Thread by @RationalImpact

Mirrmories🪞😶‍🌫️My Tale of Love❤️and Fear🖤
My whole life has been discovering the depths of love and fear, sadly I chose fear over love several times in my past. Those decisions have haunted me, forever enshrined in my memory, and have left me in a cosmic comedic tragedy of sorts.

2. The seed of all I am sprouted in 7th grade, slowly going dark through the years until recently. 7th grade was my first taste of love and fear, from which the greatest of my demons have plagued me. But now the time has come to share and honor them, then finally let them go.

3. I was very spiritually aware in 7th grade and awash with emotions, feeling a mysterious love I could not describe for a random girl I never had the courage to talk to, because I grew up in a very conservative religious world, eternalizing its shame, embarrassment and fear.

4. It made me very socially decrepit! I was somehow embarrassed of my feelings and could not easily be who I really was, having this fear that my religious world would just reject me and any of the girls I liked because of holiness standards and would cause all kinds of drama.

5. Besides, there were very strict ideas around dating, sexuality and so on, even shame around self-pleasure as well. So you can imagine that growing up as a passionately charged Scorpio in a hyper conservative religious world was pressurizing to say the least.😬

6. I became super shy and afraid of girls pretty much, any social interaction really. My religious world was very small and as edgy as I got was Christian Metal. Jesus Y'all!🤘😄This continued until senior year when I broke some of the fear and was somewhat how I am today.

7. Though anytime anything got to close to home my fears came back and I could not face them! I still did not want to cause any drama. I was already secretly going through an Atheism phase and that would have already been hell enough to pay.

8. After Highschool I only kept up with my best friend and sunk back into my anxious ways. I then went to Tech school for a Degree in Graphic Design, but I never really socialized. I honestly didn't want to deal with any of it. I just wanted to get through my classes. Neeeeerd!🤓

9. This is all a very condescended version of my story but in short I got through school and tried to break into the Gaming world in 2019 while also going through my spiritual awakening, than 2020 happened and then as we all know, the world ended!🌎💥☄️

10. Than midway through 2020 that mysterious love I had felt in 7th grade washed back over me out of nowhere and reflected all that buried pain right back into my fucking face! It broke me down to my core! Then I swear it was like some part of spirit was screaming, hear my call!

11. It was then I realized I had to share my truth on All my experiences, primarily on sexuality. Problem was, How!? I haven't done shit! That's right, I don't know what my soul fam assumes of me but I'm still flying Virgin Galactic over here, lol.🚀🚫🍑😂🤣😭

12. I don't know if the jokes on me or everyone else? Why do you think I talk about "self" pleasure, ha ha! Truth is, I went through hell to get my ass here! I had no idea how I was going to pull this shit off but I said screw it and I took a leap of faith into a fool’s paradise.

13. I had already ran away from my authentic self and possibly even love several times, choosing the fear, conformity and expectations of other worlds, and I had made promises that I was never going to do that again! Plus I knew my Truth was very much needed in this world!

14. The density of that sexual shame and fear is so powerful that early on with Twitter my whole body would heat up just from retweeting a dirty meme and my head felt as if it was underwater! Even though I was healing, I felt the shame of others in me and this dread of judgement.

15. Alchemizing these core wounds that really took root in 7th grade have been the hardest thing I have ever done in my journey! I have truly been baptized in fire through all of this, having to melt down these heavy 7's so to speak and forge them into my greatest strength!💜

16. All this may seem silly to anyone who never existed in that dogmatic religious world but what I am doing here is the real deal, transmuting generations of pain, fear and shame! I understand now that's why a crazy Scorpio like me incarnated into that world, a secret weapon!😎

17. Though it's really no laughing matter. That religious dogma sucks the life force right out of people’s bodies, minds and souls, all so the lower vampiric entities can keep feeding off of their pain and trauma. That's why shame around sexuality is such a staple of religion.

18. I'm not here to push some irresponsible sexually destructive world. Rather, I'm here to show people that being a sexual being, even just loving yourself is not a sin, dirty or shameful. It is a beautiful part of spiritual embodiment that should be celebrated not repressed!

19. Where do I even get my knowledge on sexual energy than? Well, first hand experience👋😂That and educating myself in the dead of night, as well as maybe past life experience, downloads?🤷‍♂️Really just from it being my calling I guess. So here I stand, A Virgin with Vengeance!😆

20. Clearly, no one wants to be known as the virgin, in a world where sadly your whole worth can be put into what happens between your legs. Though I wanted to share this as it’s a big part of my story and for authenticity. This is no walk of shame. It is a march of victory!

21. You do not have to have love in psychical relationships to heal and be whole within yourself. In fact, you can alchemize your greatest pains into your greatest love! You just have to choose Love over Fear. I know now that Love can melt away even the coldest of shadows.

22. It’s been an amazing ride! I basically went through a Twin Flame🔥🔥 Journey alone, or perhaps I have had a disincarnate soul mate with me since those bitter sweet days of 7th grade, or maybe it's just been the love of God. Its honestly been the great mystery of my life!✨