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Charlotte Clymer ๐Ÿณ๏ธโ€๐ŸŒˆ Profile picture
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26 Jul, 4 tweets, 1 min read
Lord, I pray you give me the ass of J-Lo and the unearned confidence of Ben Affleck. Amen.
It's okay. Ben will not see this. Ben will be just fine. <3
Look, I like him! "Argo" is an okay flick. "Legally Blonde" is better. That's all.
This may be my finest ever trolling effort.

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More from @cmclymer

Charlotte Clymer ๐Ÿณ๏ธโ€๐ŸŒˆ Profile picture
9 Jul
Oh wow... I'm watching the Scripps National Spelling Bee right now. Six kids left. One of the kids spelled the word wrong but the judges said it was right, so he sat down, and the judges are about to tell him they incorrectly approved his spelling. Whew.
That is brutal.
This is about to be a national story. Yikes.
Read 4 tweets
Charlotte Clymer ๐Ÿณ๏ธโ€๐ŸŒˆ Profile picture
2 Jul
There are countless laws on the books around the country that are now considered frivolous and often funny and the powers that be would never humor enforcing them. Some of the many, many examples...
In Little Rock, Arkansas, it is illegal to "sound the horn on a vehicle at any place where cold drinks or sandwiches are served after 9:00 p.m." (Code 1961, ยง 25-74)
In Rehoboth Beach, DE, it's illegal to whisper during a church service or utter profanity within 300 feet of a place of worship. (ยง 198-22)
Read 9 tweets
Charlotte Clymer ๐Ÿณ๏ธโ€๐ŸŒˆ Profile picture
2 Jul
Some exciting personal news this AM...

charlotteclymer.substack.com/p/and-now-for-โ€ฆ
Here's the TLDR version from @playbookdc this morning...
@playbookdc Many thanks to Talooka Studio--a small business here in D.C.--for crafting the logo and design. You can see more of their work here: talookastudio.com
Read 4 tweets
Charlotte Clymer ๐Ÿณ๏ธโ€๐ŸŒˆ Profile picture
9 Jun
โ€œAs a mother comforts her child, so I will comfort you; you shall be comforted in Jerusalem.โ€

-- Isaiah 66:13
"Can a woman forget her nursing child, or show no compassion for the child of her womb? Even these may forget, yet I will not forget you."

-- Isaiah 49:15
@OceanAirAZ

"For a long time I have held my peace, I have kept myself still and restrained myself; now I will cry out like a woman in labor, I will gasp and pant."

-- Isaiah 42:14 (speaking as God)
Read 4 tweets
Charlotte Clymer ๐Ÿณ๏ธโ€๐ŸŒˆ Profile picture
8 Jun
Thinking this morning of all the PE teachers and school coaches who I saw throughout my childhood call boys and young men "ladies" and "girls" as a way of, uh, "motivating" them and now claim that using the correct pronouns for trans kids goes against their religion.
Well, shit, Bob, you sure didn't care about your religion when you were misgendering cis boys under your care because you wanted them to win in sports.
If you ask grown men who are like this for their reasoning, they have none. There's no logic. They'll get upset and angry that they have to explain why calling a boy a "girl" is necessary punishment because no one ever actually challenges their misogynistic bullshit.
Read 4 tweets
Charlotte Clymer ๐Ÿณ๏ธโ€๐ŸŒˆ Profile picture
30 May
The Vice President's "long weekend" tweet doesn't bother me because I'm a reasonable adult who understands "enjoy the long weekend" is something that even service members and veterans often say to each other at the start of Memorial Day weekend. This is ridiculous. (thread)
Now, would I have flagged the draft of that tweet if I were on her comms team? Yes, because it's the kind of thing egregiously taken out of context on this hellsite by people who engage in bad faith by default. But not because I find it offensive.
I find it not a bit surprising that the people complaining about Vice President Kamala Harris' tweet probably have no plans at all to honor our fallen service members tomorrow while the VP will spend tomorrow doing exactly that.
Read 6 tweets

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