Thread by @crazelivetweets

5.5 time! I think this thread will actually be 5.5 & 5.55, unless shit gets REALLY off the rails and I'm like 200 tweets in #cltffxiv

"oh, I couldn't lose [urianger] if I tried. and I did try. repeatedly." abdhrjdhdkdjd #cltffxiv

oh... I thought the annoying mentor pop up just Happened when u hit level 80 but apparently. I. can apply to become a trade mentor.

Jesus the bar is so much lower for craft mentors than battle mentors. 300 collectables versus 1500 comms??? #cltffxiv

Alphinaud and his merry band.......

alphinaud! is the protagonist! of final fantasy 14!!

anyway I love alphinaud/arenvald. cuties.

#cltffxiv

"while my soul may be a year older, my body has hardly aged. /as you are well aware/."

the?

emphasis???

the.

did alphinaud & arenvald. canonically fuck???

#cltffxiv

alphinaud, aelfgar, arenvald, ardbert. oof

in my defense when I named aelfgar I didn't know shit or fuck about this game. also I'm not responsible for the other three

#cltffxiv

(sorry for the reposts I fucked up the thread)

"and may I remind you that we elezen are known to be late bloomers, especially in terms of our height!"

👏 tall 👏 twins 👏 when 👏

#cltffxiv

"arenvald brings out the best in alphinaud, doesn't he? they both seem so at easy in each other's company it's almost endearing."

holy. shit.

alphinaud/arenvald. is real #cltffxiv

me: I love alphinaud/arenvald, they're so cute

alisaie: yeah agreed

me, doing a spit take: w-what???

#cltffxiv

people keep saying "telophoroi" and I'm starting to suspect I'm supposed to already know what that is

I... do not!

#cltffxiv

nanamo's chair pushed in all the way.... cute. did she also get a booster seat. I hope so.

#cltffxiv

"and when they did.... they tried to kill us." hsgsjsgdsk lyse's delivery.... god lyse I missed u. ur always so fucking funny #cltffxiv

"it seems likely that fandaniel has rallied a faction of the splintered garlean army to the banner of the telophoroi"

okay so... the telophoroi are fandaniel's (and technically, zenos') garlean squadrons? or do they work for the telophoroi, who are some subsect of weirdo ascians

I guess????? #cltffxiv

fordola redemption arc!!!!! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES!

god. arenvald & fordola is. literally just a fucking buddy comedy. #cltffxiv

God. fordola just like. "I HATE it here [saves the day] you all SUCK [saves the day again]"

i. am so glad. we got to keep her, honestly.

#cltffxiv

her angy little crossed arms.... god bless #cltffxiv

ALPHINAUD'S LITTLE HEARTBROKEN WORRIED FACE BC HIS BOYFRIEND IS GOING OFF ON A DANGEROUS MISSION... WOW. #CLTFFXIV

arenvsld gently pulling alphinaud from our Important Political Meeting so they can say their private goodbyes.

I'm.

stands up. walks away.

sits down on the ground.

WHAT HAPPENED TO NO CANON ROMANCES????

#CLTFFXIV

by private goodbyes I also mean the 10 minutes of alphinaud calmly, then slightly less calmly, then frustratedly, then upsetly tries to talk him out of it

then he gives him a gentle goodbye kiss while alphinaud still has tears on his face.

#cltffxiv

arenvald: now that it's out in the open, I don't have to keep it under my proverbial hat anymore

aelfgar: the secret mission or the relationship

arenvald, sputtering slightly: the mission!

alphinaud: the relationship wasn't secret aelfgar, u just didn't notice

aelfgar: Hm

u might be asking urself, caelan, alphinaud fucks a lot of people and aelfgar is usually just, "he probably knows what he's doing"

yes but u see

alphinaud doesn't DATE a lot of people

& aelfgar already gave estinien A Talk during doma drg quests lol #cltffxiv

on the flipside

please imagine /alphinaud/ giving G'RAHA a talk

#cltffxiv

I love found families!!! #cltffxiv

every single time someone has to very seriously say fandaniel.... that's why acting is a very skilled art #cltffxiv

fordola: it's not like I had any SAY in the matter

arenvald, patting her: she did, actually

#cltffxiv

poor fordola can't be a proper tsundere because arenvald keeps calling her out sbdkshslshadhla

#cltffxiv

arenvald finalfantasy's rehabilitation program for ala mhigan teens

#cltffxiv

fuck I just thought about his backstory and the side plot where we get a load of money to revitalize the city and realized this is probably actually real. arenvald volunteers at soup kitchens and community centers & works with homeless & troubled kids. and fordola. #cltffxiv

THEY FIST BUMP? LIKE BROS? IS THIS HOW THEY TRY TO MAKE IT SO ITS. NO CANON ROMANCES. AGAIN?????

