Thread by @ShweezyLiz

The hornee joongdok with yjh who can’t get enough of kdj/busts a nut with just a single glance from seeing each other is fun and all—but I’ve also always wanted a fun hc where yjh is a sex repulsed asexual while kdj is that ever so hornee asexual who makes the crudest jokes 24/7

I like the idea of yjh just trying to mind his own business, being the ace he is—then kdj comes into his life not just being snarky/sassy but also makes the dirtiest jokes to which yjh absolutely despises and cringes from.

Yjh: this particular scenario is longer and harder in duration compared to the previous ones, kdj you be on your guar—
Kdj: haha, that’s what she said 😏
Yjh:

Kdj: what does a dick and a rubik’s cube have in common?
Yjh: shut up, I don’t wanna know—
Kdj: The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
Yjh: I will end you

Everyone else—especially uriel—at first keeps mistaking their asexual banter as actual sexual tension so its a real whiplash when everyone realizes that they’re both ace. (Uriel is disappointed at first, but hey. The romance is still there)

Hsy at first mistaking kdj’s teasing with yjh as actual sexual tension: why don’t you two just get a room and fuck already?
Yjh: NO. no no no no—fuck no
Kdj: Uhm, first of all… I was playin lol

Everyone thinking yjh is the rough top who dominates in the bedroom but in actuality he nearly vomits at the mere prospect of sex and would much rather spend his free time cooking actual good food.

Kdj is sex neutral. He’s just ‘ehh’ with it 👌

Hsy: wait, so u have the hots for yjh but yet u don’t want to fuck him???
Kdj: Yep. Its like this—u ever see a painting so beautiful u admire it for hours?
Hsy: ye
Kdj: u ever get the urge to fuck that painting?
Hsy: wha—no
Kdj: thats how it is for me to yjh 😌✨

(At the Nirvana encounter)
Nirvana: Why won’t you be with me instead?!
Yjh: I’m not interested in men… Or women… Or—anyone actually.
Everyone else: 👁👄👁

Listen, there’s barely any asexual representation out there—I’m asexual, if no one’s gonna make the ace food I’ll fucking make it myself okay?? Let me have this 😭😭

Kdj’s strategy to getting yjh from strangling to death.

Yjh: I’ll fucking kill you
Kdj: Oh what’s that? Did I hear that right—you want to FUCK me to death?
Yjh: *immediately lets go of him*

Kdj when he finds out he’s actually asexual: Wait a minute… Yall were actually having sex?? So all those dirty jokes weren’t actually just jokes??? I THOUGHT IT WAS A MEME I—

Yjh, struggling financially post-epilogue: I should get a ‘friends with benefits’ people today keep talking about.
((Hsy explains to him what ‘fwb’ actually is))
Yjh:

Adding onto this, yall know those ‘you’re a virgin insults’?

“what are you, a fucking virgin?”

Yjh: I wish I was…

Kdj: So?

Thinking about ace!yjh meeting allo!hornee 24/7 yjh

Ace!yjh: wait, you’ve actually been inside and ‘rearranged’ kdj’s guts…?
Allo!yjh: …yes
Ace!yjh absolutely perturbed: DISGUSTANG, YOU FUCKING WHORE—YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO DESTROY THE SITH NOT JOIN THEM