40 life lessons a father must teach his son
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= THREAD =
1. Your freedom begins the day you realize nobody is coming to save you
Your life is completely in your own hands. And that’s what makes life beautiful. Internalize the fact that your success is your responsibility alone. Because independence is freedom, and freedom is power.
Your life is completely in your own hands. And that’s what makes life beautiful. Internalize the fact that your success is your responsibility alone. Because independence is freedom, and freedom is power.
2. Self-discipline unlocks the world
To master the world, master yourself. Success requires consistent effort. And consistent effort is impossible without self-discipline. Discipline is your hedge against failed motivation. Do the hard thing, especially when you don't want to.
To master the world, master yourself. Success requires consistent effort. And consistent effort is impossible without self-discipline. Discipline is your hedge against failed motivation. Do the hard thing, especially when you don't want to.
3. Leaders don’t ask for permission
Leadership isn’t negotiated. A leader who begs for compliance is a leader in name only. Assume responsibility. Do what must be done. Do it competently. People will follow your vision because you attract them. Not because you chase them.
Leadership isn’t negotiated. A leader who begs for compliance is a leader in name only. Assume responsibility. Do what must be done. Do it competently. People will follow your vision because you attract them. Not because you chase them.
4. Laziness will kill you
An active mind requires an active body. A slothful body atrophies the mind. And a dead mind destroys the soul. You were blessed with arms, legs, hands, and feet so that you may move freely about the world. To receive such a gift and not use it is a sin.
An active mind requires an active body. A slothful body atrophies the mind. And a dead mind destroys the soul. You were blessed with arms, legs, hands, and feet so that you may move freely about the world. To receive such a gift and not use it is a sin.
5. Be wary of the herd
In nature, the herd is usually running from danger. In humans, the herd is usually running toward it. If you never depart from the herd, you will always be following someone else’s path. Leadership means having the courage to change direction.
In nature, the herd is usually running from danger. In humans, the herd is usually running toward it. If you never depart from the herd, you will always be following someone else’s path. Leadership means having the courage to change direction.
6. True fulfillment comes from improvement
Man is only happy when he’s making himself or the world around him better. The arena of his improvement is less relevant than the progress itself. A life spent making the world more beautiful is never wasted. A stagnant life always is.
Man is only happy when he’s making himself or the world around him better. The arena of his improvement is less relevant than the progress itself. A life spent making the world more beautiful is never wasted. A stagnant life always is.
7. Growth requires pain
Physical, mental, and emotional growth requires physical, mental, and emotional strain. If it doesn’t hurt, you aren’t growing. If it isn't uncomfortable, you aren’t at your limit. But be wary of pain, because while some pain is growth, some is a warning.
Physical, mental, and emotional growth requires physical, mental, and emotional strain. If it doesn’t hurt, you aren’t growing. If it isn't uncomfortable, you aren’t at your limit. But be wary of pain, because while some pain is growth, some is a warning.
8. Comfort is a drug
Where pain is growth, comfort is death. And by the time you realize you’re addicted, the damage is already done. Your ambitions wither in a soft cocoon. Your life gets easy when you do something hard. And you can't do hard things while indulged in comfort.
Where pain is growth, comfort is death. And by the time you realize you’re addicted, the damage is already done. Your ambitions wither in a soft cocoon. Your life gets easy when you do something hard. And you can't do hard things while indulged in comfort.
9. Kindness is not niceness
Kindness signals abundance. Niceness signals necessity. Ask yourself, “what do I expect in return for this action?” A man who wants nothing in return is a man who already has everything he needs. And there is nothing more powerful than that.
Kindness signals abundance. Niceness signals necessity. Ask yourself, “what do I expect in return for this action?” A man who wants nothing in return is a man who already has everything he needs. And there is nothing more powerful than that.
10. Learn from the failures of others
Learning the hard way is to learn from our mistakes. Learning the easy way is to learn from the mistakes of others. Failures are feedback, and every failure holds a lesson. Watch other people like a hawk. And when they falter, take notes.
