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Olaudah Equiano®

19 Sep, 10 tweets, 2 min read

When Insults Had Class

These glorious insults are from an era " before" the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words.

A short thread.

A member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease."
"That depends, Sir, " said Disraeli, "on whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."

"He had delusions of adequacy."
- Walter Kerr

"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire"
- Winston Churchill

"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure."
- Clarence Darrow

"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary."
- William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)

"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it."
- Moses Hadas

"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it."
- Mark Twain

"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends."
- Oscar Wilde

"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend, if you have one."
- George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is one."
- Winston Churchill, in response

"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here."
- Stephen Bishop

"He is a self-made man and worships his creator."
- John Bright

"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial."
- Irvin S. Cobb

"He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others."
- Samuel Johnson

"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up."
- Paul Keating

"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily."
- Charles, Count Talleyrand

"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him."
- Forrest Tucker

"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork."
- Mae West

"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go."
- Oscar Wilde

"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts..for support rather than illumination."
- Andrew Lang (1844-1912)

"He has Van Gogh's ear for music."
- Billy Wilder

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But I'm afraid this wasn't it."
- Groucho Marx

Happy Sunday folks

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More from @RealOlaudah

Olaudah Equiano®

@RealOlaudah

19 Sep

This is a true life story. There was once a Yoruba traditional ruler who talked down on his subjects. His tongue was so acerbic that even his council of chiefs avoided him.

His hubris was his penchant to extend his bag of insults even to the parents and family members of whoever falls prey to his volcanic eruptions. But one day, his cup was full. A young man was charged to the king’s court over a minor matter.

The young man took his time to explain his points but the king was already in his usual element.
He cut the boy short in the middle of his narration and the boy simply told him that he had not finished stating his own side of the matter that brought him to the palace.

Read 42 tweets

Olaudah Equiano®

@RealOlaudah

17 Sep

Drinking whiskey kills CORONA Virus. German virologist's 'genius' idea
Finally, most awaited theory comes ...
Seven Alcoholic Drinks That Might Actually Keep You Healthy & boost body immunity.
According to the preconceived notion, drinking alcohol is harmful to the body:

This is partly true.
Drinking alcohol is harmful to the body, but only in large & excessive proportions.
In fact, despite popular belief, moderate drinking (without getting Drunk) of good & fine alcohol, a few times in a week along with nutritious food, is beneficial & good...

for the general health & longevity.
Here are the 7 alcoholic drinks that are secretly keeping you healthy & going strong.

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Olaudah Equiano®

@RealOlaudah

15 Sep

I honestly see nothing wrong with GEJ joining APC to actualize his ambitions. PDP hasn't shown seriousness as a party ready to take power, with constant bickerings and dissensions within her fold. Moreover, they've surreptitiously joined the office of the president to the north.

With the alternatives flying around I think he's the best of the realistic candidates for the job. He's had practical experience on same, and with his demeanor as a unifier, the country will benefit from him, especially after 8 fractious years of Buhari in power.

In practical terms, the difference between APC and PDP lies squarely on the character, personality, ideology and policies of Muhammadu Buhari and nothing else. There's been an admixture of politicians in both folds, so this is the only realistic assumption in that regard.

Read 5 tweets

Olaudah Equiano®

@RealOlaudah

14 Sep

GUMI IS WRONG. WAR CAN END BANDITRY
A thread.

The widely disseminated statement by Kaduna-based Muslim cleric Dr. Ahmed Gumi titled “War has never been a solution anywhere anytime” is too sweeping to be true.

He was referring to the Nigerian Army’s recently stepped-up campaign against bandits in Zamfara and other north-western states, which he says will not end banditry. He said only negotiation and a peaceful settlement with the bandit leaders will do.

For starters, it is not true that war has never resolved any issues. It may not be ideal but throughout human history, nothing resolves contentious issues quite as conclusively as victory on the battlefield.

Read 34 tweets

Olaudah Equiano®

@RealOlaudah

13 Sep

I have closely followed the discussions regarding IPOB’s Sit-At-Home protest. Naturally, there are arguments in favor and against this order. The argument against this mode of protest adopted by IPOB is anchored primarily on the economic implication for the SE.

According to the proponents of this position, the Monday Sit-At-Homes, if sustained will be costing the SE billions of Naira bearing in mind that the SE harbors some of the largest markets both in Nigeria and West-Africa and even beyond.

Some describe IPOB’s approach as a case of cutting off one’s nose to spite the face. In their view, IPOB is doing more injury to the SE in its protest against the Federal Government.

Read 70 tweets

Olaudah Equiano®

@RealOlaudah

12 Sep

Is NNPC the Nigerian National Petroleum Corporation or the Northern Nigeria Petroleum Company?
Check out the all-Muslim all-northern top 20 executives in NNPC.

1. Mele Kyari (GMD)
2. Umar Ajiya (Chief Finance Officer/Finance and Accounts)
3. Yusuf Usman (Chief Operating Officer)
4. Farouk Garba Sa’id (Chief Operating Officer, Corporate Services)
5. Mustapha Yakubu (Chief Operating Officer, Refining and Petrochemicals).

6. Hadiza Coomassie (Corporate Secretary/Legal Adviser to the Corporation)
7. Omar Ibrahim (Group General Manager, International Energy Relations)
8. Kallamu Abdullahi (GGM Renewable Energy)
9. Ibrahim Birma (GGM Governance Risk and Compliance)
10. Bala Wunti (GGM NAPIMS).

Read 6 tweets

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