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Karma's janitor
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Aug 16 10 tweets 2 min read
Absolute banger from the Amherst Union of Concerned Unitarians For Non Profit Public Radio and Holistic Subaru Health They finally got the band back together Image
Aug 12 8 tweets 2 min read
It was a mistake to let you stupid Eurotrash garbage people have internet in the first place I for one salute the EU Vice Potentate of Belgian waffle regulation for his selfless efforts to save us all from unauthorized opinions Image
Aug 11 20 tweets 9 min read
Happy Bonneville Speed Week from #DavesCarIDService! The holiest annual event in automotive speed concluded yesterday, after being cancelled in 2022 and 2023 due to weather and track conditions. To celebrate, today we salute the Babe Ruth of the Salt Flats, David Abbott "Ab" Jenkins, and his amazing "Mormon Meteor" Duesenberg Special.Image Bonneville draws racers from around the world to challenge land speed records in over 1000 different classes. But Ab Jenkins was a local, a building contractor from Salt Lake City, and was likely the first person ever to drive a motored vehicle there. In 1910 Jack Johnson and Jim Jeffries were to fight for the world heavyweight boxing title in Reno NV, and Jenkins was determined to attend (he would've been 26 or 27 at the time).

Loading up his Harley in SLC, he headed west to Reno along the Union Pacific railroad tracks, but decided to have a bit of wide-open throttle fun on the salt. He discover it was an ideal surface for speed.

He returned to the flats in the 1920s, first in Studebakers (2), then in Pierce-Arrows (3,4), and collected some speed records and notoriety for those exploits. His 1934 Pierce-Arrow 12 Special (4) set the world record for 24 hour average speed of 112.9 mph, and would be a harbinger of the Mormon Meteor.Image
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Jul 18 5 tweets 3 min read
Presenting the cast of Real Politicians of Pennsylvania Avenue:

Margot Laga. This high maintenance kitten has claws, and crafty feline-size brain to match. Once hitched to playboy Malibu beach bum Balvyn St. Chud, she leverage a post-breakup discount rhinoplasty to catch a rocketship rebound to with his bitter rival Enrico Fronk JuniorImage
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Chunder Biebler. Scion and chief consiglieri of the Biebler family fortune. International man of mystery, hailed for his daring art, collector of wines and elegant women. Ever vigilant for hostile takeovers of BieblerCoImage
Jul 17 5 tweets 1 min read
"What are you carrying there?"
"A 15' aluminum ladder."
"No, I mean in the duffle bag?"
"Just some assorted rifle scopes."
"Any 3 ounce liquids or gels?"
"Nope."
"OK you're clear."
"Which way to the highest point?"
"Here's a map, have a great day." CAUTION SLOPED ROOF
No Secret Service on Duty
Assassinate At Your Own Risk
Jul 17 11 tweets 3 min read
I happily talked into the wind against canceling people for saying dumb right wing shit, and now I am happy to talk into the wind against canceling people for saying dumb left wing shit I support a National Unity Tour of Tenacious D and the Obama Rodeo Clown guy
Jul 15 8 tweets 2 min read
This will certainly help Trump shore up his precarious support with the Disaffected Appalachian Rust Belt community With all due respect, fuck that shit
Jul 7 33 tweets 14 min read
Happy 77th kinda-birthday to the Tucker Model 48 Torpedo from #DavesCarIDService. Preston Tucker's star-crossed car of the future had its first public preview at the Stadler Hotel in Washington DC July 7, 1947.

A few weeks earlier, Tucker had held an open house at his factory in Chicago - formerly Dodge's WW2 production plant - which proved to be a bit of a PR disaster due to the prototype's noise, boiling radiator, and snapped suspension. After some all nighters, it was ready for a public tour.Image The Tucker 48 was truly a case of "building the plane while it's in the air," and remains maybe the most fascinating story in the history of the American automobile industry.

I risk going off on a book-length thread on this subject, but there are a lot of myths surrounding the Tale of the Tucker Torpedo (including some of Hollywood origin) that need dispelling. The main one involves a conspiracy of Detroit titans to crush Tucker and his futuristic miracle car. Tucker was more or less considered a carnival sideshow rather than a serious competitive threat by the Big 3, who were more focused on imports and Henry J Kaiser's startup car company post WW2.

