Thread by @crazelivetweets

hey everyone. I've been playing ffxiv for 6 months now and I've thus far kept my reactions & thoughts to a small friend chat, but now that I've hit shadowbringers I've started clogging chat with Yelling so it's time to finally have Opinions On The Internet about it

needless to say this WILL have shadowbringers spoilers. I'll be tagging #cltffxiv for muting purposes

(lmao I just noticed "craze live tweets" as an acronym is clit. fantastic.)

I love that somehow even varis knows the apparently very poorly kept open secret about aymeric's dad

it's just common knowledge now ig

#cltffxiv

"and all without robbing our neighbors of their liberty" ajfhdgdkagdla are u KIDDING me merlwyb. u literally did that not once but twice

but I guess beastmen don't count as people or neighbors. ahdkshfoa GOD. #cltffxiv

VARIS LITERALLY SAID THE SAME THING AHFKSFHOA HE'S RIGHT THO #CLTFFXIV

I cannot believe we're doubling down on arr's shitty politics. eorzean smug rulers shut up challenge #cltffxiv

(not you nanamo. you're wonderful and we're delighted you're here)

alisaie doing her best by asking "what would alphinaud do" and then trying to larp as her brother... God i adore her so much 🥺🥺 #cltffxiv

the completely unnecessary shot of the moths bumping into the ye old led lights that exists just so this game can further be No Reilis Allowed ahdhzkzhKa #cltffxiv

i might be completely off base with this but I THINK varis actually fuckin hates the ascians plan & is trying to send everyone a coded message to tell them to help bc he's in over his head with his Grandpa That Bullies Him #cltffxiv

but idk maybe he's totally on board their reunification bullshit & this is sincere. could genuinely be either or

#cltffxiv

aofhskfhslfjal oof the eugenics of it all. yikes #cltffxiv

oh okay he's just telling us abt his gramps so. shrugs. I guess it doesn't rly matter what he truly believes lol. #cltffxiv

love this funky bg music tho. is it new? it's great #cltffxiv

oh okay he's just wacko #cltffxiv

if aelfgar (my WoL) gets sucked out of his body into the other world before alisaie I'm gonna be Upset lmao. please do not leave her alone!!! #cltffxiv

THEIR REACHING HANDS.... 😭 😭 😭 #cltffxiv

ngl Im glad alisaie went before aelfgar

aelfgar is. p fucked up now tho. there's no one left for him to focus on so he can ignore his own feelings about it #cltffxiv

(except krile ig) #cltffxiv

anyway my current running theory is that the reason we're dealing with a lack of aether situation is bc we Always Be Winning and that means there's too much light. warriors of darkness 2.0 (Aelfgar has done everything right... everything that was asked of him...) #cltffxiv

maxima hot. thank u for ur time. #cltffxiv

Cid Garlond's home for wayward garleans #cltffxiv

every garlean who defects is just like. "where's Cid. he's a garlean. I wanna see him & his Technology & crouch behind his hilariously-tiny-in-comparison body so the eorzeans won't be mean to me" #cltffxiv

he's a legend!! a folk hero!! they're just like 🥺🥺 cid the emperor is a meanie I wanna hang out with u now

except Nero who is more like 😎😎 hey binch. I'm gonna sleep on ur couch and annoy u until u take me back #cltffxiv

im v suspicious of this guy but I am LOVING his aesthetic. the arm thingies? the sandals? he's got a... gangreous and/or cool prosthetic arm and he's making it fuckin work

love the "throw wide the gates" line. not ominous at ALL #cltffxiv

estinien shdjdkddhsozhzk I love ur refusal to involve urself in the plot unless it's to save everyone and then warp away. fantastic. the utter stubbornness of the man. #cltffxiv

"REPORTS OF YOUR DEFEAT WERE GREATLY EXAGGERATED" AJFHDKAHAL FFXIV ARE U KIDDING ME #CLTFFXIV

tataru looks ready to cry and thus I am ready to cry #cltffxiv

TATARUUUUUUUU 😭😭😭😭😭😭 #CLTFFXIV

"men are not pawns to be played with, ascian" what a bold ass statement for you to make, varis #cltffxiv

oh.. this last shot of the twins in the credits is my new wallpaper #cltffxiv

oh hell yesssssss new tataru outfit #cltffxiv

God I love that zenos considers u his One Friend. it's so fucking good. truly the enemies AND lovers the wol deserves #cltffxiv

(not aelfgar specifically but u know. in general. for people. by people I mean @mondegross.)

that is all for tonight. I've officially finished stormblood & it's now shadowbringers time babey. see u all... Tuesday probably (Monday is for my other current hyperfixation, inuyasha re-watch) #cltffxiv

time to go worldhopping

#cltffxiv

kind of disappointed we didn't actually free the catboy, which I have been waiting for since arr--MINFILIA!!! #cltffxiv

oh??? is arbert here and alive and more importantly, kissable, #cltffxiv

aelfgar would've taken the alcohol for the record #cltffxiv

is arbert supposed to be ME??? #cltffxiv

Lakeland is pretty as hell #cltffxiv

if we weren't in another world I would have Theories about who the crystal exarch is wufhdkahala #cltffxiv

isn't the crystal exarch in the top three of @Mondegreened's wol liker official rating. take off the suspicious hood and lemme see if this is a kissing face. #cltffxiv

ffxiv is a dating sim & dress up game first and foremost #cltffxiv

I've known this guy for 5 seconds and I already see why he ranks so high ahfjdlahskahsla #cltffxiv

wait I just realized something about scotty's ranking

BUT IT DOESN'T... MAKE SENSE....

I am lady with math dot gif over here

#cltffxiv

I do appreciate a world with the premise "we turned brightness up to 11"

me, can't see shit ever, weeping: thank u...

#cltffxiv

okay so is us hearing arbert diagetic or--oh it's the narrator thing. arbert narrates this expac.

honestly good for him. he's great I love his voice #cltffxiv

"I suggest you claim to share a homeland with the crystal exarch"

okay. fuck it.

[puts hands on hips] is this binch g'raha tia

#cltffxiv

what are u doing here!!!! if so!!! u rapunzel fuck!!! #cltffxiv

evidence:
1) made us go to crystal tower
2) I felt CERTAIN we were gonna see him again until scotty was like "no he's dead"
2.5) but scotty lies to me
3) kinda in the name
4) something something something ~allegan technology~
#cltffxiv

also the other two ppl on scotty's wolfucker list are hearchefaunt & zenos so just math babey #cltffxiv

this lady's name is katliss and I'm just like. katniss..... #cltffxiv

"they say his grand magics summoned the crystal tower into existence--pulled the entire thing out of thin air"

i cannot fucking believe it

this binch is g'raha fucking tia

#cltffxiv

"we're not going to the crystal tower again, craze. he's still stuck in there, craze. he's mjrn's dead bf, craze." the CONSPIRACY. the AUDACITY. #cltffxiv

every time I start a new expack I'm reminded that the biggest roadblock to making ocs is actually the reminder that I will have to re-attune to everything #cltffxiv

"villains known as the warriors of light" OOF. God. I'm tearing up again. #cltffxiv

THE ORACLE OF LIGHT.... MINFILIA 😭 😭 😭 😭 😭 #cltffxiv

this little librarian nerd is. a cutie. a gentle kiss upon him. #cltffxiv

I need u all to know I stepped on a grate in game and I did the thing I do in real life when I step on a big see-through surface without realizing, which is go "AhHhHHhh" & then stumble backwards as my stomach flipped

I can never do vr games ahfhdhslahal #cltffxiv

OH THEY'RE. THEY'RE JUST ELVES HERE. CJSBDHDKSHSLA FUCKING IMPECCABLE [shadowbringers voice] what the fuck is an elezen. that's an elf. #cltffxiv

a few of your lot... pass through... in recent... years...

slow pan to the "crystal exarch"

fuckin. excuse? me??

#cltffxiv

wait.

I straight up asked about g'raha tia but the crystal exarch doesn't know who that is

I... WAS SO SURE............ WHAT?????? #CLTFFXIV

wait does. does he have amnesia

did he seriously forget everything except how in love he is with the wol.

GOD PLEASE BE THE ANSWER I'LL LOSE MY WHOLE MIND IF IT IS. #cltffxiv

i don't want g'raha to be dead :( #cltffxiv

"you need not overly concern yourself with the passage of time" like this game has overly concerned itself with the passage of time up until this point #cltffxiv

are alphinaud and alisaie different ages now. jfc

#cltffxiv

I Wish to see. grown up twins. final fantasy. #cltffxiv

thancred spends a lot of his time naked in flashbacks huh #cltffxiv

g'raha tia or not he's still obsessed with u and that's still pretty funny #cltffxiv

AELFGAR

SEEING THE TOMESTONES

AND SIGHING DEEPLY

IS

KILLING ME

THATS THE FUCKIN MOOD AELF!!

#cltffxiv

PIXIE!!!! PIXIE PIXIE PIXIE HELL YESS P I X I E #CLTFFXIV

"you've the heart of a pixie, you do"

me, tearing up: thank u!! #cltffxiv

ARDBERT!!! HELL YEAH BABEY #cltffxiv

I know there's like a 45% chance he's a ghost and a near certain chance he does not survive this expack but I want aelfgar to finally kiss his face. by aelfgar I mean me #cltffxiv

ardbert getting rly down on himself and his mistakes & I'm just like.

[intensely, tearing up & through gritted teeth] you've NEVER done ANYTHING wrong in ur ENTIRE life

#cltffxiv

NOO... MINFILIA DIED FOR REAL?? FOR REAL FOR REAL????? ARDBERT NOOOOO :((((((

the WHOLE reason I thought we'd be going to the first in the FIRST place like, metatextually, was bc of minfilia rescue mission.... im Big Sad
#cltffxiv

no one has been able to see him for 100 years and he can't touch anything...

honestly the ghost fucking potential here just makes him even MORE my ideal man. I cannot believe he is literally shaped like my type. the meta selfcest of it all

#cltffxiv

I've decided right here and now even if ardbert ends up dispersing and returning to the aether or w/e bullshit I'm writing a fix-it where he learns to slowly become at least semi corporeal for aelf & they have tender body exploration sex about it. it's what I deserve #cltffxiv

the fact that you're literally what pulled him together and back to his senses.... wow. WOW... #cltffxiv

"how did u find ur new quarters? I trust you were able to rest?"

me, dryly: a bit haunted

then the dialogue actually gave me a similar option dhfkshdlsahla #cltffxiv

I cannot believe ghosts is where the crystal exarch is drawing the line. rly? ghosts is too unbelievable for u? ghosts??? #cltffxiv

the way the crystal exarch put that dry twist on the word "busy" for what alphinaud has been up to in Rich People City

i know it's probably a joke about him being pampered but the Other Obvious Joke is Killing me. #cltffxiv

"alphinaud went to go do politics with rich people. alisaie went to go punch monsters." The Twins Everyone

#cltffxiv

alright that's all for tonight. next time on shadowbringers: I get to decide if I go see alphinaud (who /i/ want to check up on) or alisaie (who I feel that Aelfgar might feel responsible for re: her mental state and this check up on first)

#cltffxiv

well actually first I watch the intro I've avoided for TWO ENTIRE EXPACKS #cltffxiv

alright we Continue the plot

we're going with alisaie bc ultimately I try to stick with ic choices as much as possible

"she uh... /impressed upon me/ how regrettable the timing of her summoning was. repeatedly."

she beat his ass lmaoooo #cltffxiv

oh BTW I'm a bit sick I'm having mild process problems (when am I Not tho) so I PROBABLY shouldn't be doing like, main msq stuff that I want to actually remember later but uhhhhhh. that's what the cutscene re-watch function is for #cltffxiv

clan.... nutsy..... #cltffxiv

I'm begging them to stop saying two-nut bills #cltffxiv

gigantenders just sort of wobbling around like little idiots.... i love them #cltffxiv

me: who is that voice???

the internet: ilberd. also, biggs

me:
me:
me: Biggs and Ilberd are voiced by the same guy???

