her things and leaves the room. But once the door slides shut behind her, he whirls around to face Lan Zhan.
"You shouldn't give up your pearl for me." He speaks quickly, the words tumbling out in a wild storm. "You should save it."
It's the same fear he's been fighting for the last week: that Lan Zhan will make promises and sacrifices for WWX, and then regret them.
It's the same fear he's been fighting for the last week: that Lan Zhan will make promises and sacrifices for WWX, and then regret them.
Dread closes around his heart again. He dips his head, trying to avoid Lan Zhan's eyes.
But Lan Zhan reaches out and takes hold of his chin, lifting it.
"Wei Ying."
His hand on WWX's jaw is so gentle, and his eyes are clear and focused.
But Lan Zhan reaches out and takes hold of his chin, lifting it.
"Wei Ying."
His hand on WWX's jaw is so gentle, and his eyes are clear and focused.
"You are the person I want to give it to. Let me do this. Even if it doesn't work, I wouldn't regret it."
He squeezes WWX's hand again.
"I would only regret not trying."
That thought it horrifying enough: the idea that he could give up his pearl and then the method might fail.
He squeezes WWX's hand again.
"I would only regret not trying."
That thought it horrifying enough: the idea that he could give up his pearl and then the method might fail.
For a moment, the horror of that possibility takes WWX's breath away. He wants to refuse on those grounds alone.
But how can he? There's no trace of doubt or hesitation on Lan Zhan's face. And isn't it his choice, anyway?
WWX stares down at the eggs.
But how can he? There's no trace of doubt or hesitation on Lan Zhan's face. And isn't it his choice, anyway?
WWX stares down at the eggs.
It was what he kept telling WQ when she warned him of the risks of the golden-core transfer.
He said it was his core, so it was his choice. If it failed and he died in the process....well. He said he knew the risks, and he wanted to try anyway. He said it was his decision.
He said it was his core, so it was his choice. If it failed and he died in the process....well. He said he knew the risks, and he wanted to try anyway. He said it was his decision.
He'd be a hypocrite if he tried to take Lan Zhan's choice away now.
And at least there doesn't seem to be any risk of death in this procedure. Nothing would happen to Lan Zhan's core. He could still be strong and healthy for his babies.
And at least there doesn't seem to be any risk of death in this procedure. Nothing would happen to Lan Zhan's core. He could still be strong and healthy for his babies.
In the worst-cases scenario, he would simply give up his pearl and have nothing to show for it.
WWX shuts his eyes.
But Lan Zhan would have to give up something else, too. He'd have to dual-cultivate with WWX, and give WWX some of his spiritual energy.
WWX shuts his eyes.
But Lan Zhan would have to give up something else, too. He'd have to dual-cultivate with WWX, and give WWX some of his spiritual energy.
Of course, that wasn't supposed to hurt. WWX has heard lots of things about dual cultivation, and he's pretty sure it doesn't hurt anybody as long as you do it right.
So that wouldn't put Lan Zhan at risk, either.
Except...
So that wouldn't put Lan Zhan at risk, either.
Except...
Well. It would certainly ruin Lan Zhan's reputation, if he got caught dual-cultivating with the Yiling Patriarch.
It would be better, maybe, if they were married first. At least Lan Zhan couldn't be accused of wantonness and debauchery then.
But...
It would be better, maybe, if they were married first. At least Lan Zhan couldn't be accused of wantonness and debauchery then.
But...
WWX takes three short, shallow breaths. Then he forces out the question he's been afraid to ask openly during the past week.
"You...still want to marry me?"
Lan Zhan's hand stutters against his face. Then it shifts from his jaw to his cheek.
"You...still want to marry me?"
Lan Zhan's hand stutters against his face. Then it shifts from his jaw to his cheek.
Slowly, he moves a strand of hair away from WWX's ear.
WWX risks another look at Lan Zhan's face. His eyes are soft, but somehow sad.
"I will always want that." Lan Zhan's voice is very quiet. "My feelings will never change. But I would not want..."
WWX risks another look at Lan Zhan's face. His eyes are soft, but somehow sad.
"I will always want that." Lan Zhan's voice is very quiet. "My feelings will never change. But I would not want..."
WWX shuts his eyes and ducks his head again.
"I know. I know." He gives Lan Zhan's hand a reassuring squeeze. "Your brother told me about all that. It's not...I don't think...Ah. Lan Zhan."
He tries to make the words come.
"I know. I know." He gives Lan Zhan's hand a reassuring squeeze. "Your brother told me about all that. It's not...I don't think...Ah. Lan Zhan."
He tries to make the words come.
He tries to say it out loud:
I know you'd never force me to marry you, like your father forced your mother. I know you're too good for that. You're too kind and selfless and honorable. You'd never want me to marry you out of guilt or pity or obligation.
I know you'd never force me to marry you, like your father forced your mother. I know you're too good for that. You're too kind and selfless and honorable. You'd never want me to marry you out of guilt or pity or obligation.
But it's too much.
It's too much, having Lan Zhan sit there are stare at him: sad and loving and wistful. Just as if WWX were worth that sort of devotion, from such a wonderful person. He can't speak at all. All he can do is choke out Lan Zhan's name.
It's too much, having Lan Zhan sit there are stare at him: sad and loving and wistful. Just as if WWX were worth that sort of devotion, from such a wonderful person. He can't speak at all. All he can do is choke out Lan Zhan's name.
His throat burns again, but he doesn't let himself cry. He just sits there and takes deep, careful breaths until the words finally come.
"You're not forcing me into anything," he whispers. "Don't ever think that. I'm here because I want to be here. With you and the babies."
"You're not forcing me into anything," he whispers. "Don't ever think that. I'm here because I want to be here. With you and the babies."
He reaches out, lets his hand brush over Little Shimmer's shell.
He wants to see the babies hatch so badly. He wants to clean them off when they come out of the shell, all sticky and damp, just a bunch of squirmy little dragons.
He wants to see the babies hatch so badly. He wants to clean them off when they come out of the shell, all sticky and damp, just a bunch of squirmy little dragons.
He wants to see them change into their human shape. He wants to pinch their chubby arms and legs, and fluff their dark hair.
He wants the babies to drool all over him and kick their feet when he tries to put them down for a nap.
He wants the babies to drool all over him and kick their feet when he tries to put them down for a nap.
He wants to hold onto their small hands and help them as they learn to stand and walk.
He wants to see Lan Zhan smiling from across the room, holding out his hands so the babies can walk from WWX's arms to his.
For a moment, WWX wants it so badly he can't even breathe.
He wants to see Lan Zhan smiling from across the room, holding out his hands so the babies can walk from WWX's arms to his.
For a moment, WWX wants it so badly he can't even breathe.
He has to stop again, fighting for composure.
"I just want to be with all of you," he whispers. "For as long as I can. Even if I have to obey all three thousand rules."
He lets out a hoarse, rough laugh. He started crying again, even though he was trying not to.
"I just want to be with all of you," he whispers. "For as long as I can. Even if I have to obey all three thousand rules."
He lets out a hoarse, rough laugh. He started crying again, even though he was trying not to.
He wipes his nose.
"Even if I can't really earn my keep."
The Lans, he knows, have some sort of ridiculous plan for this. They think WWX could help out as a scribe, copying texts and working up talismans for the cultivators who go into the field.
"Even if I can't really earn my keep."
The Lans, he knows, have some sort of ridiculous plan for this. They think WWX could help out as a scribe, copying texts and working up talismans for the cultivators who go into the field.
LXC even thinks that maybe someday, once his short tenure as the Yiling Patriarch is forgotten, WWX could be a teacher.
It's insane. It could never work.
And yet WWX wants it. He wants it with every fiber of his body.
It's insane. It could never work.
And yet WWX wants it. He wants it with every fiber of his body.
If he could do this, then at least he could feel like he was worth something.
At least he could feel like he was some use to Lan Zhan and his new in-laws.
At least he could feel like he was earning his place at Lan Zhan's side.
At least he could feel like he was some use to Lan Zhan and his new in-laws.
At least he could feel like he was earning his place at Lan Zhan's side.
"Do you wish to marry me?" Lan Zhan asks.
His voice is very soft, but fraught with deep emotion. His palms, clasping WWX's hand, are slick with sweat.
WWX laughs, and it's half a sob.
His voice is very soft, but fraught with deep emotion. His palms, clasping WWX's hand, are slick with sweat.
WWX laughs, and it's half a sob.
It really is such a ridiculous question.
It was ridiculous when WQ asked him what he would've done if Lan Zhan had proposed before all this happened. And it's even more ridiculous now.
It's ridiculous, with Lan Zhan sitting there and looking so beautiful and earnest.
It was ridiculous when WQ asked him what he would've done if Lan Zhan had proposed before all this happened. And it's even more ridiculous now.
It's ridiculous, with Lan Zhan sitting there and looking so beautiful and earnest.
WWX can't imagine how anyone on earth could refuse to marry this man, with his lovely mouth and intense eyes, his fierce determination and his stubborn loyalty.
Maybe it would be more noble to say no. Maybe a good and honorable man would refuse, for Lan Zhan's sake.
Maybe it would be more noble to say no. Maybe a good and honorable man would refuse, for Lan Zhan's sake.
But WWX can't do it. He's not strong enough.
And he's clinging to the hope that WQ might be right. If Lan Zhan won't change his mind, then maybe it's up to WWX to make him happy.
Maybe that can be his purpose in life, even if they can never get his golden core back.
And he's clinging to the hope that WQ might be right. If Lan Zhan won't change his mind, then maybe it's up to WWX to make him happy.
Maybe that can be his purpose in life, even if they can never get his golden core back.
Maybe he can just devote himself to making Lan Zhan and the babies happy.
He thinks he could do a lot worse, in terms of life goals.
"Yes," he chokes. "Yes."
His grip tightens on Lan Zhan's sweat-slickened hand.
"If, if we can make this work..."
He thinks he could do a lot worse, in terms of life goals.
"Yes," he chokes. "Yes."
His grip tightens on Lan Zhan's sweat-slickened hand.
"If, if we can make this work..."
But Lan Zhan cuts him off with a firm shake of his head. He touches WWX's face again, very tenderly.
"If you agree," he murmurs, "then we will marry first."
WWX shuts his eyes. He makes a soft, broken sound.
"Lan Zhan. No. After."
After is better. If it works...
"If you agree," he murmurs, "then we will marry first."
WWX shuts his eyes. He makes a soft, broken sound.
"Lan Zhan. No. After."
After is better. If it works...
WWX still can't let himself hope for success.
But if it works, then he can marry Lan Zhan with a clear conscience. He can give up on demonic cultivation. He can work on rebuilding his core until he's strong enough to wield Suibian again.
But if it works, then he can marry Lan Zhan with a clear conscience. He can give up on demonic cultivation. He can work on rebuilding his core until he's strong enough to wield Suibian again.
He can be a proper husband for Lan Zhan then. He won't shame Lan Zhan, or tarnish his reputation.
But if it doesn't work...
If it doesn't work, they'll have to accept there's really no way to fix this.
But if it doesn't work...
If it doesn't work, they'll have to accept there's really no way to fix this.
If ancient scrolls and dragon's pearls don't help, then his core must be gone forever.
And if that's how it is, then Lan Zhan should have one last chance to take back his offer.
But Lan Zhan shakes his head again. His eyes are sad, but also faintly amused.
And if that's how it is, then Lan Zhan should have one last chance to take back his offer.
But Lan Zhan shakes his head again. His eyes are sad, but also faintly amused.
WWX doesn't see what's funny about all this.
"We will marry first," Lan Zhan says.
His voice is full of quiet surety.
WWX stares down at their joined hands.
"We will marry first," Lan Zhan says.
His voice is full of quiet surety.
WWX stares down at their joined hands.
"Are you worried about your reputation?" he ventures. "We don't have to tell anyone about the whole dual-cultivating thing. Your uncle won't gossip about it, and neither will Wen Qing."
Nobody has to know. If Lan Zhan...does that.
Nobody has to know. If Lan Zhan...does that.
If he really wants to give up his virtue to the Yiling Patriarch, WWX certainly won't run around bragging in the tea-houses. The others won't say anything, either. Lan Zhan doesn't have to marry him for the sake of guarding his honor.
"I don't care about my reputation." Lan Zhan smooths WWX's hair again. Then he drags their joined hands into his lap. "Wei Ying."
WWX fights the sudden urge to laugh. Lan Zhan sounds reproachful, scolding.
WWX fights the sudden urge to laugh. Lan Zhan sounds reproachful, scolding.
There's even a tiny little trace of a whine in his voice, like he thinks WWX is being stubborn about this and he doesn't like it.
Before this moment , WWX had no idea how Lan Zhan would sound during a marital argument.
Before this moment , WWX had no idea how Lan Zhan would sound during a marital argument.
If someone asked him what voice Lan Zhan would use, while in the midst of disagreeing with his husband, WWX would have been clueless.
Now he knows. He thinks Lan Zhan would sound just like this.
Now he knows. He thinks Lan Zhan would sound just like this.
Stubborn. Reproving. And just a bit like a pouty young master who's not used to having people tell him no!
It's unbearably cute. WWX really doesn't think he can say 'no' now that he knows how cute Lan Zhan can be.
It's unbearably cute. WWX really doesn't think he can say 'no' now that he knows how cute Lan Zhan can be.
But he vacillates one last time.
"It might...it might not work." He chews the edge of his lip and takes a breath. "Who knows if this is even.."
His voice hitches.
"It's some five-hundred year old scroll, who knows if...."
"It might...it might not work." He chews the edge of his lip and takes a breath. "Who knows if this is even.."
His voice hitches.
"It's some five-hundred year old scroll, who knows if...."
Lan Zhan presses his thumb to WWX's lower lip.
"I want to marry you either way."
He sounds so SURE about it. Something inside WWX's chest cracks open. His voice cracks, too.
"You don't even care? If it fails? If you're stuck with me, and I'm..."
"I want to marry you either way."
He sounds so SURE about it. Something inside WWX's chest cracks open. His voice cracks, too.
"You don't even care? If it fails? If you're stuck with me, and I'm..."
For just a moment, Lan Zhan's expression wavers. He swallows, and WWX watches his throat work.
But Lan Zhan shakes his head.
"I care for your sake. I care that you lost something you considered valuable. I care..."
But Lan Zhan shakes his head.
"I care for your sake. I care that you lost something you considered valuable. I care..."
Lan Zhan takes a long, shuddering breath. His eyes are wet.
"If you cannot strive toward immortality with me..." His mouth trembles a little. "Then I care very much."
He's quiet for a moment. Then he takes WWX's hand and kisses it.
"If you cannot strive toward immortality with me..." His mouth trembles a little. "Then I care very much."
He's quiet for a moment. Then he takes WWX's hand and kisses it.
"But it doesn't alter my wish to marry you."
WWX's eyes swim with tears. He's almost mad about it. Lan Zhan is so lovely, WWX just wants to stare at him.
And some ridiculous part of his mind keeps telling him he has to remember this moment.
WWX's eyes swim with tears. He's almost mad about it. Lan Zhan is so lovely, WWX just wants to stare at him.
And some ridiculous part of his mind keeps telling him he has to remember this moment.
He has to remember every detail, so he can tell their grandchildren what an outrageous romantic Lan Zhan always was.
Someday, he has to tell the babies what a good proposal Lan Zhan made, and how there were there for it, wiggling around in their shells.
Someday, he has to tell the babies what a good proposal Lan Zhan made, and how there were there for it, wiggling around in their shells.
"If I can only have a few decades as your husband..." Lan Zhan presses WWX's knuckles to his mouth. "Then I want that. I will treasure each day."
When he tells this story, WWX will leave out his own response. He's not as eloquent as Lan Zhan, not by a long shot.
When he tells this story, WWX will leave out his own response. He's not as eloquent as Lan Zhan, not by a long shot.
He cries. Then he starts to laugh. Then he cries again.
He tries to say something on three separate occasions, but his voice shakes and his throat fills with tears.
It takes a long time before he can peel himself out of Lan Zhan's arms and wipe his face.
He tries to say something on three separate occasions, but his voice shakes and his throat fills with tears.
It takes a long time before he can peel himself out of Lan Zhan's arms and wipe his face.
"What on earth is wrong with you, anyway?" He takes Lan Zhan by the shoulders and shakes him. "You could have ANYONE."
The tears are still spilling over. But he starts to laugh again, helpless and half-hysterical.
He'll have a lot of tell the babies.
The tears are still spilling over. But he starts to laugh again, helpless and half-hysterical.
He'll have a lot of tell the babies.
They need to know all about Lan Zhan. How smart and good and wonderful he is. How strong and kind he is. WWX will make sure to tell them all about that.
He'll also have to tell the babies that their father has only two flaws: he's very stubborn, and he has terrible taste in men!
He'll also have to tell the babies that their father has only two flaws: he's very stubborn, and he has terrible taste in men!
But Lan Zhan just shakes his head. A smile flickers across his mouth.
"So could you," he says mildly. "You are extraordinary. Why would you choose me?"
"So could you," he says mildly. "You are extraordinary. Why would you choose me?"
WWX doesn't try to answer that with words. He just kisses Lan Zhan's mouth, his cheeks, his brow, and every other place he can reach.
