Thread by @cerbykerby

everything's all fun and games in the human!wwx and merman!lwj au until wwx catches mer!lwj unhinging his jaw to swallow a huge live fish whole

merman!lwj takes his sweet time shoving the fish down his throat while wwx sits in his boat, watching, wondering whether or not to be horny about this

mer!lwj has no gag reflex or restraint when it comes to food. life in the ocean is harsh. he eats whenever he can.

the first time mer!lwj gains his legs, wwx gives him a tour of the town. wwx looks away for 0.01 second and half a beef wellington is already down mer!lwj's throat—

wwx: hi, this is my, um, my friend. lan zhan.

jc:

jc: why is your 'friend' muzzled. what kind of weird kink are you into now.

wwx: oh this is to stop him from eating everything he sees.

jc:

jc: what the fuck

meanwhile, mer!lwj is 1000% convinced he's a sugar baby of some sort because his human sugar daddy can obtain food whenever he wants. wwx taps at the weird straight-edged device in his hand and food arrives on command.

meanwhile lwj could hunt for days without any catch.

// (oops now there's mpreg and bottom!lwj. OH WELL. blame @Xanctus_9's influence)

mer!lwj gorges himself on whatever food is available. he must fatten up before the weather turns cold so that he can deliver strong, healthy young in the spring. surely wwx will want little ones.

wwx is getting /worried/, because it has been days, and lwj's ravenous appetite has not let up one bit. maybe he should bring him to a doctor. or maybe a vet? or maybe a marine biologist??

meanwhile mer!lwj is in the middle of inhaling his sixth stick of butter.

wwx tries to take mer!lwj on a date to an aquarium because mer!lwj is curious about how humans perceive the ocean, but it gets messy because mer!lwj keeps drooling at the sight of so much captive prey in one place. wwx has to repeatedly apologize to the aquarium staff.

"Aiya, Lan Zhan," wwx sighs one day as mer!lwj chills in an inflatable pool and sips at a mug full of melted lard. "Are you sure you're okay? You're eating so much."

mer!lwj carefully structures his words in his head. "Preparation for cold water," he explains.

"For winter? Yeah, I sort of got that." wwx nods. "But I'm worried you'll eat yourself sick. You're not used to land food."

that is true—but so far, lwj has had no complaints. he is fattening up nicely. his ribs no longer show, and his tummy is softer.

"Preparation for winter," mer!lwj repeats as he drains the last of his mug and tosses it aside. he swims to the edge closest to wwx. "And for young."

"And for young—for WHAT?" wwx sits up. "Hold on—wait—you're, you can't be—Lan Zhan, are there babies inside of you? Right now?!"

mer!lwj hums. "Not yet."

wwx stops hyperventilating long enough to look confused. "Not yet? What do you mean 'not yet'? Then /when/?!"

"Soon," mer!lwj says, before reaching out of the pool with both hands and pulling wwx into the water.

if wwx were a merman, mer!lwj would provoke him into a fight as part of the mating process. then after a lengthy battle, mer!lwj would only submit after being overpowered; his mate must be stronger than himself in order to give him young who stand a greater chance at survival.

but wwx is human. he gives mer!lwj whatever he needs: food, warm things, food, pretty trinkets, food, and excellent company. he is so capable that mer!lwj does not need to hunt.

mer!lwj sees no need for a mating fight. wwx has proved himself worthy. so mer!lwj forgoes that step.

tw // nsfw slight dubcon

it takes some finessing. underwater, mer!lwj noses along the inner seam of wwx's pants until he locates the buttons and bites them off. he expertly rips off any obstructing fabric until wwx is fully exposed. mer!lwj croons with delight.

tw // nsfw slight dubcon

wwx is still soft; that won't do. mer!lwj thinks about the way wwx's face flushes pink whenever he watches mer!lwj swallow anything whole. then he leans forward and takes wwx into his mouth.

wwx's screech can be heard through the water.

tw // nsfw

mer!lwj is pleased to feel wwx harden on his tongue but is displeased when, hardly a moment later, wwx's hips stutter and hot seed spills into mer!lwj's mouth.

mer!lwj blinks. that was… unexpected. he surfaces.

"—orry, sorry," wwx stammers. "You surprised me."

// nsfw

mer!lwj licks his lips. "You spilled already," he says, his disappointment evident.

wwx is bright red. "Y-Yeah, I'm sorry." he hides his face in his hands.

mer!lwj studies wwx's soft-again member. "Can you spill more?"

wwx flushes deeper. "Yeah, just—give me a sec."

//nsfw

mer!lwj swims around the small pool with increasing frustration. "Next time—always—in me," he states firmly.

wwx looks frazzled. "In—/in/ y-you? Do you even have an 'in'?"

demonstrating was better than telling. mer!lwj pushes wwx's knees apart and swims up between them.

// nsfw

wwx jolts at the rub of smooth scales against his member. "Lan Zhan, what—"

mer!lwj pays him no heed. he is busy lining them both up. it takes effort. they do not have the advantage of being in open water.

the sound wwx makes when mer!lwj sinks onto him is heavenly.

