David Burge Profile picture
Karma's janitor
166 subscribers
Oct 6 9 tweets 2 min read
The most hilarious boomerang in the history of boomeranging approaches its ultimate denoument This thing is not over until the wails and lamentations after Paramount buys CNN
Oct 1 14 tweets 4 min read
That Des Moines school superintendent is the greatest charming grifter to fleece dimwitted gullible Iowans since Professor Harold Hill He even rolled into town in the same wardrobe, you just gotta respect that kind of dazzle-the-rubes audacity Image
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Sep 27 19 tweets 9 min read
A happy #DavesCarIDService birthday to the GOAT of all cars, the Ford Model T. The first completed Flivver rolled out of Henry Ford's Piquette Avenue plant in Detroit on September 27, 1908.

"GOAT of all cars??" Let me explain. Not the fastest, or sexiest, but hands down the most important history-altering vehicle ever made. It put America, and pretty much the rest of the planet, on wheels. Circa 1918, half the cars on the road worldwide were Ford Model Ts. And by far, it's the most common car I see in the old photos of readers.

As you can see in this 1908 ad its introductory price was $850, about one year's income for an average Joe at the time. Still, reasonably affordable to doctors and small businessmen. Over its 20 model year run (1908-27) it had some body styling changes but its drive train and suspension remained virtually unchanged, driving economies of scale resulting in a 1927 price of $270.

Its combination of low price, durability, and serviceability resulted in over 15 million Ford Model Ts sold, a record that would last for many decades until it was surpassed by the VW Beetle. It would never win a drag race (at least in stock trim) or a beauty contest, and will never be a big collector's item due to its sheer numbers. But there's a very high likelihood that the first car owned by your family (like mine) was a T, an every true gearhead has a soft spot in his heart for the beloved Tin Lizzie.Image Being of a hot rod bent, my favorite Model Ts tend to be a little juiced up. #1 here is my late pal Norm Grabowski and his Cadillac-powered 1922 roadster, later to become the "Kookie T" of 77 Sunset Strip. #2, "TV" Tommy Ivo with his 1925 T-bucket sporting a fuel injected Buick Nailhead. #3, the Camfather, Ed "Isky" Iskenderian behind the wheel of that 1924 OHV conversion flathead hot rod that he built in 1939. 104 year old Isky and his 101 year old hot rod are still alive and kicking. #4, Blackie Gejeian - the closest thing ever to a real life Fonzie - and his chromed-out, flathead V8 powered 1926 roadster.Image
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Sep 18 14 tweets 4 min read
The FCC is a anachronism of a long-ago expired world where people watched The Love Boat on rabbit ear antenna TVs. Its only remaining value is as a government cudgel to beat campaign donations and contrary opinions out of the media industry Initially it was set up to regulate bandwidth through licenses for radio & TV stations, so that some dick wouldn't set up his own more powerful transmitter at 670 AM. And then of course conditions came with those licenses: call letters on the hour. No smut! And then of course a "Fairness Doctrine" to force airing "equal time" for other opinions, which coincidentally only applied in cases where the opinion needing contradiction offended the prevailing power in DC.

Above all, we must safeguard our precious, precious Public Airwaves, lest our innocent children be accosted by offensive radio and television waves floating in the very air about them! We stand on guard for you, citizens of America!
Sep 15 6 tweets 2 min read
I am reliable told that the assassin was a groyper, and now I'm worried that we've let groyper sympathizers overtake our university faculties, school administrations, and health care professions The cognitive dissonance between "Kirk was killed by a violent right wing extremist" and "no public school teacher celebrating this violent murder by the extreme right wing should lose their job" is truly a wonder to behold
Sep 14 31 tweets 12 min read
Pour a bowl of Frosted Sugar Bombs and scootch up to the console TV, today's #DavesCarIDService salutes the daring racers of Saturday morning cartoons! Starting with Hanna-Barbera's Wacky Races, which debuted on CBS this day in 1968.