(Pausing here! Two more sections to go, and then we're done! 💖)
Bump to the masterpost:
Bump to the masterpost:
https://twitter.com/cicerfics/status/1420109222424072199
🐉🥚🥚🥚
They deliver the news in a hurry, giddy and a little incoherent.
WWX tells WQ first...mostly because she's reviewing her notes in the very next room, and he feels like he's going to burst if he doesn't tell someone right away.
They deliver the news in a hurry, giddy and a little incoherent.
WWX tells WQ first...mostly because she's reviewing her notes in the very next room, and he feels like he's going to burst if he doesn't tell someone right away.
After WWX says that he's going to marry Lan Zhan, she stares at him for several seconds.
"Yes," she says blandly. "Of course you are."
Her tone suggests that this announcement hasn't exactly come as a surprise. But WWX is too excited and flustered to care about I-told-you-sos.
"Yes," she says blandly. "Of course you are."
Her tone suggests that this announcement hasn't exactly come as a surprise. But WWX is too excited and flustered to care about I-told-you-sos.
Lan Zhan has the honor of announcing the marriage to his family.
They take it with much better grace than WWX could have ever expected. Apparently, their marriage WAS a foregone conclusion after all.
LXC just looks relieved. He says he'll work on the preparations right away.
They take it with much better grace than WWX could have ever expected. Apparently, their marriage WAS a foregone conclusion after all.
LXC just looks relieved. He says he'll work on the preparations right away.
He's already come very close to bringing the elders around.
The fact that WWX hasn't murdered anybody during his time in CR has pacified the elders. They know that he's spent his time sitting quietly in the Jingshi, looking after Lan Zhan and the eggs.
The fact that WWX hasn't murdered anybody during his time in CR has pacified the elders. They know that he's spent his time sitting quietly in the Jingshi, looking after Lan Zhan and the eggs.
They know, too, that he's agreed to submit to LXC's cleansing music and stop using demonic cultivation.
So the elders might grumble over the marriage, LXC says. But they won't fight too hard against their sect leader's wishes.
So the elders might grumble over the marriage, LXC says. But they won't fight too hard against their sect leader's wishes.
It's not the marriage the elders wanted for Lan Zhan. WWX knows that without being told.
But LXC skates over that little detail, as if it's not even worthy of concern. He says he'll write to Sect Leader Jiang immediately.
But LXC skates over that little detail, as if it's not even worthy of concern. He says he'll write to Sect Leader Jiang immediately.
He'll determine what involvement, if any, Lotus Pier wishes to have in settling the marriage contract.
WWX promptly sprints over to the writing desk to dash off letters to Jiang Cheng and Shijie. If they hear the news of his marriage secondhand, from LXC...
Well.
WWX promptly sprints over to the writing desk to dash off letters to Jiang Cheng and Shijie. If they hear the news of his marriage secondhand, from LXC...
Well.
A week ago, WWX would have wondered if it even mattered to them. He had cast himself off from the Jiangs. He might have believed they wouldn't care too much if he married without telling them.
But their recent letters have altered things a little.
But their recent letters have altered things a little.
And Lan Zhan and WQ agree. They say that Jiang Cheng will be very, very upset if WWX doesn't write to him personally.
So WWX does. He returns to the bedroom just in time to overhear LQR's response to the news.
He sighs a lot and strokes his beard.
So WWX does. He returns to the bedroom just in time to overhear LQR's response to the news.
He sighs a lot and strokes his beard.
But he doesn't offer any objections. He grumbles about how the marriage will have to be celebrated quietly - VERY quietly - to avoid stirring up gossip.
He adds that a quiet wedding will serve a dual purpose: once the babies come, the Lans will have to make an announcement.
He adds that a quiet wedding will serve a dual purpose: once the babies come, the Lans will have to make an announcement.
They'll have to tell everyone that Lan Zhan has three little ones.
And if they've married before the hatching takes place, the Lans can be vague about the wedding date.
Vagueness, LQR says, will forestall awkward questions about the children's parentage and conception.
And if they've married before the hatching takes place, the Lans can be vague about the wedding date.
Vagueness, LQR says, will forestall awkward questions about the children's parentage and conception.
WWX is startled to realize that the Lans intend to KEEP some of their secrets.
The fact that dragons can lay eggs by themselves isn't widely known. Apparently, the Lans don't intend to publicize that little detail. They would rather have people...assume things.
The fact that dragons can lay eggs by themselves isn't widely known. Apparently, the Lans don't intend to publicize that little detail. They would rather have people...assume things.
They would rather have people assume that WWX has been secretly married to Lan Zhan for some time. That the two of them brought forth the eggs together.
WWX doesn't quite know what to do with that discovery. He scratches his scalp and fumbles for the right words.
WWX doesn't quite know what to do with that discovery. He scratches his scalp and fumbles for the right words.
"Ah. So...you don't object? To the wedding? To people thinking that I'm...?"
WWX places a hand, gingerly, on Little Shimmer's shell.
LQR frowns.
WWX places a hand, gingerly, on Little Shimmer's shell.
LQR frowns.
"If you intend to help raise these children, then you must formally enter our clan. You cannot claim the children and remain unmarried to their father! It would be scandalous."
He harrumphs and folds his sleeves.
He harrumphs and folds his sleeves.
"And if you intend to..."
LQR coughs. He clears his throat.
"If you intend to...follow through...with this method I discovered, then you MUST marry first."
He fixes WWX with a stern glare.
"This is nonnegotiable! Promiscuity is forbidden!"
LQR coughs. He clears his throat.
"If you intend to...follow through...with this method I discovered, then you MUST marry first."
He fixes WWX with a stern glare.
"This is nonnegotiable! Promiscuity is forbidden!"
WWX bites down on his tongue to suppress a hysterical laugh. But he nods obediently.
Whatever LQR might think, he really hasn't been guilty of any promiscuity! Not unless kissing Lan Zhan before marriage counts!
Whatever LQR might think, he really hasn't been guilty of any promiscuity! Not unless kissing Lan Zhan before marriage counts!
But he'd rather marry Lan Zhan before trying the dual-cultivation method, anyway.
...If Lan Zhan wants him, that is. If Lan Zhan really doesn't care that it might not work. If Lan Zhan is willing to accept a husband with no golden core and a tattered reputation.
...If Lan Zhan wants him, that is. If Lan Zhan really doesn't care that it might not work. If Lan Zhan is willing to accept a husband with no golden core and a tattered reputation.
If Lan Zhan means what he said...then WWX wants him. He wants him in every possible way.
And he wants to be able to do this for Lan Zhan, too. He wants to marry Lan Zhan respectably, with the permission of his family. He doesn't want Lan Zhan to have any sins on his conscience.
And he wants to be able to do this for Lan Zhan, too. He wants to marry Lan Zhan respectably, with the permission of his family. He doesn't want Lan Zhan to have any sins on his conscience.
LQR departs then, rushing off to help put together the arrangements for an extremely hasty wedding.
He gives both of them another stern look as he departs. From the doorway, LQR looks askance at the bed they've been sharing.
But he really doesn't need to worry.
He gives both of them another stern look as he departs. From the doorway, LQR looks askance at the bed they've been sharing.
But he really doesn't need to worry.
WWX certainly hasn't tried for anything. He's still petrified every time he thinks about dual cultivating with Lan Zhan.
It's too late to go looking for NHS, to ask for more of his books. So WWX just has to trust his memory. He saw a few bits of erotica years ago, anyway.
It's too late to go looking for NHS, to ask for more of his books. So WWX just has to trust his memory. He saw a few bits of erotica years ago, anyway.
And he heard rumors from the older Jiang disciples, the ones who had already done some fooling around. He just hopes that will be enough.
In the meantime, Lan Zhan is much too tired for any bedroom games. He's trying hard to save up as much energy as he can.
In the meantime, Lan Zhan is much too tired for any bedroom games. He's trying hard to save up as much energy as he can.
When he's awake, he studies the scrolls describing the process for producing a pearl.
He tends his eggs for a bit first. But then he scours the cultivation manuals with a single minded fervor.
WWX peeks over his shoulder curiously, wanting to know more about dragon's pearls.
He tends his eggs for a bit first. But then he scours the cultivation manuals with a single minded fervor.
WWX peeks over his shoulder curiously, wanting to know more about dragon's pearls.
But as soon as he takes a look at the diagrams, he chokes.
"You have to throw it up?" he yelps.
They're sitting up in bed together, Lan Zhan resting in the cradle of WWX's legs, his back to WWX's chest.
"You have to throw it up?" he yelps.
They're sitting up in bed together, Lan Zhan resting in the cradle of WWX's legs, his back to WWX's chest.
Lan Zhan has the eggs on his lap, the scrolls unrolled on top. He shifts the eggs so he can look back at WWX.
"No. The pearl is generated in the middle dantian."
His finger traces the diagram.
"It passes up the throat, and appears in my mouth. There is no vomiting involved."
"No. The pearl is generated in the middle dantian."
His finger traces the diagram.
"It passes up the throat, and appears in my mouth. There is no vomiting involved."
That sounds better. But WWX still sputters.
"So...you spit it out?!"
WWX pressed the back of his hand to his mouth, trying to smother another laugh. He's been doing a lot of hysterical laughing since they became formally engaged. Lan Zhan has started to look concerned.
"So...you spit it out?!"
WWX pressed the back of his hand to his mouth, trying to smother another laugh. He's been doing a lot of hysterical laughing since they became formally engaged. Lan Zhan has started to look concerned.
But in WWX's defense, he's had a lot on his mind! The wedding, the hatching...the wedding night, too!
Now he has to imagine Lan Zhan spitting out a valuable pearl and WWX swallowing it down. The mental picture is too strange for words.
Now he has to imagine Lan Zhan spitting out a valuable pearl and WWX swallowing it down. The mental picture is too strange for words.
But he leans forward, peering at the diagram more closely.
No matter how absurd it sounds, he has to take this seriously. And there are some questions he needs to ask before they go any farther.
"It doesn't hurt to make the pearl. Right?"
Lan Zhan shakes his head.
No matter how absurd it sounds, he has to take this seriously. And there are some questions he needs to ask before they go any farther.
"It doesn't hurt to make the pearl. Right?"
Lan Zhan shakes his head.
"The manuals do not mention any pain. It takes focus and energy, but it should not cause physical distress."
Lan Zhan sets the scroll aside with a sigh. He leans back against WWX's chest, shifting the babies into a more comfortable position.
Lan Zhan sets the scroll aside with a sigh. He leans back against WWX's chest, shifting the babies into a more comfortable position.
WWX tries to help, but the babies are getting so big. They're well past the size of an ordinary squash. Now they're as big as a winter melon.
The eggs wiggle and rock all the time. WWX gets the impression that the babies are getting tired of staying stuck inside their shells.
The eggs wiggle and rock all the time. WWX gets the impression that the babies are getting tired of staying stuck inside their shells.
They'll be hatching soon enough.
He shift the eggs on Lan Zhan's lap, then gives each one an extra cuddle.
"When do you think they'll hatch?" he whispers.
Lan Zhan tilts his head to gaze into WWX's eyes.
"Soon."
He shift the eggs on Lan Zhan's lap, then gives each one an extra cuddle.
"When do you think they'll hatch?" he whispers.
Lan Zhan tilts his head to gaze into WWX's eyes.
"Soon."
His hands rest on top of WWX's, pressing them against the eggs.
"They are nearly ready," he murmurs. "I think...two more weeks, at most."
WWX buries his face in Lan Zhan's hair.
He's not ready. He's not ready, but he's so impatient all the same.
"They are nearly ready," he murmurs. "I think...two more weeks, at most."
WWX buries his face in Lan Zhan's hair.
He's not ready. He's not ready, but he's so impatient all the same.
He wants them to hatch right now...and he wants at least another year to prepare!
WWX doesn't know how to untangle the confused jumble of emotions in his chest: joy and anticipation and bone-crushing terror.
But he tucks his face against Lan Zhan's neck.
WWX doesn't know how to untangle the confused jumble of emotions in his chest: joy and anticipation and bone-crushing terror.
But he tucks his face against Lan Zhan's neck.
He breathes deeply until he feels more calm.
"When..." His voice comes out raspy and he pauses to clear it. "When do you want to do...the thing? The pearl, and all that? After the first month party, do you think...?"
Lan Zhan hums. His thumb strokes over WWX's wrist.
"When..." His voice comes out raspy and he pauses to clear it. "When do you want to do...the thing? The pearl, and all that? After the first month party, do you think...?"
Lan Zhan hums. His thumb strokes over WWX's wrist.
"Before," he says.
"Before?!"
WWX can't quite keep the surprise from his voice. He straightens up, licking his lips.
"How...how much sooner? Remember, your uncle said he wants two weeks to finish the marriage preparations."
"Before?!"
WWX can't quite keep the surprise from his voice. He straightens up, licking his lips.
"How...how much sooner? Remember, your uncle said he wants two weeks to finish the marriage preparations."
LQR said they weren't allowed to do any dual-cultivating until they were properly married. For once, WWX doesn't feel inclined to break LQR's rules.
And Lan Zhan's wedding can't be arranged quickly. Not even if it's a private wedding that nobody is supposed to know about yet.
And Lan Zhan's wedding can't be arranged quickly. Not even if it's a private wedding that nobody is supposed to know about yet.
He deserves a good wedding, after all.
And Lan Zhan said the babies might come within two weeks. If they decide to be little rascals, they might come before the wedding can take place.
WWX rubs the eggs ruefully.
And Lan Zhan said the babies might come within two weeks. If they decide to be little rascals, they might come before the wedding can take place.
WWX rubs the eggs ruefully.
"The babies might beat him to the punch! Then we'll have newborns to look after."
He swallows hard, picturing it.
"We'll be so busy. Shouldn't we wait a little longer for the rest?"
WWX can wait. He can wait as long as Lan Zhan likes.
He swallows hard, picturing it.
"We'll be so busy. Shouldn't we wait a little longer for the rest?"
WWX can wait. He can wait as long as Lan Zhan likes.
If Lan Zhan needs time to generate the pearl, that's fine. WWX still won't let himself hope that it'll do any good, anyway. He's hanging his hopes for happiness on the wedding, on the eggs hatching, on waking up next to Lan Zhan each morning.
He won't let himself hope for more.
He won't let himself hope for more.
But Lan Zhan shifts again. He lifts the eggs off his lap, setting them aside. Then he turns to face WWX. He rests a hand against WWX's chest.
"We...need not wait for Uncle." His gazes steadily into WWX's eyes. "Not unless you would prefer to do so."
"We...need not wait for Uncle." His gazes steadily into WWX's eyes. "Not unless you would prefer to do so."
Heat rushes up WWX's neck. He catches Lan Zhan's hand in both of his.
"Lan Zhan!" He laughs, confused and embarrassed and strangely titillated. "Ah, what are you even suggesting? We promised him! No promiscuity!"
"Lan Zhan!" He laughs, confused and embarrassed and strangely titillated. "Ah, what are you even suggesting? We promised him! No promiscuity!"
He expects Lan Zhan to huff out a denial or protest that he wasn't implying any such thing.
But Lan Zhan just stares. His expression is strangely, painfully earnest.
"We promised him we would marry first," Lan Zhan admits. "But we do not need to wait for the elders."
But Lan Zhan just stares. His expression is strangely, painfully earnest.
"We promised him we would marry first," Lan Zhan admits. "But we do not need to wait for the elders."
"We do not need to finish negotiations with Jiang Wanyin. The wedding...it could take place whenever we chose."
WWX stares back, caught between laughter and tears.
He's wanted this, too. His parents eloped, and WWX always thought that was so romantic.
WWX stares back, caught between laughter and tears.
He's wanted this, too. His parents eloped, and WWX always thought that was so romantic.
But he never thought Lan Zhan would agree to something like this. And while the idea of an elopement sends a secret thrill through WWX's body, it doesn't really make any sense.
"An elopement?" He laughs quietly. "Where would we go? Are we going to carry the little ones along?"
"An elopement?" He laughs quietly. "Where would we go? Are we going to carry the little ones along?"
Gently, he smooths a strand of hair away from Lan Zhan's beautiful face.
He can just picture it: the two of them stumbling along, weary and exhausted, lugging the eggs. WWX almost bursts out laughing, but he doesn't want Lan Zhan to think he's the butt of the joke.
He can just picture it: the two of them stumbling along, weary and exhausted, lugging the eggs. WWX almost bursts out laughing, but he doesn't want Lan Zhan to think he's the butt of the joke.
Lan Zhan's next words knock all the laughter form his chest, anyway.
"We don't need to elope. We could simply...take our bows here. And then generate the pearl and finish the ritual another time."
WWX's hand freezes against Lan Zhan's cheek.
"We don't need to elope. We could simply...take our bows here. And then generate the pearl and finish the ritual another time."
WWX's hand freezes against Lan Zhan's cheek.
Lan Zhan means it. It's written all over his face. He means what he's saying. He's stand by his offer, if WWX says yes. They'd marry in secret, alone in the Jingshi, with nobody but the babies as witnesses.
They'd marry without any of the nice things Lan Zhan deserves at his wedding: the red silk, the banquet, the jewels and formal procession and musicians.
WWX draws in a sharp breath. It sticks in his throat.
It's so selfish to even consider saying yes. But he wants it so badly.
WWX draws in a sharp breath. It sticks in his throat.
It's so selfish to even consider saying yes. But he wants it so badly.