//nsfw

their first coupling is uncoordinated. messy. mer!lwj writhes in between wwx's legs, inexperience overriding instinct.

nonetheless, when wwx spills a second time, mer!lwj knows to squeeze himself around wwx to make sure not a drop of him escapes.

//nsfw

the second time is better. so is the third. soon, wwx is clinging onto mer!lwj's neck for dear life as mer!lwj holds his legs open and takes as much as wwx's body can give.

"Lan Zhan," wwx moans in between his tired 'ah, ah, ah's. "I don't think I have much left in me."

"Hm," mer!lwj considers as he continues driving wwx deeper into himself. water sloshes around them. "Rest and food."

"Sounds good," wwx croaks as he blindly pats around for his phone. it's soaked, but he doesn't seem concerned. the screen lights up his face.

"I can order some food," wwx says. "Um, do you mind—stopping for a little bit? I need to call this in."

mer!lwj looks at him. he continues to pull and push himself onto wwx's member.

"Why do I bother asking," wwx sighs as he dials the number and holds his phone to his ear.

mer!lwj is content to continue mating until he hears, "And could you add ten double-cheeseburgers to that?"

mer!lwj perks up. he likes cheeseburgers. they are greasy and easy to swallow.

"And put onions on—" wwx grits his teeth as mer!lwj picks up the pace, "—on all of them."

it excites mer!lwj whenever wwx gets food for him. his mate is so capable. he doesn't even need to hunt. mer!lwj has almost forgotten what being hungry feels like.

"Huh? Oh, yeah, thanks," wwx gasps in a response to something the cashier said. "I'll take that too, thanks."

wwx is close; mer!lwj can feel it, so he doesn't slow down his pace even when wwx covers his phone's speaker and hisses at him to, "Slow /down/, you insatiable beast."

"I want milkshake," mer!lwj whines.

"Five milkshakes too," wwx hisses into his phone.

as soon as wwx hangs up his phone, he's coming. his hips stutter and he throws his head back as he groans and fills mer!lwj with his seed.

mer!lwj clenches around him, walls pulsating, and happily nuzzles wwx's chest. it always feels indescribably good to have wwx in him.

food arrives, and wwx has to walk on shaky legs to answer the door as mer!lwj swims in small, tight laps around the pool—just to make sure as many eggs are fertilized in him as possible.

"You don't even know if our species are compatible," wwx argues as they're eating.

mer!lwj knows that there is a possibility that they cannot have children, but he still wants to try. "We will know," he says.

wwx watches him eat a cheeseburger along with its wrapper. "So, um." he clears his throat. "Babies. If you do have babies, they will be… mine."

mer!lwj sips his milkshake. he has learned the hard way not to gulp it. "Yes," he confirms.

wwx fidgets with his fingers. "Mine," he whispers, swallowing hard. "Damn. How many babies do your kind usually have at once?"

"Two," mer!lwj answers. "Three, if lucky."

"Three." wwx nods. "Alright. I can handle three. Um, will you be raising them in the ocean or…?"

"I must go to the ocean," mer!lwj says. In winter, water on land freezes. mer!lwj must go to the ocean during that time to build a nest in safe shallows.

"Oh," wwx chokes. "You're—you're going back. With them. To the ocean."

mer!lwj nods. he devours a bag of fries.

"Oh," wwx says again, more quietly. he sets his food down. he looks at the floor.

mer!lwj stops mid-chew. it is not like his mate to be quiet. wwx should always be smiling and full of life.

wwx takes a deep breath. "Well!" he smacks his hands on his thighs. "You were always going to go back someday. I bet you miss your family very much."

mer!lwj does miss his family, but they are not his reason for going back to the ocean. he is confused, but wwx has already changed the subject.

for the rest of mer!lwj's time on land, he doesn't dare morph his tail into legs out of fear of disturbing the eggs within him.

wwx is still attentive, but it's—different, somehow. he has stopped talking about himself, but has started showing mer!lwj more.

"This is a train," wwx points at the tv. "It carries many people and takes them to different locations."

"This is a cane," wwx holds one out. "Humans use it to help stabilize their walking."

"This is a passport," wwx explains when mer!lwj asks him about travelling beyond their current landmass.

"This is a desk."

"This is a tortoise."

mer!lwj learns many new things.

time passes. when snow starts to fall from the sky, mer!lwj tells wwx that it is time for him to go back to the ocean. wwx's expression is so very carefully neutral as he wraps mer!lwj in wet towels and buckles him into his car. on the drive, wwx points out landmarks and objects.

the scent of salt energizes mer!lwj like nothing else. his whole body is attuned to the direction of the ocean, and he fixes his eyes on the grey, watery horizon.

he expects to be released on the beach, but wwx surprises him by loading him onto a boat.

"To bring you closer to your family's waters," wwx tells him with a smile that doesn't reach his eyes.

mer!lwj has no objections. he would rather not face the orcas and sharks that prowl the shoreline.

wwx paddles them out in silence to where he first met mer!lwj.

mer!lwj slips into the waters with an excited trill. he calls out into the depths and is thrilled to hear his family's distinctive answering calls. he resurfaces at wwx's boat. "My family is here," he says.

wwx looks… too stiff. tense. his eyes are shiny. "Good," he croaks.

then wwx leans over the side of the boat. warm fingers tilt mer!lwj's chin up, and then wwx's mouth is pressed against his. compared to the ocean's chill, wwx's skin feels fire-hot.

