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Possum Reviews Profile picture
@ReviewsPossum
Aug 14, 2021 • 7 tweets • 3 min read • Read on X
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I just watched Deep Shock (2003), a made-for-TV movie about wooden actors in an underwater facility made of plastic having a run-in with terrible CGI eels under the north pole. Image
The set is covered in plastic bowls painted silver, I guess to give it a sci-fi texture. Maybe they're supposed to be giant rivets or something. Image
The U.N. consists of twenty or so people sitting in a mostly empty concert hall. One guy who doesn't like Lead Lady's theory about smart eels or whatever just calls a vote to get her removed from her position, and they just decide it with a show of hands. Image
They spelled "losing" wrong. Image
The plot is kind of like a poor man's The Abyss. The bad guy even dies the same way by getting crushed inside a tiny submarine. Image
The U.N. sends a bunch of submarines from a bunch of different countries to launch nuclear torpedoes at an underwater trench, because apparently the U.N. can do that. Image
Deep Shock? More like Deep Schlock! Image

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More from @ReviewsPossum

Possum Reviews Profile picture
Sep 5
If Gen-Z boys don't believe in gender equality, it's because they've never experienced gender equality growing up in a world in which:

• Masculinity is called "toxic" and they're made to feel like creeps just for existing.
• College admissions openly discriminate against them.
• They have to walk on eggshells because any comment taken out of context can get them fired from their job or expelled from school.
• All of their childhood heroes have been turned into incompetent buffoons who take a backseat to "strong female characters".
• All of their role models have been "subverted" and "deconstructed" for "problematic tropes" to the point that they're no longer recognizable.
• Their behavior growing up was pathologized by their teachers who didn't see it as normal boy behavior and treated them like defective girls, and they were put on behavior-altering drugs.
• Having the audacity to ask a woman out on a date while being less than perfect gets you mocked on social media or worse.
• If they become victims of domestic violence, they can't seek help because they'll be laughed at, told it's their fault, or told they deserve it.
• They have no hope of ever starting their own families because they're still expected to be breadwinners despite all of the obstacles put in front of them since birth.
• They're met with hostility and mockery and shouted down if they complain about any of their problems.

Fear the monster you created because they will show you as much sympathy as you have showed them, which is none.
And before the predictable shouts of "incel" come in, I'm just telling you why there was an 18 point swing toward Republicans among men aged 18-29 over the course of only two years.

The Left has been in control of this country for twelve of the past sixteen years, and even during Trump's first term, you still controlled mainstream discourse and held hegemonic control over popular culture and every major institution. You've wielded power and monopolized narratives for their entire adult lives. It should be obvious why they blame you for their disenfranchisement.Image
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The cruel irony is that most of these young men didn't care about politics until recently. They would have just voted for whatever sounded good. All you had to do was leave them alone.

But you couldn't do that. You took away the bread and circuses. Now they have nothing to lose.
Read 4 tweets
Possum Reviews Profile picture
Jul 25
I just saw The Fantastic 4: First Steps.

It feels like a sequel to a movie that was never made in the sense that it foregoes character development that we already saw, except we didn't.Image
You know how in the 2005 movie (which is a totally separate continuity), Ben Grimm is constantly angsting over being a rock monster? Well, there's nothing like that. He has no internal conflict or personal struggle to overcome because it feels like that already happened, but we never saw it. So now his personality boils down to being the supportive best friend and liking to cook.Image
Johnny Storm isn't any better. The 2005 movie portrayed him as this hothead with poor impulse control, but now he's just the slightly goofy one, and he never fights with Ben.
Read 13 tweets
Possum Reviews Profile picture
Feb 24
• Postmodern "deconstruction" of a genre that thinks it's more clever than it really is.
• Everything is ironic because they're afraid attempts at sincerity will be seen as cheesy.
• Bathos (when something serious happens but the drama is immediately undercut by a joke).
• Fucked up moral lessons such as portraying selfishness as good.
• Aversion to heteronormative romance.
• Unlikable "strong female character" who talks down to everyone.
• Fetishism masquerading as progressivism.
• Villain is a thinly veiled stand-in for the writer's dad.
• If it's a sequel, prequel, adaptation, or remake, then it's written less like a story set in that universe, and more like a metacommentary about the franchise where creative decisions are based not on what's natural or logical, but on audience expectations and subverting them.
Read 12 tweets
Possum Reviews Profile picture
Sep 18, 2024
A good character design is one you can look at and instantly know what they're all about without having to be told.

Would you have guessed that the character on the right is meant to be a healer?

I'm gonna look at the characters from Concord and see what I can guess about them.Image
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Keep in mind, I don't know anything about Concord's story or characters, so I'm trying to figure out what these characters are based purely on how they're designed. Tell me if I'm right.

Here we have some kind of lady in a hazmat suit holding a grenade launcher. Maybe she shoots poison gas. Perhaps she works as some kind of space bug exterminator.

In terms of gameplay, I'm gonna assume she's a support class who sets traps or uses area-of-effect weapons to deny the enemy team access to locations.Image
This appears to be some kind of disco lady with throwing knives. Maybe she can throw them in an arc over enemy barriers, or she has different types of knives that do different things when they hit targets.

I don't know why she's dressed that way. Image
Read 12 tweets
Possum Reviews Profile picture
May 3, 2024
"WhEn YoU aDjUsT fOr InFlAtIoN, gAmEs ArE aCtUaLlY cHeApEr Now!"

THEY NEVER SHOULD HAVE BEEN OVER $50 IN THE FIRST PLACE.
"You don't understand! Games are so much more expensive to make now! See, we just have to have celebrity voice actors and Hollywood level visuals! We just can't turn a profit unless we sell you half a game for $70 and make you buy the rest as DLC, on top of microtransactions!"
This is the only industry where people will defend this kind of shit, by the way.

Do you know how much it costs to buy a ticket to see a one million-dollar movie? $10.

Do you know how much it costs to buy a ticket to see a $300 million movie? $10.
Read 4 tweets
Possum Reviews Profile picture
Jan 30, 2024
I just watched the Hazbin Hotel pilot. I had seen it before, but I couldn't remember it.

I hate the art style. Almost every character design is like some kind of edgy DeviantArt OC. Most of them are overdesigned and make no sense. Image
Why does the Radio Demon have fox ears? He has no other animal features, and it makes me wonder if the only reason he has them is to make his silhouette more distinct. Aside from him carrying around a staff with a microphone, nothing about his design reflects his radio motif. Image
"Well, he's dressed in 1920s attire, and people listened to the radio back then, or something."

Half of the characters wear 1920s attire. And that's another thing. Why? It doesn't take place in the 1920s. Charlie has a smart phone. Image
Read 18 tweets

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