Lan Zhan deserves a proper wedding. If WWX can manage it, he'll see that Lan Zhan gets one.
The Lans are hurrying around, trying to put together some kind of respectable ceremony. WWX will put on his dress robes and visit the Lan shrines. He'll do everything properly, in time.
The Lans are hurrying around, trying to put together some kind of respectable ceremony. WWX will put on his dress robes and visit the Lan shrines. He'll do everything properly, in time.
But right now, he wants this.
He wants to marry Lan Zhan in private, in the warm cocoon of the Jingshi. He wants them to take their bows, and then climb back into bed with the eggs. He wants to go to bed tonight as Lan Zhan's husband.
He wants to marry Lan Zhan in private, in the warm cocoon of the Jingshi. He wants them to take their bows, and then climb back into bed with the eggs. He wants to go to bed tonight as Lan Zhan's husband.
He wants to know that they're tied together, and nothing can ever tear them apart again.
But he's let the silence stretch out too long. The hopeful look on Lan Zhan's face has started to fade, replaced by uncertainty.
"If you would rather wait for a formal wedding..."
But he's let the silence stretch out too long. The hopeful look on Lan Zhan's face has started to fade, replaced by uncertainty.
"If you would rather wait for a formal wedding..."
WWX doesn't let him finish. He takes Lan Zhan's face in his hands, and kisses him.
It still feels strange to do that. It feels like he's stolen something, taken a liberty he has no right to take. But he kisses Lan Zhan three times, until that uncertain look disappears.
It still feels strange to do that. It feels like he's stolen something, taken a liberty he has no right to take. But he kisses Lan Zhan three times, until that uncertain look disappears.
Then he pulls back, his hands trembling against Lan Zhan's jaw.
"You're so ridiculous!" His voice is rough, husky. "Who cares about red silk and wine, and all the trappings?"
Lan Zhan smiles. Just a small, precious little smile, but WWX could live on that forever.
"You're so ridiculous!" His voice is rough, husky. "Who cares about red silk and wine, and all the trappings?"
Lan Zhan smiles. Just a small, precious little smile, but WWX could live on that forever.
WWX sways forward helplessly, tucking his face against Lan Zhan's shoulder again.
"But you deserve a nice wedding, you know!" WWX adds.
Lan Zhan wraps his arms around WWX's waist. WWX can feel him shrug.
"We will still have one," he says. "But I don't want to wait any longer."
"But you deserve a nice wedding, you know!" WWX adds.
Lan Zhan wraps his arms around WWX's waist. WWX can feel him shrug.
"We will still have one," he says. "But I don't want to wait any longer."
WWX shuts his eyes. His throat is suddenly aching, as if he's about to burst into tears. He doesn't know why. This is such a happy moment. Probably the best moment of his life.
"Should we do it now?" He clears his throat and reaches up to scrub at his eyes. "The bows?"
"Should we do it now?" He clears his throat and reaches up to scrub at his eyes. "The bows?"
"We don't have to tell anyone. We could keep it a secret!"
LXC and LQR have certainly been working hard, trying to put together a rushed wedding. WWX doesn't think they'll be too happy if they found out about this.
So he and Lan Zhan will have to keep it a secret.
LXC and LQR have certainly been working hard, trying to put together a rushed wedding. WWX doesn't think they'll be too happy if they found out about this.
So he and Lan Zhan will have to keep it a secret.
But he doesn't mind. He likes the idea of having a special secret that no one but Lan Zhan knows.
WWX has been keeping so many secrets over the last few months. None of them have been very nice. It would be something, to finally have a happy secret to share.
WWX has been keeping so many secrets over the last few months. None of them have been very nice. It would be something, to finally have a happy secret to share.
Lan Zhan nods.
And then he pushes himself up and off the bed.
Lan Zhan is still undressed, his modesty protected by only a thin sheet. WWX laughs over that, because he can't help it. But he wouldn't have it any other way. For a secret marriage, this is just right.
And then he pushes himself up and off the bed.
Lan Zhan is still undressed, his modesty protected by only a thin sheet. WWX laughs over that, because he can't help it. But he wouldn't have it any other way. For a secret marriage, this is just right.
They cobble together a few things to use as a makeshift shrine. They can't go staggering off to the Lan ancestral shrine, and WWX doesn't even have anything left of his parents.
But Lan Zhan has a hair comb that used to belong to his mother and a sample of his father's writing.
But Lan Zhan has a hair comb that used to belong to his mother and a sample of his father's writing.
WWX settles for asking his parents to please, please, please bear witness to their son's marriage, even if he couldn't provide a better shrine for them to return to. Lan Zhan squeezes his hand.
Then they take their bows: one, two, three.
And then it's done.
Then they take their bows: one, two, three.
And then it's done.
All at once, he's a married man.
WWX decides that his first act as a married man should be to kiss his husband breathless. So he does that. And then he starts to laugh all over again.
"Wait until I tell our grandchildren that you were stark naked when you married me!"
WWX decides that his first act as a married man should be to kiss his husband breathless. So he does that. And then he starts to laugh all over again.
"Wait until I tell our grandchildren that you were stark naked when you married me!"
He plucks at the sheet around Lan Zhan's shoulders.
Lan Zhan only huffs. Then he takes his turn kissing HIS husband breathless, and he does a very good job.
WWX's head spins. It takes him a moment to realize that Lan Zhan has suddenly pulled away.
Lan Zhan only huffs. Then he takes his turn kissing HIS husband breathless, and he does a very good job.
WWX's head spins. It takes him a moment to realize that Lan Zhan has suddenly pulled away.
He blinks.
Lan Zhan has shifted away from their makeshift shrine, and he's tugging at a floorboard.
"There is one more thing," Lan Zhan says.
And then he pulls up one of the boards, revealing a hidden cache. And he pulls out, of all things, a bottle of wine.
Lan Zhan has shifted away from their makeshift shrine, and he's tugging at a floorboard.
"There is one more thing," Lan Zhan says.
And then he pulls up one of the boards, revealing a hidden cache. And he pulls out, of all things, a bottle of wine.
WWX intends to give a theatrical gasp. But he snatches at the bottle, and there's a real edge of shock to his voice when he speaks.
"Lan Zhan! What's this? How long has this been here?"
He uncorks the bottle and gives it a sniff. He half expects to find water or juice.
"Lan Zhan! What's this? How long has this been here?"
He uncorks the bottle and gives it a sniff. He half expects to find water or juice.
But the heavenly smell of Emperor's Smile greets him, and his mouth drops open.
"Lan Zhan!" He takes his brand-new husband by the shoulders and shakes him. "This is wine! In Cloud Recesses! You're a rule-breaker!"
A smile flickers over Lan Zhan's face.
"Lan Zhan!" He takes his brand-new husband by the shoulders and shakes him. "This is wine! In Cloud Recesses! You're a rule-breaker!"
A smile flickers over Lan Zhan's face.
It's a little sly, and entirely unrepentant.
WWX didn't know Lan Zhan knew how to make such a face. He stares, enthralled.
"I had intended to save it for you," Lan Zhan admits. "Whenever I saw you again, I hoped..."
The tightness in WWX's throat is back.
WWX didn't know Lan Zhan knew how to make such a face. He stares, enthralled.
"I had intended to save it for you," Lan Zhan admits. "Whenever I saw you again, I hoped..."
The tightness in WWX's throat is back.
If the elders think he's a bad influence on Lan Zhan, they're probably right. He must have been a bad influence from the start. Why else would Lan Zhan have smuggled wine into Cloud Recesses and hid it in the Jingshi, even before WWX returned? Even before the eggs came?
He wants to ask, 'Did you really like me so much? Even way back then? You liked me so much you broke the rules and brought this here for me?'
But of course, it would be a ridiculous question. A very ridiculous question, to ask his brand new husband!
But of course, it would be a ridiculous question. A very ridiculous question, to ask his brand new husband!
He presses a kiss to Lan Zhan's temple, then wraps his arms around Lan Zhan's body.
"Well, well. Did you know it would be what we used during our wedding ceremony?"
Lan Zhan hugs him back.
"Mm. I did not know. But I hoped for..."
His breath catches. WWX can feel it.
"Well, well. Did you know it would be what we used during our wedding ceremony?"
Lan Zhan hugs him back.
"Mm. I did not know. But I hoped for..."
His breath catches. WWX can feel it.
"I hoped for...something like that."
WWX wants to cry all over again. It's too much: the idea of Lan Zhan liking him, while WWX kept pushing him away and refusing to talk to him.
The idea of Lan Zhan spending months searching the wilderness with JC, hoping against hope.
WWX wants to cry all over again. It's too much: the idea of Lan Zhan liking him, while WWX kept pushing him away and refusing to talk to him.
The idea of Lan Zhan spending months searching the wilderness with JC, hoping against hope.
Lan Zhan, hiding this wine under his bedroom floor, and wishing WWX were there to drink it.
It's too much. WWX kisses his husband again. Then he takes the wine with shaky hands.
They don't have any proper wine cups. But they make do with a couple teacups left over from supper.
It's too much. WWX kisses his husband again. Then he takes the wine with shaky hands.
They don't have any proper wine cups. But they make do with a couple teacups left over from supper.
WWX pours out a bit for both of them, but he won't let Lan Zhan actually drink it.
"You can't have any! You're feeding the babies! Who knows what it would do?"
WWX casts a look at the eggs, waiting on the quilts.
"You'd probably make them all loopy. Just pretend for now!"
"You can't have any! You're feeding the babies! Who knows what it would do?"
WWX casts a look at the eggs, waiting on the quilts.
"You'd probably make them all loopy. Just pretend for now!"
The wine is sweet and light on his tongue. But once they've finished crossing cups, WWX puts it away.
He'll savor it another time. When Lan Zhan is done nesting...when the babies are all hatched and big enough to be handed over to nursemaids...then they can savor it together.
He'll savor it another time. When Lan Zhan is done nesting...when the babies are all hatched and big enough to be handed over to nursemaids...then they can savor it together.
They crawl back into bed and nestle beneath the quilts. The eggs rest between them, and WWX wishes he had eight more hands. Two hands isn't enough to touch his new husband. Two hands isn't enough to touch all the babies. He wants to touch all of them everywhere.
He settles for stroking Lan Zhan's face and staring into his eyes.
Lan Zhan stares back. His eyes are very soft, and he's quiet for a long time.
"You are my husband now," he murmurs, after a while.
Lan Zhan stares back. His eyes are very soft, and he's quiet for a long time.
"You are my husband now," he murmurs, after a while.
WWX lets out a soft, bewildered laugh.
"I am."
Lan Zhan's husband. Lan Wangji's husband. Hanguang-Jun's husband! That's how WWX will be known nowadays!
He can't take it in. But it's true now. And no matter what the elders have to say about it, it can't be undone.
"I am."
Lan Zhan's husband. Lan Wangji's husband. Hanguang-Jun's husband! That's how WWX will be known nowadays!
He can't take it in. But it's true now. And no matter what the elders have to say about it, it can't be undone.
He's afraid that if he thinks about this too long, he'll start crying again. Happy tears, but still. Crying is not an auspicious thing for a wedding night!
So he leans in and peppers kisses over Lan Zhan's face.
"Ah," he sighs. "What a trial. I was lured in by a beautiful man!"
So he leans in and peppers kisses over Lan Zhan's face.
"Ah," he sighs. "What a trial. I was lured in by a beautiful man!"
"And then, on our very wedding night, I found out that my husband is a villain who smuggles wine into Cloud Recesses."
WWX lets out a long, mournful sigh.
"He did this even though he knows it's against the rules! What should I do with such a person?"
WWX lets out a long, mournful sigh.
"He did this even though he knows it's against the rules! What should I do with such a person?"
He expects Lan Zhan to sigh or smile, or maybe roll his eyes. He expects Lan Zhan to remind his new husband that he's a rule breaker, too.
But Lan Zhan is never done surprising him. He reaches up to caress WWX's face.
"You should love him," he whispers. "It's what I did."
But Lan Zhan is never done surprising him. He reaches up to caress WWX's face.
"You should love him," he whispers. "It's what I did."
Tears aren't lucky for a wedding night, maybe. But a few spill over anyway. WWX can't help that.
Lan Zhan wipes them away. When he's done, WWX kisses his fingers.
"Go to sleep already!" He musses Lan Zhan's hair. "You're tired out. We'll finish up the rituals another time."
Lan Zhan wipes them away. When he's done, WWX kisses his fingers.
"Go to sleep already!" He musses Lan Zhan's hair. "You're tired out. We'll finish up the rituals another time."
He doesn't care about the rest. The formal wedding can wait, and so can the whole business with the pearl. If he's Lan Zhan's husband, then he can bear the wait very patiently.
And Lan Zhan's eyes are already starting to close.
But Lan Zhan squeezes his hand.
And Lan Zhan's eyes are already starting to close.
But Lan Zhan squeezes his hand.
"I have asked my brother to give me additional infusions of spiritual energy," he murmurs, "for the next three days."
WWX blinks.
"Okay."
His voice is a little perplexed, even to his own ears. Lan Zhan hears it. He forces his eyes open and focuses on WWX's face.
WWX blinks.
"Okay."
His voice is a little perplexed, even to his own ears. Lan Zhan hears it. He forces his eyes open and focuses on WWX's face.
"I believe it will be enough," he whispers. "Then I will be able produce the pearl."
WWX swallows hard.
But he knows better than to argue. He's accepted the truth already: his husband is the most wonderful, and the most stubborn, man alive.
WWX swallows hard.
But he knows better than to argue. He's accepted the truth already: his husband is the most wonderful, and the most stubborn, man alive.
It's no good trying to argue when Lan Zhan has made up his mind.
So WWX just wraps his arms around Lan Zhan, tugging him close. The eggs shift in between their bodies.
"Don't hurt yourself." He grasps Lan Zhan's jaw tightly, holding eye contact. "Okay? That's not allowed."
So WWX just wraps his arms around Lan Zhan, tugging him close. The eggs shift in between their bodies.
"Don't hurt yourself." He grasps Lan Zhan's jaw tightly, holding eye contact. "Okay? That's not allowed."
"And don't risk the babies. If this will make you too tired to feed them..."
WWX catches his breath. His chest aches. But he shakes it off, throwing as much iron into his voice as he can.
"Put the babies first. Always. Promise me."
WWX catches his breath. His chest aches. But he shakes it off, throwing as much iron into his voice as he can.
"Put the babies first. Always. Promise me."
Lan Zhan curls his fingers around WWX's wrist. His eyes are calm and steady.
"I would never harm them. I can do this."
He sounds so sure.
And what can WWX do except trust his husband?
"I would never harm them. I can do this."
He sounds so sure.
And what can WWX do except trust his husband?
Feeding three babies and producing a pearl all at once...it sounds like too much for anyone. Even with the help of his family, providing him with extra spiritual energy, it sounds like too much.
But Lan Zhan is a very special person. He might be capable of anything.
But Lan Zhan is a very special person. He might be capable of anything.
WWX refuses to start their marriage by doubting his husband's capabilities.
So he just presses a kiss to Lan Zhan's forehead, and he watches over his husband as he falls asleep.
So he just presses a kiss to Lan Zhan's forehead, and he watches over his husband as he falls asleep.
(The wedding and the ~consummation~ were supposed to be one part, but this got long and I'm tired. So I'll finish this section another time! Hang in there!)
🐉🥚🥚🥚
(Heads up: this part is NSFW!)
(Heads up: this part is NSFW!)
Over the next few days, LWJ receives several visits from his brother to bolster his energy levels. He allows the physicians to examine him,to determine whether he has rebuilt his strength. Neither Uncle nor the physicians ask why he feels the need for additional examinations.
The hatching draws near. Perhaps they feel that LWJ's desire to build up a reserve of spiritual energy makes sense.
But his brother gives him a suspicious, knowing look. LWJ fears that his brother might join forces with Wei Ying, urging a delay until the children are hatched.
But his brother gives him a suspicious, knowing look. LWJ fears that his brother might join forces with Wei Ying, urging a delay until the children are hatched.
But his brother doesn't ask whether LWJ is truly planning to produce a pearl while in the midst of hatching.
And if LWJ distracts his brother by letting him hold the eggs, pointing out how active the children have become...
Well. LWJ can't feel too guilty over it.
And if LWJ distracts his brother by letting him hold the eggs, pointing out how active the children have become...
Well. LWJ can't feel too guilty over it.
But he does confide in WQ. It would be best, for Wei Ying's sake, to have at least one physician who is aware of their attempts.
She grumbles and sighs, but she doesn't pressure him to wait. She only tells him to summon her immediately, if anything seems to be going wrong.
She grumbles and sighs, but she doesn't pressure him to wait. She only tells him to summon her immediately, if anything seems to be going wrong.
LWJ agrees. But he's glad that WQ has recently relocated to a small room in the physician's quarters.
After all, he would prefer not to consummate his marriage while WQ is waiting in an adjoining room.
After all, he would prefer not to consummate his marriage while WQ is waiting in an adjoining room.
When they day comes, LWJ feels ready. His skin tingles from his brother's repeated infusions. His body feels almost over-full, excess energy cycling furiously through his meridians.
He siphons some off by feeding the children. Then he meditates.
He siphons some off by feeding the children. Then he meditates.
He tries to bring himself to a serene, centered state of mind. When he's finished, he sits cross-legged in the bed, the sheets pooling on his lap.
Wei Ying perches on the edge of the mattress, pale and anxious.