"This is a kiss," wwx tells him after they part. "It's—it's used in greetings and farewells."

farewells? the pleasant buzz of having wwx's skin against his evaporates. "Goodbye?" mer!lwj says.

wwx nods, swallowing. "Goodbye, Lan Zhan."

something doesn't feel right. mer!lwj starts to panic. "No," he starts to say.

"Your family's here," wwx interrupts as familiar faces emerge from the water.

mer!lwj barely spares them a glance. "Wei Ying," he calls.

wwx bites the inside of his cheek. "Go to them, Lan Zhan."

"Wei Ying," he pleads.

"Go. They're waiting for you."

"Wangji!" his uncle calls in their native tongue. "Get away from the human!"

mer!lwj feels a rush of water past his tail. then—something rams into wwx's boat. hard. wwx clings to the sides.

"No!" mer!lwj gasps. "Stop!"

another ram. this time, wwx almost falls out.

"Stop, stop!" mer!lwj dives into the water to intercept his family members before they can break wwx's boat apart. "He's not dangerous!"

his family halt in their attacks, but the damage is done. wwx is already furiously paddling away.

mer!lwj surfaces. "Wei Ying!"

wwx's paddling falters, but he doesn't look up, and he doesn't answer. if anything, he bows his head deeper and rows as if he has no other choice.

"Wei Ying," mer!lwj calls one more time, a sad sound amidst wind and waves. he doubts wwx heard him. he doesn't look like he did.

mer!lwj cannot watch him disappear out of reach, because his family is all around him, asking questions, demanding answers, and feeling his body; their hands linger around his belly. mer!lwj suddenly feels suffocated.

he breaks free of them with a, "Pardon me," and dives down.

he swims into his personal chamber in the cave system that serves as his family's home. only his brother and uncle would bother him here, and both of them had seen what had happened.

he circles his room. where had he gone wrong? his mate left him.

merfolk mate for life. perhaps—perhaps humans don't. maybe that is why wwx couldn't even stand to look at him one more time. or maybe wwx simply wants a different kind of mate—a mate who isn't bound to water and can travel on land by his side.

mer!lwj is so very lost.

eventually, his brother visits. mer!lxc swims around him and comments that he looks well. of course he looks well. he'd done nothing but demand that wwx feed him.

"I don't suppose there's a story behind that human that you're willing to tell me?" mer!lxc asks gently.

mer!lwj stares down at his belly. he still doesn't know if any of the eggs took. it will be another month before he knows for certain.

his brother is understanding. "If you'd like, you may retire for the day," he says with a comforting pat on his shoulder.

mer!lwj can only nod.

((I'll have to stop here for now lmao sorry. it's 5 am 😭))

weeks pass.

winter settles in.

wwx goes to a christmas dinner hosted by the jiangs and then spends the night alone in his apartment. he has a small tree set up, because he's not pathetic, but he still feels pathetic for spending the holiday by himself.

by now, mer!lwj should know whether or not any of the eggs took. in just another few weeks' time, there could very well be tiny merchildren in the ocean with wwx's eyes or nose.

he tries not to feel bitter about not being able to see them. mer!lwj had made his choice clear.

there is not a moment when mer!lwj and their children are not on wwx's mind. he thinks about them all the time, even while he's on dates set up for him by nhs.

those dates hardly lead anywhere. wwx does not know how to tell anyone that he may have fathered children before.

spring arrives, and the icy world melts away before wwx's eyes. any day now, mer!lwj will lay their eggs—if any of them are viable—and they will hatch as the waters warm into summer.

wwx wonders if mer!lwj speaks to them much like how humans speak to their bellies.

he wonders if mer!lwj ever tells their children about his experience on land and what he saw, heard, touched, and tasted. he wonders if mer!lwj ever talks about the children's human father.

probably not. no use teaching children of the sea about their father on land.

wwx rarely goes out on the water, but when he does, he make sure to steer clear of Lan waters. at the most, he lingers at the edge of their territory and watches the waves, trying to see if any little heads pop from the water, or maybe catch a glimpse of a familiar blue tail.

one day out at the sea, something surfaces close to wwx's boat. he nearly hits it with his paddle out of panic before he notices the human face staring back at him.

the face is so familiar that wwx's heart leaps. "Lan Zhan?" his paddle clatters as he scrambles to the boat side.

the merman—because it is a merman; humans don't move like that—easily swims out of reach. "Lan Xichen," he corrects.

oh. wwx's hand falls in disappointment. "Lan Xichen," he echoes.

mer!lxc nods, appeased. "Wei Ying?"

wwx's name doesn't sit in his mouth the way it does in mer!lwj's. "That's me." he pats his chest.

mer!lxc makes a thoughtful sound. "Skinny," he comments.

well, that's—that's a little harsh of him. wwx is not *skinny*, he just doesn't have much of an appetite.

as a retort, wwx offers mer!lxc half of his ham and cheese sandwich. mer!lxc curiously sniffs at it before taking it into his mouth. he gracefully horks it down without any chewing.