Learning the hard way is to learn from our mistakes. Learning the easy way is to learn from the mistakes of others. Failures are feedback, and every failure holds a lesson. Watch other people like a hawk. And when they falter, take notes.
11. Diet is destiny
There is no greater influence on your future health and wellbeing than what you choose to stuff into your face on a daily basis. What should you eat? Real foods. The fewer ingredients the better. Avoid seed oils. And never, ever skip your protein.
There is no greater influence on your future health and wellbeing than what you choose to stuff into your face on a daily basis. What should you eat? Real foods. The fewer ingredients the better. Avoid seed oils. And never, ever skip your protein.
12. Money is not evil
If you want to change the world, it’s going to cost money. And it will likely cost a great deal of it. Money is an amoral tool, its virtue determined only by the character of its wielder. Money is not evil. The worship of money is.
If you want to change the world, it’s going to cost money. And it will likely cost a great deal of it. Money is an amoral tool, its virtue determined only by the character of its wielder. Money is not evil. The worship of money is.
13. Pay yourself first
Give every dollar you earn a purpose. And no matter what you do, always pay yourself first. With a few clicks on your phone, you can auto-invest in any index fund you choose. Invest your money in your future before you ever have a chance to waste it.
Give every dollar you earn a purpose. And no matter what you do, always pay yourself first. With a few clicks on your phone, you can auto-invest in any index fund you choose. Invest your money in your future before you ever have a chance to waste it.
14. Threats are inevitable
VioIence is a feature of humanity, not a bug. As long as resources remain finite, and as long as humans reproduce sexually, vioIence will exist. You will face threats. That is the world in which you live. Willfully ignore this fact at your own peril.
VioIence is a feature of humanity, not a bug. As long as resources remain finite, and as long as humans reproduce sexually, vioIence will exist. You will face threats. That is the world in which you live. Willfully ignore this fact at your own peril.
15. Practice situational awareness
As surely as you will face threats, you will also be the last line of defense for threats against your family. You must always be aware of your surroundings. Eyes up, head on a swivel. And you can’t do this with your face buried in your phone.
As surely as you will face threats, you will also be the last line of defense for threats against your family. You must always be aware of your surroundings. Eyes up, head on a swivel. And you can’t do this with your face buried in your phone.
16. Women recoil from neediness
If you need her, you’ve already lost her. She doesn’t want you to need her. She wants you to choose her. She wants you to want her. If she senses you have no other options, or that your happiness depends on her, she will drift away.
If you need her, you’ve already lost her. She doesn’t want you to need her. She wants you to choose her. She wants you to want her. If she senses you have no other options, or that your happiness depends on her, she will drift away.
17. Women don’t want to be with a child
They want to be with a man. If you behave like a child or expect her to mother you, you will find only creeping resentment. Mothering requires intense love and energy. And this is reserved for actual children. Be a man, or be alone.
They want to be with a man. If you behave like a child or expect her to mother you, you will find only creeping resentment. Mothering requires intense love and energy. And this is reserved for actual children. Be a man, or be alone.
18. Marriage means loving the whole person
If you expect perfection from your partner, expect to fail. Perfection is a standard no human can bear. Every person has flaws, and every flaw has a flipside. A person’s flaws make them beautiful, because their flaws make them whole.
If you expect perfection from your partner, expect to fail. Perfection is a standard no human can bear. Every person has flaws, and every flaw has a flipside. A person’s flaws make them beautiful, because their flaws make them whole.
19. Darkness causes blindness
Spend too much time in the dark and you’ll go permanently blind. But the same can be said of getting too close to the light. Ignorance of evil allows it to flourish. Abandonment of good causes good to wither. A man needs an objective view of both.
Spend too much time in the dark and you’ll go permanently blind. But the same can be said of getting too close to the light. Ignorance of evil allows it to flourish. Abandonment of good causes good to wither. A man needs an objective view of both.
20. Your life is already happening
People waste years waiting for their life to begin. But your life is happening right now. Every moment is a chance to grow. The quality of your future is determined by the caliber of your present. Any time spent thinking otherwise is wasted.
People waste years waiting for their life to begin. But your life is happening right now. Every moment is a chance to grow. The quality of your future is determined by the caliber of your present. Any time spent thinking otherwise is wasted.
