Dreamweasel Profile picture
Jul 20, 2021 4 tweets 1 min read Read on X
1. The Cult of Trump is still very much alive and well
2. Your hypothetical scenario would be strengthened with the inclusion of an actual candidate who could beat Trump in an upcoming Republican primary
3. And no, the “shrug” emoji is not a valid substitute
I’m not trying to piss you off, but I am trying to illustrate how thoroughly the Republican mainstream is still very much in thrall of Trump. They don’t see things the same way we do.
Anyone who still supports Trump in 2021 believes one of the following things:

1. Trump won the election
2. 1/6 was not a violent insurrection
3. The violence on 1/6 was Antifa’s fault
4. Even if none of the first three are true, they’re okay with it because Democrats are worse
If you see a TRUMP yard sign or truck flag in 2021, it means “I want him to steal the next one.”

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More from @Dreamweasel

Oct 31
TEN CLOSING ARGUMENTS FROM THE ANDREW CUOMO CAMPAIGN

10. Can everybody please just remember 2020 when I cared about the people of this city and wasn’t a complete asshole

9. If you’re scared of Muslims and don’t wanna vote for the beret-wearing lunatic with 17 cats, I’m your guy
8. The Mayor of New York should be prepared to protect its citizens from a terrorist attack that he did not personally perpetrate

7. I am proud to have the endorsement of wildly popular former mayors Eric Adams and Michael Bloomberg
6. Yes, I know that Mamdani defeated me in the Democratic primary, but everyone should know by now that I’m not very good at taking “No” for an answer

5. New York City needs a mayor who’s not afraid to tell hard and deeply racist truths
Read 6 tweets
Oct 27
TWELVE MORE STATEMENTS THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN DISMISSED AS “TDS” IF THE DEMOCRATS HAD EVEN IMAGINED THEM DURING THE 2024 CAMPAIGN

New blog post:
open.substack.com/pub/dreamwease…Image
1. Donald Trump will order multiple air strikes on fishing boats leaving Venezuela, insisting without evidence that the people he just killed were dangerous drug traffickers
While vessels of that size are far likelier to include migrants and refugees, the official GOP party line will be that any such people are equally deserving of swift and immediate death
Read 15 tweets
Sep 2
TEN REASONS DONALD TRUMP MIGHT NOT GET INTO HEAVEN

10. Was supposed to dutifully follow the Ten Commandnents and avoid the Seven Deadly Sins; not vice versa

9. Still some debate among Biblical scholars as to which of our 45,000 sects of Christianity is actually the correct one
8. Has occasionally been known to wear garments with mixed fabrics and eat meat on Fridays

7. Elon Musk still working on that industrial-strength Cyberneedle with an eye big enough for a camel to fit through
6. St. Peter will probably just be insulted when Trump tries to slip him a C-note

5. Heaven not exactly overflowing with pathological liars and thieves who sexually assaulted multiple women
Read 6 tweets
Aug 31
TEN THINGS FOX NEWS MIGHT POSSIBLY SAY ON THE BLESSED DAY WHEN IT FINALLY HAPPENS

10. As shocking and horrifying as it may sound, we have heard reports that Muslims are definitely celebrating in the streets of New Jersey
9. We have been assured that Melania Trump is wearing a red dress because red was her husband’s favorite color

8. Frankly, we’ve never seen so many Irish wakes spontaneously break out in our lives
7. This economic consequences of this tragic story are swift and immediate, as you can see from the empty shelves where most grocery stores would stock champagne

6. Is the Biden Crime Family responsible? We certainly cannot rule it out
Read 7 tweets
Aug 10
TEN POSSIBLE DOWNSIDES OF DONALD TRUMP SHUFFLING OFF THIS MORTAL COIL AND LEAVING THIS WORLD FOREVER

A Thought Experiment

10. Presidential funeral will be a long, drawn-out media event that would likely pre-empt the season premiere of LAW AND ORDER: SPECIAL VICTIMS UNIT
9. Pallbearers might be at accelerated risk for hernias and lower back pain

8. The American people will be denied the satisfaction of sending him to prison for committing multiple obvious crimes in broad daylight
7. The wild revelry and nonstop celebration in the streets of every city in America might lead to some headaches and hangovers the next day
Read 7 tweets
Aug 4
GOP, 2016: He’s not perfect, but I support the deeply uninformed racist and sexist pathological liar

GOP, 2018: He’s not perfect, but I support the deeply uninformed racist and sexist pathological liar who secretly met with the Kremlin
GOP, 2020: He’s not perfect, but I support the deeply uninformed racist and sexist pathological liar who secretly met with the Kremlin and let half a million people die in a pandemic
GOP, 2022: He’s not perfect, but I support the deeply uninformed racist and sexist pathological liar who secretly met with the Kremlin and let half a million people die in a pandemic and tried to overthrow the 2020 election
Read 6 tweets

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