The smooth purr of my car’s engine, and the highway before me, are intoxicating. The roaring wind feels like freedom.
I have a free weekend.
No hospital, no calls, no COVID.
Seized by an impulse, I drive North.
Open road, past small Texas Hill Country towns. 1/
About an hour Northwest of San Antonio on I-10, I reach the town of Comfort, Texas.
Comfort is a sleepy little town, population 2363 as of 2010.
I’m not sure why I choose to stop here, but I do.
I drive through the quaint historic downtown district, with its old shops. 2/
I enjoy exploring new places, especially small towns.
There’s just so much character that you often don’t find in bigger places.
Admittedly, it’s not uncommon here in the Hill Country to see occasional Confederate flags and bumper stickers.
The past is never far. 3/
However there’s something about Comfort that’s true to its namesake.
Comforting. Tranquil.
As I drive down High Street, my gaze is drawn to a monument. A large white stone obelisk beneath the shade of massive oak trees.
It calls to me. I don’t know why.
I park my car. 4/
It’s peaceful here. The monument stands on a grassy clearing, solemn and somehow strangely beautiful.
A cool breeze is welcoming, and serene.
There is a flag by the monument, at half-staff.
I begin to read a nearby inscription, and discover a remarkable story... 5/
In the 1840s there was a large influx of Germans into the Texas Hill Country, especially after the failed Revolutions of 1848.
They left Europe behind, with its corrupt monarchies, and its religious restrictions.
They sought a new life, in the new world. 6/
On May 9th, 1847, the German immigrants signed a peace treaty with the Penateka Comanche Tribe.
The treaty allowed for peaceful trade and conflict resolution.
Known as the Meusebach–Comanche Treaty, it is one of the few pacts with Native Americans that was never broken. 7/
The German immigrants who founded Comfort in 1854 mostly came from middle-class German families.
Many were part of the Freethinker movement, Freemasons, political activists, and abolitionists.
They had German-language newspapers and a thriving cultural/intellectual life. 8/
They were not keen on organized religion. The first church in Comfort wasn’t founded until 1892.
Most also didn’t believe in slavery, and many were active abolitionists.
So when Texas seceded from the Union in 1861, the residents of Comfort were not particularly thrilled. 9/
They founded a local militia known as the “Union Loyal League.”
In 1862, the Confederate Conscription Act was passed, and Confederate troops arrived in the Texas Hill Country.
A ruthless martial law was imposed by Captain James Duff, to quell any pro-Union sentiments. 10/
Sixty-one German Texans decided to leave Comfort and march for the Mexican border to join Union troops, rather than join the Confederacy.
On August 10th, 1862, a Confederate force tracked down and ambushed the Unionists at approximately 1:00AM, by the Nueces River. 11/
The Germans fought back fiercely and managed to repulse the first charge, but eventually they were defeated.
Nine wounded Germans were executed.
Thirty-seven Germans were killed.
Confederates regarded it as a battle against traitors.
The Germans regarded it as a massacre. 12/
Some of those German Texans who survived “the Nueces Massacre” went on to join the Union Army at New Orleans, as members of the Union First Texas Cavalry.
The men killed at Nueces were not buried by the Confederates, their bodies left under the harsh Texas sun. 13/
The residents of Comfort were too frightened by the cruelty of the Confederates to try and recover the remains.
It was not until much later that they were able to recover what they could find.
After the war, four years to the day since the massacre, a monument was raised. 14/
This monument still stands today in Comfort, Texas. A massive four-sided white limestone obelisk, weighing 35,700 lbs.
It has lettering on it, in German.
“Treue Der Union.” Loyalty to the Union.
And inscriptions of the names of those German Texans who were killed. 15/
To this day the descendants of those killed still live in the small town of Comfort, Texas.
The land of the Treue Der Union monument is considered hallowed ground.
Through the years, people come here to pay their respects, beneath the mighty oaks that bear witness. 16/
I’m not sure what drew me there, to that monument in that small town.
But in that moment as I read about the sacrifice of so many people so long ago, for human truths, I felt something.
Something reaching across space and time.
My vision blurred with tears.
And I felt hope.
• • •
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I was a freshly minted intern, arriving at my teaching hospital with that uniquely confusing mix of optimism and imposter syndrome that had defined my medical education.
I thought I was ready.
Instead, I was hopelessly lost. 1/
Things came to a head early one Thursday morning.
I remember it was a Thursday, because I wanted so badly to have the coming weekend off. To have at least that to look forward to.
As I sat on the Orange Line subway, in Boston, a thought occurred to me.
I could quit. 2/
Oh how easy it could be. To just sit there, and let the train doors close. Miss my stop.
A life without being paged, or being on call. Without so many decisions carrying such grave consequences. With free weekends, always.