"Don't hurt yourself," he says, again.
Wei Ying perches on the edge of the mattress, pale and anxious.
"Don't hurt yourself," he says, again.
He has given this particular extortion at least a dozen times in the past few days.
LWJ squeezes his hand fondly and nods. But Wei Ying isn't satisfied.
"If it hurts, you have to stop. If you're getting too tired and won't be able to support the babies, you have to give up."
LWJ squeezes his hand fondly and nods. But Wei Ying isn't satisfied.
"If it hurts, you have to stop. If you're getting too tired and won't be able to support the babies, you have to give up."
"I mean it!" he adds, with a frown. "If you hurt yourself, I won't forgive you!"
LWJ suspects that he has failed to appear suitably chastened and submissive. He nods again, and tried to look like an obedient husband who intends to prioritize his own health.
LWJ suspects that he has failed to appear suitably chastened and submissive. He nods again, and tried to look like an obedient husband who intends to prioritize his own health.
He doesn't believe Wei Ying for a moment. Wei Ying is entirely too inclined to forgive people.
But he WOULD be deeply upset if LWJ injured himself in an attempt to rebuild Wei Ying's core. So LWJ tries to take this warning to heart.
But he WOULD be deeply upset if LWJ injured himself in an attempt to rebuild Wei Ying's core. So LWJ tries to take this warning to heart.
"I will stop and consult with Wen Qing if I experience any pain or unusual fatigue," he promises.
Wei Ying rewards him with a kiss. Then he huddles on the edge of the bed looking anxious and fretful.
LWJ squeezes his husband's hand one last time before withdrawing his own.
Wei Ying rewards him with a kiss. Then he huddles on the edge of the bed looking anxious and fretful.
LWJ squeezes his husband's hand one last time before withdrawing his own.
He would like to provide comfort and reassurance throughout this process, but it will take all his focus to produce a pearl. He must turn his attention inward for now.
Later, there will be time to soothe Wei Ying.
Later, there will be time for many things.
Later, there will be time to soothe Wei Ying.
Later, there will be time for many things.
LWJ draws his attention to the deepest core of his being, and he begins to work.
He has studied every document the library has to offer on this topic. He knows how to do complex cultivation work, and he has excellent focus. So he feel sure that he can do this.
He has studied every document the library has to offer on this topic. He knows how to do complex cultivation work, and he has excellent focus. So he feel sure that he can do this.
It is, admittedly, unusual for a dragon his age to produce a pearl. But it isn't impossible. There are several documented cases.
LWJ isn't sure that a nesting dragon has ever done it, but that is hardly proof that it can't be done.
LWJ isn't sure that a nesting dragon has ever done it, but that is hardly proof that it can't be done.
If he must be the first to accomplish it, then he will. He refuses to fail his new family.
It takes time, though. It takes time, and painstaking focus. Slowly, LWJ loses touch with his body, with the world outside.
It takes time, though. It takes time, and painstaking focus. Slowly, LWJ loses touch with his body, with the world outside.
He can think of nothing but his pulsing core, the delicate manipulation of spiritual energy within his body.
But gradually, his attention comes back to his body. There is a sharp pain in his chest, and it moves to his throat.
But gradually, his attention comes back to his body. There is a sharp pain in his chest, and it moves to his throat.
LWJ maintains such a narrow focus on the tight bundle of spiritual energy, he almost forgets what the pain means.
But he comes back to himself just in time to feel something hard rising in his throat, pressing into his soft palate.
But he comes back to himself just in time to feel something hard rising in his throat, pressing into his soft palate.
He opens his eyes, and has a sudden temptation to cough. In trying to suppress a cough, he gags a little.
Then, all at once, the pearl tumbles into his mouth. He parts his lips, and the pearl drops into his cupped hands.
Then, all at once, the pearl tumbles into his mouth. He parts his lips, and the pearl drops into his cupped hands.
He stares down in wonder.
Strands of saliva cling to the pearl. It isn't nearly as attractive a sight as LWJ had expected. He had imagined a small, glistening, creamy pearl.
The pearl in his hands is the size of a kumquat, and a murky grayish-blue in color.
Strands of saliva cling to the pearl. It isn't nearly as attractive a sight as LWJ had expected. He had imagined a small, glistening, creamy pearl.
The pearl in his hands is the size of a kumquat, and a murky grayish-blue in color.
It looks more like his eggs than something a craftsman would place in an expensive piece of jewelry.
But it throbs with spiritual energy. The pearl almost burns his hands.
LWJ blinks, and turns to his husband. He finds Wei Ying staring at the pearl with shocked eyes.
But it throbs with spiritual energy. The pearl almost burns his hands.
LWJ blinks, and turns to his husband. He finds Wei Ying staring at the pearl with shocked eyes.
"Lan Zhan...you did it!"
Wei Ying sounds stunned. His jaw is slack.
Years ago, LWJ might have taken offense. He was a sensitive and prickly boy. He might have interpreted Wei Ying astonishment as an insult...a expression of doubt in LWJ's capabilities.
Wei Ying sounds stunned. His jaw is slack.
Years ago, LWJ might have taken offense. He was a sensitive and prickly boy. He might have interpreted Wei Ying astonishment as an insult...a expression of doubt in LWJ's capabilities.
Now, he knows better.
He has seen the timid uncertainty lurkeing in Wei Ying's eyes over the past few days. He knows Wei Ying hasn't allowed himself to hope that their attempt at restoring his core might be successful. Wei Ying has steeled himself, preparing for failure.
He has seen the timid uncertainty lurkeing in Wei Ying's eyes over the past few days. He knows Wei Ying hasn't allowed himself to hope that their attempt at restoring his core might be successful. Wei Ying has steeled himself, preparing for failure.
But LWJ will not allow this process to fail.
He takes Wei Ying's hands, and deposits the pearl into his palms. Wei Ying's body gives a tiny shudder, and his eyes grow wet. LWJ tries to guide the pearl to his mouth, but Wei Ying stops him.
He takes Wei Ying's hands, and deposits the pearl into his palms. Wei Ying's body gives a tiny shudder, and his eyes grow wet. LWJ tries to guide the pearl to his mouth, but Wei Ying stops him.
"Lan Zhan."
He tries to say something more, but his voice breaks.
It is no matter. Lan Zhan knows what he would say. So he takes Wei Ying's face in his hands and kisses him fiercely. He tries to let the kiss speak for itself, and tell Wei Ying everything he needs to know.
He tries to say something more, but his voice breaks.
It is no matter. Lan Zhan knows what he would say. So he takes Wei Ying's face in his hands and kisses him fiercely. He tries to let the kiss speak for itself, and tell Wei Ying everything he needs to know.
If they do not succeed in rebuilding Wei Ying's core, LWJ will be heartbroken. He will have to reconcile himself to Wei Ying's mortality. He will have to accept that his husband will wither and age and die.
But even so, LWJ will never regret their marriage.
But even so, LWJ will never regret their marriage.
He will build a life with Wei Ying, build a family. They will have their children, and a home, and each other. They will be safe, together, happy. LWJ will still have much to be grateful for.
When he draws back, Wei Ying is a little dazed.
When he draws back, Wei Ying is a little dazed.
His eyes have a suspicious sheen, and his lips curve into an uncertain smile. But he lets LWJ tip the pearl into his mouth, and he swallows it.
LWJ watches his throat work. He can almost see the pearl sliding down, settling into Wei Ying's belly.
LWJ watches his throat work. He can almost see the pearl sliding down, settling into Wei Ying's belly.
Wei Ying shuts his eyes, and he doesn't speak for a long time.
LWJ, clutching his hands, starts to grow afraid.
"Wei Ying?"
He shakes Wei Ying's hands gently. Then he touches Wei Ying's cheeks, his jaw. He tries to make Wei Ying open his eyes.
LWJ, clutching his hands, starts to grow afraid.
"Wei Ying?"
He shakes Wei Ying's hands gently. Then he touches Wei Ying's cheeks, his jaw. He tries to make Wei Ying open his eyes.
There's subtle strain on Wei Ying's face. His brow is furrowed.
LWJ is afraid that his husband is in pain, and unwilling to admit it. He's afraid something has gone wrong. He opens his mouth to call for help.
LWJ is afraid that his husband is in pain, and unwilling to admit it. He's afraid something has gone wrong. He opens his mouth to call for help.
But Wei Ying opens his eyes. The unshed tears suddenly spill over.
"Lan Zhan."
He settles his hand over his belly, over the thin surgical scar that LWJ was permitted to touch last night. Then he sways forward, his forehead falling against LWJ's shoulder.
And he cries.
"Lan Zhan."
He settles his hand over his belly, over the thin surgical scar that LWJ was permitted to touch last night. Then he sways forward, his forehead falling against LWJ's shoulder.
And he cries.
LWJ doesn't know what it would feel like to have his golden core ripped from his body.
He doesn't know what it feels like to have a pearl, brimming with spiritual energy, settle into his empty core.
He doesn't know how he would respond if he felt the echo of what he had lost.
He doesn't know what it feels like to have a pearl, brimming with spiritual energy, settle into his empty core.
He doesn't know how he would respond if he felt the echo of what he had lost.
He doesn't know how he would feel at that first pulse of spiritual energy within his body, something he had never expected to feel again.
But he can imagine. And when he imagines such a thing, he's not surprised that Wei Ying weeps.
But he can imagine. And when he imagines such a thing, he's not surprised that Wei Ying weeps.
He winds his arms around Wei Ying, dragging his husband down to lie on top of him.
The rush of adrenaline recedes. His body begins to feel the strain of what he's done. LWJ is exhausted, more exhausted than he's ever been in his life. His limbs seem to be made of lead.
The rush of adrenaline recedes. His body begins to feel the strain of what he's done. LWJ is exhausted, more exhausted than he's ever been in his life. His limbs seem to be made of lead.
He can't keep his eyes open.
But he manages, through sheer force of will, to turn his head and kiss Wei Ying's temple. His fingers rub the knot of tension between Wei Ying's shoulder blades. He shifts his knees, letting Wei Ying settle more comfortably on top of him.
But he manages, through sheer force of will, to turn his head and kiss Wei Ying's temple. His fingers rub the knot of tension between Wei Ying's shoulder blades. He shifts his knees, letting Wei Ying settle more comfortably on top of him.
Then exhaustion drags him under, and he sleeps for a very long time.
He wakes, briefly, four times. Wei Ying is at his side, watching with soft, anxious eyes. He spoons soup into LWJ's mouth and washes his face and hands with a warm cloth.
He wakes, briefly, four times. Wei Ying is at his side, watching with soft, anxious eyes. He spoons soup into LWJ's mouth and washes his face and hands with a warm cloth.
His brother comes three times to give him more energy. His mouth is a little compressed.
He must know what LWJ has done, why he's drained himself of energy. But he doesn't offer any reproaches. He just transfers as much of his own spiritual energy as he can.
He must know what LWJ has done, why he's drained himself of energy. But he doesn't offer any reproaches. He just transfers as much of his own spiritual energy as he can.
Then, when he's done, he tucks LWJ beneath the quilts once more.
LWJ manages to feed the eggs during each awakening. His children are restless and fussy. They want to hatch, LWJ can feel it.
But he tries to send them a silent message:
LWJ manages to feed the eggs during each awakening. His children are restless and fussy. They want to hatch, LWJ can feel it.
But he tries to send them a silent message:
'Wait, little ones. Please wait a bit longer. Your father and I have something important to take care of. Wait a few more days, and then come join us.'
Their time is running short.
LWJ knows that the pearl only lasts for about three days. It will dissipate after that. They must begin dual-cultivating before the pearl can be absorbed.
But it's two days before he manages to stay awake for more than a few minutes at a time.
LWJ knows that the pearl only lasts for about three days. It will dissipate after that. They must begin dual-cultivating before the pearl can be absorbed.
But it's two days before he manages to stay awake for more than a few minutes at a time.
During his fourth awakening, LWJ eats his soup and noodles. He lets Wei Ying draw him a bath, and he relaxes in the hot scented water.
His body is achy and tired, but his energy is slowly rebounding. He thinks he has enough strength for this.
His body is achy and tired, but his energy is slowly rebounding. He thinks he has enough strength for this.
And he doesn't want to wait any longer.
They must do this now, or the pearl will vanish. But beyond that, LWJ doesn't have the patience for any further delays. He wants to become one with his husband. He's waited so long, and he doesn't want to wait anymore.
They must do this now, or the pearl will vanish. But beyond that, LWJ doesn't have the patience for any further delays. He wants to become one with his husband. He's waited so long, and he doesn't want to wait anymore.
So when Wei Ying helps him back to bed and tucks the eggs under the blankets with him, LWJ catches his hand. He traces the sword calluses with his thumb, and looks into his husband's eyes.
"Are you ready?" he murmurs.
Wei Ying freezes.
"Are you ready?" he murmurs.
Wei Ying freezes.
He glances at the eggs. Then he turns back to LWJ, his face sheepish and faintly guilty.
"Ah. Can we...put them back in the basket by the fire?"
Wei Ying reaches out to stroke Little Blue's shell. Then he turns the egg deliberately, as if facing the children toward the wall.
"Ah. Can we...put them back in the basket by the fire?"
Wei Ying reaches out to stroke Little Blue's shell. Then he turns the egg deliberately, as if facing the children toward the wall.
LWJ can't quite hide his smile. But he nods.
Wei Ying hustles the eggs back to their basket, the place they rest while LWJ is bathing.
Wei Ying arranges them carefully and returns to the bed. But then he snatches up a blanket and throws it over the basket.
Wei Ying hustles the eggs back to their basket, the place they rest while LWJ is bathing.
Wei Ying arranges them carefully and returns to the bed. But then he snatches up a blanket and throws it over the basket.
LWJ gives him a quizzical stare.
"We should cover them up too," he mutters. "You know. So they don't know what we're doing over here!"
LWJ bites his lip and narrowly avoids laughing out loud. He doesn't even remember the last time he laughed. Perhaps he was a child.
"We should cover them up too," he mutters. "You know. So they don't know what we're doing over here!"
LWJ bites his lip and narrowly avoids laughing out loud. He doesn't even remember the last time he laughed. Perhaps he was a child.
But Wei Ying scandalized face is too funny.
"They can't see us," LWJ points out,
His voice trembles with suppressed amusement.
The children are still trapped in their shells. And even if they weren't, they're much too small to understand what's happening.
"They can't see us," LWJ points out,
His voice trembles with suppressed amusement.
The children are still trapped in their shells. And even if they weren't, they're much too small to understand what's happening.
LWJ is sure that his newborn children wouldn't be damaged by their parents making love nearby.
But Wei Ying makes an agonized sound as he flops face-first on the bed.
"I know! I know! But still!"
LWJ reaches down to ruffle his husband's hair.
But Wei Ying makes an agonized sound as he flops face-first on the bed.
"I know! I know! But still!"
LWJ reaches down to ruffle his husband's hair.
Wei Ying turns into his touch. He burrows against LWJ's side and mumbles into the bedding.
"I don't care if they can't really see me. I still can't do this in front of my children!"
He squirms, mashing his face against LWJ's shoulder.
"I don't care if they can't really see me. I still can't do this in front of my children!"
He squirms, mashing his face against LWJ's shoulder.
"It's obscene. Your uncle would kill me if he knew we did this while the babies were in the bed with us!"
Perhaps Wei Ying is right. But LWJ can't think of that now. He can only think of those two precious words: my children.
Wei Ying has never spoken those words before.
Perhaps Wei Ying is right. But LWJ can't think of that now. He can only think of those two precious words: my children.
Wei Ying has never spoken those words before.
He dotes on the eggs and fusses over them. He has named them. LWJ knows he loves the children. He knows Wei Ying will continue to love the children, even if he can never feed them.
But this is the first time Wei Ying has called the eggs 'my children'.
But this is the first time Wei Ying has called the eggs 'my children'.
LWJ's heart is suddenly full to overflowing.
He swallows down a rush of emotion and makes a vague noise of understanding. But he can't bother to worry about Uncle's views, or whether the children might overhear the things they do in the bed.
He swallows down a rush of emotion and makes a vague noise of understanding. But he can't bother to worry about Uncle's views, or whether the children might overhear the things they do in the bed.
He can't think of anything except Wei Ying tucked in close, his body warm and vital and solid. He strokes Wei Ying's hair.
It ought to be enough, having Wei Ying here. But it isn't. LWJ feels greedy. A ravenous hunger unfolds inside his chest. He shifts against the sheets.
It ought to be enough, having Wei Ying here. But it isn't. LWJ feels greedy. A ravenous hunger unfolds inside his chest. He shifts against the sheets.
He hasn't...felt much of that over the last several weeks.
Under ordinary circumstances, LWJ found it necessary to attend to himself several times a week to satisfy his body's appetites. But since the eggs came, he hasn't felt any such desires.
Under ordinary circumstances, LWJ found it necessary to attend to himself several times a week to satisfy his body's appetites. But since the eggs came, he hasn't felt any such desires.
That must be natural. Physical desires were meant to stimulate reproduction. If he already has eggs to care for, why should his body waste energy on stimulating the libido?
Perhaps, even now, he should remain focused only on his children.
Perhaps, even now, he should remain focused only on his children.
But he can't. He hasn't been able to maintain an exclusive focus on his children since Wei Ying agreed to marry him. His attention has been divided, shared between his husband and his children.