"Good hunter," mer!lxc says thoughtfully as if he hadn't just deepthroated a sandwich.

wwx is *not* a hunter. he just knows how to buy things from a grocery store.

mer!lxc sniffs. "Good hunter, but skinny." he says it like an off-handed remark.

wwx side-eyes him. "Pretty merman, but mouthy," he retorts.

mer!lxc gives him an uninterested look.

"Good hunter can feed eight mouths," mer!lxc snaps, "but skinny cannot protect eight lives."

"What the fuck are you on about?" wwx glares at him. "I even gave you my sandwich! Rude." he grabs a paddle and starts to row away.

mer!lxc breaks it in two with a smack of his tail.

wwx stares in shock at his broken paddle. "What the fuck?! You crazy-ass merman, leave me alone!"

mer!lxc rams against the side of the boat—not enough to damage it, but enough to make it jolt. "Eight!" he rams the other side. "Eight, Wei Ying!"

wwx doesn't know what to do.

"What do you want?! Eight what? Sandwiches?" wwx clings to his last remaining oar. "I'll make you eight sandwiches, for fuck's sake! Calm down!"

the fury in mer!lxc's face wavers, as if he is considering this. but he soon goes back to circling the boat. "Eight young," he says.

wwx is right on the verge of saying, "Eight young what? Bamboo?" when his mind screeches to a halt. rewinds. plays mer!lxc's words again. again.

young. eight young. eight little ones.

suddenly wwx is very glad he gave his sandwich to mer!lxc. he feels ill. "Wait," he chokes.

mer!lxc looks like he might ram the boat again—this time with intention of sinking it—so wwx scrambles to the boat's side. "Eight children? Lan Zhan had eight children?"

mer!lxc gives him an annoyed look. "Yes. Eight. Many. Wangji is tired."

wangji. lan zhan. wwx nearly cries.

"How is he?" wwx gasps. his eyes sting. "Is Lan Zhan well? Was his labor painful? He mentioned having three children was already considered lucky, how is he handling EIGHT—"

mer!lxc shakes his head. this human is talking way too fast, and mer!lxc can't keep up with the language.

"Can I see him?" wwx blurts out.

mer!lxc's eyes narrow. "No."

wwx's face crumples.

"He watches the young," mer!lxc explains. "He cannot leave."

"Then can I go to him?" wwx begs.

"The caves are deep," mer!lxc says as a refusal. "Very deep."

"Then what /can/ I do?!" wwx nearly hits mer!lxc with his remaining oar out of frustration. "You can't tell me Lan Zhan has eight babies now and then just ask me to leave!"

"Hunt food," mer!lxc answers immediately.

"Food?" wwx blinks.

mer!lxc nods. "We are starving."

that is when wwx looks at mer!lxc more closely, and—yes, now it is obvious. he is very thin, and there's exhaustion underlining his eyes. taking care of eight new family members cannot be easy.

"Alright." wwx nods. "I'll come back tonight with food."

mer!lxc inclines his head, and dives into the water. wwx paddles frantically back to shore, rushes to the store, and buys a ton of snacks. then he buys all the leftover meat and fat from the butcher.

it is a lot of work. he has to constantly shoo birds away as he loads his boat.

once he's in Lan waters, wwx reaches over and pats the water. "Xichen," he calls. "Xiiiichen, Xichen, I have the food—"

a head breaks the surface of the water. it is not mer!lxc's.

wwx blinks. stares. his mouth opens. closes. opens. "Lan Zhan," he whispers.

mer!lwj looks far, far too thin. it /hurts/ wwx to see him like this, bare bones and lean muscle.

"Here," wwx says, numbly holding out a bag of chicken legs. "Take this—"

mer!lwj snatches the bag out of his hand and dives so quickly that his tail splashes wwx.

moments later, mer!lxc surfaces. "Wangji is hungry," he says in an apologetic tone. "He has not eaten."

night is falling, but wwx can't bring himself to row back to shore just yet. "It's fine. We all get hangry sometimes." he shivers as he hands a rack of ribs to mer!lxc.

mer!lxc takes them with more graciousness than mer!lwj and disappears beneath the waves. he returns after each time to offload more food from wwx's boat. when there's no more food left, mer!lxc bids wwx goodbye. it's a not-so-subtle message that he won't see lwj again that day.

every other day, wwx goes out to sea with a boatload of almost-expired food that the grocery sells at a discount. he hands the food to lxc, and then rows back to shore.

mer!lwj doesn't show his face again until after two weeks of wwx playing delivery boy.

the sun is setting, and wwx really should be going, until he hears a quiet, "Wei Ying."

and there he is. as beautiful as wwx remembers. his eyes are brighter now that he has been eating more.

wwx swallows. wills his heart to calm down. "Shouldn't you be with the little ones?"

"They are fed and asleep. Uncle is watching," mer!lwj answers.

"Oh." wwx nods. the knot in his heart loosens at the news of his children sleeping with full bellies.

mer!wj doesn't say anything, but he doesn't swim away.

wwx rummages through the food left in his boat.

"I, uh," he holds up a package of salmon fillet. "I still have this. I'll—I'll cut it for you." he pulls out a knife and starts cutting the wrapper open.

mer!lwj says nothing. he watches in silence as wwx divides the fillet into small cubes.