THIS IS... EMBARRASSING FHDHSKDHALDHAL #CLTFFXIV

arenvald sounds like ardbert but I think that one really is just accent

#cltffxiv

"mayhap when all of this is over, we could take another trip to loch self. I would have you know I've become a rather capable swimmer since our last visit."

.... u cannot have them fistbump to disperse the homoerotic tension and then have alphinaud say this. wtf. #cltffxiv

"maybe when this is all over we can go on another date and even go swimming ;)" #cltffxiv

HE MIGHT LOOK LIKE HES 12 BUT HES SEEN MORE ACTION THAN MOST PEOPLE SEE IN A LIFETIME

#CLTFFXIV

FINAL FANTASY FOURTEEN EVERYONE #CLTFFXIV

anyway

arenvald being like "I'll never be a hero like aelfgar or alphinaud" make me so sad.... ur always doing ur best!!! arenvald please understand little things stack up into big things. u saved fordola & then she saved us and then we saved the world. ur important!! #cltffxiv

tataru swearing.... charm point #cltffxiv

"to see this place in all its former--forgive me--in all its original glory"

ah.... g'raha rly is stuck in this He's In The Past™ mindset. and he is, for him, because he lived 100 years awake & 200 years asleep & all that but. gently kisses him. be present my guy #cltffxiv

"this will be my first encounter with the famous estinien. and if he's half the man alphinaud claims, I fully expect to go weak at the knees. perhaps do a bit of fainting while I'm at it."

oh... my dearest lord. #cltffxiv

I could focus on how much alphinaud talks estinien up, but. I can barely focus on that because... this is about to be a Fucking Show isn't it.

#cltffxiv

oh.

my.

god.

ITS EVEN FUNNIER THAN I IMAGINED. HE MISTAKES ALISAIE FOR ALPHINAUD. SO HE. FLIRTS. WITH ALISAIE. I'M GONNA D I E ACTUALLY #CLTFFXIV

his fuckin. grumbly voice "not that I'm complaining. its been too long" [shoves u aside to stare down at "alphinaud"] as he looks down at her hshdksdhkahdakhsla god bless us every SINGLE! ONE! #cltffxiv

oh GOD. THIS IS SO EMBARRASSING. I literally covered my face and said "I'm going to die in REAL LIFE." and Reili made me explain and is now also dying of laughter #cltffxiv

~an ilm taller and twice as rugged. it suits you, alphinaud.~

iT SuITs yOu ALPhInAuD

#cltffxiv

wow. I'm about to see a man die today. #cltffxiv

"PERHAPS YOU SHOULD REMEMBER WHAT HE LOOKS LIKE"

aelfgar, off to the side, trying to share popcorn with a visibly nervous g'raha: well, you are--

alisaie: SHUT UP AELFGAR

g'raha tried to step in the second he realized what was happening but aelfgar stopped him. it was super funny and estinien totally deserves this. call ur dad maybe, binch #cltffxiv

oh my God g'raha doing his fanboy thing. WHY IS EVERY MAN HERE AN EMBARRASSMENT.

[aelfgar voice] I don't know them #cltffxiv

Reili has posited that people walk past and go "is that the warrior of light and his friends" and aelfgar says "I'm not the warrior of light, that's the other xaela dark knight in the city" and over in the forgotten knight sid suddenly gets a deep feeling of foreboding #cltffxiv

estinien absolutely stands there silently for like 5 minutes like "there's. there's two of them. there's two of them??" #cltffxiv

"that was hardly the first time we've been confused for one another. nor, I suspect, will it be the last." what I love is. alisaie has visible boobs now. and they dress differently? so it's literally.

gestures

IDENTICAL TWIIINS....

#CLTFFXIV

"he seems just as happy around estinien as he does arenvald."

this patch is Meet The Alphinaud Boyfriends huh #cltffxiv

WELL, YOU CAN'T KEEP HIM ALL TO YOURSELF FOREVER

#CLTFFXIV

"I'D BE GLAD IF SOMEONE WOULD TAKE HIM OFF MY HANDS.".

alisaie. u remember we were there when g'raha did that exact thing and u proceeded to try & punch gauis, and then u DID punch g'raha, right

#cltffxiv

"I don't know who he thinks he is but he's NOTHING like alphinaud painted him to be."

alisaie, that's because he's grossly in love with the man. idk why u didn't expect this honestly shdkshsl if u asked aelfgar he'd just say "he never calls his dad :|" #cltffxiv

estinien, hissing at aelfgar: why didn't u tell me there's two of them

aelfgar, idly: maybe if u came back more often u'd know this. ur dad says hi btw. again.