Tucker did have a gift for blarney, and had previously worked with Ford to run their 1935 Indy race effort. Beautiful cars that had little success, prompting Ford to stay out of factory racing sponsorship for nearly 30 years. After WW2, along with several fellow enterprising entrepreneurs (Kaiser, Crosley, Playboy etc) Tucker saw an opportunity for a new brand, but his had more razzamatazz than anyone. Rear engine! From a helicopter! Cyclops headlight! Looks like a WW2 bomber! Actually built to be safe!

His sales spiel began almost as soon as he saw Alex Tremulis's concept drawing, leading to some fantastic promotions for a car for which the design, let alone production had even been worked out. My favorite is the 1947 giveaway the Des Moines Cubs. Sadly, winner Bob Borkowski never got his car due to Tucker's demise, and was given $2000 cash instead. The car would be worth around $2 million today.Image
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Jun 30 31 tweets 13 min read
Yesterday was the US interstate highway system, today we bid a happy 71st birthday to the Chevrolet Corvette, the first of which rolled off the production line June 30, 1953 in Flint Michigan.

Only 300 were made in that model year, largely hand built. Available in any color you wanted, as long as it was white (with red upholstery). Kind of a hasty introduction, prompted by the overwhelming buzz the prototype / dream car prompted when it first appeared in NYC in January, and the subsequent traveling GM Motorama show across the country. Over 1 million people saw it during that tour and demand was palpable.

The project itself was prompted by the post WW2 sports car craze. Returning GIs imported more than a few of the nimble little sports cars they saw while stationed in Britain, an alien sight to Americans used to big bulbous sedans from Detroit.

By the early 50s Jags, MGs, Triumphs, Austin Healeys, etc., were a not-uncommon sight in the USA. This sparked sports car road racing at places like Lime Rock CT, Laguna Seca CA, and Elkhart Lake WI. The threat/opportunity for Chevy was obvious and they jumped on it.

Those first 300 Vettes are highly coveted, but in all honesty not that much of car. Fit and finish was spotty due to the vagarities of early fiberglass. They hopped up the reliable old Stovebolt 6 (born in 1929) with triple carbs to squeeze 150 HP from it, but otherwise its antiquated suspension left it more a fashion statement than a competitive sports car.Image
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That sort of "poser" image haunted the Corvette for decades, as the ultimate midlife crisis buy. But it did improve greatly over time. In 1957 Zora Arkus-Duntov took it from a driveway ornament to real racing success with the "Airbox" 300+ hp fuelie version. Its legitimacy of as a real race car was further cemented by Briggs Cunningham's 1960 Le Mans entry, the 1963 Grand Sport, and the unapologetically American bicentennial Greenwood Corvette.

So now when in "Dead Man's Curve" Jan & Dean sang "all the Jag could see were my 6 tail lights," it had the ring of truth.Image
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Jun 29 31 tweets 12 min read
A very happy 68th birthday from #DavesCarIDService to the United States Interstate Highway System, created June 29, 1956 when Dwight Eisenhower signed the Federal-Aid Highway Act.

1. breaking ground on the first stretch of 1-44 in Missouri
2. Retired Ike in 1961 driving his 1958 Plymouth station wagon in Palm SpringsImage
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Now the Eisenhower Instate System, it remains the largest public works project in the history of the world. Its original plan called for 41,000 miles of unimpeded multilane roads crisscrossing the country, and took 2 decades to complete.

Cold war national defense was a big component in selling it to voters, as a way to move military equipment and personnel in case of a national emergency and to quickly evacuate cities in case of a nuclear attack. As the Big Kahuna of the Allied WW2 campaign in Europe, Ike knew the importance of logistics.

But its main selling point was "speedy, safe transcontinental travel," increased safety, reduced traffic jams, and those annoy stop sign slowdowns in every town along your route to Disneyland or the Rocky Mountains, like the folks in the 1956 Plymouth wagon.

It wasn't the first divide limited access freeway in the US (that title belongs to LA's Pasadena Freeway or the Pennsylvania Turnpike [2], depending on how you define it), but nothing of this scale had ever been attempted.