"Here you go." wwx holds them out.

mer!lwj swims forward. then, gently, he eats the salmon pieces directly out of wwx's hand.

wwx doesn't dare breathe. it doesn't seem real. if he breathes, this might disappear.

but it doesn't. mer!lwj waits patiently as wwx grabs more of the salmon, and he continues eating.

when the last of the salmon is gone, mer!lwj give wwx's hand a few cleaning licks before backing off.

"Wait," wwx pleads.

mer!lwj pauses, head already bowed in preparation to dive.

"Tell me about our children." wwx's voice cracks. "Please."

"Our children are well," mer!lwj responds. "They are growing fast."

wwx nearly sobs at that, relief and anguish. his children are doing well, but he has already missed so much, it seems. "Can I see them?"

mer!lwj's brows furrow. "It is dangerous for them to leave the den."

"Then tell me everything." wwx grasps his hand. "Leave nothing out."

months later, and mer!lwj is still so weak for this human. He tells him everything: their names, their sizes, their development, their habits, the colors of their tails and eyes.

wwx listens to it all.

"A-Yuan is like you," mer!lwj says with twinkling eyes. "He is always smiling, and his eye color matches yours. He was small at birth, but he is big now."

"Wow," wwx chokes. "Runt of the litter, huh."

"He will be strong," mer!lwj states firmly. "I will feed him."

"And I will keep bringing you food," wwx promises. "As much as you need, for as long as you need."

"Not much longer," mer!lwj says softly. "Until they can hunt."

there it is again, the squeeze around wwx's heart. right. the children will have to learn how to feed themselves.

"Until then," wwx vows. "And beyond. Whenever they—or you—need me, I'll always be here."

mer!lwj is not looking at him. he is silent once more, staring at the lamp's reflection in the water.

"I will bring A-Yuan tomorrow," he finally says. "To see you."

then he swims away.

((pausing for the night! i can't go to bed at 5am again 😭))

wwx is fraught with nerves the next day. he changes into a wetsuit and rows out to sea. mer!lxc greets him as graciously as ever and accepts the offered food.

when mer!lwj shows up, wwx nearly falls off his boat in excitement, only to be told that a-yuan is currently resting.

mer!lwj promises that wwx will get to see his child today, but wwx has never been very patient. he doesn't complain, but he does pout at mer!lwj whenever he surfaces.

mer!lwj ignores wwx's tantrums. as the egg-carrier, he gets to decide who sees the babies and when.

when mer!lwj surfaces again, wwx groans, "Just spare me the suspense and don't come back without the baby."

mer!lwj gives him a sour look. "I have the baby."

this time, wwx actually does fall out of the boat.

mer!lwj looks on in alarm. his hands are full. he can't save wwx.

fortunately, wwx can swim and doesn't need saving. he surfaces with a sputter, blinking out seawater as he grapples in mer!lwj's direction. "Let me see him," he gasps.

reluctantly, mer!lwj swims closer. "Be gentle." he places something small and slimy in wwx's hands.

a-yuan is tiny. he is about the length than wwx's forearm, tail included. he looks like he shouldn't have been born yet, except his eyes are open and alert, and he's looking at wwx with as much distrust as can possibly fit in his small body.

wwx bursts into tears.

a-yuan startles at the noise and begins giving off high-pitched, distressed calls. mer!lwj rushes over with his own vocalizations and soothes a-yuan with comforting strokes down his tiny back and nuzzles on his face.

"He's so /small./" wwx sobs. "Oh, he's perfect."

mer!lwj curls his tail under wwx to help keep him afloat. "He is perfect," he agrees, glowing with contentment. he puts his face back against a-yuan's and makes low, clicking sounds mixed with hums.

wwx starts crying again because a-yuan's nose is so tiny compared to mer!lwj's.

"How do I feed him?" wwx sniffles through a mucus-stuffed nose. "I want to feed him."

"You cannot feed him," mer!lwj says.

"And why not?" wwx hugs a-yuan protectively. "I can feed him just as well as you can!"

"You cannot," mer!lwj insists, moving to take a-yuan. "Watch."

and that's how wwx learns just how desperate the lan family pod had been for food. merfolk, as it turns out, regurgitate food for their young. mer!lwj demonstrates as such, much to wwx's absolute horror.

needless to say, it's very effective at stopping wwx's tears.

"What the fuck," wwx deadpans as mer!lwj nuzzles a-yuan's chest to encourage him to swallow. "I thought—I don't know why, but I thought you guys had, like—milk, and such."

mer!lwj tilts his head in confusion.

"Y'know, the stuff that comes from here?" wwx pats his pectoral.

mer!lwj's gaze slides to his chest.

"It's for feeding young." wwx prompts. "It's like the store-bought milk, except—made by humans."

mer!lwj nods. "Okay. You may feed him."

wwx's mind hits a wall. "What?"

"You may feed him," mer!lwj repeats, reaching for his wetsuit's zipper.

wwx screeches and shoves mer!lwj away. "Wait, hold on! I didn't mean *I*, personally, have milk! Men typically don't produce milk!"

mer!lwj's hand going back to cradle a-yuan to his chest. "If the males of your species cannot carry young or feed them, how do they raise them?"

