Why your painful past can drive you to do well in life?
I had a painful childhood growing up.
I come from a strict Asian family and my dad had temper issues.
My story + thread:
I had a painful childhood growing up.
I come from a strict Asian family and my dad had temper issues.
My story + thread:
1/ He used to beat me up as kid for getting poor grades in school.
He would cane me till I bled on my back and arms.
He was physically and verbally abusive.
This haunted me for years, and I badly wished I was born into a different family.
He would cane me till I bled on my back and arms.
He was physically and verbally abusive.
This haunted me for years, and I badly wished I was born into a different family.
2/ When I saw my friends grow up in loving families where their dads were like their best friend, I felt envious.
And this made me more helpless because there was nothing I could do to change my circumstances.
And this made me more helpless because there was nothing I could do to change my circumstances.
3/ Till today, I avoid talking about my dad and family when I'm with friends.
It's a scar in my life I prefer to hide.
You may not have the same background as me. We're all different.
But if you too have a past that you feel ashamed of, know that it's alright.
Here's why:
It's a scar in my life I prefer to hide.
You may not have the same background as me. We're all different.
But if you too have a past that you feel ashamed of, know that it's alright.
Here's why:
4/
3 Reasons:
a) Your past does not determine your future
b) It makes you hungry and driven
c) Greater resilience, Deeper gratitude
3 Reasons:
a) Your past does not determine your future
b) It makes you hungry and driven
c) Greater resilience, Deeper gratitude
5/ Reason #1:
We can still do well in life. Our past does not determine our future.
I've been incredibly blessed to be able to attain financial freedom before the age of 30.
And I guess I was able to work so hard because I had something to prove.
But I'm not the only one.
We can still do well in life. Our past does not determine our future.
I've been incredibly blessed to be able to attain financial freedom before the age of 30.
And I guess I was able to work so hard because I had something to prove.
But I'm not the only one.
6/ Upon further reading of well known entrepreneurs and business people...
I realized that this is more common than I thought.
Everyone has their own skeletons in the closet.
I realized that this is more common than I thought.
Everyone has their own skeletons in the closet.
7/ Tony Robbins shared in interviews that his mother was an alcoholic and drug abuser.
She used to pour liquid detergent down his throat and beat his head against the wall till it bled.
She used to pour liquid detergent down his throat and beat his head against the wall till it bled.
8/ Elon Musk had a terrible childhood, as he was an outcast.
He was bullied and beaten up in school by other kids for being weird.
Those memories still haunt him till today (he teared up in anger when asked about this in his Biography with Ashlee Vance)
He was bullied and beaten up in school by other kids for being weird.
Those memories still haunt him till today (he teared up in anger when asked about this in his Biography with Ashlee Vance)
9/ Warren Buffett has a mother who would belittle him and his siblings when she was in a bad mood.
She would call them things like "useless and good for nothing".
She would call them things like "useless and good for nothing".
10/ Perhaps these examples are my own way of consoling myself.
To make me feel better about my own past.
I don't know. Maybe?
To make me feel better about my own past.
I don't know. Maybe?
11/ But all I know is that I'm not alone.
And seeing other prominent figures around me also go through a painful past makes me realize it's alright.
I should not let it affect my self worth or determine my future outcomes.
I can still chart my own destiny.
And seeing other prominent figures around me also go through a painful past makes me realize it's alright.
I should not let it affect my self worth or determine my future outcomes.
I can still chart my own destiny.
12/ Reason #2: It makes you hungry and driven.
I know that I had an unhealthy obsession to want to do well in my career and finances.
I worked my butt off, and spent all my waking hours learning how to become a better investor.
Was it healthy? No.
But I couldn't help it.
I know that I had an unhealthy obsession to want to do well in my career and finances.
I worked my butt off, and spent all my waking hours learning how to become a better investor.
Was it healthy? No.
But I couldn't help it.
13/ There was a lot of fire in my belly.
I had a chip on my shoulder.
I badly wanted to prove to myself that I could succeed, despite such a terrible upbringing.
And because of it, I willingly put in more time, effort, and energy into whatever I wanted to pursue.
I had a chip on my shoulder.
I badly wanted to prove to myself that I could succeed, despite such a terrible upbringing.
And because of it, I willingly put in more time, effort, and energy into whatever I wanted to pursue.
14/ It helped me reach a few of my career and financial goals faster than others.
As I matured and achieved some of these goals, I started to feel better about myself.
The past haunts me less today.
But the hunger within still burns strongly because of my past.
As I matured and achieved some of these goals, I started to feel better about myself.
The past haunts me less today.
But the hunger within still burns strongly because of my past.
15/ Reason #3: Greater resilience, Deeper gratitude
I realized that my painful and shameful past gave me a superpower:
It taught me the ability to endure pain.
It taught me how to go within my mind and find positivity in the crappiest moments.
I realized that my painful and shameful past gave me a superpower:
It taught me the ability to endure pain.
It taught me how to go within my mind and find positivity in the crappiest moments.
16/ It taught me how to feel comfortable being alone...
In times when you feel nobody around understands you.
After I started my career and became a general manager of my company, I realized those traits were useful.
In times when you feel nobody around understands you.
After I started my career and became a general manager of my company, I realized those traits were useful.
17/ Managing and running a business can be painful work, and there are so many times I feel misunderstood as a leader.
Often, it's lonely.
Somehow, I'm always able to pick myself up and push on because I felt I've been through worse.
Often, it's lonely.
Somehow, I'm always able to pick myself up and push on because I felt I've been through worse.
18/ And when I experience little joys in life (having great friends who care for me, going out for a good meal)...
I genuinely feel a lot of gratitude inside.
It made me appreciate the little things in life more than others, because those were the things I was deprived of.
I genuinely feel a lot of gratitude inside.
It made me appreciate the little things in life more than others, because those were the things I was deprived of.
19/ If not for my past, I wouldn't have developed these character traits that have helped me excel in my career and finances.
Despite all these, do I still feel ashamed of my past?
Honestly, yes.
I doubt that will ever go away.
But I've learnt to accept it and live with that
Despite all these, do I still feel ashamed of my past?
Honestly, yes.
I doubt that will ever go away.
But I've learnt to accept it and live with that
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