My first time…. #princessbride
Wow this movie escalated quickly … he’s dead and she’s about to be and there’s a loveless marriage and a giant. #princessbride
SHRIEKING EELS! THE CLIFFS OF INSANITY…! Goodness .. #princessbride
(I am going to hear “inconceivable” a lot right?) #princessbride
That’s totally Westley right? The ninja dude? The fella who loves her and was meant to be slaughtered by Dread Pirates? Are we meant to be in the dark about that? #princessbride
So the masked bloke who is clearly the love hero has been helped up the Cliffs of Insanity by a Spaniard who means to slay him, but not before a cheeky DandM about a dead father, a six-fingered murderer, facial scars, and fencing… is this a comedy? Romance? #princessbride

Now the Giant is up… can he kill the Man-In-Black… and he leads us to what could be The Line of the movie.

Giant: “why do you wear a mask?”

Man-In-Black: “it’s just that masks are terribly comfortable and I think everyone will be wearing one in the future…”

Oh we now see that the meanie Prince is hot on the scent for the woman he married even though she told him she didn’t love him. How are we meant to feel about this guy then?

Oooo now a battle of the minds… involving poison and goblets and blindfolds and a good ol’ game of switcheroo..


Oh shoutout Australia… country of criminals and iocane !

Never get involved in a land war in Asia, and never get involved with a Sicilian when death is on the line. Profound wisdom. Profound.

Oh but if they are really in love.. why doesn’t he reveal himself to her? I am considering this when the dialogue reveals the answer… he thinks she loves the guy she married! Crazy! Love your husband? Naturally he must raise his hand in anger… #princessbride
How can she not know it’s him though honestly… clearly he’s not the Dread Pirate Robert’s #princessbride
Oh she’s gone and pushed him down the hill now.

Lol… and now she’s thrown herself down the hill…

Because she’s realised it IS Wesley.

Thank god girl.

Oh no not a kissing bit! (I’m with the kid)


This girl is on fiiiiiirrrrre

Getting deep Labyrinth vibes in this swamp… which one came first?

And which one is better… ?

On there was a big bit of dialogue there that I didn’t really follow… something something Pirates something Name something Fencing… but now QUICKSAND AND A FECKING HUUUGE RAT THING

Now they are heaving great sighs, covered in sand, but that big rat ain’t backing off, just like the little blonde rats tail on the back of Westley’s head.. CUE SWAMP RAT SURPRISE ATTACK !

Oh just bloody hit the thing girl!

Oh it’s ok now because a fire swamp belch has cooked the rat and Westley has pierced the creature many times with his sword!

Oh.. meanie Prince is here. She’s got him making promises. But he clearly doesn’t intend to keep them. In fact, he tells his offsider he won’t. Still, she’s scooped up and ridden off with, and Westley is left to face off against Number 2… A MAN WITH SIX FINGERS! #princessbride
Oh yay. A Crone.

Oh wait. It’s not.

Ooooo there’s a MACHINE

Oh she’s just got hitched. To MEANIE PRINCE…?!?

(Kinda thought they were already married tbh…)

Anyhoo- she does another awkward parade for the people…

And we hear from…

A CRONE!! (Finally)

(The only other female character thus far)

Oh. TRICKED BY THE SCRIPT! It was a dream.

Oh now meanie Prince is tricking her into thinking Westley doesn’t love her anymore. So this is very romantic gaslighting yeah?

Oh. Ok now Meanie Prince has confessed he intends to deliver his bride-to-be a painful, violent death. Goodness how aggressive…!

Now Six Fingers has Westley strapped to an evil torture machine. There are suction caps on his nipples.

While Westley weeps on the sadist’s nipple sucking machine, Meanie Prince continues his murderous planning, and the common peasants clash with armed soldiers for some reason or another. So. Normal.

Oh no the Spaniard is back but he is drunk. But the Giant is back too and he is not. Win.

Ok now the Spaniard is sober and bloodthirsty.

(Oh it was the thieves forest)

Now meanie Prince makes a mistake in talking of their honeymoon to the Princess. He reveals he didn’t send ships for Westley like he promised her he would. She calls him out, he manhandles her, and then rushes down to speak to the poor nipple-sucker #princessbride
Having the suction cranked to Max Capacity is too much for Westley who screams loudly. The Spaniard and Giant somehow figure out who is screaming and why, but for some reason Princess is intrigued at best.

She’s a bit hopeless isn’t she…?

Wait. Westley’s dead? For real life?

“Jesus Grandpa what are you reading me this for?!”

Spaniard and Giant have taken the possibly not dead body of Westley to Billy Crystal’s house.


This is so 80s.

Speaking of cast members… the Spaniard is so familiar but I can’t pick it….

OH ANOTHER FEMALE CHARACTER! This one yells a lot.

Ok Westley’s back. Sort of.

But of memory loss and numb limb drama but otherwise no drama.

And no dilly-dallying.

Oh wait- did I hear Holocaust..?!?

Ok no the sham marriage is on and I think I am finally going to hear the scene I have heard SO MANY TIMES actually play out in context!


Mmmm and are we ok with making fun of speech?

Ok I think they are married … but it feels a bit like Married at First Sight Married… just for show. In fact she’s being escorted to the honeymoon sweet, and there’s about to be a brawl so…

Now the Spaniard is in hot pursuit of Six Fingers, the Giant has lost Westley, and the Princess is doubting love and the meaning of life…




Oh wait- Spaniard is up!

Cue the next line I know from gifs and quotes from people who saw this film when it it was a new release VHS…

“My name is….”

(Go on, you know you want to…!)

Yes! Westley makes it quite clear she actually isn’t married for real life because she didn’t say “I do.”


Oh nice stalling numb arms Westley…

And he’s up! Westley I mean. And she’s tied up Meanie Prince, and the Spaniard is back, but bleeding heavily, and the Giant has found four white horses.

Are we getting to a Happily Ever After?

And then…..

“What! What?!”

Oh. They snog.

The End

(Seriously?? That’s the end?!?)

Oh the credits!

Oh it is the end.

But the real message here was even snotty little kidlets who do nothing but play home video game machines can find joy in a good old book, lovingly read to them by a loving, wise, old member of their family…

Thank you 1980s 😜
If you want more #PrincessBride, join @AndrewLeavold and I for our #80sMoviesReviews on @abcbrisbane - Thursdays, 2.45pm.

What should we watch next?

(It has to be Romance)

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More from @katherinefeeney

3 Aug
Some seriously adorable #littlelockdownlegends stories hitting the inbox.. if you're looking for a distraction, and the chance make your little one's day.. why not sit down and record a quick chat.. then send it to so they can speak to Queensland!(1/2)
Simply open an audio recording app, and ask your little legend:

What’s your first name?
How old are you?
What’s been the best thing today?
What’s been the hardest part?
What made the hard part better?

and then...
A combination of the following:

- if your favourite toy could talk, what would they say?
- what’s your superhero name, and what are your super powers?
- do you have any inventions in your brain?
- can you tell me a joke? ...
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