~11 reasons why I transitioned~

YMMV but I much prefer how it sucks to be a woman over how it sucks to be a man
A lot of my experience is of course tremendously improved by the fact that I have financial security, am accepted by my family and workplace, and am nowadays typically read as a (cis) woman.
But that perhaps makes the comparison more clean, in that I'm now able to separate how how it sucks to be a woman from how it sucks to be trans / gender non-conforming / early transition (which I would rate as the *worst*, compared to just living as a man or woman).
So yeah, one of the best things about transitioning has been learning actual emotional skills, and how to be vulnerable and build intimacy and be emotionally self-aware. I didn't have to transition to do this, but it definitely helped.

It's also great to no longer feel stigma around talking about feelings, or to think that or reveals weakness, since this is just seen as normal for women - or even virtuous, when you're in a caring/mentoring role.

As a woman, I feel much less safe around men I don't know than I used to, and now worry about unwanted sexual attention in ways I didn't use to. But I think I prefer this to worrying about being perceived as dangerous (or worse, a transsexual freak).

I say this while having pretty bad (second hand) sexual trauma. Unexpectedly seeing the word "rape" still triggers me - but I'm glad I no longer have to deal with additionally wondering if deep down I'm just like "those men" (because my brain knows I'm not a man lol).
Also just glad to no longer have to deal with heteronormative scripts around sex and romance in general - I feel sorry for the straights~

And while I benefit a lot from class privilege, I'm glad I'm no longer saddled with the subtle expectation by my Asian family of "carrying on the family line".

Extremely glad that I no longer have to try to be bro-ey around men, and can just be gayyyy

This is the part I think I find worse about being a woman. I was never very affected by male beauty standards and was content w being nerdy & poorly dressed. But transitioning has meant I've internalized some of the worst aspects of female self judgment.

On the other hand, very glad that intimacy among friends is so much easier among women and queers! Both in terms of social acceptance, and in my own mind as well :)

Kinda medium about this - I guess I get to set the terms now in terms of platonic affection w (straight) male friends, but I don't like having to worry about whether they have other intentions.

But yeah, once you're in a relatively liberal bubble, it's nice to know that your experience of gender-based oppression will be respected and heard. This is very much *not* the case for most women or trans people. But it's luckily the case for me.

To reiterate the original thread, gender oppression is not a contest - and the fact that I prefer my life under patriarchy as woman than life under patriarchy as a man is irrevocably skewed by the fact that I'm trans.
But it is still *possible* to find the badness of being a man worse than the badness of being a woman, and I think we're all better off once we acknowledge even the conceptual possibility that living as a man could be bad!

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More from @xuanalogue

24 Feb
it's 2021 and algorithms lecturers are still teaching the stable marriage problem as if its not heteronormative and alienating af to LGBTQ students 🙃🙃🙃
some suggestions:
- call it the stable matching problem
- use less fraught social analogies, like matching schools to candidates
literally just muted this class i'm in because I'm really not here for the masquerading of illiberal social norms as Neutral Technical Material
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13 Dec 20
What I've been doing this week instead of research: Fighting MIT's ridiculous, inhumane decision to stop funding overseas students unless they return by Jan 30 to the US. IN THE MIDDLE OF A PANDEMIC.

We sent an open letter (450+ signatures) in response: tinyurl.com/mit-overseas-f…
MIT's explanation? For the Jan 30 deadline, their interpretation of the 5-month absence rule for overseas students. EXCEPT that the rule is reported to be suspended:

As this student points out, MIT could do much better:
#PayYourStudents #StopRiskingLives
MIT also cites "increasing challenges", logistically and financially, for its decision. What do students hear?
"Let's outsource all the financial and logistical burden from administrators to already over-burdened students."

#PayYourStudents #StopRiskingLives
Read 15 tweets

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