And now, LWJ is impatient to become Wei Ying's husband in every possible way.
And now, LWJ is impatient to become Wei Ying's husband in every possible way.
His body seems to agree: it's waking up, heat flickering through his blood. LWJ takes a deep breath, absorbing Wei Ying's scent.
Wei Ying seems to sense a shift too. He rolls onto his side and stares into LWJ's face. His pupils are wide and dark.
Wei Ying seems to sense a shift too. He rolls onto his side and stares into LWJ's face. His pupils are wide and dark.
There's a hint of color on his cheekbones. He takes a deep breath too, and lets it out in a shudder. Then he licks his lips.
"How should we...do this?" he rasps.
His eyes flicker up and down LWJ's body. LWJ's fingers knot in the collar of Wei Ying's robes.
"How should we...do this?" he rasps.
His eyes flicker up and down LWJ's body. LWJ's fingers knot in the collar of Wei Ying's robes.
"Are you supposed to..."
Wei Ying pauses. He licks his lips again.
"Or am I...?"
Years ago, LWJ thought that Wei Ying could utter any remark without a blush. He thought Wei Ying had enough audacity for anything. But he was wrong about that, and many other things.
Wei Ying pauses. He licks his lips again.
"Or am I...?"
Years ago, LWJ thought that Wei Ying could utter any remark without a blush. He thought Wei Ying had enough audacity for anything. But he was wrong about that, and many other things.
A flush has crept up Wei Ying's neck. LWJ wants to trace its path with his mouth. But he forces himself to wait as Wei Ying flounders for words.
At last, Wei Ying gives up. He lets out a soft, nervous laugh and tugs at the sheet covering LWJ's body.
At last, Wei Ying gives up. He lets out a soft, nervous laugh and tugs at the sheet covering LWJ's body.
"Ah. Which position, do you think?"
LWJ pushes the sheet aside. Then he reaches for Wei Ying's robes again.
He cannot think of anything that matters less to him. The particulars of how they do this are absolutely unimportant. But after a moment, he tries to respond.
LWJ pushes the sheet aside. Then he reaches for Wei Ying's robes again.
He cannot think of anything that matters less to him. The particulars of how they do this are absolutely unimportant. But after a moment, he tries to respond.
"The documents did not specify."
LWJ lets his hands wander to the sash of Wei Ying's robes. He tugs it experimentally.
"I don't believe the position matters. The sharing of energy is the most essential part."
LWJ lets his hands wander to the sash of Wei Ying's robes. He tugs it experimentally.
"I don't believe the position matters. The sharing of energy is the most essential part."
They can dual-cultivate in any position, surely. LWJ doesn't care how it's done.
He only wants Wei Ying's robes gone. He wants to tear down every barrier between their bodies. He wants Wei Ying's hands against his overheated flesh, Wei Ying's mouth on his.
He only wants Wei Ying's robes gone. He wants to tear down every barrier between their bodies. He wants Wei Ying's hands against his overheated flesh, Wei Ying's mouth on his.
Wei Ying lets out an exasperated groan.
But LWJ takes his husband's hand and guides it to his chest. At this touch, Wei Ying's groan takes on a different note.
"I wasn't asking what the stupid five hundred year old scroll said!"
But LWJ takes his husband's hand and guides it to his chest. At this touch, Wei Ying's groan takes on a different note.
"I wasn't asking what the stupid five hundred year old scroll said!"
Wei Ying's eyes dart everywhere, as if he's not sure where to look. The flush reaches his jawline, and his breathing speeds up. But he chews his lip and presses on.
"I was asking what position my HUSBAND prefers!"
LWJ savors that phrase: my husband.
"I was asking what position my HUSBAND prefers!"
LWJ savors that phrase: my husband.
He can't imagine ever tiring of it.
He treats himself to a long, lingering taste of Wei Ying's neck. It's several moments before he can stop lapping at Wei Ying's skin.
"I prefer," he murmurs, "anything that involves Wei Ying."
Wei Ying squirms and pinches his side.
He treats himself to a long, lingering taste of Wei Ying's neck. It's several moments before he can stop lapping at Wei Ying's skin.
"I prefer," he murmurs, "anything that involves Wei Ying."
Wei Ying squirms and pinches his side.
"Don't try to seduce me! It's too late for that. We're already married. Wasted effort!"
Wei Ying is trying to sound impatient, or even vexed. But he isn't succeeding. Wei Ying only sounds breathy and impassioned. It's enough to make LWJ lose patience altogether.
Wei Ying is trying to sound impatient, or even vexed. But he isn't succeeding. Wei Ying only sounds breathy and impassioned. It's enough to make LWJ lose patience altogether.
He tugs his husband's sash free. Wei Ying's robes loosen, and LWJ sneaks his hands inside. He pushes past the various layers and presses his palms to Wei Ying's chest. Then he shuts his eyes.
It isn't enough to sate his body just now.
It isn't enough to sate his body just now.
But it helps to feel Wei Ying's heartbeat. It helps to know that Wei Ying is alive and here, that he is LWJ's husband.
"Wei Ying deserves my full effort. Always."
It's the truth, and Wei Ying ought to know it. LWJ would like to do more to prove it.
"Wei Ying deserves my full effort. Always."
It's the truth, and Wei Ying ought to know it. LWJ would like to do more to prove it.
He would like to worship Wei Ying's entire body. He would like to challenge himself, to see how much pleasure he could give Wei Ying in a single evening. He wants to know how many times he can make Wei Ying spend himself in LWJ's hands or mouth.
Wei Ying certainly deserves that sort of attention.
But LWJ's body is still taxed by the nesting. It isn't quite as strong as he would like it to be.
After the children come, LWJ will have the stamina for many hours of pleasuring his husband.
But LWJ's body is still taxed by the nesting. It isn't quite as strong as he would like it to be.
After the children come, LWJ will have the stamina for many hours of pleasuring his husband.
Now, after weeks of nesting and producing a pearl, he accepts that he may have to play a passive role in this particular event.
He sighs and draws his hands back. He takes Wei Ying's hands instead, and settles them on his hips.
"I am still tired," he admits.
He sighs and draws his hands back. He takes Wei Ying's hands instead, and settles them on his hips.
"I am still tired," he admits.
Wei Ying sways forward, brushing his lips against LWJ's jaw. His hands tighten on LWJ's hips. He crowds their bodies closer together.
"Ah. Then, should I take the lead this time?"
Almost tentatively, his hand dips lower, settling on LWJ's thigh.
"Ah. Then, should I take the lead this time?"
Almost tentatively, his hand dips lower, settling on LWJ's thigh.
"And then, after the babies hatch..."
His breathing has sped up. LWJ finds himself gasping for breath, too.
"We can try it the other way," Wei Ying suggests huskily, "and decide what we like best?"
His breathing has sped up. LWJ finds himself gasping for breath, too.
"We can try it the other way," Wei Ying suggests huskily, "and decide what we like best?"
Heat spreads through LWJ's body. He reaches out, pushing Wei Ying's robes off his shoulders. He settles his fingertips over that terrible brand on Wei Ying's chest.
"Mm. We will try everything."
He draws Wei Ying's head down and kisses him.
"Mm. We will try everything."
He draws Wei Ying's head down and kisses him.
He kisses his husband again, and again.
He wants to try everything. He wants to do everything. He wants to touch Wei Ying in every possible way.
But kissing is addictive, and LWJ find it hard to stop. His hand slides lower, reaching down.
He wants to try everything. He wants to do everything. He wants to touch Wei Ying in every possible way.
But kissing is addictive, and LWJ find it hard to stop. His hand slides lower, reaching down.
Wei Ying's breath hitches. For a moment, he rocks his hips forward. Then he catches LWJ's hand, squeezing the wrist.
LWJ opens his eyes - he does not remember when he closed them - and finds Wei Ying staring down at him. His cheeks are flushed and his eyes shine.
LWJ opens his eyes - he does not remember when he closed them - and finds Wei Ying staring down at him. His cheeks are flushed and his eyes shine.
But there's a hint of embarrassment in his expression. He squeezes LWJ's wrist again, to stop him from wresting away the last of Wei Ying's clothing.
"Lan Zhan. I don't really know how to..." Wei Ying stumbles over his words.
"Lan Zhan. I don't really know how to..." Wei Ying stumbles over his words.
"I know I always talked a big game when I was studying here! But I've never actually..."
LWJ tries to hide a smile, but he can't help the triumph that sings in his chest.
It is unseemly. Jealousy is unseemly. Wishing to possess your spouse, in every possible way, is unseemly.
LWJ tries to hide a smile, but he can't help the triumph that sings in his chest.
It is unseemly. Jealousy is unseemly. Wishing to possess your spouse, in every possible way, is unseemly.
But he had hoped that he would be the first for Wei Ying, as Wei Ying would be the first for him. So he can't help the smug satisfaction that settles into his belly.
He sways forward, capturing Wei Ying's lips again.
"Good," he whispers, drawing back. "Neither have I."
He sways forward, capturing Wei Ying's lips again.
"Good," he whispers, drawing back. "Neither have I."
It doesn't matter. They can learn together, and practice is always valuable. The Lan disciplines declare that students should be diligent learners in all things.
So LWJ takes his husband's hand and guides it down. He helps Wei Ying take him in hand.
So LWJ takes his husband's hand and guides it down. He helps Wei Ying take him in hand.
He shows Wei Ying that he likes rough strokes, firm pressure, a quick pace.
And, as expected, Wei Ying learns quickly.
Or perhaps LWJ would always find his husband's touch pleasurable, no matter what he does or how inexpert his technique. It doesn't really matter.
And, as expected, Wei Ying learns quickly.
Or perhaps LWJ would always find his husband's touch pleasurable, no matter what he does or how inexpert his technique. It doesn't really matter.
In no time at all, he spills all over Wei Ying's hand.
His eyes fall shut during the final moment of release. But he opens them again, wanting to see Wei Ying's face.
He traces his husband's features: his wide eyes, his parted lips, his blown pupils.
His eyes fall shut during the final moment of release. But he opens them again, wanting to see Wei Ying's face.
He traces his husband's features: his wide eyes, his parted lips, his blown pupils.
The look of soft wonder on his face, as he stares down at LWJ.
But it isn't enough. LWJ's body buzzes with aftershocks of pleasure, but it isn't enough.
He has wanted this for so long. He has wanted his body joined to Wei Ying's.
But it isn't enough. LWJ's body buzzes with aftershocks of pleasure, but it isn't enough.
He has wanted this for so long. He has wanted his body joined to Wei Ying's.
He has wanted to reach out for Wei Ying's core, mingling their energies.
He reaches out, clumsily pushing aside Wei Ying's fallen robes and tugging at his trousers.
"Wei Ying."
His voice is desperate and demanding, even to his own ears. But for once, Wei Ying doesn't tease.
He reaches out, clumsily pushing aside Wei Ying's fallen robes and tugging at his trousers.
"Wei Ying."
His voice is desperate and demanding, even to his own ears. But for once, Wei Ying doesn't tease.
Wei Ying is flushed all over, a delicious redness spreading down his chest. LWJ wants to lick it, bite it, mark it with his teeth.
But WWX pulls away, fumbling, shoving his clothing off the bed. He reaches for the little jar of oil on the bedside table.
But WWX pulls away, fumbling, shoving his clothing off the bed. He reaches for the little jar of oil on the bedside table.
LWJ spreads his thighs instinctively.
He has touched himself here before. It's nothing new to him. But perhaps it's new to Wei Ying. Or perhaps he's only afraid of injuring LWJ.
His touch is very timid at first, edging between LWJ's thighs and tracing the rim of his entrance.
He has touched himself here before. It's nothing new to him. But perhaps it's new to Wei Ying. Or perhaps he's only afraid of injuring LWJ.
His touch is very timid at first, edging between LWJ's thighs and tracing the rim of his entrance.
But he grows bolder as LWJ gasps and rocks against his hand, trying to push down. Trying to persuade Wei Ying to give him more than one finger.
"Is it okay?" Wei Ying pauses long enough to press a kiss to LWJ's calf. "Does it feel good? Lan Zhan? Do you like it?"
"Is it okay?" Wei Ying pauses long enough to press a kiss to LWJ's calf. "Does it feel good? Lan Zhan? Do you like it?"
LWJ likes it so much, he has trouble speaking for several moments.
"It's good." He grinds against his husband's hand. "Wei Ying. More."
But in the end, he has to kick his husband to make him hurry up. Only a little kick, because Wei Ying is being stubborn.
"It's good." He grinds against his husband's hand. "Wei Ying. More."
But in the end, he has to kick his husband to make him hurry up. Only a little kick, because Wei Ying is being stubborn.
He insists on giving LWJ one more finger, then another. He uses at least three times the amount of oil they need. And he keeps tracing against LWJ's entrance, trying to loosen him further.
LWJ's body is a white-hot ache of over-sensitized pleasure.
LWJ's body is a white-hot ache of over-sensitized pleasure.
But Wei Ying keeps asking LWJ if he's sure he's ready. He even lines himself up, only to stop and ask LWJ to tell him if it hurts.
That's when LWJ decided to kick him.
Wei Ying lets out a rough laugh.
"All right, all right!"
That's when LWJ decided to kick him.
Wei Ying lets out a rough laugh.
"All right, all right!"
He leans down and presses a daring kiss to LWJ's length, red and angry and aching against his belly.
LWJ tangles his fingers in his husband's hair. He pulls until Wei Ying gives a little yelp.
"Lan Zhan! You're so mean! I get the message. You want it now?"
LWJ tangles his fingers in his husband's hair. He pulls until Wei Ying gives a little yelp.
"Lan Zhan! You're so mean! I get the message. You want it now?"
LWJ nods blindly. But he doesn't let go of his hold on Wei YIng's hair until he pushes in.
LWJ can't help the sound he makes then. But he regrets it immediately. He sounds almost pained, and Wei Ying freezes.
LWJ seizes hold of his hips, driving their bodies together.
LWJ can't help the sound he makes then. But he regrets it immediately. He sounds almost pained, and Wei Ying freezes.
LWJ seizes hold of his hips, driving their bodies together.
"Harder. Wei Ying. Harder!"
Perhaps he ought to be more patient with his husband. Patience is considered a virtue in his sect.
But it's a virtue LWJ has forgotten. He wraps his legs around his husband. He twines his fingers in Wei Ying's hair.
Perhaps he ought to be more patient with his husband. Patience is considered a virtue in his sect.
But it's a virtue LWJ has forgotten. He wraps his legs around his husband. He twines his fingers in Wei Ying's hair.
He squeezes his thighs against Wei Ying's sides.
Wei Ying scolds him, in between gasping breaths. He asks if LWJ is trying to smother the breath from own his husband.
LWJ bites his collarbone and leaves a bright red ring of teethmarks.
Wei Ying scolds him, in between gasping breaths. He asks if LWJ is trying to smother the breath from own his husband.
LWJ bites his collarbone and leaves a bright red ring of teethmarks.
It's so much better than he expected: Wei Ying's length splitting him open, filling him up, driving away the emptiness and leaving nothing but his husband.
It's so much better than LWJ's own fingers. It's so much better than his imagination.
It's so much better than LWJ's own fingers. It's so much better than his imagination.
He forgets about the exhaustion, the exertion of the nesting. His body surges up to meet Wei Ying's.
It's so good, he almost forgets his purpose. But he remembers. Just as the pleasure begins to crest and Wei Ying's breaths grow ragged, LWJ remembers what he must do.
It's so good, he almost forgets his purpose. But he remembers. Just as the pleasure begins to crest and Wei Ying's breaths grow ragged, LWJ remembers what he must do.
And he discovers that he needs more freedom of movement.
So he pushes at Wei Ying, toppling him over on the bed without separating their bodies. He spreads his thighs, driving himself down further down.
And he presses his hands against Wei Ying's belly, reaching out.
So he pushes at Wei Ying, toppling him over on the bed without separating their bodies. He spreads his thighs, driving himself down further down.
And he presses his hands against Wei Ying's belly, reaching out.
The energy is familiar. It is his own, after all: the pearl still floating inside Wei Ying's empty core.
But it can catch and settle somewhere inside him. LWJ pours out his own energy, surrounding the pearl, trying to feed it the way he's fed his children.
But it can catch and settle somewhere inside him. LWJ pours out his own energy, surrounding the pearl, trying to feed it the way he's fed his children.
He tries to create a sort of amniotic sac, giving the pearl a place to settle in.
He almost doesn't feel his own climax. His body rocks against Wei Ying's, his thighs tensing. He hears himself cry out.
But he's lost inside Wei Ying's body, surrounded by golden light.
He almost doesn't feel his own climax. His body rocks against Wei Ying's, his thighs tensing. He hears himself cry out.
But he's lost inside Wei Ying's body, surrounded by golden light.
Perhaps he loses consciousness for a while. He doesn't know. But when he comes back to himself, he's lying on his side. Wei Ying has pulled out, and LWJ mourns that. His body feels strangely empty without his husband. He doesn't like it.
But Wei Ying twines their legs together.
But Wei Ying twines their legs together.
He has his arms around LWJ. Their foreheads are pressed together, damp with sweat.
Wei Ying seems breathless, and there's a strange glow around him. LWJ doesn't know if it's natural part of the process - the consummation itself - or if it's residual spiritual energy.
