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14 Sep, 26 tweets, 4 min read
Data warehouse
Data lake
Data lakehouse
…
Data hospice?
“Respectful and reassuring processes for the sunsetting of legacy data when it is no longer required.”
excellent prior art from @internetrebecca
10 Things Your Data Infrastructure Governance Needs To Learn From Homeowners Associations
you think that’s a facetious shitpost but actually it’s really insightful and helpful and now you’re annoyed
not enough analogies and metaphors in tech i reckon
Unhoused Data
Data Encampments
The Problems With Building Near Water: Why Data Subsidence Is The Top Unknown Risk To Your Data Lakehouse
Clearly I’ve been trying to make Data jokes for a while flic.kr/p/2kP83aa
Don’t be dumb, people couldn’t possibly manipulate big data and create a data henge without compute-
have you wondered why all modern data looks the same these days and has the same 1+5 architecture
WE CONSIDERED OURSELVES POWERFUL DATA ARCHITECTS
time to long-term nuclear waste warning, 27 minutes
THIS PLACE IS NOT A PLACE OF ATOMICITY, CONSISTENCY, ISOLATION OR DURABILITY
NO HIGHLY ESTEEMED SCHEMA IS REPRESENTED HERE
Data Orphanage for Wayward Data
data poorhouse
data correctional facility
DATACENTER FOR RESTORATIVE JUSTICE
actually a bit worried about that one
wait wait tangent

climate change :: net zero carbon
privacy :: net zero data
DATA OFFSETS!

Buy a petabyte of data privacy offsets!
climate change :: ghg ppm
civil rights privacy :: bpm bytes per million capita
oh man how could facebook buy data offsets and what would that even look like
mr. justice, this whole thread started with data hospices
anyway, offsetting personal data harvesting by…

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More from @hondanhon

Dan Hon Profile picture
15 Sep
Our civilization has discovered how to make 20 tesla high-temperature superconducting magnets! 🧲

We should keep researching Fusion Power.

news.mit.edu/2021/MIT-CFS-m… Image
Iceland has successfully built the world’s first large-scale carbon capture plant.

Climate change 🏭 has increased the danger of global instability.

We should trade gold for Carbon Capture Plant technology.

theguardian.com/environment/20… Image
Many citizens are very concerned about climate change🔥!

Climate change will heavily impact worker productivity📉. Citizens will need to change how they work.

We should research Carbon Coin technology.

pewresearch.org/global/2021/09… Image
Read 6 tweets
Dan Hon Profile picture
15 Sep
Scientific Advisor: We have made a new discovery! Lunar Crater Radio Telescope (LCRT) is now available to construct. nasa.gov/directorates/s…
Agriculture Minister: Climate change is in danger of reducing our food production. We should research Decarbonization.

bloomberg.com/news/articles/…
brb constructing a new format where real news is relayed in the guise of communication from your advisors in a game of Civilization, complete with that little drum noise
Read 4 tweets
Dan Hon Profile picture
14 Sep
Everything is perfectly fine, this is just a major financial institution offering with a straight face the advice to “taste samples at the weekend” as a practical tip for good meals because college is expensive.
At least it doesn’t mention avocado toast?
TD Bank also has a great top tip! Only buy items when they are “on sale”

A sale is when a store needs to “clear out old inventory and make room for new items”!
Read 4 tweets
Dan Hon Profile picture
13 Sep
roy kent is not wrong that sometimes knocking on peoples' doors is the best search engine
google is going to index fucking doors aren't they
also way erase that shitty love, actually scene from history and replace it with something that isn't a disaster
Read 5 tweets
Dan Hon Profile picture
13 Sep
Realization:

When we* say something about Adulting being hard, there's two parts.

1) Taking responsibility. Sure. Nobody likes having to do it. Would much prefer not to.

2) Dealing with the horrific shitty bureaucracy involved in (1)

* people of a certain age/disposition
I would *prefer* not to have to take responsibility for {insert thing like proactive healthcare}.

But once I decide/accept to, I don't think Some People* understand exactly how much of a run-around it is to actually get those things done these days.

* Sure, boomers
Mostly, this horrific practical bureaucracy happens (huh I wonder why) to coincide with older, larger institutions and bureaucracies. Not just government.

For all the talk of Canceling Things, it sure is hard to Actually Cancel Some Things these days.
Read 25 tweets
Dan Hon Profile picture
13 Sep
r/AmITheAsshole is an excellent forum for writers seeking to hone their craft in this burgeoning genre.
Relatedly, there are many communities on Reddit that offer free fiction rivaling Kindle Unlimited on both quality and value for money.
Particularly proud of that double shade there.
Read 5 tweets

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