Thread by @xuanalogue

~11 reasons why I transitioned~

YMMV but I much prefer how it sucks to be a woman over how it sucks to be a man

https://twitter.com/RDembroff/status/1437408111338340352

A lot of my experience is of course tremendously improved by the fact that I have financial security, am accepted by my family and workplace, and am nowadays typically read as a (cis) woman.

But that perhaps makes the comparison more clean, in that I'm now able to separate how how it sucks to be a woman from how it sucks to be trans / gender non-conforming / early transition (which I would rate as the *worst*, compared to just living as a man or woman).

So yeah, one of the best things about transitioning has been learning actual emotional skills, and how to be vulnerable and build intimacy and be emotionally self-aware. I didn't have to transition to do this, but it definitely helped.

https://mobile.twitter.com/RDembroff/status/1437408121652121601

It's also great to no longer feel stigma around talking about feelings, or to think that or reveals weakness, since this is just seen as normal for women - or even virtuous, when you're in a caring/mentoring role.

https://mobile.twitter.com/RDembroff/status/1437408122889510912

As a woman, I feel much less safe around men I don't know than I used to, and now worry about unwanted sexual attention in ways I didn't use to. But I think I prefer this to worrying about being perceived as dangerous (or worse, a transsexual freak).

https://mobile.twitter.com/RDembroff/status/1437408124089085958

I say this while having pretty bad (second hand) sexual trauma. Unexpectedly seeing the word "rape" still triggers me - but I'm glad I no longer have to deal with additionally wondering if deep down I'm just like "those men" (because my brain knows I'm not a man lol).

Also just glad to no longer have to deal with heteronormative scripts around sex and romance in general - I feel sorry for the straights~

https://mobile.twitter.com/RDembroff/status/1437408125393461254

And while I benefit a lot from class privilege, I'm glad I'm no longer saddled with the subtle expectation by my Asian family of "carrying on the family line".

https://mobile.twitter.com/RDembroff/status/1437408127817818115

Extremely glad that I no longer have to try to be bro-ey around men, and can just be gayyyy

https://mobile.twitter.com/RDembroff/status/1437408129038364687

This is the part I think I find worse about being a woman. I was never very affected by male beauty standards and was content w being nerdy & poorly dressed. But transitioning has meant I've internalized some of the worst aspects of female self judgment.

https://mobile.twitter.com/RDembroff/status/1437408130292461576

On the other hand, very glad that intimacy among friends is so much easier among women and queers! Both in terms of social acceptance, and in my own mind as well :)

https://mobile.twitter.com/RDembroff/status/1437408131596931072

Kinda medium about this - I guess I get to set the terms now in terms of platonic affection w (straight) male friends, but I don't like having to worry about whether they have other intentions.

https://mobile.twitter.com/RDembroff/status/1437408132867702791

But yeah, once you're in a relatively liberal bubble, it's nice to know that your experience of gender-based oppression will be respected and heard. This is very much *not* the case for most women or trans people. But it's luckily the case for me.

https://mobile.twitter.com/RDembroff/status/1437408134155358221

To reiterate the original thread, gender oppression is not a contest - and the fact that I prefer my life under patriarchy as woman than life under patriarchy as a man is irrevocably skewed by the fact that I'm trans.

But it is still *possible* to find the badness of being a man worse than the badness of being a woman, and I think we're all better off once we acknowledge even the conceptual possibility that living as a man could be bad!

@threadreaderapp unroll