Wei Ying seems breathless, and there's a strange glow around him. LWJ doesn't know if it's natural part of the process - the consummation itself - or if it's residual spiritual energy.
He doesn't have the strength to ask. It's hard enough to draw breath, to press his palm over Wei Ying's lower dantian.
LWJ is winded, exhausted. It takes several minutes before he can speak.
"Do you feel different?" he whispers.
Wei Ying shakes against him.
LWJ is winded, exhausted. It takes several minutes before he can speak.
"Do you feel different?" he whispers.
Wei Ying shakes against him.
It takes a moment for LWJ to realize he's laughing. He's laughing so hard, there are tears in his eyes.
Or perhaps the tears were there before. Perhaps the tears came when LWJ reached inside his body and filled him with energy. LWJ does not know.
Or perhaps the tears were there before. Perhaps the tears came when LWJ reached inside his body and filled him with energy. LWJ does not know.
He can't quite remember that moment, and he's momentarily disgruntled.
But he consoles himself that they will repeat the process soon. They will dual cultivate many, many times. LWJ will pay closer attention. He will remember what Wei Ying's face looks like, next time.
But he consoles himself that they will repeat the process soon. They will dual cultivate many, many times. LWJ will pay closer attention. He will remember what Wei Ying's face looks like, next time.
"Lan Zhan!"
Wei Ying's face is lovely, radiant, luminous. He reaches up and pinches LWJ's cheek.
"Of course I feel different! My husband just robbed me of my virtue! I've been deflowered! Of course it's different."
Wei Ying's face is lovely, radiant, luminous. He reaches up and pinches LWJ's cheek.
"Of course I feel different! My husband just robbed me of my virtue! I've been deflowered! Of course it's different."
LWJ preens a little. Then he kisses his husband furiously...as furiously as he can manage, pleasure-drunk and wrung-out at he is.
Then, when he's gathered up the last of his strength, he reaches out. He stretches out his consciousness and touches Wei Ying's core.
Then, when he's gathered up the last of his strength, he reaches out. He stretches out his consciousness and touches Wei Ying's core.
It's true. Something is different.
LWJ can no longer tell where the pearl ends and his own energy begins. It's all mixed together inside Wei Ying's body, humming and buzzing and flowering. LWJ is reminded of the gardens in springtime, full of life and activity.
LWJ can no longer tell where the pearl ends and his own energy begins. It's all mixed together inside Wei Ying's body, humming and buzzing and flowering. LWJ is reminded of the gardens in springtime, full of life and activity.
It doesn't quite feel like a golden core. Not yet.
But LWJ thinks it might be the beginnings of one. Wei Ying's body seems to be adjusting, accepting this sudden influx of energy. LWJ draws back his hand with a contented smile.
"Your body didn't reject my energy," he murmurs.
But LWJ thinks it might be the beginnings of one. Wei Ying's body seems to be adjusting, accepting this sudden influx of energy. LWJ draws back his hand with a contented smile.
"Your body didn't reject my energy," he murmurs.
Wei Ying sighs. But he's smiling too...smiling with flushed cheeks and wet eyes, his palms cradling LWJ's face.
"You're so ridiculous," he says. "Do you really think my body would reject any part of you?"
He kisses LWJ's forehead.
"You're so ridiculous," he says. "Do you really think my body would reject any part of you?"
He kisses LWJ's forehead.
And it's enough.
LWJ doesn't know what will come next. They will need to see WQ. Wei Ying will have to be examined. They will have to dual-cultivate again, to see if they can settle the energy in Wei Ying's body into a harmonious whole.
LWJ doesn't know what will come next. They will need to see WQ. Wei Ying will have to be examined. They will have to dual-cultivate again, to see if they can settle the energy in Wei Ying's body into a harmonious whole.
LWJ cannot be certain whether they have succeeded. Not yet.
But here and now, with Wei Ying's sweat-damp body in his arms, Wei Ying smiling into his eyes, it's truly enough.
But here and now, with Wei Ying's sweat-damp body in his arms, Wei Ying smiling into his eyes, it's truly enough.
(LWJ: Wei Ying, I am too tired to be on top. You have to do it. 😔
LWJ, fifteen minutes later: ...Yeehaw. 🤠
Pausing here! The final installment should be up within a couple days!)
LWJ, fifteen minutes later: ...Yeehaw. 🤠
Pausing here! The final installment should be up within a couple days!)
🐉🦎🦎🦎
The babies hatch five days later.
WWX hasn’t managed to give them much, just little feathery wisps of spiritual energy. It's hardly more than a few crumbs. His brand-new core is fluttery, unstable, barely settled into his body.
The babies hatch five days later.
WWX hasn’t managed to give them much, just little feathery wisps of spiritual energy. It's hardly more than a few crumbs. His brand-new core is fluttery, unstable, barely settled into his body.
He can only give the babies a tiny scrap of energy. Then he has to turn them over to Lan Zhan for a proper feeding.
But it’s enough. Lan Zhan says it’s more than enough. He glows with happiness every time WWX coaxes a minuscule pulse of energy into each egg.
But it’s enough. Lan Zhan says it’s more than enough. He glows with happiness every time WWX coaxes a minuscule pulse of energy into each egg.
Then he topples WWX into bed and tugs at his trousers, clearly eager to replace the energy WWX surrendered to the babies.
But WWX doesn’t know if he's doing enough. He still doesn’t think he’s helping much at all, and he's afraid Lan Zhan is working too hard.
But WWX doesn’t know if he's doing enough. He still doesn’t think he’s helping much at all, and he's afraid Lan Zhan is working too hard.
One morning, Lan Zhan is horribly restless.
He sits up and pulls the eggs into his lap. Then he sets them on the mattress and curls around them. He shifts back and forth between his human and dragon form.
He sits up and pulls the eggs into his lap. Then he sets them on the mattress and curls around them. He shifts back and forth between his human and dragon form.
In his human form, he gets up from the bed and paces the room, sweaty and wild-eyed and naked. Then he goes back to bed and shifts back into his dragon form, snapping at the air.
The eggs are strangely quiet, too. WWX doesn't understand what this means.
The eggs are strangely quiet, too. WWX doesn't understand what this means.
He gets worried, and he suggests that WQ come over to take a look at the eggs. But Lan Zhan snaps at him, too. WWX quickly drops THAT idea.
Afterward, Lan Zhan is remorseful. He puts his head in WWX's lap, and stares up with big repentant eyes. WWX rubs his antlers slowly.
Afterward, Lan Zhan is remorseful. He puts his head in WWX's lap, and stares up with big repentant eyes. WWX rubs his antlers slowly.
"What is it?" he whispers. "Do you need something? Should I...go get some medicine? Or should I bring someone here? Your brother...?"
But Lan Zhan just shakes his head and burrows tightly around the eggs.
For the next shi, WWX is genuinely terrified.
But Lan Zhan just shakes his head and burrows tightly around the eggs.
For the next shi, WWX is genuinely terrified.
He tastes bile in his mouth. He wonders if something has gone wrong with the eggs, and Lan Zhan is too afraid to break the news.
But then, around midday, Little Blue's egg starts to wobble furiously. It rocks back and forth on the quilts.
But then, around midday, Little Blue's egg starts to wobble furiously. It rocks back and forth on the quilts.
Lan Zhan perks up. He hovers over the egg, exhaling misty dragony breath against the shell.
But nothing happens for a while. The egg rocks and shivers. Then it goes still, as Little Blue tries to gather their strength.
WWX hovers over the egg too.
But nothing happens for a while. The egg rocks and shivers. Then it goes still, as Little Blue tries to gather their strength.
WWX hovers over the egg too.
He murmurs encouragement and praise every time Little Blue tries to break the shell. But it's nearly sundown by the time the first spidery crack appears.
WWX wants rip the shell open, but Lan Zhan won't let him. He shifts back to human form and pushes WWX's hands away.
WWX wants rip the shell open, but Lan Zhan won't let him. He shifts back to human form and pushes WWX's hands away.
He settles his face very close to the shell. Then he sings a low, hypnotic melody.
Little Blue seems to be listening: listening, and gathering strength. The crack deepens and widens.
Slowly, a tiny little clawed foot emerges from the shell.
Little Blue seems to be listening: listening, and gathering strength. The crack deepens and widens.
Slowly, a tiny little clawed foot emerges from the shell.
Tears fill WWX's eyes.
Lan Zhan smooths his thumb over Little Blue's foot. He leans it to murmurs something to the eggs again.
WWX can only overhear snatches - 'little one' and 'trying so hard' and 'please be brave'. The tenderness in Lan Zhan's voice is too much to bear.
Lan Zhan smooths his thumb over Little Blue's foot. He leans it to murmurs something to the eggs again.
WWX can only overhear snatches - 'little one' and 'trying so hard' and 'please be brave'. The tenderness in Lan Zhan's voice is too much to bear.
The tears overflow and spill down WWX's cheeks.
He tries, too. He tells Little Blue how well they're doing. He says that he and Lan Zhan want to meet their babies so badly. He begs Little Blue to keep trying hard to come meet them.
He tries, too. He tells Little Blue how well they're doing. He says that he and Lan Zhan want to meet their babies so badly. He begs Little Blue to keep trying hard to come meet them.
In time, another small foot pokes out of the shell. The shell cracks in two more places, and the crevices deepen.
And then, all at once, the shell splits in two and a little dragon tumbles out.
Little Blue spills into Lan Zhan's hands, sticky with a thin slime.
And then, all at once, the shell splits in two and a little dragon tumbles out.
Little Blue spills into Lan Zhan's hands, sticky with a thin slime.
Their eyes are still sealed shut, and WWX knows they won't open for a week.
But Little Blue is big: almost the size of Lan Zhan's forearm. They've got four wriggly legs and nubby little antlers.
They squirm and hiss and sneeze. Then Little Blue lets out a tremulous trill.
But Little Blue is big: almost the size of Lan Zhan's forearm. They've got four wriggly legs and nubby little antlers.
They squirm and hiss and sneeze. Then Little Blue lets out a tremulous trill.
WWX sobs.
He cries as he wipes the muck off Little Blue's body. He cries as he bundles Little Blue into a clean towel and puts them on Lan Zhan's chest. He cries when he kisses their tiny head, and they respond with a puzzled chirp.
He cries as he wipes the muck off Little Blue's body. He cries as he bundles Little Blue into a clean towel and puts them on Lan Zhan's chest. He cries when he kisses their tiny head, and they respond with a puzzled chirp.
And the tears don't stop, because Little Shimmer isn't far behind. They manage to tear their way free of their shell by hai-shi. That makes WWX laugh.
"This one is so obedient!" he says, scrubbing Little Shimmer clean. "They made sure to finish hatching before curfew!"
"This one is so obedient!" he says, scrubbing Little Shimmer clean. "They made sure to finish hatching before curfew!"
Lan Zhan smiles. He tucks both of the babies close to his skin.
But Little Wave's hatching takes a lot longer. They have some trouble breaking the thin membrane that holds their shell together.
WWX gets scared. Lan Zhan still won't let him help to break the shell open.
But Little Wave's hatching takes a lot longer. They have some trouble breaking the thin membrane that holds their shell together.
WWX gets scared. Lan Zhan still won't let him help to break the shell open.
"Wait," he murmurs.
He passes a hand over Little Wave's shell. Then he kisses the narrow split where Little Wave has made their opening.
"Wait. Let them try to do this on their own. They are strong enough."
He passes a hand over Little Wave's shell. Then he kisses the narrow split where Little Wave has made their opening.
"Wait. Let them try to do this on their own. They are strong enough."
WWX is afraid this one might be weaker than the others. It's so, so long before the crack deepens enough for a tiny snout to poke through.
But just before sunrise, Little Wave squirms through the narrow opening in the shell. They collapse, panting, against Lan Zhan's belly.
But just before sunrise, Little Wave squirms through the narrow opening in the shell. They collapse, panting, against Lan Zhan's belly.
WWX cleans Little Wave with extra care. He tucks all three babies under the blankets, and he bundles himself into the bed to help keep them warm.
They're all exhausted. The babies collapse into a deep sleep, twitching and flicking their long tails every now and then.
They're all exhausted. The babies collapse into a deep sleep, twitching and flicking their long tails every now and then.
They're so perfect, it hurts to look at them.
Before they hatched, WWX was afraid he'd never be able to tell the babies apart. But he realizes now that was a stupid thing to worry about. The eggs were distinct enough, and so are the babies.
Before they hatched, WWX was afraid he'd never be able to tell the babies apart. But he realizes now that was a stupid thing to worry about. The eggs were distinct enough, and so are the babies.
Little Blue is the biggest and the squirmiest. Their scales are the same deep dusky blue as their eggshell, the same shade as Lan Zhan's scales.
Little Shimmer is a pale blue with a stripe of gold down their back. A small tuft of fur is perched at the tip of their tail.
Little Shimmer is a pale blue with a stripe of gold down their back. A small tuft of fur is perched at the tip of their tail.
Little Wave is definitely the runt of the trio. They're noticeably smaller and paler than their siblings, more white than blue.
But Little Wave has a good strong voice.
WWX hardly has a chance to nap after the hatching before Little Wave wakes him up, chirping and trilling.
But Little Wave has a good strong voice.
WWX hardly has a chance to nap after the hatching before Little Wave wakes him up, chirping and trilling.
When he doesn't respond quickly enough, Little Wave chomps down on his index finger.
The babies don't have any teeth yet, of course. They're only infants. Lan Zhan will have to feed them spiritual energy until they change into their human form, and can take milk.
The babies don't have any teeth yet, of course. They're only infants. Lan Zhan will have to feed them spiritual energy until they change into their human form, and can take milk.
There's nothing wrong with their appetite, though. They're ravenous little things, hissing and wriggling when their breakfast is late.
WWX can't feed them much. His feeble wisps of spiritual energy do nothing to satisfy them. He has to pass them back to Lan Zhan right away.
WWX can't feed them much. His feeble wisps of spiritual energy do nothing to satisfy them. He has to pass them back to Lan Zhan right away.
After the babies are fed, Lan Zhan pulls him in close. He kisses WWX's brow.
"It will gets stronger," he whispers. "You built up a golden core once. You can do it again."
WWX doesn't even bother to reply. He just kisses Lan Zhan and the babies as many times as he can.
"It will gets stronger," he whispers. "You built up a golden core once. You can do it again."
WWX doesn't even bother to reply. He just kisses Lan Zhan and the babies as many times as he can.
It isn't so important, after all.
It's still a relief and a comfort: the hum of a golden core inside his body again. It doesn't matter if it's only a weak candle-flame, rather than a blazing bonfire.
And it's enough that he has something to feed the babies.
It's still a relief and a comfort: the hum of a golden core inside his body again. It doesn't matter if it's only a weak candle-flame, rather than a blazing bonfire.
And it's enough that he has something to feed the babies.
He can give them a tiny little taste. They'll always know that he was the second person to feed them after they hatched. It's enough.
He won't be alone, no matter what happens. Whether his core gets stronger or not, he'll have Lan Zhan and the babies at his side.
He won't be alone, no matter what happens. Whether his core gets stronger or not, he'll have Lan Zhan and the babies at his side.
WWX doesn't have any complaints.
And neither do the Lans, when they come into the nesting chamber to visit.
LXC glows from head to toe as he cradles Little Blue on his lap. Even LQR’s eyes - as he holds Little Wave and Little Shimmer - are suspiciously bright.
And neither do the Lans, when they come into the nesting chamber to visit.
LXC glows from head to toe as he cradles Little Blue on his lap. Even LQR’s eyes - as he holds Little Wave and Little Shimmer - are suspiciously bright.
For a moment, LQR turns away. He shifts the babies, holding them on his lap with one hand. Subtly, he wipes his eyes.
WWX pretends not to see. He settles for tickling Little Blue’s belly instead.
“Have you settled on names?” LXC asks.
WWX pretends not to see. He settles for tickling Little Blue’s belly instead.
“Have you settled on names?” LXC asks.
LXC tries to protect Little Blue against the tickling assault.
But Little Blue doesn’t need their uncle’s help. Their small legs pinwheel, their tiny claws flashing. They nip at WWX’s fingers, gnawing toothlessly.
But Little Blue doesn’t need their uncle’s help. Their small legs pinwheel, their tiny claws flashing. They nip at WWX’s fingers, gnawing toothlessly.
Just that morning, WWX turned to his husband and said, “Lan Zhan! The babies bite as much as you do!”
Lan Zhan responded by sucking a bright red mark into WWX’s shoulder, while WWX yelped and squirmed. He laughs at the memory.
Lan Zhan responded by sucking a bright red mark into WWX’s shoulder, while WWX yelped and squirmed. He laughs at the memory.
“We did. But we’re waiting to see whether they’re boys or girls before we make our choice.”
Dragons are hermaphroditic, apparently. WWX certainly didn’t know THAT until just a few weeks ago. But it makes sense. If they can all produce eggs, then they must have the right...parts.
Dragons are hermaphroditic, apparently. WWX certainly didn’t know THAT until just a few weeks ago. But it makes sense. If they can all produce eggs, then they must have the right...parts.
At any rate, they won't know if they have sons or daughters until the babies shift into their human form.
Lan Zhan is absolutely indifferent to this little detail, and he won't even join WWX in speculating on the baby's genders.
Lan Zhan is absolutely indifferent to this little detail, and he won't even join WWX in speculating on the baby's genders.