#cltffxiv

Aelfgar's arc is learning how to be catty & rude out loud in a healthy way without literally having to manifest a guy out of the Literal Darkness to be his anger translator #cltffxiv

(also about like, both letting himself feel anger and then letting go of that anger ahdjshskahala.) #cltffxiv

oh... estinien being like "technically she's kind of my sister now so I gotta help her" about tiamet 🥲 #cltffxiv

yesssa let's free the big dragon mom!! hell yeah. yell yeah. tiamat descends from the heavens!! #cltffxiv

estinien crossing his arms but doing a little smile he tries to hide... God. I love him. bastard man. #cltffxiv

ALRIGHT I HAVE CAT SQUAD OBLIGATIONS (SQUOBLIGATIONS) so that is all the msq for tonight. it has been a wild & wonderful ride. hopefully I get to the dungeon tomorrow!! #cltffxiv

estinien looking alisaie in the eye and asking her if she's tough enough to help remove tiamat's shackles.

god. estinien. do u have a DEATH WISH

#cltffxiv

oh wait he was talking to g'raha. that's a valid question then a ehakhskahskala

#cltffxiv

"while I do not claim to know all of her sorrows, I too once found myself in a prison of dispair."

OOF. YEAH...

#cltffxiv

g'raha so locked into the idea that this was the Only Way but also hating every second of it because he was essentially... like. traumatized by the death of the WoL, and then the idea of the death of the WoL, u get me?

#cltffxiv

"mayhap when our work here is done, we could trade tales over a pot of tataru's famous tea?"

"and be indebted to her for the leaves and hot water? I think not."

"...i see. ahem! returning to the task at hand--"

AHDJSOAHDOSDA. G'RAHA. U TRIED, I'LL GIVE U THAT. RIP #CLTFFXIV

"ah yes. we are familiar with it. the aetherochemical research facility in particular."

me, guy who gets that in roulettes like every week: we sure fuckin are

#cltffxiv

g'raha: HANDS AELFGAR A BIT OF HIS BLOOD

alisaie: why. do u just. have that.

MOOD, ALISAIE

#CLTFFXIV

yeah, emet-selch absolutely invented planned obsolescence. that does NOT surprise me

#cltffxiv

his crimes just keep piling up (affectionate) #cltffxiv

aldhfjsvdlshssh ESTINIEN HAS BEEN BANNED FROM OPERATING ALLAGAN NODES BC HES MEAN #CLTFFXIV

I would rather g'raha wasn't so eager to simply bleed on things to get jobs done. just because it works,, #cltffxiv

let me talk to angelo, final fantasy :( #cltffxiv

TIAMAT DESCENDS FROM THE HEAVENS!!! hell yeah #cltffxiv

oh? paglth'an, you say #cltffxiv

sjdhskahala estinien like. "obviously I'm riding the dragon. bye." I love him. #cltffxiv

I like how there are like. 10 other people here doing this bit of msq. pats them all. yeah. rushing to finish for ew huh. I believe in us #cltffxiv

paglth'an now accessible! #cltffxiv

"I haven't always seen eye to eye with the amal'jaa. but today I will fight side by side with them in common cause--and hope that none of them remember me."

lmao. aelfgar mentally like. lowkey that's why I disliked u for years. #cltffxiv

oh the way the tower squelches

also

GOD. YEAH. I KNEW IT WOULD BE SOMETHING LIKE THIS. estinien did u fucking mention what happened during ur solo duty to like. anyone. ahdjsldhalahlaa. #cltffxiv

God this is so worrying. fordola & arenvald are rly shaped like--NO #CLTFFXIV

DDDDDDD: ARENVALD
????

?
??

#CLTFFXIV

fuck I gotta go make dinner >:[ #CLTFFXIV

alright I'm back

GOD. THE ESTINIEN. WALL LEAN OF IT ALL.

#cltffxiv

GOD. ALPHINAUD'S TINY LITTLE TREMBLING HEAD SHAKE... HIS SAD WIDE EYES... THE "oh no..."