21. Your family is the most important business you’ll ever run
Successful businesses have a vision. They have a mission and values. You’d never start a business without diligence and intention. And you'd never start without the right partner. Why would your family be different?
Successful businesses have a vision. They have a mission and values. You’d never start a business without diligence and intention. And you'd never start without the right partner. Why would your family be different?
22. Truth is the highest virtue
Truth is objective. There are laws of nature and rules to life. Success isn't an accident, it's an algorithm. If you prefer a subjective view of truth, eventually you'll be lying to yourself. Seek the truth, speak it always, and guard it fiercely.
Truth is objective. There are laws of nature and rules to life. Success isn't an accident, it's an algorithm. If you prefer a subjective view of truth, eventually you'll be lying to yourself. Seek the truth, speak it always, and guard it fiercely.
23. Take advice selectively
Most advice is bad. People give advice freely on subjects they know little about. Or they'll project, telling you what they would have wanted to hear. But occasionally you’ll find someone who truly has what you want. That’s the advice to listen to.
Most advice is bad. People give advice freely on subjects they know little about. Or they'll project, telling you what they would have wanted to hear. But occasionally you’ll find someone who truly has what you want. That’s the advice to listen to.
24. Never complain
There is nothing more pitiful than a man who complains. When something doesn’t go your way, ask yourself this question: “Do I have the power to change it?” If yes, take action to change it. If no, accept your situation and move on. But never, ever complain.
There is nothing more pitiful than a man who complains. When something doesn’t go your way, ask yourself this question: “Do I have the power to change it?” If yes, take action to change it. If no, accept your situation and move on. But never, ever complain.
25. Familiarity breeds contempt
People become tired of behavior they can predict. This fatigue leads to boredom, and boredom is one step removed from resentment. Do not be flaky, and do not be erratic. But do indulge in a bit of mystery now and then. Your peers will thank you.
People become tired of behavior they can predict. This fatigue leads to boredom, and boredom is one step removed from resentment. Do not be flaky, and do not be erratic. But do indulge in a bit of mystery now and then. Your peers will thank you.
26. Never make excuses
Excuses are cheap, that’s why everyone has them. Taking responsibility is hard. Looking at yourself objectively and owning your shortcomings is a feat of humility most men never master. And that’s exactly why you should do it.
Excuses are cheap, that’s why everyone has them. Taking responsibility is hard. Looking at yourself objectively and owning your shortcomings is a feat of humility most men never master. And that’s exactly why you should do it.
27. Never gossip
A man doesn’t gossip. A man doesn’t trust another man who gossips. If someone is comfortable speaking openly about the private affairs of another, they’d be comfortable doing the same to you. Run far away from gossipers. Your reputation depends on it.
A man doesn’t gossip. A man doesn’t trust another man who gossips. If someone is comfortable speaking openly about the private affairs of another, they’d be comfortable doing the same to you. Run far away from gossipers. Your reputation depends on it.
28. Gratitude is an action
Gratitude is not a platitude. It’s an actionable cognitive technique you can use to improve your happiness. Tell the people in your life you’re grateful for them. Show them. Express your gratitude for your life in thought, word, and deed. Every day.
Gratitude is not a platitude. It’s an actionable cognitive technique you can use to improve your happiness. Tell the people in your life you’re grateful for them. Show them. Express your gratitude for your life in thought, word, and deed. Every day.
29. People aren’t interested in your problems
If you have present and engaged parents, share your setbacks with them. A brother or dear friend will also do. Find aligned men within whom to confide. But bring your problems to the broader world? You'll likely be met with contempt.
If you have present and engaged parents, share your setbacks with them. A brother or dear friend will also do. Find aligned men within whom to confide. But bring your problems to the broader world? You'll likely be met with contempt.
30. Women want a man with options
Women want a socially valuable man on a mission, who is likely to fulfill his ambitions and aptitudes. She wants a man who could have anyone, but wants her. Are you wondering how to attract women? Start by becoming this type of man.