#4: Bonus pic of Ike in 1938 in Denver, behind the wheel of a 1915 Rausch-Lang electric.Image
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Jun 28 10 tweets 2 min read
Write me in, motherfuckers Qualifications:

-Natural born US citizen over the age of 35
-GED from Woodbury County Youth Correctional
-No felony convictions upheld on appeal
-knows/aware of/remembers things
Jun 22 8 tweets 6 min read
In today's #DavesCarIDService we ponder the question: is there a car model named for where you live?

1. 1957 Dodge Texan
2. 1964 Chrysler New Yorker
3. 1961 Pontiac Ventura
4. 1958 Chevy Delray


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It's still pretty common these days for vehicle models to be named for a place, mostly SUVs with a frisson of frontier mountain ruggedness: Denali, Yukon, Telluride, Sedona, Montana, etc., and mostly seen at Costco.

But naming car models at all was a rarity pre-WW2, and generally would stop at "Deluxe" or "Special." But after the war, and moving into the 1950s, the boys in the Detroit ad departments began christening car models that were evocative of places around the USA (and abroad).

One of the first of these was Plymouth, which in 1951-52 had the Concord and Cambridge - both Massachusetts towns that dovetail with their brand name and Mayflower hood ornament. Sorry Concord, Cambridge was the deluxe model.Image
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Jun 18 14 tweets 3 min read
Justin Timberlake story: in 2005 I had dinner at Raoul's in NYC with some friends and they sat us down right next to him, Cameron Diaz, and Drew Barrymore.

Nothing happened, and there's no point to this story other than I recall they were all considered celebrities at the time I probably have the world's worst collection of celebrity stories
Jun 16 8 tweets 6 min read
Welcome to Part II of the #DavesCarIDService Fathers Day Weekend ID Extravaganza, with a tribute to the two patron Big Daddies of car culture: Ed "Big Daddy" Roth, and Big Daddy Don Garlits.

1: EBDR with his 1960 "Outlaw" show rod (aka "Excalibur") and the Revelle model kit of same

2: BDDG with his original Swamp Rat I dragster, the car that completely revolutionized drag racing in 1957Image
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I've been privileged to meet both of these fellas, and written extensively about Roth, whom I consider to be the finest artist of the 20th century (no, I'm not kidding). I'm not the first, either; Ed Roth was central to Tom Wolfe's breakthrough Esquire article / book, The Kandy-Kolored Tangerine Flake Streamline Baby.

Starting as a wacky car painter-customizer-monster t shirt painter in SoCal, he near single handedly established the idea of outsider surrealist pop art; a Warhol / Rosenquist for the masses of monster car drawing grade school kids.

His contribution to car culture, and wider American culture, is hard to overstate. No Ed Roth, no underground comics, no Wacky Packages, no Juxtapose Magazine. Mazooma!Image
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Jun 4 6 tweets 2 min read
Austin without Texas = Berkeley
Texas without Austin = Oklahoma
The thing that made Austin cool in the first place was it welcomed all the weirdos and misfits from other parts of Texas. Don't bad mouth Austin while listening to Willie Nelson, Townes Van Zandt, and Stevie Ray Vaughn.
Jun 2 4 tweets 4 min read
A somber #DavesCarIDService salute to Sylvester H. Roper, by some measure the inventor of the motorcycle, on the 128th anniversary of his death. He was pacing a bicycle race at a track along the Charles River in Cambridge MA aboard his own Roper Steam Cycle (built on a Columbia bicycle frame), when the crowd egged him on to open up it all the way up; on his final lap he clocked 40 mph when a pallor was seen to take over his face. He crashed, and died trackside.

While the proximal cause of death was head wounds, and autopsy ruled he had suffered a heart attack. Possibly from the stress of the 40 mph breakneck speed (certainly a world record for a 2-wheeler at the time), or just from old age; he was 72 at the time.Image
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But here's the kicker: this was far from Roper's first powered two wheeler. "1896" may sound hella early, and it was (his death was a few days before Henry Ford puttered into the streets of Detroit with his first experimental Quadricycle), but Sylvester Roper had already been making motorcycles for 30 YEARS.