"Um." wwx suddenly feels self-conscious. "Well, we generally give them other food. We have bottles and formula for babies."

"But you cannot naturally feed them." mer!lwj sounds a little sad. "Your biology does not allow it."

"C'mon, I wouldn't go that far," wwx protests.

"I can still take care of babies!" wwx adds. "I can buy baby food. They're mashed up already so it looks, uh, premasticated." he puts his hands together. "Please let me feed them?"

mer!lwj bounces a fussing a-yuan in his arms. "If you promise to be gentle," he says.

wwx nearly cheers out loud, but chooses instead to cheer silently as to not startle a-yuan. "Oh, I promise, I promise!" without thinking, he throws his arms around mer!lwj's neck and kisses him on the cheek. "I'll be very gentle with them, Lan Zhan!"

mer!lwj blinks, stunned.

wwx rows home that night with mer!lwj's promise to bring another of their children to meet him next time. he pulverizes various meats and vegetables with baby food to create a very unappetizing mush that can be spooned into little mouths. a day later, he rows out again.

by now, wwx has been feeding the lan family pod long enough that they have grown accustomed to him. four curious faces watch him as he digs through his shopping bags and starts handing out food.

the lan family pod, he discovers, is only ten adults strong.

the arrival of mer!lwj's eight children had been well-received, but it had also nearly drove them to starvation. eight children require supervision, but supervising adults cannot hunt, and less adults hunting means less food for the children.

mer!lwj, wwx learns, had not eaten for weeks. anything that went into his mouth was saved for feeding his children. even now, he is reluctant to eat for himself. wwx hopes the addition of diy merbaby food can help reassure mer!lwj enough to eat.

after a thorough inspection of the mush (during which lwj leaned into the bag and ate a mouthful of it; wwx gagged), it is approved. wwx cradles another one of their babies as he carefully scoops mush into their mouth.

the baby is so ravenous that they nearly eat the spoon too.

it continues like this for weeks. the babies slowly start to fatten up as they grow bigger. they recognize wwx now, fighting their way out of their family members' arms to happily wriggle-swim to wwx's boat. wwx's phone's camera album is constantly out of storage.

there are so many changes. the family pod warm up to wwx. the babies grow. the adults now have the strength for more successful hunts.

the only thing that doesn't seem to change is wwx's relationship with mer!lwj.

wwx doesn't know what they are, or what he is to mer!lwj.

he interacts with mer!lwj often, but never without a baby in between them. they don't talk about anything other than the children. since most of the adults have gone back to hunting, mer!lwj no longer eats the food wwx brings.

it keeps wwx awake at night, sometimes.

he shouldn't. mer!lwj already left him once; it is already a big blessing that he allows wwx to be involved in his children's lives at all. but wwx cannot help himself.

the next time mer!lwj hands him a-yuan, wwx deliberately brushes his fingers against mer!lwj's.

mer!lwj flinches and draws his hand back. he stares at wwx with wide eyes, but seems reluctant to leave a-yuan's side. later, when he takes a-yuan back, he disappears without a word.

wwx tries very hard not to feel hurt over it. he fails.

the children are slowly transitioning into solid foods. soon, there will be no need for wwx to bring food for them anymore.

maybe once that happens, mer!lwj will simply disappear into the watery depths once again, and wwx will only get to see him in the faces of their children.

the day comes when mer!lwj greets him with, "Jingyi caught his first squid today."

pride and sadness collide in wwx's heart. all his children can hunt now. jingyi was the last—not because he is weak or slow, but because he is too excitable and he startles prey.

it is very fitting that his first catch is an animal known for its speed.

"I knew he could do it." wwx puffs up his chest. "See, what did I tell you? Nothing to worry about."

"You were the one worried," mer!lwj reminds him.

"Nuh uh." wwx shakes his head. "I knew all along."

the tiniest of smile flickers across mer!lwj's lips before his expression settles. "Will you still come see them?"

wwx stares at him. "Of course! What kind of a question is that?"

mer!lwj doesn't respond to that. he just watches their children jump and play nearby.

the longer they watch, the heavier the silence between them grows. it feels like the tension before a goodbye.

wwx swallows, and looks at mer!lwj. "Will you, um, will you also be here? When I visit?"

mer!lwj lowers his head, eyes hidden behind hair. "I do not need to be."

right. because while the children were still—well—children, they were now old enough that any adult supervision would suffice for a short time. they didn't need to stick to mer!lwj all the time anymore. of course mer!lwj would take the opportunity to rest.

"Ah," wwx chokes.

it's happening again. mer!lwj is going to slip away, and wwx is going to be left in his stupid boat or on the stupid shore, wishing his chest didn't feel like there's a nail being driven into it.

"Hey," wwx hates how his voice shakes, "Lan Zhan."

mer!lwj looks up at him.

wwx doesn't think; because if he thinks, he'll chicken out.

he leans over, grabs mer!lwj a bit inelegantly by his face with both hands, and kisses him with desperate fervor.

mer!lwj goes still in his hands, then his arms are around wwx's neck and he's kissing back too.

it is heaven. mer!lwj's body is a bit colder than wwx's, but his skin is soft. wwx wants to devour him, hold him close, bind them together.

when they finally part and look at each other, wwx's smile fades.

the anguish on mer!lwj's face is vivid. anger, grief, and so much hurt.