#cltffxiv

alisaie refusing to look at me like if she does not Look the emotions will Not exist.... i Love her!!! #cltffxiv

"he may use ten words when one would suffice and they may often obscure as much as they reveal" 4 real tho. urianger callout post #cltffxiv

wait how does alisaie have her regular clothes if they all showed up naked

also, oh my God. the twins showed up naked. urianger & y'stola showed up naked... /together/ #cltffxiv

the fact that alisaie does the exact same "if aelfgar were here he would do/say x" thing she does in stormblood about alphinaud.... and is called out for being "smitten"... it's called consistent characterization

#cltffxiv

oh cool one of the terminally ill slowly zombifying patients is a tiny xaela boy. cool cool cool. that's not gonna fuck aelfgar up at ALL #cltffxiv

oh fun am I gonna have to watch this child turn into a zombie. cool. cool cool cool. love that for me and also Aelfgar. #cltffxiv

I've been informed this does not happen which is great bc this whole scene with the nectarine would make me literally burst into tears & I would make reili play the game for me until it was over sbfjsdhladbka #cltffxiv

Let Alisaie Say Fuck (Onscreen) #cltffxiv

the fact that there's stories about The Evil Villains The Warriors Of Light and also about the goodly warrior of darkness who is like a gentle god of death... ardbert HAS the range #cltffxiv

oof. alisaie's Bad Time continues I see. I can't believe they fridged alisaie's gf #cltffxiv

"when you see alphinaud, pass along my warmest regards"

some facts:
- the exarch is some ageless being who built an entire city that is decades old
- literally called the exarch, ruler of this place
- alphinaud showed up to the crystarium naked

conclusion: they banged #cltffxiv

I need to stop thinking alphinaud bangs everyone we meet just bc I think he's shaped like the perfect boy and I want this for him but also: he's shaped like the perfect boy and I want this for him #cltffxiv

aww. cute poncho boy!! #cltffxiv

finally fantasy 14 is about alphinaud's progressive arc towards learning sweaters exist and are viable items of clothing to wear #cltffxiv

still hilariously not really weather appropriate though and for that I love him #cltffxiv

u know aelfgar loves alphinaud bc he actually smiles when alphinaud of all people excitedly tells him they're going to do a bunch of politics #cltffxiv

the soylent green vibes of it all with the eulmore "meol" thing... yikes

honestly this whole situation is. lmao. Gotta Love Late Stage Capitalism #cltffxiv

it was how they were looking for a cook but didn't have her cook anything just looked right at her and then said she was perfect lmao. Y I k E s #cltffxiv

this whole thing is just.... literally just a scifi dystopia plot and it genuinely freaks me out a bit like damn. those people sure are dead!! wow!!! the get out horror vibes of it all #cltffxiv

ALPHINAUD'S ESTINIEN VOICE IS KILLING ME. PLEASE DO IT AGAIN I'M BEGGING U #CLTFFXIV

btw I love the poncho for alphinaud conceptually but the fringe on the hood is NOT working for me #cltffxiv

"is it not-- t-that is to say. Ahem. It seems rather /exposed/ for one's ablution, does it not...?"

I LOVE. TRANS ALPHINAUD. CANON. #cltffxiv

holy shit u can say "what would estinien say" and he begs u to never mention this to him

that's just real canon dialogue

OKAY. THANK U FINAL FANTASY FOR THIS GIFT #cltffxiv

Alphinaud's melodramatic ass... God. the goodest boy. I wanna strangle him sometimes. #cltffxiv

Alphinaud please stop doing whatever this dramatic voice is its killing me

tho "we are family in all but name my lord." 🥺🥺 alphinaud... love him #cltffxiv

I want to love dulia-chai so much but also she did have a guy thrown off the tower to his likely death.

but I too look at alphinaud and say "wow. a Perfect Boy"

so like. I'm torn ahfjekshelehs

#cltffxiv

MAYBE THEY'LL CLARIFY THAT OR SOMETHING #CLTFFXIV

make no mistake, I'm prepared to become a dulia-chai apologist. I'm just a little confused lmaooo #cltffxiv

"do be careful along those outer walkways! I should be most upset if you were to slip and fall" ahdhslshsla Jesus

i genuinely cannot tell if she's fucking with me or if she was told the other guy "fell" & that's what she thinks happened to him #cltffxiv

making that non-voiced dialogue was a perfect way to keep that ambiguous fbdbsldbsldbla #cltffxiv

eulmore has a club called the beehive run by a man who calls himself the queen bee and when I walked in the door there was a guy on a stripper pole

eulmore. has a gay club.

god BLESS

#cltffxiv

there's a guy staring straight at the male stripper who says "good booze and an even better view... what more could a man ask for, eh?"

what more indeed

#cltffxiv

AELFGAR BEING REQUIRED BY THE GAME TO (ALMOST) POLE DANCE.... Y E S!!!! /YES/!!!!!! Y! E! S!!!! #CLTFFXIV

god the AMOUNT of money aelfgar would make as a stripper at a gay club.

... putting a FUCKING pin in THIS thought.

#cltffxiv

"oh goodness gracious me! that last outfit was precious, but this makes you look positively dashing!"

dulia-chai 🤝 me

A Woman Of Taste

#cltffxiv

"it's about time we set him to work for the reason we called him here!"

"must we? I do love a good painting but I thought since we were enjoying ourselves so throughly..."

alphinaud finding his true calling as a kept boy I see #cltffxiv

THIS IS TEXT! THIS IS THE TEXT OF THE GAME!! I AM A SIMPLE REPORTER #CLTFFXIV

"of the many hopefuls who enter the city, very few are ever seen to leave. even as corpses..."

whats in meol what's in meol what's in meol what's in meol--

#cltffxiv

"OH YOU MIGHT SEEN ONE OR TWO FORTUNATE FOOLS HURLED FROM THE BALCONIES, BUT THE REST...? GONE." i'm vibrating u guys

"sin eaters, somehow" is literally the better option. this is so delightfully creepy

#CLTFFXIV

AHDHDKSHDLAHSLA OH MY GOD. they're a CULT. incredible. #cltffxiv

I like how the jail cells here just... open btw. I can just walk into any cell. honestly so could that girl. do people put THEMSELVES in jail here? time out corners? #cltffxiv

oh sorry they're "storage rooms" #cltffxiv

honestly the best part of this plot is gonna be when alphinaud freaks out by how genuinely horrifying everything is and aelfgar is confused bc it's just like every major city he's been too so far in his opinion #cltffxiv

(Aelfgar absolutely thinks gridania is a bunch of weird cultists, he's still mad about being used & lied to by merlwyb, not one but TWO of the uldah dungeon quests is about suppressing a slave uprising so capitalists can gain more capital, and Ishgard is Ishgard.) #cltffxiv

meanwhile eorzeans frequently look him in the face & talk about how weird & barbaric xaela tribes are

so basically what I'm saying is every time aelfgar goes to a city he's like "... hm." & then he simply keeps his opinions to himself lmao #cltffxiv

so vauthry is deffo... not a like. well I was gonna say human but none of the races in this game that I know lmao #cltffxiv

I realize this might come across as a comment on his weight but I'm talking more about his face and height #cltffxiv

anyway aelfgar getting so furious he was about to punch this dudes lights out and alphinaud stopping him with a gentle touch to his arm... wow

the twins have Aelfgar's number completely. family in all but blood.... 🥺 #cltffxiv

love his little tantrum right in front of all the people lmao. the lack of needing to keep up a veneer means that they are either all DEEP in the cult or are living in abject fear. #cltffxiv

God I love how the villains are lightwardens and the sin eaters are clearly angelic in nature. LIGHT IS EVIL HERE. hell yeah. #cltffxiv

in adjacent news: so the lost city of amdapor (hard) huh

those are sin eaters huh

#cltffxiv

(shout out to the like 5 minutes of googling I had to do bc I never remember which amdapor is which) #cltffxiv

OH THANK GOD POWER POINT PART TWO

#CLTFFXIV

back to crystal exarch theoryposting

I'm rly curious about the... literal crystal exarch stone/crystal growth(??) happening on his neck & arm that we can see. my current guess is that it's sin eater adjacent but a DIFFERENT sort of infection? #cltffxiv

dbdjaldhalahkl crystal exarch my bro u could have Warned me u were gonna just have me absorb the lightwarden and see what happens

unless. did he tell me that and I forgot abdjskdhsslsjal #cltffxiv

oh now he's kneeling uhh this is awkward. why is he so awkward #cltffxiv

ARDBERT!! ARDBERT ARDBEERRT #cltffxiv

alisaie: why are u so weird, bud?

mood tho. he's so cryptic & shady I'm obsessed

#cltffxiv

he's also so obsessed with me. it's part of why I thought him being g'raha tia made sense abdhskshak. how does he even know me

arguably he jusr reached out for the source's WoL specifically bc that's the one that is necessary & it's not personal but it FEELS personal #cltffxiv

I have to assume minfilia is connected to this somehow #cltffxiv

"your penchant for mystery is nothing new" ahdhskshakahalahal

#cltffxiv

inadvertently or not I love the fact that this plan casts ardbert as the hero of the tale as I act essentially in his name.... im... crying... 😭 😭 I LOVE HIM.... #cltffxiv

I hope we get ardbert scene again. #cltffxiv

ngl I saw the "warriors of darkness (and maybe minfilia) are sin eaters now" plot coming but oof. it STILL hurts.

also hurts how they're seen as both the villains & the heroes... it's rough babey

#cltffxiv

ahhh these are the. what's it, the role quests #cltffxiv

wait these might actually BE the warriors of darkness. they came back 3 years ago they said...

wait no didn't they come back 100 years ago with minfilia. hhhhh I guess I'll find out (??) #cltffxiv

[praying] ardbert scene ardbert scene ardbert scene ardbert scene ardbert scene YESSSSS #cltffxiv

"what will it cost you this time" G O D. let me KISS him. the narrative tension... #cltffxiv

akdhdlahalshala tataru & krile dragging estinien out of his little edgy lone wolf shit & forcibly making him a scion... i love it. tataru & krile my beloveds #cltffxiv

freelancers.... gaius shut the fuck up sbfjdkdhsosshks #cltffxiv

oh wild I don't think I've ever seen a literal infant in game before.

babey cute

(I'm in a side room in the inn/pendant, this isn't msq) #cltffxiv

generations of minfilias....

this one I think I get. minfilia joined with hydaelyn so now she's a goddess basically and she's either being reborn or doing the creepy vessel thing to each subsequently chosen minfilia

and of course. the familiar face. will be thancred #cltffxiv

"whatever you think moren's going to tell you about minfilia, it won't be what you're expecting. just... trust me." hm. we'll see.

