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David Burge Profile picture
@iowahawkblog
Oct 20, 2021 • 8 tweets • 2 min read • Read on X
big if true
"I have never once met a person who moved anywhere primarily because of taxes"

<turns off notifications>
personally I moved to Texas for the skiing
*I was misinformed
I can do my job from anywhere in the USA. Here's how I came to live in Austin:

criterion 1: does this place have state income taxes?

criterion 2: does this place come with warm weather, bitchin' hot rod scene, BBQ, live music, and friends who already live there?
Incidentally, I am today celebrating my 7th anniversary as an official Texan
I'm sure this will come as a terrible disappointment to the many people who want to pay you to live in Austin
I did not "get it," it was thrust upon me by a grateful citizenry

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More from @iowahawkblog

David Burge Profile picture
Sep 16
Steaming westward across the Atlantic aboard the Skytanic Image
I told the steward to remand all the Irishmen back in steerage to refrain from their incessant sea shanties
‘Tis merely the salad course, you uncultured philistine
Read 15 tweets
David Burge Profile picture
Sep 9
LOL lobby of my hotel in London Image
Fun fact: it literally costs more for a one night stay here than the maximum annual salary in Cuba
Once again capitalism remains undefeated
Read 6 tweets
David Burge Profile picture
Aug 16
Absolute banger from the Amherst Union of Concerned Unitarians For Non Profit Public Radio and Holistic Subaru Health
They finally got the band back together Image
Oh a mighty wind's a-blowing
It's kicking up the sand
It's blowing out a message
To every woman, child and man
Yes a mighty wind's a-blowing
Cross the land and cross the sea
It's blowing peace and freedom
It's blowing equality
Yes it's blowing peace and freedom
It's blowing you and me
Read 10 tweets
David Burge Profile picture
Aug 12
It was a mistake to let you stupid Eurotrash garbage people have internet in the first place
I for one salute the EU Vice Potentate of Belgian waffle regulation for his selfless efforts to save us all from unauthorized opinions Image
brb, off to light votive candles to honor my dead peasant ancestors for getting on the first boat out of that irrelevant shithole continent
Read 8 tweets
David Burge Profile picture
Aug 11
Happy Bonneville Speed Week from #DavesCarIDService! The holiest annual event in automotive speed concluded yesterday, after being cancelled in 2022 and 2023 due to weather and track conditions. To celebrate, today we salute the Babe Ruth of the Salt Flats, David Abbott "Ab" Jenkins, and his amazing "Mormon Meteor" Duesenberg Special.Image
Bonneville draws racers from around the world to challenge land speed records in over 1000 different classes. But Ab Jenkins was a local, a building contractor from Salt Lake City, and was likely the first person ever to drive a motored vehicle there. In 1910 Jack Johnson and Jim Jeffries were to fight for the world heavyweight boxing title in Reno NV, and Jenkins was determined to attend (he would've been 26 or 27 at the time).

Loading up his Harley in SLC, he headed west to Reno along the Union Pacific railroad tracks, but decided to have a bit of wide-open throttle fun on the salt. He discover it was an ideal surface for speed.

He returned to the flats in the 1920s, first in Studebakers (2), then in Pierce-Arrows (3,4), and collected some speed records and notoriety for those exploits. His 1934 Pierce-Arrow 12 Special (4) set the world record for 24 hour average speed of 112.9 mph, and would be a harbinger of the Mormon Meteor.Image
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Yep, you read correctly: 24 hours. We think of land speed racing as straight line, flat-out, over quickly. But Jenkins was an iron man who specialized in endurance: 1, 2, 3, 24, even 48 hours behind the wheel. Instead of a straight line his course was a 10 or 12 mile circle on the salt.

Enter Fred and Augie Duesenberg who in 1935 outfit Jenkins with a highly modified streamlined Duesenberg J designed to shatter all Jenkins's previous records. And it did: a 1-hour record of 153.9 mph, and a 24 hour mark of 135.6 mph. Dubbed the "Mormon Meteor," it evolved over the years, gaining a stabilizing fin, a canopy cockpit, and eventually a Curtiss Conquerer aircraft engine, as seen at the first post in the thread. In 1937 he drove it to break the records for 1 hour (171 mph), 12 hour, and 24 hour (161.2 mph).Image
Read 20 tweets
David Burge Profile picture
Jul 18
Presenting the cast of Real Politicians of Pennsylvania Avenue:

Margot Laga. This high maintenance kitten has claws, and crafty feline-size brain to match. Once hitched to playboy Malibu beach bum Balvyn St. Chud, she leverage a post-breakup discount rhinoplasty to catch a rocketship rebound to with his bitter rival Enrico Fronk JuniorImage
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Chunder Biebler. Scion and chief consiglieri of the Biebler family fortune. International man of mystery, hailed for his daring art, collector of wines and elegant women. Ever vigilant for hostile takeovers of BieblerCoImage
Tequila Bazongas. Equally at home in front of the Supreme Court or swimming with sharks on the Redneck Riviera, this buxom barrister wants to know: is this some kind of bust? Enrico Fronk's most trusted advisor.Image
Read 5 tweets

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