"Goodbye?" mer!lwj whispers, agonized. tears fall from his unblinking eyes, trail down his face, and disappear into the sea. "Again?"

((sorry sorry sorry it's 1am bedtime for me sorryyyy))

for a moment, wwx is uncomprehending. he stares at mer!lwj, utterly lost.

"Goodbye?" he echoes. "What are you talking about?"

mer!lwj doesn't respond at first; his grief chokes out his voice. "Last time," his words are almost lost to the waves, "you did the same."

"Last time?" wwx is aware he sounds like a broken record, but he can't /think/—not when every nerve of his body is panicking at the sight of mer!lwj's tears.

in an instant, mer!lwj's distress visibly shifts to anger. "Last time!" he snarls, pulling away. "You left me!"

wwx's panic morphs into an entire meltdown when he feels mer!lwj leave his grasp. "No no no—" he grasps empty air. "I don't—you said you wanted to go back to the ocean—"

"To lay my eggs in a proper nursery!" mer!lwj jerks his head towards their children. "It must be the ocean!"

"You never said anything about that!" wwx snaps without meaning to. his thought process is fried. "I thought—I thought you didn't want me in their lives! You didn't say anything about coming back!"

"You think I would /abandon/ my mate?!" mer!lwj shrieks.

"Was that what we were?" wwx can't hide his bitterness. "Because from my end, it looks like you fucked me for the novelty of it and then when you grew tired—"

mer!lwj twists his body. wwx catches a glimpse of his silvery-blue tail before it strikes, sending a wave in wwx's way.

the cold seawater drenches wwx from head to toe and leaves him gasping and shivering. by the time he wipes his face clear of water, mer!lwj is already gone.

wwx fumes silently in his boat. he's dripping wet. his towel has been soaked too, so he can't dry himself off.

a very soft chirp at the side of his boat makes him look down. four worried pairs of eyes in varying shades of silver, gold, and amber look back up at him.

all the anger in wwx's body disappears, leaving guilt. he and mer!lwj shouldn't have fought in front of their children.

"It's alright." wwx wrings his hair out over the side of the boat. "A-die is alright. A-die and baba are just having a disagreement."

a-yuan repeats his concerned chirp, and then makes a slightly-fussy noise. the others join in.

wwx obliges by lifting all four onto the boat.

"A-die is sorry," he sighs as he arranges all four merchildren in his lap. a-yuan happily situates himself with his tail dangling over wwx's thigh. "A-die shouldn't have raised his voice."

a-yuan gives a content sigh. jingyi starts trying to wriggle under wwx's shirt.

the remaining four children, wwx assumes, dove after mer!lwj. he wonders if they have caught up to him. he wonders if mer!lwj is also holding them in his arms and soothing them.

wwx looks at his children. they are settling, eyes blinking with drowsiness after a full day's play.

two of them soon fall asleep. jingyi might also be asleep, but it's difficult to tell with him under wwx's shirt. only a-yuan makes a valiant attempt to stay awake.

wwx kisses his little head. "You may nap, baobei."

a-yuan complies, burying his face in the crook of wwx's elbow.

with four babies asleep in his lap, wwx can do nothing except sit, watching them and thinking.

how elated mer!lwj must have been when he laid eight viable eggs—and how terrified. three babies would already put considerable strain on family resources. eight was unthinkable.

still, mer!lwj made it work for weeks. with no mate by his side and with almost triple the number of expected offspring, he saw to it that none of them starved.

wwx's shoulders sag, and he thumbs his children's chubby, healthy faces. if only he'd helped sooner.

eventually, mer!lxc comes to collect the children.

wwx resists. "And how do I know you're not going to try and keep them from me?"

mer!lxc gives him a witheringly amicable smile. "Wangji would never forgive me if I kept you from seeing your young."

"Funny," wwx mutters as he stops jingyi from trying to bite off one of his buttons, "I would've thought he wouldn't want me to see them anymore."

"You think a lot," mer!lxc says. "Many of your thoughts are incorrect."

wwx sticks his tongue out at him. "Prick," he mutters.

the children are happy to see their uncle, and they wiggle excitedly as he lowers them into the water. mer!lxc greets each one with gentle nose-to-nose touches and soft murmurs.

"Be good," wwx tells them. "Listen to your elders, and don't eat everything in sight."

the children crowd around wwx, nuzzling his hand before disappearing into the deep. mer!lxc nods in a goodbye before he, too, dives.

wwx is left alone with his thoughts. he considers waiting to see if mer!lwj will resurface, but it is getting late, and he has to leave too.

the next few visits are a little awkward. mer!lwj's anger is gone, replaced by what seems to be wistful sadness. he keeps his distance from wwx, but doesn't hesitate to bring their children to him if they call for him.

wwx doesn't know what to make of it.

one day, wwx brings flowers. he sets them loose on the water and watches fondly as the lan family pod inspect them curiously.

the children get individual flowers. jingyi gets overexcited and eats his and is distressed because he doesn't know where it went.

after replacing jingyi's flower, wwx holds out a pink peony. "Lan Zhan," he calls.

mer!lwj, who was curiously inspecting a tulip, looks up. he swims over. "Wei Ying," he greets cautiously.

wwx drops the peony in the water. "That one is, uh, it's for you."

mer!lwj sniffs the peony and gently mouths on a petal. "Pretty," he concludes, "but not food."