His first foray into steam-powered two wheelers was his Roper Steam Velocipede (#1). Dates of its invention range from 1867-1869, barely after the Civil War. Roper was not a great record keeper, and was more involved in firearms, sewing machines. and padlocks, with several patents in those fields.

A consummate New England Yankee tinkerer, he worked at the Springfield Armory during the War, and afterwards came up his Velocipede. It's certainly the first American motorcycle, and occurred about the same time as the Micheaux-Perreaux steam velocipede independently developed in France (#2). Replicas of both vehicles can be seen in the amazing Barber Museum in Leeds, Alabama.Image
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Jun 1 11 tweets 6 min read
Step on it you mugs, it's time to go on a hot rod crime spree with #DavesCarIDService!

First up, the 1956 season-opener of Highway Patrol, "71 In Hot Rod," starring this very ginchy 1932 Ford lowboy roadster following the daring daylight holdup of Chuck's Fountain & Grill.

As the stern narrator explains, "in their never-ending war to escape law enforcement agencies, criminals are constantly devising new weapons. The weapon of the Burke brothers was SPEED. An automobile on which they had lavished thousands of dollars, and a great deal of mechanical skill." The lavishments here include a channel job, dual quad Olds Rocket engine with lakes pipes, Dago axle, hairpin radius rods, and rear split bones.Image I wish to thank my Aussie pal Tim Blair for explaining his unbridled enthusiasm for "Highway Patrol" (despite his numerous unfortunate encounters with Australian road police) during a telephone conversation yesterday. For those who are unaware, it was a late 1950s crime show starring Broderick Crawford as gruff no-nonsense patrolman Dan Matthews, forever solving crimes and wildly violating civil liberties on the highways of some state that was never specified.

Of course, the lurid crime threat of the day was... HOT RODS! And the lawless criminal greasers who built them. And crime never pays! In the case of the Burke brothers (spoiler alert), their heist spree takes a deadly turn when they nail an innocent old lady standing in the road at 120 mph, which somehow never dents the car nor the old lady. It's the chair for you, Burke boys, and impound for your souped up crime roadster!Image
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May 27 11 tweets 3 min read
Why paste a boring photo of Arlington Cemetery or the American gravesite at Normandy, when you can explain the real reason for this somber holiday Image Let us all say Happy Memorial Day to those who happily sacrificed all so that Donald Trump would not have to pay 91 MILLION DOLLARS for ""DEFAMATION"" by Trump Hating Human Scum Judges!!

<cue "Taps" on kazoo> Image
May 27 5 tweets 2 min read
And perhaps other people decided that it's worth their time to sell their work to Walmart to support a new backyard deck they believe in
Unless Walmart is secretly making people work there against their will, in which case I recommend we get the authorities involved
May 26 29 tweets 12 min read
Gentlemen (and ladies) start your engines! On the occasion of the Indy 500, today's #DavesCarIDService pays tribute to one of the greatest ever to drive it: Ralph DePalma, who might've been even greater in defeat in than victory. At the second 500 in 1912, he had led 196 out of 200 laps until his Mercedes "Grey Ghost" threw a rod. Undaunted (and because you had to finish the race to collect prize money), he and his ride along mechanic took turns pushing it a couple of laps over the finish line, and still managed to finish eleventh.Image
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Born in Italy in 1882, Rafael DePalma grew up in Brooklyn NY, and briefly raced bicycles for a local shop. When the shop obtained one of the first Indian motorcycle dealerships, he suddenly became the first man to ride an Indian in competition in 1902. Later in the Oughts, he rode the insanely dangerous board track circuit aboard a Flying Merkel.

When he switched to car racing in 1909 he was an immediate success, winning the first AAA national driving championship. His career (and life) was nearly after being impaled by a cornstalk at the 1912 Milwaukee Mile, leaving him hospitalized for 11 weeks.

DePalma would notch his first and only Indy 500 win in 1915, driving another Mercedes, shown in #3. In 1919, he captured the world land speed record at Daytona Beach in the V12 Packard "905 Special," featuring a WW1 Packard aircraft engine, at 149.85 mph, thaaat close to being the first human to go 150 mph in a car.Image
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May 21 5 tweets 5 min read
This is the Hiroshima of community notes $0.07 per word, eh?

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