GOD. HES SO GOOD. I love him. best boy. the gentlest of kisses upon him. #cltffxiv

AND THEN HE RUNS OFF???

"I-I must go. Forgive me, Your Grace!"

alphinaud! is! canonically! in! love! with! arenvald! WOW! #CLTFFXIV

ALISAIE LITERALLY SENDS US AND ESTINIEN TO BE HIS MORAL SUPPORT..... GOD. #cltffxiv

God... they rly are kinda setting up for arenvald to die tragically while alphinaud clutches his hand and cries. :( bls..... do not do this to the boy!!

#cltffxiv

LIKE THEY SUDDENLY ARE MAKING SURE U KNOW HOW MUCH ALPHINAUD CARES ABOUT HIM AND RLY HAMMERING IT HOME AND ITS LIKE. HM. #CLTFFXIV

"... I take it Alphinaud is fond of Arenvald."
ALDJSKDHALAJDHSJDHSJSJAHDKS?? OH BOY

[aelfgar voice] I'm not getting involved in this

#cltffxiv

oh fordola.... angy crossed arms Refuses To Leave While Arenvald Is In There.....

wow. I love her so much. arenvald! is her best friend!! (which is honestly. a bit of an oof. for her personally lmao.) #cltffxiv

I want to say that like. making her arenvald's best friend who refuses to leave him behind even when he DOES take the hit for her, absolutely will not let him sacrifice himself....

that's Fordola Redemption Arc Right There Babey

#cltffxiv

I hope fordola is fucking invincible & unkillable and gets all the deeply complicated, incredibly difficult growth she deserves

and haters die mad about it

#cltffxiv

estinien @ fordola: yeah alphinaud is an idealistic optimist and we're "realists" but consider: that's his charm point

ejdjsshaldhqls god #cltffxiv

I love that estinien's relationship with alphinaud is essentially... he believes the world sucks but he deeply respects how alphinaud is an idealist against Every Odd, since

a) it saved his life

b) it possibly saved the world

so like. he WANTS to believe #cltffxiv

the fuckin grantaire/enjolras of it all #cltffxiv

I wish more than three people knew about teilen because then I could just say fordola's teilen vibes are off the fucking charts today

instead I'll just say: I love her. she cares so much & she's SO angry & she has a right to that anger

#cltffxiv

ffxiv & also me making the same character around the same time: I just think talking about trauma & anger & making that conversation really complicated is Neat

#cltffxiv

(and also. occupying nations & how the occupied people react to that to survive. but if I get into that convo I'm gonna get Upset again lmao)

#cltffxiv

... isn't the fragrant chamber where she mcfuckin went into a coma that one time

#cltffxiv

okay no it's the meeting room #cltffxiv

I like the current nanamo but I do miss her tiny squeaky mouse voice from arr sometimes #cltffxiv

I'm trying to remember if nanamo ever calls raubahn "general aldynn" in council meetings or if she always calls him raubahn

either way I do think it's funny that no one calls pipin by his title. this is what happens when ur categorically Son Boy #cltffxiv

god. estinien in the back of the meeting just wall leaning. HE JUST EXISTS TO LURK, WALL LEAN, EAT HOT CHIP & JUMP. I LOVE HIM. #cltffxiv

I rly do like that after shadowbringers whole "what's a beast tribe" / "the beast tribe is the lalafell" thing, we return and the story is now "hey so 'beast tribes' is racist huh? let's break that down"

idk if that's metanarrative or not but either way I'm relieved #cltffxiv

pour one out for all my friends who dealt with me yelling in the chat for like the entire months of March & April while I did ARR ahdhdksshak #cltffxiv

"maybe we should send some of our own people just in case. let's ask tataru" abdhskdjls

literally. tataru. is our leader #cltffxiv

like bla blah blah technically the scions have no official leader but. the person who handles all the logistics, and the money, and the INFORMATION?

that person. is in charge. officially or not. #cltffxiv

I love that the rising stones is literally Home for alphinaud.... ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh #cltffxiv

is this where we meet his shitty dad lol so the like. framing is even more deliberate #cltffxiv

thancred: let's go home that includes u, estinien. krile wants to speak with u, if u wanna come.

every single scion: gives estinien a pleading face

estinien: ...fine

#cltffxiv

"really? I thought you were avoiding 'that baldesion woman'."

and then. the silent long look between them. as alphinaud just smiles all pleased. God. it's good

also THAT BALDESION WOMAN
BSHDJSKAJAHDJAJAL

"IF I REFUSED SHE WOULD ONLY PURSUE ME" #CLTFFXIV

I love krile, with her cute little cat ears hoodie, the Most Terrifying Woman We Know. yeah! yeah! yeah! U CAN BE CUTE AND FUCK IT UP!!