Women want a socially valuable man on a mission, who is likely to fulfill his ambitions and aptitudes. She wants a man who could have anyone, but wants her. Are you wondering how to attract women? Start by becoming this type of man.
31. Don’t waste a woman’s time
It is selfish to prolong a relationship with a woman who is interested in starting a family while you’re not ready. If you want different things, it's honorable to move on and let her find what she desires.
It is selfish to prolong a relationship with a woman who is interested in starting a family while you’re not ready. If you want different things, it's honorable to move on and let her find what she desires.
32. How you look matters
Your posture is your first impression. Your body composition is your second. What you’re wearing is your third. Don't listen when people say "only what’s inside counts". Your appearance will open doors, your value will take you across the threshold.
Your posture is your first impression. Your body composition is your second. What you’re wearing is your third. Don't listen when people say "only what’s inside counts". Your appearance will open doors, your value will take you across the threshold.
33. Do what you say
You’re only as good as your word. A man who says he’ll do a thing and doesn’t deliver will never have the respect of other valuable men. If you can’t deliver, don’t promise it. If you’re unsure, set expectations appropriately. Under-promise always.
You’re only as good as your word. A man who says he’ll do a thing and doesn’t deliver will never have the respect of other valuable men. If you can’t deliver, don’t promise it. If you’re unsure, set expectations appropriately. Under-promise always.
34. You are your circle
Your associations speak more loudly than your actions. Nothing carries further in the eyes of the general public than the stench of bad company. You are the average of your five closest friends. And other people will notice who they are, I guarantee it.
Your associations speak more loudly than your actions. Nothing carries further in the eyes of the general public than the stench of bad company. You are the average of your five closest friends. And other people will notice who they are, I guarantee it.
35. You get what you ask for
If you don’t ask for it, you’ll never get it. Advocate for yourself, or you’ll never get what you want, much less what you deserve. "Ask, and it shall be given to you." The world gives graciously to the bold, but a closed mouth doesn’t get fed.
If you don’t ask for it, you’ll never get it. Advocate for yourself, or you’ll never get what you want, much less what you deserve. "Ask, and it shall be given to you." The world gives graciously to the bold, but a closed mouth doesn’t get fed.
36. Don’t waste the easy times
Life will throw you difficulties. When things are calm, use that time wisely. Prepare, create, build yourself up. Gather what you will need to outlast the winter. Because you don't rise to the occasion, you fall to the level of your preparation.
Life will throw you difficulties. When things are calm, use that time wisely. Prepare, create, build yourself up. Gather what you will need to outlast the winter. Because you don't rise to the occasion, you fall to the level of your preparation.
37. You get what you give
What you get out is what you put in. You can have all the blessings in the world, but without action they won’t get you very far. The world operates based on value. Create value for others or your value is near zero. No it isn't fair. Yes it's reality.
What you get out is what you put in. You can have all the blessings in the world, but without action they won’t get you very far. The world operates based on value. Create value for others or your value is near zero. No it isn't fair. Yes it's reality.
38. Don’t waste time on embarrassment
Nobody is thinking about you nearly as much as you’re thinking about yourself. You will commit faux pas of varying severity. Simply learn from them and move on. Be comforted that most people are too busy worrying about themselves to care.
Nobody is thinking about you nearly as much as you’re thinking about yourself. You will commit faux pas of varying severity. Simply learn from them and move on. Be comforted that most people are too busy worrying about themselves to care.
39. Tailor your words to your audience
Every person you meet will have a different communication style. Some are blunt, some are subtle. Some are serious, some are gregarious. Success requires speaking to people in their preferred manner, not yours. Meet them where they are.
Every person you meet will have a different communication style. Some are blunt, some are subtle. Some are serious, some are gregarious. Success requires speaking to people in their preferred manner, not yours. Meet them where they are.
40. Look out for yourself first
The best way to change the world, to truly help people, is to make yourself great. You can affect very little from a position of powerlessness. To become powerful you must become valuable, and this will require selfishness. And that's OK.
The best way to change the world, to truly help people, is to make yourself great. You can affect very little from a position of powerlessness. To become powerful you must become valuable, and this will require selfishness. And that's OK.
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