I know Millennials are supposed to be fragile babies who love telling the world about how traumatized we are, but one of the things that I have realized as I’ve gotten older is how *difficult* it has been for me to acknowledge that I have trauma.
It took until *this year* — twenty full years!! — for me to consider the possibility that I have trauma from 9/11. For twenty years I assumed that because I’d slept through the attacks and was completely safe, I couldn’t have trauma.
And because I have loved ones who witnessed the attacks, I didn’t want to center myself in the story by claiming trauma.

But that’s *ludicrous*. Of course I have trauma from that time. It was a horrific moment, even if I didn’t directly witness it. My city was scarred by it!
One of the things that I have had to realize is that saying “I have trauma” is not a demand for attention or centering myself. It’s a way of allowing myself to recognize that there is unprocessed pain that I need to attend to, so that I can heal and move on and support others.
Trauma is not some rare or special thing, it’s pretty every day part of human life. Existing is fucking traumatizing, recognizing that allows you to function. And you don’t have to have debilitating PTSD to be suffering from your trauma!
Anyway, two things I wanted to share in case it helps people:

The way that I have come to recognize that I have trauma around a topic is if the mention of it sparks a strong (and sometimes irrationally strong) emotional response.
An obvious one for me is that mentions of Gawker frequently launch me into a rage spiral more than 7 years after my lawsuit against them was settled. Still working on that one.
The other thing — something I wish I’d known twenty years ago! — is that in abuse and assault response there’s a concept known as a “co-survivor”: basically, the friend or loved one or family member of a person who survives abuse or an assault.
Co-survivors aren’t the direct victims of violence, but they can still experience trauma, and are still impacted by their loved ones’ experiences. And co-survivors deserve their own form of support!
Anyway. Trauma. You probably have it! That’s okay! Be kind to yourself.

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More from @LuxAlptraum

15 Sep
You can’t say digital is just as valuable as print if you’re not paying digital writers the same as print writers. Full stop.
To be clear: I’ve never written for the New Yorker but I have done both print and digital for Wired, and print *was* more work, at least in my experience. But if that’s why print pays more we should say that.
Read 4 tweets
15 Sep
Did it hurt? When you learned that vegetables are also carbs?
I find it truly hilarious when people talk about their carb-free plate of broccoli… babe, it ain’t protein or fat
Anyway your body needs carbohydrates. The problem arises when you’re only consuming heavily processed carbohydrates with no fiber that your body breaks down super fast.
Read 4 tweets
15 Sep
Seems wrong that Republican governors can needlessly imperil the lives of their citizens and everyone goes, “Welp, what did you expect, their base will love it”
Like all the headlines I’m reading are wringing their hands about whether Democrats will hold on to Congress in 2022 when the opposition’s party platform is literally “die scum”
Love the two party system!!!!!!
Read 4 tweets
15 Sep
Congrats to California on avoiding the nightmare of Governor Larry Elder
You know how people are always like “we’re a republic, not a democracy!”? California — and this recall election — is an example of direct democracy, and it is sadly prone to a significant amount of abuse.
It’s not just the recall: ballot initiatives have sometimes done great things for California, but they’ve also done horrible things too (hello Prop 8). It’s complicated!
Read 7 tweets
15 Sep
Wow if you guys think the Met Gala is bad you do *not* want to hear about this party called the Oscars
From what I’ve been told they get all the Hollywood elite together to — get this — party and network with one another and celebrate their industry with *gold statues*
I’m on the record (repeatedly!) as saying that awards shows are stupid so I can make this joke without looking like a hypocrite 😇
Read 7 tweets
15 Sep
Pretty sure most of the people being photographed on the red carpet of the Met Gala aren’t paying to be there, they’re the attractions (and advertising) that get brands to pay
I.e. a fashion label buys a table and invites Lil Nas X or whoever to sit at their table and wear their clothes
Celebrities don’t pay to attend parties, that’s how they’re rich
Read 6 tweets

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