WWX is impatient, though. He wants some more news to tell Shijie and Jiang Cheng.
He’s written to them already, listing every detail of the hatching. He described the babies in painstaking detail and even included little drawings of his new children.
He’s written to them already, listing every detail of the hatching. He described the babies in painstaking detail and even included little drawings of his new children.
But it isn’t enough. He’s impatient for the rest: names and genders and parties. He’s especially impatient for Shijie and JC to meet the babies. But he has to wait for two long weeks before JC can visit.
...They aren’t so long, really. The babies keep him plenty busy.
...They aren’t so long, really. The babies keep him plenty busy.
So does his husband. They’re too tired to do much, but they manage to dual cultivate at least three times a week. Just to make sure WWX’s new core stays healthy, Lan Zhan says.
WWX suspects his husband might have more nefarious motives, but he’s certainly not complaining.
WWX suspects his husband might have more nefarious motives, but he’s certainly not complaining.
He’s not complaining about the babies either.
They’re fat little things, spoiled by Lan Zhan’s constant feedings. They wiggle and bite and hiss at WWX when he dangles a toy over their heads.
Sometimes, they roll onto their backs and can’t figure out how to turn over.
They’re fat little things, spoiled by Lan Zhan’s constant feedings. They wiggle and bite and hiss at WWX when he dangles a toy over their heads.
Sometimes, they roll onto their backs and can’t figure out how to turn over.
Then they chirp frantically until someone comes to tip them over.
WWX loves them so much, he feels like he’s going to burst with it. But he’s still counting down the days until JC comes.
They settled on a wedding date, two weeks after the hatching.
WWX loves them so much, he feels like he’s going to burst with it. But he’s still counting down the days until JC comes.
They settled on a wedding date, two weeks after the hatching.
They still have to go through with the official wedding. Even though LXC, at least, knows perfectly well that they’re already married.
JC is bringing presents and copies of the wedding contract. He’ll be accompanied by a party of Jiang cultivators, just to show off a little.
JC is bringing presents and copies of the wedding contract. He’ll be accompanied by a party of Jiang cultivators, just to show off a little.
WWX feels like he’s swallowed a bunch of bees when he thinks of that: his brother, coming to see him get married.
He doesn’t know if he’s ready for it.
But if he prepared himself for awkwardness, it’s wasted effort.
He doesn’t know if he’s ready for it.
But if he prepared himself for awkwardness, it’s wasted effort.
When JC is shown into the Jingshi, the first thing he does is take WWX in a sudden fierce hug. It nearly knocks WWX off his feet.
The second thing JC does is whisper, “A-Jie has her baby. They hatched last night.”
The second thing JC does is whisper, “A-Jie has her baby. They hatched last night.”
WWX has gotten used to crying over the last few weeks. He feels almost waterlogged, but he can’t help it. Just when he thinks he’s gaining control of himself, Lan Zhan says something unbearably sweet. Or one of the babies gives him an adorably cranky look while he's teasing them.
Then WWX is crying all over again.
He can’t help crying a little now. JC tears up too. But he pulls back just enough to squeeze WWX’s shoulders.
“What…what do they look like?” WWX rasps. “Like Shijie?”
JC screws up his face.
“They look like a plucked chicken,” he admits.
He can’t help crying a little now. JC tears up too. But he pulls back just enough to squeeze WWX’s shoulders.
“What…what do they look like?” WWX rasps. “Like Shijie?”
JC screws up his face.
“They look like a plucked chicken,” he admits.
WWX bursts into rough laughter.
“But I think maybe they take after their father," JC adds.
JC doesn’t sound nearly as sour about that as WWX might have expected. But he understands, and he adjusts his own mental picture of Shijie's new chick very easily.
“But I think maybe they take after their father," JC adds.
JC doesn’t sound nearly as sour about that as WWX might have expected. But he understands, and he adjusts his own mental picture of Shijie's new chick very easily.
The chick doesn’t have any feathers, JC says. But they're shaped more like a phoenix than a crane. So it’s clear enough that the baby takes after the Jins more than the Jiangs.
The baby is extremely loud, JC adds. They squawk if Shijie puts them down for even a minute.
The baby is extremely loud, JC adds. They squawk if Shijie puts them down for even a minute.
When JC tried to hold the baby, they nipped him so hard their beak drew blood. JC sounds terribly proud of that little detail. The mark has already healed, but JC shows the spot to WWX anyway.
Soon, he gets bitten by WWX’s children, too. But maybe that’s part of being an uncle.
Soon, he gets bitten by WWX’s children, too. But maybe that’s part of being an uncle.
At any rate, JC doesn’t complain. He greets Lan Zhan gravely, and makes some polite overtures to LXC. Then he spends the rest of the afternoon holding each of the babies in turn.
He brought a ridiculous amount of presents, all sorts of impractical little clothes and toys.
He brought a ridiculous amount of presents, all sorts of impractical little clothes and toys.
He’s mad when he realizes that LXC has already provided a set of cribs. WWX senses a rivalry brewing for the title of favorite uncle.
It’s too much, really. After JC goes to settle into his guest quarters, WWX spends a long time lying face-down on the bed.
It’s too much, really. After JC goes to settle into his guest quarters, WWX spends a long time lying face-down on the bed.
The babies squirm all over the bed, but WWX is too overcome to even tease his children.
And he doesn’t get a break, either. Because the next day is his official wedding.
It’s a pared-down affair, of course. Lan Zhan won’t leave the babies alone for more than a quarter-shi.
And he doesn’t get a break, either. Because the next day is his official wedding.
It’s a pared-down affair, of course. Lan Zhan won’t leave the babies alone for more than a quarter-shi.
Not even with WQ, two other physicians, and three nursemaids on duty!
So there’s not time for much: just a tea ceremony and a visit to the Lan ancestral shrine. The wedding banquet takes place without them, and WWX doesn’t bother to take a single look at their presents.
So there’s not time for much: just a tea ceremony and a visit to the Lan ancestral shrine. The wedding banquet takes place without them, and WWX doesn’t bother to take a single look at their presents.
But that part isn’t important, anyway.
Years ago, WWX thought the banquet would be the best part of his wedding. He thought he’d want to spend hours drinking and feasting and joking with the guests.
“I was so stupid,” he tells Lan Zhan, back in their room.
Years ago, WWX thought the banquet would be the best part of his wedding. He thought he’d want to spend hours drinking and feasting and joking with the guests.
“I was so stupid,” he tells Lan Zhan, back in their room.
“I really didn’t know a thing about what I wanted!”
He flings his red silk robes over a table and helps Lan Zhan take off his robes, too. Then he dives back into bed and fishes the babies out of their cradle.
He flings his red silk robes over a table and helps Lan Zhan take off his robes, too. Then he dives back into bed and fishes the babies out of their cradle.
They’re small enough that they still fit inside one cradle: all three of them, wiggling around, twining their squirmy little bodies together.
WWX plops the babies into the space between his body and Lan Zhan's. Little Shimmer claws at his chest.
WWX plops the babies into the space between his body and Lan Zhan's. Little Shimmer claws at his chest.
Maybe they're angry that they weren’t invited to the wedding. WWX drops a placating kiss on their head and heaves a contented sigh.
He didn’t know anything at all. Who would care about a banquet, when he had this?
He didn’t know anything at all. Who would care about a banquet, when he had this?
Who would want wine and fancy dishes, when they could have a warm bed, a husband, a bunch of wriggly babies chirping in his ear every morning?
A-Yuan is enraptured by the babies, of course. Like JC, he has to wait two weeks before he’s allowed to visit.
A-Yuan is enraptured by the babies, of course. Like JC, he has to wait two weeks before he’s allowed to visit.
But once they show him the babies, they have to pry him away with a crowbar at the end of the afternoon.
He laughs when the babies try to chew on his arm, and he mimics their little chirps and trills.
He isn’t going back to the new Wen settlement, LXC says.
He laughs when the babies try to chew on his arm, and he mimics their little chirps and trills.
He isn’t going back to the new Wen settlement, LXC says.
The elders agreed that it would better for A-Yuan and Granny Wen to live within CR. A-Yuan will need an education, and Granny Wen shouldn’t be expected to do any farm labor.
So they’ll stay in a little house at the southern edge of CR. WQ will live with them, and so will WN.
So they’ll stay in a little house at the southern edge of CR. WQ will live with them, and so will WN.
That, WWX knows, must have taken some maneuvering.
The Lans weren’t unwilling to accept another physician into their midst. A sect could always use more good physicians, and WQ was the best of the best. Anyone could see that, even a bunch of stodgy Lan elders!
The Lans weren’t unwilling to accept another physician into their midst. A sect could always use more good physicians, and WQ was the best of the best. Anyone could see that, even a bunch of stodgy Lan elders!
But it must have taken a lot of work to get the elders to allow WN to set foot in CR. WWX can't imagine how the elders were persuaded to let WN live there!
LXC admits that he leveraged the elders' anxiety: if WN might be dangerous, wasn’t it better to keep him under their noses?
LXC admits that he leveraged the elders' anxiety: if WN might be dangerous, wasn’t it better to keep him under their noses?
Wasn’t it better to watch over him every minute, just to make sure that he wasn’t a corrupting influence?
WWX doesn’t like that argument much. He scowls when LXC mentions it. But he can’t really argue with the results. He’d rather have WN here, anyway.
WWX doesn’t like that argument much. He scowls when LXC mentions it. But he can’t really argue with the results. He’d rather have WN here, anyway.
He wants WN to help with the babies during the day, and keep his grandmother company at night.
And as the days pass, WWX notices a change he hadn’t expected.
“You’ve been replaced as the favorite,” he tells Lan Zhan sorrowfully.
Lan Zhan merely nods.
And as the days pass, WWX notices a change he hadn’t expected.
“You’ve been replaced as the favorite,” he tells Lan Zhan sorrowfully.
Lan Zhan merely nods.
Because there’s one person who seems to like WN almost as much as WWX and WQ.
And that person, impossibly, is LQR.
Of course, WN is a delight. WWX knew that already. WN is kindhearted and loyal and surprisingly funny. WWX shouldn’t be surprised that anyone would like WN.
And that person, impossibly, is LQR.
Of course, WN is a delight. WWX knew that already. WN is kindhearted and loyal and surprisingly funny. WWX shouldn’t be surprised that anyone would like WN.
But he’s a little surprised to discover that LQR has taken WN firmly under his wing.
He doesn’t think anyone meant for this to happen. But LQR was tasked with interviewing WN to determine whether he would be a threat to the people in CR. And they got to talking, apparently.
He doesn’t think anyone meant for this to happen. But LQR was tasked with interviewing WN to determine whether he would be a threat to the people in CR. And they got to talking, apparently.
WN remembered a lot of the topics that were on the curriculum during the time he studied in CR.
He had some questions about the material that he was too shy to ask before. Now, he's managed to scrape up the courage to ask LQR about his unfinished lessons.
He had some questions about the material that he was too shy to ask before. Now, he's managed to scrape up the courage to ask LQR about his unfinished lessons.
And of course, this discussion ends with LQR preparing a reading list and instructing WN to visit him three times a week for personal tutoring.
WN is a much better student than WWX ever was. He’s scrupulously polite and he diligently works his way through LQR’s list of books.
WN is a much better student than WWX ever was. He’s scrupulously polite and he diligently works his way through LQR’s list of books.
Within a week and a half, LQR is singing WN’s praises for everyone to hear.
WWX plucks up a little courage of his own and asks about that.
WN is a fierce corpse. WWX used forbidden and unorthodox methods to raise his body and restore his consciousness.
WWX plucks up a little courage of his own and asks about that.
WN is a fierce corpse. WWX used forbidden and unorthodox methods to raise his body and restore his consciousness.
He can’t help wondering why LQR doesn’t seem inclined to scorn WN for that.
So he asks, one afternoon, while LQR and WN are visiting the babies.
Little Shimmer gnaws on WN’s pinky finger, and WN looks flustered by the question. But LQR frowns.
So he asks, one afternoon, while LQR and WN are visiting the babies.
Little Shimmer gnaws on WN’s pinky finger, and WN looks flustered by the question. But LQR frowns.
“It is forbidden to use demonic cultivation, true. Yet it is not forbidden to be the target of demonic cultivation.”
He juggles Little Wave on his lap and strokes his beard.
“Upon reflection, I am not convinced that Wen Qionglin has violated any of our sect’s precepts."
He juggles Little Wave on his lap and strokes his beard.
“Upon reflection, I am not convinced that Wen Qionglin has violated any of our sect’s precepts."
"He appears to be a quiet and diligent student. His misfortunes are not his fault, and it's unjust to penalize those who have suffered through no fault of their own.”
If WN still had the ability to blush, WWX is sure he’d be blushing now.
If WN still had the ability to blush, WWX is sure he’d be blushing now.
But he doesn’t object when LQR wraps up the visit and whisks him off to the library for another lesson. LQR hustles him along the path like a mother duck leading her duckling to the pond.
WWX watches them go and shakes his head.
WWX watches them go and shakes his head.
But he doesn’t have time to marvel over LQR’s abrupt about-face on certain Lan teachings. He has other things to think of.
The babies have learned to scrabble around on their bellies. WWX has to keep a close eye on them, or they might hide themselves beneath the blankets.
The babies have learned to scrabble around on their bellies. WWX has to keep a close eye on them, or they might hide themselves beneath the blankets.
They’re bigger and fatter than ever.
The first month is almost passed. WWX counts down the days until they change into their human form.
He’ll miss seeing them like this. The baby dragons are so cute and squirmy. But he wants to see his babies smile.
The first month is almost passed. WWX counts down the days until they change into their human form.
He’ll miss seeing them like this. The baby dragons are so cute and squirmy. But he wants to see his babies smile.
He wants to count their little fingers and toes, and dress them up in the cute outfits JC brought. He wants to know what they'll look like.
“What if they’re all boys?” he asks, lying in bed beside Lan Zhan and teasing the babies with a feather. “Or all girls?”
“What if they’re all boys?” he asks, lying in bed beside Lan Zhan and teasing the babies with a feather. “Or all girls?”
Little Wave hisses at the feather and dives under Lan Zhan’s arm for protection. Lan Zhan rubs their head soothingly.
Little Blue tries to protect their siblings by chomping down hard on the feather, shaking their head from side to side to tear it to pieces.
Little Blue tries to protect their siblings by chomping down hard on the feather, shaking their head from side to side to tear it to pieces.
WWX wrestles the feather free and uses it to tickle Little Shimmer’s belly.
“I guess it doesn’t matter,” he adds. “But I kind of wanted at least one of each.”
It’s greedy. He knows that. He’ll be happy with all boys, or all girls. He just hopes they might have a mix of both.
“I guess it doesn’t matter,” he adds. “But I kind of wanted at least one of each.”
It’s greedy. He knows that. He’ll be happy with all boys, or all girls. He just hopes they might have a mix of both.
Lan Zhan cuddles Little Wave against his chest.
“We will have another clutch, of course.”
His expression as he looks at Wei Ying is perfectly serene.
“We will have as many clutches as necessary to achieve an equal balance of genders.”
“We will have another clutch, of course.”
His expression as he looks at Wei Ying is perfectly serene.
“We will have as many clutches as necessary to achieve an equal balance of genders.”
Wei Ying drops the feather and pounces on his husband.
“Lan Zhan!” he cries.
He attacks his husband’s face with kisses. Lan Zhan gives one of his delightful little secret smiles.
“Making such a proposition in front of innocent children! Have you no shame!”
“Lan Zhan!” he cries.
He attacks his husband’s face with kisses. Lan Zhan gives one of his delightful little secret smiles.
“Making such a proposition in front of innocent children! Have you no shame!”
WWX plants a wet, emphatic kiss on his husband’s nose.
“Go copy Conduct right now!’
Lan Zhan just shifts onto his side. He deposits Little Wave onto WWX's chest with airy unconcern.
WWX lets out a groan. He doesn’t think he’s doing a very good job of managing his husband.
“Go copy Conduct right now!’
Lan Zhan just shifts onto his side. He deposits Little Wave onto WWX's chest with airy unconcern.
WWX lets out a groan. He doesn’t think he’s doing a very good job of managing his husband.
Lan Zhan clearly knows who rules the roost in their little home.
But that’s all right. His husband gave him three perfect babies and a brand-new golden core. WWX figures he doesn’t have much to complain about. Not even if his husband is a lot more scandalous than WWX realized!
But that’s all right. His husband gave him three perfect babies and a brand-new golden core. WWX figures he doesn’t have much to complain about. Not even if his husband is a lot more scandalous than WWX realized!
And a week later, WWX doesn’t have anything to complain about at all.
He falls asleep, twenty-nine days after the hatching. He wakes up to find a plump baby in the cradle, gnawing on her siblings. Little Blue has shifted, and she’s gorgeous.
He falls asleep, twenty-nine days after the hatching. He wakes up to find a plump baby in the cradle, gnawing on her siblings. Little Blue has shifted, and she’s gorgeous.
She’s got Lan Zhan’s round cheeks and plump lips. And she has the most exquisite ears WWX has ever seen in his life.
Lan Zhan agrees. So do LXC and LQR.
WQ won’t concede that there’s anything special about Little Blue’s ears. But she says the baby is as healthy as they come.
Lan Zhan agrees. So do LXC and LQR.
WQ won’t concede that there’s anything special about Little Blue’s ears. But she says the baby is as healthy as they come.