#cltffxiv

lmao I was right. pats alisaie. it's alright I just consume a lot of media about oracles & shit #cltffxiv

so thancred is DEFINITELY fucked up about this huh. Jesus. give thancred a break challenge #cltffxiv

minfilia is this world's link... oof

and poor thancred who knows its not His Minfilia but still desperate to protect her anyway... bye

#cltffxiv

back at it again at msq

love the pointed shot of the crystal exarch's crystal hand. yes I'm aware it's plot significant I have like THREE competing theories (automaton that g'raha made? infected [differently] by the sin eaters? a lightwarden himself??) I'M ON IT OKAY #cltffxiv

"when I beheld the night sky for the first time in 100 years"

alright so he's at least 100 years old, probably older. ngl I'm like a solid 75% behind the automaton theory. or clone ig given the technology of the crystal tower but. yknow. #cltffxiv

using the garlean themes for the eulmorans.... ahfjskshaoah if it works it works #cltffxiv

"vermin such as you are not worthy of the oracle"

oh yeah, BINCH??? she was ours First, Actually, #cltffxiv

idk why I was so personally insulted by that but by God. the audacity. minfilia is Ours!!! lookin thancred in the eye and telling him he's not worthy of her. ooh. OOOH. I'm gonna punch this old man. again. #cltffxiv

I have no idea what class the crystal exarch is supposed to be shfjajdjala

is this what black mages get up to or is he a special boy™

name: crystal exarch, class: crystal exarch, profession: crystal exarch

#cltffxiv

or wait is it just ~Allagan Technology~

THE FAERIE KINGDOM, YOU SAY, #cltffxiv

oh excellent it's my favorite villain in the game. shitty grandpa time!! #cltffxiv

see this I don't even question bc any time a fuckin ascian does anything I'm like "yeah alright". like I kind of expected they had the ability to world hop #cltffxiv

what I love about urianger is he made a bunch of FAIRIES nickname him "the peculiar one". pixies looked at urianger and (delightedly) went "oh he's a weirdo"

#cltffxiv

lol. when u pick up a an aether current quest and u can just Tell its The Dungeon Quest. ur friend ran off to a forbidden place no one is allowed to step foot in, you say. big unspeakable monster, you say. surely this is a simple fetch quest, #cltffxiv

never mind a fairy got themselves turned into a beaver. that's a them problem. #cltffxiv

il mheg is lovely and obvs I love the fae but also just looking at it makes me want to sneeze #cltffxiv

"if ghosts are merely souls without bodies, what does that make us? I think you've become that which you fear most, brother dearest."

this is

literally

the most sibling thing I've ever heard a character say I'm DYING

#cltffxiv

it's the insideous weaponizing of ur siblings fears. fantastic. chefs kiss. once I perfectly timed telling my sister mushrooms were a fungus when she was 4 and to this day she hates mushrooms. that is THE energy they're bringing to the table here and I LOVE it #cltffxiv

I love that I'm getting chewed out by feo ul by never calling on them when I call on them like every 10 minutes to do inventory management ehdjshdledhalajl feo ul please.... #cltffxiv

"just what we need. another self important little brat."

"reminds me of my childhood."

AND THEN SHE THROTTLES HIM

I LOVE

LEVEILLIERS

SO MUCH

#cltffxiv

the gall of either of them calling someone else a self important little brat. God. I love them both. unbearable little shits

#cltffxiv

I'm p sure this isn't the first time we've seen urianger's face but he still deffo deserves the dramatic entrance. he's so hot it bears repeating. #cltffxiv

the outfit is also. incredibly good.

good to know the only way to get him out of the potato sack is to physically yoink him out of it & into another world so he can't put it back on again

#cltffxiv

idk if it's supposed to be more "the three people it would be worst for urianger specifically to lose" but the posing of the twins bodies with Aelfgar's is... a lot for me emotionally. esp since he's a little in front of them, like he died protecting them.... #cltffxiv

the twins being near canonically the people aelfgar cares the most about is so.... SO.... #cltffxiv

"tis a rendering of the elemental wheel, such as one might find in classrooms across the source"

hmm--hang on. aelfgar... literally only learned ye old home ec as a kid. when do u think aelfgar learned how to read #cltffxiv

HOW do u think he learned how to read. these are the questions one day I will have to answer lmao #cltffxiv

oh ho HO. umbral is light and astral is darkness... [ffxiv voice] are we the baddies??? #cltffxiv

we were the warrior of darkness the whole time.... ngl I didn't see this coming this is a delight lmao. let me punch hydaelyn I'm begging u #cltffxiv

"come now, 'tis scarce the first time thou hast beheld these fair features."

AHFHDLDHSLDHALDKA URIANGER LOOKING ME IN THE EYE AND SAYING "YOU ALREADY KNEW I WAS HOT" #cltffxiv

"that's my girl, thank you." oh... the head pat.....

#cltffxiv

"THE MINFILIA OF OLD... MY MINFILIA..."

NOT OUR MINFILIA

/MY/ MINFILIA

#cltffxiv

oh God we gotta watch it. OOF. THANCRED.... #cltffxiv

I am legitimately tearing up God. this rly is ripping out my heart...

thancred is acting like this not just bc this girl is not minfilia... it's because her not being minfilia is also why he CAN'T HAVE minfilia. and she tells him to protect her instead... OOF #cltffxiv

THIS IS ROUGH!!!! WHY IS THANCRED SUFFERING AT ALL TIMES #cltffxiv

also. the "like this I'm no different than an ascian" IS SUCH A SPECIFIC KNIFE WOW. MINFILIA. MA'AM. #cltffxiv

"you couldn't have returned at a better time. the pixies had just decided it would be amusing to have alisaie and I exchange outfits."

... don't stop on my account #cltffxiv

"I dare not ask what happened in our absence" personally I cannot express enough how much I am DYING to know what went down #cltffxiv

Alphinaud being Delighted to learn urianger can't swim either.... akfhdhakdhal idiots...... #cltffxiv

I feel like at some point in stormblood alphinaud can't swim became somewhat non-canon bc aelfgar absolutely takes it upon himself to teach the boy to swim so now he can like. tread and do a half-hearted front crawl.

he's still afraid of water tho, perhaps more so, bc aelfgar deffo just dumped him in a lake & called it a lesson #cltffxiv

hot frog. leggy. that's the tweet #cltffxiv

AHHHHHH... ardbert saving me... "you're alive, thank the gods" hhhh HIM!!!!

I'm Weeping.... #cltffxiv

okay so like. alisaie and I can breathe underwater but. Alphinaud can't even swim so uhhhhhhhhHhhhh #cltffxiv

idk how the ardbert plot ends but I'm sure it's some sort of tragically, so I'm already rewriting it in my head.

anyway this is the scene where they realize they can touch, sort of, and the connection fades after ardbert realizes aelfgar's not gonna drown #cltffxiv

apologies if shadowbringers actually feeds me in this particular way but if it doesn't this is where the scene goes. if it DOES then we'll put a pin in it lmao #cltffxiv

"they were a stubborn lot the voeburtites. set in their ways. but once you got to know them, you couldn't find a more welcoming people."

hm. hey ardbert quick question but uhh where were u from exactly #cltffxiv

lmao I'm immediately proven right #cltffxiv

oh... it reminds aelfgar of Ishgard specifically.... wow.... WOW..... #cltffxiv

I love that the pixies love that the twins are twins. they truly get it. My People, etc, #cltffxiv

okay so I took a couple days off to clean out my inventory (and pick up a couple new classes), we're back to msq babey

ahhh, nu mou cute!

#cltffxiv

the... the words of power... roll over... and fetch...

cú sidhe but they're regular dogs dhdjsoshsoaah

wait what are the scottish version of cú sidhe. are they less Death Omen-y #cltffxiv

[googles]

okay yeah they're cù sìthe and they're still kinda death omen-y if u ask me #cltffxiv

WYD LAD! WYD LAD!! #cltffxiv

fae errands... faerrands.... #cltffxiv

"the truth is, he can't stand to be around me. because I'm not her. I'm not his minfilia." #cltffxiv

honestly it must be so terrifying and dehumanizing to be little minfilia. she doesn't even have her own name... god

I'm getting The Link Emotion again!! #cltffxiv

aw little minfilia... babey... minfilia would want u to have ur own life I think. u don't have to become her to make other people happy 😭 #cltffxiv

HORROR MOVIE TITANIA. GOD. HELL YEAH. H EL L YEAH. #cltffxiv

wokeldorf... #cltffxiv

OH GOD U GET MISTAKEN FOR ARDBERT. GOD. G O D.

I LOVE THIS ITS SO GOOD.

#cltffxiv

so Amaro are just like?? people???? #cltffxiv

wait okay "among we Amaro, there are those who awaken to abilities long lost in our kind, speech among them."

so they're like... the enlightened animals in the ruby sea???

but the "long lost in our kind" bit is. wild #cltffxiv

the implications Amaro were a people once but now they're chocobos except sometimes they regain their sentience???? #cltffxiv

oh okay wait it's secrets of nimh shit fjsodhalajal ALRIGHT #cltffxiv

oh holy shit to answer seto's question (why help) I chose the dialogue option "to keep a promise to my friends" and seto is like "the same exact words...?"

and now I'm dying to know if he says that regardless or if I rly picked The Ardbert Option

LOVE IT REGARDLESS #cltffxiv

HIS NAME... WAS ARDBERT... AND HE WAS MY FRIEND.....

#cltffxiv

ardbert was a trusting soul, constantly being drawn into the troubles of others. yet in spite of this, he never thought twice when he saw someone in need. he always tried to help."

im crying real tears #cltffxiv

"HE WAS A GOOD MAN. HE DESERVED TO BE HAPPY."

STANDS UP. METAPHORICALLY SHOVES EVERYTHING OFF MY DESK. YANKS OUT A METAPHORICAL PEN.

ARDBERT HAPPY ENDING WILL BE HAPPENING IRREGARDLESS OF WHAT FINAL FANTASY FOURTEEN GIVES ME.

#cltffxiv

his little. mouth tremble. listening to this. hey. this killed the man (me)

#cltffxiv

I know ardbert's soul being like urs is more abt Literally Your Foil On A Metaphysical Level but also

CANON SOULMATES CANON SOULMATES CANON SOULMATES #cltffxiv

"of course, you are you and no one else. we are defined not by the soul we are born with, but the path we walk"

the best way to do canon soulmates tbh #cltffxiv

the dancing plague now unlocked

alright I think that's actually all for tonight... Titania Saturday!! #cltffxiv

is granson tankrolequests hot, or does he just have a dangly earring #cltffxiv

ah yes feo ul "volunteered" to be king... no ulterior motives at all... djdhakahska i love them #cltffxiv

ALRIGHT I RETURN

sorry I took a week off to do the entirety if arr msq on an alt. it's fine. he has a car now

ANYWAY FIRST OFFICIAL MEETING OF EMET-SELCH AND THE SQUAD

his stupid saunter. is still so good. #cltffxiv

[emet-selch voice] can you like, not

"~cooperation~"

#cltffxiv

"that an ascian of emet-selch's standing should willingly reveal himself unto us--and at this of all juncture--is... most interesting."

of COURSE u would say that urianger u shady binch ahdjshskahala #cltffxiv

I love every single time they send me to bed. Boyfriend Time #cltffxiv

the ghost of ur cosmic soulmates who LIVES IN UR ROOM AND VISITS YOU AT NIGHT #cltffxiv

oh wait I'm sorry

it's the OTHER man trying to get into my pants (the crystal exarch. I ASSUME.) #cltffxiv

oh the cosmic soulmate is also here tho. triad.....

#cltffxiv

ardbert: it cost us everything we held dear.

aelfgar: ...not everything

ardbert: you mean seto?

me, clasping aelfgar on the shoulder: well, you tried

#cltffxiv

"tho my power will be much diminished so far from the tower, it is a risk I'm willing to take"

[theory posting noises intensify in the bg]

#cltffxiv

I desperately want to know what the exarch did to piss y'stola off (assuming it wasn't "kidnap her from the source") that means he a) hasn't even been able to tell her ur here and b) is making u bring her an apology gift shrhdjshdkshsak #cltffxiv

"if you really want to stay, then help us fight"

"mmmmmm.... no."

god. why is he so fucking funny #cltffxiv

SO HE'S JUST. HERE NOW? HE'S JUST A PARTY MEMBER NOW. INCREDIBLE. #CLTFFXIV

this is incredible I adore. this annoying evil grandpa #cltffxiv

YOU'VE COMMITTED THE CARDINAL SIN OF ~BORING~ ME

#CLTFFXIV

OH RIGHT Y'STOLA IS BLIND & CAN ONLY SEE AETHER

SO SHE JUST SEES A HUGE BUNCH OF LIGHT & IT LOOKS LIKE A SIN EATER. God. i love the IMPLICATIONS there.

