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30 Aug, 33 tweets, 11 min read
Had a rough day at work, so I'm chilling with the Archie Marries Betty book. I've had this in my comxiology list for months!
These books are borderline incomprehensible, so everything just feels like a fever dream.
I love everything about this except Betty wearing her shoes on the sofa.

You live in New York City, get those disgusting shoes off, Mrs. Andrews!
Weird thing to smile about but okay!

Also NOOOOO Mary Andrews, our sapphic queen 😔
This is a very dramatic page but I can't stop laughing at, "Kevin? You're an EMT?"

No matter the universe Kevin Keller is just THERE doing 1000 jobs.
Holy crap this got really intense very quickly 😳

We talking about senior care in Archie Comics now??? Okay??
Did Fred just tell Archie that he's the reason for his regrets?!!! This is an awful pep talk, man.
I dunno what's making me laugh more, Veronica bragging about her divorce with her tits out, Reggie looking like an actual cartoon villain or Jughead's sideburns.
"Downloaded movies" ...okay, Archie.
This book is so aggressive I just picture all these scenes being yelled at across the room.
I love how Jughead is a good friend to Veronica but it's moments when she's not looking but really matter - like telling her jealous ex to eat rocks.
I'm not reading the Archie Marries Veronica bits because its boring, but these panels have me CACKLING.

Ripperoni, Hiram. Fly high angel.
I know it's a comic book, but this makes no sense to me.

People have jobs and families all the time. Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban have been together for almost 20 years???
"Talk to me my minion."

This guy better give good benefits if everyone needs to put up with this all day.
This is what I think of when people try to tell me Betty and Archie's relationship will "deepen" but not be romantic.
They renewed their vows 😭💖❤
Comic book Jughead needs to talk to Riverdale Jughead
Varchie daughter Jade is very cute but gets picked on for not texting even though shes like 7?

You can tell this was written by guys who havent had a kid in school since 1987 and are just thinking what things their grandkids say

Also them almost dropping Bitch here is excessive
It is funny that Betty and Archie joke about Veronica's awful nicknames
Aw Lizzie and Freddy!

Thankfully Betty took her shoes off this time!
Don't worry Hiram, we hate it too.
Veronica is the type to look at her oldest friend and say, "Friendships are just new investments with emotional baggage."
Did they really name the Varchie son Andrew Andrews? No wonder these kids get teased.
There's a weird two page spread in Archie Marries Veronica where it's just Betty giving Archie marriage advice because him and Veronica keep fighting (shocker!) and they have Archie and Betty looking a lot happier and falling in love behind them throughout the whole scene? Okay.
A little part of me always thought...
Betty, Freddy and Lizzie are his new dream 😍
I said this before, but in Archie Marries Betty they just seem so much happier together. You can really smell the bias here, it's kinda distracting.
Beronica rises!
Shut up, no YOU'RE crying over Archie Comics!
They really do just enjoy being with the other no matter what they're doing and I think that's very romantic.
Wow, even Hiram survived this universe!

This is what I mean, it's like they want us to root for Archie Marries Betty? I would've enjoyed a book where both relationships are handled with fun nuances, not one be The Darkest Timeline.
Didn't think we were gonna end this series as a poly-relationship, but I'm not complaining.

Anyway, that was weird. I will probably never read this again 🤣

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More from @Astro_Latte

30 Aug
Huh...yeah, I guess Cora (that blonde woman Jug slept with in New York) coming back to Riverdale to tell him she's pregnant would be a crazy cliffhanger. It would also throw a wrench in whatever relationship he has and she matches the 🤰🏼 emoji. I think the bhs may have a point!
If Jughead does deal with his writer's block and his article appears in the New Yorker (or wtv the Rivedale version) that Cora woman could see it since she's a writer too. And just when Jughead thinks his life is settled this one night stand comes into Pops and blows his life up.
While the Betty pregnant cliff hanger would be crazy and blow up the Archie/Betty/Veronica triangle in a soapy way, this also tracks since Jughead needs something next season to deal with and it would definitely be a struggle since he's broke and doesn't really know this woman.
Read 4 tweets
28 Aug
Okay, Roberto.
Do your worst. Image
Me talking about any minor inconvenience ever Image
This is a horror comic so if that's not your jam, you may wanna bounce and mute this thread. 👍🕺
Read 54 tweets
19 Aug
Riverdale Season 5’s Thematic Question & The Three Act Structure (a thread)
Since Riverdale S5 started a bit differently due to COVID, including three episodes that were supposed to be in S4 and extra-long hiatus, I wanted to take a moment to talk about story structure, this season’s thematic question, and how it’s playing out so far.
For the first time since S1, Riverdale finds itself with a smaller story ("Riverdale is in trouble!") lasting for a shorter number of episodes (16 vs. 22).

Riverdale loves to do things big, but it's at its best when its seasons are short and focused.
Read 23 tweets
19 Aug
Wow, this Reggie/Hiram/Mr. Mantle relationship is exactly what I was hoping they would explore and now they're doing it? Woah...
I'm shaking. Holy shit - Riverdale, baby, I didn't know you still had it in you!
Cami is so good when they let her speak sentences and not in baby talk. Hermione! <3
Read 21 tweets
18 Aug
Going by the outfits in these stills and what the episode is about, 5x14 is going to be where we get Chainsaw Betty aka "The Darkest Thing She's Ever Had To Face"
Alice's outfit matches this scene from the 5B trailer
"The Night Gallery" lines up with the Jughead "Ratking" painting, Betty "Chainaw" painting, and something related to Archie during his time in the military. Cheryl and Minerva (her art dealer girlfriend) will probably hold a gallery to sell these as the Blossom Estate is broke af
Read 4 tweets
17 Aug
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHSHAHAHSHSHSHEHEKDJELDKD
Quote me all you want, this shit is STUPID
Read 5 tweets

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