Thread by @Vanessa_Kisuule

So I want to offer some thoughts on rejection as 1) a full time artist who necessarily experiences plenty of it myself and 2) someone who has had the simultaneous privilege and agony of having to select candidates for various opportunities.

It sounds like an empty platitude when ppl say how tough it is to make these decisions but baby, it’s the TRUTH. It is long & complicated weighing up who the best people are for any opportunity. Lots of talented folk + relatively few prestigious opps = lots of thwarted dreams.

I've sat w artists run ragged by the constant chorus of 'no's they keep receiving. I know that any no I might give could be the final no that makes s/o give up on their art. This shit hangs heavy in my heart. It makes me feel nauseous and fraudulent and in need of a long nap.

Hence why I need you to know and understand what goes into these decisions. It is not just about how talented you are or aren't - though that's ofc a big part of it! Read on:

If there is a group of people/pieces being selected, there will be (worthy, important, CRUCIAL) considerations of diversity - the panel will want the selected pieces to be varied in style and subject matter and to represent as many identities as possible.

Ergo your contribution may be great but too similar to s/o else’s. And yes, you may not get sthg because there are too many white men in the shortlist already. Get over it. The fundamental quality of the winning application(s) is still paramount even whilst accounting for this

Sometimes you might actually be too accomplished for the opportunity you’re going for, esp if it’s some sort of development scheme. Sounds silly, but your shit may be TOO hot. A judge has to consider how much the selected person will benefit and grow from the opportunity.

Bias and personal preference are impossible to eradicate. Having a panel of varied folks should hopefully mitigate this but it still doesn’t change the fact that taste will affect people’s choices - one panel may not rock with your work, but another one might. Keep trucking.

This is going to sound dumb, but the judge may have read your application near the end of the sifting process and thus with a less generous spirit than they did at the beginning. Again, having multiple judges should temper the inherent problem of this but -

unfortunately I know my judging capacities shift depending on if I am hungry, tired, menstrual, preoccupied or juggling lots of other work. You getting or not getting something may be the difference between whether I’ve had a Snickers or not, lol.

That may sound crass, but I need you to understand how much time and energy it takes to read through applications. The Southbank Collective received over 400 applications, each of which have three poems, so thats 1,200+ poems as well as the accompanying application forms (!)

Did you ignore the criteria about length/age bracket/publishing history and think your work is so amazing that your rule breaking would be bypassed? Nice try. Save yourself unnecessary rejection and the judges their precious time by respecting the rules specified.

Finally, let me not condescend to you: it is entirely possible your work is simply not be good enough yet. If the judges themselves can’t feedback to you, find someone you admire and respect to give you honest and constructive feedback on how you can improve.

The overall thing to remember is that you are, I’m sure, very brilliant, but you are not the only brilliant artist in the world. Try to cultivate grace and an appreciation for your fellow artists, even when they get opportunities and accolades that you wanted.

Having judged competitions, edited anthologies & now selecting for a collective I see how the process is both extremely particular & also pretty arbitrary. I've judged for comps that I myself have applied for and been rejected by in the past! Bitch, what do I even know, lol.

The people judging your work are not necessarily more knowing, worthy or talented than you. Sure, they've been selected because they ostensibly have a certain amount of experience, taste or gravitas. But, me I'm just a babygirl, don't be losing sleep over my opinions please!

I’ve never taken rejection that hard, but now I really won’t be knowing what happens behind the curtain. Judges just be random people in front of their laptops going ummmm, woohoo and ARGHHHH whilst sipping lukewarm coffee and swearing at a PDF that won’t open.

I’ve also read the beautifully considered and earnest applications of artists who I personally deem to be far more developed and brilliant than me and felt so plagued with imposter syndrome I’ve had to shut my laptop and take a walk, THIS SHIT IS WEIRD.

These judging roles are really not that well paid, esp when you consider how many hours it takes to read, discuss and shortlist for something. It is a labour of love done by artists and associates who are first and foremost committed and ardent fans of the artform.

I know gr8 artists are falling through the cracks. I know nepotism & cynicism are rife. But no system involving humans will ever be completely free of these issues. This is the admittedly imperfect way we’ve built to acknowledge & celebrate exciting up & comers in our community.

Try not to take it so seriously. Be humble when you lose out, cos you'll need that humility when you come out on top. Keep going, keep submitting. If you start feeling battered or demoralised, take a break. You are an artist regardless. I repeat: You are an artist REGARDLESS.

Remember that gatekeepers are mattering less and less now - you can publish your work with a press of the enter key. If you can’t find a like minded community, make one. That's it, I think! Lots of love from in front of and behind the judging table x