The series was a near-copyright infringement homage to Blake Edward's 1965 comedy "The Great Race" starring Tony Curtis, Natalie Wood, and Jack Lemmon. Its principle characters were all doppelganger for that film; Penelope Pitstop: Natalie Wood (Maggie Dubois). Peter Perfect: Tony Curtis (The Great Leslie). Dick Dastardly: Jack Lemmon (Professor Fate). Even Dastardly's sidekick pooch Muttley was a stand-in for Peter Falk (Professor Fate's hapless sidekick Max).

I'm not sure how Hanna-Barbera was able to avoid a lawsuit from Blake Edwards. What's also surprising is only 17 episodes were ever made, each 20 minutes in length, with two races per episode. It ceased production after the final first run episode aired on January 4, 1969, and the following season appeared as rerun on the CBS schedule. From 1976-82 it appeared in syndication for a new wave of Gen Xers. A Wacky Racer reboot, with all-new episodes and voice actors, ran for two seasons on Boomerang 2017-2018.

That's a surprising amount of staying power for a 17-episode TV cartoon. But as a race fan, which character had the most wins? Over the the 34 total races, it's a 4-way tie: Penelope Pitstop, Peter Perfect, The Ant Hill Mob, and Lazy Luke & Blubber Bear with 4. All the other characters had 3 first place finishes, save for Dick Dastardly & Muttley who never once won.

For a tie-breaker I decide to compute a score based on 3-2-1 points system for 1st, 2nd, and 3rd podium finishes. Final standings by Dave Points:

1. Slag Brothers (Boulder Mobile): 28
2. Rufus Ruffcut & Sawtooth (Buzzwagon): 25
3. Ant Hill Mob (Bulletproof Bomb): 24
4T. Penelope Pitstop (Compact Pussycat): 21
4T. Gruesome Twosome (Creepy Coupe): 21
6. The Red Max (Crimson Haybaler): 20
7T. Lazy Luke & Blubber Bear (Arkansas Chuggabug): 18
7T. Peter Perfect (Turbo Terrific): 18
7T. Professor Pat Pending (Convert-A-Car): 18
10. Sergeant Blast & Private Meekly (Army Surplus Special): 14
11. Dick Dastardly & Muttley (Mean Machine): 0Image Wacky Races was hardly the only automotive themed Saturday morning Boomer-Xer fare. The schedule was replete with them. I'm particularly fond of Tom Slick, a subseries within the George of the Jungle series. Tom drove the Thunderbolt Grease-Slapper, and like Wacky Racers there it featured a virtuous female heroine, Marigold, and a mustache twirling villain (Baron Otto Matic).

Tom Slick / George of the Jungle was made by Jay Ward Productions, creators of such classics as Rocky & Bullwinkle, Dudley Do-Right, Mr. Peabody & Sherman, and Super Chicken. What Jay Ward productions lacked in animation quality, they always seemed intellectually a cut above Hanna-Barbera; always with a hint of subversiveness and irony.

I would add that Jay Ward also created the cereal characters Cap'n Crunch, Quisp, and Quake, thereby fueling a lot of Saturday morning boob tube watching.Image
Sep 12 7 tweets 2 min read
There is a difference between people posthumously criticizing his rhetoric and public school employees and medical professionals posting their gleeful touchdown dances on Tik Tok Remember when "accountability culture" was all the rage? Good times
Sep 8 6 tweets 2 min read
Sep 7 21 tweets 10 min read
Throroughly clean your quarter window before affixing: today's #DavesCarIDService pays homage to the art of the hot rod window decal!

No longwinded history lecture today, this is more an aesthetic appreciation of fine graphic design applied to selling speed equipment in a competitive market space.

The decals below are from the 1960s-80s high school muscle car era, and many of the logos are still in use today. If you are of that era, you will be be familiar with every product that the logos represent.