#cltffxiv

ahhh so the leveilleur dad enters the plot bc they called home and asked for help

he's 100% gonna say no huh whdjsjaka

or he's gonna do that Shitty Parent thing where he says yes but there's a whole host of stipulations & the twins suffer >:[

#cltffxiv

"the forums barefaced refusal to assist you in the days prior to the calamity"

so. their dad. said no to helping with the calamity. the one that killed HIS dad, because he sacrificed himself to save literally everyone on the star. wow. incredible. what a swell guy #cltffxiv

I too would run away from home at 16 #cltffxiv

hey did we ever like. figure out. why the Isle of Val and all the fucking baldesions just Fucking Disappeared Into The Aether, or #cltffxiv

"I must ask you again, will you join us?"

AND THEN HE LOOKS AT ALPHINAUD. AND ALPHINAUD GIVES HIM. LITERALLY

HE DOES THIS 🥺

SHDHLADHLA #CLTFFXIV

is estinien talking to all of us now or is this still about Alphinaud bc it feels still about Alphinaud

#cltffxiv

oh it's still about Alphinaud. wow. #cltffxiv

GRAHA GRINNING AND ROCKING EXCITEDLY TO THE SIDE... WOW... THE AZURE DRAGOON!!! WOW!!!

hey. I adore him #cltffxiv

zenos is literally girl getting ready for a date desperately throwing all her clothes on the ground and trying to find the Perfect Outfit

#cltffxiv

his little

\o/

fandaniel.... unfortunately shaping up to be a fave 😔 #cltffxiv

sorry I have impeccable tastes or whatever #cltffxiv

I do like his new, much less stupid outfit. it's fancie and cute and purble. I want it #cltffxiv

I'm so glad zenos' new outfit proves what I always secretly suspected

zenos rly does have No Ass and he was overcompensating in stormblood #cltffxiv

"you will tell me if I become insufferably smug, won't you? because the way things are going, it feels like a definite possibility."

aelfgar, who has always found the twins' unbearable smugness funny, & also a defining feature: ...? why

#cltffxiv

"you won't catch me trading blows with a primal in the near future"

it's because tataru is simply Too Powerful. #cltffxiv

AAAND THATS A WRAP ON 5.5 #CLTFFXIV

alright it turns out this thread is 134 tweets long and 5.4 was 228, so I'm gonna keep it going with 5.55

#cltffxiv

ESTINIEN AVOIDING THE COUNCIL MEETING BECAUSE AYMERIC WILL BE THERE AND HE DOESN'T WANT TO DEAL WITH [GESTURES] ALL THAT

INCREDIBLE???? #CLTFFXIV

aelfgar like. can I also stay behind for the same reason.

thancred, cheerfully: nope! only one aymeric avoiding allowance

aelfgar, gritting his teeth: beaten to the punch by estinien AGAIN....

#CLTFFXIV

I'm glad we're making strides to be better about the beast tribes but can we.... give them their own seats... maybe....... #cltffxiv

aymeric is sitting next to raubahn & nanamo is sitting next to him.... do u think. he got there before her. and being... his deeply awkward self... he sat down next to raubahn excitedly discussing something and no one knew how to tell him. to move. dhwjajakahkahala #cltffxiv

lyse tried to get up & move when nanamo got there but they have to be a United Front so raubahn just shook his head at her shdkshslahal #cltffxiv

WOULD THAT MINFILIA WERE HERE TO SEE IT..... GOD

#CLTFFXIV

oh... the grand company of eorzea... ALPHINAUD'S WILD PLAN BUT GOOD THIS TIME.... #CLTFFXIV

what's funny is aelfgar went "uh. I don't. know." when asked to name it

but ta'rhiki will actually confidently name it while winking at alphinaud.

the fact that by endwalker ta'rhiki is... a good nuhn......... I CRY. #cltffxiv

OH... ALPHINAUD. CRYING. YES. YES. YES.!!! #CLTFFXIV

g'raha who literally JUST missed all of the crystal braves shit: is alphinaud okay? he seems sad

all of us: no this is some character growth shit dw dw. u had to be there.

#cltffxiv

alright I love u guys and I KNOW I'm so close to finishing msq for REAL for real, but my attention is... shot & it's getting p late and I have work tomorrow.

see u soon!

#cltffxiv