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David Burge Profile picture
David Burge
@iowahawkblog
Karma's janitor
162 subscribers
Nov 17 • 18 tweets • 8 min read
A happy #DavesCarIDService 95th birthday to Scuderia Ferrari, established Nov 16 1929 in Modena Italy. Not Ferrari the brand, but Ferrari the racing organization that was at first a semi-official arm of Alfa Romeo. Shown here in their 1932 yearbook photo, an Alfa 8c and 6C. Image Enzo Ferrari was still a successful racing driver of Alfa Romeos in 1929, and Alfa had its own in house racing arm, Alfa Corse. But by the late 20s the expense of a factory racing team was becoming untenable and Alfa was wavering on further support.

Ferrari, who had already been given an Alfa dealership in appreciation for his racing success, made a proposal: he would start his own scuderia (stable) to race Alfas under his banner. If he won the credit would go to Alfa, if he lost the blame would go to him. Alfa took him up on the proposal and offered support, including parts, a salary, and garage rent. To make a distinction between the bright red Alfa Corse racing cars, the first Scuderia Ferrari cars would be a darker burgundy red.

Enzo Ferrari would retire as a driver in 1932 after the birth of his son Dino to dedicate full time to his racing organization. That was also the first year the Ferrari prancing horse would appear on one of his racing Alfas, inspired by the one used on the SPAD S.XIII of Italian WW1 ace Francesco Baracca.Image
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Nov 15 • 9 tweets • 2 min read
I'm not sure who needs to hear this but the government's absolute bungled lunatic response to COVID and the "vaccines" that weren't vaccines does not require you to stage a Year Zero bonfire of all previous medical research and seek advice from The 4Chan Journal of Anecdotes Excited to hear your thoughts on the scourge of chemtrails and the "spherical Earth" hypothesis, do you have a newsletter
Nov 11 • 7 tweets • 4 min read
Stopped by Beau & Dave’s clubhouse to see my ol’ nemesis the Orbitron Image The Roach Coach, designed by Ed Newton/ built by Dan Woods & Jim Jacobs in 1972-77. Powered by a Ford DOHC Indy engine. Built for Roach Industries of T-shirt and “Odd Rods” sticker fame Image
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Nov 8 • 7 tweets • 1 min read
How long is it still cool to shoplift $999 of merchandise in California? Asking for a friend The thing that irks me about the $1000 shoplifting limit is it forces people to do math while in a hurry. What if they innocently grabbed $1027 of stuff, and now have to go to jail because they forgot to carry the 1 or something?
Nov 6 • 12 tweets • 2 min read
I can't believe the chicken entrails were wrong There were models and graphs and everything
Oct 30 • 7 tweets • 2 min read
She must complete the 30 minute LinkedIn training video How Not To Leak Israeli Military Plans to Iran before being reinstated as head of the US Department of Not Leaking Israeli Military Plans Hi, I'm Dave Burge of DaveCo Security Solutions. In this informative training video we'll look at ways you, and your organization, can avoid sending sensitive Israeli military plans to Iran. Afterwards there will be a brief quiz to check you comprehension. Ready? Let's go!
Oct 29 • 4 tweets • 1 min read
For the first time in my life, I literally just yelled "get off my property" at somebody. It was absolutely cathartic, and I've never felt more Texan no twitter shtick here. I have my own private haunted woods around my shack and there's been a bigass construction thing going on beyond them. it's been making dust and noise for a few months, which has been an annoyance, but whaddaya gonna do. Anyway a couple of guys from the site, in hardhats and yellow vests, hopped my fence and started walking around my property scoping the site and what. That's when I snapped and went into fist shaking angry old man mode
Oct 26 • 11 tweets • 5 min read
Happy Homecoming parade season from #DavesCarIDService, brought to you today by Food King and DePasto Oldsmobile. Drop in to DePasto Olds and ask Carmine for great deals on a new '63 Dynamic 88, or a pre-owned creampuff like this '61 Buick Electra convertible! Image
Image *of course I would be remiss to not mention the Faber homecoming parade car that spurred mayhem at Mayor DePasto's showroom, the Delta Deathmobile. a/k/a pledge Kent Dorfman's '64 Lincoln Continental loaned from his brother. A '64 is an anachronism given the timeline of the movie, but hey, I'll forgive them that.Image
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Oct 24 • 13 tweets • 4 min read
Oregon fans thinking they can challenge the fucking Midwest to drinking is the worst mistake since Pearl Harbor Oregon IPA sippers, allow me to introduce you to Chicago Chardonnay Image
Oct 24 • 4 tweets • 1 min read
I'm proud to have the highest follower turnover on Twitter DAVE'S REVOLVING DOOR

Tweet N
"Haha that was great you just earned a follow"
Tweet N+1
"You used to be funny I'm out of here"
Oct 21 • 5 tweets • 2 min read
The conspiracy to erase the word "fewer" continues unchallenged Premature wrinkles? Ask your dermatologist about about Boxnix™
Oct 17 • 6 tweets • 1 min read
According to my "for you" notifications this morning the Kamala Harris interview was a disastrous home run in which she appeared calm, unhinged, and collected, and was such a triumphant vibe of self-destructive command of the issues that it will end both her and Trump I'll take your word for it, I ain't got time for any more of this nonsense
Oct 15 • 4 tweets • 1 min read
This is your occasional reminder that if you absolutely can't avoid a pollster, it is your sacred patriot duty as an American citizen to completely lie to them First lines of defense if confronted by a pollster:

Cell phone: block call, report as scam
Land line: hang up immediately, and also why tf do you have a land line
In person: knock clipboard out of the hand, run
Oct 14 • 13 tweets • 3 min read
People with journalism degrees call this guy "stupid."

I think "weird," "autistic," or "politically extreme" are perfectly fine, but pulling stuff like this off probably earns him the coveted "eccentric." J-school Twitter: gawd Elon Musk is such a fucking idiot

Also J-school Twitter: please hire me, I was laid off by Gawker and my cats are starving
Oct 10 • 4 tweets • 1 min read
Maybe the people who really needed to shut the fuck up and move forward are the ones who complete lost their shit and screamed for an all-hands-on-deck mandatory struggle session because an interviewer asked a completely reasonable question Once again, the Streisand Effect is undefeated
Oct 3 • 9 tweets • 2 min read
Valuable child raising tip from the New York Times Image It's an oeuf plat, Michael. How much could it cost, $10,000? Image
Sep 27 • 6 tweets • 2 min read
Join Our Team! Now hiring for all positions, no experience necessary. Starting at $15 per hour plus great fringe benefits. Send applications to Tehran Temp Services Image *small print: fringe benefits are posthumous
Sep 16 • 15 tweets • 3 min read
Steaming westward across the Atlantic aboard the Skytanic Image I told the steward to remand all the Irishmen back in steerage to refrain from their incessant sea shanties
Sep 9 • 6 tweets • 1 min read
LOL lobby of my hotel in London Image Fun fact: it literally costs more for a one night stay here than the maximum annual salary in Cuba
Aug 16 • 10 tweets • 2 min read
Absolute banger from the Amherst Union of Concerned Unitarians For Non Profit Public Radio and Holistic Subaru Health They finally got the band back together Image
Aug 12 • 8 tweets • 2 min read
It was a mistake to let you stupid Eurotrash garbage people have internet in the first place I for one salute the EU Vice Potentate of Belgian waffle regulation for his selfless efforts to save us all from unauthorized opinions Image