If not, the idea was like this: you bought a second hand car, went to a local speed shop, and dropped your hard earned cash for items to hop it up or gussy it up. Then you would display all the decals of the products contained in your heap (usually in its rear quarter windows) as a brag, and warning to anyone who might challenge you to a street race.

Kind of a brilliant ad strategy for the speed equipment biz, and in my opinion some of the best logos ever created. I even sent away $1 for a Hurst sticker to display on my first motorized vehicle, a 4.5 horsepower B&S go-kart, even though it had no shifter at all.Image Well okay maybe a little longwinded history. As I've aged, the more I've become enamored with the early days of hot rodding, 1930s-50s, when those speed equipment stickers and decals first started appearing. Less clean design-wise, but have a certain vintage oomph. Some of my favorites from that era:Image
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Sep 6 23 tweets 10 min read
Today's Iowa-Iowa State #DavesCarIDService pregame show pays homage to that most Iowan of vehicles, the tractor. And its inventor, John Froelich of Clayton County Iowa.

That requires a little definition of terms; Froelich was the inventor of the gasoline tractor. When 42 year old Froelich rolled it out of his grain elevator in 1892, steam threshers had been around for a while. But those ginormous, locomotive-sized device were incredibly expensive, required a coal source, were dangerous on hill sides, and useful for the most part only at harvest time.

What also had been around for a few years were stationary gasoline engines: big single slug pop-pop-pop engines with a large flywheel, used to power devices but with no wheels. Froelich might've had one in his grain elevator. Whatever the case, he figured out how to mount one on a frame with drive wheels, steering, and forward and reverse gears. Thus the first modern concept of "tractor" was born (seen in #2).

It was light, nimble, and could potential be equipped with implements for plowing, planting, cultivating, etc. And with a potential price point making it affordable to the average Joe Farmer. In some respect John Froelich fed the world.Image
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Froelich only sold a few copies of his invention, but in 1895 sold his company to John Miller of Waterloo, Iowa, who established the Waterloo Gasoline Engine Company. Oddly Miller was more interested in making Froelich's engine than in making tractors; but in 1911 WGE rolled out the Waterloo Boy Tractor, which would become the Model T of agriculture.

WGE and the Waterloo Boy was sold to John Deere in 1918. Prior to that Deere was only an implement company, selling plows, planters, etc., and thus the Waterloo Boy became the very first John Deere tractor and is beloved of fanatical John Deere collectors. Waterloo, Iowa remains Deere's primary tractor building location.

Waterloo became sort of the Detroit of tractors; cross-town rivals Interstate Tractor Company produced the red Plow Boy to rival the green Waterloo Boy. By 1920, 1/5 of all tractors in the world were made in Waterloo.Image
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Sep 5 7 tweets 2 min read
In the worst sports league in the world, this is Mission Accomplished Image
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I like their fervent belief that if only they hospitalize their only cash machine, her popularity will somehow be redistributed to the rest of them
Sep 2 4 tweets 1 min read
I would like to note that, according to ISU fans "Iowa State fans went to ISU, and Iowa fans didn't go to Iowa." I think this proves their point Yeah, and honestly probably half of them, and they're 100% of the biggest shit talkers

Aug 30 9 tweets 5 min read
A very happy week 1 college football Saturday from #DavesCarIDService! Today we pay tribute to those old timey, pep-talkin', vim & vinegar campus legends with a look at Coaches and Their Coaches.

First up: the GOAT of pep talks, Notre Dame's immortal Knute Rockne. Who also had an entire car brand named for him - behold the 1932 Rockne Model 65. Rockne was a product of Studebaker, also located in South Bend IN, and a quite handsome vehicle.

The Rockne brand only lasted 1932-33; Knute Rockne died in 1931 and was never photographed with one. But in #2 he's seen with a 1931 Studebaker and an unidentified member of the 1931 Irish squad.Image
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Another legend of the era was Amos Alonzo Stagg, coach of the mighty Maroons of the University of Chicago 1892-1932, here stiff-arming a 1919 Milburn Electric coupe wearing 1922 Illinois plates.