#cltffxiv

the matoya music in y'shtola's house... wow....... #cltffxiv

lmao y'shtola seeing right through the exarch's apology gift

shdjshsskhsak idk why I find this back and forth so funny but it is #cltffxiv

y'shtola lowkey cult leader is... no less than she deserves tbh ABDHSAHKAJAKAJALA

#cltffxiv

"I have much to learn if I'm to be even half the hero you are. the hero she was..."

i am at ALL times crying about baby minfilia #cltffxiv

the Citia Swamps sure is. a name. for a place. #cltffxiv

does this joke work for non-dyslexics. ...ah well #cltffxiv

once in chat awhile back someone shared a graphic of ffxiv dads ranked and I was like "thancred?? is a dad???"

anyway, #cltffxiv

minfilia's little determined speech on how we have to do our best, and then the shot of thancred in the background looking at her. GOD. #cltffxiv

update Kate @slightlyisland has found the convo for me shdhdjshsskshak

"a chance to reclaim the night has lit a fire in minfilia that I would see rekindled." aww thancred!!! good dad thancred....... he really does want to help her become her own person. he wouldn't be grieving so hard if he didn't.

#cltffxiv

(because. he's deliberately letting his minfilia go. to help little minfilia. and so he's grieving her loss. and he wouldn't be if he was trying to get her to be A Minfilia™, as I understand it.) #cltffxiv

"bees are the natural enemy of spiders"

i. okay, y'shtola. I don't know enough about bees or spiders to refute that #cltffxiv

so on the one hand, given drk quests, like 60/40 that ardbert is a manifestation of your own like... projection of self as warrior of dark

on the other hand the rest of the warriors of darkness are sin eaters but he's Missing from their number so he... might? be here? #cltffxiv

that being said either way the ending is probably gonna be the same (Letting Him Go/Be At Peace) so my current romance arc rewrite works either way #cltffxiv

lmao I was RIGHT about the implications (about the WoL essentially being a lightwarden in stasis bc ur... the WoL)

stares Real Pointedly at the crystal exarch #cltffxiv

ordinarily I'd say all signs point to the crystal exarch being The Real Bad Guy (or an ascian) but them why... did he bring u here & give u the PowerPoint. the problem with this guy is I have NO idea of his motivations #cltffxiv

speak of the devil lmao #cltffxiv

oh I'm dumb as hell, the exarch's hands don't have the cat claws. like u could argue he's hiding the tail & ears but those are... hyur hands

okay so maybe not?? g'raha tia clone????? automaton still strongly possible tho

doesn't explain how he... got here... tho #cltffxiv

best guess is still "guy summoned the tower, accidentally merged with it, is now the crystal exarch" #cltffxiv

he has cute little delicate hands tho. this close up shot is making some compelling points despite all the dubious evidence piling up against him ahdhdkshslshslaajla #cltffxiv

"little wonder the warrior of darkness visits both Lakeland and il mheg, yet shuns rak'tika. your perverted teachings hold blessed shadows at bay!"

the warrior of darkness, standing 5 feet behind y'shtola & also her personal friend: uh.

#cltffxiv

thancred looking to little minfilia, seeing her nod, and then also nodding. wow. incredible, showstopping, brilliant, one of a kind, #cltffxiv

y'shtola!????????? 😧😧😧😧 #cltffxiv

desperately wracking my brain to see if we saw endwalker y'shtola because I GENUINELY DID NOT SEE THAT COMING #cltffxiv

"my condolences, by the way. tis never easy to lose the ones we love"

emet-selch I can't handle this statement from you at this juncture sgdgdhsjsjsls

#cltffxiv

y'shtola u rly need to get a handle on that spell if ur gonna keep using it like this shskshska #cltffxiv

the whole party: looks sad & downcast bc y'stola is Stuck again

emet-selch: oh, very well, I'll go and fetch her

shhssjalshakahl the implication that the WoL can just pout & look sad and he'll just. do stuff. for us. INCREDIBLE??? #cltffxiv

oh sure just take an ascian lamp & do some shit with it, let's just trust it does what he says fhdksdhslshsk

incredible. we are... idiots #cltffxiv

even if this works I maintain that letting him do it is a hilariously bad idea #cltffxiv

he even gave her clothes skdhsksksh incredible #cltffxiv

RUNAR AND Y'SHTOLA ARE. CUTE. HE JUST PRINCESS CARRIES HER.... WOW..... #cltffxiv

"before long, they will remember their many differences and return to squabbling."

"says the bringer of chaos."

"FLATTERY WILL GET YOU NOWHERE, DEAR BOY."

first of all I don't believe that at ALL, flattery can absolutely get u anywhere with emet-selch, but also,

#cltffxiv

emet-selch/wol. real. wow. WOW. #cltffxiv

[emet-selch voice] fighting and dying to the warriors of light is so... passé. have we tried fucking the warrior of light

#cltffxiv

ravel time. let's hopefully get some cute clothes #cltffxiv

I raveled! I am now in cutted scene

god I'm having so many Thoughts about how ur basically just giving urself the light sickness / turning urself into a lightwarden.... trying to figure out how we'd be our own last boss and I'm rly excited to see how this goes #cltffxiv

DID Y'SHTOLA? JUST SMACK? URIANGER'S? ASS???????

EXCUSE???? ME??????

#cltffxiv

"navigating these halls on foot is exhausting" emet-selch can't u just become a ball of darkness. why do u gotta walk at all fhdjahdalhaoajskajala #cltffxiv

(dw I know the answer. For The Drama Of It All)

"as I have told you a thousand times before: I like to watch, nothing more"

clears throat loudly #cltffxiv

I cannot just keep tweeting everything he says, but rest assured it's all fantastic #cltffxiv

thancred: hydaelyn is a PRIMAL? [shocked Pikachu face]

me: ...thancred. SHE TEMPERED MINFILIA. KEEP UP!!

#cltffxiv

anyway GLAD TO BE RIGHT LMAOOO

#cltffxiv

"yet you have not explained the role of the ascians in all of this."

y'shtola welcome to my life for the last 75 levels of game

#cltffxiv

his stupid wave....

god. thank u ffxiv for my LIFE #cltffxiv

"If that were hydaelyn's origin, then what would that make-- ...No. I will not take the words of an Ascian on trust. It has to be a lie."

oh, THANCRED......

god. Give Thancred A Break Challenge

#cltffxiv

I love that shadowbringers dictates how often you actually go sleep because each night... you see.... ardbert...... #cltffxiv

I GOT LEVEL LOCKRD OUT OF MSQ #CLTFFXIV

THE HOMOPHOBIA OF IT ALL. LET ME SEE THE BOYFRIEND!! #CLTFFXIV

alright I raveled again.

"you look the same as you ever did to me." 🥺 #cltffxiv

I'm glad ardbert just calls him emet. I will also be doing this now. #cltffxiv

ardbert is asking the Real questions!!! #cltffxiv

Aelfgar's shocked Pikachu face at the implication that they might be tempered is canon fhsjdhslshsl he has Truly not thought about The Implications until they were spelled out #cltffxiv

"it was moments like that that I cherished, much more than the thrill of adventure. the quiet after the storm." ahhhhh

#cltffxiv

aelfgar just... smiling... at him.... #cltffxiv

oh right. garlemald lmaooo #cltffxiv

the adventures of gaius & estinien is. so funny. to imagine. incredible. thank u canon for this gift. #cltffxiv

I forgot @Mondegreened told me Aelfgar's gathering outfit is estinien's shb outfit ahfhdkshslahalahslahslahsal

akajfhdkshs His Royal Remains.... #cltffxiv

imagine literally any character in this game having a confidential conversation anywhere that isn't Out In The Open Where They Can Be Evesdropped On #cltffxiv

oh wait so is he just. body hopping? now? that's not an elf aldhdhalshal

#cltffxiv

"THERE IS BUT ONE HAND THAT CAN MAKE ME WHOLE AGAIN.... MY ENEMY... MY FRIEND....." #cltffxiv

zenos like >:[ where is my wol whomst I love & wish to beat up!!! paying attention to something? that isn't me??? How Could They #cltffxiv

ardbert :(((

#cltffxiv

ardbert watching you... ahhhhh.......

imagine this scene but after ardbert has been able to touch things, just Only Aelfgar. OOF. #cltffxiv

LYNA...., 😭

"WHO I FAILED TO PROTECT WHEN THEY NEEDED ME MOST"

THE WAY HER VOICE CRACKS AND GOES TINY..... #cltffxiv

so like. I'm 90% sure vauthry is the eulmore lightwarden. I'm partially like, "that doesn't make any damn sense" and partially "well titiana was still mostly there right"

the other lightwardens were themed tho so I'm a bit confused. but titiana breaks theme too... #cltffxiv

hey so during that fight when thancred said "this one is MINE" do u think he meant the sin eater or little minfilia #cltffxiv

aelfgar would see a sad child grappling with the weight of her responsibilities and survivor's grief, filled with an overwhelming guilt about being an unwanted burden, and just. poke her. cheer up kid!

#cltffxiv

I do think aelfgar has a nice smile. hes cute!! #cltffxiv

emet: I cannot BELIEVE you all left me behind without SAYING anything!!

crystal exarch:

crystal exarch: anyway,

#cltffxiv

oh is THAT (trying to temper someone) what he was doing?

hm. putting up a tentative Vauthry Primal (??) post-it note on the theory wall

#cltffxiv

anyway I feel. weirdly a lot better about the chais throwing someone over the railing lmao

#cltffxiv

silently putting "not immune to being tempered(?)" on the Crystal Exarch Wall™

#cltffxiv

the REAL minfilia.... ahhh... poor little minfilia.... :(

the fact that she doesn't even feel an ownership of HER OWN NAME.... GOD. THIS POOR KID. #cltffxiv

THE RAGING TEMPEST IN YOUR BOSOM.... SHDHSJDHSKZKAKA

I'm sorry this scene is actually so fraught & I'm sitting on pins and needles but why. did he put it like that. emet I love u but shut up pLEASE

#CLTFFXIV

God he loves them both so much and he's going to lose one and the thought of it being EITHER of them is BREAKING HIS HEART. #cltffxiv

listen. listen. if actually wanted little minfilia gone he wouldn't be so against this idea. I know little minfilia thinks it's bc if she wins he'll lose his minfilia but *gently grabs her shoulders* you are also his minfilia

#cltffxiv

ALISAIE SAYING THANCRED REMINDS THEM OF THEIR DAD??? WHAT

#cltffxiv

emet-selch, cheerfully: oh yeah I'm tempered as HELL

#cltffxiv

hardyss.... this guy's name. is. hardyss... #cltffxiv

take comfort in the bonds you share. except the pain when you are parted.....

ardbert.......... #cltffxiv

a middle mord...... #cltffxiv

I love the detail about how hastily and terribly aelfgar apparently takes notes. that's my boy. #cltffxiv

"WE CAN TRY THE GONDOLA. MIGHT DIE, BUT EH."

I'M SORRY I KNOW THATS NOT THE RIGHT ANSWER BUT. THAT IS. UNFORTUNATELY. THE AELFGAR ANSWER. DJSHHZAJAK #cltffxiv

A SOCERER ANCIENT AS TIME ITSELF........

