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Aella

@Aella_Girl

6 Sep

If you're in a community with a dude that acts real sus towards women, the only options are a) kick him out or b) keep it hush. This sets up a bad binary; what if the dude isn't *quite* sus enough to justify the extremeness of kicking? What if he provides huge value elsewhere? 1/

If a dude doesn't manage to be egregious enough, have a weak enough social network, or provides too much value, it's hard to trigger the KICK HIM OUT, which leaves us with b) KEEP IT HUSH.
I sorta want an option c) LET HIM STAY BUT ALSO BE PUBLIC ABOUT THE SUS BEHAVIOR

A version of c kinda exists with whisper networks, when you join a community and someone takes you aside at a party after they see you talking to Joe and goes 'haha yeah he's nice but be careful with him, Bethany reported he xyz'd her last year'

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Aella

@Aella_Girl

5 Sep

If cats have 4 legs, but a cat loses one, does it make it not a cat? What if it's also got a bit of genetic mutation? What if it's a lot of mutation? What if it was brought up by dogs? How much catness can you strip away and still have a cat?
This is how I think about gender 1/

There's no answer on what makes a cat not a cat or not, but we can be 'more catlike' or 'less.' To jump from one bucket (cat) to a different bucket (dog, or some other new thing), you need a *lot* of changes to the structure and traits and associations entirely. 2/

And to be clear, I am *absolutely pro* attempting to jump buckets in genderspace, I just also think it's extremely hard to do, because there's a huge amount of traits to strip away. A 3-legged, mutant cat raised by dogs still registers to us as 'cat', tho a weird one. 3/

Read 12 tweets

Aella

@Aella_Girl

23 Aug

Like everyone else, I've been real interested in doing a commune-style thing with some friends, kinda off-grid-ish, because "lil tribe in woods" is the ideal, right?
And I still want it, but sometimes I wonder if we've been too permanently socially crippled to pull it off. 1/n

I would fail as a survivalist. I don't have the knowledge to repair tools, to forage, how to prevent mold, treat wounds, etc. I was formed in a 'civilization' mold, where the most I need to know about my own shit is how to hit the flush lever. Set me into the woods, I'd die. 2/n

I wonder how much something like this is going on with cultural tribes. Are our attempts at tribe building doomed to fail because we're trying to come at it through a 'civilization' mold? How much do we not know that we don't know about how to sustain this type of community? 3/n

Read 6 tweets

Aella

@Aella_Girl

16 Aug

Compared to the average person who will answer this twitter poll, you're ____ than average: A POLL THREAD
(cont)

Compared to the average person who will answer this twitter poll, you're ____ racist

Compared to the average person who will answer this twitter poll, you're ____ intelligent

Read 38 tweets

Aella

@Aella_Girl

20 Jul

i grew up in an actually-really-trad culture; I thought women shouldn’t be allowed to vote, the expectation for my future was to definitely become a housewife, women weren’t allowed to hold religious authority over men, wives were explicitly expected to submit to husbands 1/

I was told women were emotional, worse at leading, couldn’t make hard decisions. I was expected to go to college to find a husband (better than our friends, whose 22yo daughter was still at home cause she wasn’t allowed to be outside the physical headship of a man) 2/

I had to be told I had a vagina, and only was told because I was going to start bleeding soon. I wasn’t told what sex was. I was forbidden from holding hands with a crush at age 16 (which I obeyed). I was expected to have my first kiss at the wedding altar. 3/

Read 18 tweets

Aella

@Aella_Girl

19 Jun

The difference with which people treat transgenderism and transracialism is really fascinating to me. Both involve visibly different (but not always) groups, different cultural behavioral expectations, studies/debate around how much this is genetic, etc. 1/

Many of my trans and enby friends have described their identification as based off not wanting gendered expectations - "ppl think women are like x, but this does not describe me!". This seems like a motivation I could easily see applying to the concept of race as well. 2/

In fact, I pretty regularly see people- from multiple directions- trying to disidentify with their racial expectations; some of it seems reactionary, but some of it seems pretty similar to the attitude my trans/enby friends have - "I'm better described by that group, not this"

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