"Not the kind of food you would prefer," wwx agrees, taking the peony from mer!lwj and tucking it into mer!lwj's hair. "But it is pretty. A pretty flower for a pretty merman."

mer!lwj huffs and turns away, but not before wwx spots his cheeks coloring.

"Are you still mad at me?" wwx asks.

"No," mer!lwj mutters, his back still turned.

wwx leans forward and pats the water gently. "Then can we talk?"

the side-eye mer!lwj gives him is full of caution.

wwx pulls the most pouty expression he can manage and continues patting the water. "Pleeeaaase."

mer!lwj huffs again, but he swims over. "You wish to talk."

"Yeah." wwx rests his arms on the boat edge and lays his head down on them. "I want to apologize for the other day."

mer!lwj doesn't say anything. he also doesn't look anywhere but directly down at the water.

"I'm sorry for losing my temper." wwx reaches into the water to tug gently on mer!lwj's hair. "And I'm sorry for cheapening your feelings."

mer!lwj sighs, but doesn't pull away.

"I am not faultless." mer!lwj gently strokes the peony's petals. "I did not say I was going to return. I have caused you undue stress."

"Aw." wwx laughs nervously. he hates being apologized to. "Well. Now that's behind us."

"Mn." mer!lwj plucks out a petal and fiddles with it.

the relief wwx feels at apologizing is quickly replaced by anxiety. "So, um," he clears his throat. "What now?"

mer!lwj folds the petal in between his fingers. "I have spoken with the elders," he says. "You do not have to recognize me as your mate if you do not wish it."

hearing the words sends shards into wwx's chest. he covers it with a laugh. "Having second thoughts?"

mer!lwj glances at him, just long enough to convey hurt. "I bore your children."

"Bearing my children and loving me are two different things," wwx clarifies gently.

"They are very similar to me," mer!lwj insists. he's very upset. "I chose you because I wish to stay with you, and I wish to fill the world with more of us. Are you not of the same mind?"

wwx tries not to go all blubbery at the declaration. "Oh," he squeaks. "That's—oh."

"If you do not agree, then say so." mer!lwj's voice sounds tight, like he's fighting tears. "Refuse to acknowledge me as your mate, and you'll never have to see me again."

that is the last thing wwx wants, but he doesn't know how to put it to words. he's ecstatic and terrified.

it's finally sinking in for him. mer!lwj never wanted to leave him. he wants to stay together—and not just for the children's sake. he wants to be wwx's… mate? fiance? husband?

it's too much to say, and too much to ask, so wwx does the only reasonable thing: he jumps overboard.

mer!lwj startles and automatically wraps his arms around wwx's waist to keep him afloat.

wwx seizes his chance. he grabs mer!lwj by the face and kisses him breathless.

when they part, mer!lwj looks very confused. "That does not feel like goodbye," he says, half-accusatory.

"Because it isn't," wwx says, peppering mer!lwj's face with small, quick kisses. "From now on, kisses will mean 'hello' and 'I love you'."

"Oh." mer!lwj sounds a little dazed. "No more goodbye's?"

"No more goodbye's," wwx promises with another kiss to mer!lwj's lips.

it takes a while for mer!lwj to reciprocate, but when he does, it's with great enthusiasm. he barely lets wwx catch his breath in between kisses, and his hand is on the back of wwx's neck, holding him, guiding him.

wwx might suffocate, but at this point, wwx doesn't care.

"I wish to bring the children to shore," mer!lwj says in between kisses. "They already know my world. They should learn yours."

wwx only gets the 'o' in 'okay' out before mer!lwj is kissing him again, and frankly, he has no complaints. he doesn't remember ever being this happy.

they soon encounter a small issue in the form of their own children.

merfolk feed their young through regurgitation, which is delivered via mouth-to-mouth. to the eight merbabies watching their parents furiously make out, it looks a lot like food is being exchanged.

soon, mer!lwj and wwx are besieged by their own children. the merbabies swarm around them, chirping, demanding to be fed. they bump their heads against mer!lwj's jaw and nuzzle their little faces against his mouth, begging for food.

"Such needy children we have!" wwx laughs.

his laughter dies out when he realizes that the children are also demanding food from /his/ mouth too. jingyi in particular is very insistent. he nearly gives wwx a split lip from headbutting him.

mer!lwj quiets them with a warning hiss. he nips jingyi for being so pushy.

"It's a very good thing they listen to you," wwx tells mer!lwj. "If you think raising eight children in water is tough, just wait until they're on land." he gives a slightly maniacal laugh. "Oh man, I'm going to have to babyproof my house."

"I look forward to it," mer!lwj says.

"You'd better," wwx laughs. "Because I don't think backing out will be easy once we're there."

"I will not back out," mer!lwj promises. "I will stay with you."

"I know." wwx grins, leaning forward to kiss him again, much to the dismay of their hungry children.

((and here's a reasonable stopping point! just a little bit left, some land shenanigans, and this AU will be wrapped up!! thank you everyone who has read so far!))