The car was a gift from U of C alumni. Stagg had suffered a back injury and it was difficult for him to walk, and he coached the 1919 team from the seat of the car on the sidelines.

Chicago was a member of the Big Ten at the time (and still is, sorta-kinda) and somewhat of a gridiron powerhouse. The first Heisman Trophy in 1935 was won by Chicago's Jay Berwanger. But in 1939 it abolished its football team, never to return to Division I competition.

Stagg Field at U of Chicago remains an important world historical site as site of the world's first controlled nuclear reaction. And the University still owns Stagg's 1919 Milburn.Image
Aug 21 4 tweets 1 min read
Look, it you're going to group Cracker Barrel with Yves Saint Laurent and Balenciaga, I'm calling that a marketing win for Cracker Barrel Coming soon: 6 month waiting list for reservations at the Cracker Barrels on Rodeo Drive, Bond Street, and the Champs Elysees
Aug 9 23 tweets 9 min read
Live from Chicago, it's #DavesCarIDService On The Road!

Today we salute my host city with a brief look back at the greatest car dealership strip ever assembled, Chicago's Automobile Row, a/k/a 1200-2800 South Michigan Avenue. Once home to dealers of 123 brands of automobiles. Image Yes you read that correctly: one hundred and twenty-three different brands. Here's a shopper's guide in case you want to hop in the time machine and kick a few tires in 1912. Image
Aug 7 7 tweets 1 min read
Hey Chicago, I’m here ya jagoffs Poll: Most Chicagoish street name?
Aug 2 9 tweets 2 min read
Two days in a row a hotel breakfast buffets Image I mean these aren’t Motel 7s or whatnot, these are pretty decent midscale pseudo boutique places. The problem is the people. At what point did we become a nation of carny trash
Jul 28 6 tweets 2 min read
I'm neither a Nazi nor a marketing expert, but gotta say that screaming that an attractive young woman in a blue jeans advertisement is Nazi-coded is probably the worst anti-Nazi campaign ever devised To combat the rise in neo-Naziism might I suggest that instead of grad school deconstruction of Sydney Sweeney ads, you'd be better off using actual Nazis in a campaign I call "lol get a load of this ugly gay Nazi retard" Image
Jul 13 21 tweets 9 min read
Today's #DavesCarIDService salutes a few of my favorite Gas Palaces, where architects elevated the humble service station to high art. Beginning with The Maestro, Frank Lloyd Wright, and the R.W. Lindholm Phillips 66 station in Cloquet, Minnesota (1958).

Wright had earlier designed Ray Lindholm's house, and proposed this design for his gas station. It was part of his 1927 Broadacre City design plan, and remains the only FL Wright gas station built during his lifetime. It's still open today as a Calumet station.

A more faithful (and stunning) version of Wright's original 1927 Broadacre City gas station design was finally built inside the Buffalo Transportation Pierce-Arrow Museum. Featuring a Pierce-Arrow limo, natch.Image
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The "Phillips 66" brand capitalized the popularity of Route 66, and along Route 66 in Shamrock, TX lies the amazing Art Deco U-Drop Inn Conoco. Designed by J.C. Berry and built in 1935, you can imagine how it was a beacon to Route 66 motorists.

After the decommissioning of Route 66, it fell into disrepair and close in 1990; after restoration to its original glory, it now serves as a visitor center and Shamrock's Chamber of Commerce. It's also referred to in Pixar's CARS movie.Image
Jul 11 11 tweets 3 min read
This is worse than the whole Nazi thing Image JFC Image
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Jun 5 11 tweets 2 min read
Geez all these Zoomers whining about how easy old people had it with cheap houses and low college tuition. "College"? LOL, I dropped out of high school because I already had 3 VP job offers at Wall Street investment banks, with perks like free big shoulder suits and cocaine Not to mention free shoebox-sized cell phones. Honestly I never did shit there except browse 16-bit porn and snort coke at my terminal, but always got my 6-figure quarterly bonus