#cltffxiv

thancred: are you a couple of morons

urianger: no no I wanna hear more about the ageless sorcerer and his heoric deeds

hey. urianger? u are LEGALLY not allowed to be funny. I CANNOT handle it if urianger is funny

#cltffxiv

I feel a little awkward about that guy I like, just murdered. hope he wasn't a close friend of these guys fjdhdjska #cltffxiv

"DOST THOU SEEK THE DOVERERS WISDOM, YOUNG ONE"

GOODBYE FOREVER, URIANGER

#cltffxiv

the worst part is this makes perfect sense. modern au urianger's favorite things to do are tabletop games and larping groups. I hate they made that canon djdjsjskkaa #cltffxiv

oh I just realized I wrote doverers and not. sorcerers? alfjdhsldhaksjal usually my typos are a bit easier to parse sorry about that #cltffxiv

anyway I logged off for the night but I was thinking about it and I realized I was so caught up in how their dad is Implied To Suck that I didn't realize the real take away here was supposed to be alisaie saying thancred has Dad Energy now

https://twitter.com/crazelivetweets/status/1448137388652257284?t=3BzVnGzSoktbQMXmU35kIA&s=19

"MINFILIA HAS SPENT TOO LONG IN CHAINS ALREADY I WOULD NOT SHACKLE HER AGAIN BY MAKING MY HOPES KNOWN." WOW #cltffxiv

"it is for her to choose what shape her destiny will take. it is for me to stay silent. to protect her, teach her, and stand by her that at least, I can do.

w o w

#cltffxiv

"I could at least show you the trolley car we have here if you like? you could give it a stroke or two--it has some VERY smooth wood..." I gotta give this guy props for how confidentially he's shooting his shot here lmaoooo #cltffxiv

"if tomorrow came and I was gone, it would be better for everyone!" BABY MINFILIA 😭😭😭 #cltffxiv

people patting little minfilia on the head is just making me cry a bunch

I need our minfilia to please give this child a hug & a pat & tell her she's perfect

(also thancred thank u)

#cltffxiv

aelfgar felt one (1) regret about disliking thancred but he's back to being like. Hm. Couldn't Be Me. lmaooo

#cltffxiv

emet: why don't u tell the WoL about our Little Chats
me: 👀
the exarch: and risk souring your budding relationship?
me: 👀👀

#cltffxiv

"much as I dislike you, there are more useful targets for his energies. and I am not in the habit of pointing him at my enemies like a weapon."

uhhhhh

stares pointedly at the plot to get rid of the lightwardens.

Citation Needed

#cltffxiv

"is that right? fond of him, are you?"

these two are literally just having a cat fight over the WoL. this is INCREDIBLE.

#cltffxiv

I'm glad emet also has a crystal exarch theory board. time to compare notes. I'm scribbling furiously. #cltffxiv

okay wait hang on.

"[I am] the great work of those who tamed the wings of time and grasped the najlture of the rift. a boon born of sacrifices yet unmade, the parting gift of brave heroes who will one day give their lives."

the exarch is [squints] FROM THE FUTURE? #cltffxiv

OOOHHH. urianger DIDN'T see that horrible future where everyone died. the EXARCH (or whoever created the exarch) did. and then they invented time travel. and sent him to. the first?? did they... miss??

no wait they probably knew fixing the first fixes the source

#cltffxiv

it's all coming together!! oh ho ho!!!

okay so he's still probably some kind of automaton or physical construct, from the future, and he (and the tower) were sent back in time to the first

also explains why our tower isn't like. missing. #cltffxiv

little minfilia saying goodbye to everyone.... GOD.

#cltffxiv

so now it's just little minfilia, thancred, and aelfgar shdhsjahskajaka God this is so hilariously awkward.

I love that Aelfgar & Thancred could finally bond over like, being parents, and instead Aelfgar is just silently judging his parenting abilities #cltffxiv

how did this binch even survive the fall into the pit

wait did he not fall in the pit. I could've sworn we pushed him in.

#cltffxiv

wait if we're running then why is this--OH I'M THANCRED HUH. NICE. I CAN DEFFO GNB THIS.

I love that it's about who's the better dad. #cltffxiv

bloody thancred. hot. #cltffxiv

ah. he's finally. letting... go....

thancred you better not FUCKING die here. NOT before telling little minfilia you love her.

(speaking of is that what he said at the end of that cutscene ajdhskahsl. censored for npc shipping.) #cltffxiv

anyway weirdly I find the RP as classes u already know... probably not HARDER than "now learn how to heal" but it's deffo disorienting that my buttons are very distressingly in the wrong place lmao #cltffxiv

that being said it only took me two tries (bc of the fuckin endure mechanic) on normal instead of the like 6 tries y'shtola's took me (even on easy) so im still doing a lot better lmao #cltffxiv

(I do like to be reassured I am like. Solidly Okay at my actual classes.) #cltffxiv

"it's my sacrifice to make!"

"your time has not yet come."

god. ardbert tried to sacrifice himself like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF HIS FRIENDS and minfilia said no. and also implied he's still alive?

(but not For Long lmaooo) #cltffxiv

YES MINFILIAS FINALLY GET TO TALK. GOD. I'M CLUTCHING MY CHEST. #cltffxiv

I never really got used to minfilias uh... dangle braids... so u didn't realize little minfilia's single braid was an echo (punintended) of it... God. this POOR. KID. #cltffxiv

"SINCE ALL OF OUR HEROES ARE GONE, WE'LL JUST HAVE TO MAKE HEROES OF OURSELVES."

i love. little minfilia. so. much.

#cltffxiv

give her a gentle kiss give her a gentle kiss give her a gentle kiss-- #cltffxiv

YESSSSS.

but also. minfilia.... im crying real tears... goodbye..... I love you........

#cltffxiv

shadowbringers is about how heroes are not individuals but groups of people all doing their best and relying on each other

like that's literally the text lmao. u LITERALLY have to play as & with all ur friends to progress the plot

#cltffxiv

oh!! she's ginger now!!! ahh she's so cute!!!! #cltffxiv

MINFILIA CHANGING HER HAIR AND EYES... MAKING LITTLE MINFILIA HER OWN PERSON...... WOW.......... #CLTFFXIV

little minfilia: I can still feel her with me

aelfgar, dark knight: nodding solemnly

the idea of aelfgar going "no no I Understand this one" bc he has a sarcastic little projection of himself who says all the mean things he can't is. so funny

#cltffxiv

"YOU DON'T THINK THANCRED WILL BE ANGRY WITH ME, DO YOU" KIDDO!! 😭😭😭

god. thancred if ur dead im going to be Furious with you. please give this child some RESOLUTION or I'll UNALIVE YOU #cltffxiv

thank God he's alive and also still covered in blood. best of both worlds #cltffxiv

oof I love this cutscene but unfortunately reili is talking to me abt something. please hold #cltffxiv

"I'm glad you're back." YESSSSSSSSSSSSS #cltffxiv

"YOU DON'T HAVE TO SAY THAT, YOU KNOW"

"BUT I WANT TO. YOU'RE FAMILY."

YES! YES! YES! YES! Y E S! #cltffxiv

SHE'S CRYING AND NOW I'M CRYING #CLTFFXIV

"who should give little minfilia a new name?"

everyone: stares at thancred

lmao

#cltffxiv

alphinaud: thancred should do it, he's her dad

alisaie: thank God we have you here to explain things

AUDHDKSHA I. LOVE HER. BULLY HIM!!!! #cltffxiv

HER NEW NAME, GIVEN BY THANCRED BC HE'S HER DAD, IA "BLESSING" IN FAE.

WOW

WOW!!

THATS HIS DAUGHTER!!! #cltffxiv

the hilarity of me seeing the name ryne out of context before but having no idea who that is fhsgdsjakajal #cltffxiv

oh shit I got the aether current quest. u guys know what THAT means #cltffxiv

malika's well now accessible! @Mondegreened do u still wanna come along?

good thing we always kill a lightwarden at night, otherwise the Sky Reveal™ would be a little less impressive lmao

#cltffxiv

okay I fucked up the thread again and had to delete a bunch of tweets so to recap: there was ardbert scene again, he's realized he can help maybe with the light sickness problem, I'm having emotions about it #cltffxiv

primarily about if ardbert dies to protect aelf its a Big Oof but if they both survive this because they have to be heroes together and no one can stand alone... i just want ardbert to good end lmao #cltffxiv

uhhh and then I laughed about the crystal exarch's nervous shuffle outside the door. his crush is incredible. I also said it was baffling but I remembered/the echo reminded me he's from The Future where ur literally The Great Hero so he has like

a literary crush on u

#cltffxiv

I love that emet-selch has been hanging out & offering to give us more info /the ascian side of things & we just keep. ignoring him. ahdjska could NOT be me. #cltffxiv

with how much shit hasn't added up wrt hydaelyn ever since she LITERALLY TEMPERED MINFILIA? we should've all realized why we couldn't be tempered bc we had her "blessing" YEARS ago. why NOT ask the enemy for their side of things at this point. LIKE IF HE'S OFFERING?? #cltffxiv

not to be rude to the scions but ur all edging into frustratingly idiotic territory. its not that I think ascians are suddenly the good guys but I do think we have a moral imperative to ACTUALLY FIGURE OUT WHAT THIS WAR IS ABOUT BEFORE WE CONTINUE TO BLINDLY FIGHT IT? #cltffxiv

I think the thing that gets me is they even acknowledge this and then refuse to actually do anything about it dhdjskshsls #cltffxiv

oh alright I know how the ardbert plot ends

hm

well. fuck. fine, I guess,,

it's getting kind of crowded in Aelfgar's brain tho I GOTTA say lmao

#cltffxiv

(to clarify it hasn't happened yet, emet-selch is just explaining how hydaelyn's powers work and how everyone's counterpart is themselves split in 13 pieces) #cltffxiv

"I do not consider you to be truly alive. ergo, I will not be guilty of murder if I kill you." AJDHDJDDGSKSGAKA EMET

god I love him. he's so awful fhahdhsks

#cltffxiv

emet: oh don't look at me like that :(

god. I'm in love with him #cltffxiv

(Aelfgar isn't, to clarify. I, craze, on the other hand,)

#cltffxiv

genuinely curious why they haven't floated the "vauthry is the lightwarden" theory yet

is it just that when u meet a lightwarden u Know & since most of us have met him we know it's not him? #cltffxiv

holy shit emet-selch just dropped the lore that

there's technically only 3 ascians & everyone else was. picked to be one?

BECAUSE ASCIAN NAMES ARE? TITLES OF OFFICE?

I'M SORRY? BEING AN ASCIAN IS A JOB????? #CLTFFXIV

ELECTED OFFICIAL (DEROGATORY) #CLTFFXIV

"the vacant title ordinarily goes to another grant of the selfsame soul"

ASCIANS AREN'T IMMORTAL THEY JUST CONSIDER ALL 14 VERSIONS OF A PERSON ONE PERSON? W H A T

WHY ARE THEY DROPPING THIS IN SIDE NPC DIALOGUE

I'M LOSING MY SHIT???

#CLTFFXIV

*fragment

ALPHINAUD.... alphinaud looking at vauthry and seeing the self-centered part of himself....

I want to give him the gentlest kiss

#cltffxiv

"the extent of the effects seemeth to vary dramatically between subjects. 'tis far too pronounced to be attributed simply to the vagaries of inate magical resistence."

sits boltright up. M E O L. #cltffxiv

WHAT'S! IN! MEOL! #CLTFFXIV

I love that alisaie is still getting confused with alphinaud even when they don't wear matching outfits anymore & she's slightly less flat chested. identical twins.... #cltffxiv

YESSSSSSSSSSSSS I WAS FUCKING! RIGHT!

okay not really because it is SOMEHOW WORSE THAN SOLENT GREEN IS PEOPLE.

BUT STILL. AJFHDHDHSKAA. GOD I LOVE THIS HORROR TOWN #CLTFFXIV

MANY ENTER. BUT NONE. LEAVE.

SOLENT GREEN IS PEEEEEOPLLEEEEEEE

#CLTFFXIV

on the one hand I was absolutely right. on the other hand: fucking wild lmao

i love this

#cltffxiv

gender: vauthry
species: vauthry

#cltffxiv

I love his tiny wings so much #cltffxiv

alphinaud: there are people here who need our help!

alisaie: oh, alphinaud...

the fond exasperation in her voice. I. LOVE them. #cltffxiv

eulmore citizen: oh so we're completely blameless in this?

alphinaud: lmao. no.

GOOD, TBH. I'm glad we're like "actually this is a societal problem" #cltffxiv

i love whenever we get a full shot of the whole party and alphinuad is the one at the center. it happens so often fhshdhsk

The Real Protagonist.... #cltffxiv

chai-nuzz: I can't just pick up a hammer and get to work!

dulia- chai: u can't? 🥺

chai-nuzz: fuck

hey. hey. I love. these marrieds. #cltffxiv

u can rly see emet-selch visibly eyeing u up & trying to size u for like, emperor's consort attire #cltffxiv

"it's a compliment! take it." #cltffxiv

"REST ASSURED THAT IF YOUR HEART COULD NE NROKE THAN SO COULD MINE"

I'M.

