Thread by @Paul_Lesko

To do this correctly, I need to tell the whole story. SO...those who have already followed my tweets on Upper Deck v. Flores (or what will forever be known as "The case where someone filed a pic of their ass in federal court"), bear with me a second.

Or is it bare? Bare ass?

And don't say I didn't warn you.

THIS WILL HAUNT YOU.

So stop reading if you want to keep your sanity.

For the rest of the depraved, go right ahead. Keep reading.

OK, enough theatrics.

This case started innocently enough. It's a lawsuit Upper Deck brought against an alleged seller of a counterfeit UD card named Flores.

If you want a summary of what the case is about, here you go:

https://twitter.com/Paul_Lesko/status/1409868883851464712?s=20

Moving ahead in time, the defendant fails to answer in time, so Upper Deck moves for default...and here's a fun summary of that.

https://twitter.com/Paul_Lesko/status/1439954364622311426?s=20

And then the case gets weird(er)...because there's a filing from the defendant which has a collection of emails that is supposed to somehow help the defendant's position.

They don't...

...and there's a weird pic of a body part.

Now, since the filing is kinda weird, I assume it must be a pic showing an injury...and giving everyone credit for being adults...assume it's maybe...an eye injury?

Here's a link to my initial thoughts:

https://twitter.com/Paul_Lesko/status/1447556055240687617?s=20

But then I dive more into the filing and after I read the innocuous phrase "Notwithstanding said objections, counsel attaches a photograph of his ass," I determine...OH DEAR LORD IT'S AN ASS. IT'S AN ASS!

And here are my tweets when I figured that out.

https://twitter.com/Paul_Lesko/status/1447586344591581188?s=20

Now...you've all come here because you want to see the pic, right?

FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS GOOD IN THE WORLD PLEASE STOP READING. DO NOT CONTINUE.

But knowing you're going to ignore the warning...

...no serious, stop. Once you see this you won't be able to get it out of your mind.

OK...you were warned. Here you go:

You can stop screaming! WE'LL GET THROUGH THIS TOGETHER!

I mean WTF is that?!?!

Get that man to the hospital already!

But you can see how my sweet, innocent mind saw an eye injury, right?

No?

Sigh.

While I was trying to puzzle what the pic was, I brought in some "experts" who provided me various opinions of what they thought it was.

I have to credit @I_am_Steele with the best guess, along with his commentary of, "The Fellowship needs to hurry the fuck up."

So, yeah. What were we talking about again? Oh, that's right.

SOMEONE FILED AN ASS IN FEDERAL COURT.

How's the court going to take this? I bet you can guess. BUT, we have a hearing date coming up...so you won't need to guess.