Little Shimmer shifts the following morning, and they have another daughter. Then Little Wave shifts the following night, and they have a son.
The babies cry at the top of their lungs. They spit up after every meal. They still love to bite.
The babies cry at the top of their lungs. They spit up after every meal. They still love to bite.
WWX has never loved anyone so much in his entire life.
Except Lan Zhan, of course.
And Lan Zhan is unbearably smug at the first-mouth party, holding out the babies to LXC so they can be formally presented to the clan. But WWX thinks he’s earned it.
Except Lan Zhan, of course.
And Lan Zhan is unbearably smug at the first-mouth party, holding out the babies to LXC so they can be formally presented to the clan. But WWX thinks he’s earned it.
Little Blue becomes A-Xiang, courtesy name Lan Mingxia.
Little Shimmer becomes A-Ye, courtesy name Lan Liling.
Little Wave becomes A-Hai, courtesy name Lan Qianfan.
A Lan scribe writes the names down in the family record.
Little Shimmer becomes A-Ye, courtesy name Lan Liling.
Little Wave becomes A-Hai, courtesy name Lan Qianfan.
A Lan scribe writes the names down in the family record.
LXC beams with pride as he holds up each baby in turn, pronouncing the names of his nieces and nephew.
The Lans are all very happy. No matter what the elders think of him, they’re delighted that Lan Zhan has produced three healthy babies for the clan.
The Lans are all very happy. No matter what the elders think of him, they’re delighted that Lan Zhan has produced three healthy babies for the clan.
They smile and nod approvingly as LXC displays each baby to the guests. The elders offer up lots of gifts, and there are red eggs galore.
Gifts flow in from other sects too. There’s a pile of silks and furs from Qinghe, enough material to clothe the babies for about ten years.
Gifts flow in from other sects too. There’s a pile of silks and furs from Qinghe, enough material to clothe the babies for about ten years.
When JC shows up to the first month party, he brings a ridiculous amount of jewelry.
WWX laughs at him.
“Jiang Cheng! What is she supposed to do with these?”
WWX brandishes a set of gold hairpins encrusted with freshwater pearls, bestowed upon A-Ye.
WWX laughs at him.
“Jiang Cheng! What is she supposed to do with these?”
WWX brandishes a set of gold hairpins encrusted with freshwater pearls, bestowed upon A-Ye.
“She doesn’t have any hair yet! Look at her! She's bald!"
He holds up A-Ye for emphasis.
But JC just huffs and snatches at the hairpins. He puts them back into their case. Then he confiscates A-Ye, too.
He holds up A-Ye for emphasis.
But JC just huffs and snatches at the hairpins. He puts them back into their case. Then he confiscates A-Ye, too.
“She’s not bald! She has a little hair, and she’ll have more later."
He plops down into a window seat, looking huffy.
"Those are supposed to be for her dowry, idiot.”
He jerks his chin toward the hairpins.
He plops down into a window seat, looking huffy.
"Those are supposed to be for her dowry, idiot.”
He jerks his chin toward the hairpins.
Then he busies himself with whispering to A-Ye that her father is very stupid, and she shouldn’t listen to anything he says. She should only listen to her uncle and her auntie, because they’re sensible people.
WWX has to go into the next room for a little while.
WWX has to go into the next room for a little while.
If he doesn’t leave, he’s afraid he might burst into tears. Then JC will want to know what’s wrong.
They still haven’t talked about it yet. WQ says they’ll HAVE to talk about it, sooner or later. Lan Zhan hasn’t said much, but he murmured something about how he’d want to know.
They still haven’t talked about it yet. WQ says they’ll HAVE to talk about it, sooner or later. Lan Zhan hasn’t said much, but he murmured something about how he’d want to know.
If his brother made such a great sacrifice for him, he'd want to know.
But WWX can’t bear to tell JC.
He tried to tell himself that it doesn’t matter, exactly. He has a new golden core, pulsing away in his belly. It’s just a tiny little hummingbird of a thing, but it’s there.
But WWX can’t bear to tell JC.
He tried to tell himself that it doesn’t matter, exactly. He has a new golden core, pulsing away in his belly. It’s just a tiny little hummingbird of a thing, but it’s there.
Sometimes, WWX lies awake at night and marvels over it.
It feels like a fever dream, a hallucination. He’s half-afraid he’ll wake up any minute, and discover that he’s alone at the Burial Mounds.
Maybe none of this was real, after all.
It feels like a fever dream, a hallucination. He’s half-afraid he’ll wake up any minute, and discover that he’s alone at the Burial Mounds.
Maybe none of this was real, after all.
But when he wakes up, it’s because the babies are crying for their breakfast.
His new core flickers and flutters. It’s not strong, but it could be someday. It will be, Lan Zhan says. All WWX has to do is work at it for a few more years.
His new core flickers and flutters. It’s not strong, but it could be someday. It will be, Lan Zhan says. All WWX has to do is work at it for a few more years.
And if that’s the case, JC probably doesn’t need to know the truth.
He brought WWX’s sword with him the first month party. He presented it with the rest of the gifts. He said he was tired of having it clutter up Lotus Pier, so WWX should look after it himself now.
He brought WWX’s sword with him the first month party. He presented it with the rest of the gifts. He said he was tired of having it clutter up Lotus Pier, so WWX should look after it himself now.
WWX took it. But he knows it will be some time before he can wield it again.
He can probably find some excuse for that. Apparently, the Lans don’t expect the parents of young children to go on night hunts. WWX has an excuse for staying inside and working on his cultivation.
He can probably find some excuse for that. Apparently, the Lans don’t expect the parents of young children to go on night hunts. WWX has an excuse for staying inside and working on his cultivation.
But someday, he’ll have to explain himself.
People will ask him why he stopped using his sword. Why he became the Yiling Patriarch. Why he cut himself off from the Jiangs for several months.
WWX doesn’t think he owes the rest of the world an explanation.
People will ask him why he stopped using his sword. Why he became the Yiling Patriarch. Why he cut himself off from the Jiangs for several months.
WWX doesn’t think he owes the rest of the world an explanation.
But he admits, if only to himself, that he probably owes it to JC and Shijie.
They’ll be visiting Koi Tower soon enough. Shijie is desperate to see his babies, and WWX is desperate to see hers. So they’ll be traveling with a whole Lan contingent.
They’ll be visiting Koi Tower soon enough. Shijie is desperate to see his babies, and WWX is desperate to see hers. So they’ll be traveling with a whole Lan contingent.
They ride in a big carriages with the babies, and piles of official gifts for his nephew. LXC will be with them. WWX will be officially presented to the rest of the cultivation world as Lan Zhan’s husband and the babies’ father.
The Lan intend to show him off a bit. They want to drive home that WWX is officially “rehabilitated” and an official member of their sect.
But WWX doesn't know quite what to expect.
“How awful do you think the Jins will be?” WWX wonders.
But WWX doesn't know quite what to expect.
“How awful do you think the Jins will be?” WWX wonders.
He and Lan Zhan are in bed, trying to decide if they have enough energy for another round of dual-cultivating.
The babies are tucked into their cradles, fast asleep. But it took a long time to settle A-Hai, and WWX isn’t sure he has the stamina for anything fun tonight.
The babies are tucked into their cradles, fast asleep. But it took a long time to settle A-Hai, and WWX isn’t sure he has the stamina for anything fun tonight.
So he doesn’t feel bad about ruining the mood with talk of the Jins.
Lan Zhan makes a face at the name, and WWX laughs. But after a moment, Lan Zhan gives a small, elegant shrug.
“Their persecution of unarmed civilians is now common knowledge.”
Lan Zhan makes a face at the name, and WWX laughs. But after a moment, Lan Zhan gives a small, elegant shrug.
“Their persecution of unarmed civilians is now common knowledge.”
He rolls onto his side to stare into WWX’s eyes.
“And there is reason to believe that they slaughtered civilians after the war, without the knowledge or agreement of the other sects.”
Lan Zhan pauses.
“They have lost some face recently,” he adds.
“And there is reason to believe that they slaughtered civilians after the war, without the knowledge or agreement of the other sects.”
Lan Zhan pauses.
“They have lost some face recently,” he adds.
“Both Uncle and Sect Leader Nie have openly denounced their actions. Very few sects have spoken up to defend the Jins.”
WWX grimaces.
“So you think they’ll only be forty percent awful?” He seesaws his hand. “Maybe fifty percent?”
WWX grimaces.
“So you think they’ll only be forty percent awful?” He seesaws his hand. “Maybe fifty percent?”
He knows better than to expect anything like civility.
JGS may smile graciously when WWX enters with the Lan delegation. But he’ll definitely find a way to slip in a few barbed comments to the rest of the guests. He'll speculate on WWX’s perfidy toward the Jiangs.
JGS may smile graciously when WWX enters with the Lan delegation. But he’ll definitely find a way to slip in a few barbed comments to the rest of the guests. He'll speculate on WWX’s perfidy toward the Jiangs.
Maybe he'll hint that WWX's lack of loyalty to the sect that raised him is a sign of his general untrustworthiness.
Lan Zhan sighs.
“I never expect Jin Guangshan to conduct himself well. Jin Zixun may also make trouble.”
He strokes WWX's brow.
Lan Zhan sighs.
“I never expect Jin Guangshan to conduct himself well. Jin Zixun may also make trouble.”
He strokes WWX's brow.
“But without allies, it will be difficult for them to do more than whisper insults.”
WWX thinks that over.
He’s not quite convinced, and it must show on his face. Lan Zhan’s fingers, tracing his cheek, pause.
WWX thinks that over.
He’s not quite convinced, and it must show on his face. Lan Zhan’s fingers, tracing his cheek, pause.
“Wei Ying. You are part of the Lan sect now. To insult you is to insult me and my children.”
He shifts closer, resting his head against WWX’s shoulder.
“My brother will not allow this.”
WWX is quiet, thinking.
“Neither will yours,” Lan Zhan adds, after a moment.
He shifts closer, resting his head against WWX’s shoulder.
“My brother will not allow this.”
WWX is quiet, thinking.
“Neither will yours,” Lan Zhan adds, after a moment.
His voice is very soft.
WWX swallows hard as Lan Zhan’s fingers twine through his hair.
“Wei Ying. You are not alone.”
His thumb strokes the back of WWX’s neck.
“There are people who will fight for you now. If the Jins make trouble, you will not face them alone.”
WWX swallows hard as Lan Zhan’s fingers twine through his hair.
“Wei Ying. You are not alone.”
His thumb strokes the back of WWX’s neck.
“There are people who will fight for you now. If the Jins make trouble, you will not face them alone.”
It’s true, WWX realizes.
The other sects are closing ranks. The Lans have positioned themselves, ready to protect Lan Zhan and the babies. Meanwhile, the Nie sect has always had a close friendship with the Lans, and NMJ is only too happy to have an excuse to denounce JGS.
The other sects are closing ranks. The Lans have positioned themselves, ready to protect Lan Zhan and the babies. Meanwhile, the Nie sect has always had a close friendship with the Lans, and NMJ is only too happy to have an excuse to denounce JGS.
JC doesn’t have to choose between sticking by WWX or taking on the rest of the cultivation world alone. He can throw his support behind the Lans and the Nies, and they’ll back him up.
JC isn’t fighting alone anymore. And neither is WWX.
The realization is staggering, humbling.
JC isn’t fighting alone anymore. And neither is WWX.
The realization is staggering, humbling.
It’s not perfect, of course.
Sometimes, WWX wakes up from a nightmare, shaking and covered in cold sweat.
Sometimes, his belly burns and he remembers every instant of the surgery.
Sometimes, he can smell the decay of the Burial Mounds and taste rotting flesh in his mouth.
Sometimes, WWX wakes up from a nightmare, shaking and covered in cold sweat.
Sometimes, his belly burns and he remembers every instant of the surgery.
Sometimes, he can smell the decay of the Burial Mounds and taste rotting flesh in his mouth.
Sometimes, he feels cold and empty and alone.
But when that happens, Lan Zhan puts him to bed. He brings the babies into bed with them. Then he crawls under the covers with WWX.
WWX shuts his eyes and listens to the little grunts and coos.
But when that happens, Lan Zhan puts him to bed. He brings the babies into bed with them. Then he crawls under the covers with WWX.
WWX shuts his eyes and listens to the little grunts and coos.
One of the babies - usually A-Xiang - starts kicking him in the side.
Lan Zhan strokes his hair, and WWX reaches out to touch his children’s soft velvety cheeks.
And he finds he can bear it, then. Even if some days are a little hard, he can bear it.
Lan Zhan strokes his hair, and WWX reaches out to touch his children’s soft velvety cheeks.
And he finds he can bear it, then. Even if some days are a little hard, he can bear it.
Because Lan Zhan is right. He’s not alone anymore. He has a family, and a fledgling golden core.
He wakes up in a warm bed, with a husband who smiles when their eyes meet across the pillows. He has three fat babies who flail their chubby fists and holler when he puts them down.
He wakes up in a warm bed, with a husband who smiles when their eyes meet across the pillows. He has three fat babies who flail their chubby fists and holler when he puts them down.
He’s not alone. He’ll never be alone again.
So when the time comes to make the journey to Koi Tower, WWX is ready.
He’s already secured the Stygian Tiger Seal in the Cold Pond Cave. That was part of the agreement, so the elders would consent to his marriage.
So when the time comes to make the journey to Koi Tower, WWX is ready.
He’s already secured the Stygian Tiger Seal in the Cold Pond Cave. That was part of the agreement, so the elders would consent to his marriage.
He’s sealed it up, behind thick wards and a web of talismans that only WWX can breach.
But there are signal talismans, too. If he ever takes the seal out, LXC, NMJ, and JC will know at once.
But there are signal talismans, too. If he ever takes the seal out, LXC, NMJ, and JC will know at once.
That, LXC said, ought to calm any restless politicians who might worry about WWX using his weapon again. If they object to this arrangement, they’ll have to declare that they don’t trust three Great Sect leaders to manage WWX.
And they won’t do that, LXC said. They won’t dare.
And they won’t do that, LXC said. They won’t dare.
It’s a stalemate, an impasse. Even the Jins will have a tough time finding an excuse to object.
WWX suspects they’ll try their luck anyway. But when he crowds into the carriage with Lan Zhan and the babies, his heart is light.
After all, he’s not alone.
WWX suspects they’ll try their luck anyway. But when he crowds into the carriage with Lan Zhan and the babies, his heart is light.
After all, he’s not alone.
His husband squeezes his hand. Then he transfers A-Ye onto WWX's lap.
WWX rocks her. He watches Lan Zhan juggle A-Xiang and A-Hai. The babies study the carriage with bright, curious eyes.
A-Hai catches hold of a lock of Lan Zhan’s hair, and tugs hard. Lan Zhan winces.
WWX rocks her. He watches Lan Zhan juggle A-Xiang and A-Hai. The babies study the carriage with bright, curious eyes.
A-Hai catches hold of a lock of Lan Zhan’s hair, and tugs hard. Lan Zhan winces.
WWX laughs and reaches out to rescue his husband.
Shijie will love the babies. WWX can’t wait to see her smile as she lifts them into her arms.
He can’t wait to hold his own nephew, little A-Ling with his big eyes and fat cheeks and red face.
Shijie will love the babies. WWX can’t wait to see her smile as she lifts them into her arms.
He can’t wait to hold his own nephew, little A-Ling with his big eyes and fat cheeks and red face.
She wrote him just two nights ago. She said that her baby had finally shifted, and he was perfect. WWX can’t wait to meet him.
The carriage door shuts, and the wheels rumble along the road. A-Hai gives a little cry of surprise, dropping his hold on Lan Zhan’s hair.
The carriage door shuts, and the wheels rumble along the road. A-Hai gives a little cry of surprise, dropping his hold on Lan Zhan’s hair.
A-Hai blinks as the world outside wheels past, a flurry of trees and bushes.
WWX lifts A-Ye up and kisses her brow. She DOES have a bit more hair than she had at her first month party. JC will be so smug about that!
He meets Lan Zhan’s eyes and smiles.
WWX lifts A-Ye up and kisses her brow. She DOES have a bit more hair than she had at her first month party. JC will be so smug about that!
He meets Lan Zhan’s eyes and smiles.
And the carriage whisks them down the mountainside, down the road to Koi Tower, together.
🥚 THE END 🥚
🥚 THE END 🥚
...AND NOBODY DIES AT THE FIRST MONTH PARTY, OR ON THE ROAD THERE.
Unless you wanna believe that JZX is killed by a random rockslide, and JGS trips and falls down the Koi Tower staircase. In which case, I support your headcanons.💖
THE END, FOR REAL.
Unless you wanna believe that JZX is killed by a random rockslide, and JGS trips and falls down the Koi Tower staircase. In which case, I support your headcanons.💖
THE END, FOR REAL.
...Also, I have discovered that this threadfic wound up at about 73k words.
Which is *chokes slightly* a perfectly normal length for a threadfic, I don't know what you guys are talking about, haha. 💀
Unspooled version here:
threadreaderapp.com/thread/1417174…
Which is *chokes slightly* a perfectly normal length for a threadfic, I don't know what you guys are talking about, haha. 💀
Unspooled version here:
threadreaderapp.com/thread/1417174…
I do intend to clean this up for AO3, but I make NO promises about how long that'll take. 😅
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