OKAY, EMET.

#CLTFFXIV

emet-selch rly is ur annoying grandpa who's like "back in my day things were Better...." #cltffxiv

"not that you would remember any of this"

me & aelfgar at the same time: remember?

#cltffxiv

the implication that everyone on all the shards are the same souls getting, like, reincarnated again & again??

OR

that Aelfgar is one of the... sundered ascians.... I hope that's the truth bc the implications there are Tasty

probably it's just he's that but opposite tho lmao

(one of the original people who summoned hydaelyn, I mean, which is why his soul is still around but keeps gritting reborn bc it sundered. or s/t. idk that sounds pretty squeenix tho.

emet-selch likes u tho so sundered ascian makes a compelling point.) #cltffxiv

"how WELL do you know the exarch? has he ever DEIGNED to show you what lies BENEATH the cowl?"

the words as written: implies the exarch is sus af (we knew this)

the words as BEAUTIFULLY SPOKEN [deeply I'm Not Jealous voice] : so are you fucking?

#cltffxiv

"I shall enjoy working out what it means."

I love that both emet-selch & I are cheerfully creating crystal exarch theory boards. share ur notes with the class emet. #cltffxiv

"DON'T MAKE A CHOICE THAT LEAVES YOU ALONE."

ARDBERT 😭😭😭 #cltffxiv

it's fine we can be two guys in one body I'm okay with this dbdjskaka. Here's How Ardbert Can Still Win #cltffxiv

AELFGAR GESTURING FOR ARDBERT TO COME WITH... GOD....... #cltffxiv

btw I love that on lvl 78 and there's straight up an entire area I haven't even unlocked yet. azys lla.... 2 #cltffxiv

chai-nuzz: who ARE you people?

aelfgar, jokingly: the artist alphinaud and his assistants

dulia-chai: dearest, have you forgotten already? alphinaud told us that when we first met!

dbdbdndnsl I love her so much... dulia-chai my beloved.... #cltffxiv

the chai nuzz encouragement duty complete with You've Successfully Completed The Dungeon Music.... fjzhsbshsjaahshajaka #cltffxiv

squints at crystal exarch. "what one man can envision, he can make reality..." the music right here.... the outfits in the flashback.... is the crystal exarch... Cid?????? no that's ridiculous. he's deffo related to the Ironworks tho lmao #cltffxiv

did Cid & Nero make. an automaton son boy. #cltffxiv

a hearty lali-ho....

oh excellent dwarf town has an aetheryte & it's a sanctuary. nap time.

alright I have NAPPED and MADE SOUP and EATEN SOUP and PUT THE LEFTOVER SOUP IN THE FRIDGE. dwarf time

#cltffxiv

[watching a dwarf walk]
squints

oh ho ho. OH HO HO HO HO HO HO HO.

KATE ALREADY TOLD ME THEY'RE A BEAST TRIBE OR ELSE I WOULD NOT BE SO FUCKING EXCITED ABOUT THIS LMAOOOO. GOD BLESS. (the last one I saw was sitting so it didn't like. hit me. lmao.)

#cltffxiv

me banging pots and pans together BEAST TRIBES IS A SOCIAL CONSTRUCT & THEY'RE JUST PEOPLE #cltffxiv

anyway the first is right.

[points at an elezen] what the fuck is an elezen. that's an elf

[points at a lala] and that's just a fucking dwarf

#cltffxiv

3D... minerunner.......

#cltffxiv

the game: shoot the dwarf wearing the incorrect helmet

aelfgar, immediately & without hesitation: shoots the crystal exarch

crystal exarch: >:[

aelfgar: what. you're not wearing the correct helmet

#cltffxiv

dwarf: you've got what it takes to be a miner!

aelfgar, lvl 78 miner: wow thanks

#cltffxiv

I can't get over how obviously they're lalas lmao. it's actually p cool, like. they wear helmets & are called dwarves, so it's kind of hard at first glance, but the second they move & emote ur like. oh! that's a lalafell!

clever as hell way to convey that tbh

#cltffxiv

"can I interest you in some Dwarven crafts? other kholisian fineries?"

fine... Dwarven crafts.....

#cltffxiv

look me in the eye and tell me final fantasy fourteen didn't make a fine dwarven crafts joke

#cltffxiv

I hate that I'm in duty and can't tweet all this shit they're saying #cltffxiv

by "they" I mean the exarch's incredible literary crush on u. #cltffxiv

ur his heeerooooo #cltffxiv

OKAY DUTY COMPLETE #cltffxiv

"it may interest you to know that Aelfgar is a great hero in the land whence he hails. some would say the GREATEST."

"really? you must have some great stories to tell, aelfgar."

"that he does. tales to impress and inspire you in turn."

G O D #cltffxiv

i love the exarch's parasocial relationship with the wol. ur literally his favorite storybook come to life. the real reason he wears the hood is to hide his giant heart eyes when ur in the room. #cltffxiv

"you two make a great team!"

"aelfgar is a team unto himself. I merely follow his lead."

"well, it looks like you've been doing this for years to me."

"... is that so? I-I shall take that as a compliment."

HES SO FLUSTERED AHHH. #CLTFFXIV

the canonical ship for endwalker is 1000% ardbert/aelfgar but I think, depending on how this plot goes, the exarch deserves to get dicked down at some point. I'll figure it out lmao. #cltffxiv

"how long have you two known each other, anyway?"
"well...."

AIDHDHSOAHA YEAH EXARCH. ANSWER THE QUESTION WHDHDJSGSAJKAHSKAHAA

#cltffxiv

okay that's all for this duty. himophobic of them to make me read all that while I was on a timer. #cltffxiv

I love this minor npc (jeryk) who just wants to fuck a talos. hes so FUCKING valid. #cltffxiv

I feel like urianger goes out of his way to find plans that LITERALLY hinge on us not knowing fuck or shit lmao.

like imagine if there was a plan that he needed to tell u about beforehand. [urianger voice] abominable...

#cltffxiv

oh hey I was right about the exarch being merged with the tower. nice. admittedly this was a gimme but still. given that my current theories about him range from "g'raha tia memory loss" to "future cidnero child" it's good to have a win lol #cltffxiv

"then this may be the last moment we have for awhile. come, sit with me" oohhh he's MAKING HIS MOVE.... #cltffxiv

if Aelfgar's love interests in this game could please stop death flagging for five seconds that would be great

the only one not is EMET-SELCH lmao

#cltffxiv

well okay the crystal exarch (and emet-selch lmao) is more of a WoL love interest than an aelfgar-specific one but. u know what I mean. #cltffxiv

"MY HEART YEARNS TO LAY EVERYTHING BEAR. FOR HE IS MY INSPIRATION & I WOULD GIVE MUCH AND MORE FOR THE CHANCE TO SPEAK WITH HIM AS FRIENDS, WITH NO THOUGHT OF CONCEALMENT"

I'M INSANE WITH HOW GENUINELY IN LOVE? HE? IS? WITH? YOU?

#CLTFFXIV

that's just. text! it's JUST text. the crystal exarch is explicitly in love with you.

me: what if u wrote an aelfgar/ardbert/exarch threesome set here

me @ me: we don't even know who this is lmao. shut the fuck up.

me:
me:
me: [puts a pin in it]

#cltffxiv

"I WOULD ASK HIM ABOUT HIS NEXT ADVENTURE. AND IF HE SHOULD WISH ME TO BE A PART OF IT... OH, HOW HAPPY IT WOULD MAKE ME."

I M JUST. GESTURING. HELPLESSLY.

YOU?? GUYS????? #cltffxiv

crystal exarch: what do you want to do after this

aelfgar: uh, more adventuring I guess? hbu

crystal exarch: I want to be your wife

#cltffxiv

"my heart swells simply to imagine it" G O D. please let the crystal exarch survive the plot ffxiv... unlike ardbert (who would genuinely good end to be allowed to Be At Peace), the crystal exarch just wants to be free and be with you..... i will CRY if he dies #cltffxiv

"the people of this world have entrusted their hopes to is. we cannot fail them.

...nor those who roused me from my slumber."

NARROWS MY EYES ONCE A G A I N.

I AM

ONCE AGAIN ASKING

IF THIS BINCH

G'RAHA TIA

#CLTFFXIV

THE FACTS ARE THESE: merged with the tower. from our world (but the future) but still hiding from Us Specifically. hung out with the ironworks. in love w/ u but mostly knows u from stories. huge nerd. short/amab

REASONS AGAINST: not a cat. lied abt not knowing him??

#cltffxiv

I just want him to be g'raha tia simply bc I think it would be funny bc aelfgar fully bro-zoned him last time they met & completely missed his crush #cltffxiv

me crystal exarch posting:

I just rly hope it's not unukalhai. that might be the one person that's in the firm No pile for aelfgar

he's not that sort of dad

#cltffxiv

"MY ONE TRUE FRIEND" AKDHDHSLSJ GOD.

zenos tapping rapidly on the plot like "HEY. HEY. THERE'S FOUR LOVE INTERESTS IN THIS EXPACK, NOT THREE. I'M NOT LETTING GRANDAD WIN." #CLTFFXIV

for a hot second I was like "oh God am I gonna have to fight as Zenos" but thankfully rationality took hold. how wild would thatve been tho

#cltffxiv

pour one out for scotty about it #cltffxiv

ALRIGHT THATS ENOUGH FINALS FANTASY TONIGHT. TOMORROW I'VE BEEN INFORMED SHIT POPS OFF. 5.0 endgame time!!

#cltffxiv

MT. GULG NOW ACCESSIBLE

im not doing it until after dinner tho lmao. time for shit to pop off

#cltffxiv

the vauthry hot plot twist abfhdjshsk Incredible #cltffxiv

Several Cutscenes In Sequence #cltffxiv

alright urianger what's the big plan boyo #cltffxiv

I love how there's a ??? on this dialogue like I haven't been listening to emet-selch drawl this whole game #cltffxiv

"urianger if you've ught up your sleeve, now is the time"

y'shtola that's a sleeveless dress he's got on

#cltffxiv

ah, this self sacrificing bitch*. of course lmao. #cltffxiv

*the exarch lmao. I realize this could be other people

squints is he.... trying to make me hate him in some weird misguided attempt to be noble.

I simply don't believe him lmao #cltffxiv

ah... he's telling u he's using the power to travel bc he's rly exploding into a bunch of tiny pieces and he wants us to... not... mourn....

BINCH. if he survives this somehow I'm gonna punch him

#cltffxiv

I hope he survives bc ardbert saves him and takes his place. that's what I call story arcs. #cltffxiv

urianger? lying to us to save the world and use us as a pawn? nooooo. I'm shocked. #cltffxiv

oh y'shtola is explaining it lol SORRY I'LL WATCH AND STOP THEORY POSTING FOR ONCE. TIME FOR THEM TO EXPLAIN THINGS #cltffxiv

as a side note before it's revealed, I told reili I was finishing 5.0 tonight and also some of my theories and she laughed at me bc she knows who the crystal exarch is

so. There's That. #cltffxiv

it's important y'stola tells us this so aelfgar can figure it out lmajfodhsoaia #cltffxiv

A
BITCH.
WAS.
RIGHT.

#CLTFFXIV

#CLTFFXIV (5.0 END SPOILERS)

I MADE A MEME FOR THIS OCCASION JUST IN CASE I WAS RIGHT

BINCH. WHAT HAPPENED TO UR HANDS.

ME @ THE CRYSTAL EXARCH:

gdi emet-selch

#cltffxiv

emet has decided to start offing the competition I see

#cltffxiv

okay I feel bad about that. I'm actually genuinely sad about this

#cltffxiv

esp since I'd been mentally building out the ta'rhiki plot for "if the exarch is g'raha tia"

its still a go but it's gonna be SO SAD. GOD. #cltffxiv

alright I'm gonna--oh he's still alive!

