Just finished the #houseofsecrets about the #BurariDeaths on Netflix and wanted to share my thoughts on it, as the Indian daughter of a father who also had delusions of grandeur (hallucinations/beliefs with religious themes) as a result of schizoaffective disorder. A thread 1/11:
Unlike many other viewers, who were rightly creeped out by the show, I was not because I have lived the reality of being a member of a family where the patriarch is psychotic but whose authority was still unquestionable. 2/11
While the show touches upon it, there needs to be a more nuanced discussion of how patriarchy and other structural inequalities dovetail with the stigmatization of mental health in India. 3/11
For instance, I was not surprised to hear interviews with friends and neighbors who hailed Lalit’s niceness and wondered why none of the other members, especially the kids, had spoken up about what was going on. This is part of the problem. 4/11
When I was a teenager, I did speak up against my father. Here are some examples of how it was received: I was labeled as a troublemaker by the extended family. 5/11
A building security guard lectured me on female obedience and quoted the Bhagwad Gita as I physically removed my father from our family home after he attempted to kill my mother. 6/11
My father’s divorce lawyer badgered me about “forgiveness” when I refused to consent to joint custody. 7/11
When my father died by suicide in 2003, I had to report the matter to the police. Not only did they not understand what his mental illness was, but also, they investigated me for murder because I didn’t show “the kind of emotion a daughter would show when her father died” 8/11
I lived through all these issues even though I am from a more privileged background than the Chundawat family. 18 years have passed since and never once have I heard “I’m so glad he didn’t kill all of you too”. Only the dabbing of eyes and discussions about “a great man” 9/11
It’s also telling that most of the 11 deceased in the burari case were women (7) and minors (2). I am certain no one would have believed them if they had spoken up. 10/11
Ultimately if we must discuss mental health in India, it cannot be divorced from the social conditions that protect authority figures from accountability. We don’t just need therapy, we need a major systemic rehaul.
Wow this blew up. Thank you for so many kind words and important conversations. I was 14-18 during this time and was personally giving him medications at the end. But FYI, the patriarchy is still not happy with me: 
• • •
Missing some Tweet in this thread? You can try to
force a refresh
