Thread by @JordanMBKing

#TIFF21

#NowWatching: THE STARLING, dir. Theodore Melfi

Ready to cry and probably not handle the subject matter but hey 🤷🏻‍♂️

Not sure how I felt overall about The Starling. Melissa McCarthy and Chris O’Dowd were both very good in it though, and I cried a lot, but I think that was more because of the subject matter and its closeness to losing my baby last year. It’s very twee, very film festival-y, and

there’s definitely moments where we are directly cued that “This is a good time to cry” and “This is a good time laugh-cry” and “This is a good time to happy-cry”. It still felt sincere enough though, and I didn’t feel manipulated, and amidst some of the more mawkish elements and

frustrating same-but-different scenes of the father’s grief cycle and the mother’s pained stoicism, there were scenes that rang with a wisdom that connected with me, or a truthfulness that resonated with my own experiences.

More than anything, I commend Melfi for making a film

about child loss, and for doing so unapologetically and full-heartedly.

I don’t know if I should’ve watched it when I did though maybe, because I’m just finding myself stuck a little in a place that hasn’t stopped being incredibly hard to go to and find a way out of.

It’s been over a year now, and I have a beautiful, healthy little girl who I can hold in my arms. But nothing will ever change - nor could it - the fact that I didn’t get to hold Robin. And I just miss them, painfully. And there’s a moment in this film where Jack, Chris O’Dowd’s

character, talks about having too much time and hating it, the implication heavily being because of the feeling he has been given something someone more deserving and worthy was denied and that he’d happily give all of his time to in a heartbeat, and I felt that… deeply.

Anyway, The Starling. Good film, I think. Or just an emotional one. Bring tissues? And if you can relate to the subject matter, ask yourself beforehand whether you’re ready to let yourself into those places yet - it’s perfectly acceptable and understandable if you can’t. I mean,

nobody wants to have ever been there, let alone go back.

Also, you know how there’s the “Did the dog die?” website? Well I’m thinking maybe I should try and start trying to actively flag up baby loss triggers in films. Feel like it may be helpful to some possibly, I dunno.