ALRIGHT THEN I'M BACK ON THAT ITS GENUINELY FUNNY HES TRYIN TO TAKE OUT THE COMPETITION

#cltffxiv

I am gonna stop excitedly yelling about g'raha tia tho even tho OBVIOUSLY I HAVE THOUGHTS [taps my theory board repeatedly & accusingly] THIS BINCH BETTER SURVIVE. I'VE GOT A STERN TALKING TO TO DELIVER. #CLTFFXIV

YoU aRe UnWorThY oF mY PatRonAge #cltffxiv

he's such a scumbag I love him #cltffxiv

emet selch dumping u makes me wanna get all huffy like. u can't dump me I'm dumping YOU #cltffxiv

[ta'rhiki voice]

(I'm sorry to be confusing btw. ta'rhiki is my catboy alt and I can't help but think about his reactions along with Aelfgar's actions. they're both the WoL but this is aelfgar time so I'll refocus.) #cltffxiv

it's almost like there needs to be two of me to contain all this light.... #cltffxiv

!!! that man stole my cat!!! #cltffxiv

emet selch better patch up my cat #cltffxiv

I was kind of startled that's where the cutscene ended but then I was like, oh right it's only lvl 79--OH FREEBIRD KHOULISIA NICE. #cltffxiv

God this is so good. aelfgar thinking he's about to die and kill all his friends and doom our whole world. the stakes have never been higher. yesssssss #cltffxiv

the game making u go talk to all the people u talked to in the beginning. OOF. GOD. REALLY TURNING THAT KNIFE. God this is SO good. #cltffxiv

got drk to 80 and the mch that took one look at aelfgar's drk glam and hit on him all dungeon (appropriate reaction; aelfgar hot & also slutty) had this to say fjdslkfjasf

God I'm thinking about g'raha fucked up little voice when he was trying to convince you he was Evil. it was so GOOD. I didn't buy it for a second. most people don't sound like they're bursting into tears when they loudly proclaim themselves to be the villain, g'raha. #cltffxiv

they also don't confess their love and their fondest wish to be by your side forever in what is clearly a suicidal goodbye speech, but like. the tearful "I WAS JUST USING YOU" was also a good tipoff #cltffxiv

alright quick pivot to finish role quests lol. this shouldn't take me too long, I did keep relatively up to date with them. I just need the 78 quests & then there's an 80 I've been told #cltffxiv

I also only need one so I could just do drk if I can't get drg 80 with the msq xp #cltffxiv

akdhdhskshskaja this au ra fucker in the drk quests with... his scale... evil mustache... im losing it #cltffxiv

mommy why does ardbert's light party static get TWO tanks #cltffxiv

also two lbs at the same time lmao #cltffxiv

gransons eyeshadow/earring combo is rly doing it for me #cltffxiv

"hold onto milinda and the memories you shared. let that love guide you."

OOF. thinkin about why aelfgar became dark knight... this truly is Dark Knight Quests huh #cltffxiv

oof the irony of granson calling u "sinner" now. nice

(btw I love that emet called u "eater", bc u are one now, & it also contrasts nicely with the standard "sinner" greeting)

#cltffxiv

it's okay, aelfgar also gets two tanks in his light party now #cltffxiv

u know when people are giving a concert & then they see their friends and family and get distracted and wave? that was me during this solo duty every time I slammed the fray button #cltffxiv

alright i have lvl 80 role quested. i shall return to plot and 5.0 endgame tomorrow!! cat retrieval eminent #cltffxiv

ah the Parallels of u being responsible for the light existing (again) & ur role as both the hero and the villain... they REALLY wanted u to be handholdy meme with ardbert HUH. #cltffxiv

a fist bump between Bros lmao #cltffxiv

oh it's the Ardbert Goodbye... ah........... im Weeping....

needless to say this happens Differently for aelfgar lmao.

it ain't a fistbump that's for sure #cltffxiv

oh it isn't the goodbye? EVEN BETTER #cltffxiv

God I love feo ul so much #cltffxiv

oh... lyna is like the exarch's daughter... im emotional about it

#cltffxiv

the umbilicus, you say

i think it would be hysterically funny if clone theory was also right

like, if all my theories (here's how cidnero automaton son can still win) were technically some level of correct #cltffxiv

nvm it's just a little nerdy library #cltffxiv

oh urianger even knew his identity. this shady binch!!! #cltffxiv

what has been written must be unwritten..... #cltffxiv

I love that the exarch talks primarily in like. story & structure. it's why him talking to urianger (also a narrative obsessed bitch) makes sense, & also why his little plan fails

people aren't always gonna follow the neat little plot you've written out for them

#cltffxiv

i also like the metanarrative of me using my lit degree to try to figure out his whole deal. the lit major vs lit major vs lit major vibes of it all lmao. #cltffxiv

this is why lit majors have no rights #cltffxiv

it's hard to be more of a damsel than g'raha. I won't elaborate. #cltffxiv

HERE'S HOW CIDNERO AUTOMATON SON CAN STILL WIN!! #cltffxiv

aw. Cid was dead before they woke G'raha up again. oh well..... #cltffxiv

"ALL THAT TEMAINR FWAS TO AUGMENT SOME FEW OF ITS FUNCTIONS BASED UPON THEORETICAL MODELS OF CID AND HIS COMPEERS."

HERE'S HOW CIDNERO AUTOMATON CHILD CAN STILL WIN!!!!!

I'm TAKING it #cltffxiv

the fact that CLONE theory ends up being the most wrong

ALLEGANS, KNOWN FOR THEIR CLONES....

#CLTFFXIV

he spent an entire century trying to summon me.... god. g'raha. jesus christ. #cltffxiv

urianger I cannot believe you're abiding by singular timeline theory when we clearly live in a multiplicitious universe. what sort of NONSENSE is that. I am not even reacting to the unraveling revelation bc I Simply Disagree with the supposition here #cltffxiv

if g'raha tia survives the plot only to die to being UNWRITTEN despite CLEAR EVIDENCE that isn't how this world's multiverse time travel works I'm going to scream. I didn't watch like 5 seasons of the flash for this #cltffxiv

(on a narrative level he should either die saving u or survive the plot, but on the other hand: On A Narrative Level is his whole deal so we're rly out here playing 5D chess.) #cltffxiv

sudden thought: it's canon g'raha read & loves heavensward, which was written by Edmund Fortemps about the events surrounding the NOBLE SACRIFICE of his OWN SON for the sake of the world

did g'raha secretly mentally assign himself the role of haurchefant #cltffxiv

like he also assigns himself the role of the villain obvs but in his heart is he like. but rly I'm haurchefant... the noble sacrifice out of love...... & he'll never know...

aelfgar, who has Very Present Trauma About This: ....excuse me.
#cltffxiv

oh wait did urianger mean "the place u came from will disappear" and not "your body" when he said "the skein of your existence"

god. I hate this man. #cltffxiv

it's like part literary crush, part parasocial relationship, part religious devotion. g'raha's obsession with you is like 10 red flags in a delightfully arranged bouquet & I adore it #cltffxiv

"he was the lodestar to bring them all together..." #cltffxiv

I think what I love about this for aelfgar specifically is that Aelfgar rly just wants to be seen as Just A Man. aelfgar/g'raha does NOT work unless it's like. aelfgar/ardbert/g'raha

at least until he learns to get to know u as a Person. the complicated dynamics ahhh #cltffxiv

g'raha/ta'rhiki 100% works though. I don't think I need to elaborate why shfhdjshdskshsjshks #cltffxiv

THE EXARCH TELLING URIANGER AND NO ONE ELSE BECAUSE HE HAS DONE SHADY BITCH SHIT BEFORE. INCREDIBLE. YOU MADE THIS BED, URIANGER #CLTFFXIV

oh I forgot technically we haven't learned that urianger lied about the prophetic vision thing #cltffxiv

on that note i love that urianger had zero (0) prophetic visions and still classed into astrologian. I was more right than I realized when I called him that binch that gets way into astrology bc of a vision #cltffxiv

"I WILL SUFFER NO OTHER TO RESCUE THE CHAMPION WHOSE STAR HAS CHARTED MY COURSE"

CHRIST

#CLTFFXIV

thank god g'raha tia is a fictional character so I can love him unconditionally & without reservation dhdhdjskanskal #cltffxiv

one day I will learn to stand a normal distance away from an npc when I talk to them for a quest. until then, aelfgar doesn't know fuck or shit about personal space. #cltffxiv

ALISAIE 😭😭😭 #cltffxiv

"you TOLD them?" no, alphinaud YOU just told them lmao

#cltffxiv

crystarium civilians: I mean, we're not idiots

shdhdjdbsnskshkajsala

#cltffxiv

"I once said that I wanted to fight for estinien--that I wanted to save him, not let him be sacrificed for a cause. and now I say the same to you." AHHHHHHHHHHH. alphinaud 😭

I love that he manages to bring up his boyfriend. he's always thinkin of him!! they're so cute #cltffxiv

AJFHFKSHSLA THE TRIUMPHANT MUSIC WHEN U FINALLY CALL FEO UL.... A GIANT WIN FOR THEM SHSHSKSHAKA #CLTFFXIV

the minor NPCs like "I could live forever and not see something so amazing" & then seeing a giant flying whale & 10 seconds later have to run from a giant tidal wave....

final fantasy fourteen is a comedy #cltffxiv

I'd say "are we fuckin road to el dorado'ing these fish" but technically we've been road to el dorado'ing this whole plot #cltffxiv

oh God this game is making me use my eyes and also my brain? final fantasy, I have neither of those things #cltffxiv

ardbert scene ardbert scene #cltffxiv

aww he miss his friends..... :(

"I'm grateful I got to bend your ear at least. And just for that I reckon I'll stick with you... to the very end."

G O D

#cltffxiv

"but would I have done any different?" alisaie I get finding the ascians to be tragic & understandable and all but Murder Everyone In A Futile Attempt To Make The World As It Was is, frankly, not rly a plan I personally compelling dhsjshsjsksislsla #cltffxiv

its interesting tho bc both the exarch's plan & the ascians plan are both about like. Old Man Reminisces About How The Past Is Better. #cltffxiv

alright that's all for tonight! #cltffxiv

holy shit. ascian underwater chicago is pretty as hell #cltffxiv

there's something about the phrase "why would emet-selch do this?" (in general, not in context) which is making me laugh. #cltffxiv

the mysterious ticking noise.... #cltffxiv

AELFGAR DJARZUMM RECOGNIZED....

oh??? ascian fragment Confirmed?? #cltffxiv

oh never mind he just gave me a set of keys. fantastically gay but like, a bit less exciting #cltffxiv

all of us awkwardly riding an elevator to the dungeon is *chefs kiss* #cltffxiv

I love that the amaurontines are just like "oh my God a baby. precious child. AHHHH" when they you. Nice #cltffxiv

"each seat is occupied by an elected sage of surpassing intellect"

aksjdhalsjala the rude comments I wanna make about lahabrea being the height of intelligence #cltffxiv

mjrn is doing prae rn so I've been informed I need to livetweets msq to help him "avoid brain death" #cltffxiv

[picture taken 10 seconds before disaster]

alisaie: I'm never fond of being treated like a child

aelfgar: you are a child

alisaie:

#cltffxiv

she tries to throttle him but sadly, she cannot reach, 😔 #cltffxiv

I love that emet invites us to his city bc he 100% wants to show us around and prove what a good sugar daddy he is but also he still makes us go through a bunch of bullshit bureaucracy in his mind palace. ajdhskakal I love that he's such a piece of shit #cltffxiv

I hope we learn more about the original ascian calamity & also the hydaelyn side of the story. b/c even tho I think hydaelyn is. a shady binch. I'm not an idiot, and obviously emet-selch is glossing over Some Shit. #cltffxiv

oh the solid 5 second pause while alisaie stares at ryne open mouthed when ryne nervously asks alisaie to come with & help her with something before alisaie says "of course!"

what heterosexual explanation

#cltffxiv

I love that the amaurotines all talk to u like ur literal toddlers it's SO funny.

"oho, aren't we looking rather smart this evening?" ahshsshskssj. God bless.

#cltffxiv

when will one simply pick us up and give us a gentle kiss on the cheek #cltffxiv

the implication that all amaurotines had the level of creation magic to make This Sorta Shit makes me kinda impressed their society did not crumble way faster #cltffxiv

does urianger know about the debate room for debates & also a huge library full of ancient knowledge. fuckin nerd. he'll probably cry about it.

also I know he's probably dying of a gunshot wound somewhere but if he wasn't imagine how much G'RAHA would ALSO cry about it #cltffxiv

so will y'shtola probably

actually. lbr

it's easier to list the scions who don't care about a huge ancient library and it's the ones that didn't go to nerd College (Aelfgar, Lyse, end of list)

oh this guy just referred to another amaurotine with they/them pronouns so I guess ascians rly don't have gender #cltffxiv

I love that Aelfgar isn't even tall enough to reach the counter. ishdjslahsla incredible. #cltffxiv

u know this rly is the dmv despite the lack of lines bc even tho there's a huge amount of space in here, there's nowhere to sit. #cltffxiv

just imagine aelfgar sitting her dangling his feet--OH THEY ACTUALLY SHOW HIM SIT HERE LMAO

oh he's cross-legged tho. disappointing. #cltffxiv

oh shit. self aware shade. that must... suck lmao #cltffxiv

"we were... close friends once, you see..." holy shit emet did u accidentally make A SELF AWARE EX??? incredible #cltffxiv

ahh THERE it is. hythlodaeus coming in clutch. (I assume they were team hydaelyn and that's when the breakup happened lmao.) #cltffxiv

ah, emet..... unmaking worlds & committing atrocities because he can't handle losing the people he cares about and failed to protect.... he's refused to let go. for millenia.

in a lot of ways the exarch and emet-selch are two sides of the same coin. #cltffxiv

you walk with another at your side.... :') ardbert..... #cltffxiv

OH HO HO HO HO. God. I wanna know who aelfgar was. was he the 14th who left. I'm just SO many eyes emoji. 👀 👀 #cltffxiv

like okay there's an implication that everyone keeps getting reborn so all our friends are reflections of someone who used to be here, but u assume the WoL was Someone Important™ #cltffxiv

lol one of my FC members (Karo) figured out where I was in the plot and went to go watch me watch that cutscene sjdhskahala I'm glad ur all having fun #cltffxiv

rolling up on all the scions and they seem so tiny now ahdhdksshak #cltffxiv

"change thing do that even my other self, dying somewhere in that future Calamity will smile and say, 'I knew you would win'." 😭😭😭 ALISAIE...... #CLTFFXIV

"I don't abandon you, you don't abandon me"

god

I LOVE ALISAIE...

(also im so glad for ta'rhiki lmao the Romance here is so good) #cltffxiv

OH DO THEY ALL SAY SOME SORTA RELATIONSHIP SUMMAR THESIS STATEMENT. GOD. I'M GONNA GET EMOTIONAL.

"drag me through wonder and danger, as you are wont to do, and I shall endeavor not to slow you down." alphinaud........

#cltffxiv

akdbdjsla in the middle of everyone's goodbyes Karo came up and consoled me. YEAH FRANKLY THATS THE MOOD #cltffxiv

urianger's is a pledge to keep you safe, y'shtola's is a declaration to dow aht you feel is best, thancred promises to guard your back....

djdjskwjao now I'm getting doted on HELLO EVERYONE WELCOME TO THE SHOW #CLTFFXIV

oh ryne!!! sweetie, it shouldn't all be down to you. #cltffxiv

judging by the three seperate people hanging out around me I assume I'm Nearing The Dungeon lmao #cltffxiv

"it is not he who is lost without the familiar" y'shtola going for the fuckin jugular. I love her. get his ass #cltffxiv

[cluchs my tongue] it's always the ancient civilizations and their high handed star stewardship & Opinions on how modern civilization isn't worthy.... classic scifi.... #cltffxiv

what I love about this in English is that English doesn't have clusivity so when he says "I will bring back our brethren, our friends our loved ones; the world belongs to us and use alone" it's near certainly exclusive our but the ambiguity leaves room for some Interpretation™

emets Angry Face... nice NICE nice #cltffxiv

"our worlds may not live up to your lofty standards, but they're OUR worlds" ALISAIE.... 😭 😭 #cltffxiv

OH NICE TWINS CONTENT #CLTFFXIV

God I love the angry/hurt alphinaud face-- TWINS CONTENT!!! #cltffxiv

!!!! NOOOOOOOO!!

#cltffxiv

I'm just reminding myself I know they survive because otherwise I'd be. Insane. rn. #cltffxiv

oh aelfgars anguished walk forward.... #cltffxiv

NO!!! RYNE!!!! THAT ONE I DON'T KNOW ABOUT SHIT. D:

#CLTFFXIV

there he is.... this is what I thought would happen LAST time the light overpowered us lmao.

now is THIS time for ardbert's goodbye? #cltffxiv

"could you save our worlds?"
"what, all by myself?"

OH AND THEN. HE GIVES YOU HIS AXE

WE FIGHT AS OOONNNEEEEE

YES
YES
YES
Y3S

#CLTFFXIV

YES POSSESSED BY THE GHOST BOYFRIEND #CLTFFXIV

me, who knew this would happen the second they explained the sundered soul thing: OH HELL YEAHHHHH #CLTFFXIV

THE MUSIC #CLTFFXIV

g'raha: we stand together

emet & I at the same time: you can stand at all?

god

I hate that for me #cltffxiv

LET EXPANSE CONTRACT, EON BECOME INSTANT #CLTFFXIV

this explains a lot about the ffxiv hades fucking convos I see sometimes #cltffxiv

THANCRED
FINALLY
GETS A WIN

SJFHDKDH HE DESERVES IT #CLTFFXIV

aww twins content

oh thank God ryne is still alive shdhsksk

#cltffxiv

I can't pause so forgive any more typos than usual.

OH ITS HIS AXE. YES. YES. YES. GOD PICKING UP WAR WAS THE GREATEST MOVE I EVER DID. #CLTFFXIV

genuinely sad about this lmao. the worst boyfriend in a millenia... I'll miss u #cltffxiv

(also the good boyfriend but. listen. he's not gone. he's literally me.) #cltffxiv

holy shit. I thought it was joining with ardbert but it was because emet is ur opposite

OH ITS BOTH

EXCELLENT

(chicken soup for the soul voice) PROBLEMATIC THREESOMES FOR THE SOUL

#cltffxiv

I'm so glad I brought drk to that one even if it means I didnt get to lb, because not only was the thematic shit Off The Charts, it means I also brought fray. [pats aelfgar] this guy can fit so many soul boyfriends #cltffxiv

btw in case it isn't clear "we literally become one and now he's always with me like fray" is literally the best ardbert end*. I couldn't have written it better

*thematically. obviously the best fanfic end is fix-it where we solidify him on the first via banging

#cltffxiv

hey! g'raha tia! congrats, binch. you survived the plot. time for aelfgar to KICK YOUR ASS #cltffxiv

his little sheepish cat ears. wow. I hate him (affectionate) #cltffxiv

I love that we are alphinaud and those friends of his. if u asked dulia chai who the warrior of darkness is she would unhesitatingly (and proudly) say alphinaud. her son..... #cltffxiv

the other reason I'm glad I did the trial on drk is bc now this whole cutscene has Aelfgar's slut glam #cltffxiv

AJDHDJSHSKA NOW ALPHINAUD FIGHTS HIS GREATEST CHALLENGE OF THE DAY: SWIMMING #CLTFFXIV

HE F A I N T E D. alisaie going "oh hells" is KILLING ME #cltffxiv

"wait where's urianger" "eh he'll wash up" SHDHDHSJSGDJDHDSJDHSJSKAHDHSISHAK #cltffxiv

I wish they would put burned in dialogue in the event log.... #cltffxiv

yes YES YES. ARDBERT IS STILL HERE!!!

oh he's. he's seeing his friends while we see ours. oh.... im crying. God. GOD. #cltffxiv

OH THE SHH EMOTE.... #CLTFFXIV

God. I love. Shadowbringers. (the song ....also the expack.) #cltffxiv

meteor in the END SCREEN images as a drark knight. it's WHAT he DESERVES. #CLTFFXIV

being a drk main during shadowbringers was truly chefs kiss. the opposite experience of being a drg main in heavensward shdhdjsjszhakalakl #cltffxiv

I'm not skipping the credits yet purely bc the song is so good

anyway I'm tearing up for real because I keep thinking about how they rly delivered on promises I DARED NOT HOPE FOR. like. guys. guys the fix it fic isn't a fix it fic.

#cltffxiv

like I could still write the one where he gets a body back but that's not canon shit that's just for funsies. the actual canon fic is just gonna be missing scenes shit??

(and ardbert solidifing sometimes for sex reasons obvs but. yknow.) #cltffxiv

urianger: the real lesson to be learned here is I need to learn to walk on water or part the seas

aelfgar: or... learn to swim?

urianger: no... im p sure it's miracles time

#cltffxiv

urianger is gonna fuck a whale to avoid learning to swim. incredible. #cltffxiv

"I woke to find myself in the infirmary, having apparently collapsed from exhaustion. my aching pride was somewhat soothed by the sight of alisaie asleep in the bed next to mine. [...] Long has it been since I've seen her face so peaceful in repose..."

... wow.

#cltffxiv

in retrospect the tweet I did about how emet-selch is the only love interest not death flagging is a VERY DARKLY HILARIOUS BIT OF FORESHADOWING

his was the only death I didn't expect ahfhsjsksla. that's good writing binch. #cltffxiv

SORRY TO INTERRUPT TWIN TIME WITH BEING MORBID. WE RETURN TO TWIN TIME WITH

"[Alphinaud] said my fave was 'a rare sight' while I slept. Gods, I hope I wasn't drooling."

hey. I love them. they're so fucking weird about each other. dhdjslshakskal

#cltffxiv

also. alphinaud. insulting and/or complimenting ur sisters looks is so funny either way. you're identical twins.

#cltffxiv

oh they DID think he was gonna unravel himself from time. lmao. sjdhskahala the fact that I refused to even entertain that as a real theory bc I got mad about time travel logic dhdhdjdhskshakdhakdhaka #cltffxiv

I thought I just misread bc urianger talks so fucking inscrutably #cltffxiv

oh shit. we better be able to take ryne with us somehow. or just open a two way gate. she's family!! #cltffxiv

Jesus he reaches out for you after you leave.... GOD. G'RAHA. NEVER CHANGE. BUT ALSO. PLEASE GAIN A HEALTHY PERSPECTIVE ON THE WOL. (but also. never change.) #cltffxiv

I like that g'raha tia is a romance option bc it means u have to answer the age old question: would ur wol date A Fan™ #cltffxiv

hey remember when we first met and I said g'raha tia had protag energy. lmao. Whoops. #cltffxiv

oh I like the ??? on zeno's body. for once the question marks are accurate. whomst knows who's in there.

#cltffxiv

oh he's BACK BABEY #cltffxiv

I'm always so distracted by how hot estinien is #cltffxiv

ah. nice. zenos domesticator. #cltffxiv

TATARU 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

#CLTFFXIV

and thus officially ends 5.0

OH SHIT. WAIT. ELIDIBUS ON THE MOON

binch. I will be seeing You in moon court. #cltffxiv

I can't believe lahabrea was one of the unbroken. THAT guy? really?? #cltffxiv

"death at the hands of the warrior of light"

I'm. sorry.

is

"taking elidibus to moon court for custody of unukalhai"

going to actually be the plot of endwalker & not just the aelfgar specific plot of endwalker #cltffxiv

ohh... daddy daughter bonding adventure....

"of COURSE I'm going with you. that's what family is for, isn't it?"

#cltffxiv

okay NOW 5.0 is over

hmm. should I continue this thread or... ahh maybe make a new one??? I'll have to put 5.x on it & spoiler warn probably esp if I continue up to the present.....

#cltffxiv

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